Red Flags & Regret

WEBVTT
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Welcome to Mum's Gone Wild, the show where Reddit meets Real Talk and Chaos meets comedy.
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I'm Chloe and I'm Paula.
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Every week we'll dive into Reddit's wildest posts and juiciest write-ins.
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Warning, the advice you're about to hear is completely unsolicited, mildly unhinged, and definitely not professional.
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But hey, we're not therapists, but that's never stopped us from giving our opinions anyway.
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So let's get unhinged.
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Before we dive in, just a quick heads up.
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The stories we chat about on Mum's Gone Wild are from public posts on Reddit and they belong to their original authors.
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We're just here to share, laugh, and give our take for entertainment and discussion, all under fair use.
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We also do our best to remove names or details to keep things private.
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If you're the original poster and you would like your story removed or credited differently, just get in touch with us.
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We'll happily sort it.
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How are you going today, Mum?
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I'm not too bad.
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I've had a nice cruisy morning.
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I am on holidays, so that allows me to be cruisy.
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I've done a bit of shopping, ducked in and out of the rain.
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We've had a rainy day today in Jerry, which is great.
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But had a good morning.
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What about you?
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Yeah, no, it's a really chill morning, just cleaning the house, pottering around.
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I've got cupboards now in my laundry, that's exciting.
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I love storage.
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And yeah, just sitting here at the kitchen table watching the weather outside.
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It's nice and sunny.
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It's so wintry today.
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Yesterday was sunny.
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Today's very time of the year where the weather doesn't know what it's doing.
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It's whether one day it's winter, the next day it's summer, and you just yeah.
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Anyway, it's a nice day to be recording a podcast.
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Yes, can't think of anything better.
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Shall we get into it today?
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Sure.
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Who wants to?
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Oh, today's theme, I should say, is relationships and relationship advice.
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Okay.
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So, mum, how long have you been married for?
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Oh my goodness, we've been married now for 35 years.
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35 years.
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Okay, wow.
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So you've had you've got some good advice to give on going to the long term.
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I do have good advice, but when you've only been, you know, like you've been with one person for that long.
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Yeah, when did you you were 16, weren't you?
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Yeah, I was 16 when I met your dad.
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Yeah, wow.
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He stole my youth.
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He stole your youth.
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Oh, that's funny.
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And I I did meet him at the pub at 16, and I lied to him and told him that I was 18 at the pub, and it wasn't until about six months later he asked me how come I didn't drive a car and I personally have my license.
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I'm not old enough to drive.
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That's it.
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He was a goner.
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Yeah, and I've been with my partner for 12 years.
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Crazy.
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So that's a long time.
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I was 19 when I met him.
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Crazy.
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Well, Gate crushed his housewarming party and I never left.
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So we got married when I was 19.
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We got engaged on my 18th birthday, and I was married by 19.
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Gosh, I was so young.
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Can you imagine if a 19-year-old got married now?
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You kind of would be like, ooh, I want to slap her silly.
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Yeah.
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Nah, not really.
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Yeah, I mean, we were together for a few years beforehand.
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We didn't jump into it.
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Yeah, true.
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Early.
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Well, my baby.
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Early.
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Yeah, okay.
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So I reckon let's jump into some of the stories.
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Okay, did you want to hear the ones I've got first?
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And then I'll listen to yours and we can decide which one we want to hear first.
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Yeah, sure.
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Sure.
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Okay.
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So my one is the first one is my 22-year-old female birth control was tampered with by my boyfriend, 22 male.
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I'm pregnant and I don't know what to do.
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Oh that is another E.
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I know.
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22.
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That's so young.
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Okay, and my other one is my 24 female husband, 26 male, left me, passed out on the floor while sick, then got mad at me the next morning.
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I see him differently now.
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Of course you would.
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Oh gosh.
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Okay.
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So two very different ones, but I think we can get our teeth into those two.
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100%.
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And mine.
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Okay, and mine today are my fiance wants his father to check my hymen tomorrow night before I get married.
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No, I thought you'd have that reaction.
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No one should be checking anything there.
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Not your father-in-law.
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All right.
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No, no, no.
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Do you know what?
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Not even your fiance.
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Like, hey honey, can you have a little check?
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The next one is I, 29 male, am still in love with my ex almost 10 years ago.
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She's 27 female.
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How do I win her back?
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I don't know if that's gonna end well for that person.
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How long has it been?
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Read it again.
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It was 10 years ago.
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And he's still in love with her?
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Still in love.
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One that got away.
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Oh, okay.
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I can't wait to hear that one.
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Yeah.
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All right.
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Shall we do the one for one again?
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Sure.
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Let us know, guys, if you like the one for one or if you want mum to read out her two and then I read out two.
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Whether yeah.
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Anyway.
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We need a coin.
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We'll flip a coin.
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Heads, you can't.
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Yeah, let's do this.
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That's all right.
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Okay, so your heads, I'm tails.
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All right, are you ready?
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Alright, what is it?
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Heads.
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Okay, I'm heads.
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So I'm going first.
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Yeah.
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Alright, I'm just gonna read in order.
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So let's start off with actually let's start in light.
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Yeah, I reckon.
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Not the 10-year one.
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Yeah, the 10-year one.
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We'll start in light.
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I've don't I don't want to shock everyone.
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I haven't even had a coffee yet this morning.
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Let's not go hymen just yet.
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Okay.
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I, 29 male, am still in love with my ex from almost 10 years ago, 27 female.
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How do I win her back?
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Years ago, I fell in love with a woman for the first time.
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She was truly amazing.
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I was young and dumb, so I messed up by cheating on her.
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Obviously, we broke up and then I started to date the girl I cheated on her with.
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We ended up even getting engaged.
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Unfortunately, that relationship also didn't work out.
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And we broke off the engagement and the relationship.
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Throughout relationship and that engagement, I thought about my ex very often.
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I'm not proud of it, but I'd even reached out to her and lied to her about being single.
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Strike two, buddy.
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Yeah.
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So that I could just talk to her.
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She did find out that I'd lied about being single.
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Yeah.
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Okay.
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I've been single now for a number of years.
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She has also been.
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After me, she dated another man, but he also did not treat her very kindly.
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Since then, she's been single and said that she's happy single because men have traumatized her.
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It's been about six years now since she has been single.
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She has no interest in dating men anymore.
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She's only 27, too.
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Actually, I wrote that down my notes.
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How old is she?
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27.
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27, yeah.
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We are now friends.
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I still am in love with her.
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And I have told her this multiple times.
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Sorry, for the dog in the background.
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But she continues.
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Hunt ha trying to read here.
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He's a 70 kilo dog.
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He just I'm just gonna close the door so I can finish.
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Join in on the podcast to join in the podcast too.
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He's got his say.
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Alright.
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He's trying to say this man's got too many red flags.
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Fantastic, darling.
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Okay.
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We are now friends.
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I'm still in love with her, and I've told her this multiple times, but she continues to reject my advances and feelings.
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Do any of you have any stories about winning over the one girl that got away?
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And how can I win her back?
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How old I mean 29.
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So okay, let's forgive him.
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This was 10 years prior that they were together, correct?
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Yeah.
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So he's 19, he was a baby back then.
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I'm gonna cut him some slack.
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Like when I was first listening to that, I was thinking red flag.
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Don't lie.
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I don't know.
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I am somewhat forgiving over his age that he was only 19 when this all happened.
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But do you he's still in love with her?
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Yeah.
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Do we have any advice on how we could win her back?
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I was thinking that too.
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This is a different type of podcast than Am I the Asshole?
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Yes.
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One.
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So he's after actual advice.
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Yes.
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I personally want to tell the check to one one one.
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She's not interested.
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It's been six years, she's happy being single.
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And they're friends.
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He's got her, he's got her in his life.
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Yeah.
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And I think he needs to maybe do some counselling to get through.
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I don't know, or talk to some friends.
