WEBVTT
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Teachers, I want you to think about something for a minute.
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How many things asked for your attention today?
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Not how many things you actually got done, not how many things were on your list.
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How many things asked you to stop what you were doing, turn toward them, think about them, answer them, fix them, remember them, and carry them.
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Because those are two very different things, guys.
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You walk into school with a plan for your day.
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You know what you need to teach.
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You know what needs to get done during planning.
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You know the one thing you really need to handle before you leave.
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And then the day starts.
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A student needs something before the bell.
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Someone catches you in the hallway.
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There's an announcement.
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An email comes through.
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A parent message needs a response.
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You remember something you forgot yesterday.
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A coworker asks you if you have a minute.
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Then there's a behavior issue.
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Somebody needs coverage.
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You sit down, guys, during planning to do the thing you said you were going to do.
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And before you know it, you're doing three completely different things.
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Here's what makes that really hard for you guys.
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A lot of those things are legitimate.
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Okay.
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These are real things.
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They aren't just distractions.
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They aren't unimportant.
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Some of them absolutely need to be handled, but they do not all deserve equal access to you.
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And that's what we're talking about today.
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Guys, welcome back to Teaching Without Losing Yourself, the podcast.
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I'm Kim.
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I spent 28 years in education and realized at some point that I could not fix what was wrong from the inside.
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So I made the hardest decision of my career and left.
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Because if I could not protect teachers from within the system, I could support them in protecting themselves from outside of it.
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That is why this podcast exists.
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This is After the Bells Beyond the Box, a moment made just for teachers, even on the moon.
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And guys, everything we talk about here is built around one idea.
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You can stay in teaching without losing yourself in the process.
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Guys, nothing here is about fixing you.
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We are here to see things more clearly so you can make better choices inside your days.
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Guys, our theme for October is keep the focus, the focus.
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In September, we spent the month looking at the proof, right?
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The evidence, what you are already handling, what strength actually looks like on a regular school day, how one hard day doesn't get to erase all the weeks of evidence that you have.
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Guys, you proved you could carry a lot, right?
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October asks something different.
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It asks a different question of you guys.
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Not can you carry it?
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We already know the answer to that, right?
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Not can you carry it?
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What gets to be carried?
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And I want to be clear about what I mean by keep the focus, the focus, because this is not going to be a month of me telling you to get more organized.
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Okay.
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I'm not going to tell you that if you make a better to-do list, wake up earlier, manage your time better, or become more productive, you'll finally be able to get everything done.
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No, that's that's not where we're going.
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Because honestly, I don't think that's the problem.
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I think one of the problems is that teachers work in an environment where your attention is constantly being requested.
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And when everything presents itself, shows itself as being important, it becomes very easy, teachers, to start treating everything as if it deserves the same amount of your attention.
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And guys, it doesn't.
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So this month, we're going to talk about focus differently.
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We're going to talk about what gets access to you, what gets your time, what gets your attention.
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Guys, what gets your emotional energy?
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What gets to interrupt what you've already decided matters.
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Over the next few weeks, we're going to talk about protecting what you choose once the day starts pulling at you.
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We're going to talk about what happens when you get pulled away anyway, because you will, and how to reset without calling the whole day a whole loss for you.
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Okay.
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And we're going to talk about teaching well, going home, and guys, actually having something left for the rest of your life.
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But we're not starting there yet.
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Guys, this week, I just want us to notice because before you can protect your focus, you have to recognize what's been getting it, what's been getting the focus.
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Okay.
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So here's the question I want us to hold this week.
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Are you ready?
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Who or what has been deciding where your attention goes?
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Not what should get your attention yet, but who or what has been doing the deciding.
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Teachers, think about a regular school day before you get to the actual teaching part.
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Somebody probably needs you.
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Somebody probably needs something, okay?
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The copier's jam.
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And someone needs you to look at it because you fixed it last time.
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They think you got the magic touch, girl.
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A student is waiting at the door with a question about a missing assignment.
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Your team lead wants to catch you for just 30 seconds about Thursday.
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Something's happening on Thursday, just need 30 seconds.
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There's a note in your box that says, see me.
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You love those, right?
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I know my teachers love those not.
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See me.
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And the first bell hasn't even sounded.
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Once students arrive, guys, you're making decisions constantly.
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It is on.
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You're teaching while watching the student who looks upset.
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You're answering a question while remembering you need to send an email.
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You're redirecting one student while another one is calling your name.
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You are trying to finish one thought while someone needs to go to the nurse.
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Then your phone or computer gives you a notification.
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Then there's an announcement.
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Then someone knocks on the door.
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Then you remember the form that's due.
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Then a student tells you something that absolutely needs your attention.
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And then another student tells you something that absolutely does not need your attention.
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But they are standing directly in front of you, waiting for an answer anyway.
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Oh my goodness.
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I was exhausted saying all that.
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Lord, that's teaching.
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That is teaching in a nutshell.
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Have you ever sat down at lunch teachers and realized you haven't finished a single complete thought since you walked in the building?
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You started one, then started, then something else happened, and something else asked for you, then something else.
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And now it's lunch, and you're eating, standing up because someone needs you to sign something before the kids come back.
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Guys, even the quiet moments get claimed.
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Your students are working independently.
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And for the first time all morning, you just have a second to breathe.
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And that's exactly when a student walks up to your desk, or you glance at your inbox, or you remember you never called that same parent back that we already talked about.
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And it doesn't stop when the last bell rings.
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There's an email that comes in at 4:45.
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The group text from your team at 8:30 at night.
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The message from a parent that you see right before bed, and then think about while you're trying to fall asleep.
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Guys, your attention is being requested all day long.
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And I use the word requested intentionally.
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I'm all about intentionality because I want us to start separating two things that can feel exactly the same in the middle of a busy day.
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Something asking for your attention and something deserving your attention right now.
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Guys, those are two different things.
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They're not always the same, they don't always have the same weight.
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That's the distinction we don't always get to make, especially in the moment when all of that's happening.
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That those could be two different things, okay?
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A request comes in and we answer it.
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A notification pops up and we look.
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Someone asks a question and we stop.
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We remember something and immediately switch over to it.
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Something feels unfinished.
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So part of our mind stays there even while we're supposed to be doing something else.
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And guys, by the end of the day, you can feel like you have been moving non-stop.
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Guess what?
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You have.
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But when you think back over the day, sometimes it's hard to figure out where all of your attention actually went.
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You know you were busy.
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You know that.
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You know you were tired.
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You know you never stopped.
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But the thing you actually meant to do, the thing you decided mattered this morning at the beginning of the morning, it's still sitting there.
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And that's not because you were lazy.
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I I haven't met many lazy teachers in my life, to be honest.
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It's not because you don't know how to manage your time.
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It's because when everything that asks for you gets in, the day starts deciding for you.
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That's something I want you to notice this week.
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Not judge it, not fix it.
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I just want you to notice it.
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What keeps asking for your attention?
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So the shift I want you to consider is this something asking for your attention, and guys, something deserving your attention right now, they're not always the same thing.
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There's another part of this that I think happens after you've been teaching for a while.
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You get really good at responding.
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I mean, you you almost have to.
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Uh, you learn how to pivot quickly.
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You learn how to answer a question while doing something else.
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You learn how to notice what's happening across the room, way in that corner while you're talking to the student standing in front of you.
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It's like that corner of your eyes twitching.
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You already know.
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You learn how to adjust when the schedule changes.
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Teachers, you learn how to handle interruptions.
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You learn how to keep it moving.
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Those are skills, and know it.
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These are real skills, the kind we talked about all through September.
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Those are skills.
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But there can also be a downside to becoming really good at responding.
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You can get so used to turning toward the next thing that you stop noticing what you're doing.
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Something comes in and you respond, okay?
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Or something happens and you turn towards that, or somebody asks and you answer.
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You remember something and you switch.
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There's almost no space between something asking for your attention and you giving it your attention.
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Does that sound familiar to you?
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I know it does to me.
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You're in the middle of entering grades, you finally get your rhythm going, think about it, and the notification slides into the corner of your screen.
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Guys, I hate that little slide in the corner of my screen.
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You click it, and before you've even finished reading it, you're already writing the response in your head.
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Ten minutes later, you've answered that email, open to more, and forwarded something to the team.
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And the grades are exactly where you left them.
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Or how about this one?
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One of your favorite coworkers, or not favorite, take, take, take your pick, leans into your doorway and says to you, Hey, do you have a second girl?
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And you're nodding before they finish the sentence.
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You didn't decide.
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You're nodding to the question, did do you have a second?
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And you didn't decide.
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You just said yes.
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And why?
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Because that's what you do.
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That's what you do.
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Tell them if that sounds like you.
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Or what about this?
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You pick up your phone to check the time, just the time.
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That's all you wanted was a time.
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And there's a message on your phone.
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Take that email off your phone.
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And there's a message from the parent group and a reminder from the school app and a text from your sister.
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And by the time you put that phone down, you still don't know what time it is.
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Like that was the whole point was to get the time.
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And you've done everything and you have no clue what time it is.
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Now, sometimes that immediate response is necessary.
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Please don't get me wrong.
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I know the word.
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Sometimes that immediate response is necessary.
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If a student is hurt, you don't need to sit there and evaluate whether the situation deserves access to you.
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It does deserve access to you.
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If there's a safety issue, you respond.
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If something truly needs to happen right now, teacher, you handle it.
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We're not pretending teachers have complete control over their days.
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You don't.
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We all know that you don't.
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But everything isn't that.
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Everything isn't at that level, okay?
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And I think that's where it gets kind of interesting because when you spent years, teachers, especially those who are like me with 28 years or 10 years or five years, honestly, at this point, one, but when you spent years really getting good at responding quickly, you can start responding quickly to things that don't actually require an immediate response.
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Some things don't require an immediate response.
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The email, the one that you answered, that took 10 minutes, it isn't going anywhere.
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That form, that can wait 20 minutes so you can finish what you're doing.
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The thought you just had doesn't require you to stop what you're doing and start something else.
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The request might be legitimate without being immediate.
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What is pulling you might be real, legitimate, something that does need to be responded to.
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But it doesn't have to be right now.
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It doesn't have to be immediate.
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Okay.
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But if the habit is something as I turned, something asks I turn, you may never even get to the point where you decide if it's immediate.
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Every time you turn, you have to find your way back.
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Back to the lesson, back to the grading, back to the thought you were in the middle of.
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And finding your way back takes something, guys.
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It takes energy.
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You don't always notice your spending.
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Do that 30, 40, 50 times a day.
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And you do.
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And it's no wonder you're exhausted in a way that doesn't match what you actually got done.
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You're thinking, what did I get done today?
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Oh, you know, if you are completely exhausted.
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Well, I mean, 30, 40, 50 times a day.
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You're you're doing that.
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So here's another thing to notice this week.
