’Til Death Do Us Part Is the Easiest Vow You’ll Make

WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en
00:00:00.160 --> 00:00:02.550
The answer isn't trying to tell the
00:00:02.560 --> 00:00:04.789
other person, you might lose me. The
00:00:04.799 --> 00:00:08.070
answer is, I keep choosing you. Keep
00:00:08.080 --> 00:00:10.870
choosing you. I keep choosing you. You
00:00:10.880 --> 00:00:12.709
might lose me as a threat. I keep
00:00:12.719 --> 00:00:19.429
choosing you is a gift.
00:00:19.439 --> 00:00:21.830
I'm going to say something backwards and
00:00:21.840 --> 00:00:24.150
I need you to stay with me for a few
00:00:24.160 --> 00:00:27.189
minutes because the turn at the end is
00:00:27.199 --> 00:00:30.470
the whole point. That vow we treat as
00:00:30.480 --> 00:00:33.430
the highest bar in love till death do us
00:00:33.440 --> 00:00:35.670
part. I think it's the lowest one. I
00:00:35.680 --> 00:00:37.750
know. I know what you're thinking, but
00:00:37.760 --> 00:00:40.470
it's security. Let's talk about it. I'm
00:00:40.480 --> 00:00:44.470
Lesie. I am a therapist, a coach, a
00:00:44.480 --> 00:00:47.110
relationship supporter, a supporter and
00:00:47.120 --> 00:00:50.229
lover of marriage. I just think we have
00:00:50.239 --> 00:00:52.869
to talk about why we're failing at it
00:00:52.879 --> 00:00:54.709
and how we can make it better. And this
00:00:54.719 --> 00:00:57.110
is a continuation of a series from last
00:00:57.120 --> 00:01:01.349
week. I believe forever is the easy vow.
00:01:01.359 --> 00:01:02.790
And I'm going to tell you why. But
00:01:02.800 --> 00:01:05.429
first, I also think we should be
00:01:05.439 --> 00:01:08.149
promising something else instead. And
00:01:08.159 --> 00:01:10.550
I'm going to get there, too. So, hang in
00:01:10.560 --> 00:01:14.230
with me. This episode is hopefully going
00:01:14.240 --> 00:01:16.310
to make some people think, people who
00:01:16.320 --> 00:01:18.310
are considering marriage, people who are
00:01:18.320 --> 00:01:20.230
in a marriage, people who might want to
00:01:20.240 --> 00:01:22.710
be in another marriage after ending one,
00:01:22.720 --> 00:01:24.950
something to think about. How can we do
00:01:24.960 --> 00:01:28.070
this better? Hi, I'm Lesie. This is
00:01:28.080 --> 00:01:30.230
Pulling Threads, weaving authenticity.
00:01:30.240 --> 00:01:32.550
And this is part two of a series about
00:01:32.560 --> 00:01:35.830
six words we've all said and mostly
00:01:35.840 --> 00:01:38.870
never questioned. Till death do us part.
00:01:38.880 --> 00:01:40.870
In the last episode, the first of the
00:01:40.880 --> 00:01:43.270
series, I showed you where those words
00:01:43.280 --> 00:01:45.109
even came from. And that they were
00:01:45.119 --> 00:01:48.789
written till death meant about 19 years
00:01:48.799 --> 00:01:50.870
from the date of marriage. But we've
00:01:50.880 --> 00:01:53.749
stretched them to almost 60. If you
00:01:53.759 --> 00:01:56.149
missed that one, go back after this and
00:01:56.159 --> 00:01:59.109
take a listen. But today isn't about how
00:01:59.119 --> 00:02:01.429
long the promise is. It's about how easy
00:02:01.439 --> 00:02:05.510
it is to make the promise and how that
00:02:05.520 --> 00:02:08.469
easiness is quietly hurting the people
00:02:08.479 --> 00:02:11.510
who keep it. And I say this with so much
00:02:11.520 --> 00:02:14.550
love, so much respect for those who make
00:02:14.560 --> 00:02:17.110
it. No blame the whole way through.