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Or be happy with just the friendship.
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Yeah.
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Okay, so I would probably to give to him would be pull off the band-aid, just tell her.
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Well, he has.
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He told her this multiple times that he's in love with her and she rejects his advances and feelings.
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Okay, well, that's your answer, mate.
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Yeah.
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Just go.
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You can't win someone back.
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You can't be friends with her and just only friends, which clearly you're not going to be able to.
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And like she said, she's traumatized from men.
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She actually may want comfort in just a male friendship.
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Or even just off men altogether because they lie and they cheat.
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Not all men, of course.
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This is just this young fella that we're talking about who has already stated that he lied to her about being in a relationship and being engaged.
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So like she's just clearly not.
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He hurt her twice.
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Yeah.
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Or not he he cheated on her when she was 19, and then wanted to talk out and was then like kind of reaching out when he was already engaged with somebody else, and that's you know, then going behind her back.
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So he's really having a pattern of behavior, but she's still happy to have him as a friend.
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So you know, I just I don't think he can really he needs to be happy with that or yeah.
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Anyway, top comment this is actually only fresh too, so it was only posted five hours ago.
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Okay, yeah.
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So top comment is you broke up with her because you were dishonest, and then you messed up reconnecting with her again because you continued to be dishonest.
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You don't win her back, dude.
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Leave her alone.
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The ship has sailed when she is happy.
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When she says she's happy she's single because men have traumatized her, that's you.
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You are literally the man in this scenario.
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You have aided her traumatiz in men.
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That's had 17 upvotes already.
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Although I did cut him some slack for only being 19, she too was young, and those impressionable young relationship brain pathways were damaged.
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And they were damaged by him.
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She was 17.
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Baby, yeah.
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No wonder.
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And following that, her partner was not very nice.
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So, yeah, he needs to just leave her alone.
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Yeah, and then the next comment says, Of course, she keeps rejecting you.
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You've proven multiple times that you are a liar and a cheat.
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And then it just kind of filters on.
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Everyone's on saying, let her go, my dude, there's no winning her back.
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You cheated on her, then you lied about being engaged.
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You got back in touch with her, but she has no interest in dating.
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I'm amazed she's still willing to be friends with you, given that you cheated on her and lied to her.
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Be grateful for that and don't harass her for anything else.
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Yeah.
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I think someone in one of the comments said it the ship sailed.
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Yeah.
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That's it.
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Sorry, mate.
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Leave her alone.
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Yes, you've done enough damage to that poor girl.
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All right.
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Moving on, Mum, you're up.
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I am okay.
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Let me get myself sorted here.
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Alrighty.
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So I'm gonna go with the one that's already up on my computer.
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My birth control was tampered by my boyfriend.
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I'm pregnant and I don't know what to do.
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Both uh female and male are 22 years of age.
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Yeah, okay.
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That's so young.
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It is, but oh, how long ago was this one done?
00:13:08.399 --> 00:13:10.240
Oh, 25 days old?
00:13:10.559 --> 00:13:11.759
Okay, so still within.
00:13:12.000 --> 00:13:12.399
Yeah.
00:13:12.720 --> 00:13:18.240
Still within I had your mum by the time I was 22.
00:13:18.799 --> 00:13:19.120
Okay.
00:13:19.600 --> 00:13:21.200
My boy, I did all that one.
00:13:21.279 --> 00:13:22.720
So we've been together three years.
00:13:22.879 --> 00:13:30.639
We are high, we were high school friends, we grew apart and ended up going to the same college, similar majors, reconnected, you can guess the rest.
00:13:30.879 --> 00:13:39.759
We've been on the rocks lately, our lifestyles don't align very well, and sometimes he treats me more like a mother than a partner, and I'm losing my patience.
00:13:40.080 --> 00:13:43.840
He is an only child and kind of a massive mumma's boy.
00:13:44.159 --> 00:13:45.840
Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
00:13:46.080 --> 00:13:49.440
His mum is nice enough, just very traditional.
00:13:49.679 --> 00:13:53.840
Until recently, I don't feel like I've had a reason to distrust her.
00:13:54.080 --> 00:13:59.039
He confides in her a lot about a relationship, sometimes an uncomfortable amount.
00:13:59.279 --> 00:14:05.600
For the past couple of months, I feel like she's been trying to plant seeds in my head about having kids when I'm alone with her.
00:14:05.759 --> 00:14:10.000
Some examples are the joy of motherhood is like nothing else.
00:14:10.240 --> 00:14:12.159
You'll understand someday.
00:14:12.720 --> 00:14:14.320
I know it's hard right now.
00:14:14.559 --> 00:14:17.120
You know, a baby might bring you closer.
00:14:17.440 --> 00:14:21.600
My husband and I fought constantly until we finally had a baby.
00:14:21.759 --> 00:14:24.639
Once you've had a baby, everything else will fall away.
00:14:24.799 --> 00:14:26.879
They're little miracle workers.
00:14:27.120 --> 00:14:28.879
Fatherhood changes people.
00:14:29.120 --> 00:14:32.879
I think let's make a shall we make our boyfriend's name?
00:14:33.519 --> 00:14:34.240
Oh, just boyfriend.
00:14:34.480 --> 00:14:36.639
What is she oh, she just calling him boyfriend?
00:14:36.799 --> 00:14:37.120
Yeah.
00:14:37.440 --> 00:14:37.679
Yeah.
00:14:38.159 --> 00:14:40.000
Just needs to experience it.
00:14:40.240 --> 00:14:45.679
That last one in regards to his irresponsibility and lack of accountability for housework.
00:14:46.000 --> 00:14:46.720
Ah, hang on.
00:14:46.799 --> 00:14:47.919
Did that make sense then?
00:14:48.080 --> 00:14:49.919
You know, fatherhood changes people.
00:14:50.240 --> 00:14:53.679
I think boyfriend's name just needs to experience it.
00:14:54.159 --> 00:14:57.279
Sounds like he's a bit of a, like she said, mama's boy.
00:14:57.440 --> 00:14:57.840
Yeah.
00:14:58.159 --> 00:15:08.000
Okay, I'm on the pill and I've been trying to get on a different form of birth control that doesn't require constant effort, like IUD injections or arm implant.
00:15:08.159 --> 00:15:10.960
But I've been unable to decide which one's right for me.
00:15:11.120 --> 00:15:13.600
My birth control comes in a blister pack.
00:15:13.679 --> 00:15:20.799
I usually pop a week's worth into a pill organiser so I could just take it with me at the same time as my other medications.
00:15:20.960 --> 00:15:25.519
I don't bother taking the sugar pills you're supposed to take during the week of your period.
00:15:25.759 --> 00:15:33.120
I keep the anti-blister packs in with the leftover sugar pills in my night stamp because I'm weird about throwing things away sometimes.
00:15:33.360 --> 00:15:35.039
What if I need a later mentality?
00:15:35.120 --> 00:15:38.159
I picked up from growing up in a doomsday prepping household.
00:15:38.320 --> 00:15:39.360
Thanks, Dad.
00:15:39.679 --> 00:15:41.919
I feel incredibly stupid now.
00:15:42.240 --> 00:15:44.559
A couple of weeks ago, I missed my period.
00:15:44.720 --> 00:15:49.919
I took a pregnancy test and saw the dreaded second line and proceeded to freak out.
00:15:53.919 --> 00:15:55.759
You have something that you want to tell me.
00:15:56.000 --> 00:15:56.559
I do.
00:15:56.639 --> 00:15:58.960
I just sorry.
00:15:59.840 --> 00:16:02.000
Is she not skipping her period?
00:16:02.320 --> 00:16:02.879
She did.
00:16:03.039 --> 00:16:04.720
She so she missed her period.
00:16:04.879 --> 00:16:08.320
But what she's doing, she's not taking those little sugar pills, which is fine.
00:16:08.720 --> 00:16:09.279
You don't have to take them.