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I want you to notice how often do you turn towards something before you actually decide it whether it needs you?
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How often do you stop the grading, stop the thought process, stop what you're doing, and turn to do something else before you've actually decided, okay, does this need me immediately?
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So what I want you to consider is there there is a decision, teachers, that lives, that lives, that that that is in the space between something asking, okay, and you turning towards it.
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A decision is in that space between something asks and you turning toward it.
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Even if you don't hear it, see it, feel it.
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It is there.
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And you are allowed to make that decision.
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Okay.
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This is where I think we need to think a little bit more, okay, and just go a little bit deeper for you guys because we're not only talking about interruptions.
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And you know, those are easy.
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We do that all the time.
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We we see those all the time, and we can chit-chat about interruptions, but we're also talking about something else.
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We're we're talking about caring.
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Yeah, I said that caring.
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Teachers are just amazing people.
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You you notice things.
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You notice you notice the student who didn't eat.
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You notice the student whose behavior is different today.
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You're he's not the same.
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You notice that another teacher is struggling.
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You can see it.
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You can feel it, you can hear it in her voice.
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You notice something that needs to be done just because it needs to be done.
00:17:39.279 --> 00:17:46.880
You notice the parent who, regardless of what they say and how they say it, you notice their worry.
00:17:47.920 --> 00:17:51.599
Teachers, you notice the problem nobody else has handled yet.
00:17:52.480 --> 00:17:54.799
That's just the work you do.
00:17:55.039 --> 00:17:59.279
You notice when something could be better.
00:18:00.000 --> 00:18:10.640
And because you, teacher, because you care, noticing something can very quickly turn into feeling responsible for it.
00:18:11.599 --> 00:18:15.039
I saw it, so maybe I should handle it.
00:18:16.240 --> 00:18:20.079
I know about it, so maybe I should fix it.
00:18:20.799 --> 00:18:21.519
I could help.
00:18:21.599 --> 00:18:23.599
I mean, I I know I know how to do this.
00:18:23.759 --> 00:18:24.960
I could help.
00:18:25.279 --> 00:18:26.880
So maybe I should.
00:18:28.079 --> 00:18:29.039
My favorite.
00:18:29.680 --> 00:18:34.960
Nobody else is gonna do it, so I guess it's mine.
00:18:35.599 --> 00:18:36.799
Have you been there before?
00:18:36.880 --> 00:18:38.079
Does that sound familiar?
00:18:38.240 --> 00:18:41.440
I know I have lots of hands and amens out there.
00:18:41.839 --> 00:18:45.039
The new teacher across the hall looks overwhelmed.
00:18:45.279 --> 00:18:48.559
So, you know, you start checking in on her every afternoon.
00:18:48.640 --> 00:18:50.079
You you noticed.
00:18:50.400 --> 00:18:56.720
Then you're sharing your plans, then you're helping her set up her grade book.
00:18:56.880 --> 00:18:58.559
Again, you noticed.
00:18:59.440 --> 00:19:03.759
And somewhere along the way, her first year becomes part of your job.
00:19:04.000 --> 00:19:05.440
It's your new job.
00:19:05.920 --> 00:19:09.920
The bulletin board in the hallway, my goodness, it hasn't been changed since last spring.
00:19:10.000 --> 00:19:13.119
We can see which team was on there, and it's been a long time.
00:19:13.359 --> 00:19:17.759
Those teachers aren't even here anymore, and it's been bothering you for weeks.
00:19:17.920 --> 00:19:21.599
You're looking at it, you see it, it's bothering you for weeks.
00:19:21.680 --> 00:19:26.160
So one afternoon, you stay late and you do it.
00:19:26.799 --> 00:19:29.279
Teachers, now that's yours.
00:19:30.000 --> 00:19:35.200
The committee, all the committees we have, this committee, they just need one more person.
00:19:35.359 --> 00:19:39.039
I know there's 150 teachers in the building, but they need one more person.
00:19:39.680 --> 00:19:43.920
The room got quiet, you know, when everyone heard they needed one more person.
00:19:44.480 --> 00:19:46.000
It was just a quiet room.
00:19:46.720 --> 00:19:57.599
And you could feel everybody like waiting, waiting for somebody, anybody to just break that silence and do it.
00:19:58.319 --> 00:20:13.519
So you volunteered, you raised your hand, not because you had the time, not because you you can spare those moments, because the silence was uncomfortable and you knew you could do it.
00:20:15.039 --> 00:20:18.319
A student from last year still stops by your room every morning.
00:20:18.480 --> 00:20:19.519
Gosh, you love that.
00:20:19.839 --> 00:20:20.559
So sweet.
00:20:20.799 --> 00:20:27.039
And you also know that it takes 10 minutes of your morning every single day.
00:20:27.680 --> 00:20:33.359
And you've never once thought about whether you had those 10 minutes to give.
00:20:34.160 --> 00:20:46.400
Teachers, one of the things I want us to notice this week is how often I noticed it, I saw it, I felt it, I sensed it, I noticed it.
00:20:46.640 --> 00:20:50.720
How often that turns into, I guess I need to handle it.
00:20:52.079 --> 00:20:54.079
Those are not the same thing.
00:20:54.319 --> 00:20:59.039
Noticing it and being the one to handle it are not the same thing.
00:20:59.359 --> 00:21:02.079
And that doesn't mean you stop caring.
00:21:02.240 --> 00:21:02.960
That's important.
00:21:03.119 --> 00:21:09.839
I mean, even saying this, I feel like I'm stepping on toes, even my own, because I'm all up in this, okay?
00:21:12.079 --> 00:21:22.079
Because sometimes, guys, the minute we start talking about protecting attention or deciding something isn't ours, you know what shows up?
00:21:22.640 --> 00:21:24.720
Good old-fashioned teacher guilt.
00:21:24.880 --> 00:21:27.039
Guys, there's nothing like teacher guilt.
00:21:27.200 --> 00:21:32.880
Teacher guilt is just overwhelming, it's there, and I see it all the time.
00:21:33.039 --> 00:21:37.359
You start thinking, but what if they really need help?
00:21:37.519 --> 00:21:38.720
Because you're a good teacher.
00:21:38.880 --> 00:21:40.640
You do what good teachers do.
00:21:41.039 --> 00:21:43.279
What if nobody else does it?
00:21:43.599 --> 00:21:46.559
Or what kind of teacher sees something and doesn't step in?
00:21:46.720 --> 00:21:48.000
I've done that one.
00:21:48.640 --> 00:21:53.279
That's exactly why this conversation that we're having right now matters.
00:21:53.519 --> 00:21:59.680
Because caring about something does not automatically mean that it belongs to you.
00:22:01.039 --> 00:22:02.079
And you're a good teacher.
00:22:02.400 --> 00:22:05.519
And this is hard to say, and this is hard to hear.
00:22:06.319 --> 00:22:12.000
Seeing a need does not automatically make you responsible for meeting it.
00:22:13.119 --> 00:22:19.519
Knowing that something could be done does not mean it needs to be done by you.
00:22:20.559 --> 00:22:28.240
And even when something is yours to handle, that still doesn't automatically mean it needs your attention right now.
00:22:28.720 --> 00:22:35.440
You can still make the decision in that empty space as to when the attention will be given.
00:22:36.559 --> 00:22:41.680
Guys, those differences, those distinctions matter.
00:22:42.480 --> 00:22:47.279
Because without them teachers, everything can begin to feel like it's yours.
00:22:47.680 --> 00:22:54.559
I can't tell you how many teachers I have seen that I feel as though they're just going to crumble and fall apart.
00:22:54.799 --> 00:22:58.559
And it honestly is because everything is theirs.
00:22:58.799 --> 00:23:03.839
They see a hole, they see a knee, they see something missing, they jump on it.
00:23:04.240 --> 00:23:08.400
Not because they have time, but because they noticed it and they see it.
00:23:08.480 --> 00:23:11.119
And it's teacher guilt, and that's what we do.
00:23:11.359 --> 00:23:12.960
So they jump on it.
00:23:13.200 --> 00:23:14.559
They try to fix it.
00:23:14.799 --> 00:23:16.799
They try to fill the gap.
00:23:18.000 --> 00:23:26.960
And teachers, when everything feels like it's yours, everything feels like something you've got to fix, everything starts getting access to you.
00:23:28.000 --> 00:23:34.720
Access to your time, your attention, your thoughts, and gosh, y'all, even your emotions.
00:23:35.039 --> 00:23:38.720
Guys, even after you leave school, you can physically be at home.
00:23:38.880 --> 00:23:43.680
Oh my goodness, and still be mentally responding to things that asked for your attention hours ago.
00:23:43.759 --> 00:23:48.799
And I just remember spending quite a bit of time like trying not to do that, like purposefully.
00:23:48.960 --> 00:23:51.519
I'm not gonna do that, I'm not gonna think about that.
00:23:51.839 --> 00:23:53.599
But it's just so hard.
00:23:54.000 --> 00:23:56.319
I'm a good teacher, I'm a good leader.
00:23:56.559 --> 00:23:58.720
I see a hole, I see a gap.
00:23:59.200 --> 00:24:00.079
What can I do?
00:24:00.160 --> 00:24:01.519
How can I fix it?
00:24:01.759 --> 00:24:06.720
I mean, you're sitting there stirring up your dinner and thinking about the student who didn't eat.
00:24:07.920 --> 00:24:14.079
You're sitting with your family and replaying what that parent said over and over again.
00:24:14.559 --> 00:24:15.920
You're in the shower.
00:24:16.079 --> 00:24:18.400
I mean, the shower is a sacred place, guys.
00:24:18.559 --> 00:24:27.759
You're in the shower mentally, mentally rewriting the email you haven't sent yet.
00:24:28.160 --> 00:24:29.119
Over and over again.
00:24:29.200 --> 00:24:32.480
You can't wait to get a hold of that email and write it out.
00:24:32.880 --> 00:24:34.559
You left the building.
00:24:35.039 --> 00:24:38.799
You did, but the building didn't leave you.
00:24:39.440 --> 00:24:43.039
That's part of what we're really trying to interrupt.
00:24:43.200 --> 00:24:49.920
When we're talking about, when I go through things with my framework and I ask you to know that's a name, that's where those words come from.
00:24:50.319 --> 00:25:04.240
We have to interrupt the pressures purposefully, intentionally, in order to move forward and to get to a place where we are the woman we are, the women we are outside of the school.
00:25:04.480 --> 00:25:06.160
I'm not talking about your caring.
00:25:06.240 --> 00:25:07.920
I'm not trying to interrupt that.
00:25:08.000 --> 00:25:13.519
I'm not trying to interrupt your commitment, um, not your ability to notice what your students need.
00:25:13.680 --> 00:25:17.279
Gosh, that is such a great skill, and I'm so thankful to have it.
00:25:17.359 --> 00:25:18.640
I know you are too.
