TENTANG EPISODE INI
Success can be a drug, especially if you’ve lived through addiction, people-pleasing, or the kind of hustle that turns your nervous system into a constant alarm. We sit down with Ricky Rebel and get painfully honest about the moment success starts to mean “money, period” and the moment that belief collapses into a deeper question: if you’re already talented and loved, why does chasing the next milestone still feel like survival?
We talk about the difference between success and fulfillment, and why external markers like cash, status, followers, and “being seen” can hijack your self-worth. You’ll hear how we handle the perfectionist voice when goals feel far away, what gratitude actually does for mindset and emotional regulation, and why an existential view of life’s absurdity can restore perspective instead of making you numb. We also dig into the real-world friction: discipline and structure can create financial freedom, but if it crushes your spirit, it can also poison everything you’re building.
Then we bring it back to action and creativity: somatic dance as body-based healing, workshops that blend movement and meaning, Vegas shows, DJ sets, and an upcoming album that uses auto-tune as an artistic choice while still telling the truth emotionally. If you’re chasing big dreams, building a wellness business, navigating sobriety, or redefining work-life balance, this conversation gives you language and tools to hold the “both-and.”
Subscribe for more, share this with a friend who’s chasing goals without peace, and leave a review telling us: what does success mean to you right now?
To book a FREE discovery call with Dr. Harte, click the link below:
https://calendly.com/drharte/free-discovery-call-w-dr-harte
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TAMPILKAN CATATAN 🔗
TRANSKRIP 🔗
00:00:14.800 --> 00:00:16.960
Welcome back everybody to the truth about addiction.
00:00:17.120 --> 00:00:24.800
I'm not even gonna pretend like I feel serious right now because if I do one thing, I think you guys will guess who the guest is.
00:00:24.960 --> 00:00:34.240
I just don't know if I'm gonna get the sound out without laughing, which is okay.
00:00:34.399 --> 00:00:36.880
So maybe that's just too much of an inside joke.
00:00:39.039 --> 00:00:43.439
Ricky Rebel is back in our good graces.
00:00:43.920 --> 00:00:48.719
And he was just making that sound, which by the way is a total vocal warmup.
00:00:48.880 --> 00:00:49.039
Yeah.
00:00:49.280 --> 00:01:01.119
Ever since I met him, at the most random and sometimes awkward times, he would just start strumming his lips together and doing a vocal warm-up.
00:01:01.280 --> 00:01:04.879
And I just said before the show, I think that's a nervous tick.
00:01:05.040 --> 00:01:06.480
And you said, I think it is.
00:01:07.599 --> 00:01:09.920
I'll be waiting before you go on the red carpet.
00:01:10.000 --> 00:01:19.439
I'm like, This guy, once I was like, can you stop doing that?
00:01:20.079 --> 00:01:20.480
Really?
00:01:20.640 --> 00:01:21.920
You're making me nervous.
00:01:22.239 --> 00:01:22.879
Oh my god.
00:01:23.359 --> 00:01:26.799
It's it's it's you know, it's gonna make me nervous.
00:01:26.959 --> 00:01:28.879
I'm like, well, I'm nervous.
00:01:29.519 --> 00:01:31.120
What about my feelings?
00:01:31.280 --> 00:01:34.000
This this makes this calms me down too.
00:01:34.239 --> 00:01:35.920
So who wins in that one?
00:01:36.480 --> 00:01:38.640
Oh my god, that's hilarious.
00:01:38.799 --> 00:01:41.439
Just picturing with that happen on the red carpet.
00:01:41.680 --> 00:01:42.879
Yeah, like when you're waiting a lot.
00:01:43.200 --> 00:01:44.640
For an influencer.
00:01:45.120 --> 00:01:51.120
That is the most overheard in LA thing I think I've ever overheard in LA.
00:01:54.159 --> 00:02:08.319
Two divas all dressed up, having a slight heart attack because they might stay or do the right thing or not get photographed in their best angle, having an argument over who's disturbing whose peace.
00:02:08.479 --> 00:02:09.280
I mean, what?
00:02:09.360 --> 00:02:13.199
Where else in America would you hear something so ridiculous?
00:02:13.759 --> 00:02:22.400
Okay, and also, you guys, that is not at all what we're talking about today, but it's just something that happened right before we started to film live and it was too funny.
00:02:22.479 --> 00:02:24.159
I was like, who wins in that?
00:02:24.240 --> 00:02:25.599
Like, who wins in that?
00:02:25.759 --> 00:02:28.960
I think honestly, you want to play this game?
00:02:29.199 --> 00:02:32.159
I think that man is a grown-ass man.
00:02:32.240 --> 00:02:33.840
Like, handle your shit.
00:02:34.000 --> 00:02:35.599
Move to a new spot, handle your shit.
00:02:35.680 --> 00:02:36.800
I'm handle your shit.
00:02:36.960 --> 00:02:40.719
I mean if you are being if you are being really loud, doing it that'll be a little bit.
00:02:40.960 --> 00:02:46.560
I'm not loud, I'm like, I'm like, it's at me.
00:02:47.280 --> 00:02:48.639
Oh, you know why I do it too?
00:02:48.800 --> 00:02:49.919
To save my voice.
00:02:50.159 --> 00:02:50.719
I know, yeah.
00:02:50.879 --> 00:02:51.680
Because it's so loud.
00:02:51.840 --> 00:02:56.639
I know, I know in these places, and then it helps to like soften your lips so the lips are cute.
00:02:57.280 --> 00:02:59.280
But also, maybe I can make this work.
00:02:59.360 --> 00:03:06.400
You guys, here's how I'm gonna on the fly transition, transition what's happening on the way you're watching him.
00:03:08.240 --> 00:03:10.479
Wait, but this is perfect.
00:03:10.800 --> 00:03:12.800
He just made cheekbones, you guys.
00:03:12.960 --> 00:03:16.639
Listen, you don't need filler, you just need to do this technique that Ricky's doing.
00:03:16.800 --> 00:03:20.159
Okay, maybe this episode is gonna be very different than what we thought.
00:03:20.400 --> 00:03:23.199
But here's the intention of the episode.
00:03:23.360 --> 00:03:24.639
Here's the intention.
00:03:25.680 --> 00:03:27.680
We were gonna talk about success.
00:03:28.879 --> 00:03:34.560
And so, what better way to segue into success than to talk about a Hollywood red carpet?
00:03:34.719 --> 00:03:54.639
Hello! Okay, I don't know about you, but all these years into therapy and spiritual work and sobriety, I still very much struggle with this.
00:03:55.919 --> 00:04:08.159
And I am I am acutely aware of the difference between success and fulfillment, but the lines get blurred rather easily.
00:04:08.400 --> 00:04:25.680
And a mantra that I have to say all the time when I start to get spun up around where I am in my business life, how much money I am making or not making is God, whoever and whatever you are, right?
00:04:25.759 --> 00:04:31.360
I say that in the most non-denominational way because I believe in God, just a very spiritual God.
00:04:31.759 --> 00:04:35.920
God, please help me want everything that I want.
00:04:36.079 --> 00:04:50.319
So all these external markers of success, all the money, all the notoriety, all the impact that I want, please help me want what I want and need none of it.
00:04:52.000 --> 00:04:57.680
Because the only place I get into trouble is when I think I need it to be okay.
00:04:58.000 --> 00:04:58.560
Yeah.
00:04:59.279 --> 00:04:59.920
Yeah.
00:05:01.199 --> 00:05:04.319
So we're Sagittarians.
00:05:04.480 --> 00:05:05.920
Let's call us Bay as Bay.
00:05:06.079 --> 00:05:12.639
We we wanted it like a long time ago, you know, like we We wanted it lifetimes ago, it feels like.
00:05:12.959 --> 00:05:13.600
Yeah, lifetimes.
00:05:14.160 --> 00:05:15.360
We live life, yeah.
00:05:16.000 --> 00:05:19.600
Sagittarians want what they want a long time ago.
00:05:20.879 --> 00:05:22.000
So then long time.
00:05:22.560 --> 00:05:28.000
How do you first of all how do you define success?
00:05:30.560 --> 00:05:35.600
I I'm I'm super brutalist about it.
00:05:35.839 --> 00:05:37.439
I'm super brutalist.
00:05:38.160 --> 00:05:42.240
Um money is success.
00:05:44.079 --> 00:05:45.439
Yeah, money.
00:05:46.879 --> 00:05:48.879
My Capricorn is in Mars.
