100th Episode: The Reinvention Era Begins (with Monique Marvez)

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Today's episode is different. We're not diagnosing anyone, We're not
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debating emotional chaos, and for once, I'm not opening up
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with a story that causes the tables to be turned
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in for Brian to play my therapist. Today the episode
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is where everything shifts for all of us, slowly, intentionally,
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and hopefully without any midlife crisis on the air. So
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welcome to what comes next today on Off the Couch.
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Welcome Doctor Greg, where psychology meets everyday life. I'm doctor
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Greg Case on Psychologists here with producer Brian Gomez.
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Happy Monday, guys, Oh Tuesday?
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Sorry, oh Tuesday? Well whatever today? No, I think it
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comes out on a Monday, So that's perfect. And hello,
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we have Tony Sweet on the board.
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Hi Tony, Hello, Hello, And.
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Actually today is a special episode. We are one hundred
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episodes in. We realize something that we've changed, that the
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conversations have changed, and the world somehow has changed faster
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than either of us was anticipating. Just things are going
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all around us. So we started as two guys trying
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to make a sense of human behavior has become something bigger.
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We wanted to take psychology and make it accessible for everyone.
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We wanted to add humor. That's why we often have
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some special guests who add a lot of humor. And
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we wanted to allow our own messy honesty to collide
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into something that made a magic soup. But we realized
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now we need to pivot and the reinvention era begins.
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But to help us with that, we want to talk
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about some of our We want to talk about the
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very special guests. Our most frequent guest joining us today
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is someone who knows reinvention better than anyone. She's traveled
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the world. She's worked every stage, from smoke filled comedy
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clubs to pact arenas.
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Don't oversell me, Greg, this is the truth.
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Though, This is truth stuff, and somehow still has the
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emotional range to keep us honest. So please welcome our friend,
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I mean my good friend, our show's good friend, truth teller,
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our most frequent guest, Monique Marvez.
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Yay me. I feel like if I had a punch card,
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like back in the day at tcby or something, you
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guys would owe me a free frozen yogurt.
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We get to a free or a sub Yeah yeah,
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oh that was twelve.
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Yeah they ate twelve of those. I know those well
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and In fact, it leads me to a comment. There
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was a time, not as long ago as I would
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like to say, that I was so broke greg in
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pursuit of this dream that is currently coming true, that
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when I ate twelve Subway sandwiches and I had the
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card that enabled me to have a free sandwich, I
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didn't use it immediately because that represented money. That represented
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that I knew that if there was a hitch in
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my gidea up of getting paid or how long it
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would take the check to clear, that I had a sandwich.
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That's how hard and broke and challenging pursuing the dream
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that has come true many times in many different ways.
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But you know, I play the long game. You can
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add about four zeros in the middle of that. And
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right now my dream, my vision of my life, of
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my ability to be of service, is coming true at
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another level. So our conversations have shifted dramatically over the
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past few weeks. Yes, because of the very visible obvious.
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I don't even people say you've gained you know, sixteen
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thousand Instagram followers in less than two months. How did
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you do that? Who did you pay? How was it done?
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I have done zero zero I've been witnessed protection comedian.
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I am so bad and yet and yet I have
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been I have found this amazing grace. I once was lost,
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but now I'm found. And that is I think leading
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us into this conversation.
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I think it is. I mean, I just want to
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kind of back up a little bit to say we
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didn't know each other before this. I've said before that
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I listened to you on KFI. I had no idea
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who you were. I had no idea what you look like.
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I just enjoyed listening to you. I just did you
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like I'm.
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Curious what did you like about me?
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That at the time, I didn't know that you were
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a comedian. I actually thought you were just someone who
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was very insightful and was yeah, who was very fun
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to listen to, very good to listen to. And I
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had a picture in my head. I think that wasn't you.
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It was not so calmon, you know, but I but
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but none of the les less I mean, actually, and
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I did not that I picture air talent as unattractive,
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but I was actually struck by how attractive you were. Well,
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thank you so, because you know, people always say she
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has the first right, but that isn't the case with you.
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But we met on air. I mean essentially, I met
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you in the hallway and we started a lot of
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seconds later at a lobby and did a show bill
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I first, and that really started a friendship which started
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a lot of things to happen. Started a big rock
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to roll down the hill and gather a lot of moss.
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Here here's what's interesting. Number one, I remember the day
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I met our Senial Hall. Yeah, now a lot of
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people don't remember because it's been a minute over thirty
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five years. When our Senio Hall was so hot on TV.
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He was so hot? What was this?
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Oh, but when Craig that literally there was a Johnny
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Carson sketch called Carcinia where they did like a Johnny
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Carson sketch. It was very funny. And I loved him
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and admired him still do and when I were friends,
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and because I met him at hermosa and I asked
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to take a picture with him and I said, I'm
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also a comedian. I'm Monique Marvez. And he was like, ah,
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I listened to you on Serious XM. I love He
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was a bully and effusive, amazing And then he said
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to me that's what you look like. What did you
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think they look like? Is it, I don't know, a short,
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fat Mexican or something. I didn't think you were hot.
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I mean, that's kind of I have to say, not
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that you have a non hot voice.
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It's just the radio.
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You just have a different expectation, get it.
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And I and I've always been surprised by the voices,
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the people behind the voices.
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Well, the reason I'm telling that story is because I'm
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I used the word you want intuitive tapped in connected.
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I knew when I saw your picture. When our mutual
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friend who's a publicist, said Hey, would you like to
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be on this guy's show. I went to your website
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to research you, and I saw your picture and I
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saw what you were about, and I read the little
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blurb and I just know things. I said, this is
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going to go very, very well. And then I walked
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in the lobby and met you and Brian and I
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always jokingly say that if you guys would have had tails,
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they would have been wagging because you were so welcoming
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and the show, that first show, you know, it just
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went and the fact that you were two guys that
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had started with a mission and an agenda and you
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know your generosity. I think I spoke the vast majority
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of that first show, and you know, poor Brian, I
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thought you guys were a little bit like Sheels and
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Yar Nail or if you want to be more racing. Okay, Feller, No,
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that was for you.
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That was for you. It was a mind act that
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actually had a talk. They had like a variety show. Great. Razy, Yeah,
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they were great, But it's so funny.
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They were always guests on, like Sonny and Cher or
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the Captain and to Neil, but and and even Darryl
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Dragon never spoke. The Captain spoke very rare.
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Although I did see he and Tony Taneil having an
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argument in a restaurant I worked at.
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Oh my goodness.
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Oh well.
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The point I'm making is is that I.
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Shouldn't say we heard it, but I loved it to.
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Hear Darryl Dragon's voice. But the point I'm making is
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the generosity of spirit of both of you, of me
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being not just a frequent guest, but I kind of
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hijack things because that's that's what I do. So what
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I'm going to explain is a little bit about me,
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and then we're going to get back to you, okay,
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Because now I'm a grown up and I know how
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it works. I call it the mozone, and I am
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a catalyst.
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You know.
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It's kind of like candy Man, candy Man, candy Man,
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or beetlejuice, beetlejuice, beetle juice. When people put me in
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their movie, people put me in their life, they're at
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a crossroads. There's no one that becomes close to me
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stays the same, No one, not one person that I
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have loved or that loves me. And it's usually mutual,
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because I can't think of a single case where love
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me and I didn't love them back, or vice versa.
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When someone comes close, I am a human hurricane my
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whole life. People have said you're a force of nature,
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and they didn't say it necessarily as a compliment, and
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I didn't take it necessarily as a compliment. But now
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as I've gotten older, not only do I take it
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as a compliment, I take it as a mission, as
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a purpose, as a destiny that people bring me into
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their movie, and I bring people into my movie at
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crossroads and turning points where they want me to come
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in like a force of nature and blow away and
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flood and disappear and vanish and tornado out whatever isn't
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working for them anymore. And in doing so, because it's
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all an illusion, I do it for myself. It reminds me,
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Oh yeah, that behavior Chuck's doing. I used to do that,
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like twelve minutes ago. It didn't work for me. I'm
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so glad I can help Chuck stop doing it. That's
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what I do.
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You do, and I have to say for me, And
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in so many ways you've done that, you say make
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me question myself to what is my purpose? I often think,
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in many ways, my job has been to calm things down.
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And we're perfect, and maybe that is it. No, I'm
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a hurricane. I am a hurricane of a human being,
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and I used to try not to be.
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And you know what, hurricanes don't bother me. I've actually
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been in real hurricane too well. I mean, I can
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say when I was about when I was way out
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to sea on a cruise ship and we had to
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go through a hurricane. I think it was a three
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level street around the edge. It was scary. Oh, we
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were we had to go all the way out. We
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were avoiding a hurricane, but the hurricanes shifted our way
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with look. So then we had drew go through it
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at the shortest point we could, and we had twenty
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two foot swells that I mean. I was on the
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I think on the seventh floor, and we had waves
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crashing against our room. I mean it was the ship
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is listening. We couldn't even stand up the whole time.
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You had to crawl, like if you needed to use
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the restroom something it was it was, and you didn't
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use your pants. It was more than twenty well, people
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got very sick. Two people died. I mean, it was
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actually a fairly severe crew. But that one hurricane I'll
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have to say, I'm glad that was over. But I've
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been through ones on land not quite as bad. But
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it's you know, I don't think that hurricanes are a
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bad thing. They're just an effect of nature that I
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do have to say. I don't experience you as a hurricane.
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You may very well be a hurricane. But maybe I
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get to sit in the eye of the storm, so
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it's okay.
