Offline Daze S2E5: The Weird World Before the Internet

Coley: All right, welcome to Offline Days. I appreciate the countdown, Ryan. I I really needed that with your fingers. You're like a real producer right there. I am your co-host Coley, and as always, we have
Ryan Mitchell: Ryan here.
Coley: and we have a very special guest today. Go ahead and introduce yourself.
Old Man Murphy: Old Man Murphy. You can find me on TikTok. Old Man Murphy 76 underscore 2.0 right now. You can also find me on YouTube at YouTube.com slash wellhey productions. I'm on Facebook and Instagram. But the other place you can find me is twitch.tv slash wellhey productions. And I have a a live stream that I host every Saturday night at 9 p.m. Central, where we play games. Get shit faced and gives
Ryan Mitchell: Mmm
Old Man Murphy: and get pri give prizes away at the end of the night. I mean literal prizes. Yeah. Yeah.
Ryan Mitchell: Fuck yeah. What
Coley: That's awesome.
Ryan Mitchell: makes you so old?
Old Man Murphy: that
Coley: Ha ha ha.
Old Man Murphy: P okay, this the okay. So the Murphy part is that's that's been my nickname for God knows how long. it started when the internet started. You know, you j you go into a chat room, you need to have a screen name. So I'm thinking I'm it in in in this right, it's kind of like I got an Indiana Jones thing going for me where I'm named after the dog. when I was a little kid, we had a Dalmatian named Murphy, and he was my best friend. so I that that was the only name that I could think of making a screen name. So and then I chose the year I was born, 1976. So that was my screen name for however long. And then when I was part of an online community in the early 20 teens, just in relation to how old I was, I was like 35 at the time, but everybody else was like 18 to 29. So just in relation, I was the old man of the group, and that's how that part stuck. So I'll get people in my comments on TikTok. It's like, I'm older than you. What the fuck are you talking about? I said, it's
Ryan Mitchell: Hahaha
Old Man Murphy: kind of a whole nickname thing. So
Coley: Ha ha.
Ryan Mitchell: Yeah, yeah.
Old Man Murphy: you can always tell it's kind of like you know people who know you versus who they don't when they say when they said, excuse me, I have a question for you, old man. I said, No, no. It's like when you get a when you get a a telemarketing call and they slaughter your last name because they see you have a Z and an S K I and they
Ryan Mitchell: Exploded head.
Old Man Murphy: Yeah, they they're so like, Hello, Mr. Pop. It's like, yeah, no, click. so yeah, most people, I mean, they just call me Murphy. It's
Ryan Mitchell: I feel like that was a back in the day thing, you know, back in like the 60s, 70s, 80s, like, you don't want to go by old man Fleming's house or something like that.
Old Man Murphy: Yeah.
Coley: Ha ha ha.
Ryan Mitchell: You know, like you get a baseball like lost in old man's Fleming's backyard and fucking don't don't come back.
Old Man Murphy: I've already I've already been practicing my get off the lawn speech, so
Coley: Ha ha ha.
Old Man Murphy: I'm I'm right up there as You dirt kids
Coley: I mean I as as totally as as someone who loves to take care of a lawn and and and when somebody walks on it, you're just like, my god, suffered.
Old Man Murphy: Well, we used yeah, well, when we first moved into our house, our backyard is pretty close to like the main road that's going through our town. So kids that left and the there if if when I'm on top of the roof, like putting up the Christmas lights or whatever, I can see the local high school from my from my the top of my roof. So the high school kids, we've seen a couple of them cut through our lawn. And I'm like, I don't wanna be the guy that I I'm I kinda
Ryan Mitchell: stabs you.
Old Man Murphy: do wanna be the guy that runs out on his porch in like boxers and a wife beater's like, you can just to scare
Ryan Mitchell: Yeah.
Old Man Murphy: so they don't do it again. But at the same time, I don't wanna be that guy because then I'll get a wellness check phone call saying like, Hey, Yeah.
Ryan Mitchell: Yeah, well kids these days would like flip out, know, like, like it's not like back in the day if you did if you did that nowadays you would probably like you'd have the SWAT team fucking like coming into your window.
Old Man Murphy: Exactly.
Coley: I I I mean to be
Old Man Murphy: yeah. Yeah.
Coley: fair, I I spent five years to get my lawn to grow back. I spent five summers to get it like nice and grass and I it was like I would every
Old Man Murphy: Mm-hmm.
Coley: every May I'd be out there with a hose and I'd be like watering the seeds and I would do
Ryan Mitchell: Mmm.
Old Man Murphy: Yeah.
Coley: whatever I could to do it. And when all of a sudden I had a daughter and then she's like, I wanna go in the grass, and I'm like What
Old Man Murphy: Yeah, the the only the only problem we we had we used to have a service for a little while and then when the pandemic hit we're like okay we need to cut back on some stuff but yeah I was I was kind of the same way but it was it was more not for the aesthetic because I mean we had a larger yard so we couldn't do it all by ourselves. It was it was the it was the stuff that they would spray in it so it had to sit for like twenty-four hours before it was okay.
Coley: Yeah.
Old Man Murphy: So we had, you know, we got we got we have a dog and you know, make sure that, you know, they still need to go to the bathroom, but don't go in that part of the because you know you might sniff something and then die. We we don't want that to happen.
Ryan Mitchell: No, we sure don't. Nah.
Coley: man, that get off my line. That's the like that Dennis the Menace and w what what was his neighbor's name? George? Was it George? Mr. Wilson. Mr. Wilson, yeah.
Old Man Murphy: Mr Wilson.
Ryan Mitchell: Mmm. Mmm.
Coley: I I but in my head I I can only think of Walter Mathau
Ryan Mitchell: Mmm.
Coley: as the as yeah.
Old Man Murphy: the movie. see I remember I remember Nick at night when they were playing like the old black and white episodes from T V and that's that's those those are the ones
Coley: I I remember those too.
Ryan Mitchell: Hmm.
Old Man Murphy: that I kinda grew up with. I I never watched the I never saw the but I it's I mean you can't go wrong with Walter Mathell though, so
Coley: Yeah, totally.
Ryan Mitchell: No, or Jack Lemon, you know, they were grumpy old men. you know, that's what that's what we
Old Man Murphy: Yeah.
Ryan Mitchell: are now.
Old Man Murphy: Yeah.
Coley: With that
Old Man Murphy: I'm cold. Here's some matches. Light yourself on fire Burgess Meredith? Yes.
Ryan Mitchell: Remember their dad in that? He was the funniest. He was like, Burgess fucking Meredith, dude.
Coley: They don't borrow
Old Man Murphy: he was like looks like Chuck's taking the old log to the beaver. The whole those outcakes at the end.
Ryan Mitchell: Yeah, my god.
Coley: You know what
Old Man Murphy: The
Coley: that's I miss that with movies. I miss the outtakes in movies. That was
Ryan Mitchell: yeah.
Coley: so fun.
Old Man Murphy: I don't know which, I mean, because there was grumpy old men and grumpier old men, and I don't know which one of Burgess's outtakes was better. The one where he said it looks like Chuck's doing this, like, you know, taking the skinboat to Tuna Town, you know, taking a log to the beaver that. Or in the second one, he says, I have been to Hawaii. And the old woman says, Which island? Kamana Wanalea. Or a Pika Peepee. Or I like a licky dicky. And and it's just like all of this stuff coming out of his that his mouth is just like. I mean, you knew you were in for a ride when his first line in the first movie is he comes out of his ice fishing fishing shanty with a flask and says it's colder than a witch's titty out here and I'm like, it's
Ryan Mitchell: Yeah.
Coley: Ha ha ha
Old Man Murphy: one of those comedies.
Coley: Yeah.
Old Man Murphy: I'm happy.