00:05:50.160 --> 00:05:51.120
What does that mean?
00:05:53.040 --> 00:05:57.839
The planet of um so Mars is the planet of ambition.
00:05:58.399 --> 00:05:58.720
Okay.
00:05:59.759 --> 00:06:12.319
So wherever whatever planet, astrologically speaking, whatever sign is in that that space is like what the success driver is, how you relate to success, how you want it.
00:06:12.480 --> 00:06:13.600
And I'm like Capricorn.
00:06:13.920 --> 00:06:16.879
Capricorns are notable shit.
00:06:19.360 --> 00:06:20.639
Like uh our girl.
00:06:22.079 --> 00:06:22.800
What's her name?
00:06:24.480 --> 00:06:24.639
Singer.
00:06:25.120 --> 00:06:25.680
Capricorn.
00:06:26.959 --> 00:06:27.920
Beautiful singer, right?
00:06:28.879 --> 00:06:30.000
She was very ambitious.
00:06:30.800 --> 00:06:31.759
We only have to say her name.
00:06:31.920 --> 00:06:32.000
Yeah.
00:06:32.240 --> 00:06:34.319
But she knows what she right, she knows what she wants.
00:06:34.399 --> 00:06:36.959
She tries not to let people take advantage of her.
00:06:37.279 --> 00:06:38.560
That's Capricorn energy.
00:06:38.639 --> 00:06:40.480
Like, I'm gonna get this done.
00:06:40.639 --> 00:06:46.480
And the bottom line is like money, money is very important to the Capricorn.
00:06:47.279 --> 00:06:52.160
Um, my Aunt Donna's a Capricorn, and she does like all the stocks, all the things, all the things.
00:06:52.240 --> 00:06:53.519
Why aren't you in Bitcoin?
00:06:53.680 --> 00:06:54.879
Why aren't you investing in this?
00:06:55.120 --> 00:06:57.439
Investing in that, Tesla, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.
00:06:58.079 --> 00:06:58.959
That's what they care about.
00:06:59.040 --> 00:07:06.959
So there's there's a part of me that is like that's what success means at the end of the day.
00:07:07.759 --> 00:07:10.800
Okay, and that's a very blunt part of me.
00:07:11.600 --> 00:07:15.040
But then there's a more spiritual side of me, right?
00:07:15.120 --> 00:07:31.680
Because I have an I I'm an Aries uh a Pisces rising, and I'm a Libra moon, and all these beautiful like beautiful elements about my sign and about who I am, and my the side of me that's like the the rising sign, like the the Pisces in me is like, oh that stuff doesn't mean shit.
00:07:31.759 --> 00:07:31.839
Okay.
00:07:32.079 --> 00:07:32.879
And you fucking know it.
00:07:32.959 --> 00:07:33.040
Okay.
00:07:33.279 --> 00:07:34.399
Because you're gonna die, bitch.
00:07:35.279 --> 00:07:36.319
You can't take that money with you.
00:07:36.480 --> 00:07:37.600
Nobody takes the money with you.
00:07:37.839 --> 00:07:41.279
Everyone is on an equal field because everyone's gonna die.
00:07:42.639 --> 00:07:44.240
No one's above anyone else.
00:07:47.040 --> 00:07:47.360
Right?
00:07:47.759 --> 00:07:54.399
Like happiness can be achieved in the Congo, but they have no money.
00:07:55.199 --> 00:07:59.680
Happiness fulfillment can be achieved in you know in a in a tribe like that.
00:08:00.720 --> 00:08:08.959
So there is like this like conflicting ideas of what it means to be a success in my mind.
00:08:09.360 --> 00:08:10.079
It's kind of hard.
00:08:10.319 --> 00:08:22.560
If you had to make a definition that included all the sides of you, yeah, then how would you define success?
00:08:24.959 --> 00:08:26.879
It's having your cake and eating it too.
00:08:30.160 --> 00:08:31.199
Elaborate.
00:08:32.240 --> 00:08:33.519
It's having it all.
00:08:34.000 --> 00:08:34.799
Having it all.
00:08:35.200 --> 00:08:36.000
Having everything.
00:08:36.320 --> 00:08:42.960
Success is like not only are, you know, a lot of rich and powerful people are miserable.
00:08:43.679 --> 00:08:44.639
That's not success.
00:08:45.120 --> 00:08:46.320
They failed at that.
00:08:47.360 --> 00:08:55.279
So it's having money, having power, and being happy and fulfilled and loving and receiving love.
00:08:56.080 --> 00:08:59.279
It's all the all the things all at the same time.
00:08:59.919 --> 00:09:01.360
And being able to balance it.
00:09:02.080 --> 00:09:03.360
How well can you balance that?
00:09:04.000 --> 00:09:07.919
How much of those things can you have at the same time?
00:09:11.759 --> 00:09:14.080
So not lose yourself and not go crazy.
00:09:14.480 --> 00:09:14.720
Yeah.
00:09:15.039 --> 00:09:20.720
Don't connier yourself or brainy yourself or or or lacerate yourself, right?
00:09:20.960 --> 00:09:31.039
So if you're in a season where this is like just a general human question, right?
00:09:31.120 --> 00:09:37.120
You're obviously on the pod, so it's going to be directed to you, but it's directed at me and it's directed to the audience member who's listening.
00:09:37.360 --> 00:09:54.879
But if you're in a season like I am right now, I have the measure of financial success in my mind, very vivid and clear, what I want to earn, what I want all of that to look like, what I want my days to be filled doing.
00:09:55.200 --> 00:09:58.799
And I'm super far from that goal.
00:09:59.360 --> 00:10:09.279
So when that is the reality, where the financial or external markers of success are far away from where you want them to be.
00:10:09.840 --> 00:10:14.240
But then that part of you that you described, the Capricorn, right?
00:10:14.399 --> 00:10:17.440
And for me, I could say from more of a therapeutic lens, right?
00:10:17.519 --> 00:10:19.200
The the perfectionist part.
00:10:19.519 --> 00:10:20.559
What's the matter with you?
00:10:20.639 --> 00:10:22.159
Why haven't you figured this out by now?
00:10:22.240 --> 00:10:23.039
You're 43 years old.
00:10:23.120 --> 00:10:24.000
What the fuck is wrong with you?
00:10:24.159 --> 00:10:40.399
Okay, whatever we want to call that, and all the factors, spiritual, mental, emotional, psychological, that are driving us to feel like we're in a state of lack, what do you do to confront that?
00:10:41.039 --> 00:10:48.639
When that part of you shows up and is like, bitch, you're not, you're not where you want to be.
00:10:48.879 --> 00:10:51.600
You're not sick, that's not successful.
00:10:52.799 --> 00:10:54.080
How do you handle that?
00:10:54.159 --> 00:10:59.919
What do you do in the face of that so that you don't start to feel like a worthless piece of shit?
00:11:00.159 --> 00:11:02.320
Because that's really what this is, right?
00:11:02.480 --> 00:11:17.440
Like we are trying to talk about finding success as best we can every 24 hours without it being wrapped up in our sense of identity and lovability and worthiness.
00:11:17.840 --> 00:11:21.039
I saw this really great YouTube video, and I wanted to share it with you.
00:11:21.120 --> 00:11:22.720
I probably can find it again.
00:11:22.799 --> 00:11:27.679
It's a philosophical, I've been watching a lot of philosophy.
00:11:28.399 --> 00:11:40.000
And I forget what type of uh philosophy this is, but it's basically that it might be existentialism, a branch of existentialism that life is very is absurd.
00:11:40.879 --> 00:11:42.320
It's completely absurd.
00:11:43.440 --> 00:11:45.279
Like we're talking from head to toe.
00:11:45.919 --> 00:11:46.559
Yeah, absurd.
00:11:47.440 --> 00:12:06.799
And when you think about it, like when the uh there was a time in the the the Greek Greek times when they when they there was like sayings like if you are working your life away, you're a slave.
00:12:09.440 --> 00:12:23.919
You've you've given away your time the most precious commodity to something, including your own work or including making money, whatever it is, like that's how you've lost yourself.
00:12:24.000 --> 00:12:25.919
Like that, you you have become a slave.
00:12:28.799 --> 00:12:37.600
So the idea, so sometimes the person who lives on the street who is living, you know, might be more successful than you, you know what I'm saying?
00:12:37.759 --> 00:12:39.519
Yeah in different ways.
00:12:40.000 --> 00:12:41.600
It's it's completely absurd.
