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Speaker 1: M h. Welcome to the Therapy for Black Girls Podcast, a weekly conversation about mental health, personal development, and all the small decisions we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr Joy hard and Bradford, a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. For more information or to find a therapist in your area, visit our website at Therapy for Black Girls dot com. While I hope you love listening to and learning from the podcast, it is not meant to be a substitute for relationship with a licensed mental health professional. Hey y'all, thanks so much for joining me for a Session to six scene of the Therapy Feed for Black Girls Podcast. We'll get into the episode right after a word from our sponsors. In Session to ten, we talked with Dr Diane Stewart about the principles and themes that underlie many African traditional religions, and we promised to a part two of that conversation to learn more about the practice of these religions to help us dig into this topic. Today, I'm excited that we're joined by a he May. Aura. He May is a Nigerian words smith and priestess of the Ifa and Orisha tradition she has grounded in her purpose of reconnecting others back to themselves as an educator of African spirituality and holistic wellness. He May and I chatted about her personal journey to being a priestess, Where to start if you're a beginner in these practices, how technology and social media have made it easier to teach others about these traditions, and how practicing African traditional religions can work in tandem with Christianity, Islam and other faith practices. If there's something that resonates with you while enjoying our conversation, please share it with us on social media using the hashtag tv G in session. Here's our conversation. Well, thank you so much for joining yesterday, and he of course, thank you so much for having me. I really appreciate a huge fan Thank you. Thank you. Likewise, I wonder if you can start by just telling us a little bit more about who you are and how you got started in your practice. So my name is ahime Aura also known as Aola long name right if noial priestss. I'm initiated into the societies of Efa, Shango and man Lay. I am Nigeria and I was born in Nigeria in the Baden City. I immigrated to a small little town in Florida when I was around four years old. Even though I was disconnected from like my roots and my traditions, my mother was really the one responsible for keeping things alive for me. She would be the one telling me stories of our ancestors. She would be always the one telling me about Shana before who I even knew Shango was. I wasn't even pritty to that, like at a school night. She would always tell amazing stories and you know, Nigerian moms are very dramatic, so she would always be in the movement and the you know, the voice raise about this being sitting there like, oh my God, it's no amazing. So through her and through her being very deliberate and connecting me with our ancestors as we are kind of forced to assimilate as immigrants, I've been able to keep that connection as I grew into my spirituality organically, as I found my elders, as I was able to reach back. It was really through the help of my mother doing what she could, you know. So that's definitely the foundational part for me in my practice. Yeah, so when you say that your mother kind of kept those traditions alive through storytelling where they're like practices or spiritual practices that you grew up with kind of in your home or did you kind of discover that later in life. So, my mother is always very connected to her tradition, her group, her ethnic group that we come from the delta or very durable people, and she would always especially when it comes to like liquor, and my mom would always have liquor in her house because liquor, to her, it was attached to wealth in abundance. And even the way that we would offer liquor in our hoshold is something that is traditionally rooted to our ancestors. Like the youngest person would take the liquor and they would pass it around the party and the youngest person would be giving the liquor to the elder and then they would pour some out for the ancestors, which is what you know the diaspora does to brown went out for the homebase and everything. So that connection there is definitely what I kind of grew up in my mother. She wasn't spiritually blind, but she also was very aware of you know, you are already black and you're an immigrant, so also practicing indigenous spirituality will make you more targeted than anything else. So she definitely adopted Christianity, and she definitely grew us in a Christian home because to her being Christian in this new land that were all foreigns who meant to be able to survive, you know. So her ability to connect us through storytelling was her one way of being able to fight back against having to assimilate, against having to be in the suppressed state while raising us me and my brothers. Mmm, God, is that this was something that only as you got older did you recognize, like, wow, this storytelling is connected to something much bigger. M hmm. It was really the connection because my mom has a very strong voice, and she would always say when I was a child, I don't want to understand that, like she would always say, if I use my words to curse you, the ancestors will hear it. And only until as I've gotten older did I realize, Oh, my mom was saying so many things at once without one statement, you know. So, can you tell us a little bit about the differences between what we describe as like spiritual practice versus maybe an organized kind of a religion mm hm. So I think it's very easy to say that if is a spiritual tradition, which it is, that is kind of true, it is spirituality. But if a and the Arecia tradition is specified on culture, and it's specified and organized hierarchical religious practice. And I say this because we have things like the Iraq bag Bayo within the Ifa and the Recia tradition, which is the head priest of Ifa on earth and below him are sixteen chiefs. So you have these hierarchical practice already happening within the tradition as a whole to keep things going and to keep things more organized and disciplined. And below these people you have you know, certain chiefs or sort of Arabas and their own villages and their own tribal groups. So these things are kind of divided in order to keep things in order. Because when you have things like just you know, referencing New Aid spirituality, you get things to be, you know, in a way watered down. New Aid Spirituality. Although it is a very it's a platform. It's a place where a lot of people, especially black people, are able to connect to something outside of Christianity. New Aid spirituality also holds in almost simplifying traditional practices, traditional roots, traditional spirituality of indigenous cultures, and it kind of creates a lot of misinformation. And when you're being misinformed of things that are connected to something is massive astity reachier practice, you become very vulnerable, you know, to people who are not practicing the tradition with integrity, or even to certain things that you're not supposed to be doing, you know, because the lack of hierarchy, the ethon the Reacier tradition is something that is very much connected to eldership and mentorship. You would be surrounded by your elders in the compound helping them, being able to understand the religion and being able to understand all the philosophy and the culture in it because you're around it. Does that make sense? So it definitely is like a an apprenticeship that's happening, and why the e Fon Reracier tradition is able to survive while still being an oral religion. It's an oral religious practice. There are no books, you know what I'm saying. There are no books that are going to really be able to tell you the full potency of Ifa. And this is something that it kind of takes me back to this book called Socrates and Rumula by Sophia Lua lu I believe and she was um a Nigerian philosopher and she was so smart. Her books are so incredible. They open you to a different way of philosophy in a in a continental sense, right. And in that book she was saying, what's the difference between Socrates and Rumla because those two didn't write anything. Yet Socrates is considered to be the champion of philosophy, while you know, in Rumla he's the holder of the Ifa oracle, which is philosophy and wisdom. So too, they are two fathers of wisdom, yet one is seen as more credible when I talk to you know, oral culture or a wistuff right, make sense? You know. So it's a really interesting book and I definitely recommend that. Okay, okay, thank you for that. So, you know, I think, you know, we had a conversation with Dr Stewart recently on the podcast more about like the theory behind some of the African traditional religions, and it is something that a lot of people are interested in it. It sounds like, you know, you kind of got some of this, you know, kind of through your mother and kind of growing up with that storytelling. But I think a lot of people just feel really confused as to where to start. How do I know, you know, like which traditions feel that like the best alignment for me? So can you give some tips for people who like, maybe you're figuring out like, Okay, I want to maybe start learning more about this, but do I know if it's ifa, a risha or something else? Like where do people get started? Um? I always recommend that people get started back to their roots where they come from and social reveneration. It's the foundation of all diasporic and continental spiritual practices. Without your ancestors, you're not going to be able to have the foundation needed to be able to work with other spirits. You'll be even more in a vulnerable position because you don't even know if your ancestors want you to practice certain