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You're in the outer winds. You're in the outer winds,
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and maybe you are in the eye of the storm.
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Maybe you are absolutely at the center of it. That
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you know, and in fact, it's interesting because as quiet
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and generous as Brian is, I'd be curious, Brian, would
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would you say that's an accurate assessment of me?
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Yes, No, no, for sure, and not in a bad
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way like you said, it's I've never seen.
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You like anything negative or anything.
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I just feel like you have a strong presence, you know,
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and it's that thing that people can't look away from,
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you know, where thank you, you see a star and
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you're like, that's that. Not that people aren't special, but
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you know when someone is special and you just see
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it radiate from them. You know, the way you talk,
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the way you tell stories, the way you interact with
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people around you, like you can tell there's something special
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about you.
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Thank you, You're welcome. And I think that my gift
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might what I want to do. Everybody keeps talking, you know.
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And in fact, I have a purse that I bought
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this year to remind me. I bought it on clearance
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and I got a discount on the ship. It's a
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Carl Logerfeld, yes, but it's snakes.
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So the.
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Snake and I'm not that person. I don't do trendy,
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I don't I do drift store, but I bought that
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purse a I liked it and b as a reminder
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because I got it early in the year last year
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that this was my year to shed. Now the reality
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is I hate snakes, but this year I made peace
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with the concept of the snake. I really I don't.
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It's so interesting. You know, why do people hate snakes?
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We do. It's built in us. You're a psychologist, you
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can probably look this up. I believe that the two
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things that human beings inherently are afraid of are snakes
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and heights. I read that somewhere we actually wild animals
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and heights.
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Yes. Yeah, and the dark, by the way, is another one,
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believe it or not. That's actually I know it doesn't
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scare me, but that is and closed in spaces. These
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are natural, inborn fears. Some people have more than other people.
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Like some people aren't the least bit afraid of heights.
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I'm absolutely not one of those people, and like, snakes
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don't bother me. But I do understand that people are
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quite afraid of them, and that's that's for good reason,
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because they could actually cause them harm, certain snakes especially.
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But yeah, well it's any kind like that, any kind
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of wild animal.
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They could anywhile. Okay, that hurt you, right, So I
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made peace with the idea of snakes this year because
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of shedding, and because in a weird way, you know,
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what's this the story of the Garden of Eden. I
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think that kind of started as sort of a biblical
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hatred of the snake. And when they say, you know,
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the snake talked or into doing something, you know, I
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think our snake is our shadow self, or it's the
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voices of others. My father told me, and I didn't
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listen until recently with all of my beingness. My father said,
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the mistakes you make on your own you will get
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over and you'll learn the things that stick in your
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craw and torment you is when you knew better when
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you listen to someone else and you went against yourself,
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and you did that thing when someone else talked you
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into And he said, when you go against yourself, that's
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the thing you don't get over. And he used to
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tell me trust the veracity of your own mind. He said, Monique,
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even if you think I'm wrong, do what you think
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is right. I'll get over it. And I think that
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this year I shed any fear I had of just
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trusting myself and eradicating any voices or influences that are
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not supporting what I know to be true. You know,
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under the guise of I don't want to hurt anybody's
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feelings or I don't want to be misunderstood, or the
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all of that, but the turkey gobble in our head
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of you know, I'm done with that. That's what I
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shed in twenty twenty five. I'm going to do what
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I know to be right in my being this and
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trust the veracity of my own mind, of my own knowingness.
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It's bigger than my mind. It's it's my spirit, it's
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my there's a knowingness within all of us that I
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this year decided was going to drive the car one.
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Everything else is going in the back seat, not even
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the passenger seat.
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That's why this episode we didn't expect to have. You
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didn't expect to come on. I didn't expect to have
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you on. And the reason is because you know we're dealing.
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We've come to the one hundredth episode and all of
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a sudden, I'm facing a few cliffs, and I've faced
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certain deaths in my life. I mean real, actual ones,
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my sister, my brother, and that my brother in law,
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but that that was you know, but my sister and brothers, Yeah,
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we're just it was just very hard those experiences. But
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nonetheless that kind of made me start to look at
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things differently. I mean, if I was very much much
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experiencing them, and and now I think a different phase
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is happening, in a different era that I'm having to
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experience a death within myself of like what is important
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to me and what do I want going forward? And
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although we had already talked about doing a project and
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we've been working on a project and we'll talk about that,
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that started to become hotter for me because I'm like,
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this is where I want to focus my energy and
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time and that we are gonna we're gonna make something together,
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not just we, you and me, but we you meet Brian,
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and then also there's Brian's going to be involved, and
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uh there's even another person who's going to have involvement
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maybe who knows from there.
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But uh, to back be just to tease.
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That a little bit, we'll come back to it. I
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want to talk about our own show here with division
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of Off the Couch with Doctor Greg. It was a
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show that we wanted to make Psychology for everybody, because
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when I would watch these shows, I would either watch
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these Namby Pamby advice shows, which are wildly popular, but
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I would think, oh my god, that person's giving bad
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advice that's not based on you know, research, We know
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that not to be true. It sounds good, you know.
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I would hear that kind of stuff and it would
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really bother me. And then I would also know that
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so much good knowledge was getting passed over. Like I
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read all these things all the time that are just
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absolutely fascinating. I can't tell you the rich amount of
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knowledge that's constantly being generated every week by all these
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universities and all these people. So I wanted to make
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it everyday life. I want to make a research back
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therapy inspired I want and really we've done a lot
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of great things, but after one hundred episodes, I think
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we started to pivot. We feel a need for a pivot,
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to start to tighten things. And it's not that I
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want to step back so that I want to step up.
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I want to actually help.
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Us to do how even more of an impact? May
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I make a suggestion in real time?
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Yes?
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Because I didn't know what your show was about. I've
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just been a guest, and I've gotten and then I've
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gotten to know you. Now, have you ever heard of
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the book You're a Badass by Jensen Sarah? No? Okay,
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you know no, Okay, Well it's a super mega bestseller.
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Yeah, well they somehow passed me by too.
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No worries, and and I and it, And here's what
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I'm going to tell you about it. In one million years,
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I would have never purchased it for myself. It's not
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the kind of book I read, nor do I care
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about it. But I have a girlfriend who's not woo woo.
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She's not she's she's a secular and and you know,
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I can't even think of the right word to use.
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Dry hump comes to mind, but that's mean. But she's
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she's she doesn't lean into anything outside of her own knowingness.
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What what the materialism of the world of if it
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can't be seen or touched or you know? That's that
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that paradigm. I said, Okay, So she said, I read
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this book and I loved it, and it changed a
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lot of things for me. And I'm going to send
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you a copy for your birthday. And I was like, well,
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if I'm not going to say her name, now, but
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I said, dry homp. I said, I said, you know,
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if so and so got something out of this self
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help book, because that's what it is. Ultimately, I'm going
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to read it. Well, three things came from it. And
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I'm telling you this for a reason.
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Okay.
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Number one, this woman Jensen Sero, without the benefit of
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any formal education or from what I can see, any
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kind of high IQ. She's very good at marketing. Read
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a bunch of self help books, The Secret The Science
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of Getting Written. She read a bunch of books, distilled
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them through her own mind, wrote them in shorthand spit
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them out in the parlance of our day, and added
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her own spin. And guess what it was great? It's great.
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00:20:59.079 --> 00:21:00.920
See I'm a positive You thought I was going to
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00:21:00.960 --> 00:21:03.640
go in another direction. But what I got from You're
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00:21:03.680 --> 00:21:08.480
a badass is that people can read these books. Whether
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00:21:08.519 --> 00:21:10.799
it's Think and Grow Rich, which I love, whether it's
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the Science of Getting Rich Wallace Waddles, which I adore,
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Whatever these books are, they're there. What I will tell you,
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00:21:17.640 --> 00:21:23.319
Greg Cason, PhD bestie friend, Disney Date, is that nobody
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00:21:23.519 --> 00:21:27.680
wants to hear a dry hump study. People want to
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00:21:27.839 --> 00:21:33.400
hear what has filtered through your brilliant mind, sensitive heart,
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00:21:33.839 --> 00:21:39.599
huge spirit, generosity, life experience that sets you apart being
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00:21:39.640 --> 00:21:44.680
involved in long term relationships with challenging people, whether it's friends,
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00:21:44.759 --> 00:21:49.519
or your family or now me, whatever it is. You know,
402
00:21:49.759 --> 00:21:52.519
I used to rail with my program director at KFI
403
00:21:52.640 --> 00:21:54.680
because I said, nobody cares about the news. They can
404
00:21:54.680 --> 00:21:57.960
get it on their phone. People come to KFI for
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00:21:58.119 --> 00:22:02.119
our take, our spin, our vision, vibe and whatever you
406
00:22:02.240 --> 00:22:05.640
do next on off the couch with Brian. I'm inviting
407
00:22:05.680 --> 00:22:10.160
you to make it. You You're the magic, You're the money,
408
00:22:10.200 --> 00:22:13.160
You're the thing. And you have a very hard time
409
00:22:13.240 --> 00:22:15.039
hearing that when I say it to you in person.
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00:22:15.319 --> 00:22:17.000
So now I'm gonna say it on camera, in front
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of your fans, in front of Brian, in front of
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whoever's listening. If anybody has watched multiple episodes of your show,
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00:22:26.519 --> 00:22:31.160
it's not for the studies, It's for you. And that's
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the reason why I'm excited about working with you, is
415
00:22:33.680 --> 00:22:38.640
because I am going to continuously be a force of
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nature to blow away whatever fears and doubts and moldy
417
00:22:43.640 --> 00:22:46.039
leaves of you have in your mind of the fact
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that you're the magic it's it's in your head.