Ryan Mitchell: He was a OG, man. That guy was something.
Coley: That's what I love about how comedians getting older and then it's like you when when you get older in general your filter goes away, let alone
Old Man Murphy: Mm.
Coley: let alone your comedic filter is even better.
Ryan Mitchell: It's gonna be terrifying for
Old Man Murphy: that I mean
Ryan Mitchell: me when I'm like 70 or something. It's gonna be just bad.
Old Man Murphy: I'm it's for me it's I'm I'm I'm there I can tell you right now there's there's my grandkids will be out in public and I'll say something that I'll think is funny and they'll say granddad I'm and
Ryan Mitchell: Yeah.
Old Man Murphy: hey I'll I'll be on my deathbed and I'll I'll I'll still tell my grandkids, my great grandkids however lucky I do get, I'll say, Hey, hey, pull my finger.
Ryan Mitchell: Nyeh.
Old Man Murphy: And I'll st I'll and then and then I'll Ugh Okay, I gotcha! Ha ha ha ha! No,
Ryan Mitchell: Yep, kick it.
Coley: Ha ha ha.
Old Man Murphy: no, no, not yet. You can't get rid of me. I'll fake die several times. I know I'm gonna do that.
Coley: yeah. Well, I I mean I feel like there's so many just cut topics that we just talked about that we could easily dive into, right? I mean Nick at Knight was one of them and you talk about yeah, we could probably have a whole episode just on Walter Math himself. but
Old Man Murphy: yeah. yeah.
Coley: but we do have a little bit of an agenda, so let's let's keep going. And
Old Man Murphy: Okay. Mm-hmm.
Coley: I think kind of the first question is what like what do you really remember about high school? and and and an elementary
Old Man Murphy: High school
Coley: school in that area.
Old Man Murphy: okay. Well, you were we're getting into my villain origin story with grade school.
Ryan Mitchell: Oof.
Old Man Murphy: I yeah. I and I the I d I am not saying this to bring the party down, but
Ryan Mitchell: Hmm.
Old Man Murphy: I I went to Catholic grade school from second grade to eighth grade when I graduated. And in seventh grade now I was already picked on and everything like that. I was the butt of all the jokes and I was bullied and all that kind of stuff. And then so I mean I went through school that you know nobody likes me, I don't have any friends. and then in seventh grade, my principal, who was a nun, and hopefully she's burning in hell for this, she stood
Coley: Ha ha ha.
Ryan Mitchell: Hahaha
Old Man Murphy: me in front of the entire class and proceeded to tell me that nobody liked me. Nobody I nobody was gonna put up with your shit anymore. You have no friends, and you can either cut out your attitude or you're gonna be expelled. And then I ran off and I hid in the bell tower and I was there for like four or five hours. No one could find me. And then somebody actually they did finally find me and they said, Hey, well, you probably don't want to go back to class, but I just gotta tell everyone that, you know, I did find you and that you're okay. And I said, Yeah, okay, whatever. And he and they said, Well, you know, what everything that that she said was just, you know, wrong. I mean, not only we y y you do have friends here, and that was just not you know, cool what she did. and then because they kind of coerced him to say, to tell the the principal where I was, she came up and she barked at me to come downstairs and said, You have to go back to class. And I told her to her face, no. She grabbed me by the my wrist and this is how my villain story started. I swore to none. I told, get your fucking hands off me, you cunt. And she just went, and I'm in seventh grade, by the way. So I mean, y however old that what, eight, nine, something like that. She just went
Ryan Mitchell: flames
Coley: Yeah.
Ryan Mitchell: flames all around you
Old Man Murphy: And she was just like, and I had I just like shooting daggers at her. She didn't bother me for the rest of the time I was going to school there until I graduated. And then so it was that point where I'm like, well, church is bullshit because I mean it's
Coley: Yeah.
Old Man Murphy: supposed to be, you're supposed to be tolerant, you're supposed to be loving, and you put this bitch in charge of all the kids.
Ryan Mitchell: Yeah.
Old Man Murphy: No, no, there's there's nothing up there. So I was
Coley: Yeah.
Old Man Murphy: just like. okay, so Sun and my dad was still one of those ushers where you know they would you know, they said well now you can go do the do the communion of the Eucharist and everything like that. And they would help pass the baskets so you put your twenty dollars in there and everything like that. So that's pretty much we we would go every Sunday at seven AM and I learned from that point on that seven AM to eight AM was nap time.
Coley: Ha ha.
Ryan Mitchell: Yeah!
Old Man Murphy: And I is my dad would keep on elbowing me, stop elbowing me. I know this is all bullshit. It's high school was a lot better. I kinda found my niche. where and I was in I was in the drama team, so I did plays and musicals and you know, I was able to, you know, at least at least try to, you know, develop a little bit of improv bow you know, repertoire and I got into that, so you know And I really started getting into whose line is it anyway. And if if you don't like that
Ryan Mitchell: what a great show that is.
Coley: Well.
Old Man Murphy: show, then I'm so sorry for you. I found out, because I was part of the marching band as well. I found out that you're not cool unless you know at least five Monty Python movies. And I'm like,
Ryan Mitchell: Yeah
Old Man Murphy: I've watched the entire Flying Circus on on A
Coley: Ha ha ha.
Old Man Murphy: E. And all the kids were like, Flying Circus, what's that? you sweet summer child.
Ryan Mitchell: Hahaha
Old Man Murphy: And so I tell tell them about the Lumberjack song and the parrot sketch and you know all that stuff. And they're like, they did sketch
Coley: Yeah.
Old Man Murphy: comedy before they did movies? Yeah.
Coley: Yeah, yeah.
Old Man Murphy: so and then so you know I kind of got in my stride there. And then when I was in college, that rule changed. I mean, yeah, Monty Python was cool, but you really weren't cool unless you knew Mel Brooks. And I'm like,
Coley: Ha ha ha ha.
Old Man Murphy: I have finally found my people.
Ryan Mitchell: Yeah.
Old Man Murphy: I mean we we were quoting blazing saddles and space balls and young Frankenstein
Ryan Mitchell: space balls.
Old Man Murphy: and all of that stuff. And I can remember we took a road trip, the whole band, and it was up in the UP of Michigan, and we took a road trip from the the upper peninsula of Michigan down to Detroit for like a tournament or something like that. And we were all on a coach and they still had working VCRs and we were just brought Everyone, everyone just brought their Mel Brooks stuff. So we just had a marathon. And then one girl
Coley: Yes.
Old Man Murphy: who was like j like an incoming freshman said, like, are we gonna watch Ramin Hood Men in Tights? That's the best one out of all of them. And everyone was like, have
Ryan Mitchell: The
Old Man Murphy: you ever seen Space Balls? No. Have you ever seen Young Frankenstein? No. High Anxiety?
Ryan Mitchell: Yeah.
Coley: Blazing the young Frankensad blazing saddles.
Old Man Murphy: No. Blazing Saddles? No. Okay, sit down, we're gonna educate you. And yeah.
Coley: Right. To to be fair, I was probably that that person that was like, Let's do Robin Hoodman and Nights. I love that that was w probably one of my favorite movies. It was a great
Old Man Murphy: Don't get me don't get me wrong. Don't get me wrong. It's a good one, but when you say it's the best when Blazing Saddles is sitting right next to it, I'm like, no, there's something there we need to we need to get we need
Coley: Right.
Ryan Mitchell: Yeah.
Old Man Murphy: to recheck your medication for that.
Ryan Mitchell: And plus his collaborations with like Gene Wilder, like I was a big Gene Wilder fan, know, Gene Wilder, Richard Pryor too.
Old Man Murphy: yeah. Mm-hmm. I what was the one I found out about Mel Brooks? there's the movie with Anthony Hopkins and John Hurt the Elephant Man.