things, if these things are even aligned with your destiny. You know what I'm saying. Um, As an Efondersia priest, There's so many people who come across me who I can tell that their ancestors don't want them to press the Fonderia, but using platforms, are using you know, the connection with African spirituality. It's being able to guide them into okay, maybe who do would be beneficial for you? Or Haitian you doom and things like that. But that's how you're going to be able to really be able to understand. It's through and such a veneration and working back with your ancestors the altar space, which is really the foundational connection between you and your ancestors and the physical space residing in your home, so they're able to protect you in your space and to be able to grow with you. And it doesn't need to be the most extra dramatic things. Starting out simple candle, simple water, you know, a nice little white blanket. That's it. That's all you really need to do to start to grow your connection with your ancestors and being able to understand that your ancestors are not gonna be communicating in the same way as somebody else. Maybe other people can hear or see them, but maybe you can have all these intense streams with them. You are in the dream world and you're connecting with them in that way, or maybe they're showing you simples you maybe the bird that you see outside is them. There are ways that you're gonna be able to be like those are my people, you know what I'm saying, And it's gonna be a unique and it's gonna be even the most refreshing thing because the ancestors go with you wherever you go. So even if they don't want you to go with efa like if you attend to walking them that they can't just be like okay, where this connected? Now, you know what I'm saying. So it's so important to be in a group effort to be able to be like, okay, this is what benefits all of us, so you can see their work happening to you in real time, you know. So you mentioned that ancestral veneration is kind of like the basics, right, so that is building your own phone. You've already given us some very basic tips, you know, like a little bit table, white tableclothed, white towel, a candle. You mentioned something else, water couple, Yeah, a couple of water. Water is acting like a bridge between you of the spiritual world. So it's gonna really act as a purifier, so it's not necessarily like a drink offering. You can get the water if you want to, but the water is gonna be like a telephone, like making things are clear as possible for you to the other side. So when the fire is representing passion, the heart, the strength, being able to have your ancestors see you here, you feel you in a way where it's heavy, it kind of gives them almost like the heart of the fire the spark for the altar space, and the white it's just giving cleanliness, purity, It connects us to you know, for an example of Atla whose eurisha of white cloth, being able to have spiritual tranquility, serenity, and being able to not feel so absorbed by a lot of the spiritual heaviness that's happening because the altar space is going to be spiritually active when you're working with your ancestors. So starting out with something white and cloth would definitely be beneficial for the beginner mm hmmm. Yeah. And you know, and like some earth as well, you know, to keep things grounded into the earthly plane, which is like flowers or crystals or stones or anything that connects to you to Mother Earth. Okay, And so the purpose of setting up this altar in your home is really kind of just like opening this pathway to your ancestor so that there can be an establishing of that relationship, so that they do come to you either in dreams or messages or symbols or you know. It's kind of like letting the ancestors know I'm open to this, and to me, the altar space really is just a physical place where you're able to connect, like a communication spot between you and ancestors because they're already within, you know, and if I thought tells us that the ancestors reside in our body and particularly our feet, specifically the left toe of the foot, you know what I'm saying. So being able wherever you walk, you are walking with your ancestors, you know what I'm saying. So it's a definitely a literal thing when we say the ancestors walk with us. But the alter space is just a good physical communication spot between you and your people where you can be able to greet them in the morning and being able to say, this is the intentional place where I lay offerings, where I do prayer, but I'm also going to acknowledge you outside of back, you know what I'm saying, So it should be less of a super focus on the altar space and more so about creating intentional time with your people. You know what I'm saying, got it? And the also is just a reminder of that exactly. Definitely got it. Thank you for that. More from my conversation with the he may after the break. So you've already mentioned that, you know, there are no real books that people like. The tradition is more oral, right and so, but it feels like a lot of people are now getting this information through social media, right, Like you use your platform to share more in the interests of educating people. You know, we see people on TikTok and on Instagram kind of sharing these different things, and I would imagine that there are some benefits to the information being shared there, but I would also imagine there are some limitations. Right, So, can you talk a little bit about both the benefits and the limitations to people kind of learning about this information through social media. Yeah, So, I think the benefits is being able to demystify the tradition, being able to be like, Okay, this is something that is actually still being practiced now because you know, if you go into museums, you'll see Ifa and Norisia, like spiritual tools inside the museums, almost making it feel ancient, almost making it feel like tradition has left us, you know what I'm saying. But no, people are still venerating the Arisia's even on the continent. To this day, the people are still having festivals venerating the Resha's till the stay. It's still very active, still very alive, you know. And because EFA to me, is like the sentient living being that understands the cosmos and understands the world, because that's what IFA is. It represents being able to see and recognize the wisdom of the entire universe within this algorithm code which is very mathematical, but IFA being able to be so aware it knows that the next move is going to be on the Internet. I always make the joke with my friends, my FA friends would be like, oh, EFA is on WiFi now, because if I understands, you know, like the EASU is on wifile because the way that it's going to see like okay. People are wanting answers, especially during the pandemic, especially when we were initially in the pandemic last year and everyone was just like so what now, And people have the space and the ability to be like, you know what, my faith is changing when I'm believing is changing and I'm looking for information to connect me back to myself, and then i FA pops up like okay, so let's go on the internet. Now, let's educate the people in this way. IFA is traditional. But what I also want people to understand it it's traditional doesn't always mean stagnant in time. It can be updating, it can flow, it can be adjusted, especially by the people who are holding the tradition. You know that they are going to be the people responsible in updating, being to making things more combinating for everyone. Because what EFA doesn't like us to do is to be soap boxed preachers and trying to convert people into the IFA ary tradition and the old you. It says to not convert. You don't need to convert anyone to IFA. You just need to talk about IFA. Therisa always says, as much as you talk about you FA, Theresia will bless you because you're talking about them, You're bragging on them. Very Nigerian thing to know. Okay, be a little bit arrogant with the you know what I'm saying, Um, But right, And it's just so fun to me to talk about it because though Ifa and Racha something that's outside of their own culture and what they grew up in, and to be able to think differently. Because EFA tradition relies on self actualization, the ability to change yourself, IFA relies on self accountability. In order for you can to see blessings in your life, you must change. The most important sacrifice that you can give is your character. You know what I'm saying. It doesn't matter how many you know offerings you relate to the arisha. If your own behavior does not alter, it's gonna be hard for you to see you beginning to see change happening in your life, you know what I'm saying. So being able to have that accountability, being able to be like, okay, maybe I'm the problem here and changing that is what I love the most about EFA because you really cannot blame anybody but yourself. That's why the most powerful arisia is the o Read, which is your higher self living within your head. It is the most powerful arisia being able to overpower them, all of them combined. You know. So, if your own o Read does not want you to do something it's gonna be hard for you to accomplish those tasks. So what they always say before you go to the arisha, you must always go to your own read first. You know what I'm saying. The Creator gave you your o read to be godener, to be able to go to things and make you feel good that resonate with your spirit. Which is why not everyone needs to practice the found Recia tradition because they already have their own own and their own OVA can be enough. You know. I guess the good facts of sharing online is it doesn't always reach the right people. Not everyone wants to learn. You know. Um, we are still battling even in tradition and being able to pull away, you know, ourselves from people who you know Christian background saying that rhythemonic or that we