00:12:41.759 --> 00:12:47.600
Like so if if I watch movies videos like that, it kind of brings me back into perspective of my life.
00:12:48.000 --> 00:12:58.240
And I started thinking about like, oh yeah, like those things are told to us that those are really important things by humanity.
00:12:59.360 --> 00:13:16.879
But like in reality, if we were like just little tribe people just hanging out and we didn't have money, like it would just be like that would be our lives, and that's a real, real life that you would have, and you wouldn't have anything else to kind of compare it to, but because we're comparing we're ruining the joy in the moment.
00:13:18.399 --> 00:13:34.399
So I watch videos like that to help me balance myself and and kind of get back to oh, I am grateful I live in a nice home, oh I am grateful I have a nice car, oh I'm grateful I have friends, oh I'm grateful I can sing, I can dance, and I I start counting my you know, blessings.
00:13:34.960 --> 00:13:43.600
And then the the big one that you and I do is like I'm grateful for all the things that I don't want that I don't get.
00:13:44.639 --> 00:13:57.519
All the diseases that exist on the you know, you open that big book that's like this big of a disease that you possibly could have, you know, ailments or limbs that could be lost, and vocal cords and eyeballs and shit that you have.
00:13:58.320 --> 00:14:03.840
So it's like that's how I kinda kind of get back into balance a little bit more.
00:14:04.399 --> 00:14:09.840
But there are times like Patrick has been saying, like, you've been I'm gonna be really blunt.
00:14:09.919 --> 00:14:14.399
It's like you've been on a um midlife crisis journey for like five years.
00:14:14.480 --> 00:14:16.480
So when is that gonna no five months?
00:14:17.519 --> 00:14:18.559
What does he mean by that?
00:14:19.039 --> 00:14:20.320
So when is that gonna stop?
00:14:20.559 --> 00:14:26.080
Or when when are you gonna get when are you just gonna buy that Corvette or you know what I'm saying?
00:14:28.639 --> 00:14:31.200
He notices he notices my demeanor.
00:14:31.679 --> 00:14:33.120
Sometimes I just get really quiet.
00:14:33.200 --> 00:14:36.159
Like after that show that I was telling you about, it didn't go the way I wanted.
00:14:36.240 --> 00:14:38.000
The numbers weren't there that I wanted.
00:14:38.159 --> 00:14:41.440
Yeah, and I just felt like okay, I don't think we can do this anymore.
00:14:41.600 --> 00:14:43.759
Like I just think we gotta hang it up.
00:14:44.639 --> 00:14:46.320
And I just got really insulated.
00:14:47.279 --> 00:14:49.759
Um what was your question?
00:14:50.559 --> 00:14:55.519
Well, I I was wondering about why Patrick said that.
00:14:55.759 --> 00:14:58.559
What has been the presentation in you?
00:14:59.440 --> 00:15:09.440
Is it this toggling between everything that you want and being attached to the outcome and then being in fulfillment and feeling like I am so grateful everything is fine the way it is?
00:15:09.600 --> 00:15:16.080
Is it that you've gone back and forth in in the last five months in a way where he's like, um, are you okay?
00:15:16.320 --> 00:15:17.919
Or or is it something else?
00:15:18.960 --> 00:15:24.240
I think he just knows knows me really well.
00:15:26.000 --> 00:15:28.240
He knows when I'm bullshitting.
00:15:28.720 --> 00:15:31.279
And that's why I I love him very much.
00:15:32.559 --> 00:15:36.240
Um and he knows when I flounder.
00:15:37.360 --> 00:15:42.559
So I'm floundering around sometimes aimlessly in the house, you know.
00:15:46.720 --> 00:15:52.639
Or I take too long to do like pribbing things and you know, just kind of floundering a little bit.
00:15:53.120 --> 00:16:09.919
You can I think you can see like, oh my mind's racing, I'm not really I mean, because my partner lives a very structured life, but the life that we should should should all be living like quote quotations, everybody who can't see this, who's just listening.
00:16:10.639 --> 00:16:16.559
Should be living like at this time we're gonna do this, this time we're gonna do this, this time we're gonna do this, this time we're gonna do this.
00:16:17.200 --> 00:16:23.279
And I I don't I'm so resistant to living a life like that.
00:16:24.080 --> 00:16:27.279
I just feel I just feel like a slave.
00:16:27.360 --> 00:16:30.639
Like I feel, I mean, I know that's what's gonna lead to freedom.
00:16:30.799 --> 00:16:36.879
That's what's gonna ultimately lead to this financial freedom we're talking about.
00:16:37.200 --> 00:16:38.480
Having more structure, you mean?
00:16:38.720 --> 00:16:46.000
Yeah, yeah, and being really disciplined about this time is for this, and this time is for this.
00:16:46.960 --> 00:16:48.000
You motherfucker.
00:16:48.240 --> 00:16:58.240
I love wait, this is so good because literally, in I've had a uh whatever we want to call this, I'm in the fun season of perimenopause.
00:16:58.320 --> 00:17:05.599
So sometimes there is just absolute hormonal chaos, and I think that's what this most recent dip of a mood was.
00:17:05.759 --> 00:17:11.200
But there were a few nights last week that were just a blubbering mess.
00:17:11.279 --> 00:17:17.359
And I literally haven't said this out loud about myself, I don't even know in over a decade.
00:17:17.759 --> 00:17:31.200
But I was talking to Rob, and we were talking about my business, and you know, he he says things like, I don't get it, like you're you're so smart already.
00:17:31.279 --> 00:17:33.519
That's a setup for me to feel like shit, okay?
00:17:33.920 --> 00:17:43.440
Me too! You're so smart, you're so smart, you did so well in school, but like with this business thing, you're just you're all over the place.
00:17:43.759 --> 00:17:52.799
See, okay, and I was like, I feel like a fucking failure.
00:17:53.279 --> 00:17:56.799
Literally, I was like, I I feel like a I am 43.
00:17:57.519 --> 00:18:04.960
I I am so smart, I'm so capable, I'm so talented, like, where are the cash and pri like where is it?
00:18:05.119 --> 00:18:06.480
Why does it look the way it does?
00:18:06.559 --> 00:18:07.920
Why is this so hard for me?
00:18:08.079 --> 00:18:18.240
And you know, one thing I said to Rob was like, well, first of all, honey, uh, school, they tell you exactly what to do to get an A.
00:18:18.640 --> 00:18:19.680
Tell me what to do.
00:18:19.759 --> 00:18:38.640
You want if someone wants to tell me exactly what to do to become a highly successful, well-paid public speaker and run a thriving wellness business and have high-ticket coaching clients that pay me an annual retainer because that's what I want my life to look like.
00:18:38.720 --> 00:18:39.519
I'm very clear.
00:18:39.759 --> 00:18:46.559
If there is an exact roadmap and you told me it would take 10 years, I would follow it until I got there.
00:18:46.720 --> 00:18:48.960
And I would be the best at following it.
00:18:49.200 --> 00:18:51.920
But I was like, Rob, there is no roadmap.
00:18:52.240 --> 00:19:07.680
And like you, Ricky, Sagittarian energy, whatever you want to call this, like the idea of just focusing on one thing until your eyeballs burst out of your head makes me want to die inside spiritually, right?
00:19:07.759 --> 00:19:22.960
And so, yeah, what is this balance of head down, hard at work, super focused, super disciplined, without feeling caged like a slave, like a prisoner of your own life?
00:19:23.119 --> 00:19:23.440
Yeah.
00:19:23.839 --> 00:19:49.599
And to be honest with you, like this year, this is the first year, maybe it maybe in my whole life, but certainly in a really long time, where I have had to resist the urge and temptation to run off to every single event, to be in every single room, to get all the pretty photographs and all the amazing footage, to make it appear as though I'm crushing it.
00:19:50.079 --> 00:19:58.319
Because I just kept outsourcing all my power when I was living that way, and I wasn't actually building.
00:19:58.559 --> 00:20:02.960
I wasn't building a book of business, I wasn't getting paid to go on stages.
00:20:03.039 --> 00:20:06.720
In fact, people were like, Yeah, you can speak on my panel, but it's also like$250.
00:20:07.039 --> 00:20:08.559
And I'm like, you know what?
00:20:09.359 --> 00:20:23.680
I have to stop the same way I've had to heal like codependent shit, where someone comes swooping into my life and they're sexy and fun and seductive, and they want they're obsessed with me, and then I'm obsessed with them, and then we have a huge fight and we never speak again.