Ryan Mitchell: Okay.
Old Man Murphy: Mel Brooks was an executive producer on that movie, but he kept his name off because if people saw that it was, you know, something to do with Mel Brooks, they'd think it was a comedy.
Coley: that makes sense.
Ryan Mitchell: yeah.
Old Man Murphy: So yeah, I I I don't even know if it's in the if it's in the credits or anything like that. But yeah, I found that out like a couple of years ago and I'm like, no shit. So but yeah, that's my my high school. It was it was I wasn't the popular kid. I wasn't the the bottom of the barrel. I kind of just coaster under the radar for most of the ways. I mean, like I said, you know, it was my my claim to fame was being in the in the drama team. I've had that we did yeah, like my god. We did a yeah, a play every fall and a musical every spring and did that all four years. And yeah, those were those were some good years. grade school not so much. I try to forget about that, but you know. Okay.
Coley: Yeah, I get that. I get that. I w I went to I went to grad school. I went to middle school with a Catholic school and so and I so I feel your pain. Like I like th there are mean people. I mean there are just mean people everywhere, but like and
Old Man Murphy: Yum Yeah.
Coley: and so I feel your pain, but I I get the the one thing that I wish I had done in in high school is I wish I had been in drama club. See I I was again,
Old Man Murphy: Mm-hmm.
Ryan Mitchell: Mmm.
Coley: I was with you. I was like that mid kind of person
Old Man Murphy: Mm-hmm.
Coley: and I was
Ryan Mitchell: Me too.
Coley: friends with with everybody. Like I was friends with the jocks and I was friends with the theater
Old Man Murphy: Mm-hmm.
Coley: kids and I was friends, you know, with a lot of different people. Like that like a it was just you know, I I n I never had like a group that that I that I was part of. I really wish I had done drama. That
Old Man Murphy: Yeah.
Coley: that is the one if I would go back and do something again that I would go back in
Old Man Murphy: Mm.
Ryan Mitchell: Yeah.
Coley: high school and do drama club.
Old Man Murphy: If I could go back and do anything, I found out in college that I've always liked hockey. but
Ryan Mitchell: Hmm.
Old Man Murphy: I mean in Milwaukee, we don't have an NHL team. We got we have an A AHL team and it's a the Milwaukee Admirals are a farm club a farm club for the Nashville Predators. Back when I was a kid, They were just in their own league and it was just like, well, we got the professionals and the NHL, and then we got, you know, kind of a tier under, which is the AHL. And it was just all these same teams. I mean, all these teams still exist. They're just now farm teams for NHL.
Ryan Mitchell: Right.
Old Man Murphy: And I loved going to the games. I loved watching it. It was my favorite sport to watch. I mean, yeah, we'd have the Packers, we'd have the Brewers, and you know, the Bucks and you know, all those all teams were established, but I really liked watching hockey. And just the atmosphere of that. And when I got into college, a friend of mine said, Hey, we got an intramural team. We nobody knows what the hell they're doing. It's kind of like a beer league. Do you want to play? And I said, like, well, I can't skate backwards. It's like,
Ryan Mitchell: Hahaha
Old Man Murphy: but would you like to play? It's like, no, no one's that good. I'm like, okay, I'll play. And I that's the one thing I kick myself on. After my first game playing, I'm like, I wish I found I I love playing this sport when I was a kid. Cause it was so much fun for me.
Ryan Mitchell: Yeah.
Old Man Murphy: and because of
Coley: You you wish you had it. Your parents are glad you did not.
Old Man Murphy: Well, we're getting ahead of ourselves here. w fast forward fifteen, twenty years, and now I'm a dad, and we take my four year old son to an Admirals game and family friends got season tickets right on the glass. so he said, Well, I'm not gonna be able to go to this game, you guys wanna go? We go. And in between the periods they'll have like a a youth hockey team come in, they'll do like a little scrimmage and everyone was they're They're just like saying, Hey, look at the kids go, you know, it's fun. My son, four years old, can barely walk up on the glass. And he turns around to me and says, Dad, I want to do that. And I'm like, money. From that day
Coley: Here, take my crack.
Old Man Murphy: forward, from that day forward, he has been playing hockey, and he still does to this day. He's starting, he's starting his sophomore year in in the high school co-op team. He did 10 years of youth hockey. He's been doing spring leagues and hockey camps and three mortgages later.
Coley: Yeah.
Ryan Mitchell: Ha ha
Old Man Murphy: I'm just glad that like three years in they they had kind of communal goalie equipment where you know there was just like one set of pads for the entire team and then everyone
Coley: Yeah.
Old Man Murphy: would get their chance and he loved being goalie and I'm like, God, please, please, please,
Coley: Yeah.
Old Man Murphy: please. And then there was one fateful day at a tournament where he said, he said the coach said, You know, I know it's his turn to be in a goal, but I really need him out front because he's one of my top scorers. Do you think that'd be okay? He says, It's not my I'm not skating, ask him.
Coley: Ha ha.
Old Man Murphy: My son was fine
Ryan Mitchell: Yeah.
Old Man Murphy: with it. And then after that game, he said, you know, I don't think I want to be goalie anymore because I like scoring goal goals rather than saving them. I'm like, I think Jesus Christ. So I'm saving
Ryan Mitchell: You
Old Man Murphy: some money, but
Coley: Some
Old Man Murphy: yeah, he just he needed a brand new pair of skates just a couple weeks ago. They were a grand. And the blade,
Coley: Yeah.
Ryan Mitchell: my god.
Old Man Murphy: and then the blades, because they're removable. And I decided, you know, one time in your life, get top of the line. So he's got like top of the line bowers, and yeah, they were grand. They're apparently they're the most comfortable skates he's ever had. The blades themselves were 200 bucks. So
Ryan Mitchell: Jesus.
Old Man Murphy: thank God for like secondhand sports stores. We've gotten a lot of his gear. There's only a couple things that I will not skimp on. That's helmet, skates, and a stick. everything else, we can get elbow pads at secondhand. They'll be fine. You can get shoulder plat
Ryan Mitchell: Sure.
Old Man Murphy: pads, they'll be fine. But yeah, those three things that protect him the most and allow him to do, you know, the most. I mean, I found some cost cutting things, but yeah. I know we're getting off topic, but I g I g I
Ryan Mitchell: Well, everything's so expensive these days, you know, I like to
Coley: Yeah.
Ryan Mitchell: complain about that as my old man, like just going into a
Old Man Murphy: yeah.
Ryan Mitchell: bar, I'll take a beer, that'll be 11.50. I'm like, excuse me?
Old Man Murphy: You're going to the wrong bars. Yeah. well, yeah.
Ryan Mitchell: Yeah, I'm living in the wrong fucking city. Yeah, I feel like Milwaukee's probably a little bit better.
Coley: Ha ha. Yeah yeah.
Old Man Murphy: There's well Lewis Black on his first album said he didn't know he doesn't know how he's gotten drunk for the least amount of money anywhere. This is how he starts off his album is like, I don't know how you do it. I have paid less for liquor here than I have anywhere else. There's a bar that I go to when my son's at hockey practice, and I can get I can get a blue moon, I can get I usually get a blue moon or a a spotted cow or maybe even a summer shandy if they have it on for seasonal. Three bucks. Three
Ryan Mitchell: my God.
Old Man Murphy: bucks for a pint.
Coley: I do like s I do like spotted cow. I think that that's a great beer. It's
Old Man Murphy: Ugh.
Coley: we don't we don't get it out here. We y we it's sad.
Old Man Murphy: Y there used to be there used to be a controversy. You couldn't get it outside Wisconsin. It was they had like
Coley: Yeah, yes.