419
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Well, thank you, but thank you. Just no butts, Joe,
420
00:22:54.920 --> 00:22:58.160
just take the compliment. Please putting my butt away, covering
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00:22:58.279 --> 00:23:00.160
up my butt. I'm gonna say.
422
00:23:00.640 --> 00:23:07.119
Brian definitely agrees with you. I know he does. Brian,
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is this not the conversation we've had two hundred times. Yeah.
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00:23:12.240 --> 00:23:15.400
So it's nice to you know, have an ally. Yeah,
425
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to be seen. But I feel like we did have
426
00:23:19.640 --> 00:23:22.119
moments where we were trying so hard to figure out
427
00:23:22.200 --> 00:23:25.880
what would catch that we weren't, you know, just being us,
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like you said, and I feel like it took a
429
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while for us to finally get the flow. And even
430
00:23:30.000 --> 00:23:31.920
when you would come on, it helps, you know, because
431
00:23:31.960 --> 00:23:34.599
we both pushed Greg to be out of his comfort.
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Oh my god, let all my mode, you know. I
433
00:23:37.559 --> 00:23:40.119
feel like my this is all me, it's all me.
434
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Well, nonetheless, thank you and my fans when we did
435
00:23:45.440 --> 00:23:48.240
the last Friends with Privileges I have done just so
436
00:23:48.359 --> 00:23:52.720
you know, I have thirteen thousand subs on YouTube, have
437
00:23:52.839 --> 00:23:57.480
gained thirty three thousand, one hundred subs posting one show
438
00:23:57.640 --> 00:24:01.079
a month, one just my favorite one one show a month,
439
00:24:01.200 --> 00:24:03.000
which is an hour long show which is Friends with
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00:24:03.079 --> 00:24:06.400
privilege with zero promotion outside of the bubble of my fans.
441
00:24:06.559 --> 00:24:10.720
Zero We've cut zero clips of Friends with nothing other
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00:24:10.799 --> 00:24:13.960
than anybody that watched it live and then went back
443
00:24:14.000 --> 00:24:17.200
to revisit it. And that being said, three of the
444
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shows are over one thousand, so think about one thousand
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people watching for sixty minutes. I mean the algorithm, the ability.
446
00:24:26.319 --> 00:24:29.920
And my fans comment and they the last show they
447
00:24:29.920 --> 00:24:35.079
said doctor Greg was so loose and comfortable. He's finally
448
00:24:35.200 --> 00:24:39.000
getting it because and they mean that as a compliment,
449
00:24:39.519 --> 00:24:43.480
because they realize it the autopsy that you're oh, they're vicious,
450
00:24:43.599 --> 00:24:45.440
although I mean no, they don't. They will tell me
451
00:24:45.480 --> 00:24:49.440
they like my lipstick color. My fans are very engaged, as.
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00:24:49.319 --> 00:24:54.200
You know, her friends, her fans are so delightfully devoted.
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It's I love watching you interact with your fans. I
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love watching the reflection of you in their eyes.
455
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It's actually incredible to watch well and that everything I've
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00:25:10.400 --> 00:25:14.319
done and I wish I used to wish I was different.
457
00:25:14.319 --> 00:25:15.720
I'm going to take it back like you're putting your
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butt away. I don't wish anything. The bottom line is
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I'm missing parts. I'm like Ikea furniture when you put
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00:25:21.720 --> 00:25:23.880
it together, and there's parts on these instructions that didn't
461
00:25:23.880 --> 00:25:26.160
go in, and you're scared, like, are these drawers going
462
00:25:26.200 --> 00:25:32.359
to collapse? I am learning social media as a divine experiment,
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00:25:33.079 --> 00:25:38.400
as the ability to have divinity come into your life
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in a way that you don't expect it. So rather
465
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than be and I've had to change, it's this thing
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that I shed, rather than be apprehensive about the speed
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and exposure of which everything moves and try to have
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some sort of control over some I don't know image,
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some understanding of how I want people to perceive me,
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and then just be the thing. Just be the thing,
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Be the thing you want people to see. And if
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00:26:05.960 --> 00:26:09.240
you're that thing all the time, there is no fourth
473
00:26:09.240 --> 00:26:12.640
wall anymore. If I am one hundred percent met all day,
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every day, there's no chance anything's ever gonna get posted
475
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or shown or shared that I'm not gonna like because
476
00:26:19.400 --> 00:26:22.720
it's me. So if I'm not in the mood to
477
00:26:22.720 --> 00:26:25.039
be a nice person, to be the person I know
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myself to be, then I stay in my apartment.
479
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You know it just it really struck me something just now,
480
00:26:30.599 --> 00:26:32.839
and what you said, and this sounds so funny, but
481
00:26:32.960 --> 00:26:35.000
you know, I was in a reality show. God what
482
00:26:35.039 --> 00:26:38.599
happened many years now, twelve years ago, thirteen twelve years ago,
483
00:26:38.920 --> 00:26:45.000
And it got to a point reality shows, I try
484
00:26:45.039 --> 00:26:46.640
to tell people are not reality.
485
00:26:46.720 --> 00:26:49.119
Although the fakest thing going ch stage.
486
00:26:49.200 --> 00:26:51.680
There's so much that's scripted and so much of this,
487
00:26:52.480 --> 00:26:55.799
and then you you manipulated in every way. You try
488
00:26:55.799 --> 00:26:57.400
to keep it as real as possible. And I think
489
00:26:57.440 --> 00:27:00.680
we managed in several ways, which is really great, but
490
00:27:00.799 --> 00:27:03.200
some things were you know, a little bit here and there.
491
00:27:03.480 --> 00:27:05.880
What was so great And I think the essence of
492
00:27:05.920 --> 00:27:08.680
me came through on that show. This was La Shrinks
493
00:27:08.680 --> 00:27:13.039
on Bravo. And one thing about that show that really
494
00:27:13.079 --> 00:27:16.440
taught me is people saw me how they saw me,
495
00:27:16.920 --> 00:27:20.519
and I got a lot of flak for things that
496
00:27:20.599 --> 00:27:23.359
I didn't even do, like people would just say things.
497
00:27:23.839 --> 00:27:26.720
And I developed a thick skin at that point. But
498
00:27:26.839 --> 00:27:28.160
then when you're doing your.
499
00:27:28.000 --> 00:27:31.160
Own podcast, all of a sudden, I didn't have.
500
00:27:31.759 --> 00:27:34.200
I always always think, oh, it's the show, it's their
501
00:27:34.240 --> 00:27:37.200
reacting to the show. I'm just a cog in the machine,
502
00:27:37.400 --> 00:27:40.680
like it's just the show. So I had a thick skin,
503
00:27:40.839 --> 00:27:43.359
but I think I had a false defense in that
504
00:27:43.440 --> 00:27:45.920
the show is just doing what it's doing, and people
505
00:27:45.920 --> 00:27:50.559
are reacting to that here when we talk and when
506
00:27:50.599 --> 00:27:53.640
we talk especially on Friends with Privileges. That's the podcast
507
00:27:53.680 --> 00:27:57.559
we're doing together, is that it's very real and in
508
00:27:57.599 --> 00:28:02.440
the moment, and that the fear inside of me is
509
00:28:02.519 --> 00:28:05.160
becoming exposed on a whole different level.
510
00:28:05.200 --> 00:28:09.319
What are you afraid of? Maybe I'm afraid people won't
511
00:28:09.440 --> 00:28:13.559
like me for who I am. Okay, Well that begs
512
00:28:13.599 --> 00:28:14.839
the question. Do you like you?
513
00:28:15.720 --> 00:28:17.279
I do really actually like me.
514
00:28:17.559 --> 00:28:20.119
I actually you should be fine. I like spending time
515
00:28:20.200 --> 00:28:23.079
with me. I got to be honest with you myself.
516
00:28:23.359 --> 00:28:26.359
I think you're amazing. I've always I've always liked me
517
00:28:26.440 --> 00:28:29.559
pretty well for the most par Huh. But the last year,
518
00:28:30.319 --> 00:28:33.720
this year has been the best year of my life. Yeah,
519
00:28:33.799 --> 00:28:35.279
it's been the best year of my life. And not
520
00:28:35.359 --> 00:28:38.559
because I gained social media presence or went viral or
521
00:28:38.559 --> 00:28:41.839
got booked into theaters. These are a byproduct of the
522
00:28:41.880 --> 00:28:47.440
fact that January the eighth, as the fires were burning,
523
00:28:48.039 --> 00:28:51.160
my landlord, I was renting from an owner in a
524
00:28:51.240 --> 00:28:54.079
very nice condo, said this is my best chance of
525
00:28:54.119 --> 00:28:58.599
getting my money. I'm going to I'm going to sell
526
00:28:58.720 --> 00:29:01.359
the unit you're in that I was very comfortable and
527
00:29:01.400 --> 00:29:06.160
happy in and rather than be afraid, within a week
528
00:29:06.200 --> 00:29:09.640
of the New year, you know, I texted him back.
529
00:29:09.680 --> 00:29:12.799
I said, guess what. I want you to sell it for, Cat.
530
00:29:12.880 --> 00:29:16.720
I want a cash buyer that wants it right away
531
00:29:17.319 --> 00:29:21.279
and asking price. And I want you to have to
532
00:29:21.279 --> 00:29:25.240
tell me the GTFO. I want that for you. I
533
00:29:25.279 --> 00:29:27.480
want that for This is not hyperbole, I do.