are venerating things that our demons or the devil, etcetera. Like. Even the most dynamic Arisia in the evil tradition called issue issue is the messenger between two worlds. He is probably one of the most important arisia's and his name translates to the devil because of missionaries and their Christianic and influence and their colonialism over Nigeria. So there are priests and the continent trying to rip away the sercious tie to you know, and the demonic influences. But I just feel like that's the hugest thing, that's the most biggest thing, is being able to be like, being able to tell people that things that they don't understand. You don't need to connect that to something evil, You don't need to connect that to something demonic. Education is the most important thing. Being able to be educated, being able to understand someone before you say something, you know, before you even curse. What your ancestors came from. You know, our ancestor traditionally weren't practicing you know, Christianity or Islam. They're practicing their traditional beliefs. And being able to hold space for that, especially the people that come from that, is I think the most important thing. Having integrity there, you know, mm hmm. That's a perfect kind of segue to my next question, which is do you think that the practice of you know, more African traditional religions can coexist with someone also practicing like Christianity or Islam. Yes, definitely, because there's a difference between you know, doing EFA and no recial work and being initiated in the traditions. There's many old dudes, many verses within EFA about how the king who practice Islam will go to the priest and get work done. You know what I'm saying. Those things can co exist simultaneously if people allow them to co exist simultaneously. You know what I'm saying, Like the it's the word of Ifa does not go against Christianity or Islam and any means. It's people, you know, that the side, whether they want to be to get something or not. So even like the divination of the year that was conducted for the entire world, In said that it's very important for everyone to live and harmony with the religion and to not discriminate against people who are of different religious backgrounds, you know, mm hmmmmmmm. So can you tell me more about the distinction between doing the work he said of eva Asia and initiated. What what does that mean? So when I say Ifa no racial work, I mean like, let's say you are seeking a divination from a priest. So you'll go to the priest house, You'll sit on the priest floor, and the priest will do a Kenifa, You'll do divination for you and what the priest tells you, like, oh, you need to do ebo, which is sacrifice. We need to sacrifice certain things, which could be certain you know, animals, or it can be a certain character behavior traits, or it could be warning you of something that is doing ifa racial work. Because you're taking the prescriptions, that's what's being given to you. If is like it's like going to the doctor, it's gonna be literally a medical doctor, because that's what a priest is, being able to see your spiritual health and how to give you good health. You know what I'm saying, good health and your money and your love life and your achievements and your destiny to keep you aligned. But he's also going to offer you medication, which is your prescriptions what you should be doing. Maybe you should change your behavior. Maybe you should not be drinking liquor for the next sixteen days. Maybe you should do sacrifice for with all this you know, animal materials to give you good health on your path. That's spiritual work. That's efile work. Anyone can do efile work. But to become the priest that tells what the client is doing, that's what an initiative is going to be doing. You know what I'm saying. One that is actually doing the work, that's you know, studying under the elder, that's learning all the philosophy, is gonna be the initiate. Got it, okay? And so what do you see people who are like new in the practice of some of this work, like what are you the common things that you kind of see come up for people when they are new kind of practicing as work. I think the most common thing that I get from people who are interested in the work is which Arisia guards my head? I get that question a lot, and it's very interesting for me personally. I have to give the most thorough response to that question because it's not just the simplest or no or simple small question to me, because it's a whole lifestyle change. Really, because when you ask me, when you reach it guards your head. What I'm going to tell you is all of them guard your head because the Arisha, the purpose of the Arisha is to assist humanity. So they're all going to be working in your life in individual ways because that's what the role is on this earth. And it's less about the concept of being a child of Arisia and more so about what are you going to do with with that information, you know, because it doesn't really help you to know that answer without saying that you want to be a devotee or to be an initiate, because that's the only way you're going to be able to use and utilize that wisdom. A priest and elder once told me that the you know, yes, you can find the arecia's nature, but to understand the wisdom and how the racial works is going to be within their priest because when the initiate gets initiated into the Aricia, they become that Arasia on earth. They hold all of the wisdom of the philosophies of the Aracia within their body. So it's more so more serious to me, I guess when we want to know that, because it's nothing like astrology or being able to be like my son is in Taurists or my moon is a Acquarius, for example. It's more so it's a religious thing, you know, it's a very serious thing. It's also very more abstract because on the continent you can be connected to the ratio because of your lineage or because of the work that you do, like maybe you are a blacksmith, so you're going to get initiated into a boom, you know what I'm saying to help with that work, so definitely is more of a larger answer than what people are kind of expecting, which is something simple like to even find out, you know, the Arisha that is aligned with your destiny, that is connected to you, that rose up when you're going to be incarnated on earth, is going to be through rights, like true initiation. Rights, things that kind of devote you to the tradition because if you get it from like divination, divination is highlighting your energy at this moment, which Arisha is assisting you at this moment. It's not something that is always current or stuck in time. I can change to any moment. But when you do rights, then you're getting into something that's a little bit more permanent. Does that make sense? Like something that when I received my hand to be fought, which is like a step down from initiation, it picked up on Shango, and it was Shango who was with me this entire time, even though I had many divinations as different thesis throughout my journey before I got like devoted connection with the fa You know what I'm saying, more from my conversation with the he mad after the break. So I'm wondering, you know, just like we have seen more information about, you know, people sharing this kind of stuff on social media, and we've also seen i think an increase in like people sharing about African traditional religions in pop culture. So you know, one of the biggest ones I think was probably Beyonce Eliminade, right, And I'm just wondering your thoughts about like sharing that in pop culture. Do you feel like that helps to kind of promote the messages or do you feel like that's a hindrance. I feel like the recis are very smart. They do what they think is going to be best for people to talk about them because they like when people talk about them. And o Show definitely enjoys what people have to talk about her. So she's like, yeah, of cause yes, Lemonade, Beyonce and me. You know, she loves that. And I feel like you cannot especially you know, being in the tradition, you cannot curse how somebody finds it. Faugh, That's not my job. I'm not going to demonizes or even hold up my nose the way that you found Erisha, because the way that you found Ratia is meek and sacred to your own destiny. And people should hold space for those who are exploring the alacial tradition because the Beyonce, because you know Beyonce that what she had to do, She's doing her purpose, you know what I'm saying. And you have the purpose of you know, being in this year to be kind, to have iwa Pellette, which is a good character to be able to be like, Okay, let me tell you what the truth is with the tradition, because now you're interested, you know, rather then turning people away. Just that's just my opinion anyway, you know. So you mean, do you see more African traditional religions as a safe space or kind of like a safe haven for people in the LGBTQ community who may have failed, isolated or ostracized by Christian communities or other kind of faith practices. Yes, so I feel like, yes, there's so much space open for people who are like me, who are queer and trying to find community, and it just spoils down to the elders and what they individual people, what they want to twist defied too. Ifa. There are no olders and Ifa that I know of that speak ill of people who are queer. There are so many arisias I know of who are queer, who are in our definition of queer, who are not aligned within gender identities, like a Locum or Malay man. Lay theercia that I am initiate into, there is different versions and different stories where wherever you go, they will be a different gender. You know what I'm saying, And that in of itself is queer to me. Shango Marisia was not for being a drogno looking to be able to be so beautiful that it kind of looked like a woman, that he would do his hairstyles in a way where it was deemed for a woman that you would put