Old Man Murphy: a licensor a license sh w that you could not sell it outside of state lines. I don't know when that ended, but yeah, I thought it was still in place. went down to Chicago for something and I saw that they had it on tap and I'm like, a little slice of home. Thank you. Thank you.
Coley: Ha ha ha
Ryan Mitchell: Ho ho!
Old Man Murphy: I already had to pay fifty thousand dollars in tolls just to get here, but
Coley: Ha ha ha
Ryan Mitchell: Yeah.
Old Man Murphy: I'll take a beer from home, please. That'll be fifty dollars. Son of a bitch!
Ryan Mitchell: Yeah. But they
Coley: Yeah.
Ryan Mitchell: say kids are drinking less these days, but I feel like that's probably not the case in Wisconsin.
Old Man Murphy: No no. No, no, no. We're Well it's it's legal here in Wisconsin that you can bring your your children to the bar. You can buy them a drink as long as you are supervising them.
Ryan Mitchell: that's lovely. I love that.
Old Man Murphy: So yeah, that yeah, lovely. That's the correct term for
Coley: Ha ha ha.
Old Man Murphy: it. that's that
Ryan Mitchell: That's lovely.
Old Man Murphy: that's that sounds completely responsible.
Coley: Yeah.
Ryan Mitchell: That was my mom. that's lovely. That's lovely.
Coley: Mm-hmm.
Old Man Murphy: every time we go out, my son steals a sip off of my beer. But I mean,
Ryan Mitchell: Yeah.
Old Man Murphy: being fifteen, he's been doing it since he was ten. He said, Dad, can I have a sip? It's like, sure, okay. And
Coley: I was gonna say I remember
Old Man Murphy: then like
Coley: Yeah, I remember taking sips from my dad.
Old Man Murphy: Mm.
Coley: Like and and I don't to be fair, I don't know how I started liking beer. I I love beer. I think it's what like I'm a beer kind of sewer.
Old Man Murphy: Yeah. Hmm.
Coley: but like and I'm a beer can art like snob, not not snob, but like I will buy a be
Old Man Murphy: Mm. yeah.
Ryan Mitchell: Mm-hmm.
Coley: I will buy a beer of the way that it looks under the beer can art, and then I'm like, this is shitty beer
Old Man Murphy: Ex no, I'll I'll do that too. yeah, I've I've run it like I've gone and gone into a total wine and I'm like they got like about fifty million around and I'll just like that one looks pretty and then I'll grab
Coley: Yeah.
Old Man Murphy: that and then it'll be like a triple IPA that's been brewed
Ryan Mitchell: Yeah.
Old Man Murphy: in Satan's butthole for fifty days and I'm like
Ryan Mitchell: Yeah. Yeah, they could, they could, they could, they could kind of tear back some of the IPA, manufacturing a little bit. feel like, like we're IPA'd about, I mean, maybe some more ambers,
Coley: Mm-hmm.
Old Man Murphy: Yeah.
Ryan Mitchell: some more colchias, some more pale ales, like, come on.
Old Man Murphy: Some
Coley: Ryan,
Old Man Murphy: more Heffenweisens, yeah.
Coley: this is the ultimate time for your joke.
Ryan Mitchell: Yeah, yeah. Which joke is that?
Coley: about IPAs and per capita.
Ryan Mitchell: yeah, yeah, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's true. Yeah. And Denver, I say we have more, more cause we're, it's a lot of white people in Denver. like, we got more IPAs per capita than dudes named Trevor and Kyle. because.
Coley: Ha ha ha.
Old Man Murphy: there there are a couple maps in circulation that are cut color coded of the United States. And you'll see like, you know, the thicker outlines of the states and then thinner outlines of all the different counties. And it's color
Ryan Mitchell: Mm-hmm.
Old Man Murphy: coded that consumes, you know, zero percent alcohol all the way to s a hundred percent, you know, however many And then you will see, you know, ever most of most of the United States is like green, it's like right in the middle, maybe a little less. You look at Utah and it's practically white.
Coley: Yeah.
Ryan Mitchell: Right.
Old Man Murphy: And then you look at Wisconsin and it is black.
Ryan Mitchell: Ugh.
Coley: Yeah.
Old Man Murphy: Completely black. But there is one one little section in the middle of the state that is completely white. And you think, that's a dry county. No, that's Lake Winnebago. But people
Ryan Mitchell: Yeah, people don't live in the lake.
Coley: It's really hard to it's really hard to put build a liquor store in the middle of a lake.
Old Man Murphy: Well to can s yeah, but someone can drive their pontoon out there and they can get shit faced and I've seen it myself. Yeah,
Ryan Mitchell: Hahaha Yeah. Yeah.
Old Man Murphy: that's n that wouldn't stop them. Just fill that in with Sharpie, then you there you go.
Coley: Ha ha.
Ryan Mitchell: And you guys are the home of the beast too, right? Milwaukee's beast, as I like to call it.
Old Man Murphy: Or or Milwaukee's version of Bud Light.
Ryan Mitchell: Ha
Old Man Murphy: mywaukee's beast is like sex in a canoe. It's fucking close to water.
Coley: I mean that that
Old Man Murphy: it
Coley: that's Coors. Co Co Coors light has Keystone Light, which is literally it's like the filtered Coors light that like just one more step.
Old Man Murphy: Yeah Yeah. I remember
Ryan Mitchell: Yeah. Yeah.
Old Man Murphy: I remember growing up and seeing grown men getting like an eighteen or a full case of like, you know, any domestic, whether it be Miller or Bud Budweiser or Coors or anything like that, and just like power it down and still be able to walk away straight. And I'm
Ryan Mitchell: Mmm.
Old Man Murphy: like, how
Coley: Mm-hmm.
Old Man Murphy: the hell do you do this? And then I have one and I'm like, well this is like ice. Tea. This is nothing.
Ryan Mitchell: Yeah.
Old Man Murphy: Because I've been drew like craft beers and like, I mean, my my drink of choice is Guinness. So it's like,
Ryan Mitchell: yeah.
Old Man Murphy: I'm just weighing down everything. And so like everything is just like way lighter for me after it's like, what'd you try amber? So there's nothing to it. I mean, it's I can drink,
Coley: Ha ha ha
Old Man Murphy: I can drink this Irish sludge that
Ryan Mitchell: Yeah.
Old Man Murphy: tastes like chocolate milk, or I can have this pretty little thing, and I'm like,
Ryan Mitchell: I feel like being
Old Man Murphy: you're fine, I got
Ryan Mitchell: up north like Wisconsin, you guys have had some like LeBat lovers too up there or is that?
Old Man Murphy: rare. I mean I mean
Ryan Mitchell: Yeah.
Old Man Murphy: you will see Labat in cans. You won't see it on tap that much unless it's unless it's somebody's basement that you know they converted into a bar.
Coley: Ha ha ha.
Old Man Murphy: And there there there are some places there there are s there are towns that are unincorporated where they don't they don't have a city hall, they don't have a post office or anything like that. Now entering Oak Grove, population Two.
Ryan Mitchell: Mm-hmm.
Old Man Murphy: Twelve bars, one church, and then all these rickety shacks around.
Ryan Mitchell: Yeah. Yeah.
Coley: Ha ha ha.
Old Man Murphy: And I'm like, yes, we are definitely in the heart of Wisconsin.
Ryan Mitchell: That sounds like we're all probably live one day, like after all fails, I'll just move to an unincorporated
Old Man Murphy: That's
Ryan Mitchell: place and just be a bar person.
Coley: Yeah
Old Man Murphy: Yeah, there you go. Yeah. Just just hang out there and they'll they'll only kick you out when they run out of peanuts.
Ryan Mitchell: I love it. I love it.
Old Man Murphy: Yeah.
Coley: Well, since we're at the bar and we're drinking, I mean, I
Old Man Murphy: Yes.