00:25:18.960 --> 00:25:24.319
We're trying to interrupt the idea that everything you notice has earned unlimited access to you.
00:25:24.559 --> 00:25:35.759
Everything you see that is a problem, every gap that you see, every gap that you feel, every everything, everything has has not earned this unlimited access to you, to your emotions, to everything.
00:25:35.839 --> 00:25:36.880
It just hasn't.
00:25:37.039 --> 00:25:43.200
So, what I want you to think about is this, because I know I'm dealing with teachers because I know it because I'm one.
00:25:43.680 --> 00:25:46.960
And caring about things is how we're built.
00:25:47.279 --> 00:25:57.920
But guys, caring about something, wanting something to be fixed, wanting something to be right, wanting something to be taken care of, it does not automatically mean it belongs to you.
00:25:59.839 --> 00:26:05.599
So I want to give you one question to carry with you throughout the week.
00:26:05.680 --> 00:26:13.839
And I'll probably do a couple of other little um social media things and dealing with this podcast and dealing with this.
00:26:14.000 --> 00:26:17.759
But there's one question I want you to carry this week.
00:26:18.000 --> 00:26:18.319
Okay.
00:26:18.960 --> 00:26:20.799
And it's not, does this matter?
00:26:20.960 --> 00:26:22.400
That's not the question.
00:26:22.880 --> 00:26:26.160
Because that's where I think teachers can get stuck.
00:26:26.559 --> 00:26:27.759
A lot of it matters.
00:26:27.920 --> 00:26:30.960
It's not, does this thing coming before me matter?
00:26:31.200 --> 00:26:33.759
Does this this quick moment someone needs from me?
00:26:33.839 --> 00:26:39.440
This email, this this concern, does whatever this is, my coworker, does it matter?
00:26:39.680 --> 00:26:40.880
A lot of it matters.
00:26:41.039 --> 00:26:42.559
So that's the wrong question.
00:26:42.799 --> 00:26:44.240
The student matters.
00:26:44.480 --> 00:26:47.519
That parent matters, that lesson matters, okay?
00:26:47.680 --> 00:26:51.200
The paperwork that you have to complete, oh my gosh, yeah, that matters.
00:26:51.440 --> 00:26:54.079
Your coworker who wanted some help, that matters.
00:26:54.400 --> 00:26:58.400
The email might matter too, maybe not, but it might matter.
00:26:58.640 --> 00:27:03.680
Uh, and whatever problem you're having, whatever problem you're seeing, not having, but seeing, that might matter.
00:27:03.759 --> 00:27:05.759
And we know your family matters.
00:27:05.839 --> 00:27:08.559
And I'm gonna tell you number one is you matter.
00:27:08.880 --> 00:27:10.319
Okay, so the things matter.
00:27:10.400 --> 00:27:12.799
If the question is simply, does this matter?
00:27:13.039 --> 00:27:23.519
If that's the only thing you use as your thermometer, you can end up right back where you started because the answer to almost everything is yes.
00:27:24.160 --> 00:27:25.440
It matters.
00:27:25.920 --> 00:27:27.519
So we've already answered that.
00:27:27.839 --> 00:27:29.440
So you can't ask that question.
00:27:29.599 --> 00:27:31.519
That's not the right question.
00:27:31.920 --> 00:27:34.559
I want you to change the question.
00:27:34.720 --> 00:27:36.559
Don't ask yourself, does this matter?
00:27:36.640 --> 00:27:38.079
Just go ahead and say it, yes, it matters.
00:27:38.160 --> 00:27:38.880
Got it, done.
00:27:38.960 --> 00:27:42.000
Well, sometimes it might not, but most times, yes, it matters.
00:27:42.400 --> 00:27:44.240
Change the question, teachers.
00:27:44.480 --> 00:27:48.319
The question I want you to ask instead of does this matter?
00:27:48.640 --> 00:27:51.839
Is does this need me right now?
00:27:53.519 --> 00:27:57.119
I'm doing these papers, grading papers, so I don't have to stay up tonight doing it.
00:27:57.279 --> 00:28:00.160
Does this that's interrupting?
00:28:00.319 --> 00:28:03.519
Does this need me right now?
00:28:04.480 --> 00:28:08.720
Does this need me right now is different from does this matter?
00:28:08.960 --> 00:28:09.279
Okay.
00:28:10.319 --> 00:28:15.440
Does this, this interruption, this thing need me right now?
00:28:15.759 --> 00:28:19.279
Not eventually, not does it need me today?
00:28:19.599 --> 00:28:22.799
Not because I care about it, because I care about it all.
00:28:23.039 --> 00:28:30.319
Not because I don't want someone to think I'm ignoring them, not because I know I could take care of it quickly.
00:28:30.400 --> 00:28:31.279
I'm seasoned.
00:28:31.440 --> 00:28:34.640
I got this, I could do it right now.
00:28:35.039 --> 00:28:37.599
And again, we're not trying to solve everything this week.
00:28:37.680 --> 00:28:38.480
We we can't.
00:28:38.559 --> 00:28:52.240
I really want to make sure that when we have these conversations and these things come up in your life tonight, tomorrow morning, as soon as you walk in the door, that you remember we we are noticing.
00:28:53.039 --> 00:29:00.559
We're noticing, we're opening our eyes and putting a name describing things that happen.
00:29:00.960 --> 00:29:01.279
Okay.
00:29:02.000 --> 00:29:05.680
Maybe you notice how quickly you open an email when it comes in.
00:29:05.759 --> 00:29:08.880
Just notice it, like you just reach over that little slide in on the right corner.
00:29:08.960 --> 00:29:10.400
I think it's always the right corner.
00:29:10.640 --> 00:29:17.839
Comes in, email quick, and you notice, notice how quickly you you open that email, even though you were doing something else.
00:29:18.000 --> 00:29:22.079
Maybe you notice when someone asks, Do you have a second?
00:29:22.319 --> 00:29:24.640
Your answer is almost automatically yes.
00:29:24.720 --> 00:29:27.599
Like you didn't even hear the full question.
00:29:27.920 --> 00:29:30.160
You already had a yes ready to go.
00:29:30.319 --> 00:29:36.640
Okay, maybe you notice how often you interrupt yourself.
00:29:37.119 --> 00:29:38.400
Yeah, I said it.
00:29:38.799 --> 00:29:42.400
How often you interrupt yourself, guys.
00:29:42.480 --> 00:29:52.079
That's a big one because every pull that we have, every pull doesn't come from somebody else.
00:29:52.480 --> 00:29:59.920
Sometimes you are halfway through something and you remember something else, and suddenly you are doing that.
00:30:00.559 --> 00:30:03.279
You just remembered it, and now you're doing that.
00:30:03.599 --> 00:30:15.359
Then something else comes to mind, and then you see something on your desk, then you remember the email, and 20 minutes later, the thing you originally sat down to do is still sitting there.
00:30:16.559 --> 00:30:18.160
It's like my life.
00:30:18.799 --> 00:30:20.240
I want you to notice it.
00:30:20.640 --> 00:30:27.920
Maybe you notice that certain people have almost automatic access to you.
00:30:30.480 --> 00:30:35.279
Maybe you notice that discomfort gets your attention quickly.
00:30:36.000 --> 00:30:41.200
If something feels unresolved, you want to fix it.
00:30:41.839 --> 00:30:43.039
You don't want that feeling.
00:30:43.839 --> 00:30:50.000
If somebody might be upset, if XYZ, you want to address it.
00:30:50.319 --> 00:30:51.279
That's discomfort.
00:30:52.240 --> 00:30:53.519
It gets your attention quickly.
00:30:53.599 --> 00:30:55.359
I I don't I don't want her to be upset.
00:30:55.519 --> 00:30:57.200
So let me just jump in and address it.
00:30:58.240 --> 00:31:06.160
If you think someone might just be disappointed, disappointed in you, just disappointed in general, your attention goes there.
00:31:07.440 --> 00:31:09.119
I want you to notice that too.
00:31:10.160 --> 00:31:13.920
Because that's information, and that's really what this week is about.
00:31:14.160 --> 00:31:15.519
It's about information.
00:31:16.720 --> 00:31:19.759
What has been getting your attention?
00:31:20.319 --> 00:31:23.200
What gets it automatically?
00:31:23.920 --> 00:31:28.640
What gets it because you consciously choose to give it?
00:31:29.039 --> 00:31:31.200
Consciously choose to give it.
00:31:32.319 --> 00:31:33.920
What gets it because you care?
00:31:34.160 --> 00:31:36.720
What gets it because it arrived loudly?
00:31:37.440 --> 00:31:39.920
It came in loud, so it gets your attention.
00:31:40.079 --> 00:31:43.759
What gets it simply because you've gotten used to responding?
00:31:44.000 --> 00:31:48.000
Guys, for the next few days, I want you to notice.
00:31:48.079 --> 00:31:50.079
I just want you to catch yourself in the moment.
00:31:50.319 --> 00:31:51.200
Just catch yourself.
00:31:51.599 --> 00:31:52.880
Oh, there it is.
00:31:53.519 --> 00:31:56.160
You don't have to change what you do every time.
00:31:56.400 --> 00:31:59.119
Now, if you can, you should.
00:31:59.440 --> 00:32:01.519
But you don't have to do that every time.
00:32:01.839 --> 00:32:10.240
Sometimes you're just gonna notice that pull on you, and you're and you're gonna still decide because you're a teacher, and that's okay.
00:32:10.319 --> 00:32:12.480
This this doesn't happen all at once.
00:32:12.720 --> 00:32:15.119
And you're just gonna decide, yep, this needs me.
00:32:15.279 --> 00:32:17.200
And I want you to know that's fine.
00:32:17.440 --> 00:32:19.440
I don't want you to feel bad about that.
00:32:19.599 --> 00:32:20.960
It's it's gonna happen.
00:32:21.119 --> 00:32:23.680
I mean, it's probably gonna happen as soon as you stop listening to me.
00:32:23.759 --> 00:32:25.440
It might be happening while you're listening to me.
00:32:25.599 --> 00:32:28.079
I want you to know that's fine.
00:32:28.400 --> 00:32:39.920
The goal is to create just enough space in between to recognize that a decision exists, that a decision has to be made.
00:32:40.160 --> 00:32:42.559
Something asks for your attention.
00:32:42.880 --> 00:32:46.559
Pause just long enough to notice it.
00:32:47.279 --> 00:32:51.119
Name what it actually is.
00:32:51.599 --> 00:32:59.519
It's a request, it's an interruption, it's someone else's urgency, it's something important.
00:33:00.000 --> 00:33:05.839
Oh, something that can wait, is something that is mine or something that isn't mine.
00:33:06.079 --> 00:33:07.759
I want you to pause.
00:33:08.720 --> 00:33:10.960
Is it something that matters?