534
00:29:27.880 --> 00:29:29.799
I was there in real time. This is what happened.
535
00:29:29.920 --> 00:29:32.440
Yes, I mean literally, I was at JFK and my
536
00:29:32.480 --> 00:29:35.240
neighbors were sending me pictures of the fire from the
537
00:29:35.319 --> 00:29:38.480
roof of our building and saying, don't come home, stay
538
00:29:38.519 --> 00:29:41.200
in New York. While I'm looking at that, I'm getting
539
00:29:41.240 --> 00:29:43.640
a text from my owner. I can't blame the guy.
540
00:29:43.680 --> 00:29:46.279
He's a smart man. He figures my best chance. And
541
00:29:47.000 --> 00:29:51.240
that being said, that set off a cascade. I was
542
00:29:51.279 --> 00:29:53.839
in a car accident. My car was totld. I haven't
543
00:29:53.839 --> 00:29:56.640
owned a car since May twelfth. Guess what, don't miss it.
544
00:29:57.279 --> 00:30:01.079
And the more I let go of any fears that
545
00:30:01.119 --> 00:30:04.640
the universe is not only conspiring on my behalf but
546
00:30:04.799 --> 00:30:07.440
is going to do a way better job than me,
547
00:30:08.319 --> 00:30:10.200
the better things go.
548
00:30:10.599 --> 00:30:13.119
Yeah, and in fact, this is not BS because I've
549
00:30:13.160 --> 00:30:14.440
witnessed this up close.
550
00:30:14.839 --> 00:30:16.160
You're my friend, Yeah.
551
00:30:15.920 --> 00:30:18.559
But so I mean, I just want to underline that
552
00:30:18.559 --> 00:30:20.759
that is the truth, that you're not like.
553
00:30:21.240 --> 00:30:23.079
The first person I called after my car tried to
554
00:30:23.119 --> 00:30:27.000
kill my I'm kidding, but it was an electric car
555
00:30:27.279 --> 00:30:29.200
kind of sort of. It was an electric car that
556
00:30:29.279 --> 00:30:29.640
I loved.
557
00:30:29.759 --> 00:30:32.680
There's a reason I named my first electric car hal Yeah,
558
00:30:33.480 --> 00:30:35.200
from two thousand and one a space on this.
559
00:30:35.599 --> 00:30:37.880
My car when I first got it did this weird
560
00:30:37.920 --> 00:30:41.039
thing where it would just surge forward wildly, but it
561
00:30:41.079 --> 00:30:43.720
would do it on the open highway or nobody in
562
00:30:43.720 --> 00:30:47.599
front of me or you know, and it troubled me.
563
00:30:48.000 --> 00:30:49.279
Yeah, but you know, I.
564
00:30:49.319 --> 00:30:51.240
Was like, Okay, I guess I'll just get used to it.
565
00:30:51.279 --> 00:30:53.920
So I would hover my foot on the brake so
566
00:30:53.960 --> 00:30:55.559
that I knew when it did a weird thing if
567
00:30:55.599 --> 00:30:58.400
I needed to tap the brake, right. I adjusted myself
568
00:30:58.400 --> 00:31:02.039
to the electric car. Well. Monday May twelfth, coming home
569
00:31:02.079 --> 00:31:05.000
from hot yoga and stop and go traffic on Sunset
570
00:31:05.079 --> 00:31:08.839
Boulevard in front of the Palladium, A livery car stopped
571
00:31:08.839 --> 00:31:11.519
in front of me to let someone out in the
572
00:31:11.519 --> 00:31:15.119
middle of Sunset and my car while I was kind
573
00:31:15.160 --> 00:31:18.839
of in neutral, kind of in stop and go, lurched
574
00:31:18.920 --> 00:31:23.240
forward and rear ended. I mean I tapped the brake,
575
00:31:23.279 --> 00:31:26.920
I stepped on it and screened, and I called you
576
00:31:27.519 --> 00:31:30.440
within moments and I said, Hey, did your car ever
577
00:31:30.519 --> 00:31:32.960
do this? And you said yeah, all the time, and
578
00:31:33.000 --> 00:31:35.119
I know there's been a recall and blah blah blah.
579
00:31:35.200 --> 00:31:36.279
And once I knew that, I.
580
00:31:36.359 --> 00:31:38.359
Was even a little different than that, because I remember
581
00:31:38.400 --> 00:31:40.319
you called me and told me what happened, I said,
582
00:31:40.359 --> 00:31:44.039
I absolutely believe it. Yes, that was the exact word,
583
00:31:44.160 --> 00:31:48.440
because I was like, I knew that myself has experienced this,
584
00:31:48.799 --> 00:31:52.680
and I kept encountering people who would say, well, that
585
00:31:52.799 --> 00:31:55.359
must have been you. It must have been you must
586
00:31:55.400 --> 00:31:57.480
have put your foot on the wrong thing, it must
587
00:31:57.480 --> 00:31:58.319
have been this or that.
588
00:31:58.480 --> 00:31:58.680
Yep.
589
00:31:58.759 --> 00:32:01.680
And everyone who's ex experience this has to go through
590
00:32:01.680 --> 00:32:03.640
this with the people around them correct.
591
00:32:04.079 --> 00:32:07.000
And the reason I'm telling this is because again I
592
00:32:07.119 --> 00:32:10.480
trusted myself. Yeah, I trusted you. And then I called
593
00:32:10.839 --> 00:32:13.440
the car company. I'd rather not say because they've been
594
00:32:13.440 --> 00:32:15.480
good to me, but I called the car company and
595
00:32:15.519 --> 00:32:18.240
I left a message with their haunchos and I called
596
00:32:18.240 --> 00:32:20.559
the guy that sold me the card. But before I
597
00:32:20.599 --> 00:32:23.400
spoke to my insurance agent the next day, I was
598
00:32:23.480 --> 00:32:25.960
locked and loaded with this is what happened, believe it
599
00:32:26.039 --> 00:32:30.279
or not, and and I stood up for myself. The
600
00:32:30.319 --> 00:32:33.400
point of the story is the old me would have
601
00:32:33.400 --> 00:32:35.880
been afraid of, you know, the man whatever that is,
602
00:32:35.920 --> 00:32:39.720
my insurance agent, the things outside of me that I
603
00:32:39.720 --> 00:32:43.200
have always thought kind of run the game. And now
604
00:32:43.279 --> 00:32:45.799
it's like, no, it's inside of me. I run the game.
605
00:32:46.319 --> 00:32:49.440
I make decisions. I decide how I'm going to react
606
00:32:49.440 --> 00:32:54.440
to this. And it's incredible that again going back to
607
00:32:54.599 --> 00:32:56.680
I'm not afraid to move, I'm gonna end up in
608
00:32:56.720 --> 00:33:00.599
a better place i did. I'm gonna enjoy being free
609
00:33:00.640 --> 00:33:02.279
of a car because this is a busy year and
610
00:33:02.359 --> 00:33:05.839
I'm very booked. It's been great. I never have to
611
00:33:05.839 --> 00:33:08.279
worry about an uber. I drop off a car, I
612
00:33:08.319 --> 00:33:11.079
pick up a car. There's always one waiting. I don't
613
00:33:11.119 --> 00:33:14.000
have to wash it. This year has been a year
614
00:33:14.079 --> 00:33:17.920
of me challenging what I thought were the norms or
615
00:33:17.960 --> 00:33:19.880
the conventions, or what I was afraid of, or what
616
00:33:19.920 --> 00:33:22.440
I had to have to be a normal person. You know,
617
00:33:23.440 --> 00:33:26.200
people say, you don't have a car, No, you live
618
00:33:26.240 --> 00:33:28.240
in La and you don't own a car. Brian's laughing
619
00:33:28.240 --> 00:33:29.839
because he's in the same position.
620
00:33:30.319 --> 00:33:34.079
Yeah, I feel like we all had our own year
621
00:33:36.039 --> 00:33:39.279
is the year was of something, was of something, you know.
622
00:33:39.960 --> 00:33:42.279
But I used to be like, Oh, wouldn't it be
623
00:33:42.359 --> 00:33:44.000
so nice to just be one of those people that
624
00:33:44.079 --> 00:33:47.880
walked everywhere in town and look at me now? But
625
00:33:47.960 --> 00:33:51.039
I've enjoyed not having a car for almost a year,
626
00:33:51.160 --> 00:33:54.000
you know, Like you said I I also, I was
627
00:33:54.039 --> 00:33:57.039
gonna say whenever. I don't like to read. I hate reading,
628
00:33:57.079 --> 00:33:58.920
as bad as that sounds. But there was a book
629
00:33:58.960 --> 00:34:03.240
that I got from bookshelf called Healing Spaces, and I
630
00:34:03.319 --> 00:34:05.519
love that book so much that I want to you.
631
00:34:07.440 --> 00:34:10.719
It was adventurous the way I don't even know how
632
00:34:10.760 --> 00:34:12.599
to describe it. It was like it takes you on
633
00:34:12.639 --> 00:34:16.079
this journey and you are just I can visually see
634
00:34:16.119 --> 00:34:17.079
what they're talking about.