on that you paint his face, that he would cross stressed where it goes into battle. These are like these little implications to know that the Eresia sees everybody. Euresha accepts everybody because it was the Euresha that created everyone. You know what I'm saying very carefully and very selectively. And before we are born, we go through this process called oor re selection where we are picking out our destiny, where we are picking out who we want to be on Earth. And it's a heavy, heavy thing, a heavy process between the Arisha, yourself, and the Creator who are all working on your orea to make sure you become who you want to be on Earth. You're not going to be queer by mistake. You're going to be clear by purpose because your existence can help somebody, and it can also help elevate and move for the world's soul mission, which is to create peace, mutual reciprocity with everybody. You know what I'm saying. So it really is an intentional thing for people to be open, especially elders, to be open to everybody, because that is what they thought in the tradition is about mmmmmmmmmmm. And you tell the story earlier about you know, how your mom kind of taught you and your siblings, you know, more Christian practices as a way to kind of try to keep you safe. Right, Like, if if we talk about these kinds of things, you'll be even more ostracized. And I'm wondering if you have ideas about, like how we can talk to elders in our own families who may be, you know, concerned. If we're learning more about this, are starting to practice more of these things, what kinds of conversations might we be able to have with them? Bring up the stuff that they already do that is true the work, and they don't want to talk about, like Mom, why are you why do you never put your purse on the ground? Mama? Why are you always cooking this food on New Year's Day? What's what? Why don't you know? Why don't you want to let my brow mit your feet? You know what I'm saying. Those are the stuff, you know when we could say, you are already doing something spiritual, so let me do something spiritual with intention, you know, being able to be like this is what your life is walking and this is what I'm going to do with my life. And you just gotta have to understand. And even the most beautiful thing with ancestor generation is it will heal family ties, family wounds. It will make things easier, It will make conversations easier, especially when you tell your ancestors like I want to be honest with my family, but what I do I don't want to have to clean up the altar when the kaboa or anything like that. And your ancestors will literally create space for your mom to see your altars say saying like oh, what's that about streaking out or wanting to understand or even telling you stories of her own people, of her own grandparents that you can add to your own little you know, I always recommend having people like the little journal, just stories of their ancestors to keep with them family tree. It's really beneficial actually, so you can know which ancestor to call and you need something, but to have that and see how your own parents, how your own elders, would be helping building your own ancestral veneration practice. Because what EO tells us is is our grandparents are literally our connection to our ancestor. They are our first ancestors. Our parents are first risia. And to be able to understand how meaningful that is and how important that is on both ends, how the parents the elders should be understanding to have that title, to have that position in someone's life, which means you need to have that position with integrity, you know what I'm saying, and you're not able to abuse that position. It's something what EFA says how you should never go far away from your family, but your family should never push you there to begin with, you know, a mutual reciprocity practice in order for me to treat you like the elder. You must first show me that you are the elder that I need that I can treat you like that with you know, yeah, so you've already given us the you know, the kind of basics of building an altar you just mentioned, like a journaling kind of exercise, right, like a family journal of stories of family members. Are there other things that you feel like beginners might be it might be helpful for them to know about kind of learning more about this practice. Oh yes, so food offerings. Offerings are amazing, and offerings don't need to be so extra. I know when we talk about food offerings, we can feel like we need to cook like four course meal, what desserts, everything? And I don't recommend doing that all the time, Like maybe you can do that for a New Year's Day or for a particular ancestors birthday, but you can keep things basic. What the food offering represents. What offering represents, period is an energy transference because you're giving them energy so they can have the energy to provide you with whatever you need. You know what I'm saying. If they do not have the energy, it's going to be hard for them to give you things to help you with, things to assist you with things to even protect you. So you are providing an energy transfer when you're saying this is your cigar, this is your liquor, this is your flowers, and I'm giving you with prayer. Prayer is the most important thing because now you are empowering that object and what you're offering. Prayer is understanding that you are connected to the Creator, connected to the universe, and your words have the ashade the power to make anything happen in this world. So when we take prayer and we attach that to offering, which is the energy transfer, now you're empowering your lineage and giving them the energy they need to create change in your life, which is the most beautiful thing in my opinion. So in offering, don't ever move away from offering. Should always be laying offering because offerings can help you. And I've seen how offering from my own two eyes has cleared away so much things in my mind, and I will always have testimony for offering. Every day. You should be giving an offering or making an offering every day. I would recommend making an offering at least once a week to give energy for me. I do lay offerings every day. I lay offerings will never whatever food I'm laying, I will have give some of them to my ancestors so they are getting empowered. While I'm also not forgetting that because you know, I also have a d h D as well diagnosed, so it can be very hard being through a diverse and keeping up with those things. So finding out a schedule that works with you is what I recommend thems got it, got it? Any other tips for beginners. Keeping the altar clean is very important, making sure that you are not having any mold on the altar, that the water stays clear, that there's no incest cash on the altar space, because this helps you with you know, just a clear mind, but also clear communication issue as well, so you're avoiding spirits of confusion because a lot of things like to live in a messy place, negative energy likes live in a messy place, and negative energy and tricks or spirits it can be very common when you're keeping things in the clutter space. So not only keeping your alter clean, but also keeping your surrounding energy to your ulter clean as well. MM thank you for that. So many other resources that you find yourself suggesting for people who want to learn more and more kind of dive a little deeper into this topic. Are there things that you suggest for our audience. I definitely recommend social media because there's a lot of people out there who know what they're talking about, and I would love to shout them out a little bit if I kid um. Yeah, of course. So like a little Juju, she is an awesome person. She has a little Judu podcast. He talks a little bit more deep about nsentral veneration. So many people like myself and Eya the Asia. She has a Patreon which she talks about ifa usual tradition in addition to myself, what help. So there's so many people Yeah, if yow me on Twitter. She also speaks a little bit about each reach a tradition in the urbalist side of the tradition as well. And there's so many you know, a lot of people in that kind of spider web who would be really good people. You're looking just for a community space, the people that you trust too. Have you kind of move with integrity to start your path down this little rabbit hole, because once you get one information, they're like, now I want to know everything we got you, Okay, so tell us where we can find you. Please share your website as well social media handles you'd like to share, of course, so you can find me at a hem Aura dot com and on Instagram and Twitter under the same handle a heme Aura. I also have a Patreon which you can find me at patreon dot com forward slash a hem Aura, which I speak about Ifa and Arisia and Sasha, veneration and general holistic wellness. Perfect. Thank you so much for sharing with us today. You mean, I really appreciate so much. I really appreciate you for having me. Was awesome. Thank you. I'm so glad that he May was able to share her expertise with us today. To learn more about her and her work, or to check out the resources that she shared, visit the show notes at Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash session to sixteen, and don't forget to text two of your girls right now and tell them to check out the episode as well. If you're looking for a therapist in your area, be sure to check out our therapist directory at Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash directory. And if you want to continue digging into this topic or just be in community with other sisters, come on over and join us in the Sister Circle. It's our cozy corner of the Internet, design just for black women. You can join us at community dot therapy for black girls dot com. Thank you all so much for joining me again this week. I look forward to continue in this conversation with you all real soon. Take you care what