00:16:09.519 --> 00:16:14.159
Unless she because normally, I mean it's been a while since I've been on birth control.
00:16:15.360 --> 00:16:21.039
But you take the things, and if you skip your period, that's fine, but you just keep on keeping it.
00:16:21.200 --> 00:16:21.840
Taking the pain.
00:16:21.919 --> 00:16:24.720
But we'll see what I And then you don't get a breakthrough.
00:16:25.840 --> 00:16:27.840
But you wouldn't not get a period.
00:16:28.399 --> 00:16:31.679
Well, so the thing is though, so you've got your week's worth of sugar pills.
00:16:31.840 --> 00:16:33.759
You can either choose to take them or not, you just pop them out.
00:16:33.840 --> 00:16:35.919
You still go around in the day, you're still going to get your period.
00:16:36.000 --> 00:16:42.480
The only time you miss a period is if you go from there and then you go straight to the next week and don't take, don't pop that seven back in.
00:16:42.720 --> 00:16:44.639
Yeah, so she says she's not taking her sugar pills though?
00:16:44.720 --> 00:16:49.360
She's not taking them, but she can just still chuck them in the bin, like pop this one out today, chuck it out.
00:16:49.919 --> 00:16:50.559
Okay, I'm with you.
00:16:51.120 --> 00:16:52.799
Right, okay, yeah, I'm with you now.
00:16:52.960 --> 00:16:53.120
Yeah.
00:16:53.279 --> 00:16:56.639
Oh, yeah, because you're like thinking if she just misses and goes to the next week.
00:16:57.039 --> 00:16:58.080
That's what she's getting confused with.
00:16:58.399 --> 00:17:03.120
So she's yeah, so I think there's still, I actually think they're still all in her blister pack.
00:17:03.200 --> 00:17:06.960
Like there's all these reservations, and she's just not taking it in the pill.
00:17:07.119 --> 00:17:07.759
Yep, yep, yep.
00:17:08.000 --> 00:17:09.680
Okay, excuse me.
00:17:09.920 --> 00:17:12.079
A couple of weeks ago, I missed my period.
00:17:12.240 --> 00:17:16.720
I took a pregnancy test and saw the dreaded second line and proceeded to freak out.
00:17:16.960 --> 00:17:20.000
Boyfriend was at work when I found out, so I called him immediately.
00:17:20.079 --> 00:17:22.640
I told him we need to talk and it was urgent.
00:17:22.799 --> 00:17:31.680
He didn't want to come home at first because we're not in a great situation financially, but I started bawling and begging, and I think he realized I was serious.
00:17:32.000 --> 00:17:34.400
When he got home, can you make me that distraught?
00:17:34.640 --> 00:17:36.319
Oh my god, that's just too sad.
00:17:36.720 --> 00:17:37.039
Okay.
00:17:37.599 --> 00:17:41.119
When he got home, I was sitting on the bathroom floor, I was a wreck.
00:17:41.200 --> 00:17:43.440
I cried so hard, I vomited.
00:17:43.599 --> 00:17:51.119
Anyways, Loyfring gets back to our apartment, finds me on the floor, and as soon as he sees the pregnancy test, he fucking smiles.
00:17:51.359 --> 00:17:54.160
His face lit up, and I saw red.
00:17:54.720 --> 00:17:57.119
No acknowledgement of the state I was in.
00:17:57.359 --> 00:18:04.000
The first thing he says to me, besides what's going on, was, oh my god, a baby, this is great.
00:18:04.160 --> 00:18:06.640
I wanted to put my head through the wall.
00:18:06.799 --> 00:18:14.799
I tried to explain to him through the snot and the tears and the spit that no, this was not great, and we're both full-time students with jobs.
00:18:14.960 --> 00:18:16.240
I can't take time off.
00:18:16.319 --> 00:18:18.480
I have a ton of unresolved health issues.
00:18:18.640 --> 00:18:20.799
We can barely afford the roof over our heads.
00:18:21.039 --> 00:18:30.400
I hate the idea of getting an abortion, but I'm all for it when it's someone else, just not for me, and I don't know where I can bring myself to do it.
00:18:31.119 --> 00:18:33.119
Oh, this is heavy.
00:18:34.720 --> 00:18:37.440
He left me to cool down in the bathroom for a while.
00:18:37.759 --> 00:18:39.759
Actually, I told him to get out.
00:18:40.319 --> 00:18:45.039
And I saw one of my fucking blister packs in the bathroom trash can.
00:18:45.839 --> 00:18:49.839
We don't use it very often, so we only empty it once in a while.
00:18:50.079 --> 00:18:55.839
I threw away the pregnancy test and not decide a what of toilet paper, and a silver foil caught my eye.
00:18:56.000 --> 00:19:04.960
I dug through the trash and I found seven of my regular fucking birth control pills at the bottom of the trash bag.
00:19:05.359 --> 00:19:07.680
Oh, because she doesn't take them out.
00:19:07.759 --> 00:19:12.559
She pops out a week, and remember she was saying that she puts it all into her with her rest for her medication?
00:19:12.640 --> 00:19:12.799
Yeah.
00:19:12.960 --> 00:19:16.240
So she just tips them in her hand and spoils them all at one.
00:19:16.799 --> 00:19:19.599
Oh naughty.
00:19:20.480 --> 00:19:26.160
I can't believe he not only did this to me, but also was incredibly careless.
00:19:26.400 --> 00:19:29.519
It is like he barely had tried to even hide it.
00:19:29.680 --> 00:19:37.759
I can't tell if he wanted me to find out or if he generally doesn't have anything knocking around inside his cranium besides a few rocks.
00:19:38.079 --> 00:19:38.640
Damn.
00:19:38.799 --> 00:19:41.839
I've been racking my brain to try and figure out how this could have happened.
00:19:42.000 --> 00:19:45.039
I'm so, so diligent about taking my meds.
00:19:45.119 --> 00:19:46.559
I feel so fucking stupid.
00:19:46.720 --> 00:19:49.359
The sugar pills are literally a different fucking colour.
00:19:49.440 --> 00:19:54.079
And like I take seven pills in the morning and unceremoniously dump them into my mouth.
00:19:54.240 --> 00:19:56.319
I definitely didn't look closely at them.
00:19:56.480 --> 00:19:58.640
He didn't give me a reason to think that I had to.
00:19:58.799 --> 00:20:00.720
He hadn't said anything about kits.
00:20:00.960 --> 00:20:04.960
I could tell that he was kind of trying to be better about his responsibilities lately.
00:20:05.119 --> 00:20:09.759
I thought things were just starting to finally look up when it came to the state of our relationship.
00:20:10.079 --> 00:20:12.559
We have access to each other's phones.
00:20:12.720 --> 00:20:19.359
I think he probably checked my FitFit app to find out when I was ovulating, since I tracked my period there.
00:20:19.680 --> 00:20:21.839
I don't know how else he could have known.
00:20:22.079 --> 00:20:28.640
I think I remember a few times I unlocked my phone and found that the app was open and I thought nothing of it.
00:20:28.960 --> 00:20:31.839
I confided in a few close friends about all of this.
00:20:31.920 --> 00:20:41.519
I told them everything, what he did, and how I think he did it, how I think his mum might have told him to, how fucking devastated I am and how stupid I feel.
00:20:41.920 --> 00:20:45.039
In essence, they told me I need to grow a spine and leave him.
00:20:45.200 --> 00:20:49.039
Stop going crazy and figure my shit out and decide what to do.
00:20:49.279 --> 00:20:52.960
Now, a part of me feels like I might be overreacting.
00:20:53.200 --> 00:20:56.799
I'm staying with my parents right now and they don't know what's going on.
00:20:57.200 --> 00:21:02.079
They're kind of religious, and I'm not exactly sure that how they would feel about an abortion.
00:21:02.319 --> 00:21:05.039
I don't want to bring it up because I don't know how they react.