Coley: think it's I think it's only I think it's only fetching that we talk about conspiracy theories because that's something you do when you at a bar. You talk about conspiracy theories, right? It and
Ryan Mitchell: Yeah, I agree. I agree.
Old Man Murphy: Absolute yes, absolutely.
Coley: since this is an 80s and 90s podcast, we gotta go 80s and 90s conspiracy theories, right?
Ryan Mitchell: Mmm, mmm, there's a lot of
Old Man Murphy: Yeah.
Ryan Mitchell: them.
Coley: So I think the one that really s I think this probably sticks out to everyone is Area 51, right? Having aliens in in
Ryan Mitchell: Mm-hmm
Old Man Murphy: Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Coley: New Mexico. I think, you know, that that that I mean I think that that's what the X-Files and
Old Man Murphy: Yam.
Coley: what was the Independence Day, those those were the ones that those
Old Man Murphy: Yeah.
Coley: movies were based off of.
Old Man Murphy: Yeah, they were really big back in the day. I remember that's the the whole thing with and then and then there was I I I wanna say it was in the mid nineties signs, that Knight Shyamalan. that was I I
Coley: Mm. I love that movie.
Ryan Mitchell: That was a great movie. Great.
Old Man Murphy: mean, I'm not the biggest Mel Gibson fan, you know, after some of the things that he's done recently and some of the things that he said, but that one that was that was a good one. And I
Coley: Yeah.
Old Man Murphy: think that one that one kind of put Joaquin Phoenix on the map a little bit.
Ryan Mitchell: Yeah.
Old Man Murphy: but yeah, with the you know, the footage of the alien autopsies and all the, you know, little green men, you know, what you know, where actually is Area 51. I mean, this might actually be a little bit before but Close Encounters of the Third Kind of, but I wanna say that was seventy-seven, but still it kinda ties in.
Coley: So yeah.
Old Man Murphy: But I mean all of all of that stuff. That was like in the and then, you know, with Carl Sagan and and what was his what was his show?
Ryan Mitchell: Bob Lazar was the guy that claimed that he reverse
Old Man Murphy: R is he the aliens?
Ryan Mitchell: engineered an alien spacecraft at a secret government site called S4 near Area 51 in 1988.
Old Man Murphy: I do not remember that.
Coley: Wow, what way to rattle that fact off.
Old Man Murphy: Yeah.
Ryan Mitchell: Yeah. Well, I mean, he's, he's, he claimed he was hired to work on the, on the propulsion systems of, nine captured flying saucer powered, powered by like an undiscovered chemical element, element one 15. So like, he's got like a crystal clear memory of all these things that would be like hard to fucking make up, you know, and he's been on like different podcasts talking about it. but. Yeah, it's pretty crazy.
Old Man Murphy: Okay. I do remember, you know, back in the eighties, you know, yeah, it was big alien craze. And yeah,
Ryan Mitchell: Mm-hmm.
Coley: Yeah.
Old Man Murphy: that's I mean, that's how I mean, yeah, as you said, you know, X Files came out.
Ryan Mitchell: I need to re-watch the X-Files. It's been so long. I need to get back into it.
Old Man Murphy: Why do I keep on thinking that they want to they wanna
Ryan Mitchell: Reboot it.
Old Man Murphy: reboot it with David DeCovny and Gillian Anderson? I keep on, or
Coley: Well
Old Man Murphy: maybe it was just Gillian Anderson promoting the new Lego set of X Files. I
Coley: They I mean they tried in the i like what was it like three years ago they tried to reboot it with with everybody.
Old Man Murphy: Mm-hmm.
Coley: they they did like ten episodes. which is weird you know when you think about the the how the finale ended and everything like that. And they brought back
Old Man Murphy: Mm-hmm.
Coley: David DeCuffin. Although I'll tell you, I was just at the Denver fan expo and both Julian Andrews, is that her name? And and David DeCuffany were both there signing autographs. So maybe there's something going on and
Ryan Mitchell: in the works.
Coley: some some bubbling.
Ryan Mitchell: That would be cool.
Old Man Murphy: I'm
Coley: But yeah, I mean like it's just, you know, i the the Area fifty one was a really
Old Man Murphy: Mm-hmm.
Coley: big I mean e i and then even in like the nineties it became like a tourist attraction and and and so many just like diners and I I to
Old Man Murphy: Mm-hmm.
Coley: be fair, I haven't been down to that area in a while. So I don't rem I don't know if
Ryan Mitchell: I've never been.
Coley: it's changed, but I I need to go back.
Old Man Murphy: My my friends went down there and speaking of the gift shops, I have to say, I have to talk about this. they they went down there and they saw a t-shirt and they immediately thought of me. I don't know
Coley: Yeah.
Old Man Murphy: why they thought of me, maybe because of my twisted sense of humor. But it's just a black t-shirt and it's got Roswell, New Mexico, and then it's got like You know, the classic UFO with the beam of light and then some guy getting dragged off it. And at the bottom it says, Get in, loser, we're doing butt stuff.
Ryan Mitchell: Ha! That's fucking great.
Old Man Murphy: That's one of my favorite t shirts too.
Ryan Mitchell: I would love that. I would love that t-shirt. man.
Coley: I I still think the funniest the funniest funniest meme I've ever seen about aliens is you like aliens drive by Earth and lock their doors.
Ryan Mitchell: Hehehehehe
Old Man Murphy: Yes, yes, I've seen it. That is brilliant.
Coley: Ha ha
Old Man Murphy: It's just like roll up the window, honey, we're in the wrong part of the universe.
Ryan Mitchell: Yeah.
Coley: We're we're the we're in the ghetto of the universe.
Ryan Mitchell: We're going to the south side of Chicago and in the universe.
Old Man Murphy: Y yeah. We're going to Cabrini Green. Maybe we'll maybe
Coley: man.
Ryan Mitchell: And then there was also the, I don't know if you guys remember this, Satanic Panic?
Old Man Murphy: that's still going on today. But no, no,
Ryan Mitchell: Yeah.
Old Man Murphy: I no that everything was with with lyrics and songs, if you play something backwards and it's it's
Ryan Mitchell: Yeah.
Old Man Murphy: and then it's like, you play this backwards and then you know it it said Freddie is the devil, Freddie is the devil and
Coley: yes,
Old Man Murphy: the whole the whole thing with the whole battle about getting the the parental advisory sticker on albums. And
Ryan Mitchell: yeah.
Old Man Murphy: then yeah, they had like these these white Anglo Saxon moms. I believe Tipper Gore was one of the the women on that
Coley: Yes.
Old Man Murphy: panel. and then they had D Snyder from Twisted Sister come in and talk and say how this was you know violet this was bullshit. You know, you're suppressing, you know, art. Frank Zappa came in and he was talking about how it was bullshit. And then you have John Denver come in
Ryan Mitchell: Well, what did he say?
Old Man Murphy: And all these white women so like it's it's country roads take me home. this is gonna be good. And he says, you all need to be ashamed of yourselves. This is this is an infringement
Ryan Mitchell: ha ha! Good for John.
Old Man Murphy: on our First Amendment rights. And they were all like, wait, and and then I'm and then I remember it's
Ryan Mitchell: I thought he
Coley: Mm-hmm.
Old Man Murphy: like, my god, Jen Don, John Denver's finally cool, awesome.
Coley: Ha ha ha.
Ryan Mitchell: That's... yeah.
Old Man Murphy: Because my folks were huge John Denver fans and and so they would play John Denver constantly in
Ryan Mitchell: Hmm.
Old Man Murphy: the the VW microbus that we had and it just like, you know, so I I would hear Annie's song and thank God I'm a country boy and you know, take me home country roads and and all of that stuff, and I over and over and over I'm like just shoot me.
Ryan Mitchell: Yeah.