00:02:17.120 --> 00:02:20.390
Okay? We are not blaming anyone here. We
00:02:20.400 --> 00:02:23.910
just want to think about this a little
00:02:23.920 --> 00:02:27.830
deeper. So, let's start by thinking
00:02:27.840 --> 00:02:31.110
about what all of this started in me. I
00:02:31.120 --> 00:02:34.630
started thinking about what promising
00:02:34.640 --> 00:02:38.630
forever asks of you in the moment that
00:02:38.640 --> 00:02:42.150
you make the promise. Think about that.
00:02:42.160 --> 00:02:45.190
When you say the vow, what does it take
00:02:45.200 --> 00:02:48.229
to say those words? Honestly, nothing.
00:02:48.239 --> 00:02:49.509
There might be some people who are
00:02:49.519 --> 00:02:51.270
triggered by those words and it might
00:02:51.280 --> 00:02:53.110
have taken a lot to get them to say it.
00:02:53.120 --> 00:02:55.270
I hear you if that's you. But it costs
00:02:55.280 --> 00:02:56.869
nothing when you're standing at the
00:02:56.879 --> 00:02:59.589
altar because it doesn't ask a single
00:02:59.599 --> 00:03:02.309
thing of you like the next morning. You
00:03:02.319 --> 00:03:05.110
can say forever, mean it with your
00:03:05.120 --> 00:03:08.070
entire whole heart. Many people do. They
00:03:08.080 --> 00:03:10.869
cry real tears and then they wake up the
00:03:10.879 --> 00:03:12.229
next morning and they're like, "All
00:03:12.239 --> 00:03:14.309
right, now we can coast." And that's
00:03:14.319 --> 00:03:15.830
exactly what some people report
00:03:15.840 --> 00:03:18.470
happening, that the shift literally
00:03:18.480 --> 00:03:21.190
happens overnight and it continues the
00:03:21.200 --> 00:03:23.110
day after that and the day after that.
00:03:23.120 --> 00:03:25.589
And if we're being real, for some people
00:03:25.599 --> 00:03:28.229
it may continue on for 30 years. And
00:03:28.239 --> 00:03:30.949
that may be why we have so much divorce
00:03:30.959 --> 00:03:33.589
of people in their 40s, 50s, and 60s.
00:03:33.599 --> 00:03:36.070
Great divorces on the rise. It's because
00:03:36.080 --> 00:03:38.309
the word doesn't check in on you. It
00:03:38.319 --> 00:03:40.309
doesn't ask whether you're still turning
00:03:40.319 --> 00:03:42.149
toward each other or whether you're
00:03:42.159 --> 00:03:44.550
slowly becoming two roommates splitting
00:03:44.560 --> 00:03:45.910
the bills and arguing about the
00:03:45.920 --> 00:03:49.190
thermostat. It just needs you to not
00:03:49.200 --> 00:03:51.190
leave. And I think that's the trap
00:03:51.200 --> 00:03:55.270
sitting inside this whole idea of
00:03:55.280 --> 00:03:57.589
permanent. The second we decide
00:03:57.599 --> 00:03:59.910
something is guaranteed in this case
00:03:59.920 --> 00:04:01.670
that that person is never going
00:04:01.680 --> 00:04:05.830
anywhere. Do we quietly stop doing the
00:04:05.840 --> 00:04:08.630
thing or the things that kept us
00:04:08.640 --> 00:04:11.110
reaching for them in the first place? Do
00:04:11.120 --> 00:04:12.949
we stop taking care of ourselves? Do we
00:04:12.959 --> 00:04:15.110
stop taking care of them? Do we stop
00:04:15.120 --> 00:04:17.830
checking in on them throughout the day,
00:04:17.840 --> 00:04:20.550
doing kind things to try to all the
00:04:20.560 --> 00:04:23.670
things we try to do to win them over? Do
00:04:23.680 --> 00:04:26.629
we stop all of that the day we say
00:04:26.639 --> 00:04:28.629
forever? Here's the part that gets me.