00:20:23.920 --> 00:20:25.599
That's kind of what this reminds me of.
00:20:25.680 --> 00:20:31.920
It's like, what is the secure attachment version of me and my career?
00:20:32.079 --> 00:20:36.559
What is the version of no, I that the no is the new yes?
00:20:36.880 --> 00:20:50.640
I will only say yes when you are going to pay me, and I will pitch myself to thousands of speaking gigs until I actually get the yes that is aligned with my core values and my vision for my life.
00:20:50.880 --> 00:21:06.720
And what is the version of me building a wellness studio where, yeah, if I want this thing to grow, I have to go out into the world and let everybody know that I'm a goddamn beginner and I have this studio and I have a new client intro special, even though emotionally I'm so exhausted from all the work that I've done.
00:21:06.880 --> 00:21:09.440
And don't you know you should be paying me thousands of fucking dollars?
00:21:09.599 --> 00:21:11.039
I'm the best at what I do.
00:21:11.200 --> 00:21:12.640
No, they don't know that.
00:21:12.880 --> 00:21:14.319
They don't fucking know that.
00:21:14.480 --> 00:21:15.359
I know that.
00:21:15.680 --> 00:21:23.119
What am I willing to do to humble myself and to detach the emotional work I've done, which by the way, there are fruits of that labor.
00:21:23.279 --> 00:21:29.839
I have a beautiful marriage, I have healthy children, I'm a conscious mother, I've broken generational cycles of addiction and dysfunction.
00:21:29.920 --> 00:21:41.279
So there is evidence of all the hard work, but detach that part from the business goals and just stay head down in the work, focused enough.
00:21:42.000 --> 00:21:43.759
Because even now, I'm not doing just one thing.
00:21:43.920 --> 00:21:46.000
I want to be a speaker and have this wellness studio.
00:21:46.079 --> 00:21:49.359
That's two very hard goals to achieve at the same time.
00:21:49.599 --> 00:21:55.359
But I'm I'm trying for both, and no one's gonna put either of those fires out right now, and that's fine for me.
00:21:55.680 --> 00:21:59.759
But the arresting of the temptation.
00:22:00.559 --> 00:22:18.559
And the desire to just run off and play is so difficult because that part of us just wants to have fun right now and knows that life is ridiculous and that we're living inside of a matrix and nothing is real and it's all gonna end and it's borrowed time, right?
00:22:18.720 --> 00:22:36.079
And and what how are we balancing that and honoring the part of us that knows we are deeply talented and meant to serve and impact the world at large with our gifts and talents because both are true, and so there is a tending to both that has to happen at the same time.
00:22:36.319 --> 00:22:48.960
So I've I'm like so much less available than I was, I'm doing a lot less fun things than I was, and I'm like, this is what it's gonna take times however many years of doing it.
00:22:49.039 --> 00:22:52.160
I don't know how many that is, could be three, five, seven, ten.
00:22:53.519 --> 00:23:02.799
If I actually want to get to the end game that I say I so badly want and deserve, so hard.
00:23:03.119 --> 00:23:03.759
Yeah.
00:23:04.160 --> 00:23:12.160
And and as you were describing your reality and you know, your world, and I was like, this is so absurd.
00:23:13.519 --> 00:23:14.640
Which which part?
00:23:14.799 --> 00:23:15.680
Which part?
00:23:16.079 --> 00:23:18.079
The the sh the the striving?
00:23:18.319 --> 00:23:23.279
Yeah, you're already like I just see you as like successful, yeah.
00:23:24.160 --> 00:23:24.960
Isn't that so funny?
00:23:25.119 --> 00:23:25.680
And me too.
00:23:25.920 --> 00:23:26.720
Isn't that so funny?
00:23:26.960 --> 00:23:28.480
We're already the shit.
00:23:28.640 --> 00:23:30.720
It's just like it's just like the cat.
00:23:30.880 --> 00:23:31.759
It's just like Willow.
00:23:31.839 --> 00:23:37.519
Willow, like, imagine Willow, like, but daddy, I have to go over here and I really want to get this necklace and I have to work.
00:23:37.920 --> 00:23:39.279
And I'm not okay unless I do.
00:23:40.240 --> 00:23:43.440
I have to do this thing over here, daddy, to get this necklace so I can feel better.
00:23:43.920 --> 00:23:47.599
I'm like, baby, you're fucking willow, bitch.
00:23:47.920 --> 00:23:49.039
You're goddamn perfect.
00:23:49.200 --> 00:23:50.160
You're fucking perfect.
00:23:50.240 --> 00:23:52.799
Like, you're amazing, right?
00:23:52.960 --> 00:23:54.559
The cat is already.
00:23:55.119 --> 00:23:57.039
But imagine the cat if they had like goals like that.
00:23:57.119 --> 00:24:01.359
Like, well, I I'm not good unless I have the ring and I have the the crown.
00:24:01.519 --> 00:24:03.359
Yeah, I gotta get that crown.
00:24:03.599 --> 00:24:04.079
Yeah.
00:24:04.319 --> 00:24:06.160
But what's fascinating, right?
00:24:06.319 --> 00:24:09.599
That's your response to me as you're hearing me, right?
00:24:09.759 --> 00:24:10.160
Yeah.
00:24:10.400 --> 00:24:22.400
But the way we started this conversation, minus the way we started the serious part of the conversation.
00:24:22.640 --> 00:24:25.359
When I said, How do you define success?
00:24:25.680 --> 00:24:28.640
You completely led with money.
00:24:28.880 --> 00:24:29.440
It was period.
00:24:29.519 --> 00:24:30.880
It was a period of period.
00:24:31.119 --> 00:24:37.759
And then as we've been talking, it's like you're pulling yourself out of the matrix and remembering.
00:24:38.000 --> 00:24:38.960
It's so weird.
00:24:39.119 --> 00:24:39.759
I know.
00:24:40.000 --> 00:24:45.200
And again, it's a it's not it's it's not an either or.
00:24:45.359 --> 00:24:52.960
It's not like you're right when you're chasing money and you're wrong when you're living freely and homeless on the street, but you're so happy and blah, blah, blah.
00:24:53.519 --> 00:24:56.079
It's not an either or, it's a both and.
00:24:56.240 --> 00:25:06.480
And so, right somewhere in the middle of the conversation you were talking about, well, I watched the videos and I get into gratitude both for the things I have and the things that I don't have that I don't want.
00:25:06.559 --> 00:25:14.319
And I try to coexist with these parts of me that are pulling me in seemingly opposite directions.
00:25:14.720 --> 00:25:32.400
And that's actually the work because we're not just gonna wake up, I don't think, and be totally self-liberated and not give a single fuck and not want to have the impact that we have with the gifts that we were given.
00:25:32.640 --> 00:25:39.759
That's not gonna happen, and we're not gonna be okay if that's the only thing we chase in our lives.
00:25:39.920 --> 00:25:48.160
And so, since both of those things are true, every 24 hours, it's like a you hit like a spiritual reset button, I think, when you go to sleep.
00:25:48.240 --> 00:25:53.440
I always say this when I wake up, I like describe the spiritual boardroom of parts of me.
00:25:53.519 --> 00:25:55.839
They all kind of assemble above my head.
00:25:56.079 --> 00:26:08.559
You know, the perfectionist, the the highly ambitious, the procrastinator, the free to do what she wants and pleases, Sagittarian, the right, all of them assemble.
00:26:08.640 --> 00:26:13.200
And and like my job is to go, tell me your grievances.
00:26:13.519 --> 00:26:16.079
I just want I want to hear from all of them.
00:26:16.319 --> 00:26:24.640
And I also wanna, so I want to honor their fears, their hopes, their dreams, their desires, and not be run by them.
00:26:24.799 --> 00:26:58.799
I want the version of me that knows she deserves both success and fulfillment to be sitting in the seat of CEO of that boardroom table, to take everyone's opinions into consideration and then just go out and do the very best I can to have a day that's a day that I that I work hard, that I can literally look back and go, yeah, I spent X amount of hours like really pounding the pavement, you know, letting people know what I do, offering something for free, like putting my work out into the world in a humble and vulnerable way so that I'm building blah and blah.
00:26:58.880 --> 00:26:59.039
Right.
00:26:59.440 --> 00:27:04.720
And I spent time in joyful things just for the sake of it.
00:27:04.880 --> 00:27:10.160
Joyful movement, joyful friendship, joyful food food.