Old Man Murphy: And then I see this this co this congressional hearing and I'm like, fuck, that's awesome.
Ryan Mitchell: That worked about the parental advisory worked about as good as the war on drugs.
Old Man Murphy: that was that was another bullshit thing that happened those years. It's I that all that all that did was it just made drugs forbidden fruit. It's just like, we're
Coley: Yeah.
Ryan Mitchell: Like, like.
Old Man Murphy: not supposed to, let me do more.
Coley: Right.
Ryan Mitchell: Like prohibition for alcohol, right?
Coley: Yes.
Old Man Murphy: Exactly. That's exactly what it was. And deep
Coley: Tip.
Old Man Murphy: down, I wanna I wanna say I wanna think that they knew they were doing that. Just there was some
Coley: Ha ha ha.
Ryan Mitchell: Yeah.
Old Man Murphy: underground market. I mean, because there had to be something. Why say, no, you can't do this anymore? It's bad. But we're gonna we're not gonna stop any of it from coming into the country.
Coley: Mm.
Old Man Murphy: And we're just you know, if if honestly, if they just made all the drugs legal and just taxed the fuck out of them. We could balance the budget in about a fiscal year.
Ryan Mitchell: I mean, just pure, pure, pure cocaine without whatever
Coley: Yeah.
Ryan Mitchell: the fuck they put in it now. What is that stuff?
Old Man Murphy: Yeah.
Ryan Mitchell: Ketamine, or not ketamine, but what is it? What is that? What is the dangerous thing that it gets mixed with? No, no, what is it? No crack. It's like something
Coley: Math. No. Correct.
Old Man Murphy: Crack? Is it crack or crack cocaine? No, that's it.
Ryan Mitchell: manufactured in China.
Old Man Murphy: T C P
Ryan Mitchell: what is it? is, I just had, AI's not letting, AI's not
Old Man Murphy: It must be some
Ryan Mitchell: letting me look in, look, look into it very deep.
Coley: They don't want ya they don't want you looking
Old Man Murphy: The they got
Coley: at all the drugs. fentanyl. That's a dangerous ass drug.
Old Man Murphy: don't tell me they got the they don't have the safe search. fentanyl. Okay. yeah. Mm-hmm.
Ryan Mitchell: Fentanyl, it's it's fentanyl. Yeah, like back in the 80s you could just get pure cocaine and the worst thing you'd have is like baby powder in it. Now you got like fucking fentanyl, so...
Old Man Murphy: Yum.
Coley: I mean you could literally touch that and die.
Old Man Murphy: Well shit Coca The
Ryan Mitchell: Yeah.
Old Man Murphy: original recipe for Coca Cola had cocaine in it. That's where it got its name from, and then they took it out and I'm like, Coke's not fun anymore. Well just
Coley: Yeah.
Ryan Mitchell: Right,
Coley: Yeah, it wasn't
Ryan Mitchell: don't get that
Coley: I think co I think Coca Cola was originally th th this might be a drunk history thing, but I think Coca I I love the I love those. But I think Coca Cola was
Old Man Murphy: Those are those are the best. Those are the best.
Coley: was meant as like a medicine for people who had who had like coughs or something like that. Yeah. Yeah.
Ryan Mitchell: Hmm.
Old Man Murphy: Yeah. It's like a tonic. Yeah. It was supposed to be I wanna say hey, do you got headaches? take some Coca-Cola and an earnail. do you have do you do you do you have a gunshot
Coley: Yeah.
Ryan Mitchell: Yeah.
Old Man Murphy: wound? Well let me take your leg off. you just need a good you just
Ryan Mitchell: Yeah, Aunt Bethany has, she has tuberculosis. Just pour some of this down her throat, right?
Coley: Mm.
Old Man Murphy: yeah, just just pour salt on her and then keep her well wrapped and then she'll be fine in the morning. She's dead.
Coley: Ha ha.
Ryan Mitchell: mean, the worst would be just imagine like a, a general dental procedure in the late 1800s.
Old Man Murphy: Just I don't
Ryan Mitchell: I mean, I would have to, I would have to drink
Coley: god.
Ryan Mitchell: like a half a bottle of whiskey. Like I would just do that bite down on a towel, maybe get.
Coley: No, the three
Old Man Murphy: Yeah.
Coley: none of the three of us would would be able to handle a dentist in the eighteen hundreds. Like
Old Man Murphy: We're just gonna get some pliers and that's it.
Coley: I'm just
Ryan Mitchell: A hammer, pliers.
Coley: I think I would have to be dead for them to work on my teeth in in the eighteen hundreds. There's there's no way I'm letting Yeah,
Old Man Murphy: One of my teeth is rotten. Go to the dentist. I'd rather shoot myself in the dick.
Ryan Mitchell: Yeah.
Coley: no no. yeah.
Ryan Mitchell: I mean, that's just, sounds brutal, but.
Coley: What should we do do one more conspiracy theory and then we'll do a rapid fire?
Ryan Mitchell: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I like that sound of that.
Old Man Murphy: Well.
Coley: Alright. Well w what do you should we talk about the gay bomb?
Old Man Murphy: Good God that
Ryan Mitchell: I just, it's hard not to laugh at that, so yes.
Coley: Ha ha
Old Man Murphy: s the Sunshine Project, Jesus Christ
Ryan Mitchell: So what was the,
Coley: Yeah.
Ryan Mitchell: someone let me know what that was really about. Were they trying to turn people gay or not gay or?
Old Man Murphy: No, it was it was kind of like in the throws, if I remember it correctly, it was in the throes of you know the sexual revolution, right? You know, Studio 54, you know, late 70s, early 80s, mid eighties, and
Coley: Mm-hmm.
Old Man Murphy: then the AIDS epidemic happened.
Ryan Mitchell: Mmm.
Old Man Murphy: and this is really kind of they really wanted to weaponize gayness. They that's pretty much it's like, well, yeah, I mean, of course all the gays are dying of this disease because it's evil.
Ryan Mitchell: Mmm. Mm-hmm.
Old Man Murphy: but then they were they were kind of like exper I I want to say they were experimenting on on on gays, you know, so well what's make what makes gays tick? And if I think there was something well we can make If we can find we can if we can isolate the gay gene, we can use it as a bomb to turn our enemies gay. And then they'll automatically
Coley: Yeah.
Old Man Murphy: die of AIDS. And and
Ryan Mitchell: AIDS? my god, what a a what a sentiment that is.
Old Man Murphy: Yeah. And then yeah, because you know, everyone they they quickly realized is that this this is science fiction, not really science. swept it under the rug and then the military just adopted the whole don't ask, don't tell thing. but yeah, they like poured millions of dollars into that research that was
Coley: Yeah, it
Old Man Murphy: just stupid. Yeah. Yes.
Ryan Mitchell: 7.5 over six years.
Coley: Seven point five million yeah. Yeah.
Ryan Mitchell: The goal was to use strong aphrodisiacs or sex pheromones to cause enemy soldiers to become sexually attracted to each other, disrupting unit morale and discipline. I just see that there. The outcome,
Old Man Murphy: That
Ryan Mitchell: not very successful.
Coley: Ha ha ha
Old Man Murphy: What it what I mean I mean it was it had the eff it it had the effectiveness of just a glitter bomb.
Ryan Mitchell: Yeah.
Old Man Murphy: That's you just pff I'm gay now. Jesus Christ. No, that's not how it works. That's not how it works.
Coley: Yeah. Well
Ryan Mitchell: I have exercise the demons
Old Man Murphy: I like show t suddenly I like show tunes. No, that's not how it works, Gary.
Coley: Ha ha ha.
Ryan Mitchell: Yeah, the one good thing that did come from the gay bomb was RuPaul.
Coley: Ha ha ha.