00:04:28.639 --> 00:04:33.270
Maybe this is the Virgo, my Virgo part,
00:04:33.280 --> 00:04:35.670
but I feel like this is all backwards. I
00:04:35.680 --> 00:04:38.469
feel like we have it wrong. We save our
00:04:38.479 --> 00:04:41.189
best selves for the people who could
00:04:41.199 --> 00:04:43.590
actually walk away for from us. And it
00:04:43.600 --> 00:04:45.990
makes sense why. They didn't promise us
00:04:46.000 --> 00:04:50.310
forever. But we give strangers,
00:04:50.320 --> 00:04:53.590
co-workers, our friends, strangers on
00:04:53.600 --> 00:04:56.310
the internet our best selves. We're
00:04:56.320 --> 00:04:59.030
patient and warm and interested for all
00:04:59.040 --> 00:05:01.430
of them. And then we come home to the
00:05:01.440 --> 00:05:04.469
one person we promised the most. What do
00:05:04.479 --> 00:05:07.029
we hand them? Leftovers. If we even come
00:05:07.039 --> 00:05:10.550
home, but we come home tired, exhausted,
00:05:10.560 --> 00:05:13.270
sometimes short-tempered, right? Maybe
00:05:13.280 --> 00:05:14.950
we don't even say thank you anymore when
00:05:14.960 --> 00:05:16.390
we walk in and they've done something
00:05:16.400 --> 00:05:19.110
nice for us. So, I think the Gottmans
00:05:19.120 --> 00:05:21.029
would say, you know, we start turning
00:05:21.039 --> 00:05:23.029
away instead of always turning in
00:05:23.039 --> 00:05:25.189
towards one another. in extreme
00:05:25.199 --> 00:05:28.310
examples. But let's say we turn toward
00:05:28.320 --> 00:05:31.350
each other in times of need or when
00:05:31.360 --> 00:05:34.390
someone's upset. But on the daytoday, we
00:05:34.400 --> 00:05:36.310
stop trying to impress one another.
00:05:36.320 --> 00:05:38.390
Maybe we stop dressing up, stop wearing
00:05:38.400 --> 00:05:40.870
makeup, stop going on dates, stop
00:05:40.880 --> 00:05:44.150
planning dates, stop holding doors. All
00:05:44.160 --> 00:05:46.390
of the little micro things on the
00:05:46.400 --> 00:05:49.990
day-to-day basis add up. And when they
00:05:50.000 --> 00:05:53.110
all go away and suddenly countless
00:05:53.120 --> 00:05:55.350
people will say everything changed the
00:05:55.360 --> 00:05:57.029
minute we got married. And I believe
00:05:57.039 --> 00:05:58.710
this is why. I don't think it's because
00:05:58.720 --> 00:06:01.110
we are bad people or anyone is a bad
00:06:01.120 --> 00:06:04.150
person. I think it's because we believed
00:06:04.160 --> 00:06:08.230
something that sounds sweet and virtuous
00:06:08.240 --> 00:06:11.110
actually turns into poison for the
00:06:11.120 --> 00:06:13.590
relationship. It's that the one person
00:06:13.600 --> 00:06:16.950
who'll never leave us is the one person
00:06:16.960 --> 00:06:18.950
that we don't have to try for anymore.