00:33:11.279 --> 00:33:13.279
But does it need me right now?
00:33:14.400 --> 00:33:16.880
Or is it something that matters and needs me right now?
00:33:16.960 --> 00:33:28.400
And then I want you to ask, does this need me right now in that one space before you turn towards it?
00:33:28.799 --> 00:33:37.839
Something comes to you, take that moment, pause, ask yourself, does this need me right now?
00:33:38.000 --> 00:33:41.519
And it's okay if the answer is still yes.
00:33:41.680 --> 00:33:43.680
I don't want you to feel bad about that.
00:33:44.079 --> 00:33:53.119
I just want you to notice that in that pause, in that moment, regardless of how you answer that question, you make a decision.
00:33:54.319 --> 00:33:56.319
I just want you to see that, okay?
00:33:57.200 --> 00:34:06.079
I want it to become a yes you noticed yourself giving instead of a yes that happened automatically.
00:34:06.880 --> 00:34:18.079
So, what I want you to consider at this point is when something reaches for your attention, okay, ask, does this need me right now?
00:34:18.960 --> 00:34:22.400
And let your answer be one you choose.
00:34:23.119 --> 00:34:28.880
Whether it's the answer you would want later on, if you go home, you're like, oh, I should have said this, it doesn't matter.
00:34:29.199 --> 00:34:30.400
Pause a moment.
00:34:30.639 --> 00:34:32.480
Does this need me right now?
00:34:32.800 --> 00:34:42.559
Come up with an answer that you have chosen versus letting it happen automatically because of guilt and whatever else comes to mind.
00:34:43.119 --> 00:34:44.639
So let's bring this together, guys.
00:34:44.719 --> 00:34:48.719
Your attention teachers, it is being requested all day long.
00:34:48.800 --> 00:34:55.280
Uh, I don't know another career that has that on them all day long.
00:34:55.519 --> 00:35:02.400
Before the bell, during class, in the hallway, at lunch, after you get home.
00:35:02.800 --> 00:35:06.000
You have gotten very good at responding.
00:35:06.320 --> 00:35:11.920
So good, guys, that there's almost no space left between something asking and you turning toward it.
00:35:12.159 --> 00:35:17.199
And because you care, the things you notice can start to feel like they all belong to you.
00:35:18.000 --> 00:35:24.480
And when everything, guys, feels like yours, everything gets access to you.
00:35:24.880 --> 00:35:26.960
None of that means you're doing it wrong.
00:35:27.199 --> 00:35:34.159
It means you've been working inside a day that asked for everything, and guys, you've been giving it.
00:35:34.559 --> 00:35:36.320
That's where we start.
00:35:36.639 --> 00:35:43.280
Okay, that is where we're starting with keep the focus, the focus.
00:35:43.840 --> 00:35:52.400
Not with perfect concentration, not with eliminating interruptions, that's impossible, not with squeezing more work into the day.
00:35:52.559 --> 00:35:53.599
We can't do that.
00:35:53.760 --> 00:36:00.480
We're starting with recognizing, noticing that your attention has value.
00:36:01.039 --> 00:36:07.280
And everything that asks for it does not automatically get access to it.
00:36:07.679 --> 00:36:11.440
So for this week, don't try to fix the whole thing.
00:36:11.760 --> 00:36:14.559
Notice it, name it for what it is.
00:36:14.800 --> 00:36:21.679
And when something reaches for your attention, guys, give yourself just enough space to ask, does this need me right now?
00:36:22.719 --> 00:36:23.280
Excuse me.
00:36:23.519 --> 00:36:29.679
This week, guys, we started October by noticing who or what has been deciding where your attention goes.
00:36:30.000 --> 00:36:35.840
Next week, we're gonna take another step because recognizing what deserves your attention is one thing.
00:36:36.320 --> 00:36:43.840
Protecting what you choose once the school day starts, pulling at you is something else entirely.
00:36:44.239 --> 00:36:46.400
That's protect what you choose.
00:36:47.039 --> 00:36:51.199
Week three, we'll talk about what happens after something pulls you off course.
00:36:51.280 --> 00:36:54.320
The interruption happened, the hard class happened, the email happened.
00:36:54.480 --> 00:36:56.239
Does it get the next hour too?
00:36:56.400 --> 00:36:58.159
That one's called the reset.
00:36:58.320 --> 00:37:00.159
And in week four, we'll bring it on home.
00:37:00.320 --> 00:37:01.840
Literally, bring it on home.
00:37:02.079 --> 00:37:05.519
How much of you is a school day allowed to take with you?
00:37:05.840 --> 00:37:10.320
Okay, how much of you is a school day allowed to take with it?
00:37:11.599 --> 00:37:12.400
Teach well.
00:37:13.039 --> 00:37:14.000
Go home.
00:37:14.480 --> 00:37:15.360
Live well.
00:37:15.599 --> 00:37:18.000
My subscribers will know that in just a second.
00:37:18.320 --> 00:37:30.480
Because something asking guys for your attention and something deserving your attention right now are not always the same thing, and learning and learning to recognize difference is part of teaching without losing yourself.
00:37:34.719 --> 00:37:36.159
Notice and name.
00:37:36.320 --> 00:37:43.840
So until I see you again, teachers, give yourself the same care you give everyone else.
00:00:00.959 --> 00:00:04.480
Teachers, I want you to think about something for a minute.
00:00:04.719 --> 00:00:07.919
How many things asked for your attention today?
00:00:08.160 --> 00:00:12.400
Not how many things you actually got done, not how many things were on your list.
00:00:12.880 --> 00:00:24.480
How many things asked you to stop what you were doing, turn toward them, think about them, answer them, fix them, remember them, and carry them.
00:00:24.800 --> 00:00:28.640
Because those are two very different things, guys.
00:00:28.800 --> 00:00:31.839
You walk into school with a plan for your day.
00:00:32.159 --> 00:00:34.079
You know what you need to teach.
00:00:34.320 --> 00:00:36.960
You know what needs to get done during planning.
00:00:37.119 --> 00:00:41.200
You know the one thing you really need to handle before you leave.
00:00:41.359 --> 00:00:42.799
And then the day starts.
00:00:43.039 --> 00:00:45.119
A student needs something before the bell.
00:00:45.280 --> 00:00:47.280
Someone catches you in the hallway.
00:00:47.520 --> 00:00:48.880
There's an announcement.
00:00:49.039 --> 00:00:50.240
An email comes through.
00:00:50.399 --> 00:00:52.320
A parent message needs a response.
00:00:52.479 --> 00:00:54.799
You remember something you forgot yesterday.
00:00:55.039 --> 00:00:58.000
A coworker asks you if you have a minute.
00:00:58.240 --> 00:00:59.920
Then there's a behavior issue.
00:01:00.079 --> 00:01:01.280
Somebody needs coverage.
00:01:01.359 --> 00:01:06.000
You sit down, guys, during planning to do the thing you said you were going to do.
00:01:06.239 --> 00:01:11.120
And before you know it, you're doing three completely different things.
00:01:11.439 --> 00:01:14.079
Here's what makes that really hard for you guys.
00:01:14.239 --> 00:01:16.400
A lot of those things are legitimate.
00:01:16.560 --> 00:01:16.799
Okay.
00:01:16.959 --> 00:01:17.840
These are real things.
00:01:17.920 --> 00:01:19.519
They aren't just distractions.
00:01:19.680 --> 00:01:21.359
They aren't unimportant.
00:01:21.760 --> 00:01:30.959
Some of them absolutely need to be handled, but they do not all deserve equal access to you.
00:01:31.200 --> 00:01:33.200
And that's what we're talking about today.
00:01:33.359 --> 00:01:36.560
Guys, welcome back to Teaching Without Losing Yourself, the podcast.
00:01:36.640 --> 00:01:37.439
I'm Kim.
00:01:37.599 --> 00:01:44.239
I spent 28 years in education and realized at some point that I could not fix what was wrong from the inside.
00:01:44.400 --> 00:01:47.280
So I made the hardest decision of my career and left.
00:01:47.439 --> 00:01:54.959
Because if I could not protect teachers from within the system, I could support them in protecting themselves from outside of it.
00:01:55.280 --> 00:01:57.760
That is why this podcast exists.
00:01:58.239 --> 00:02:03.920
This is After the Bells Beyond the Box, a moment made just for teachers, even on the moon.
00:02:04.079 --> 00:02:08.639
And guys, everything we talk about here is built around one idea.
00:02:09.280 --> 00:02:13.680
You can stay in teaching without losing yourself in the process.
00:02:13.919 --> 00:02:16.319
Guys, nothing here is about fixing you.
00:02:16.560 --> 00:02:23.680
We are here to see things more clearly so you can make better choices inside your days.
00:02:23.840 --> 00:02:28.960
Guys, our theme for October is keep the focus, the focus.
00:02:29.199 --> 00:02:32.319
In September, we spent the month looking at the proof, right?
00:02:32.479 --> 00:02:44.560
The evidence, what you are already handling, what strength actually looks like on a regular school day, how one hard day doesn't get to erase all the weeks of evidence that you have.
00:02:44.960 --> 00:02:48.479
Guys, you proved you could carry a lot, right?
00:02:48.960 --> 00:02:51.039
October asks something different.
00:02:51.199 --> 00:02:53.680
It asks a different question of you guys.
00:02:53.919 --> 00:02:56.719
Not can you carry it?
00:02:56.879 --> 00:02:58.560
We already know the answer to that, right?
00:02:58.800 --> 00:03:00.560
Not can you carry it?
00:03:00.960 --> 00:03:03.360
What gets to be carried?
00:03:03.759 --> 00:03:11.280
And I want to be clear about what I mean by keep the focus, the focus, because this is not going to be a month of me telling you to get more organized.
00:03:11.599 --> 00:03:11.919
Okay.
00:03:12.240 --> 00:03:21.280
I'm not going to tell you that if you make a better to-do list, wake up earlier, manage your time better, or become more productive, you'll finally be able to get everything done.
00:03:21.360 --> 00:03:23.280
No, that's that's not where we're going.
00:03:23.680 --> 00:03:26.319
Because honestly, I don't think that's the problem.
00:03:26.560 --> 00:03:34.400
I think one of the problems is that teachers work in an environment where your attention is constantly being requested.
00:03:34.639 --> 00:03:48.879
And when everything presents itself, shows itself as being important, it becomes very easy, teachers, to start treating everything as if it deserves the same amount of your attention.
00:03:49.039 --> 00:03:50.400
And guys, it doesn't.
00:03:50.639 --> 00:03:54.879
So this month, we're going to talk about focus differently.
00:03:55.039 --> 00:04:02.400
We're going to talk about what gets access to you, what gets your time, what gets your attention.
00:04:02.639 --> 00:04:05.759
Guys, what gets your emotional energy?