Ryan Mitchell: He was born, he like, he like, was,
Old Man Murphy: He was he was he was a he he was a he was a dishwasher
Coley: Maybe he was the gay bomb.
Old Man Murphy: in Detroit, Michigan, and then the gay bomb turned him into the greatest drag queen we've ever
Coley: Ha ha ha.
Old Man Murphy: seen.
Coley: Good for him.
Ryan Mitchell: Ugh.
Old Man Murphy: Yeah.
Ryan Mitchell: that's yeah, it's wild that that was even a thing, but
Old Man Murphy: but yeah, there
Coley: God.
Old Man Murphy: were there were a lot of I mean it it's just it was chalked up to there were a lot of things in the eighties that We were we were and I can't say we because I was just in grade school when the 80s were going on, but most Americans were just focused on making money. They didn't give a shit about logic. They didn't give a shit about and most most most of us, I mean, yeah, the the the the you know the Berlin Wall was still up and Russia was still the USSR, but we didn't really give a shit. We
Ryan Mitchell: Yeah.
Old Man Murphy: we didn't. We we were just we were just like we gotta go to work, make money. Leave the kids at home, go to work, make money. And that's why most of most of Gen Xers, you were latchkey kids, we kind of forced ourselves to grow up. and and we did we just did not care. So if we found out that someone was gay or they were you know, they you know I remember I remember the phrase was they're a little light in the loafers. And to this day,
Ryan Mitchell: Yeah.
Old Man Murphy: I still don't understand what that one means.
Coley: I do remember that.
Old Man Murphy: What? I mean they they walk on their tiptoes? What what are you what what
Coley: That's
Ryan Mitchell: Maybe that's what it is.
Old Man Murphy: they're wearing comfortable they're wearing comfortable shoes? I wanna be that guy.
Coley: Right.
Old Man Murphy: but i it was most everybody was just like I have my own agenda. I don't really give a shit what everybody else is doing.
Ryan Mitchell: Yeah.
Old Man Murphy: And so a lot of this stuff that the government focused on, like with the whole the the gay bomb and you know Area fifty one, it was it was kind of it was a it was a distraction from the norm. It's like aliens. I'm like, ooh, science fiction becomes real be you
Coley: Yeah.
Old Man Murphy: know hits home. That was interesting. the thing with, you know, parental guidance stickers, no one they would still buy the albums. I mean, the only ones that really cared.
Ryan Mitchell: Yeah, I would buy the albums and smoke a cigarette while I was buying the album and listening to it.
Old Man Murphy: Exactly. I mean the the the Surgeon General's warning was really small. Those I mean you you could still get unfiltered cigarettes back then.
Ryan Mitchell: Mmm, good old days.
Coley: I mean, you talk about conspiracy theories, th like it's it and Ron Funches talks about if what are the conspiracy theories that you like? And he's like, You don't believe in any conspiracy theories? You think the government's just batting a thousand? Like that's
Old Man Murphy: Yeah.
Coley: like the you wanna talk about conspiracy theories? It's the government coming up with different things to distract what's that movie, Don't Don't Look Up? Have you guys seen that movie? Yeah.
Old Man Murphy: Yeah. Yes. I've seen I've seen parts of it,
Ryan Mitchell: I need to, I heard it was good.
Old Man Murphy: but you know, I get the general gist of what's going on with that movie. It's
Coley: Mm-hmm.
Old Man Murphy: it's the current administration lying about a an incoming meteor.
Coley: Yeah. Yes. And everybody and and then they say and then people are looking up and they see it and so then they like embrace it. So you know, it
Old Man Murphy: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Coley: it I mean there's all kinds of things of that. So
Ryan Mitchell: Speaking of incoming
Old Man Murphy: Yum.
Ryan Mitchell: meteor, my dog is right below me and I just ripped the biggest fart right on top of her head.
Coley: Yeah. Alright, on that note, I think we do a quick rapid fire.
Old Man Murphy: Mm.
Ryan Mitchell: I did a rapid fire there.
Coley: You did a rapid fire.
Old Man Murphy: Ha ha ha.
Coley: That's that's Ryan's signal for Ryan. He's the producer, so he does rapid fire. That's that means it's rapid fire time.
Old Man Murphy: Ha ha
Coley: Alright, are you ready?
Old Man Murphy: as ready
Ryan Mitchell: Yes.
Old Man Murphy: as I'm gonna be.
Coley: Alright, He Man or G.I. Joe? He Man. No question. Transformers
Old Man Murphy: Key man. No no no question. shoot. I mean crap.
Coley: or GoBots? Okay.
Old Man Murphy: Transformers.
Ryan Mitchell: What do you have back there?
Coley: yeah, total
Old Man Murphy: I got a whole mess of s I got
Coley: yeah.
Old Man Murphy: I got a whole collection of Soundwave. I got Voltron here. I have
Ryan Mitchell: cool.
Old Man Murphy: Manny Faces up there. So yeah.
Ryan Mitchell: Dang.
Coley: Yes.
Old Man Murphy: it's it's kinda like all the answers are right behind me so far.
Ryan Mitchell: Wrapping.
Coley: All right. E T or Gremlins. Ooh.
Old Man Murphy: Gremlins.
Coley: Gremlins, Ryan.
Ryan Mitchell: I'm gonna have to go ET just because of, I don't know, I just like the movie premise and the movie was just more nostalgic to me, I guess, growing up.
Coley: Which one made you
Old Man Murphy: I r the first time E.T., yeah. Yeah,
Coley: cry more?
Old Man Murphy: but and then it also made me fall asleep because I'm just I don't
Coley: Ha ha ha.
Old Man Murphy: get what's under I don't I there's guys in there's there's men in white suits and what's what's with the flower wilting and ooh Reese's pieces. That that's
Ryan Mitchell: Ooh.
Old Man Murphy: pretty much what I remember the first time I saw it.
Coley: That's that there's
Ryan Mitchell: Reese's
Coley: yes, that's pretty
Ryan Mitchell: Pieces, yes.
Coley: that's pretty much E. T.'s first first encounter. Yeah. If you yeah. All right.
Old Man Murphy: Yep.
Ryan Mitchell: Ugh.
Coley: Cabbage Patch or Teddy Ruxpin?
Old Man Murphy: Teddy Ruxpin. 'Cause 'cause you could put any audio tape in the back of that thing. He could sing Megadeth if you wanted him to.
Ryan Mitchell: I'm gonna go with Teddy Ruxpin as well.
Coley: Yeah I th that was the thing is I think there was like a whole thing with tapes and you just like throw Metallica tape in there and you're just like
Old Man Murphy: Yep. Yeah, exactly.
Ryan Mitchell: Put like Richard Pryor comedy in there. Tell that motherfucker he can...
Coley: Ha ha ha.
Old Man Murphy: put George Carlin's seven words you can't say on television in the back of a teddy ruxpin and then no where where'd my
Coley: Yeah
Old Man Murphy: teddy rux spin go? well he was saying some naughty language, so we had to educate him. He's in the garbage can, what?
Coley: Ha ha ha. Alright, let's do two more. Bon Jovi or Def Leopard?
Old Man Murphy: Jeff Leppard.
Coley: Yeah, I'm Def Leopard too.
Ryan Mitchell: Yeah, same.
Old Man Murphy: I mean, yeah, I I I I heard more Bon Jovi songs growing up, but I mean when you're your drummer has one arm, that's that's fantastic. And they're still going today. I don't know if I don't
Coley: Today. Yeah.
Old Man Murphy: know if Bon Jovi's still I know John Bon Jovi, he's doing Ozemp commercials now and what and he's gone gray and
Ryan Mitchell: Yeah.
Coley: Yeah.