00:06:18.960 --> 00:06:21.590
Does any of this sound familiar? When I
00:06:21.600 --> 00:06:24.309
before I got married, we promised each
00:06:24.319 --> 00:06:25.909
other we wouldn't do that. We made a
00:06:25.919 --> 00:06:27.830
whole bunch of promises. We want this,
00:06:27.840 --> 00:06:30.710
we want that, we want this. Instantly,
00:06:30.720 --> 00:06:32.469
everything changed. It wasn't all
00:06:32.479 --> 00:06:34.230
one-sided, either. I'm not going to
00:06:34.240 --> 00:06:36.950
pretend like I didn't change, too. I
00:06:36.960 --> 00:06:39.189
did. We stopped trying. We stopped
00:06:39.199 --> 00:06:42.150
seeing each other. We literally just
00:06:42.160 --> 00:06:45.029
coexisted under a roof. We made lots of
00:06:45.039 --> 00:06:46.550
plans with friends. We went out with
00:06:46.560 --> 00:06:48.469
them. We never had date nights again,
00:06:48.479 --> 00:06:51.029
just the two of us ever. The minute we
00:06:51.039 --> 00:06:53.350
got married, this is not just my opinion
00:06:53.360 --> 00:06:55.590
or my experience either. The research on
00:06:55.600 --> 00:06:57.909
long relationship keeps landing on the
00:06:57.919 --> 00:07:01.350
same thing. It shows that there are all
00:07:01.360 --> 00:07:03.510
these other names that we call it in the
00:07:03.520 --> 00:07:05.909
professional world. complacency, taking
00:07:05.919 --> 00:07:08.230
each other for granted, comfort that
00:07:08.240 --> 00:07:11.189
slowly turns into neglect, just straight
00:07:11.199 --> 00:07:14.790
up neglect and absence. So, a lot of
00:07:14.800 --> 00:07:17.350
people study long marriages and they
00:07:17.360 --> 00:07:20.950
keep finding a very quiet pattern. Once
00:07:20.960 --> 00:07:23.990
we're sure someone isn't going anywhere,
00:07:24.000 --> 00:07:26.550
we stop courting them. It makes sense.
00:07:26.560 --> 00:07:28.950
If you don't enjoy courting, it makes
00:07:28.960 --> 00:07:32.230
sense. I think that there are those
00:07:32.240 --> 00:07:36.790
people who enjoy courting and they enjoy
00:07:36.800 --> 00:07:39.589
making the other person happy. And when
00:07:39.599 --> 00:07:43.510
you get two people like that together,
00:07:43.520 --> 00:07:46.150
it works. But if we stop being curious
00:07:46.160 --> 00:07:48.710
and we let the basic good manners that
00:07:48.720 --> 00:07:51.270
we would give a stranger or even other
00:07:51.280 --> 00:07:53.189
family members fall away from the person
00:07:53.199 --> 00:07:54.950
that we share a bed with, we are in
00:07:54.960 --> 00:07:57.029
trouble. And it happens all the time. So
00:07:57.039 --> 00:07:59.029
the exact thing that the vow is supposed
00:07:59.039 --> 00:08:01.909
to give us, which is security, is the
00:08:01.919 --> 00:08:04.230
thing that can rot a marriage from the
00:08:04.240 --> 00:08:06.950
inside. Not because security is bad.
00:08:06.960 --> 00:08:09.510
Security is necessary. We love security.
00:08:09.520 --> 00:08:12.070
I love security because security that
00:08:12.080 --> 00:08:15.430
you never really think about it turns
00:08:15.440 --> 00:08:19.189
into stagnation. So how do we get around
00:08:19.199 --> 00:08:22.390
this? Like we want and need security. We
00:08:22.400 --> 00:08:24.629
want to be in a securely attached,
00:08:24.639 --> 00:08:27.430
trusting, loving relationship, but we
00:08:27.440 --> 00:08:31.909
don't want that security to cause us to
00:08:31.919 --> 00:08:34.709
no longer try with the other person.