635
00:34:17.159 --> 00:34:19.679
Let me explain the books. It's written by a physician
636
00:34:19.840 --> 00:34:22.039
and it is a woman who really started to look
637
00:34:22.079 --> 00:34:26.840
at the impact in environment to how it affects mood, productivity,
638
00:34:26.880 --> 00:34:30.320
and all kinds of things. And she, in Healing Spaces,
639
00:34:30.840 --> 00:34:34.639
was looking at spaces that are specially helpful when it
640
00:34:34.639 --> 00:34:38.320
comes to health and so she you know, she was
641
00:34:38.360 --> 00:34:41.840
taking research and really distilling it into more common language,
642
00:34:42.239 --> 00:34:44.679
and she is quite an interesting figure and that really
643
00:34:44.719 --> 00:34:47.239
had a great deal of impact on Brian, which actually
644
00:34:47.239 --> 00:34:49.639
I'm sorry, I just wanted to kind of say what
645
00:34:49.679 --> 00:34:52.840
the book was, But then that led you into a journey.
646
00:34:53.079 --> 00:34:55.719
Yeah, because now in the future I want to have
647
00:34:55.840 --> 00:34:58.519
like a for profit and a nonprofit business from that
648
00:34:58.639 --> 00:35:01.119
business from that book itself. And then one of the
649
00:35:01.159 --> 00:35:03.400
places it talks about is a place in France and
650
00:35:03.440 --> 00:35:06.280
I went to it last year and it just talks
651
00:35:06.280 --> 00:35:08.000
about all these miracles that happened there.
652
00:35:09.159 --> 00:35:12.199
Lord you went to Lord, Yeah, and I was.
653
00:35:12.199 --> 00:35:14.039
Just like, were there people crawling towards it?
654
00:35:14.199 --> 00:35:16.480
Well, there are people in like wheelchairs.
655
00:35:16.519 --> 00:35:16.800
It was.
656
00:35:17.320 --> 00:35:20.519
It was beautiful in a way that I didn't expect
657
00:35:20.559 --> 00:35:23.239
it to the thing. And I understood the health, I
658
00:35:23.360 --> 00:35:27.360
understood how the environment there. It's so small and surrounded
659
00:35:27.360 --> 00:35:30.719
by mountains and green and there's this big, beautiful creek.
660
00:35:31.079 --> 00:35:32.440
It was just like out of a movie.
661
00:35:32.559 --> 00:35:32.760
You know.
662
00:35:32.880 --> 00:35:34.639
They've made many movies about it.
663
00:35:34.679 --> 00:35:37.880
Actually, there is one that there is one that I
664
00:35:37.920 --> 00:35:40.159
saw that I need to watch because a lot of
665
00:35:40.159 --> 00:35:41.880
people do pilgrimage.
666
00:35:42.079 --> 00:35:44.880
It's a big deal. But I was raised Catholic, so
667
00:35:45.159 --> 00:35:48.679
you know, I'm very familiar with it. We all were
668
00:35:48.679 --> 00:35:49.320
in this room.
669
00:35:49.840 --> 00:35:51.960
But the one thing I wanted to go there with
670
00:35:52.039 --> 00:35:54.719
intention just not to just see what it was about
671
00:35:54.800 --> 00:35:57.760
or I wanted to get something out of it. And
672
00:35:57.800 --> 00:36:00.320
the one thing that I had felt like the last
673
00:36:00.639 --> 00:36:04.239
eight nine years, I had lost myself, you know, in
674
00:36:04.280 --> 00:36:09.079
life just overall everything that I was doing and working
675
00:36:09.159 --> 00:36:13.000
and relationship everything, and I wanted to find myself. I
676
00:36:13.079 --> 00:36:16.360
wanted so badly to come back to me, that core
677
00:36:16.559 --> 00:36:20.119
me that I love, that people loved to just gravitate
678
00:36:20.159 --> 00:36:22.360
to me, because I felt like I had lost it completely,
679
00:36:22.480 --> 00:36:26.199
you know. And it literally like a month or two
680
00:36:26.239 --> 00:36:30.159
after my whole world kind of fell apart. And the
681
00:36:30.199 --> 00:36:32.440
whole time I knew it was because of that, Like
682
00:36:32.559 --> 00:36:34.159
I knew that's what I.
683
00:36:34.119 --> 00:36:34.760
Had asked for.
684
00:36:35.639 --> 00:36:38.440
All these things that in my head were falling apart,
685
00:36:38.719 --> 00:36:41.480
were things being removed out of my life that I
686
00:36:41.559 --> 00:36:46.320
did not need, you know, things that were making me stressed, sad, unhappy,
687
00:36:46.440 --> 00:36:48.599
just all these things. It was like an ego dev
688
00:36:48.719 --> 00:36:51.519
because I mean, Greg, you know me, in the last
689
00:36:51.519 --> 00:36:53.840
few years I lived like a little fairy tale. I
690
00:36:53.920 --> 00:36:56.880
didn't have to stress or worry about much of anything.
691
00:36:57.079 --> 00:36:59.840
So this was such a reality check.
692
00:37:00.119 --> 00:37:02.440
And was the fairy tale life yours or was it
693
00:37:02.440 --> 00:37:04.039
an addendum to another life?
694
00:37:04.679 --> 00:37:06.039
It was not mine for sure?
695
00:37:06.079 --> 00:37:08.119
Fair enough what I learned, it was so much that
696
00:37:08.159 --> 00:37:11.079
I learned that I was like, Wow, this dream that
697
00:37:11.119 --> 00:37:14.360
people wish they had and always are like, oh my god,
698
00:37:14.400 --> 00:37:16.960
that would be the life, you know, is not the
699
00:37:17.079 --> 00:37:20.400
life or what truly makes people happy. So for me,
700
00:37:20.639 --> 00:37:25.039
losing everything has made me happier. I feel like I've
701
00:37:25.079 --> 00:37:28.679
come back to like me slowly throughout this entire year
702
00:37:28.760 --> 00:37:32.480
and have landed in like positions of work that I
703
00:37:32.559 --> 00:37:35.119
wanted to do and just didn't know how to get there.
704
00:37:35.159 --> 00:37:37.360
Even with you guys, all three of us working together,
705
00:37:37.440 --> 00:37:39.880
it's a whole thing that I'm like, this was all
706
00:37:39.960 --> 00:37:42.960
meant to happen, absolutely, So I just wanted to share
707
00:37:43.000 --> 00:37:45.079
that because I'm like, we're all changing, and like you said,
708
00:37:45.119 --> 00:37:48.280
this year, I feel like we all shifted hardcore, like
709
00:37:48.360 --> 00:37:51.239
something drastically happened and all absolutely.
710
00:37:51.119 --> 00:37:53.000
And I can't help with things that you know, It's
711
00:37:53.000 --> 00:37:55.400
happened for the three of us in big ways. I'm
712
00:37:55.440 --> 00:37:58.000
sure it's happening with others too, And that's why this
713
00:37:58.079 --> 00:38:00.920
is kind of why I wanted to focus this episode,
714
00:38:01.440 --> 00:38:03.920
to kind of make this a marker for all of
715
00:38:04.000 --> 00:38:06.360
us who are going through changes, because all of us
716
00:38:06.440 --> 00:38:10.039
need to kind of honor each other's change. And this
717
00:38:10.159 --> 00:38:12.880
might be a time of change for so many people
718
00:38:12.920 --> 00:38:16.599
and is and that you had pointed out the year
719
00:38:16.639 --> 00:38:19.159
of the snake, and of course the snake sheds its skin,
720
00:38:19.599 --> 00:38:21.840
and it's time for all of us to shed its skin.
721
00:38:22.119 --> 00:38:26.800
Harsally got four four weeks laggers. Yeah, four weeks. I
722
00:38:26.840 --> 00:38:29.719
did some lasers. I got four weeks in two days
723
00:38:29.760 --> 00:38:31.800
till the end of the year. And I was, as
724
00:38:31.840 --> 00:38:33.400
you know, I write every morning. You and I have
725
00:38:33.440 --> 00:38:36.360
talked about this, and this morning I was journaling that
726
00:38:36.440 --> 00:38:39.159
the coming year is the year of the horse. And
727
00:38:39.239 --> 00:38:42.440
what I wrote specifically in my journal today was that
728
00:38:42.599 --> 00:38:45.480
this year I did shed, I did get teed up
729
00:38:45.599 --> 00:38:50.000
lined up in alignment with what I want, and I
730
00:38:50.400 --> 00:38:52.880
pictured a horse. There's a song by we talked about
731
00:38:52.880 --> 00:38:54.639
this by you two call Who's going to ride your
732
00:38:54.639 --> 00:38:57.440
wild horses? And the opening line of that song is
733
00:38:57.440 --> 00:39:01.760
You're dangerous because you're honest. And it's a it's a
734
00:39:01.800 --> 00:39:05.079
really great song. It's a it's an older U two song.
735
00:39:05.760 --> 00:39:09.679
And I thought about horses and wild horses and how
736
00:39:09.679 --> 00:39:11.920
they run in the movie The Misfits, which was my
737
00:39:12.000 --> 00:39:16.079
dad's favorite film with Marilyn Monroe, Yes, Clark Gable well
738
00:39:16.320 --> 00:39:20.440
Arthur Miller film, Arthur Miller wrote play specifically for her.
739
00:39:20.800 --> 00:39:25.079
He wrote, Arthur Miller wrote the script amazing playwright in
740
00:39:25.159 --> 00:39:28.599
honor of Maryland to make her. It was perfect script
741
00:39:28.639 --> 00:39:33.760
for her. So Arthur Miller wrote the script and all
742
00:39:33.840 --> 00:39:37.079
three of them died within not a very long time
743
00:39:37.119 --> 00:39:40.079
after the movie when Governmy Cliff was an amazing actor.
744
00:39:40.840 --> 00:39:45.679
Clark Gable and Marilyn Monroe all died after making The Misfits.
745
00:39:46.079 --> 00:39:48.960
And I have it on DVD, I've had it on VHS.