Old Man Murphy: I'm like, god, no, it hurts. Why he
Ryan Mitchell: Hahaha
Coley: I saw Defli I saw Def Libert like two years ago.
Ryan Mitchell: nice. They
Coley: At at Coors Field, yeah.
Ryan Mitchell: just seem a little edgier, a little cooler. Bon Jovi was a little bit more mainstream commercial like, you know, whatever.
Old Man Murphy: Yeah. He's more mainstream. Mm hmm. Yeah.
Coley: All right, Atari or Nintendo?
Old Man Murphy: Nintendo.
Coley: Hey, like Artarium is just kinda one of those like this is
Old Man Murphy: Yeah.
Coley: like it's like the basic of a computer game.
Old Man Murphy: Yeah.
Ryan Mitchell: Was that before Nintendo?
Old Man Murphy: Yeah I
Ryan Mitchell: Was Atari before Nintendo?
Coley: Yeah, probably
Old Man Murphy: Yeah, it was like an e it was right before I mean when I was growing we we had an Intellivision, which was I
Ryan Mitchell: Mm-hmm.
Old Man Murphy: mean,
Coley: Hm.
Old Man Murphy: came out right after Pong. And then the Atari system came out and then Nintendo came out and then we got ourselves an NES. We didn't get the whole we got the the package that came with the guns so you could do Mario Super Mario Bros. or Duck Hunt. We didn't get the first version that came
Ryan Mitchell: duck hunt, yeah.
Old Man Murphy: out with that little robot that would, you know, pick up things and then turn around and then drop them.
Coley: Mm.
Old Man Murphy: but yeah, my brother still has our original NES in storage at his place. And all
Ryan Mitchell: ooo
Old Man Murphy: like we have like we had like 30 or so games. but yeah, I have a lot of great memories of playing the Nintendo with with my brother. We'd stay up. play these games like wee hours of the night on a Friday night 'cause we didn't have to get up for school.
Coley: Yeah.
Ryan Mitchell: And it got too
Coley: Yeah.
Ryan Mitchell: complicated later on. Like I did Nintendo and then Super Nintendo. And then once you had to like
Old Man Murphy: Mm-hmm.
Ryan Mitchell: start pressing 12 buttons at the same time and doing this and doing that, that's when I, that's when
Old Man Murphy: Yeah.
Ryan Mitchell: I opted out of it. I'm just as simpleton over here. I'm like, I just need to press this button and this button and this button.
Coley: Sorry that your simple mind couldn't figure out the end. N sixty four
Old Man Murphy: Yeah. Yeah, just give me an A and a B and then a directional and then a select and a start, and I can do the Konami code.
Coley: Yeah.
Ryan Mitchell: Yeah.
Old Man Murphy: yeah, I mean, yeah, I I when I still don't understand. I think it was it the Nintendo 64 that I mean it had the thing, but it had the thing in the middle. And I'm like, what?
Coley: Had the thing in the middle and then it had the trigger on the back.
Ryan Mitchell: Mmm.
Old Man Murphy: Yeah, and I'm like, the fuck is this for? And I'm like,
Coley: Ha ha ha
Old Man Murphy: okay. This is getting in the way of my knuckles because my hands are big. So I'm like,
Coley: Yeah.
Old Man Murphy: okay, now I gotta hold it like this and I gotta look like I I have some kind of muscular thing going on. I'm like, why are you holding like that? Because my fingers don't fit underneath. God damn it. yeah,
Ryan Mitchell: Because it's a shitty design!
Old Man Murphy: god damn it. I mean, we we I think we had we had the Nintendo and the Super Nintendo, and then when I moved out, I got a PS1. And then just recently, I won't when I say just recently, maybe a year ago, my original PS2 died.
Coley: no.
Old Man Murphy: And I think I actually I actually still have the box because I couldn't get it repaired. I mean, I got a PS2 Slim because I still got a whole mess of PS2 games that, you know, I have survived throughout the years. but yeah, PS1 and PS2s were my jam back in the day.
Coley: That's awesome. Well, I gotta put my daughter to bed because it's not it's nine o'clock here. So but this has been fun. I I thank
Ryan Mitchell: Yeah.
Coley: you for doing this. This this was fun. Yeah,
Old Man Murphy: Thank you for having me, I appreciate this.
Coley: absolutely. so we'll let you go ahead and plug again, plug with yourself, and then we'll kind of finish it up and we'll end it up there. So go ahead.
Old Man Murphy: Yum. Okay. Yes, Old Man Murphy. you can find me on TikTok at Old Man Murphy76 underscore two point zero. you can find me on YouTube at YouTube.com slash well hey productions. that's W-E-L-L-H-E-Y Productions. you can also find me on Twitch. twitch.tv slash wellhey productions. if you go to if you go to my TikTok, you go to my YouTube, you your best bet, I'm all over posting content on TikTok all the time. But you can find on my TikTok, you can find I have a beacons.ai link which is kind of like a link tree. and it's got links for for my Facebook, my Instagram, my blue sky, my threads some merch stores, and a whole mess of other different stuff.
Coley: Nice. Yeah, well and we are offline days. That's D-A-Z-E, like dazed and confused. every time I ever Ryan, every time I say our name, I think of our very first episode when you just did your Matthew McConaughey. Exact
Old Man Murphy: All right, that's what I love about these high school girls. I get older they stay the same age.
Ryan Mitchell: Absolutely class.
Coley: So classic.
Old Man Murphy: It's it blew my mind when I found out that Ben Afflack was in that movie. And I'm like,
Ryan Mitchell: Yeah.
Old Man Murphy: wait, who's that? he's g he's the one that gets the paint dumped on him. I'm like,
Coley: Yeah. Yeah.
Old Man Murphy: no shit.
Ryan Mitchell: So many stars in that early, yeah.
Old Man Murphy: yeah.
Coley: Yeah, it's a good movie. It's a good movie for sure. anyway, we're on we're on Facebook and we're TikTok and Instagram and YouTube, and you can lit you can stream us on Apple and Spotify and all the the fun new technology that we are trying to get away of from from this podcast. but
Ryan Mitchell: Mmm.
Coley: and then we're we're still running our we're still running our promotion. If we get a thousand followers on Facebook, we are giving away two gift cards, Visa gift cards to Blockbuster. Not not to Blockbuster to pay off your Blockbuster late fees if you need to do that. And and according to Ryan and corporate, because Ryan that you have to pay your Blockbuster late fees with that fifty dollar gift card.
Ryan Mitchell: Yeah, you can't buy Milwaukee's best or anything else with it. It's got to go straight to the fucking
Old Man Murphy: Ha ha ha.
Ryan Mitchell: late fees. No offense, old man Murphy.
Coley: Ha ha.
Ryan Mitchell: well...
Old Man Murphy: I f I forgot to return Dibby does Dallas fifteen years ago, so now I don't know what the hell I'm gonna do.
Coley: You gotta sneak into
Ryan Mitchell: Mmm.
Coley: the sneak into the back where the old saloon doors were.
Ryan Mitchell: One of mine was Dr. Noddy and the night nurses.
Old Man Murphy: There's a there was a there was a a video there's a blockbuster. I mean it it turned after it went defunct it became a family video. But they had a back they had a back room and and it w there was no doors. It was just you go around and
Coley: Yeah.
Old Man Murphy: you could go well, there's the bathrooms. titties. And so I don't have to go to the bathroom anymore.
Coley: Yeah.
Ryan Mitchell: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Coley: Maybe you do just for like three minutes.
Old Man Murphy: Yeah.
Ryan Mitchell: Alright guys, it's been a blast. Thanks again, Old Man Murphy, Coley, go do your parenting.
Coley: Yeah. All right, I will
Ryan Mitchell: Alright guys,
Old Man Murphy: Ha ha.
Ryan Mitchell: y'all be good.
Coley: Yeah.