00:08:34.719 --> 00:08:38.230
Think about it like if you owned a home,
00:08:38.240 --> 00:08:40.790
if you bought the house and you paid it
00:08:40.800 --> 00:08:44.630
off and then let's say you're buying a
00:08:44.640 --> 00:08:46.870
house versus renting a house, right? So
00:08:46.880 --> 00:08:49.110
you buy the house, you paid it off, you
00:08:49.120 --> 00:08:50.630
don't have a payment. Do you start
00:08:50.640 --> 00:08:52.710
letting the house fall apart? No. Now,
00:08:52.720 --> 00:08:54.790
if you're renting the house, then you
00:08:54.800 --> 00:08:56.150
know that you have to hand the keys
00:08:56.160 --> 00:08:57.670
back. You're going to make sure you take
00:08:57.680 --> 00:08:58.870
really good care of the house while
00:08:58.880 --> 00:09:00.710
you're renting it, most people. So,
00:09:00.720 --> 00:09:02.310
there's a difference in these two
00:09:02.320 --> 00:09:05.430
situations. But most of us wouldn't just
00:09:05.440 --> 00:09:07.910
let the house fall apart because we paid
00:09:07.920 --> 00:09:10.870
for it and it's ours. But we do do this
00:09:10.880 --> 00:09:13.990
in relationship, right? And there's no
00:09:14.000 --> 00:09:17.269
reason to say why. Like, it's very
00:09:17.279 --> 00:09:21.030
clear. We believe that we don't have to,
00:09:21.040 --> 00:09:23.829
which just seems so silly to me. Like in
00:09:23.839 --> 00:09:26.870
this day and age of the ease of divorce,
00:09:26.880 --> 00:09:28.710
yes, it's painful. It's horribly painful
00:09:28.720 --> 00:09:30.710
and it the process is terrible. It's a
00:09:30.720 --> 00:09:33.990
nightmare, but we can get a divorce,
00:09:34.000 --> 00:09:35.670
right? Like most people don't believe
00:09:35.680 --> 00:09:37.269
you're going to hell anymore and all the
00:09:37.279 --> 00:09:38.790
things that used to keep people from
00:09:38.800 --> 00:09:41.750
getting a divorce. So, with divorce
00:09:41.760 --> 00:09:44.790
being so easy and prevalent, why haven't
00:09:44.800 --> 00:09:47.670
we figured this out? Like just because
00:09:47.680 --> 00:09:50.710
someone says till death do us part or
00:09:50.720 --> 00:09:53.829
forever doesn't mean they have to put up
00:09:53.839 --> 00:09:57.430
with you forever. If you stop trying,
00:09:57.440 --> 00:09:59.590
you stop being nice to them. We all have
00:09:59.600 --> 00:10:02.470
rough times. I get it. Like we're sick,
00:10:02.480 --> 00:10:04.949
we're tired, we're overworked. But if
00:10:04.959 --> 00:10:07.829
you're being kinder to the lady in the
00:10:07.839 --> 00:10:09.910
checkout at the grocery store than you
00:10:09.920 --> 00:10:13.110
are your wife, we have to talk about it.
00:10:13.120 --> 00:10:15.829
I want to be really careful though
00:10:15.839 --> 00:10:19.430
because the answer isn't not having
00:10:19.440 --> 00:10:21.670
security, right? That's not the answer
00:10:21.680 --> 00:10:24.150
either. We don't want to take away the
00:10:24.160 --> 00:10:26.630
security that comes with being in a
00:10:26.640 --> 00:10:29.430
marriage or in a committed relationship.
00:10:29.440 --> 00:10:32.949
That is so valuable and so important and
00:10:32.959 --> 00:10:36.230
for me personally brings me an
00:10:36.240 --> 00:10:38.710
incredible amount of peace. So, I'm not
00:10:38.720 --> 00:10:40.470
telling you to keep your partner on
00:10:40.480 --> 00:10:43.829
edge, to hold leaving over their head,
00:10:43.839 --> 00:10:46.150
to stir up jealousy so they'll try
00:10:46.160 --> 00:10:47.829
harder. None of that. That's not
00:10:47.839 --> 00:10:49.829
aliveness. That's just a different kind
00:10:49.839 --> 00:10:53.430
of hurt. Fear has always been a terrible
00:10:53.440 --> 00:10:56.069
foundation for love. And it's that is
00:10:56.079 --> 00:10:58.470
not what I'm describing here or saying
00:10:58.480 --> 00:11:01.990
here at all. The answer isn't trying to
00:11:02.000 --> 00:11:03.829
tell the other person, you might lose
00:11:03.839 --> 00:11:07.750
me. The answer is I keep choosing you.