Speaker 1: M h. Welcome to the Therapy for Black Girls Podcast, a weekly conversation about mental health, personal development, and all the small decisions we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr Joy hard and Bradford, a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. For more information or to find a therapist in your area, visit our website at Therapy for Black Girls dot com. While I hope you love listening to and learning from the podcast, it is not meant to be a substitute for relationship with a licensed mental health professional. Hey y'all, thanks so much for joining me for a Session to six scene of the Therapy Feed for Black Girls Podcast. We'll get into the episode right after a word from our sponsors. In Session to ten, we talked with Dr Diane Stewart about the principles and themes that underlie many African traditional religions, and we promised to a part two of that conversation to learn more about the practice of these religions to help us dig into this topic. Today, I'm excited that we're joined by a he May. Aura. He May is a Nigerian words smith and priestess of the Ifa and Orisha tradition she has grounded in her purpose of reconnecting others back to themselves as an educator of African spirituality and holistic wellness. He May and I chatted about her personal journey to being a priestess, Where to start if you're a beginner in these practices, how technology and social media have made it easier to teach others about these traditions, and how practicing African traditional religions can work in tandem with Christianity, Islam and other faith practices. If there's something that resonates with you while enjoying our conversation, please share it with us on social media using the hashtag tv G in session. Here's our conversation. Well, thank you so much for joining yesterday, and he of course, thank you so much for having me. I really appreciate a huge fan Thank you. Thank you. Likewise, I wonder if you can start by just telling us a little bit more about who you are and how you got started in your practice. So my name is ahime Aura also known as Aola long name right if noial priestss. I'm initiated into the societies of Efa, Shango and man Lay. I am Nigeria and I was born in Nigeria in the Baden City. I immigrated to a small little town in Florida when I was around four years old. Even though I was disconnected from like my roots and my traditions, my mother was really the one responsible for keeping things alive for me. She would be the one telling me stories of our ancestors. She would be always the one telling me about Shana before who I even knew Shango was. I wasn't even pritty to that, like at a school night. She would always tell amazing stories and you know, Nigerian moms are very dramatic, so she would always be in the movement and the you know, the voice raise about this being sitting there like, oh my God, it's no amazing. So through her and through her being very deliberate and connecting me with our ancestors as we are kind of forced to assimilate as immigrants, I've been able to keep that connection as I grew into my spirituality organically, as I found my elders, as I was able to reach back. It was really through the help of my mother doing what she could, you know. So that's definitely the foundational part for me in my practice. Yeah, so when you say that your mother kind of kept those traditions alive through storytelling where they're like practices or spiritual practices that you grew up with kind of in your home or did you kind of discover that later in life. So, my mother is always very connected to her tradition, her group, her ethnic group that we come from the delta or very durable people, and she would always especially when it comes to like liquor, and my mom would always have liquor in her house because liquor, to her, it was attached to wealth in abundance. And even the way that we would offer liquor in our hoshold is something that is traditionally rooted to our ancestors. Like the youngest person would take the liquor and they would pass it around the party and the youngest person would be giving the liquor to the elder and then they would pour some out for the ancestors, which is what you know the diaspora does to brown went out for the homebase and everything. So that connection there is definitely what I kind of grew up in my mother. She wasn't spiritually blind, but she also was very aware of you know, you are already black and you're an immigrant, so also practicing indigenous spirituality will make you more targeted than anything else. So she definitely adopted Christianity, and she definitely grew us in a Christian home because to her being Christian in this new land that were all foreigns who meant to be able to survive, you know. So her ability to connect us through storytelling was her one way of being able to fight back against having to assimilate, against having to be in the suppressed state while raising us me and my brothers. Mmm, God, is that this was something that only as you got older did you recognize, like, wow, this storytelling is connected to something much bigger. M hmm. It was really the connection because my mom has a very strong voice, and she would always say when I was a child, I don't want to understand that, like she would always say, if I use my words to curse you, the ancestors will hear it. And only until as I've gotten older did I realize, Oh, my mom was saying so many things at once without one statement, you know. So, can you tell us a little bit about the differences between what we describe as like spiritual practice versus maybe an organized kind of a religion mm hm. So I think it's very easy to say that if is a spiritual tradition, which it is, that is kind of true, it is spirituality. But if a and the Arecia tradition is specified on culture, and it's specified and organized hierarchical religious practice. And I say this because we have things like the Iraq bag Bayo within the Ifa and the Recia tradition, which is the head priest of Ifa on earth and below him are sixteen chiefs. So you have these hierarchical practice already happening within the tradition as a whole to keep things going and to keep things more organized and disciplined. And below these people you have you know, certain chiefs or sort of Arabas and their own villages and their own tribal groups. So these things are kind of divided in order to keep things in order. Because when you have things like just you know, referencing New Aid spirituality, you get things to be, you know, in a way watered down. New Aid Spirituality. Although it is a very it's a platform. It's a place where a lot of people, especially black people, are able to connect to something outside of Christianity. New Aid spirituality also holds in almost simplifying traditional practices, traditional roots, traditional spirituality of indigenous cultures, and it kind of creates a lot of misinformation. And when you're being misinformed of things that are connected to something is massive astity reachier practice, you become very vulnerable, you know, to people who are not practicing the tradition with integrity, or even to certain things that you're not supposed to be doing, you know, because the lack of hierarchy, the ethon the Reacier tradition is something that is very much connected to eldership and mentorship. You would be surrounded by your elders in the compound helping them, being able to understand the religion and being able to understand all the philosophy and the culture in it because you're around it. Does that make sense? So it definitely is like a an apprenticeship that's happening, and why the e Fon Reracier tradition is able to survive while still being an oral religion. It's an oral religious practice. There are no books, you know what I'm saying. There are no books that are going to really be able to tell you the full potency of Ifa. And this is something that it kind of takes me back to this book called Socrates and Rumula by Sophia Lua lu I believe and she was um a Nigerian philosopher and she was so smart. Her books are so incredible. They open you to a different way of philosophy in a in a continental sense, right. And in that book she was saying, what's the difference between Socrates and Rumla because those two didn't write anything. Yet Socrates is considered to be the champion of philosophy, while you know, in Rumla he's the holder of the Ifa oracle, which is philosophy and wisdom. So too, they are two fathers of wisdom, yet one is seen as more credible when I talk to you know, oral culture or a wistuff right, make sense? You know. So it's a really interesting book and I definitely recommend that. Okay, okay, thank you for that. So, you know, I think, you know, we had a conversation with Dr Stewart recently on the podcast more about like the theory behind some of the African traditional religions, and it is something that a lot of people are interested in it. It sounds like, you know, you kind of got some of this, you know, kind of through your mother and kind of growing up with that storytelling. But I think a lot of people just feel really confused as to where to start. How do I know, you know, like which traditions feel that like the best alignment for me? So can you give some tips for people who like, maybe you're figuring out like, Okay, I want to maybe start learning more about this, but do I know if it's ifa, a risha or something else? Like where do people get started? Um? I always recommend that people get started back to their roots where they come from and social reveneration. It's the foundation of all diasporic and continental spiritual practices. Without your ancestors, you're not going to be able to have the foundation needed to be able to work with other spirits. You'll be even more in a vulnerable position because you don't even know if your ancestors want you to practice certain things, if these things are even