746
00:39:49.599 --> 00:39:51.880
It was my father's favorite film, one of his favorite
747
00:39:52.599 --> 00:39:55.719
And the reason I'm saying that is because the movie
748
00:39:55.800 --> 00:40:01.519
centers on wild mustangs horses, And I thought about this.
749
00:40:01.760 --> 00:40:05.480
You know, horses are sexy. They're a sexy animal. When
750
00:40:05.480 --> 00:40:08.840
they run, they are tails. You know, they they don't
751
00:40:08.880 --> 00:40:10.679
have a lot of bone in their tail, but their
752
00:40:10.679 --> 00:40:13.639
tail goes up in there and it goes and especially
753
00:40:13.679 --> 00:40:17.199
Arabians and the way the man goes and their sinews
754
00:40:17.239 --> 00:40:20.159
and their muscles are very visible. And I thought, I'm
755
00:40:20.159 --> 00:40:23.519
going to embody that I'm going to run faster and harder,
756
00:40:23.800 --> 00:40:26.199
I'm going to sweat more, I'm going to build muscle,
757
00:40:26.239 --> 00:40:29.280
I'm going to be sexier, I'm going to be streamlined.
758
00:40:29.840 --> 00:40:34.719
And I thought about what the horse year was going
759
00:40:34.760 --> 00:40:38.960
to be in my life. And I'm very, very excited
760
00:40:39.000 --> 00:40:42.400
because it feels like we are all lining up from
761
00:40:42.519 --> 00:40:47.079
different places, yes, to land in the same spot, from
762
00:40:47.239 --> 00:40:48.400
very different locations.
763
00:40:48.400 --> 00:40:50.679
It's so interesting about the horse too, because to me,
764
00:40:50.719 --> 00:40:54.840
it's strength, power and movement. Absolutely like the horse can
765
00:40:54.920 --> 00:40:57.599
transport you, but the horse is also your friend. The
766
00:40:57.639 --> 00:40:59.159
horse is one with you.
767
00:40:59.440 --> 00:41:02.360
Yeah, I've I've ridden horses most of my life. And
768
00:41:02.960 --> 00:41:06.760
actually I watched those history shows on National Geographic and
769
00:41:06.840 --> 00:41:09.119
they talked about, you know, when man has had like
770
00:41:09.159 --> 00:41:12.360
the invention of fire, the invention of the wheel, that
771
00:41:12.599 --> 00:41:17.400
man domesticating and deciding to ride horses was one of
772
00:41:17.440 --> 00:41:22.960
those monumental moments in human history that changed everything because
773
00:41:23.039 --> 00:41:25.639
you could go so much faster, and you could pull things,
774
00:41:25.719 --> 00:41:29.159
and you could domesticating and riding the horse was a
775
00:41:29.280 --> 00:41:33.239
game changer in the development of human beings, and I
776
00:41:33.280 --> 00:41:35.480
think that this year should be seen as a game
777
00:41:35.599 --> 00:41:41.880
changer in our development. That the horse should represent that mobility,
778
00:41:41.679 --> 00:41:46.679
that picking up speed, that embracing everything that is is
779
00:41:46.840 --> 00:41:49.639
fast and sexy and sweaty and wonderful.
780
00:41:50.639 --> 00:41:53.880
So I wanted to talk about what we're doing together,
781
00:41:54.000 --> 00:41:58.760
money and what Brian is going to be intimately involved with.
782
00:41:58.960 --> 00:42:02.559
Of course, because people right now, I mean, we really
783
00:42:02.639 --> 00:42:06.639
are seeing that people are craving something different. People are
784
00:42:06.639 --> 00:42:11.599
feeling very overwhelmed. We've had such a negative environment coming
785
00:42:11.639 --> 00:42:14.679
from the very top, so much ugliness and so much
786
00:42:14.719 --> 00:42:18.840
division and hatred, and that's I wondered somehow if that
787
00:42:18.880 --> 00:42:22.400
would become the model for people in the universe, or
788
00:42:22.559 --> 00:42:25.320
at least in our country. What I'm seeing is that
789
00:42:25.360 --> 00:42:27.920
people are reacting to that in a very positive way.
790
00:42:27.960 --> 00:42:30.360
I mean, some people are joining right in, that's true,
791
00:42:30.880 --> 00:42:33.320
but a lot of people are going that's not what
792
00:42:33.360 --> 00:42:37.079
I want. I want some a more positive vision for things.
793
00:42:37.280 --> 00:42:40.920
Well, I can tell you on my show, yeah, you know,
794
00:42:41.079 --> 00:42:44.000
on whatever I've done on my own, whether it's stand
795
00:42:44.079 --> 00:42:46.920
up or going live every day at three thirty, that
796
00:42:47.079 --> 00:42:51.159
my fans compliment me, and this was even back in
797
00:42:51.159 --> 00:42:54.639
the KFI days. I have a thirty thousand foot view
798
00:42:54.679 --> 00:42:57.159
of the world. So when you say the ugliness coming
799
00:42:57.199 --> 00:42:59.559
from the top, that's not my top. My top is
800
00:43:00.440 --> 00:43:03.920
My top has nothing to do with anything earthly. And
801
00:43:04.000 --> 00:43:06.239
I tell people everything is an answer to a prayer.
802
00:43:06.280 --> 00:43:08.960
You just have to remember what you prayed. So for me,
803
00:43:10.119 --> 00:43:14.079
I believe that the divisiveness we're witnessing in our country,
804
00:43:14.119 --> 00:43:16.599
which to some degree is contagious, because we're a very
805
00:43:16.599 --> 00:43:19.079
important country and the way we go is the way
806
00:43:19.119 --> 00:43:21.199
a lot of the rest of the world goes. Whether
807
00:43:21.239 --> 00:43:24.840
we want that responsibility or not. We are role models
808
00:43:25.079 --> 00:43:28.880
in some ways for a democratic way of thinking. So
809
00:43:29.719 --> 00:43:34.320
what I see is that there is a time of
810
00:43:34.400 --> 00:43:39.039
revelation and then a time of reckoning, which is things
811
00:43:39.039 --> 00:43:40.360
are being revealed.
812
00:43:40.960 --> 00:43:41.199
You know.
813
00:43:41.400 --> 00:43:44.960
It's not that people are more divided, or more racist,
814
00:43:45.079 --> 00:43:47.960
or more sexist, or more homophobia. They're not more anything.
815
00:43:48.599 --> 00:43:53.760
They're were there. We are just entering into a time where, evidently,
816
00:43:53.800 --> 00:44:00.639
as a species, we prayed to let these ills be revealed. Clearly,
817
00:44:00.920 --> 00:44:03.840
I've been alive long enough to see, you know, several
818
00:44:04.280 --> 00:44:09.639
women's movements, several blms, several and I feel like now
819
00:44:09.960 --> 00:44:14.960
because of the revelation, the reckonings are actually happening, that
820
00:44:15.039 --> 00:44:18.400
things are getting no pun intended over the wall, like
821
00:44:18.800 --> 00:44:21.519
we almost made it on a couple of occasions. But
822
00:44:21.719 --> 00:44:25.760
now you know, we can't go back. You know, you
823
00:44:25.800 --> 00:44:29.079
can't have an old world paradigm in new think with
824
00:44:29.239 --> 00:44:32.280
social media, you know, even with and again I'm not
825
00:44:32.320 --> 00:44:38.199
a political person, I guarantee you I cash money that
826
00:44:38.360 --> 00:44:42.199
Putin did not think that three plus years later the
827
00:44:42.320 --> 00:44:45.559
Ukraine would still be holding its middle finger up to that.
828
00:44:46.440 --> 00:44:48.079
It's not even possible. Yeah.
829
00:44:48.159 --> 00:44:48.199
No.
830
00:44:48.440 --> 00:44:51.159
I when I was a little girl in the sixties
831
00:44:52.000 --> 00:44:54.960
when Vietnam was raging, there was a poster that a
832
00:44:55.000 --> 00:44:58.039
lot of hippies had in regular and black light, which
833
00:44:58.159 --> 00:45:01.039
was Defiance, and it was the picture of giant eagle
834
00:45:01.519 --> 00:45:04.320
coming down on a little mouse and the mouse had
835
00:45:04.360 --> 00:45:07.079
his middle finger up m and it was I know,
836
00:45:07.119 --> 00:45:08.559
it had to do with people that didn't want to
837
00:45:08.599 --> 00:45:12.119
go to war. It had multiple meanings and the fact
838
00:45:12.159 --> 00:45:14.559
that it was an eagle, you know whatever. But I
839
00:45:14.599 --> 00:45:19.000
remember seeing that poster as a child and thinking that
840
00:45:19.199 --> 00:45:21.079
that mouse has got it going on, you know what
841
00:45:21.159 --> 00:45:26.159
I mean. And I feel like that's what's going on
842
00:45:26.320 --> 00:45:29.280
now on a scale in the world is that people
843
00:45:29.360 --> 00:45:31.880
are just like, this is wrong. I don't care how
844
00:45:31.920 --> 00:45:34.039
big you are, I don't care how strong you are.
845
00:45:34.679 --> 00:45:38.199
This is wrong. What you're doing is not good for
846
00:45:38.320 --> 00:45:44.039
people's you know. So I'm gonna with my own voice,
847
00:45:44.119 --> 00:45:47.639
with my own middle finger, with my own social media account,
848
00:45:47.679 --> 00:45:52.239
with my own podcast. We have, like never before in history,
849
00:45:52.599 --> 00:46:03.239
the opportunity to elevate, educate, uplift, reveal, reckon with the
850
00:46:04.119 --> 00:46:08.559
possibilities for positivity are endless. And that's where I put
851
00:46:08.599 --> 00:46:12.800
my attention. So that's what I see.