00:27:10.319 --> 00:27:10.640
Yes.
00:27:10.799 --> 00:27:21.039
Like I want to try in a day to have a balance of both of those things because that's honoring the full expression of who I am.
00:27:21.119 --> 00:27:30.160
And if I have one day that's fully one or fully the other, I think there's a time and place to have like full-blown spiritual fulfillment days where you're just playing, where you're just dancing.
00:27:30.319 --> 00:27:41.039
I think those can be such a reset and a recharge for getting back into the business of your life and give you a whole swoop of energy that can be ultra productive.
00:27:41.839 --> 00:27:48.880
But in general, I'm trying to kind of live in that sort of both end space as opposed to either or.
00:27:49.119 --> 00:27:49.680
That's good.
00:27:49.759 --> 00:27:50.480
Yeah, I like it.
00:27:51.119 --> 00:27:57.839
So then how do you reconcile with the fact that your initial answer is success equals money cold with?
00:27:58.319 --> 00:28:01.519
Well, actually, Samantha, when I'm listening to you, that's totally absurd.
00:28:01.599 --> 00:28:03.039
You're already successful, so am I.
00:28:03.200 --> 00:28:04.079
We already have all the things.
00:28:04.160 --> 00:28:05.440
Like, what are we even talking about?
00:28:05.599 --> 00:28:09.359
This is a joke, life is a joke, this is fake, this is money with us.
00:28:10.160 --> 00:28:18.720
How are you like right now in this moment, how knowing both of those extremes seemingly exist at the same time, how are you dealing with that?
00:28:24.799 --> 00:28:26.240
I'm putting the gun to my head.
00:28:27.440 --> 00:28:28.640
I'm having a lot of sex.
00:28:34.000 --> 00:28:36.559
That's not the limiting, that's delimiting.
00:28:36.880 --> 00:28:37.839
You're gonna laugh.
00:28:37.920 --> 00:28:39.839
I mean, it's just ridiculous.
00:28:40.079 --> 00:28:46.319
I honestly I'm always gonna be who I am.
00:28:46.640 --> 00:28:52.559
And um and I I think that's the most important thing.
00:28:52.640 --> 00:29:00.319
When I was listening to you, I was like, okay, the struggle struggles start to happen when we're not who we really are.
00:29:00.720 --> 00:29:01.039
Okay.
00:29:01.680 --> 00:29:02.400
I think that's true.
00:29:03.279 --> 00:29:03.599
Totally.
00:29:04.480 --> 00:29:05.279
I think it might be true.
00:29:05.359 --> 00:29:16.319
You know, it's like if if I lean into what it is that I do best consistently and stop leaning into the things, you know, we talked about last episode about like divisive things.
00:29:16.559 --> 00:29:19.119
Nobody wants to see me be divisive or to even think.
00:29:19.759 --> 00:29:20.640
That's not me.
00:29:20.880 --> 00:29:23.119
That's not what people like me for.
00:29:23.440 --> 00:29:25.599
Really learning about okay, why do people like me?
00:29:25.759 --> 00:29:27.680
Why do people why do I like them?
00:29:27.759 --> 00:29:33.440
And you know, when we're having a good time with each other and vibrating, it's for me, my world is about having fun.
00:29:33.920 --> 00:29:39.039
So the more I lean into having fun with people, it's you're gonna, I'm gonna win.
00:29:39.119 --> 00:29:42.799
And I and I have been consistently winning with that frame of mind.
00:29:43.119 --> 00:29:43.359
Yeah.
00:29:43.839 --> 00:29:51.519
So to answer your question, like lean into having fun with people, lean into having fun with people, and what comes out of it will come out of it.
00:29:52.799 --> 00:29:54.640
Let it be, whatever will be, will be.
00:29:55.599 --> 00:30:00.240
That's all I have control over, is like how much fun can I have at this party?
00:30:00.400 --> 00:30:02.720
And it's hard to have fun sometimes.
00:30:03.279 --> 00:30:23.519
It's hard to have fun when things aren't going your way, or it's hard to have fun when you know the outfit isn't kicking the way you want it to, or you know, the hair isn't right, or that picture look like shit, and you know, you look you have and you're thinking about yourself, and you know, you think about others, and you think about oh, this party is for other people to have fun with, you know, you gotta.
00:30:23.759 --> 00:30:25.279
I that's that's my work.
00:30:25.519 --> 00:30:29.440
I gotta get back into all the time is that frame of having fun.
00:30:29.519 --> 00:30:31.839
And for me, success is still money.
00:30:33.680 --> 00:30:42.720
I'm still not at that point where I'm like, you know, because success is different than fulfillment.
00:30:43.279 --> 00:30:44.160
You were just saying that, right?
00:30:44.640 --> 00:30:44.720
Yeah.
00:30:45.200 --> 00:30:47.200
To be fulfilled is like one thing.
00:30:48.319 --> 00:30:55.200
But like I I definitely am the kind of person I I've well, like I think uh most of us are.
00:30:55.359 --> 00:30:59.119
We want the financial freedom to do the kind of projects that we want to do.
00:30:59.680 --> 00:31:05.599
So ultimately what we're trying to create is more fun, more projects that are fulfilling and fun.
00:31:05.680 --> 00:31:24.079
Like I want to make movies, I want to make you know uh albums for people and you know, um travel the world and and do all kinds of things and throw big parties and stuff like that uh and perform in them and have other people come in and perform at the same time and festivals, right?
00:31:25.599 --> 00:31:32.880
So to fund all those things, you need like big budget, so you need people kind of throwing that in.
00:31:33.839 --> 00:31:42.960
So I think I don't know, I'm still so cold about the idea, but I know in my heart that it's also not true.
00:31:43.680 --> 00:31:48.319
So it's like it's like a it's it's like a game you're playing with yourself, it's you're tricking yourself.
00:31:50.799 --> 00:31:52.559
It's so interesting this conversation.
00:31:52.720 --> 00:32:07.599
I think so many people are gonna relate to this because it's just uh conditioned in us from the the moment we get here, about the idea of success being external and very much financial.
00:32:08.319 --> 00:32:14.160
And it's interesting when you think about like success and fulfillment are two totally different things.
00:32:15.119 --> 00:32:22.319
We already know because we've seen it a thousand times, look at any sort of major celebrity that's overdosed, relapsed, died, killed themselves, right?
00:32:22.400 --> 00:32:26.000
Like you can have wild success, as you said, and be deeply unfulfilled.
00:32:27.039 --> 00:32:38.319
But an interesting question is can you be fulfilled and call that success?
00:32:39.279 --> 00:32:46.000
Even if you never earn the dollar amount that you've said you wanted to earn.
00:32:46.400 --> 00:32:48.240
Because it doesn't work the other way.
00:32:48.559 --> 00:33:07.359
You cannot have success and be guaranteed fulfillment, but you can have fulfillment and if you work hard enough at deconditioning your belief systems, you can have fulfillment and never get the quote unquote success that you set out to get.
00:33:08.079 --> 00:33:09.680
And that's the way of the Buddha, right?
00:33:09.759 --> 00:33:19.920
Like all those guys that they they live in the temples, and they're like happy as the clams, you know, not just gardening, but call it a day.
00:33:22.000 --> 00:33:24.160
Grow your flowers, call it a day, success.
00:33:26.000 --> 00:33:33.440
But I really love what you're saying, and I think this is such a great place to to end on because it's it's actually a really big concept.
00:33:33.519 --> 00:33:43.759
Uh on the one hand, using fun as a metric for how to measure your days is such a simple concept.
00:33:44.240 --> 00:33:45.200
It's it's so simple.
00:33:45.359 --> 00:33:54.640
So so I love that that it's so simple, and it's actually deeply spiritual and and not simple at all.
00:33:54.960 --> 00:33:55.599
Right.
00:33:56.480 --> 00:34:17.679
Getting yourself into a place where you are free enough to put fun and joy and play at the front and still be working hard is inherently going to shift the energy, the magnetism, the vibration, right?
00:34:17.760 --> 00:34:34.559
We can get super spiritual and woo-woo, but it's going to shift your state so much, which is going to create an aura around you that is going to attract different people, places, things, and situations, which is going to kick doors open for different opportunities.
00:34:35.360 --> 00:34:59.679
And, you know, while it seems like a willy-nilly maybe strategy to the very sort of numerical CEO person, and you know, for Rob, he would laugh in my face at this conversation in this part because all he did, and some of it is deeply conditioned for him, was put his head down, not sleep, and work to the goddamn bone.