aligned with your destiny. You know what I'm saying. Um, As an Efondersia priest, There's so many people who come across me who I can tell that their ancestors don't want them to press the Fonderia, but using platforms, are using you know, the connection with African spirituality. It's being able to guide them into okay, maybe who do would be beneficial for you? Or Haitian you doom and things like that. But that's how you're going to be able to really be able to understand. It's through and such a veneration and working back with your ancestors the altar space, which is really the foundational connection between you and your ancestors and the physical space residing in your home, so they're able to protect you in your space and to be able to grow with you. And it doesn't need to be the most extra dramatic things. Starting out simple candle, simple water, you know, a nice little white blanket. That's it. That's all you really need to do to start to grow your connection with your ancestors and being able to understand that your ancestors are not gonna be communicating in the same way as somebody else. Maybe other people can hear or see them, but maybe you can have all these intense streams with them. You are in the dream world and you're connecting with them in that way, or maybe they're showing you simples you maybe the bird that you see outside is them. There are ways that you're gonna be able to be like those are my people, you know what I'm saying, And it's gonna be a unique and it's gonna be even the most refreshing thing because the ancestors go with you wherever you go. So even if they don't want you to go with efa like if you attend to walking them that they can't just be like okay, where this connected? Now, you know what I'm saying. So it's so important to be in a group effort to be able to be like, okay, this is what benefits all of us, so you can see their work happening to you in real time, you know. So you mentioned that ancestral veneration is kind of like the basics, right, so that is building your own phone. You've already given us some very basic tips, you know, like a little bit table, white tableclothed, white towel, a candle. You mentioned something else, water couple, Yeah, a couple of water. Water is acting like a bridge between you of the spiritual world. So it's gonna really act as a purifier, so it's not necessarily like a drink offering. You can get the water if you want to, but the water is gonna be like a telephone, like making things are clear as possible for you to the other side. So when the fire is representing passion, the heart, the strength, being able to have your ancestors see you here, you feel you in a way where it's heavy, it kind of gives them almost like the heart of the fire the spark for the altar space, and the white it's just giving cleanliness, purity, It connects us to you know, for an example of Atla whose eurisha of white cloth, being able to have spiritual tranquility, serenity, and being able to not feel so absorbed by a lot of the spiritual heaviness that's happening because the altar space is going to be spiritually active when you're working with your ancestors. So starting out with something white and cloth would definitely be beneficial for the beginner mm hmmm. Yeah. And you know, and like some earth as well, you know, to keep things grounded into the earthly plane, which is like flowers or crystals or stones or anything that connects to you to Mother Earth. Okay, And so the purpose of setting up this altar in your home is really kind of just like opening this pathway to your ancestor so that there can be an establishing of that relationship, so that they do come to you either in dreams or messages or symbols or you know. It's kind of like letting the ancestors know I'm open to this, and to me, the altar space really is just a physical place where you're able to connect, like a communication spot between you and ancestors because they're already within, you know, and if I thought tells us that the ancestors reside in our body and particularly our feet, specifically the left toe of the foot, you know what I'm saying. So being able wherever you walk, you are walking with your ancestors, you know what I'm saying. So it's a definitely a literal thing when we say the ancestors walk with us. But the alter space is just a good physical communication spot between you and your people where you can be able to greet them in the morning and being able to say, this is the intentional place where I lay offerings, where I do prayer, but I'm also going to acknowledge you outside of back, you know what I'm saying, So it should be less of a super focus on the altar space and more so about creating intentional time with your people. You know what I'm saying, got it? And the also is just a reminder of that exactly. Definitely got it. Thank you for that. More from my conversation with the he may after the break. So you've already mentioned that, you know, there are no real books that people like. The tradition is more oral, right and so, but it feels like a lot of people are now getting this information through social media, right, Like you use your platform to share more in the interests of educating people. You know, we see people on TikTok and on Instagram kind of sharing these different things, and I would imagine that there are some benefits to the information being shared there, but I would also imagine there are some limitations. Right, So, can you talk a little bit about both the benefits and the limitations to people kind of learning about this information through social media. Yeah, So, I think the benefits is being able to demystify the tradition, being able to be like, Okay, this is something that is actually still being practiced now because you know, if you go into museums, you'll see Ifa and Norisia, like spiritual tools inside the museums, almost making it feel ancient, almost making it feel like tradition has left us, you know what I'm saying. But no, people are still venerating the Arisia's even on the continent. To this day, the people are still having festivals venerating the Resha's till the stay. It's still very active, still very alive, you know. And because EFA to me, is like the sentient living being that understands the cosmos and understands the world, because that's what IFA is. It represents being able to see and recognize the wisdom of the entire universe within this algorithm code which is very mathematical, but IFA being able to be so aware it knows that the next move is going to be on the Internet. I always make the joke with my friends, my FA friends would be like, oh, EFA is on WiFi now, because if I understands, you know, like the EASU is on wifile because the way that it's going to see like okay. People are wanting answers, especially during the pandemic, especially when we were initially in the pandemic last year and everyone was just like so what now, And people have the space and the ability to be like, you know what, my faith is changing when I'm believing is changing and I'm looking for information to connect me back to myself, and then i FA pops up like okay, so let's go on the internet. Now, let's educate the people in this way. IFA is traditional. But what I also want people to understand it it's traditional doesn't always mean stagnant in time. It can be updating, it can flow, it can be adjusted, especially by the people who are holding the tradition. You know that they are going to be the people responsible in updating, being to making things more combinating for everyone. Because what EFA doesn't like us to do is to be soap boxed preachers and trying to convert people into the IFA ary tradition and the old you. It says to not convert. You don't need to convert anyone to IFA. You just need to talk about IFA. Therisa always says, as much as you talk about you FA, Theresia will bless you because you're talking about them, You're bragging on them. Very Nigerian thing to know. Okay, be a little bit arrogant with the you know what I'm saying, Um, But right, And it's just so fun to me to talk about it because though Ifa and Racha something that's outside of their own culture and what they grew up in, and to be able to think differently. Because EFA tradition relies on self actualization, the ability to change yourself, IFA relies on self accountability. In order for you can to see blessings in your life, you must change. The most important sacrifice that you can give is your character. You know what I'm saying. It doesn't matter how many you know offerings you relate to the arisha. If your own behavior does not alter, it's gonna be hard for you to see you beginning to see change happening in your life, you know what I'm saying. So being able to have that accountability, being able to be like, okay, maybe I'm the problem here and changing that is what I love the most about EFA because you really cannot blame anybody but yourself. That's why the most powerful arisia is the o Read, which is your higher self living within your head. It is the most powerful arisia being able to overpower them, all of them combined. You know. So, if your own o Read does not want you to do something it's gonna be hard for you to accomplish those tasks. So what they always say before you go to the arisha, you must always go to your own read first. You know what I'm saying. The Creator gave you your o read to be godener, to be able to go to things and make you feel good that resonate with your spirit. Which is why not everyone needs to practice the found Recia tradition because they already have their own own and their own OVA can be enough. You know. I guess the good facts of sharing online is it doesn't always reach the right people. Not everyone wants to learn. You know. Um, we are still battling even in tradition and being able to pull away, you know, ourselves from people who you know Christian background saying that rhythemonic or that we are venerating things that