00:21:05.359 --> 00:21:10.480
Boyfriend has been texting me nonstop, telling me to calm down, telling me to come home and talk to him.
00:21:10.640 --> 00:21:12.079
I'm so fucking lost.
00:21:12.319 --> 00:21:13.759
Sorry if this is a mess.
00:21:13.920 --> 00:21:18.559
I'm not proofreading and I just don't have the brain width right now.
00:21:20.319 --> 00:21:21.119
That's that.
00:21:21.359 --> 00:21:23.759
I cannot pick up my jaw from the floor.
00:21:23.920 --> 00:21:24.240
I know.
00:21:24.400 --> 00:21:34.400
Can you imagine being like if mum and son were conspiring together to make them have a baby?
00:21:34.480 --> 00:21:37.759
That's just so so young.
00:21:37.920 --> 00:21:39.200
They're 22, aren't they?
00:21:39.359 --> 00:21:39.519
Yeah.
00:21:39.759 --> 00:21:40.480
Yeah, 22.
00:21:40.880 --> 00:21:41.440
That's babies.
00:21:41.519 --> 00:21:42.720
That's entrapment.
00:21:42.880 --> 00:21:43.039
Yeah.
00:21:43.359 --> 00:21:43.839
Entrapment.
00:21:44.079 --> 00:21:50.079
You know, now babies are beautiful things when you're ready to have them or when you're of an age.
00:21:50.240 --> 00:21:55.680
Yeah, and sometimes they come and then you can make your life work around it.
00:21:55.920 --> 00:21:56.400
Definitely.
00:21:56.640 --> 00:21:59.759
And for some people, it doesn't feel right at that time either.
00:22:00.000 --> 00:22:00.319
Sorry.
00:22:00.400 --> 00:22:12.400
No, yeah, and I just for her choice, the choice was, and I think maybe if it was an accident like whoopsie daisy, she you know would have been devastated and then she could have come around to a chance.
00:22:13.200 --> 00:22:16.720
A mutual actual pondbreak bang.
00:22:17.039 --> 00:22:17.680
Whoopsie daisy.
00:22:18.000 --> 00:22:19.119
Both of our surely, you know.
00:22:19.599 --> 00:22:22.640
Contraception's not a fail-safe either.
00:22:22.880 --> 00:22:24.880
You know, and then they can have a discussion about it.
00:22:24.960 --> 00:22:37.680
But I think the way that he's come in, and the fact that she's found that her birth control has been tampered with, it's like it's been taken that choice has been taken away from her and somebody else is controlling her life playing God.
00:22:37.920 --> 00:22:45.200
I know I feel like I mean, I don't know, but I feel like there sh could be some sort of criminal element to this.
00:22:45.519 --> 00:22:47.359
I feel like it should be.
00:22:47.839 --> 00:22:48.559
I don't know.
00:22:48.720 --> 00:22:51.200
Like you can't tamper with somebody else's medication.
00:22:51.279 --> 00:22:54.640
No, and I'm glad she mentioned the colour thing in there as well.
00:22:54.720 --> 00:23:03.359
Because I was like, girl, um the normally the placebo pills are like white, yeah, and then like a yellowy or pinky colour for the hormone pill.
00:23:03.519 --> 00:23:08.880
But yeah, I mean, if she's popping them out and taking them with her other medications, she probably just looks for the shape shape.
00:23:09.119 --> 00:23:13.359
Yeah, like I mean, I take like a handful of multivitamins in the morning.
00:23:13.440 --> 00:23:20.240
Yeah, and but I take them all out of their little jars and bottles and pop them in my hand and you know down my throat.
00:23:20.319 --> 00:23:26.000
Whereas Dad doesn't, he does not the Webster packet, but he does all the you know the Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday.
00:23:26.240 --> 00:23:36.720
If he doesn't look at them, he spends 10-15 minutes putting them all in there, and then for the whole week he chucks them in his hand down his throat, and that's all she's doing, thinking she's doing the right thing.
00:23:37.200 --> 00:23:44.079
And then, oh, like it'll be just hard enough if it was just him, but if mother was involved is involved as well.
00:23:44.400 --> 00:23:48.319
And now the poor girl has to now like her family, she said was religious.
00:23:48.480 --> 00:23:50.400
Yes, and now she's got to deal with that.
00:23:50.640 --> 00:23:56.880
Wasn't her intention, and it sounds like she wants to continue school to 22.
00:23:57.119 --> 00:24:07.519
She's such a baby, and if it were like we said before, if it was a genuine accident, then I feel you know, sometimes it's a mutual decision what you do, yeah.
00:24:07.680 --> 00:24:14.000
You know, but quite often that decision is they have the baby and they could never think of life without that baby.
00:24:14.240 --> 00:24:22.880
But you know, if she goes on to have the baby, it's gonna be a constant reminder of the act in which it was brought upon.
00:24:23.440 --> 00:24:28.000
You know, I feel I don't know, I really feel like there's some sort of entrapment criminal.
00:24:28.400 --> 00:24:30.480
Yeah, I wouldn't be able to look at him the same way either.
00:24:30.559 --> 00:24:31.119
I don't blame her.
00:24:31.200 --> 00:24:37.920
I'd probably want it even in the relationship because if he's been able to do something as big as this, what else has he done?
00:24:38.160 --> 00:24:39.759
Oh, oh, and what is tender?
00:24:40.079 --> 00:24:40.400
What is he?
00:24:40.640 --> 00:24:42.720
Yeah, you know, will he do that again?
00:24:42.880 --> 00:24:44.880
Like I would just never trust him again.
00:24:45.200 --> 00:24:48.160
Do you have a quick edit?
00:24:49.599 --> 00:24:51.279
I've been expecting an edit.
00:24:51.359 --> 00:24:52.799
Thank you for keeping me special.
00:24:53.119 --> 00:24:53.839
That's exciting.
00:24:54.160 --> 00:24:56.480
Do we want to, though, Chloe?
00:24:56.880 --> 00:25:00.480
Would you like to hear top comments first and then I'll do the edit?
00:25:01.279 --> 00:25:05.440
Oh, do the top comments relate to the edit or is it relating to the original post?
00:25:05.680 --> 00:25:10.400
It relates to okay, it just it doesn't relate to the edit.
00:25:10.559 --> 00:25:12.079
Okay, okay, top comment.
00:25:12.319 --> 00:25:13.920
I'm not going to sugarcoat this.
00:25:14.000 --> 00:25:16.240
This is a form of sexual assault, ma'am.
00:25:16.640 --> 00:25:17.599
That's heavy.
00:25:17.920 --> 00:25:18.240
Okay.
00:25:18.960 --> 00:25:24.480
He is trying to force you to carry a child to turn, birth it, and then raise it without your consent.
00:25:24.640 --> 00:25:28.480
This is not a safe person to have in your life, nor is it safe to raise a child.
00:25:28.720 --> 00:25:35.759
Him and his mother, your description of his mother makes me think that they did this together, or it was even her idea.
00:25:36.000 --> 00:25:36.880
A word of advice.
00:25:37.039 --> 00:25:39.920
If you decide to terminate, tell him you miscarried.
00:25:40.079 --> 00:25:46.240
He doesn't deserve the truth, and you don't deserve whatever terrible response he and his mum would direct your way.
00:25:46.880 --> 00:25:50.480
You need to put yourself first and decide what you want your life to be.
00:25:50.559 --> 00:25:51.680
Good luck, OP.
00:25:52.079 --> 00:25:54.559
Alright, I'll do one more comment and then I'll do the edit.
00:25:54.720 --> 00:25:55.039
Okay.
00:25:55.279 --> 00:25:58.960
Alright, let me just check that this does not give away the edit.
00:25:59.039 --> 00:25:59.920
I don't think it does.
00:26:00.240 --> 00:26:04.400
OP, this man has committed a pretty serious crime against you.
00:26:04.720 --> 00:26:05.359
Knuckles.