00:04:06.080 --> 00:04:10.960
What gets to interrupt what you've already decided matters.
00:04:11.280 --> 00:04:17.279
Over the next few weeks, we're going to talk about protecting what you choose once the day starts pulling at you.
00:04:17.439 --> 00:04:28.079
We're going to talk about what happens when you get pulled away anyway, because you will, and how to reset without calling the whole day a whole loss for you.
00:04:28.240 --> 00:04:28.560
Okay.
00:04:28.720 --> 00:04:38.399
And we're going to talk about teaching well, going home, and guys, actually having something left for the rest of your life.
00:04:38.720 --> 00:04:40.319
But we're not starting there yet.
00:04:40.560 --> 00:04:51.040
Guys, this week, I just want us to notice because before you can protect your focus, you have to recognize what's been getting it, what's been getting the focus.
00:04:51.120 --> 00:04:51.439
Okay.
00:04:51.759 --> 00:04:55.040
So here's the question I want us to hold this week.
00:04:55.199 --> 00:04:56.399
Are you ready?
00:04:56.720 --> 00:05:02.560
Who or what has been deciding where your attention goes?
00:05:03.040 --> 00:05:09.600
Not what should get your attention yet, but who or what has been doing the deciding.
00:05:09.920 --> 00:05:14.800
Teachers, think about a regular school day before you get to the actual teaching part.
00:05:14.959 --> 00:05:16.639
Somebody probably needs you.
00:05:16.800 --> 00:05:18.639
Somebody probably needs something, okay?
00:05:18.879 --> 00:05:20.319
The copier's jam.
00:05:20.720 --> 00:05:25.199
And someone needs you to look at it because you fixed it last time.
00:05:25.279 --> 00:05:27.199
They think you got the magic touch, girl.
00:05:27.360 --> 00:05:31.120
A student is waiting at the door with a question about a missing assignment.
00:05:31.360 --> 00:05:35.519
Your team lead wants to catch you for just 30 seconds about Thursday.
00:05:35.680 --> 00:05:38.319
Something's happening on Thursday, just need 30 seconds.
00:05:38.480 --> 00:05:41.199
There's a note in your box that says, see me.
00:05:41.519 --> 00:05:42.560
You love those, right?
00:05:42.639 --> 00:05:44.560
I know my teachers love those not.
00:05:45.040 --> 00:05:45.600
See me.
00:05:46.079 --> 00:05:50.720
And the first bell hasn't even sounded.
00:05:51.040 --> 00:05:55.439
Once students arrive, guys, you're making decisions constantly.
00:05:55.600 --> 00:05:56.319
It is on.
00:05:56.480 --> 00:05:59.199
You're teaching while watching the student who looks upset.
00:05:59.360 --> 00:06:02.639
You're answering a question while remembering you need to send an email.
00:06:02.800 --> 00:06:05.920
You're redirecting one student while another one is calling your name.
00:06:06.160 --> 00:06:10.079
You are trying to finish one thought while someone needs to go to the nurse.
00:06:10.399 --> 00:06:14.319
Then your phone or computer gives you a notification.
00:06:14.560 --> 00:06:16.240
Then there's an announcement.
00:06:16.480 --> 00:06:18.160
Then someone knocks on the door.
00:06:18.399 --> 00:06:20.160
Then you remember the form that's due.
00:06:20.399 --> 00:06:24.800
Then a student tells you something that absolutely needs your attention.
00:06:24.959 --> 00:06:30.639
And then another student tells you something that absolutely does not need your attention.
00:06:30.879 --> 00:06:35.279
But they are standing directly in front of you, waiting for an answer anyway.
00:06:35.519 --> 00:06:36.480
Oh my goodness.
00:06:36.720 --> 00:06:38.319
I was exhausted saying all that.
00:06:38.560 --> 00:06:39.839
Lord, that's teaching.
00:06:40.079 --> 00:06:41.839
That is teaching in a nutshell.
00:06:42.000 --> 00:06:48.480
Have you ever sat down at lunch teachers and realized you haven't finished a single complete thought since you walked in the building?
00:06:48.800 --> 00:06:54.639
You started one, then started, then something else happened, and something else asked for you, then something else.
00:06:54.720 --> 00:07:00.639
And now it's lunch, and you're eating, standing up because someone needs you to sign something before the kids come back.
00:07:00.959 --> 00:07:04.800
Guys, even the quiet moments get claimed.
00:07:05.040 --> 00:07:07.759
Your students are working independently.
00:07:08.639 --> 00:07:13.920
And for the first time all morning, you just have a second to breathe.
00:07:14.160 --> 00:07:24.560
And that's exactly when a student walks up to your desk, or you glance at your inbox, or you remember you never called that same parent back that we already talked about.
00:07:24.879 --> 00:07:29.040
And it doesn't stop when the last bell rings.
00:07:29.439 --> 00:07:32.639
There's an email that comes in at 4:45.
00:07:33.040 --> 00:07:36.160
The group text from your team at 8:30 at night.
00:07:36.319 --> 00:07:44.079
The message from a parent that you see right before bed, and then think about while you're trying to fall asleep.
00:07:44.399 --> 00:07:49.279
Guys, your attention is being requested all day long.
00:07:50.160 --> 00:07:55.279
And I use the word requested intentionally.
00:07:55.439 --> 00:08:06.160
I'm all about intentionality because I want us to start separating two things that can feel exactly the same in the middle of a busy day.
00:08:06.480 --> 00:08:12.319
Something asking for your attention and something deserving your attention right now.
00:08:12.879 --> 00:08:15.360
Guys, those are two different things.
00:08:15.519 --> 00:08:18.560
They're not always the same, they don't always have the same weight.
00:08:18.800 --> 00:08:24.319
That's the distinction we don't always get to make, especially in the moment when all of that's happening.
00:08:24.399 --> 00:08:26.639
That those could be two different things, okay?
00:08:26.879 --> 00:08:29.600
A request comes in and we answer it.
00:08:30.240 --> 00:08:33.279
A notification pops up and we look.
00:08:33.919 --> 00:08:36.720
Someone asks a question and we stop.
00:08:37.360 --> 00:08:41.759
We remember something and immediately switch over to it.
00:08:42.159 --> 00:08:44.240
Something feels unfinished.
00:08:44.480 --> 00:08:49.200
So part of our mind stays there even while we're supposed to be doing something else.
00:08:49.360 --> 00:08:54.960
And guys, by the end of the day, you can feel like you have been moving non-stop.
00:08:56.000 --> 00:08:56.960
Guess what?
00:08:57.279 --> 00:08:57.919
You have.
00:08:59.279 --> 00:09:05.840
But when you think back over the day, sometimes it's hard to figure out where all of your attention actually went.
00:09:06.159 --> 00:09:07.840
You know you were busy.
00:09:08.080 --> 00:09:09.279
You know that.
00:09:09.600 --> 00:09:11.919
You know you were tired.
00:09:12.720 --> 00:09:15.200
You know you never stopped.
00:09:15.519 --> 00:09:23.120
But the thing you actually meant to do, the thing you decided mattered this morning at the beginning of the morning, it's still sitting there.
00:09:23.360 --> 00:09:25.200
And that's not because you were lazy.
00:09:25.360 --> 00:09:28.960
I I haven't met many lazy teachers in my life, to be honest.
00:09:29.279 --> 00:09:32.879
It's not because you don't know how to manage your time.
00:09:33.360 --> 00:09:41.840
It's because when everything that asks for you gets in, the day starts deciding for you.
00:09:42.559 --> 00:09:44.960
That's something I want you to notice this week.
00:09:45.120 --> 00:09:46.559
Not judge it, not fix it.
00:09:46.639 --> 00:09:48.159
I just want you to notice it.
00:09:48.480 --> 00:09:52.320
What keeps asking for your attention?
00:09:52.639 --> 00:10:04.799
So the shift I want you to consider is this something asking for your attention, and guys, something deserving your attention right now, they're not always the same thing.
00:10:05.279 --> 00:10:11.120
There's another part of this that I think happens after you've been teaching for a while.
00:10:11.440 --> 00:10:14.320
You get really good at responding.
00:10:14.480 --> 00:10:16.399
I mean, you you almost have to.
00:10:16.559 --> 00:10:19.519
Uh, you learn how to pivot quickly.
00:10:19.759 --> 00:10:22.799
You learn how to answer a question while doing something else.
00:10:23.039 --> 00:10:30.399
You learn how to notice what's happening across the room, way in that corner while you're talking to the student standing in front of you.
00:10:30.480 --> 00:10:32.159
It's like that corner of your eyes twitching.
00:10:32.240 --> 00:10:33.200
You already know.
00:10:33.519 --> 00:10:37.519
You learn how to adjust when the schedule changes.
00:10:37.840 --> 00:10:41.039
Teachers, you learn how to handle interruptions.
00:10:41.279 --> 00:10:43.840
You learn how to keep it moving.
00:10:44.080 --> 00:10:46.159
Those are skills, and know it.
00:10:46.240 --> 00:10:49.360
These are real skills, the kind we talked about all through September.
00:10:49.440 --> 00:10:50.879
Those are skills.
00:10:51.279 --> 00:10:56.879
But there can also be a downside to becoming really good at responding.
00:10:57.200 --> 00:11:03.759
You can get so used to turning toward the next thing that you stop noticing what you're doing.
00:11:03.919 --> 00:11:06.080
Something comes in and you respond, okay?
00:11:06.320 --> 00:11:11.440
Or something happens and you turn towards that, or somebody asks and you answer.
00:11:12.159 --> 00:11:14.960
You remember something and you switch.
00:11:15.279 --> 00:11:23.440
There's almost no space between something asking for your attention and you giving it your attention.
00:11:23.679 --> 00:11:25.360
Does that sound familiar to you?
00:11:25.519 --> 00:11:27.120
I know it does to me.
00:11:27.600 --> 00:11:35.200
You're in the middle of entering grades, you finally get your rhythm going, think about it, and the notification slides into the corner of your screen.
00:11:35.360 --> 00:11:37.919
Guys, I hate that little slide in the corner of my screen.
00:11:38.159 --> 00:11:44.799
You click it, and before you've even finished reading it, you're already writing the response in your head.
00:11:45.200 --> 00:11:52.879
Ten minutes later, you've answered that email, open to more, and forwarded something to the team.
00:11:53.120 --> 00:11:57.200
And the grades are exactly where you left them.
00:11:57.679 --> 00:11:59.279
Or how about this one?
00:11:59.759 --> 00:12:10.399
One of your favorite coworkers, or not favorite, take, take, take your pick, leans into your doorway and says to you, Hey, do you have a second girl?
00:12:10.879 --> 00:12:13.840
And you're nodding before they finish the sentence.
00:12:14.000 --> 00:12:15.200
You didn't decide.
00:12:15.360 --> 00:12:19.279
You're nodding to the question, did do you have a second?