00:11:07.760 --> 00:11:10.550
Keep choosing you. I keep choosing you.
00:11:10.560 --> 00:11:12.630
You might lose me as a threat. I keep
00:11:12.640 --> 00:11:15.350
choosing you is a gift. And the gift is
00:11:15.360 --> 00:11:17.430
what keeps a marriage or a long-term
00:11:17.440 --> 00:11:20.470
relationship awake. Present. And that's
00:11:20.480 --> 00:11:23.509
what we want. We want to be present and
00:11:23.519 --> 00:11:25.990
awake with our partner. Because to keep
00:11:26.000 --> 00:11:28.470
choosing someone, you actually have to
00:11:28.480 --> 00:11:31.670
keep seeing them, understanding them as
00:11:31.680 --> 00:11:34.150
they evolve and change into a whole new
00:11:34.160 --> 00:11:36.870
person throughout your life together.
00:11:36.880 --> 00:11:40.310
But you can't choose a person if you
00:11:40.320 --> 00:11:42.630
stop paying attention to them. And it's
00:11:42.640 --> 00:11:45.670
very sad to feel like someone has
00:11:45.680 --> 00:11:47.829
stopped choosing you. And I know many
00:11:47.839 --> 00:11:50.389
people listening have had that happen.
00:11:50.399 --> 00:11:54.230
And for some of us when it happens we
00:11:54.240 --> 00:11:56.710
get desperate to get the attention of
00:11:56.720 --> 00:11:59.910
the other person. But for some people
00:11:59.920 --> 00:12:01.670
they believe you will never break that
00:12:01.680 --> 00:12:06.470
vow. But I would say a better vow that I
00:12:06.480 --> 00:12:09.750
would hold up would be a much higher bar
00:12:09.760 --> 00:12:12.949
than forever. It's smaller but it's much
00:12:12.959 --> 00:12:16.230
harder. And it is I still choose you. I
00:12:16.240 --> 00:12:19.430
still choose you. I still choose us. You
00:12:19.440 --> 00:12:21.590
can say it slowly. Feel the difference.
00:12:21.600 --> 00:12:24.470
Forever points at some future you can't
00:12:24.480 --> 00:12:27.509
see. You can't control. I still choose
00:12:27.519 --> 00:12:30.389
you. Points at right now. This ordinary
00:12:30.399 --> 00:12:32.870
morning, this actual person, this real
00:12:32.880 --> 00:12:35.269
marriage with all of its wear and tear
00:12:35.279 --> 00:12:38.949
and drama and complication and
00:12:38.959 --> 00:12:41.350
difficulty. And you can only keep that
00:12:41.360 --> 00:12:43.829
promise by staying awake to it. That's
00:12:43.839 --> 00:12:46.230
what makes it braver. It costs you
00:12:46.240 --> 00:12:48.629
something today and tomorrow and the
00:12:48.639 --> 00:12:51.110
Tuesday after that. Staying awake is the
00:12:51.120 --> 00:12:53.910
key to everything. It is certainly stay
00:12:53.920 --> 00:12:56.710
key to staying in a marriage. And here's
00:12:56.720 --> 00:12:58.949
what I want you to take with you because
00:12:58.959 --> 00:13:00.870
I never want to leave you with just the
00:13:00.880 --> 00:13:04.310
ache because for some of us this is
00:13:04.320 --> 00:13:07.030
exactly what happened to us and we
00:13:07.040 --> 00:13:10.389
desperately wished that we could be
00:13:10.399 --> 00:13:13.269
chosen. So I want to leave you with if
00:13:13.279 --> 00:13:17.190
forever is the easy vow then still is
00:13:17.200 --> 00:13:19.590
available to you right now in whatever
00:13:19.600 --> 00:13:21.590
marriage you're in relationship you're
00:13:21.600 --> 00:13:24.310
in you don't need a ceremony to start
00:13:24.320 --> 00:13:27.350
choosing again. You just have to look up
00:13:27.360 --> 00:13:29.030
look away from the guarantee and
00:13:29.040 --> 00:13:30.710
actually see the person who's right
00:13:30.720 --> 00:13:32.870
across the table from you the way you
00:13:32.880 --> 00:13:35.990
would if you really let yourself know
00:13:36.000 --> 00:13:38.629
their staying was never owed to you.