852
00:46:11.880 --> 00:46:15.880
Good because I think that's the this is the time
853
00:46:15.920 --> 00:46:18.039
we've got to reckon with things and we've got to
854
00:46:18.079 --> 00:46:21.679
move forward, absolutely, and that's what we're all doing. And
855
00:46:21.719 --> 00:46:24.039
I feel like that's where Friends with Privileges, if I
856
00:46:24.039 --> 00:46:27.159
had to just say where that fits in, it's because
857
00:46:27.480 --> 00:46:30.000
of all of this, because we do need to pivot
858
00:46:30.039 --> 00:46:33.239
and move forward. And Friends with Privileges, which is really
859
00:46:33.559 --> 00:46:36.039
your brain child, they it's ours.
860
00:46:36.119 --> 00:46:38.400
We ate a lot of breakfasts a great wice together.
861
00:46:38.639 --> 00:46:39.159
Ours ours.
862
00:46:39.239 --> 00:46:41.119
Yeah, well, I mean at least you know, out of
863
00:46:41.159 --> 00:46:45.119
halluomi cheese. But I but I thought this was a
864
00:46:45.199 --> 00:46:52.679
brilliant idea and because of your humor, insight, brains, experience everything,
865
00:46:53.079 --> 00:46:55.840
I feel like it's it's such a great place and
866
00:46:55.880 --> 00:46:56.880
you're and you're.
867
00:46:56.679 --> 00:46:59.199
The I always say you're the hard word of my software,
868
00:46:59.239 --> 00:47:04.679
because you are very aware of current events. You are
869
00:47:04.880 --> 00:47:10.320
very aware of day to day studies and life and relationships,
870
00:47:10.360 --> 00:47:14.719
and you are boots on the ground. So Friends with
871
00:47:14.800 --> 00:47:18.880
Privileges would just be a variation of my KFI show,
872
00:47:19.239 --> 00:47:21.559
which was fine. But I don't want to do fine,
873
00:47:21.599 --> 00:47:23.119
and I don't want to do what I've done. I
874
00:47:23.159 --> 00:47:25.519
want to go next level. And I feel like we
875
00:47:25.599 --> 00:47:28.400
are very ying and yang that way that you are
876
00:47:28.519 --> 00:47:32.079
a calming voice, but you also have a fire in
877
00:47:32.119 --> 00:47:37.320
you about justice and social justice and society and civility.
878
00:47:37.840 --> 00:47:40.760
You have that in you, which that's one of the
879
00:47:40.840 --> 00:47:48.039
parts I'm missing. And you care about people's day to
880
00:47:48.159 --> 00:47:51.800
day nuts and bolts, tool chests and skill sets.
881
00:47:52.400 --> 00:47:55.880
I do. I want everyone to have a better life, everyone,
882
00:47:56.559 --> 00:47:59.239
no matter who they are, and I believe if the
883
00:47:59.320 --> 00:48:02.960
people have better lives in general, and it's not just
884
00:48:03.079 --> 00:48:05.960
I'm trying to place all the responsibility on them. I'm
885
00:48:06.000 --> 00:48:08.639
not trying to say you need to fix your life
886
00:48:08.679 --> 00:48:11.480
in order to get better, pull yourself up by your bootstraps.
887
00:48:11.719 --> 00:48:14.639
But rather what I would say, Yeah, what I would
888
00:48:14.719 --> 00:48:17.000
rather say is here are some tools or here's some
889
00:48:17.239 --> 00:48:20.280
help that I can do. But that isn't the only
890
00:48:20.360 --> 00:48:22.480
thing I believe in. Yes, I believe that we as
891
00:48:22.519 --> 00:48:25.639
a society need to move forward. We can only do
892
00:48:25.800 --> 00:48:28.079
so much at a time. I can't give a two
893
00:48:28.159 --> 00:48:32.119
word explanation to make everyone's problems go away. All I
894
00:48:32.159 --> 00:48:34.559
can do is help move the needle my own five
895
00:48:34.639 --> 00:48:38.280
percent solution. As long as we continually move five percent
896
00:48:38.480 --> 00:48:42.719
five percent in a positive directionsolutely change everything.
897
00:48:42.920 --> 00:48:43.360
Agreed.
898
00:48:44.679 --> 00:48:47.440
So I you know, we just have a few more minutes.
899
00:48:47.480 --> 00:48:49.960
But I just wanted to say about friends with privileges,
900
00:48:50.639 --> 00:48:56.000
our chemistry, the cultural relevance, and really I think this
901
00:48:56.159 --> 00:48:58.800
is the time. So we're going to be doing more shows,
902
00:48:59.280 --> 00:49:03.199
more frequently, absolutely demoting them. Brian is going to be
903
00:49:03.920 --> 00:49:08.119
producing coursing on them, and hopefully we're going to start
904
00:49:08.159 --> 00:49:11.039
to be adding in listener interaction.
905
00:49:11.119 --> 00:49:14.360
We're gonna we're gonna treat it like a like a
906
00:49:14.400 --> 00:49:19.000
real show like Greenie, you know interaction that I'm I'm
907
00:49:19.039 --> 00:49:22.239
not one of those throw enough and see what sticks persons.
908
00:49:22.440 --> 00:49:25.280
I create things in the invisible and get them exactly
909
00:49:25.320 --> 00:49:27.119
the way I want them, and then I pull them
910
00:49:27.119 --> 00:49:31.039
down to the visible. So I play the long game.
911
00:49:31.559 --> 00:49:33.960
We've been friends for a year and a half. We've
912
00:49:34.000 --> 00:49:37.719
been getting to know each other, and we've we've really
913
00:49:37.880 --> 00:49:44.639
gotten to know each other's psychology, families, straints, weaknesses, destinies, hope,
914
00:49:44.760 --> 00:49:47.800
dreams and go ahead.
915
00:49:47.559 --> 00:49:50.760
No, you know my darkest stuff. I mean, I've actually
916
00:49:51.679 --> 00:49:56.320
called you during some pretty dark times. Some it's very difficult.
917
00:49:56.400 --> 00:49:58.360
I could bring up tears right now just thinking of
918
00:49:58.400 --> 00:50:01.320
those moments. So I thank you for well, of course.
919
00:50:01.360 --> 00:50:04.440
But that's the point, because when you said, I don't
920
00:50:04.519 --> 00:50:08.079
have a two word answer to fix the world's ills,
921
00:50:08.400 --> 00:50:11.960
so the reality is I do, and here it is
922
00:50:12.320 --> 00:50:12.960
just love.
923
00:50:13.280 --> 00:50:16.360
Yeah, okay, because that I can sign on to yeh,
924
00:50:16.400 --> 00:50:17.960
Because I looked up.
925
00:50:17.840 --> 00:50:20.440
The word just, and there's a million definitions to just,
926
00:50:21.320 --> 00:50:23.920
but one of them is simply and exclusively of time,
927
00:50:24.039 --> 00:50:26.719
meaning it stands on its own the word just, which
928
00:50:26.760 --> 00:50:30.320
is obviously part of justice or just being fair, but
929
00:50:31.400 --> 00:50:34.880
you know, with no attachment or agenda, just simply and
930
00:50:34.960 --> 00:50:39.639
exclusively of time. If you can embrace your circumstance, whether
931
00:50:39.679 --> 00:50:44.800
it's cardlessness, homelessness, and say, this is where I've begun.
932
00:50:46.079 --> 00:50:48.559
I've got that going for me. I know what homelessness
933
00:50:48.559 --> 00:50:50.639
feels like. I know I don't like it. I know
934
00:50:50.760 --> 00:50:53.599
I want to change it. I'm better off than people
935
00:50:53.639 --> 00:50:57.239
that are not aware that they don't love being homeless.
936
00:50:57.239 --> 00:50:59.599
And I can say this because when I was on
937
00:50:59.639 --> 00:51:02.639
the radio in San Diego, I had two homeless guys
938
00:51:03.320 --> 00:51:06.559
that lived at the cruise ship terminal and they used
939
00:51:06.559 --> 00:51:09.920
to listen to me on a transistor radio with they
940
00:51:10.079 --> 00:51:12.760
and they would ask people they wanted clean blankets and batteries,
941
00:51:12.760 --> 00:51:15.000
and they listened to the Monique and the Man Show
942
00:51:15.079 --> 00:51:18.119
and they would call in from the payphone across from
943
00:51:18.119 --> 00:51:21.519
the Holiday Inn in San Diego. This was, you know,
944
00:51:22.199 --> 00:51:26.719
almost twenty years ago at this point. But we regularly
945
00:51:26.800 --> 00:51:30.960
interacted with two homeless guys, and rather than make assumptions
946
00:51:30.960 --> 00:51:34.800
about their lives, we would ask them. We would ask them.
947
00:51:34.840 --> 00:51:40.039
We would say like, you know, why, what, how? And
948
00:51:40.320 --> 00:51:45.239
explain your circumstance, because when you say the homeless, you've
949
00:51:45.280 --> 00:51:50.679
now objectified millions of people, as opposed to that guy
950
00:51:51.519 --> 00:51:55.239
that calls me. So the reason I'm saying that is
951
00:51:55.280 --> 00:51:58.960
because whoever you are, wherever you are, if you're within
952
00:51:59.000 --> 00:52:01.360
the sound of my voice, if you can find one
953
00:52:01.400 --> 00:52:04.360
thing in your life to love, even if it's just
954
00:52:04.400 --> 00:52:06.760
you're on the right side of the dirt. You're on
955
00:52:06.800 --> 00:52:09.400
the right side of the dirt, and you can start fresh.