00:34:59.760 --> 00:35:00.400
And you know what?
00:35:00.480 --> 00:35:03.519
He has a big swinging dick of a business to show for it.
00:35:04.320 --> 00:35:04.639
Okay.
00:35:05.519 --> 00:35:06.400
Like my husband.
00:35:06.719 --> 00:35:15.920
The idea of him putting fun at the front as the thing he's looking for every day would be like, yeah, cool, you can do that, but you're just gonna stay broke.
00:35:16.079 --> 00:35:16.880
That's what he would say.
00:35:17.119 --> 00:35:18.800
That's what a lot of founders would say.
00:35:18.960 --> 00:35:22.400
Yeah, and I don't think that's necessarily true either.
00:35:22.639 --> 00:35:25.280
I do think there is a balancing act.
00:35:25.440 --> 00:35:37.679
You you can absolutely shove down the pursuit of fun and potentially squeeze the time it takes to achieve the external markers of success.
00:35:37.840 --> 00:35:39.440
That is potentially true.
00:35:39.679 --> 00:35:41.760
There are a lot of CEOs that would say that.
00:35:41.840 --> 00:35:50.559
You know, if you just focus on one thing and you are fucking relentless about it and you do not stop, just one thing, it's going to take off at some point.
00:35:50.639 --> 00:35:52.639
And then you can invite back.
00:35:52.800 --> 00:36:05.440
And there are plenty of people that would say, actually, if that's against your nature and doing that is gonna crush your spirit, and the energy you're gonna give off is kind of toxic and unattractive.
00:36:05.760 --> 00:36:06.400
So do it.
00:36:06.719 --> 00:36:08.400
It's not gonna work out for you.
00:36:08.559 --> 00:36:09.679
It's not gonna grow something.
00:36:09.760 --> 00:36:16.480
And if it does, you'll get you'll be that person that gets the cash and prizes and is fucking miserable.
00:36:16.719 --> 00:36:40.960
So it's part of this is like a little bit of this and a little bit of that, like knowing our nature and what we need to feel our best so we attract what we want, mixed in with probably a little more discipline and focus on the things that we really are great at that we really love doing, instead of being you know, in five places at once, can we try to just be in one or two?
00:36:41.199 --> 00:36:44.079
Yeah, like both, both are true.
00:36:44.400 --> 00:36:49.920
And I think working together with people who are ball busters like that, they really are Capricorns.
00:36:50.159 --> 00:36:53.519
Yep, let them do that work.
00:36:53.679 --> 00:36:57.760
Yep, that ball busting work because they find that to be a big bun.
00:36:58.159 --> 00:37:04.320
Yeah, and like and like your man, he went into a business that is very big bun for him.
00:37:04.719 --> 00:37:05.920
Like he loves coffee.
00:37:06.239 --> 00:37:07.679
He loves it, it's bun.
00:37:08.480 --> 00:37:12.079
Like he had to have some sort of yeah, he freaking loved it.
00:37:12.320 --> 00:37:13.280
He loves it, yeah.
00:37:13.440 --> 00:37:16.000
So I think that's why it's it wins for him.
00:37:16.079 --> 00:37:26.559
We have to, you know, find what we love, dive into that, and then outsource some of this really like if you're not a ball busting type, like don't act like like that.
00:37:26.639 --> 00:37:28.639
Was my thing I did with the Trump era.
00:37:28.880 --> 00:37:30.400
I tried to be somebody I wasn't.
00:37:30.480 --> 00:37:35.280
I'm like, oh, I'm gonna take on the energy of Trump.
00:37:35.519 --> 00:37:36.400
Like, I'm the boss.
00:37:36.559 --> 00:37:40.880
I wrote a song for I'm the boss, like, and try to wear this type of thing.
00:37:41.039 --> 00:37:43.440
It's like, dude, that's for him.
00:37:44.079 --> 00:37:46.480
I'm definitely not that person at all.
00:37:46.719 --> 00:37:54.079
I'm super like whatever I am, you know, artsy, creative, magic, fun.
00:37:54.639 --> 00:37:54.719
Yeah.
00:37:55.039 --> 00:38:01.599
That's what so really finding you know who you who you are, what works best, leaning into that.
00:38:01.679 --> 00:38:04.480
And yes, we could all use more discipline too, like you were talking about.
00:38:04.639 --> 00:38:06.800
I would love to structure, well, I would love that.
00:38:06.880 --> 00:38:17.440
I actually would hate that, but it would be very smart of me to be like, okay, on Mondays from 12 to 3, we we da-da-da-da.
00:38:17.760 --> 00:38:19.519
Which I'm getting better at.
00:38:19.760 --> 00:38:21.280
Yes, better at.
00:38:23.679 --> 00:38:26.719
It's just like ballet versus like freestyle.
00:38:28.960 --> 00:38:29.599
Exactly.
00:38:29.760 --> 00:38:31.199
That is such a good analogy.
00:38:31.519 --> 00:38:31.840
Right?
00:38:32.159 --> 00:38:32.400
Yeah.
00:38:32.960 --> 00:38:33.760
We need both.
00:38:34.400 --> 00:38:35.280
Yeah, we need both.
00:38:35.519 --> 00:38:35.840
We do.
00:38:36.159 --> 00:38:37.519
We gotta think of this like dancers.
00:38:37.840 --> 00:38:37.920
Yeah.
00:38:39.679 --> 00:38:42.719
We need ballet, we need structure, we need discipline.
00:38:43.199 --> 00:38:48.639
But sometimes we gotta let it go and just go where our body just wants to go.
00:38:49.039 --> 00:39:05.920
You know, it's funny, as you know, I'm kicking off all these wellness workshops, and then I for sure want you to share like what you're working on and and going back into success and also joy, right?
00:39:06.000 --> 00:39:12.320
I want you to just make sure you shout from the rooftops everything you're hard at work at and where people can find it and support it.
00:39:13.440 --> 00:39:22.000
In creating different workshops and seeing what lands, you know, this is like a really fun phase because it's more of an ideation phase.
00:39:22.079 --> 00:39:22.960
It's experimental.
00:39:23.039 --> 00:39:28.079
I'm not super attached, super, I'm a little attached, to the outcome.
00:39:28.320 --> 00:39:31.920
And so I get to just go, what what kind of workshop do I want to do next?
00:39:32.000 --> 00:39:36.239
You know, what what would I want to bring people together to experience?
00:39:36.800 --> 00:39:43.760
And in in the spirit of what is fun and what comes naturally, right?
00:39:43.840 --> 00:39:50.000
I mean, there's no question with me that you can't say dance, like period, full stop, my whole life.
00:39:50.159 --> 00:39:54.400
That's been the thing always that I've had the most fun doing.
00:39:54.639 --> 00:39:59.199
It still is, it shifts my physiologic state, shifts my mood.
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:11.519
And I was like, how do I make a workshop that's centered around that, but still falls under the umbrella of something a little deeper than just a hip-hop class?
00:40:12.000 --> 00:40:13.519
Like, what would that be, right?
00:40:13.920 --> 00:40:19.840
And I, and of course, the minute I decided this, it's all over my goddamn Instagram feed.
00:40:20.000 --> 00:40:22.079
Thank you, AI algorithms.
00:40:22.400 --> 00:40:27.199
Um, I'm gonna have a somatic dance workshop.
00:40:27.360 --> 00:40:32.639
And what that means, essentially, and this is on July 18th on a Saturday, with a live DJ.
00:40:32.800 --> 00:40:42.800
I've never done, I've only ever gone to a club and freestyled if I want to freestyle, or taught a structured, proper class, right?
00:40:42.960 --> 00:40:45.440
Proper warm-up, proper choreography.
00:40:45.760 --> 00:41:06.480
The idea of getting people together and just being a very gentle guide and facilitator to move however the fuck you want to express and emote and release on a deeper level, whatever it is you're carrying, scares the shit out of me and excites me so much.
00:41:06.639 --> 00:41:24.960
But I'm like, Sam, that's you trying to stay in the structure of what you're building and be rigorously true to what you care about at the same time, and to what brings you joy and fun, right, and where you can serve others.
00:41:25.199 --> 00:41:34.239
And so that's like, you know, the more I have my space and the more I spend time dancing, the more I'm like, what are you doing not dancing?
00:41:34.400 --> 00:41:51.119
Like, I know you don't want to be considered a dance teacher and a, you know, like you're so much more than that, but it is a part of your brand and your ethos and your energy and what lights you up, and it's a vehicle you want to give other people to also express who they are.