00:26:05.839 --> 00:26:06.400
Yeah.
00:26:07.599 --> 00:26:09.359
You are not overreacting.
00:26:09.519 --> 00:26:15.599
I understand the guilt aspect of not wanting to have an abortion, and that's super valid to feel that way.
00:26:15.759 --> 00:26:26.799
However, it's worth considering that if he was willing to commit an act of sexual violence to keep you with him and doing what he wants, you really don't know what he is capable of.
00:26:27.039 --> 00:26:27.920
That's what we were saying.
00:26:28.720 --> 00:26:31.599
And you really don't know what his mother is capable of.
00:26:31.839 --> 00:26:37.440
It is common knowledge that you should not bring a child into a relationship that is struggling.
00:26:37.599 --> 00:26:43.759
It's a hard thing to do in a strong relationship, and you don't want to condemn a child to a life with these people either.
00:26:43.920 --> 00:26:47.519
You don't want to be tied to this man or his mother for the rest of your life.
00:26:47.680 --> 00:26:55.759
There are literally millions of men out there who would give you a child when you were ready, willing and most importantly, aware that this was happening.
00:26:56.160 --> 00:26:59.119
I promise you deserve so much better than this.
00:26:59.440 --> 00:27:00.079
Yeah.
00:27:00.559 --> 00:27:01.519
Alright.
00:27:02.319 --> 00:27:03.920
Ready for a quick edit, Chloe?
00:27:04.559 --> 00:27:05.440
You know what she did?
00:27:05.680 --> 00:27:06.880
Oh, yeah, give it to me.
00:27:07.200 --> 00:27:07.519
Okay.
00:27:08.000 --> 00:27:08.960
Give it to me.
00:27:10.000 --> 00:27:11.279
I'm terminating.
00:27:11.920 --> 00:27:13.440
I'm chronically ill.
00:27:13.759 --> 00:27:18.720
I have an extremely risky pregnancy, and I don't want to bring a kid into this environment.
00:27:18.960 --> 00:27:20.319
I've made an appointment.
00:27:20.480 --> 00:27:22.480
I'm still so scared.
00:27:22.880 --> 00:27:29.839
I also had my friend gently prod my ex over text about what happened, and he didn't even have to do much.
00:27:30.000 --> 00:27:35.599
He bent immediately saying he needed to get it off his chest and that he feels like a terrible person.
00:27:35.839 --> 00:27:37.599
In parentheses, he is.
00:27:38.079 --> 00:27:43.440
I'm leaving that goddamn scumbag and my life bar behind me.
00:27:43.519 --> 00:27:45.359
He just doesn't know it yet.
00:27:46.160 --> 00:27:48.079
Yeah, that's heavy.
00:27:48.480 --> 00:27:50.400
I can't believe he admitted to it, too.
00:27:50.640 --> 00:27:50.960
Yeah.
00:27:51.599 --> 00:27:53.839
And it didn't take much for him to bend.
00:27:54.240 --> 00:27:55.440
What a scumbag.
00:27:55.839 --> 00:27:57.359
So that is horrible.
00:27:57.519 --> 00:28:02.880
So yes, definitely, everyone, general consensus is it's a pretty serious crime.
00:28:03.599 --> 00:28:06.799
In the UK, it's considered rape.
00:28:08.559 --> 00:28:09.119
Wow.
00:28:09.519 --> 00:28:11.279
Yeah, I wonder where they're located.
00:28:11.519 --> 00:28:20.720
Definitely saying differently in what part of state or country you you're in, with him report admitting to it, report it to the police.
00:28:21.039 --> 00:28:24.079
Yeah, unless I wonder if they've got actual evidence of her.
00:28:24.400 --> 00:28:29.759
Well, her friend has it was over text message, so there should be text messages.
00:28:30.000 --> 00:28:30.240
Yeah.
00:28:30.480 --> 00:28:33.680
So there is a few more comments here by OP.
00:28:34.480 --> 00:28:36.559
She lives in a state.
00:28:36.720 --> 00:28:42.640
She says, I have a really close mutual friend with him that she's known since childhood.
00:28:42.799 --> 00:28:51.119
She's gonna ask if he'll be willing to gently prod to try and get five text, sorry, to try and get an omission or explanation.
00:28:51.599 --> 00:28:53.359
Well, she lived in the States.
00:28:53.920 --> 00:28:56.799
But was one of the comments of the UK be considered right?
00:28:57.039 --> 00:28:57.200
Yeah.
00:28:57.519 --> 00:29:01.359
She plans on filing a police report once figuring out how.
00:29:01.680 --> 00:29:04.799
Yeah, because she feels like she needs to know exactly what happened.
00:29:04.960 --> 00:29:22.960
I mean, she knows what happened, but why and how and what and she doesn't know when she's going to get that closure, but she says she'll see, and then she went on to say, yes, that she is going to terminate, she has a chronic illness, it would make it a very risky pregnancy, and that she just didn't want to bring a child into this environment.
00:29:23.279 --> 00:29:25.920
And she's the poor girl who's scared and feels guilty.
00:29:26.400 --> 00:29:30.480
Like, that's just awful to have her to be like that.
00:29:30.799 --> 00:29:32.799
Yeah, I'm glad she's pressing charges.
00:29:33.119 --> 00:29:34.079
Yeah, yeah.
00:29:34.559 --> 00:29:35.440
Definitely.
00:29:35.680 --> 00:29:36.640
That's horrific.
00:29:36.799 --> 00:29:37.839
What a piece of shit.
00:29:38.000 --> 00:29:38.880
And the mum, too.
00:29:39.279 --> 00:29:39.920
22 years over.
00:29:40.400 --> 00:29:41.200
Oh my god.
00:29:41.359 --> 00:29:45.279
That poor girl, she's just gonna have so much like to that's traumatic.
00:29:45.440 --> 00:29:59.839
It is, and she has to live with that, and even when she is in a loving relationship and she decides, mutually decides with her partner that they want children, she's always gonna feel you know.
00:30:00.400 --> 00:30:00.960
Poor guilt.
00:30:01.119 --> 00:30:01.440
Guilty.
00:30:02.160 --> 00:30:03.200
Anyway, that's mine.
00:30:03.279 --> 00:30:04.000
One and done.
00:30:04.160 --> 00:30:05.920
If we've got time for another one, Chloe.
00:30:06.319 --> 00:30:07.519
Yeah, I think we should.
00:30:07.599 --> 00:30:08.640
We're doing well for time.
00:30:09.200 --> 00:30:09.839
Excellent.
00:30:10.160 --> 00:30:13.680
We should have time for possibly both of that.
00:30:14.240 --> 00:30:15.359
Okay, well, you're right.
00:30:15.680 --> 00:30:20.640
Okay, so my next one is oh, that's right.
00:30:21.200 --> 00:30:23.039
I'm still icked out.
00:30:25.920 --> 00:30:26.079
Oh.
00:30:26.640 --> 00:30:29.039
Okay, so this one was posted six years ago.
00:30:29.359 --> 00:30:44.160
So it says my 22 female and fiance male 25, so his her fiance 25 wants his father to check her hymen tomorrow night before they get married.
00:30:44.799 --> 00:30:46.319
Is this a religion thing?
00:30:46.480 --> 00:30:48.000
I don't know, but let's find out.
00:30:48.240 --> 00:30:50.880
My fiance proposed to me about eight months ago.
00:30:51.039 --> 00:30:55.200
We decided on having a relatively small wedding, which is in two days.
00:30:55.440 --> 00:30:56.960
Everything is going great.
00:30:57.119 --> 00:31:00.559
It seems absolutely perfect, and we're very much in love.
00:31:01.119 --> 00:31:02.799
I'm a virgin and so is he.
00:31:02.960 --> 00:31:06.480
He wanted to save it for marriage, and I wasn't fussed, so I agreed to saving it.