956
00:52:09.599 --> 00:52:12.320
You laughed yesterday, because when I look at my watch,
957
00:52:12.880 --> 00:52:16.800
if it's nine twenty three, I go like this. Every
958
00:52:16.800 --> 00:52:20.519
time I chap twice, I snap twice because I reinvent myself.
959
00:52:20.639 --> 00:52:24.360
My birthday September twenty third, and I remind myself, and
960
00:52:24.400 --> 00:52:26.320
I'm glad it's nine twenty three because I get to
961
00:52:26.320 --> 00:52:28.320
see it twice a day, as opposed to some people's
962
00:52:28.320 --> 00:52:30.719
birthday would be like one p fifteen, so they get
963
00:52:30.719 --> 00:52:32.039
to see it in the afternoon, but maybe not in
964
00:52:32.039 --> 00:52:34.079
the middle of the night. But whenever I see nine
965
00:52:34.159 --> 00:52:39.159
twenty three, I go let go of something. I make myself,
966
00:52:39.239 --> 00:52:42.159
Let go of a thought or a worry or something
967
00:52:42.199 --> 00:52:46.159
that I'm dragging. Reinvent yourself, let go of that. And
968
00:52:46.199 --> 00:52:50.800
I think that anybody in any circumstance can start to
969
00:52:50.880 --> 00:52:54.199
lift slowly if they can find one thing they love,
970
00:52:54.400 --> 00:52:56.039
even if it's just that they're still here.
971
00:52:58.079 --> 00:53:05.159
Well, thank you, Monique, and this has been incredible. I
972
00:53:05.199 --> 00:53:06.960
could talk to you for hours, but I will.
973
00:53:07.199 --> 00:53:09.280
We're going to We're going that's what the show is
974
00:53:09.320 --> 00:53:11.880
going to be. That's exactly what the show will be
975
00:53:11.880 --> 00:53:15.599
because we you and I love each other. So in
976
00:53:15.639 --> 00:53:18.719
real time, we're going to show people what a friendship is,
977
00:53:18.880 --> 00:53:22.679
what a collaboration is, what inclusiveness is, what is bringing
978
00:53:22.719 --> 00:53:26.400
other people into your vision? You know, as you know,
979
00:53:26.480 --> 00:53:29.119
I have Katie who I work with like you work with, Brian.
980
00:53:29.199 --> 00:53:31.840
I gave her the title brand manager. She doesn't even
981
00:53:31.840 --> 00:53:33.599
know what that is yet. Neither one of us does,
982
00:53:33.599 --> 00:53:35.679
but we're going to figure it out together in real time.
983
00:53:36.079 --> 00:53:38.079
I'll have to figure out a better title for you, Brian,
984
00:53:38.960 --> 00:53:43.880
but we will. Yeah. I really thank you. Thank you
985
00:53:43.920 --> 00:53:46.880
for being our most frequent guest. Thank you for being
986
00:53:46.960 --> 00:53:50.920
who you are, and thank you for the vision that
987
00:53:51.000 --> 00:53:54.880
you share with me that you're helping us to move
988
00:53:55.000 --> 00:53:59.079
forward with friends with privileges. Brian, I want to thank
989
00:53:59.119 --> 00:54:02.400
you for the last one hundred episodes. Yes, I mean,
990
00:54:02.559 --> 00:54:07.760
oh my god, you were there from inception and you've
991
00:54:07.800 --> 00:54:12.840
done incredible work and it's been a long journey and
992
00:54:13.000 --> 00:54:16.519
we've you know, we had so many ups and downs
993
00:54:16.519 --> 00:54:21.119
and mishaps and technical issues and problems along the way
994
00:54:21.199 --> 00:54:23.960
that I'm sure we will too. Oh yeah, well that's
995
00:54:24.039 --> 00:54:24.599
just the dem.
996
00:54:24.639 --> 00:54:27.800
Looks forward to them. They'll be funny, well blooper reel.
997
00:54:27.880 --> 00:54:30.679
And also, Tony Sweet out there in the in Neverland
998
00:54:31.599 --> 00:54:34.039
on the board, thank you so much for all that
999
00:54:34.119 --> 00:54:36.440
you've done. You've really been there and I could not
1000
00:54:36.599 --> 00:54:39.360
have done this without you. As you know, when I
1001
00:54:39.519 --> 00:54:44.039
called Tony Sweet or when we were talking first, I'm like,
1002
00:54:44.159 --> 00:54:49.079
I cannot do this without someone like him, and he was.
1003
00:54:49.440 --> 00:54:52.760
He was incredible from moment one great. So you know,
1004
00:54:52.840 --> 00:54:55.159
I wanted to say thank you for all of that.
1005
00:54:55.760 --> 00:54:59.840
I'm incredibly grateful for all of it. And I don't
1006
00:55:00.079 --> 00:55:03.280
know that I think this was a very important thing
1007
00:55:03.320 --> 00:55:05.400
that we've done, and we're going to retool it and
1008
00:55:05.440 --> 00:55:09.760
make it even better and sleeker, faster, stronger. We're gonna
1009
00:55:09.760 --> 00:55:12.000
make it like a six million dollar man. But yes,
1010
00:55:12.079 --> 00:55:17.360
into a horse. So we're gonna remember the bionic dog.
1011
00:55:17.559 --> 00:55:19.480
I don't know why was that only one season long?
1012
00:55:19.559 --> 00:55:21.639
That should have just a bionic dog. Yeah, they should
1013
00:55:21.679 --> 00:55:23.800
have made it a horse. Yeah, there you go, more seasons.
1014
00:55:23.920 --> 00:55:26.960
But thank you so much. Thank you for joining us
1015
00:55:27.000 --> 00:55:29.320
on off the couch. If you saw yourself in any
1016
00:55:29.320 --> 00:55:32.400
of today's patterns, take a breath. You're not broken, You're
1017
00:55:32.639 --> 00:55:36.280
just human, and inside is the first step at actions.
1018
00:55:36.320 --> 00:55:39.239
What moved the needle moves the needle. Remember we're all
1019
00:55:39.280 --> 00:55:43.440
in our reinvention era right now. Oh yeah, so embrace it.
1020
00:55:43.440 --> 00:55:46.639
It may not be easy. It certainly hasn't been easy
1021
00:55:46.679 --> 00:55:49.480
for me. I know it hasn't been easy for you Money,
1022
00:55:49.840 --> 00:55:52.159
but it's rewarding. And I know it hasn't been easy
1023
00:55:52.199 --> 00:55:55.679
for Brian. We've all been forced to deal with some
1024
00:55:55.800 --> 00:55:59.480
things this year that none of us would have liked otherwise,
1025
00:55:59.559 --> 00:56:01.719
but we yes, we had to just face them and
1026
00:56:02.280 --> 00:56:05.679
we're going to take and move forward. But remember we
1027
00:56:05.800 --> 00:56:08.400
do this with social support. We do this with friends
1028
00:56:08.599 --> 00:56:12.119
like you, friends like you, Brian, And I was saying,
1029
00:56:12.119 --> 00:56:15.280
friends like you, Monique. And that's why I think that
1030
00:56:15.440 --> 00:56:19.039
the name friends with Privileges really has a special meaning.
1031
00:56:19.480 --> 00:56:21.920
That we're going to all be friends together, not all
1032
00:56:21.960 --> 00:56:25.360
aim us, but also not only the people in this room,
1033
00:56:25.360 --> 00:56:28.119
but the people on air. That everyone is going to
1034
00:56:28.159 --> 00:56:31.400
be able to share in that experience. So if you've
1035
00:56:31.599 --> 00:56:35.320
enjoyed this episode. Please share it with a friend. I
1036
00:56:35.400 --> 00:56:38.239
made a handout called Reinventing Yourself. I don't know if
1037
00:56:38.280 --> 00:56:40.119
I actually called it back, but that's what it is.
1038
00:56:40.840 --> 00:56:43.199
It's a handout that if you want to sit at
1039
00:56:43.239 --> 00:56:46.039
home and really look at how you can reinvent yourself.
1040
00:56:46.239 --> 00:56:48.639
It has a ton of questions on it. It'll take
1041
00:56:48.679 --> 00:56:51.480
maybe about twenty minutes to do, but it just helps
1042
00:56:51.519 --> 00:56:53.760
you to do a self inventory of yourself.
1043
00:56:53.800 --> 00:56:54.920
I'm going to do it all right.
1044
00:56:55.400 --> 00:56:58.440
It's on our YouTube. I'll give you a copy. It's
1045
00:56:58.480 --> 00:57:02.719
on our YouTube dot com forward slash Doctor Greg's go
1046
00:57:02.800 --> 00:57:05.320
to that YouTube dot com forward slash Doctor Greg. Look
1047
00:57:05.320 --> 00:57:08.119
in the show notes for this show and then it'll
1048
00:57:08.159 --> 00:57:10.119
say hand out. You can click on it and it
1049
00:57:10.159 --> 00:57:13.960
will give you the handout. Don't forget to rate, review
1050
00:57:14.440 --> 00:57:16.920
and follow us off the couch with Doctor Greg on Apple,
1051
00:57:16.960 --> 00:57:21.760
Spotify or wherever you listen. And until next time, I
1052
00:57:21.800 --> 00:57:26.400
want to say for all of us, be present, be flexible,
1053
00:57:26.679 --> 00:57:27.480
and be kind.