00:41:51.199 --> 00:41:52.320
And that's a gift.
00:41:52.400 --> 00:41:57.360
And there's nothing shameful about that, there's nothing less than about that.
00:41:57.440 --> 00:42:04.320
You know, just because I have a fancy degree in one part of my life does not mean I can't also use this other thing that's a gift.
00:42:04.480 --> 00:42:08.079
So, this is like my attempt at everything we're talking about.
00:42:08.239 --> 00:42:13.119
Like, can I make this both successful and fulfilling?
00:42:13.440 --> 00:42:17.199
This next upcoming workshop, and can I grow it into something?
00:42:17.280 --> 00:42:21.760
And then don't you know, you know, this person that has a gazillion followers on Instagram?
00:42:22.400 --> 00:42:25.360
This is all he does is somatic dance.
00:42:25.519 --> 00:42:30.880
Oh, he hosts these hour-long sessions globally on the internet.
00:42:31.599 --> 00:42:35.920
Hundreds and hundreds of people are just virtual flailing around.
00:42:36.239 --> 00:42:37.039
Is it virtual?
00:42:37.199 --> 00:42:45.360
Yeah, and then he'll but then it spit it spins into coaching and body-based healing.
00:42:46.000 --> 00:42:58.800
And so his Instagram feed is this mixture of movement and how moving is so cathartic and why and what it's doing, interesting conversations around processing stress, tension, trauma through the body, not just through the head.
00:42:58.960 --> 00:43:06.159
And it's really this umbrella that I'm trying to be underneath right now, which is not just body, but body and mind, and the two of those things together.
00:43:06.239 --> 00:43:07.760
And I'm like, you know what?
00:43:07.920 --> 00:43:10.239
I know it's a thing that can be successful.
00:43:10.320 --> 00:43:13.119
I'm seeing it on my feed, it exists, people want it.
00:43:13.280 --> 00:43:17.280
Yeah, so now that's my like up and coming, you know, thing that I'm gonna try out.
00:43:17.360 --> 00:43:18.480
So more will be revealed.
00:43:18.559 --> 00:43:19.280
Stay tuned for that.
00:43:19.360 --> 00:43:20.079
But I love that.
00:43:20.239 --> 00:43:20.800
What about you?
00:43:20.960 --> 00:43:24.000
What's your current version of where success meets fulfillment?
00:43:24.079 --> 00:43:26.239
The project, the thing that you're promoting.
00:43:26.559 --> 00:43:29.679
Well, uh, I have a residency in Las Vegas.
00:43:30.000 --> 00:43:30.800
Fuck yeah.
00:43:31.039 --> 00:43:33.760
Yeah, it's called uh C3 Lounge.
00:43:33.840 --> 00:43:36.800
We're gonna be performing July 4th at C3 Lounge.
00:43:37.039 --> 00:43:40.000
You can get your tickets at C3LoungeEvents.com.
00:43:40.320 --> 00:43:42.239
And I'm performing Is that number three?
00:43:42.320 --> 00:43:43.679
Uh letter C and number three.
00:43:44.480 --> 00:43:44.559
Okay.
00:43:44.719 --> 00:43:45.519
Yeah, the number.
00:43:45.679 --> 00:43:49.599
I'm performing with April Diamond, this other Billboard Top 40 recording artist.
00:43:49.920 --> 00:43:51.920
Uh, you know, we're putting on a great show.
00:43:52.000 --> 00:43:54.400
But it's turning into a DJ set.
00:43:54.960 --> 00:43:56.800
So I DJed for the first time.
00:43:56.960 --> 00:43:57.360
Really?
00:43:57.599 --> 00:43:58.639
Yeah, yeah.
00:43:58.960 --> 00:43:59.679
A couple weeks ago.
00:44:00.159 --> 00:44:01.119
A week ago.
00:44:01.760 --> 00:44:03.679
And it was really, it was a lot of fun.
00:44:03.840 --> 00:44:07.440
So that kind of awakened me because I was really nervous to do it.
00:44:07.599 --> 00:44:08.079
I bet.
00:44:08.239 --> 00:44:08.880
I was nervous.
00:44:09.039 --> 00:44:12.719
And then I saw this boy on Instagram, like the same thing with your what you're talking about.
00:44:12.800 --> 00:44:16.880
He was doing exactly the kind of music that I'm doing, like the kind of like the same type of pop.
00:44:16.960 --> 00:44:17.280
Yeah.
00:44:17.519 --> 00:44:20.239
All the pop girlies and put it all in there.
00:44:20.320 --> 00:44:24.239
And I was like, oh yeah, he he's like crushing it.
00:44:24.480 --> 00:44:30.559
So I'm like, yeah, that's like pretty much what I'm you know, where I'm headed and where I'm going to.
00:44:31.119 --> 00:44:38.000
Um so yeah, so definitely this next show is gonna be a lot more like a of a DJ set, which is really nice.
00:44:38.159 --> 00:44:38.719
It's fun.
00:44:39.039 --> 00:44:42.159
And then A Little Birdie in a Tree told me you have an album coming out?
00:44:42.400 --> 00:44:43.119
Yes, I do.
00:44:43.280 --> 00:44:44.719
Oh, uh will you tell us about it?
00:44:44.960 --> 00:44:55.679
I just uploaded my album to all of the distribution platforms, so that means it's gonna be coming out in August, on August 7th, and the album was called Filling the Void.
00:44:55.840 --> 00:45:04.480
And I'm super excited about this record, and you know, you know when you put it up on the distribution platforms, you're like, okay, put it to rest.
00:45:04.639 --> 00:45:20.159
Like, abandon this, and I I have had it for like months now, like just kind of doing minor minor baby tweaks here and there as I'm listening, and then finally I was just in Vegas and listening to the record, and I'm like, this shit's done.
00:45:20.559 --> 00:45:22.320
Please, this shit's done.
00:45:22.480 --> 00:45:32.159
I mean, I hear, of course, problems with it, you know, but it's never gonna be perfect, and I kind of I just love the imperfections as well.
00:45:32.719 --> 00:45:38.800
It's because it's it's a synthetic record that has a lot of emotion in it at the same time.
00:45:39.360 --> 00:45:41.440
I even wrote a song called Synthetic Love.
00:45:41.920 --> 00:45:44.559
All I ever wanted, all I ever needed is synthetic love.
00:45:45.199 --> 00:45:56.000
So he used the character, uses like programs and logic and reason to ignore shame.
00:45:56.480 --> 00:45:57.760
That's that was one of the lyrics.
00:45:59.280 --> 00:46:15.679
And uh deleting feelings that don't serve me, living this life like a robot, and then you kind of realize that there's a lot of emotion there in the record, even though I'm highly, highly auto-tuned.
00:46:18.320 --> 00:46:20.000
I just like that sound.
00:46:20.239 --> 00:46:21.840
Yeah, I do, I like it.
00:46:21.920 --> 00:46:30.159
I I've been watching like these indie singers like do these huge festivals, they're getting up there, and that they have like millions of followers, and no one knows who they are.
00:46:30.400 --> 00:46:36.079
Like no one, except for their core bass, and they are auto-tuned to the max.
00:46:36.719 --> 00:46:37.840
Way more than me.
00:46:38.000 --> 00:46:40.239
Um, no, but I did crank up the auto-tune.
00:46:40.320 --> 00:46:46.320
I do like that sound, but then certain moments I would release it and just have like a very dry vocal, too, so you can hear my voice.
00:46:46.559 --> 00:47:00.800
It's like I think listen, it auto-tuning when you can't sing to cover that up is a totally different thing than auto-tuning as a artistic and creative choice.
00:47:01.119 --> 00:47:02.000
Yes, right.
00:47:02.159 --> 00:47:09.119
I mean, you are you are super talented, so that it's just a preference at this point, it's a stylistic preference.
00:47:09.360 --> 00:47:12.159
Yeah, my mom is very depressed about it.
00:47:13.920 --> 00:47:15.440
Can you please take out the auto tune?
00:47:15.679 --> 00:47:23.440
And then I played the record for my aesthetician, Michelle, and she said it was the best record I've ever made by far.
00:47:23.599 --> 00:47:25.519
And she says this is incredible.
00:47:25.679 --> 00:47:29.119
Um, and she's she's a big Ricky Rebel fan musically.
00:47:29.280 --> 00:47:34.239
She like loves, she plays it on YouTube all the time, my music.