our demons or the devil, etcetera. Like. Even the most dynamic Arisia in the evil tradition called issue issue is the messenger between two worlds. He is probably one of the most important arisia's and his name translates to the devil because of missionaries and their Christianic and influence and their colonialism over Nigeria. So there are priests and the continent trying to rip away the sercious tie to you know, and the demonic influences. But I just feel like that's the hugest thing, that's the most biggest thing, is being able to be like, being able to tell people that things that they don't understand. You don't need to connect that to something evil, You don't need to connect that to something demonic. Education is the most important thing. Being able to be educated, being able to understand someone before you say something, you know, before you even curse. What your ancestors came from. You know, our ancestor traditionally weren't practicing you know, Christianity or Islam. They're practicing their traditional beliefs. And being able to hold space for that, especially the people that come from that, is I think the most important thing. Having integrity there, you know, mm hmm. That's a perfect kind of segue to my next question, which is do you think that the practice of you know, more African traditional religions can coexist with someone also practicing like Christianity or Islam. Yes, definitely, because there's a difference between you know, doing EFA and no recial work and being initiated in the traditions. There's many old dudes, many verses within EFA about how the king who practice Islam will go to the priest and get work done. You know what I'm saying. Those things can co exist simultaneously if people allow them to co exist simultaneously. You know what I'm saying, Like the it's the word of Ifa does not go against Christianity or Islam and any means. It's people, you know, that the side, whether they want to be to get something or not. So even like the divination of the year that was conducted for the entire world, In said that it's very important for everyone to live and harmony with the religion and to not discriminate against people who are of different religious backgrounds, you know, mm hmmmmmmm. So can you tell me more about the distinction between doing the work he said of eva Asia and initiated. What what does that mean? So when I say Ifa no racial work, I mean like, let's say you are seeking a divination from a priest. So you'll go to the priest house, You'll sit on the priest floor, and the priest will do a Kenifa, You'll do divination for you and what the priest tells you, like, oh, you need to do ebo, which is sacrifice. We need to sacrifice certain things, which could be certain you know, animals, or it can be a certain character behavior traits, or it could be warning you of something that is doing ifa racial work. Because you're taking the prescriptions, that's what's being given to you. If is like it's like going to the doctor, it's gonna be literally a medical doctor, because that's what a priest is, being able to see your spiritual health and how to give you good health. You know what I'm saying, good health and your money and your love life and your achievements and your destiny to keep you aligned. But he's also going to offer you medication, which is your prescriptions what you should be doing. Maybe you should change your behavior. Maybe you should not be drinking liquor for the next sixteen days. Maybe you should do sacrifice for with all this you know, animal materials to give you good health on your path. That's spiritual work. That's efile work. Anyone can do efile work. But to become the priest that tells what the client is doing, that's what an initiative is going to be doing. You know what I'm saying. One that is actually doing the work, that's you know, studying under the elder, that's learning all the philosophy, is gonna be the initiate. Got it, okay? And so what do you see people who are like new in the practice of some of this work, like what are you the common things that you kind of see come up for people when they are new kind of practicing as work. I think the most common thing that I get from people who are interested in the work is which Arisia guards my head? I get that question a lot, and it's very interesting for me personally. I have to give the most thorough response to that question because it's not just the simplest or no or simple small question to me, because it's a whole lifestyle change. Really, because when you ask me, when you reach it guards your head. What I'm going to tell you is all of them guard your head because the Arisha, the purpose of the Arisha is to assist humanity. So they're all going to be working in your life in individual ways because that's what the role is on this earth. And it's less about the concept of being a child of Arisia and more so about what are you going to do with with that information, you know, because it doesn't really help you to know that answer without saying that you want to be a devotee or to be an initiate, because that's the only way you're going to be able to use and utilize that wisdom. A priest and elder once told me that the you know, yes, you can find the arecia's nature, but to understand the wisdom and how the racial works is going to be within their priest because when the initiate gets initiated into the Aricia, they become that Arasia on earth. They hold all of the wisdom of the philosophies of the Aracia within their body. So it's more so more serious to me, I guess when we want to know that, because it's nothing like astrology or being able to be like my son is in Taurists or my moon is a Acquarius, for example. It's more so it's a religious thing, you know, it's a very serious thing. It's also very more abstract because on the continent you can be connected to the ratio because of your lineage or because of the work that you do, like maybe you are a blacksmith, so you're going to get initiated into a boom, you know what I'm saying to help with that work, so definitely is more of a larger answer than what people are kind of expecting, which is something simple like to even find out, you know, the Arisha that is aligned with your destiny, that is connected to you, that rose up when you're going to be incarnated on earth, is going to be through rights, like true initiation. Rights, things that kind of devote you to the tradition because if you get it from like divination, divination is highlighting your energy at this moment, which Arisha is assisting you at this moment. It's not something that is always current or stuck in time. I can change to any moment. But when you do rights, then you're getting into something that's a little bit more permanent. Does that make sense? Like something that when I received my hand to be fought, which is like a step down from initiation, it picked up on Shango, and it was Shango who was with me this entire time, even though I had many divinations as different thesis throughout my journey before I got like devoted connection with the fa You know what I'm saying, more from my conversation with the he mad after the break. So I'm wondering, you know, just like we have seen more information about, you know, people sharing this kind of stuff on social media, and we've also seen i think an increase in like people sharing about African traditional religions in pop culture. So you know, one of the biggest ones I think was probably Beyonce Eliminade, right, And I'm just wondering your thoughts about like sharing that in pop culture. Do you feel like that helps to kind of promote the messages or do you feel like that's a hindrance. I feel like the recis are very smart. They do what they think is going to be best for people to talk about them because they like when people talk about them. And o Show definitely enjoys what people have to talk about her. So she's like, yeah, of cause yes, Lemonade, Beyonce and me. You know, she loves that. And I feel like you cannot especially you know, being in the tradition, you cannot curse how somebody finds it. Faugh, That's not my job. I'm not going to demonizes or even hold up my nose the way that you found Erisha, because the way that you found Ratia is meek and sacred to your own destiny. And people should hold space for those who are exploring the alacial tradition because the Beyonce, because you know Beyonce that what she had to do, She's doing her purpose, you know what I'm saying. And you have the purpose of you know, being in this year to be kind, to have iwa Pellette, which is a good character to be able to be like, Okay, let me tell you what the truth is with the tradition, because now you're interested, you know, rather then turning people away. Just that's just my opinion anyway, you know. So you mean, do you see more African traditional religions as a safe space or kind of like a safe haven for people in the LGBTQ community who may have failed, isolated or ostracized by Christian communities or other kind of faith practices. Yes, so I feel like, yes, there's so much space open for people who are like me, who are queer and trying to find community, and it just spoils down to the elders and what they individual people, what they want to twist defied too. Ifa. There are no olders and Ifa that I know of that speak ill of people who are queer. There are so many arisias I know of who are queer, who are in our definition of queer, who are not aligned within gender identities, like a Locum or Malay man. Lay theercia that I am initiate into, there is different versions and different stories where wherever you go, they will be a different gender. You know what I'm saying, And that in of itself is queer to me. Shango Marisia was not for being a drogno looking to be able to be so beautiful that it kind of looked like a woman, that he would do his hairstyles in a way where it was deemed for a woman that you would put on that you paint his