00:31:06.720 --> 00:31:12.319
He told me earlier that in his family, the father checks the virginity of the bride the night before the wedding.
00:31:12.480 --> 00:31:16.559
I laugh this off as it seriously sounds like a massive joke.
00:31:16.880 --> 00:31:19.599
It turns out he was dead serious.
00:31:19.920 --> 00:31:28.559
He wants me the night before to open my legs up in a small ceremony type thing.
00:31:28.720 --> 00:31:37.519
So his dad can check me while him, his brothers, and his uncle can watch so they know that I am still pure.
00:31:37.839 --> 00:31:39.119
Nah, tap out.
00:31:40.720 --> 00:31:42.880
Tap out, tap the fuck out.
00:31:43.200 --> 00:31:44.079
Tap the fuck out.
00:31:44.240 --> 00:31:44.880
Tap out.
00:31:46.319 --> 00:31:47.200
Hell no.
00:31:48.000 --> 00:31:48.559
Yeah.
00:31:48.799 --> 00:31:51.599
I'm keeping my virginity, ain't getting near it.
00:31:52.480 --> 00:31:54.400
Told him fat chance.
00:31:54.640 --> 00:31:55.200
Good girl.
00:31:55.440 --> 00:31:57.039
Yeah, I'm going to do that.
00:31:57.279 --> 00:32:03.279
And he was begging me to go through with it and how important it is for him.
00:32:03.519 --> 00:32:09.279
He said he knew it was slightly embarrassedly embarrassing for me.
00:32:09.759 --> 00:32:16.000
But his mum did it and prove how much I love him and that I have nothing to hide.
00:32:16.319 --> 00:32:18.640
Anyway, as I'm still a virgin.
00:32:19.119 --> 00:32:22.640
I left and he was crying.
00:32:22.799 --> 00:32:24.960
It was very dramatic, to be honest.
00:32:25.200 --> 00:32:27.200
Hang on, just push pause for a second.
00:32:27.359 --> 00:32:39.200
How about we let Bride's family inspect his wiener to make sure it's decent enough to break her virginity?
00:32:40.799 --> 00:32:45.119
Let's bring it, let's bring sisters and aunties and look at that thing.
00:32:45.359 --> 00:32:47.039
Grandma, let's slap it out on the table.
00:32:47.119 --> 00:32:47.599
Let's have a look.
00:32:48.640 --> 00:32:52.079
We'll make a ceremony, we'll put flowers and shit around, champagne.
00:32:53.359 --> 00:32:54.559
We can do that.
00:32:55.519 --> 00:32:56.480
Take measure.
00:32:56.640 --> 00:32:57.200
Yeah.
00:32:58.480 --> 00:32:59.519
Oh, sorry.
00:32:59.759 --> 00:33:02.160
Karen, I'm still a bit flustered.
00:33:02.880 --> 00:33:08.640
I want to call off the whole wedding because of this and never talk to him again.
00:33:08.799 --> 00:33:16.799
But at the same time, it's only one thing, and other than that, we are genuinely perfect for each other.
00:33:16.960 --> 00:33:19.519
And I don't want to spend my life with anyone else.
00:33:19.680 --> 00:33:22.720
And it is very important to him and his family.
00:33:22.960 --> 00:33:24.640
What the frick frack?
00:33:24.960 --> 00:33:26.160
What the frick frack?
00:33:26.400 --> 00:33:27.680
Is that what she said or is that you?
00:33:27.920 --> 00:33:28.880
No, that's what she said.
00:33:29.039 --> 00:33:30.240
Damn, I like frick frack.
00:33:30.400 --> 00:33:31.279
Yeah, same.
00:33:31.759 --> 00:33:34.160
What the frick frack do I do?
00:33:34.319 --> 00:33:38.000
I'm currently at my friend's house and I might stay here for the night.
00:33:38.160 --> 00:33:44.799
Tomorrow would be our last day as an unmarried couple, and I'm straight up panicking.
00:33:46.079 --> 00:33:47.279
Oh honey.
00:33:48.799 --> 00:33:54.480
That's some heavy, juicy decision she has to make.
00:33:55.680 --> 00:33:57.200
And it's quick.
00:33:57.599 --> 00:33:58.880
I do know what we need to do.
00:33:59.039 --> 00:34:04.720
We need to do like a side Google search just to see what sort of reasoning behind why.
00:34:04.960 --> 00:34:14.719
And if it what sort of culture it is that that's okay to let Uncle, brothers, everyone look in your hoo-ha to see if you're being honest or not.
00:34:15.039 --> 00:34:23.119
I mean, I don't want to judge cultures because that's like no, no, I'm yeah, that's what I know, but I still feel like that's why we need to Google it to get out there.
00:34:24.159 --> 00:34:26.719
You're gonna have that on your search history now, too.
00:34:27.039 --> 00:34:31.840
Yay! My algorithm is going to be so much fun now.
00:34:32.960 --> 00:34:34.000
What culture?
00:34:38.719 --> 00:34:43.360
In front of whatever, just all right.
00:34:43.599 --> 00:34:56.400
So I've just done a quick search and it says that traditionally performs a hymen inspection publicly in front of male relatives, like brothers, uncles, and potential husband is a ceremonial practice.
00:34:56.639 --> 00:35:05.039
It's called like virginity testing, yeah, and it's not scientifically valid as hymen's appearance are not a reliable indicator of sexual activity.
00:35:06.000 --> 00:35:13.440
The who and UN have strongly condemned, oh, condemned, not commended.
00:35:14.000 --> 00:35:15.679
Recommended, we all do this, yeah.
00:35:16.079 --> 00:35:17.519
No, definitely not.
00:35:17.760 --> 00:35:20.639
They have condemned such practices.
00:35:21.280 --> 00:35:22.719
So this is six years ago?
00:35:22.960 --> 00:35:23.760
Is that yeah?
00:35:23.920 --> 00:35:24.079
Yeah.
00:35:24.320 --> 00:35:36.239
So examples of practices involving virginity checks are parts of South Asia, Middle East, North Africa, certain tribal or rural communities.
00:35:36.960 --> 00:35:40.320
And yeah, it's documented as human right abuse.
00:35:40.480 --> 00:35:50.239
We've got some reports of it happening in Afghanistan, Indonesia, and North Africa, but they're all widely condemned now.
00:35:50.559 --> 00:35:52.480
Yeah, so that's like 20.
00:35:52.960 --> 00:35:53.679
What are we now?
00:35:53.840 --> 00:35:54.400
25.
00:35:54.559 --> 00:35:56.320
So that's like, yeah, still 20th century.
00:35:56.400 --> 00:35:57.360
It's come too far for it.
00:35:58.000 --> 00:36:06.400
Women have we've evolved much more than to be in some ceremony having people looking up.
00:36:06.639 --> 00:36:06.800
Yeah.
00:36:06.960 --> 00:36:12.079
And also, too, can you imagine at a family barbecue and father-in-law sitting there?
00:36:12.320 --> 00:36:12.800
Nah, nah.
00:36:13.039 --> 00:36:17.440
Father-in-law sitting there, and always meowing what you got up your skirt.
00:36:17.760 --> 00:36:20.320
Top comment, let's have a look.
00:36:20.480 --> 00:36:22.719
And I feel like it's some sort of sexual abuse, too.
00:36:22.960 --> 00:36:24.960
You shouldn't be showing anybody anything.
00:36:25.280 --> 00:36:32.000
Okay, top comment is this tradition in 6699 is disgusting.
00:36:32.159 --> 00:36:36.639
He is essentially asking you to expose yourself to every male in his family.
00:36:36.800 --> 00:36:37.760
It's nuts.
00:36:37.840 --> 00:36:40.880
Not to mention Reek's control and abuse.
00:36:41.280 --> 00:36:41.679
Yep.
00:36:42.079 --> 00:36:45.920
Some traditions are beautiful and fun, some traditions are demeaning and disgusting.
