Be Prepared!

Ian Collins unpacks the absolute state of the nation - a country on the absolute brink. Take a listen to this…

First, British citizens are now being officially urged to assemble a three-day emergency ‘survival kit.’ The public is advised to stock up on canned food, stash physical cash, and buy a wind-up radio to prepare for national crises ranging from major cyber attacks to widespread flooding.

That warning comes, as a massive global internet meltdown has thrown UK infrastructure into total chaos. A total of 32 UK government services were temporarily offline yesterday leaving MOT garages across the country unable to access official databases—forcing mechanics to record vehicle tests by pen and paper like it’s 1955.

If that’s not enough - The energy regulator Ofgem says Britain could literally run out of gas this winter. Families face the grim prospect of cold homes and soaring bills while officials scramble to secure supplies.

Adding to the misery - recorded crime has rocketed past 7 million incidents a year for the first time in history. Official figures reveal a huge surge in fraud and street robbery, leaving law-abiding citizens feeling increasingly unsafe in their own communities.

And while Rome burns, where are our leaders? Kick-starting their television careers, it seems. Prime Minister Andy Burnham is set to appear on Channel 4’s Gogglebox (albeit Stand up to Cancer), while Prince William takes time out from the nation’s woes to sit on the sofa for The Graham Norton Show.

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