00:12:19.519 --> 00:12:21.200
And you didn't decide.
00:12:21.440 --> 00:12:22.879
You just said yes.
00:12:22.960 --> 00:12:23.600
And why?
00:12:23.759 --> 00:12:25.360
Because that's what you do.
00:12:26.080 --> 00:12:27.519
That's what you do.
00:12:27.840 --> 00:12:29.759
Tell them if that sounds like you.
00:12:30.320 --> 00:12:31.200
Or what about this?
00:12:31.360 --> 00:12:35.279
You pick up your phone to check the time, just the time.
00:12:35.679 --> 00:12:37.519
That's all you wanted was a time.
00:12:38.240 --> 00:12:40.080
And there's a message on your phone.
00:12:40.240 --> 00:12:41.759
Take that email off your phone.
00:12:41.919 --> 00:12:48.320
And there's a message from the parent group and a reminder from the school app and a text from your sister.
00:12:48.559 --> 00:12:52.799
And by the time you put that phone down, you still don't know what time it is.
00:12:52.960 --> 00:12:55.600
Like that was the whole point was to get the time.
00:12:55.759 --> 00:12:58.720
And you've done everything and you have no clue what time it is.
00:12:58.960 --> 00:13:01.759
Now, sometimes that immediate response is necessary.
00:13:01.919 --> 00:13:03.440
Please don't get me wrong.
00:13:03.600 --> 00:13:04.720
I know the word.
00:13:05.039 --> 00:13:07.919
Sometimes that immediate response is necessary.
00:13:08.159 --> 00:13:13.759
If a student is hurt, you don't need to sit there and evaluate whether the situation deserves access to you.
00:13:13.919 --> 00:13:15.679
It does deserve access to you.
00:13:15.840 --> 00:13:18.480
If there's a safety issue, you respond.
00:13:18.720 --> 00:13:22.960
If something truly needs to happen right now, teacher, you handle it.
00:13:23.200 --> 00:13:26.559
We're not pretending teachers have complete control over their days.
00:13:26.639 --> 00:13:27.360
You don't.
00:13:27.600 --> 00:13:29.519
We all know that you don't.
00:13:30.000 --> 00:13:31.919
But everything isn't that.
00:13:32.480 --> 00:13:34.879
Everything isn't at that level, okay?
00:13:35.120 --> 00:13:57.919
And I think that's where it gets kind of interesting because when you spent years, teachers, especially those who are like me with 28 years or 10 years or five years, honestly, at this point, one, but when you spent years really getting good at responding quickly, you can start responding quickly to things that don't actually require an immediate response.
00:13:58.399 --> 00:14:02.399
Some things don't require an immediate response.
00:14:02.720 --> 00:14:08.799
The email, the one that you answered, that took 10 minutes, it isn't going anywhere.
00:14:09.360 --> 00:14:14.240
That form, that can wait 20 minutes so you can finish what you're doing.
00:14:14.480 --> 00:14:20.399
The thought you just had doesn't require you to stop what you're doing and start something else.
00:14:21.519 --> 00:14:27.600
The request might be legitimate without being immediate.
00:14:28.480 --> 00:14:35.120
What is pulling you might be real, legitimate, something that does need to be responded to.
00:14:35.600 --> 00:14:37.840
But it doesn't have to be right now.
00:14:38.480 --> 00:14:40.240
It doesn't have to be immediate.
00:14:40.639 --> 00:14:40.960
Okay.
00:14:41.440 --> 00:14:55.840
But if the habit is something as I turned, something asks I turn, you may never even get to the point where you decide if it's immediate.
00:15:00.960 --> 00:15:04.799
Every time you turn, you have to find your way back.
00:15:05.039 --> 00:15:09.600
Back to the lesson, back to the grading, back to the thought you were in the middle of.
00:15:09.919 --> 00:15:12.559
And finding your way back takes something, guys.
00:15:12.639 --> 00:15:13.840
It takes energy.
00:15:13.919 --> 00:15:16.480
You don't always notice your spending.
00:15:16.799 --> 00:15:19.200
Do that 30, 40, 50 times a day.
00:15:19.279 --> 00:15:20.240
And you do.
00:15:20.799 --> 00:15:25.039
And it's no wonder you're exhausted in a way that doesn't match what you actually got done.
00:15:25.120 --> 00:15:27.039
You're thinking, what did I get done today?
00:15:27.200 --> 00:15:29.600
Oh, you know, if you are completely exhausted.
00:15:29.759 --> 00:15:32.879
Well, I mean, 30, 40, 50 times a day.
00:15:33.120 --> 00:15:34.559
You're you're doing that.
00:15:34.879 --> 00:15:38.080
So here's another thing to notice this week.
00:15:38.320 --> 00:15:47.919
I want you to notice how often do you turn towards something before you actually decide it whether it needs you?
00:15:48.879 --> 00:16:01.679
How often do you stop the grading, stop the thought process, stop what you're doing, and turn to do something else before you've actually decided, okay, does this need me immediately?
00:16:02.799 --> 00:16:19.840
So what I want you to consider is there there is a decision, teachers, that lives, that lives, that that that is in the space between something asking, okay, and you turning towards it.
00:16:21.120 --> 00:16:27.759
A decision is in that space between something asks and you turning toward it.
00:16:27.840 --> 00:16:30.639
Even if you don't hear it, see it, feel it.
00:16:31.279 --> 00:16:32.240
It is there.
00:16:33.919 --> 00:16:38.240
And you are allowed to make that decision.
00:16:38.879 --> 00:16:39.200
Okay.
00:16:40.480 --> 00:16:50.559
This is where I think we need to think a little bit more, okay, and just go a little bit deeper for you guys because we're not only talking about interruptions.
00:16:50.639 --> 00:16:52.879
And you know, those are easy.
00:16:53.360 --> 00:16:54.720
We do that all the time.
00:16:54.879 --> 00:17:01.200
We we see those all the time, and we can chit-chat about interruptions, but we're also talking about something else.
00:17:01.360 --> 00:17:03.039
We're we're talking about caring.
00:17:03.919 --> 00:17:05.359
Yeah, I said that caring.
00:17:06.319 --> 00:17:08.960
Teachers are just amazing people.
00:17:09.039 --> 00:17:10.480
You you notice things.
00:17:11.680 --> 00:17:15.519
You notice you notice the student who didn't eat.
00:17:16.960 --> 00:17:22.160
You notice the student whose behavior is different today.
00:17:22.319 --> 00:17:24.079
You're he's not the same.
00:17:24.799 --> 00:17:27.359
You notice that another teacher is struggling.
00:17:28.160 --> 00:17:28.880
You can see it.
00:17:29.440 --> 00:17:31.920
You can feel it, you can hear it in her voice.
00:17:32.079 --> 00:17:38.000
You notice something that needs to be done just because it needs to be done.
00:17:39.279 --> 00:17:46.880
You notice the parent who, regardless of what they say and how they say it, you notice their worry.
00:17:47.920 --> 00:17:51.599
Teachers, you notice the problem nobody else has handled yet.
00:17:52.480 --> 00:17:54.799
That's just the work you do.
00:17:55.039 --> 00:17:59.279
You notice when something could be better.
00:18:00.000 --> 00:18:10.640
And because you, teacher, because you care, noticing something can very quickly turn into feeling responsible for it.
00:18:11.599 --> 00:18:15.039
I saw it, so maybe I should handle it.
00:18:16.240 --> 00:18:20.079
I know about it, so maybe I should fix it.
00:18:20.799 --> 00:18:21.519
I could help.
00:18:21.599 --> 00:18:23.599
I mean, I I know I know how to do this.
00:18:23.759 --> 00:18:24.960
I could help.
00:18:25.279 --> 00:18:26.880
So maybe I should.
00:18:28.079 --> 00:18:29.039
My favorite.
00:18:29.680 --> 00:18:34.960
Nobody else is gonna do it, so I guess it's mine.
00:18:35.599 --> 00:18:36.799
Have you been there before?
00:18:36.880 --> 00:18:38.079
Does that sound familiar?
00:18:38.240 --> 00:18:41.440
I know I have lots of hands and amens out there.
00:18:41.839 --> 00:18:45.039
The new teacher across the hall looks overwhelmed.
00:18:45.279 --> 00:18:48.559
So, you know, you start checking in on her every afternoon.
00:18:48.640 --> 00:18:50.079
You you noticed.
00:18:50.400 --> 00:18:56.720
Then you're sharing your plans, then you're helping her set up her grade book.
00:18:56.880 --> 00:18:58.559
Again, you noticed.
00:18:59.440 --> 00:19:03.759
And somewhere along the way, her first year becomes part of your job.
00:19:04.000 --> 00:19:05.440
It's your new job.
00:19:05.920 --> 00:19:09.920
The bulletin board in the hallway, my goodness, it hasn't been changed since last spring.
00:19:10.000 --> 00:19:13.119
We can see which team was on there, and it's been a long time.
00:19:13.359 --> 00:19:17.759
Those teachers aren't even here anymore, and it's been bothering you for weeks.
00:19:17.920 --> 00:19:21.599
You're looking at it, you see it, it's bothering you for weeks.
00:19:21.680 --> 00:19:26.160
So one afternoon, you stay late and you do it.
00:19:26.799 --> 00:19:29.279
Teachers, now that's yours.
00:19:30.000 --> 00:19:35.200
The committee, all the committees we have, this committee, they just need one more person.
00:19:35.359 --> 00:19:39.039
I know there's 150 teachers in the building, but they need one more person.
00:19:39.680 --> 00:19:43.920
The room got quiet, you know, when everyone heard they needed one more person.
00:19:44.480 --> 00:19:46.000
It was just a quiet room.
00:19:46.720 --> 00:19:57.599
And you could feel everybody like waiting, waiting for somebody, anybody to just break that silence and do it.
00:19:58.319 --> 00:20:13.519
So you volunteered, you raised your hand, not because you had the time, not because you you can spare those moments, because the silence was uncomfortable and you knew you could do it.
00:20:15.039 --> 00:20:18.319
A student from last year still stops by your room every morning.
00:20:18.480 --> 00:20:19.519
Gosh, you love that.
00:20:19.839 --> 00:20:20.559
So sweet.
00:20:20.799 --> 00:20:27.039
And you also know that it takes 10 minutes of your morning every single day.
00:20:27.680 --> 00:20:33.359
And you've never once thought about whether you had those 10 minutes to give.
00:20:34.160 --> 00:20:46.400
Teachers, one of the things I want us to notice this week is how often I noticed it, I saw it, I felt it, I sensed it, I noticed it.
00:20:46.640 --> 00:20:50.720
How often that turns into, I guess I need to handle it.
00:20:52.079 --> 00:20:54.079
Those are not the same thing.
00:20:54.319 --> 00:20:59.039
Noticing it and being the one to handle it are not the same thing.