00:36:46.239 --> 00:36:48.400
This tradition is one that needs to die.
00:36:48.480 --> 00:36:54.239
I can't imagine being a father and wanting to look at my son's wife's private parts.
00:36:54.400 --> 00:36:58.800
I can't imagine wanting my father to look at my wife's private parts.
00:36:58.960 --> 00:37:01.119
What the fuck are they thinking?
00:37:01.760 --> 00:37:02.159
Yeah.
00:37:02.639 --> 00:37:03.440
Not good.
00:37:03.920 --> 00:37:05.360
Let there be an update.
00:37:05.679 --> 00:37:06.639
There's an update.
00:37:07.920 --> 00:37:08.800
Thank you.
00:37:09.599 --> 00:37:13.440
Cannot go through with the rest of this day thinking there's women out there.
00:37:14.079 --> 00:37:14.480
Alright.
00:37:14.639 --> 00:37:15.039
Please don't.
00:37:15.280 --> 00:37:15.920
Please don't do it.
00:37:16.639 --> 00:37:20.719
First of all, thank you so much for all of the replies.
00:37:20.880 --> 00:37:23.119
I didn't think this would get so big.
00:37:23.360 --> 00:37:25.280
I have read pretty much all of them.
00:37:25.599 --> 00:37:31.679
Special shout out goes to the person who says that this was fake solely on the fact that I write like a man.
00:37:31.920 --> 00:37:33.360
Whatever that means.
00:37:33.599 --> 00:37:35.280
Also, thanks for all the gold and silver.
00:37:35.360 --> 00:37:35.920
It's appreciated.
00:37:36.079 --> 00:37:38.480
Although, if you want to spend money, give it to charity or something.
00:37:38.639 --> 00:37:43.039
So people can actually like donate money and things on here.
00:37:43.440 --> 00:37:43.840
Yeah.
00:37:44.159 --> 00:37:45.119
If you didn't know.
00:37:45.599 --> 00:37:52.639
I went and talked to him this morning and I told him that his father is not going to look at me and he needs to respect that.
00:37:52.880 --> 00:37:57.679
He was adamant that it needs to happen and accused me of lying about my virginity.
00:37:57.920 --> 00:38:03.599
I was trying to be calm and rational, but he was not having it and just became more and more angry.
00:38:03.760 --> 00:38:16.639
I told him if he really loved me, he would stand by me on this and tell his father no, to which he slapped me and said he didn't need to prove anything.
00:38:16.880 --> 00:38:18.719
So I ended it and left him.
00:38:18.800 --> 00:38:23.280
I'm currently back at my friend's house being miserable and eating pizza, which is pretty fun.
00:38:23.360 --> 00:38:24.000
So yeah.
00:38:24.159 --> 00:38:24.559
Thanks.
00:38:24.880 --> 00:38:27.599
And your knickers are on and no one else is looking up your hoo-ha.
00:38:27.920 --> 00:38:30.159
Yeah, thank God she didn't lose her virginity.
00:38:30.480 --> 00:38:31.199
This slack trick.
00:38:31.360 --> 00:38:33.039
Can you imagine if she married him?
00:38:33.360 --> 00:38:35.840
Oh, I'm so glad she got out of there.
00:38:36.079 --> 00:38:37.599
Well done, girl.
00:38:37.920 --> 00:38:39.119
That's heavy.
00:38:39.519 --> 00:38:40.719
Well done.
00:38:41.039 --> 00:38:44.480
Yeah, someone said, wow, just as controlling as we expected.
00:38:44.639 --> 00:38:50.400
To accuse you of lying and then slap you is real fucking bold on his part.
00:38:50.639 --> 00:38:52.079
Good work getting rid of him.
00:38:52.239 --> 00:38:53.280
You'll be much better off.
00:38:53.440 --> 00:38:56.239
Glad you have a good friend on your side.
00:38:56.559 --> 00:38:57.039
Yeah.
00:38:57.280 --> 00:38:57.760
Yeah.
00:38:58.079 --> 00:38:59.360
Dodged our bullet.
00:38:59.519 --> 00:39:00.000
100%.
00:39:00.880 --> 00:39:01.199
Alright.
00:39:01.360 --> 00:39:03.280
I think we've got time for yours, mum.
00:39:03.440 --> 00:39:03.599
Okay.
00:39:03.840 --> 00:39:05.039
You're doing well for time.
00:39:05.119 --> 00:39:07.280
We're managing baby on our hips.
00:39:07.760 --> 00:39:09.920
Well, she's trying to grab our microphones.
00:39:10.559 --> 00:39:11.119
Exactly.
00:39:11.280 --> 00:39:17.599
I do have mine up here, but I can't see whether there's an update on there at all.
00:39:17.920 --> 00:39:18.320
That's okay.
00:39:18.400 --> 00:39:18.960
We'll read it.
00:39:19.119 --> 00:39:19.360
All right.
00:39:21.039 --> 00:39:29.519
My 24 female husband, 26 male, left me passed out on the floor while sick and then got mad at me the next morning.
00:39:29.760 --> 00:39:31.599
I see him different now.
00:39:32.800 --> 00:39:34.320
All right, ship sail for her.
00:39:34.400 --> 00:39:35.679
She already married him.
00:39:35.920 --> 00:39:39.039
Okay, we'll give this guy the benefit of the doubt for now.
00:39:39.199 --> 00:39:40.000
Let's read on.
00:39:40.559 --> 00:39:43.280
Okay, we've been married a few years and have a baby.
00:39:43.519 --> 00:39:49.199
We have relationship issues after the baby, but I thought that we resolved them and he promised that he would be better at all.
00:39:49.599 --> 00:39:50.639
He did get better.
00:39:50.800 --> 00:40:01.360
He did share around the house and do house tours, but not really a big issue because he does what he needs to do without complaint or comment.
00:40:01.519 --> 00:40:01.840
Okay.
00:40:02.000 --> 00:40:02.880
Big job, mate.
00:40:02.960 --> 00:40:03.360
Big job.
00:40:03.519 --> 00:40:04.559
Well done.
00:40:05.360 --> 00:40:05.679
Okay.
00:40:07.280 --> 00:40:09.760
Something at the back of my head felt off.
00:40:09.920 --> 00:40:15.360
I've never really explored the nagging feeling, but now I realize that he never showed me any extra care.
00:40:15.519 --> 00:40:21.039
In fact, he gets upset or easily frustrated with me if I cause extra inconvenience.
00:40:21.280 --> 00:40:24.239
I'm not sure how I didn't notice this until now.
00:40:24.559 --> 00:40:27.119
Two days ago, I think I got sick.
00:40:27.360 --> 00:40:32.559
I was feeling that gross, thick skin feeling and vertigo, lightheaded.
00:40:32.719 --> 00:40:35.840
By the time night came around, I was shivering and freezing.
00:40:36.000 --> 00:40:42.559
Yep, I think I was still able to function, so I didn't think much of it.
00:40:42.800 --> 00:40:46.000
Complained to my husband about it, and then we went to sleep.
00:40:46.239 --> 00:40:49.599
Yesterday I woke up feeling like my bones were lead.
00:40:49.760 --> 00:40:53.920
I don't know how I functioned yesterday, but I felt like I was on autopilot.
00:40:54.079 --> 00:40:59.039
My boss messaged me with some tasks, so I did them on my phone before my baby woke up.
00:40:59.199 --> 00:41:02.320
I rolled out of bed and then somehow took my sister to school.
00:41:02.480 --> 00:41:04.159
Came back and then worked some more.
00:41:04.320 --> 00:41:07.440
Usually I have energy to flip between being a mum and working.
00:41:07.519 --> 00:41:13.440
But yesterday I just laid on the floor to work while my one-year-old watched some Miss Rachel.
00:41:13.760 --> 00:41:15.519
Oh Miss Rachel.
00:41:15.599 --> 00:41:16.239
Oh, she's YouTube.