face, that he would cross stressed where it goes into battle. These are like these little implications to know that the Eresia sees everybody. Euresha accepts everybody because it was the Euresha that created everyone. You know what I'm saying very carefully and very selectively. And before we are born, we go through this process called oor re selection where we are picking out our destiny, where we are picking out who we want to be on Earth. And it's a heavy, heavy thing, a heavy process between the Arisha, yourself, and the Creator who are all working on your orea to make sure you become who you want to be on Earth. You're not going to be queer by mistake. You're going to be clear by purpose because your existence can help somebody, and it can also help elevate and move for the world's soul mission, which is to create peace, mutual reciprocity with everybody. You know what I'm saying. So it really is an intentional thing for people to be open, especially elders, to be open to everybody, because that is what they thought in the tradition is about mmmmmmmmmmm. And you tell the story earlier about you know, how your mom kind of taught you and your siblings, you know, more Christian practices as a way to kind of try to keep you safe. Right, Like, if if we talk about these kinds of things, you'll be even more ostracized. And I'm wondering if you have ideas about, like how we can talk to elders in our own families who may be, you know, concerned. If we're learning more about this, are starting to practice more of these things, what kinds of conversations might we be able to have with them? Bring up the stuff that they already do that is true the work, and they don't want to talk about, like Mom, why are you why do you never put your purse on the ground? Mama? Why are you always cooking this food on New Year's Day? What's what? Why don't you know? Why don't you want to let my brow mit your feet? You know what I'm saying. Those are the stuff, you know when we could say, you are already doing something spiritual, so let me do something spiritual with intention, you know, being able to be like this is what your life is walking and this is what I'm going to do with my life. And you just gotta have to understand. And even the most beautiful thing with ancestor generation is it will heal family ties, family wounds. It will make things easier, It will make conversations easier, especially when you tell your ancestors like I want to be honest with my family, but what I do I don't want to have to clean up the altar when the kaboa or anything like that. And your ancestors will literally create space for your mom to see your altars say saying like oh, what's that about streaking out or wanting to understand or even telling you stories of her own people, of her own grandparents that you can add to your own little you know, I always recommend having people like the little journal, just stories of their ancestors to keep with them family tree. It's really beneficial actually, so you can know which ancestor to call and you need something, but to have that and see how your own parents, how your own elders, would be helping building your own ancestral veneration practice. Because what EO tells us is is our grandparents are literally our connection to our ancestor. They are our first ancestors. Our parents are first risia. And to be able to understand how meaningful that is and how important that is on both ends, how the parents the elders should be understanding to have that title, to have that position in someone's life, which means you need to have that position with integrity, you know what I'm saying, and you're not able to abuse that position. It's something what EFA says how you should never go far away from your family, but your family should never push you there to begin with, you know, a mutual reciprocity practice in order for me to treat you like the elder. You must first show me that you are the elder that I need that I can treat you like that with you know, yeah, so you've already given us the you know, the kind of basics of building an altar you just mentioned, like a journaling kind of exercise, right, like a family journal of stories of family members. Are there other things that you feel like beginners might be it might be helpful for them to know about kind of learning more about this practice. Oh yes, so food offerings. Offerings are amazing, and offerings don't need to be so extra. I know when we talk about food offerings, we can feel like we need to cook like four course meal, what desserts, everything? And I don't recommend doing that all the time, Like maybe you can do that for a New Year's Day or for a particular ancestors birthday, but you can keep things basic. What the food offering represents. What offering represents, period is an energy transference because you're giving them energy so they can have the energy to provide you with whatever you need. You know what I'm saying. If they do not have the energy, it's going to be hard for them to give you things to help you with, things to assist you with things to even protect you. So you are providing an energy transfer when you're saying this is your cigar, this is your liquor, this is your flowers, and I'm giving you with prayer. Prayer is the most important thing because now you are empowering that object and what you're offering. Prayer is understanding that you are connected to the Creator, connected to the universe, and your words have the ashade the power to make anything happen in this world. So when we take prayer and we attach that to offering, which is the energy transfer, now you're empowering your lineage and giving them the energy they need to create change in your life, which is the most beautiful thing in my opinion. So in offering, don't ever move away from offering. Should always be laying offering because offerings can help you. And I've seen how offering from my own two eyes has cleared away so much things in my mind, and I will always have testimony for offering. Every day. You should be giving an offering or making an offering every day. I would recommend making an offering at least once a week to give energy for me. I do lay offerings every day. I lay offerings will never whatever food I'm laying, I will have give some of them to my ancestors so they are getting empowered. While I'm also not forgetting that because you know, I also have a d h D as well diagnosed, so it can be very hard being through a diverse and keeping up with those things. So finding out a schedule that works with you is what I recommend thems got it, got it? Any other tips for beginners. Keeping the altar clean is very important, making sure that you are not having any mold on the altar, that the water stays clear, that there's no incest cash on the altar space, because this helps you with you know, just a clear mind, but also clear communication issue as well, so you're avoiding spirits of confusion because a lot of things like to live in a messy place, negative energy likes live in a messy place, and negative energy and tricks or spirits it can be very common when you're keeping things in the clutter space. So not only keeping your alter clean, but also keeping your surrounding energy to your ulter clean as well. MM thank you for that. So many other resources that you find yourself suggesting for people who want to learn more and more kind of dive a little deeper into this topic. Are there things that you suggest for our audience. I definitely recommend social media because there's a lot of people out there who know what they're talking about, and I would love to shout them out a little bit if I kid um. Yeah, of course. So like a little Juju, she is an awesome person. She has a little Judu podcast. He talks a little bit more deep about nsentral veneration. So many people like myself and Eya the Asia. She has a Patreon which she talks about ifa usual tradition in addition to myself, what help. So there's so many people Yeah, if yow me on Twitter. She also speaks a little bit about each reach a tradition in the urbalist side of the tradition as well. And there's so many you know, a lot of people in that kind of spider web who would be really good people. You're looking just for a community space, the people that you trust too. Have you kind of move with integrity to start your path down this little rabbit hole, because once you get one information, they're like, now I want to know everything we got you, Okay, so tell us where we can find you. Please share your website as well social media handles you'd like to share, of course, so you can find me at a hem Aura dot com and on Instagram and Twitter under the same handle a heme Aura. I also have a Patreon which you can find me at patreon dot com forward slash a hem Aura, which I speak about Ifa and Arisia and Sasha, veneration and general holistic wellness. Perfect. Thank you so much for sharing with us today. You mean, I really appreciate so much. I really appreciate you for having me. Was awesome. Thank you. I'm so glad that he May was able to share her expertise with us today. To learn more about her and her work, or to check out the resources that she shared, visit the show notes at Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash session to sixteen, and don't forget to text two of your girls right now and tell them to check out the episode as well. If you're looking for a therapist in your area, be sure to check out our therapist directory at Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash directory. And if you want to continue digging into this topic or just be in community with other sisters, come on over and join us in the Sister Circle. It's our cozy corner of the Internet, design just for black women. You can join us at community dot therapy for black girls dot com. Thank you all so much for joining me again this week. I look forward to continue in this conversation with you all real soon. Take you care what