00:20:59.359 --> 00:21:02.079
And that doesn't mean you stop caring.
00:21:02.240 --> 00:21:02.960
That's important.
00:21:03.119 --> 00:21:09.839
I mean, even saying this, I feel like I'm stepping on toes, even my own, because I'm all up in this, okay?
00:21:12.079 --> 00:21:22.079
Because sometimes, guys, the minute we start talking about protecting attention or deciding something isn't ours, you know what shows up?
00:21:22.640 --> 00:21:24.720
Good old-fashioned teacher guilt.
00:21:24.880 --> 00:21:27.039
Guys, there's nothing like teacher guilt.
00:21:27.200 --> 00:21:32.880
Teacher guilt is just overwhelming, it's there, and I see it all the time.
00:21:33.039 --> 00:21:37.359
You start thinking, but what if they really need help?
00:21:37.519 --> 00:21:38.720
Because you're a good teacher.
00:21:38.880 --> 00:21:40.640
You do what good teachers do.
00:21:41.039 --> 00:21:43.279
What if nobody else does it?
00:21:43.599 --> 00:21:46.559
Or what kind of teacher sees something and doesn't step in?
00:21:46.720 --> 00:21:48.000
I've done that one.
00:21:48.640 --> 00:21:53.279
That's exactly why this conversation that we're having right now matters.
00:21:53.519 --> 00:21:59.680
Because caring about something does not automatically mean that it belongs to you.
00:22:01.039 --> 00:22:02.079
And you're a good teacher.
00:22:02.400 --> 00:22:05.519
And this is hard to say, and this is hard to hear.
00:22:06.319 --> 00:22:12.000
Seeing a need does not automatically make you responsible for meeting it.
00:22:13.119 --> 00:22:19.519
Knowing that something could be done does not mean it needs to be done by you.
00:22:20.559 --> 00:22:28.240
And even when something is yours to handle, that still doesn't automatically mean it needs your attention right now.
00:22:28.720 --> 00:22:35.440
You can still make the decision in that empty space as to when the attention will be given.
00:22:36.559 --> 00:22:41.680
Guys, those differences, those distinctions matter.
00:22:42.480 --> 00:22:47.279
Because without them teachers, everything can begin to feel like it's yours.
00:22:47.680 --> 00:22:54.559
I can't tell you how many teachers I have seen that I feel as though they're just going to crumble and fall apart.
00:22:54.799 --> 00:22:58.559
And it honestly is because everything is theirs.
00:22:58.799 --> 00:23:03.839
They see a hole, they see a knee, they see something missing, they jump on it.
00:23:04.240 --> 00:23:08.400
Not because they have time, but because they noticed it and they see it.
00:23:08.480 --> 00:23:11.119
And it's teacher guilt, and that's what we do.
00:23:11.359 --> 00:23:12.960
So they jump on it.
00:23:13.200 --> 00:23:14.559
They try to fix it.
00:23:14.799 --> 00:23:16.799
They try to fill the gap.
00:23:18.000 --> 00:23:26.960
And teachers, when everything feels like it's yours, everything feels like something you've got to fix, everything starts getting access to you.
00:23:28.000 --> 00:23:34.720
Access to your time, your attention, your thoughts, and gosh, y'all, even your emotions.
00:23:35.039 --> 00:23:38.720
Guys, even after you leave school, you can physically be at home.
00:23:38.880 --> 00:23:43.680
Oh my goodness, and still be mentally responding to things that asked for your attention hours ago.
00:23:43.759 --> 00:23:48.799
And I just remember spending quite a bit of time like trying not to do that, like purposefully.
00:23:48.960 --> 00:23:51.519
I'm not gonna do that, I'm not gonna think about that.
00:23:51.839 --> 00:23:53.599
But it's just so hard.
00:23:54.000 --> 00:23:56.319
I'm a good teacher, I'm a good leader.
00:23:56.559 --> 00:23:58.720
I see a hole, I see a gap.
00:23:59.200 --> 00:24:00.079
What can I do?
00:24:00.160 --> 00:24:01.519
How can I fix it?
00:24:01.759 --> 00:24:06.720
I mean, you're sitting there stirring up your dinner and thinking about the student who didn't eat.
00:24:07.920 --> 00:24:14.079
You're sitting with your family and replaying what that parent said over and over again.
00:24:14.559 --> 00:24:15.920
You're in the shower.
00:24:16.079 --> 00:24:18.400
I mean, the shower is a sacred place, guys.
00:24:18.559 --> 00:24:27.759
You're in the shower mentally, mentally rewriting the email you haven't sent yet.
00:24:28.160 --> 00:24:29.119
Over and over again.
00:24:29.200 --> 00:24:32.480
You can't wait to get a hold of that email and write it out.
00:24:32.880 --> 00:24:34.559
You left the building.
00:24:35.039 --> 00:24:38.799
You did, but the building didn't leave you.
00:24:39.440 --> 00:24:43.039
That's part of what we're really trying to interrupt.
00:24:43.200 --> 00:24:49.920
When we're talking about, when I go through things with my framework and I ask you to know that's a name, that's where those words come from.
00:24:50.319 --> 00:25:04.240
We have to interrupt the pressures purposefully, intentionally, in order to move forward and to get to a place where we are the woman we are, the women we are outside of the school.
00:25:04.480 --> 00:25:06.160
I'm not talking about your caring.
00:25:06.240 --> 00:25:07.920
I'm not trying to interrupt that.
00:25:08.000 --> 00:25:13.519
I'm not trying to interrupt your commitment, um, not your ability to notice what your students need.
00:25:13.680 --> 00:25:17.279
Gosh, that is such a great skill, and I'm so thankful to have it.
00:25:17.359 --> 00:25:18.640
I know you are too.
00:25:18.960 --> 00:25:24.319
We're trying to interrupt the idea that everything you notice has earned unlimited access to you.
00:25:24.559 --> 00:25:35.759
Everything you see that is a problem, every gap that you see, every gap that you feel, every everything, everything has has not earned this unlimited access to you, to your emotions, to everything.
00:25:35.839 --> 00:25:36.880
It just hasn't.
00:25:37.039 --> 00:25:43.200
So, what I want you to think about is this, because I know I'm dealing with teachers because I know it because I'm one.
00:25:43.680 --> 00:25:46.960
And caring about things is how we're built.
00:25:47.279 --> 00:25:57.920
But guys, caring about something, wanting something to be fixed, wanting something to be right, wanting something to be taken care of, it does not automatically mean it belongs to you.
00:25:59.839 --> 00:26:05.599
So I want to give you one question to carry with you throughout the week.
00:26:05.680 --> 00:26:13.839
And I'll probably do a couple of other little um social media things and dealing with this podcast and dealing with this.
00:26:14.000 --> 00:26:17.759
But there's one question I want you to carry this week.
00:26:18.000 --> 00:26:18.319
Okay.
00:26:18.960 --> 00:26:20.799
And it's not, does this matter?
00:26:20.960 --> 00:26:22.400
That's not the question.
00:26:22.880 --> 00:26:26.160
Because that's where I think teachers can get stuck.
00:26:26.559 --> 00:26:27.759
A lot of it matters.
00:26:27.920 --> 00:26:30.960
It's not, does this thing coming before me matter?
00:26:31.200 --> 00:26:33.759
Does this this quick moment someone needs from me?
00:26:33.839 --> 00:26:39.440
This email, this this concern, does whatever this is, my coworker, does it matter?
00:26:39.680 --> 00:26:40.880
A lot of it matters.
00:26:41.039 --> 00:26:42.559
So that's the wrong question.
00:26:42.799 --> 00:26:44.240
The student matters.
00:26:44.480 --> 00:26:47.519
That parent matters, that lesson matters, okay?
00:26:47.680 --> 00:26:51.200
The paperwork that you have to complete, oh my gosh, yeah, that matters.
00:26:51.440 --> 00:26:54.079
Your coworker who wanted some help, that matters.
00:26:54.400 --> 00:26:58.400
The email might matter too, maybe not, but it might matter.
00:26:58.640 --> 00:27:03.680
Uh, and whatever problem you're having, whatever problem you're seeing, not having, but seeing, that might matter.
00:27:03.759 --> 00:27:05.759
And we know your family matters.
00:27:05.839 --> 00:27:08.559
And I'm gonna tell you number one is you matter.
00:27:08.880 --> 00:27:10.319
Okay, so the things matter.
00:27:10.400 --> 00:27:12.799
If the question is simply, does this matter?
00:27:13.039 --> 00:27:23.519
If that's the only thing you use as your thermometer, you can end up right back where you started because the answer to almost everything is yes.
00:27:24.160 --> 00:27:25.440
It matters.
00:27:25.920 --> 00:27:27.519
So we've already answered that.
00:27:27.839 --> 00:27:29.440
So you can't ask that question.
00:27:29.599 --> 00:27:31.519
That's not the right question.
00:27:31.920 --> 00:27:34.559
I want you to change the question.
00:27:34.720 --> 00:27:36.559
Don't ask yourself, does this matter?
00:27:36.640 --> 00:27:38.079
Just go ahead and say it, yes, it matters.
00:27:38.160 --> 00:27:38.880
Got it, done.
00:27:38.960 --> 00:27:42.000
Well, sometimes it might not, but most times, yes, it matters.
00:27:42.400 --> 00:27:44.240
Change the question, teachers.
00:27:44.480 --> 00:27:48.319
The question I want you to ask instead of does this matter?
00:27:48.640 --> 00:27:51.839
Is does this need me right now?
00:27:53.519 --> 00:27:57.119
I'm doing these papers, grading papers, so I don't have to stay up tonight doing it.
00:27:57.279 --> 00:28:00.160
Does this that's interrupting?
00:28:00.319 --> 00:28:03.519
Does this need me right now?
00:28:04.480 --> 00:28:08.720
Does this need me right now is different from does this matter?
00:28:08.960 --> 00:28:09.279
Okay.
00:28:10.319 --> 00:28:15.440
Does this, this interruption, this thing need me right now?
00:28:15.759 --> 00:28:19.279
Not eventually, not does it need me today?
00:28:19.599 --> 00:28:22.799
Not because I care about it, because I care about it all.
00:28:23.039 --> 00:28:30.319
Not because I don't want someone to think I'm ignoring them, not because I know I could take care of it quickly.
00:28:30.400 --> 00:28:31.279
I'm seasoned.
00:28:31.440 --> 00:28:34.640
I got this, I could do it right now.
00:28:35.039 --> 00:28:37.599
And again, we're not trying to solve everything this week.
00:28:37.680 --> 00:28:38.480
We we can't.
00:28:38.559 --> 00:28:52.240
I really want to make sure that when we have these conversations and these things come up in your life tonight, tomorrow morning, as soon as you walk in the door, that you remember we we are noticing.