00:13:38.639 --> 00:13:40.870
They don't owe you anything, but they
00:13:40.880 --> 00:13:42.949
can still choose you and you can still
00:13:42.959 --> 00:13:45.590
choose them. And I think this isn't a
00:13:45.600 --> 00:13:49.269
sad thing. I think that it's the most
00:13:49.279 --> 00:13:52.550
alive a marriage ever gets if we can
00:13:52.560 --> 00:13:55.190
say, "I still choose you." I know lots
00:13:55.200 --> 00:13:58.310
of couples who've gone to therapy and
00:13:58.320 --> 00:14:00.389
gone to couples counseling because they
00:14:00.399 --> 00:14:04.310
ch truly wanted to keep choosing each
00:14:04.320 --> 00:14:05.829
other. They were just hitting a rough
00:14:05.839 --> 00:14:09.110
spot. Okay, great. Other couples go to
00:14:09.120 --> 00:14:11.910
couples therapy and one person has
00:14:11.920 --> 00:14:13.430
already checked out. They've already
00:14:13.440 --> 00:14:15.590
stopped choosing the other person and
00:14:15.600 --> 00:14:18.230
the damage is done.
00:14:18.240 --> 00:14:20.949
So that's it for now. Something to think
00:14:20.959 --> 00:14:23.829
about. If you are in a marriage, how can
00:14:23.839 --> 00:14:26.949
you come back? If you have stepped away
00:14:26.959 --> 00:14:29.350
from choosing your partner, how can you
00:14:29.360 --> 00:14:32.069
choose them today? And every single day,
00:14:32.079 --> 00:14:34.629
it's not just one time. It's not one
00:14:34.639 --> 00:14:37.189
promise. It's a promise you make every
00:14:37.199 --> 00:14:39.750
single day. Next time I'm going to be
00:14:39.760 --> 00:14:41.590
getting into something a lot of people
00:14:41.600 --> 00:14:43.829
don't want to hear that we do fall out
00:14:43.839 --> 00:14:46.710
of love and why nobody warned us. That
00:14:46.720 --> 00:14:48.389
one might be the most important video in
00:14:48.399 --> 00:14:50.550
this whole series. If any of this
00:14:50.560 --> 00:14:53.350
landed, that's the work I do at the Loom
00:14:53.360 --> 00:14:55.910
Light and in my therapy practice. The
00:14:55.920 --> 00:14:57.670
link is in the description if you're
00:14:57.680 --> 00:14:58.949
ready. If you want to have a
00:14:58.959 --> 00:15:01.590
conversation, chat, or do some work in
00:15:01.600 --> 00:15:04.230
this area. All right, subscribe so you
00:15:04.240 --> 00:15:06.069
catch the next video. And if you haven't
00:15:06.079 --> 00:15:07.910
watched the first in this series, go
00:15:07.920 --> 00:15:10.629
back. It's regarding till death do us
00:15:10.639 --> 00:15:13.269
part as well. Until next time, thank
00:15:13.279 --> 00:15:16.279
you.