00:47:34.480 --> 00:47:38.880
Um yeah, I think it's a there's something very special about this this record.
00:47:39.039 --> 00:47:41.679
I was really heavily inspired by Charlie, XCX.
00:47:42.719 --> 00:47:45.199
That album, Brat, like kicked my ass.
00:47:45.599 --> 00:47:46.960
It's still kicking my ass.
00:47:47.119 --> 00:47:48.639
Yeah, you've loved that for a while.
00:47:48.960 --> 00:47:49.920
It's kicking my ass.
00:47:50.400 --> 00:47:53.519
And even her new stuff too is is brilliant.
00:47:54.239 --> 00:47:58.960
Um so she's been a huge uh catalyst for this record.
00:47:59.360 --> 00:47:59.679
So yeah.
00:47:59.920 --> 00:48:01.280
Well, I'm so excited to hear it.
00:48:01.440 --> 00:48:03.280
I've only heard some of it.
00:48:03.599 --> 00:48:05.119
Yeah, I think I played most of it.
00:48:05.280 --> 00:48:05.440
Yeah.
00:48:05.679 --> 00:48:05.840
Yeah.
00:48:06.000 --> 00:48:08.880
I feel like I I need another serious listen.
00:48:09.199 --> 00:48:13.679
I think I need to have like I would love, I hate to say this, but like throw a party or something.
00:48:13.840 --> 00:48:17.119
Can we can we do like a canyon club, like dance party?
00:48:17.280 --> 00:48:18.079
Oh my god.
00:48:18.320 --> 00:48:21.199
And just like intermittently play the record or something.
00:48:21.679 --> 00:48:22.000
Jeez.
00:48:22.480 --> 00:48:24.400
Brian knows everybody at Canyon Club.
00:48:24.559 --> 00:48:26.960
Why can't we just do like a dance pop show?
00:48:27.280 --> 00:48:31.920
Like, dance music all night long, dance music, dance explosion.
00:48:32.159 --> 00:48:32.400
We can.
00:48:32.639 --> 00:48:34.000
And then I have guest performers.
00:48:34.159 --> 00:48:36.079
You can do your song, I'd throw you in the mix.
00:48:36.159 --> 00:48:38.159
I throw Tony in the mix, Johnny in the mix.
00:48:38.400 --> 00:48:39.920
Dude, the venue is right here.
00:48:40.159 --> 00:48:46.159
You should find out what they're you know, what the rates look like on a weeknight.
00:48:47.119 --> 00:48:49.280
It's just getting people to come.
00:48:50.719 --> 00:48:53.039
Dun dun dun dun.
00:48:54.400 --> 00:48:57.840
Yeah, but if it's a really collaborative effort that that helps.
00:48:58.079 --> 00:48:59.119
It's gotta be collaborative.
00:48:59.199 --> 00:49:02.159
You know, everyone can bring some of their own audience.
00:49:02.480 --> 00:49:02.800
Yeah.
00:49:03.039 --> 00:49:06.239
But don't this place needs like a dance night.
00:49:06.480 --> 00:49:07.360
Oh yeah.
00:49:07.679 --> 00:49:10.639
Like 80s, 90s, 2000s.
00:49:10.960 --> 00:49:11.920
You should hear my questions.
00:49:12.159 --> 00:49:17.679
But Canyon Club has a built-in, like, if they would help market it, yeah, if we market it.
00:49:18.000 --> 00:49:20.559
We should see what they have and don't have already.
00:49:20.800 --> 00:49:27.199
And if there's like a gap to fill, that people who look to see what the Canyon Club has been doing.
00:49:27.360 --> 00:49:39.840
I've offered the show, I mean, off the record, off the record, off the record, like it's press play, it's already not bell, like a four-hour show, or two hours, whatever it is.
00:49:40.159 --> 00:49:43.440
And then I just I manipulate the sounds as we go along, you know?
00:49:44.159 --> 00:49:47.599
But it's like, oh, if you hear Whitney Houston playing, like you're up.
00:49:49.199 --> 00:49:51.679
You hear Whitney, that's your you're on.
00:49:52.000 --> 00:49:56.159
And you get up and you perform one number, like your number, and you get up.
00:49:57.039 --> 00:50:02.159
And at the end I'll play like a few songs from the new record, or like a few songs in in between.
00:50:03.599 --> 00:50:04.960
I think it'd be rad.
00:50:05.920 --> 00:50:08.480
But I'm saying, like success.
00:50:08.800 --> 00:50:11.440
What is I want that crowd, you know, I want the whole thing.
00:50:11.679 --> 00:50:13.599
But you gotta work towards that, like you say.
00:50:14.480 --> 00:50:15.840
Boots on the ground.
00:50:16.079 --> 00:50:17.440
Yeah, yeah.
00:50:17.840 --> 00:50:45.360
I'm having an event at Canyon Club, you know, my my events that I kept throwing and throwing and throwing, and it's not that it's not that people didn't come, but it wasn't growing compared to the effort I was putting in, you know, the time and the money and the monthly, and and so going into this year, that's another thing that I was like, I'm gonna hit the pause button because I need to recalibrate on what I'm doing with that.
00:50:46.559 --> 00:50:55.119
And I was gonna space everything out to be quarterly, and instead I was like, I'm making it an annual event.
00:50:55.280 --> 00:50:57.360
I am doing once a year.
00:50:58.239 --> 00:51:01.199
I am gonna give myself a long runway to promote it.
00:51:01.360 --> 00:51:01.920
That's smart.
00:51:02.079 --> 00:51:13.199
I am gonna get some serious ass people to come to it and give a lot of people time on the stage so they bring their own audiences, so I fill up the goddamn room.
00:51:13.360 --> 00:51:17.840
Yep, and I'm changing my marketing and my messaging.
00:51:18.000 --> 00:51:24.480
So literally, I'm about to start promoting for an it's October 20th, so it's months and away from it now.
00:51:25.119 --> 00:51:31.360
I have this woman who runs a super big annual event coming and speaking at it.
00:51:32.719 --> 00:51:39.920
Partly that is so that she can also watch what I do and see me speak and get to know me better because I really like her.
00:51:40.079 --> 00:51:42.719
I really like how her mind works, I love what she's building.
00:51:42.880 --> 00:51:43.360
Yeah.
00:51:43.679 --> 00:51:48.639
And I it's about it's it's called cycle breakers.
00:51:48.719 --> 00:51:53.199
So instead of it being like heart conscious creators, which is a cool name, but it's kind of like, what is it?
00:51:53.280 --> 00:51:54.159
What is this event?
00:51:54.320 --> 00:51:54.880
What is it about?
00:51:55.039 --> 00:51:55.920
Who is it for?
00:51:56.239 --> 00:52:03.840
Cycle breakers, and it is literally for women who are finding their voice, owning their stories, and sharing their messages.
00:52:04.159 --> 00:52:04.559
Period.
00:52:04.719 --> 00:52:10.239
So it is going to attract a very specific type of person who wants to get their message out.
00:52:10.320 --> 00:52:16.480
And so I'm giving people like time on the stage to share a five or ten minute version of their story interspersed with a pat.
00:52:16.800 --> 00:52:17.039
Yeah.
00:52:17.280 --> 00:52:18.800
It's like a speaker festival.
00:52:19.039 --> 00:52:19.519
Yeah.
00:52:19.760 --> 00:52:29.679
And I'm like, I don't know how well the first one's gonna go, but now knowing what it actually is, it's taken all this time with the book and like, what am I doing with this event?
00:52:29.840 --> 00:52:30.480
What is it for?
00:52:30.639 --> 00:52:32.800
What am I, you know, and because it was cool.
00:52:32.960 --> 00:52:33.920
I mean your event was great.
00:52:34.159 --> 00:52:34.559
It's cool.
00:52:34.639 --> 00:52:40.079
It's it's I love throwing events, but but it was very hard.
00:52:40.320 --> 00:52:41.039
It's a thing.
00:52:41.199 --> 00:52:41.840
Yeah.
00:52:42.960 --> 00:53:01.440
So just for today, everyone listening, just for today, try to keep all of your big beautiful dreams intact, but stay as detached from the timing and the specific outcome of them as you possibly can.
00:53:01.599 --> 00:53:01.920
Right.
00:53:02.079 --> 00:53:04.159
And don't fucking forget to have fun.
00:53:06.000 --> 00:53:06.480
Amen.
00:53:07.039 --> 00:53:07.679
Amen.