00:28:53.039 --> 00:29:00.559
We're noticing, we're opening our eyes and putting a name describing things that happen.
00:29:00.960 --> 00:29:01.279
Okay.
00:29:02.000 --> 00:29:05.680
Maybe you notice how quickly you open an email when it comes in.
00:29:05.759 --> 00:29:08.880
Just notice it, like you just reach over that little slide in on the right corner.
00:29:08.960 --> 00:29:10.400
I think it's always the right corner.
00:29:10.640 --> 00:29:17.839
Comes in, email quick, and you notice, notice how quickly you you open that email, even though you were doing something else.
00:29:18.000 --> 00:29:22.079
Maybe you notice when someone asks, Do you have a second?
00:29:22.319 --> 00:29:24.640
Your answer is almost automatically yes.
00:29:24.720 --> 00:29:27.599
Like you didn't even hear the full question.
00:29:27.920 --> 00:29:30.160
You already had a yes ready to go.
00:29:30.319 --> 00:29:36.640
Okay, maybe you notice how often you interrupt yourself.
00:29:37.119 --> 00:29:38.400
Yeah, I said it.
00:29:38.799 --> 00:29:42.400
How often you interrupt yourself, guys.
00:29:42.480 --> 00:29:52.079
That's a big one because every pull that we have, every pull doesn't come from somebody else.
00:29:52.480 --> 00:29:59.920
Sometimes you are halfway through something and you remember something else, and suddenly you are doing that.
00:30:00.559 --> 00:30:03.279
You just remembered it, and now you're doing that.
00:30:03.599 --> 00:30:15.359
Then something else comes to mind, and then you see something on your desk, then you remember the email, and 20 minutes later, the thing you originally sat down to do is still sitting there.
00:30:16.559 --> 00:30:18.160
It's like my life.
00:30:18.799 --> 00:30:20.240
I want you to notice it.
00:30:20.640 --> 00:30:27.920
Maybe you notice that certain people have almost automatic access to you.
00:30:30.480 --> 00:30:35.279
Maybe you notice that discomfort gets your attention quickly.
00:30:36.000 --> 00:30:41.200
If something feels unresolved, you want to fix it.
00:30:41.839 --> 00:30:43.039
You don't want that feeling.
00:30:43.839 --> 00:30:50.000
If somebody might be upset, if XYZ, you want to address it.
00:30:50.319 --> 00:30:51.279
That's discomfort.
00:30:52.240 --> 00:30:53.519
It gets your attention quickly.
00:30:53.599 --> 00:30:55.359
I I don't I don't want her to be upset.
00:30:55.519 --> 00:30:57.200
So let me just jump in and address it.
00:30:58.240 --> 00:31:06.160
If you think someone might just be disappointed, disappointed in you, just disappointed in general, your attention goes there.
00:31:07.440 --> 00:31:09.119
I want you to notice that too.
00:31:10.160 --> 00:31:13.920
Because that's information, and that's really what this week is about.
00:31:14.160 --> 00:31:15.519
It's about information.
00:31:16.720 --> 00:31:19.759
What has been getting your attention?
00:31:20.319 --> 00:31:23.200
What gets it automatically?
00:31:23.920 --> 00:31:28.640
What gets it because you consciously choose to give it?
00:31:29.039 --> 00:31:31.200
Consciously choose to give it.
00:31:32.319 --> 00:31:33.920
What gets it because you care?
00:31:34.160 --> 00:31:36.720
What gets it because it arrived loudly?
00:31:37.440 --> 00:31:39.920
It came in loud, so it gets your attention.
00:31:40.079 --> 00:31:43.759
What gets it simply because you've gotten used to responding?
00:31:44.000 --> 00:31:48.000
Guys, for the next few days, I want you to notice.
00:31:48.079 --> 00:31:50.079
I just want you to catch yourself in the moment.
00:31:50.319 --> 00:31:51.200
Just catch yourself.
00:31:51.599 --> 00:31:52.880
Oh, there it is.
00:31:53.519 --> 00:31:56.160
You don't have to change what you do every time.
00:31:56.400 --> 00:31:59.119
Now, if you can, you should.
00:31:59.440 --> 00:32:01.519
But you don't have to do that every time.
00:32:01.839 --> 00:32:10.240
Sometimes you're just gonna notice that pull on you, and you're and you're gonna still decide because you're a teacher, and that's okay.
00:32:10.319 --> 00:32:12.480
This this doesn't happen all at once.
00:32:12.720 --> 00:32:15.119
And you're just gonna decide, yep, this needs me.
00:32:15.279 --> 00:32:17.200
And I want you to know that's fine.
00:32:17.440 --> 00:32:19.440
I don't want you to feel bad about that.
00:32:19.599 --> 00:32:20.960
It's it's gonna happen.
00:32:21.119 --> 00:32:23.680
I mean, it's probably gonna happen as soon as you stop listening to me.
00:32:23.759 --> 00:32:25.440
It might be happening while you're listening to me.
00:32:25.599 --> 00:32:28.079
I want you to know that's fine.
00:32:28.400 --> 00:32:39.920
The goal is to create just enough space in between to recognize that a decision exists, that a decision has to be made.
00:32:40.160 --> 00:32:42.559
Something asks for your attention.
00:32:42.880 --> 00:32:46.559
Pause just long enough to notice it.
00:32:47.279 --> 00:32:51.119
Name what it actually is.
00:32:51.599 --> 00:32:59.519
It's a request, it's an interruption, it's someone else's urgency, it's something important.
00:33:00.000 --> 00:33:05.839
Oh, something that can wait, is something that is mine or something that isn't mine.
00:33:06.079 --> 00:33:07.759
I want you to pause.
00:33:08.720 --> 00:33:10.960
Is it something that matters?
00:33:11.279 --> 00:33:13.279
But does it need me right now?
00:33:14.400 --> 00:33:16.880
Or is it something that matters and needs me right now?
00:33:16.960 --> 00:33:28.400
And then I want you to ask, does this need me right now in that one space before you turn towards it?
00:33:28.799 --> 00:33:37.839
Something comes to you, take that moment, pause, ask yourself, does this need me right now?
00:33:38.000 --> 00:33:41.519
And it's okay if the answer is still yes.
00:33:41.680 --> 00:33:43.680
I don't want you to feel bad about that.
00:33:44.079 --> 00:33:53.119
I just want you to notice that in that pause, in that moment, regardless of how you answer that question, you make a decision.
00:33:54.319 --> 00:33:56.319
I just want you to see that, okay?
00:33:57.200 --> 00:34:06.079
I want it to become a yes you noticed yourself giving instead of a yes that happened automatically.
00:34:06.880 --> 00:34:18.079
So, what I want you to consider at this point is when something reaches for your attention, okay, ask, does this need me right now?
00:34:18.960 --> 00:34:22.400
And let your answer be one you choose.
00:34:23.119 --> 00:34:28.880
Whether it's the answer you would want later on, if you go home, you're like, oh, I should have said this, it doesn't matter.
00:34:29.199 --> 00:34:30.400
Pause a moment.
00:34:30.639 --> 00:34:32.480
Does this need me right now?
00:34:32.800 --> 00:34:42.559
Come up with an answer that you have chosen versus letting it happen automatically because of guilt and whatever else comes to mind.
00:34:43.119 --> 00:34:44.639
So let's bring this together, guys.
00:34:44.719 --> 00:34:48.719
Your attention teachers, it is being requested all day long.
00:34:48.800 --> 00:34:55.280
Uh, I don't know another career that has that on them all day long.
00:34:55.519 --> 00:35:02.400
Before the bell, during class, in the hallway, at lunch, after you get home.
00:35:02.800 --> 00:35:06.000
You have gotten very good at responding.
00:35:06.320 --> 00:35:11.920
So good, guys, that there's almost no space left between something asking and you turning toward it.
00:35:12.159 --> 00:35:17.199
And because you care, the things you notice can start to feel like they all belong to you.
00:35:18.000 --> 00:35:24.480
And when everything, guys, feels like yours, everything gets access to you.
00:35:24.880 --> 00:35:26.960
None of that means you're doing it wrong.
00:35:27.199 --> 00:35:34.159
It means you've been working inside a day that asked for everything, and guys, you've been giving it.
00:35:34.559 --> 00:35:36.320
That's where we start.
00:35:36.639 --> 00:35:43.280
Okay, that is where we're starting with keep the focus, the focus.
00:35:43.840 --> 00:35:52.400
Not with perfect concentration, not with eliminating interruptions, that's impossible, not with squeezing more work into the day.
00:35:52.559 --> 00:35:53.599
We can't do that.
00:35:53.760 --> 00:36:00.480
We're starting with recognizing, noticing that your attention has value.
00:36:01.039 --> 00:36:07.280
And everything that asks for it does not automatically get access to it.
00:36:07.679 --> 00:36:11.440
So for this week, don't try to fix the whole thing.
00:36:11.760 --> 00:36:14.559
Notice it, name it for what it is.
00:36:14.800 --> 00:36:21.679
And when something reaches for your attention, guys, give yourself just enough space to ask, does this need me right now?
00:36:22.719 --> 00:36:23.280
Excuse me.
00:36:23.519 --> 00:36:29.679
This week, guys, we started October by noticing who or what has been deciding where your attention goes.
00:36:30.000 --> 00:36:35.840
Next week, we're gonna take another step because recognizing what deserves your attention is one thing.
00:36:36.320 --> 00:36:43.840
Protecting what you choose once the school day starts, pulling at you is something else entirely.
00:36:44.239 --> 00:36:46.400
That's protect what you choose.
00:36:47.039 --> 00:36:51.199
Week three, we'll talk about what happens after something pulls you off course.
00:36:51.280 --> 00:36:54.320
The interruption happened, the hard class happened, the email happened.
00:36:54.480 --> 00:36:56.239
Does it get the next hour too?
00:36:56.400 --> 00:36:58.159
That one's called the reset.
00:36:58.320 --> 00:37:00.159
And in week four, we'll bring it on home.
00:37:00.320 --> 00:37:01.840
Literally, bring it on home.
00:37:02.079 --> 00:37:05.519
How much of you is a school day allowed to take with you?
00:37:05.840 --> 00:37:10.320
Okay, how much of you is a school day allowed to take with it?
00:37:11.599 --> 00:37:12.400
Teach well.
00:37:13.039 --> 00:37:14.000
Go home.
00:37:14.480 --> 00:37:15.360
Live well.
00:37:15.599 --> 00:37:18.000
My subscribers will know that in just a second.
00:37:18.320 --> 00:37:30.480
Because something asking guys for your attention and something deserving your attention right now are not always the same thing, and learning and learning to recognize difference is part of teaching without losing yourself.
00:37:34.719 --> 00:37:36.159
Notice and name.
00:37:36.320 --> 00:37:43.840
So until I see you again, teachers, give yourself the same care you give everyone else.