00:41:17.760 --> 00:41:20.639
She sings and she's like Miss Rachel.
00:41:20.800 --> 00:41:21.119
Okay.
00:41:21.519 --> 00:41:29.039
Then I had to pick my sister up from school, come home, make dinner, and by the time my husband came home, I felt dead on my feet.
00:41:29.280 --> 00:41:33.039
Anytime I moved, I felt like I was lagging and my body couldn't keep up.
00:41:33.199 --> 00:41:35.199
I told my husband this a few times.
00:41:35.440 --> 00:41:41.440
We ate, I put away the leftovers, put baby to sleep while my husband went to his office to do some quick work.
00:41:41.679 --> 00:41:44.960
After this, I don't really remember because my brain was foggy.
00:41:45.280 --> 00:41:46.800
I found myself in his office.
00:41:46.960 --> 00:41:48.719
We exchanged a few words.
00:41:48.880 --> 00:41:50.239
I don't remember what.
00:41:50.559 --> 00:41:54.079
Next thing I knew, I woke up alone on his office floor.
00:41:54.320 --> 00:41:56.159
I felt so heavy and out of it.
00:41:56.239 --> 00:41:58.000
It took so much effort to get up.
00:41:58.159 --> 00:42:03.840
But when I got out, the lights were off, the kitchen was untouched, and he was in bed.
00:42:04.719 --> 00:42:05.599
Fuck off.
00:42:06.079 --> 00:42:08.800
She's like, sounds like she's passed out in his office.
00:42:08.880 --> 00:42:11.280
He's just like stepped over the top of her and gone out, turned the lights on.
00:42:11.599 --> 00:42:12.159
He was in the office.
00:42:12.559 --> 00:42:14.239
Yeah, she was talking to him.
00:42:16.480 --> 00:42:19.440
Oh my god, he sounds so horrible.
00:42:20.880 --> 00:42:22.000
That's like a movie.
00:42:22.159 --> 00:42:23.280
Okay, hang on a minute.
00:42:23.360 --> 00:42:26.719
I don't even know where I'm up to now because I've got a bit quick work.
00:42:26.960 --> 00:42:28.480
I woke up on his office floor.
00:42:28.639 --> 00:42:30.079
I felt so heavy, blah blah blah blah blah.
00:42:30.239 --> 00:42:30.639
There we go.
00:42:30.719 --> 00:42:33.599
So yes, so she felt so heavy and out of it.
00:42:33.840 --> 00:42:40.079
By the time she got up, the lights were all off, the kitchen was not touched, and he went to bed.
00:42:40.159 --> 00:42:43.840
So stepped over her, left the kitchen, everything out, and then gone to bed.
00:42:44.400 --> 00:42:45.039
Rock star.
00:42:45.519 --> 00:42:46.400
Check for a pulse.
00:42:48.559 --> 00:42:50.719
Oh, this poor woman, my gosh.
00:42:50.880 --> 00:42:55.039
And she'd already told him numerous times throughout the day she didn't feel well.
00:42:56.159 --> 00:42:57.760
Clean too.
00:42:57.920 --> 00:42:58.320
Yes.
00:42:58.719 --> 00:43:02.400
I just stood in the kitchen and realized that he just doesn't care.
00:43:02.800 --> 00:43:09.039
I already knew he wasn't going to clean the kitchen tomorrow and that he didn't care that I fell off.
00:43:09.199 --> 00:43:15.599
I'd had a busy day plan and I didn't have time to do all the washing and do the dishes the next day.
00:43:15.920 --> 00:43:18.239
So I loaded the dishwasher and then I went off to bed.
00:43:18.400 --> 00:43:21.760
It's a hard enough being sick as a like parent anyway.
00:43:22.239 --> 00:43:28.159
Just being a normal person just looking after yourself and kids and sisters that she is taking care of.
00:43:28.480 --> 00:43:31.519
And then a husband that steps over you while you're like on the floor.
00:43:31.760 --> 00:43:32.960
Thanks for turning the lights off.
00:43:33.119 --> 00:43:35.679
Don't want to waste electricity while I'm passed out on the floor.
00:43:36.239 --> 00:43:36.880
Sorry, continue.
00:43:37.280 --> 00:43:37.599
Okay.
00:43:38.239 --> 00:43:40.079
Loaded the dishwasher and went to bed.
00:43:40.239 --> 00:43:46.719
I laid down and five minutes later, my husband very angrily told me to turn the lights off in the kitchen.
00:43:46.960 --> 00:43:51.440
At this point, I had no energy to deal with him, so I ignored him and was asleep.
00:43:52.079 --> 00:43:57.039
The next morning, today, I woke up covered in sweat and that gross feeling was gone.
00:43:57.199 --> 00:43:59.119
That's when I realized that I was sick.
00:43:59.360 --> 00:44:00.719
My husband was upset with me.
00:44:04.079 --> 00:44:06.079
This is super woman, she doesn't get sick very often.
00:44:06.480 --> 00:44:08.480
Okay, my husband was upset with me.
00:44:08.639 --> 00:44:11.519
He wouldn't talk or look at me and was stomping around.
00:44:11.599 --> 00:44:16.639
I tried to ask him about yesterday, but he just grumbled something about me confusing him.
00:44:17.199 --> 00:44:21.360
Everything from yesterday caught up, and I just can't see him the same.
00:44:21.440 --> 00:44:27.199
I realize that he's never taken care of me or done anything that was inconvenient for him.
00:44:27.440 --> 00:44:30.400
I've been sick before, and every time it's the same thing.
00:44:30.480 --> 00:44:32.480
He gets upset at me somehow.
00:44:32.719 --> 00:44:36.480
After I had a baby, he was upset that nothing was kept around the house.
00:44:36.559 --> 00:44:41.199
Yet he got angry with me when I fainted from over exertion at two weeks postpartum.
00:44:41.599 --> 00:44:57.519
I remember him yelling at me that I did this to myself and it was my fault for not taking care of myself, even though just two days before he was telling me that he was angry with me for not keeping up with the laundry and that I needed to clean the kitchen because it was starting to smell and he didn't want to cook anymore.
00:44:57.760 --> 00:45:01.199
Don't even get me started on how he never woke up at night.
00:45:01.280 --> 00:45:03.280
So clearly he doesn't get up to Bub's either.
00:45:03.360 --> 00:45:03.519
Yeah.
00:45:03.599 --> 00:45:04.000
Oh my god.
00:45:04.239 --> 00:45:05.440
He smells like a real keeper.
00:45:05.840 --> 00:45:06.719
Yeah, yeah.
00:45:06.960 --> 00:45:11.039
All these memories just hit me, and now I'm just disgusted by him.
00:45:11.360 --> 00:45:12.880
How did I not see this?
00:45:13.039 --> 00:45:14.480
What do I even do?
00:45:14.800 --> 00:45:18.880
I'm going to stop here because or before the post gets too long.
00:45:19.360 --> 00:45:20.159
Oh, this post.
00:45:20.400 --> 00:45:21.679
I'm gonna stop here before the post gets too long.
00:45:21.760 --> 00:45:24.559
Oh, I thought that you were just like I'm just gonna stop.
00:45:24.800 --> 00:45:25.599
That's it, I'm done.
00:45:26.079 --> 00:45:26.719
No, no, no.
00:45:26.880 --> 00:45:27.360
Yeah, okay.
00:45:27.519 --> 00:45:28.159
Wow.
00:45:29.280 --> 00:45:34.159
There's a little edit that which doesn't really, it's not like a thing.
00:45:34.239 --> 00:45:36.719
So we can read the top comments and stuff like that.
00:45:36.960 --> 00:45:38.320
But there is just little edit.
00:45:38.480 --> 00:45:43.519
She's just so let's just revisit everything that she's been through.
00:45:43.679 --> 00:45:56.400
She's sick, she's dizzy, she fell off, she still managed to work, she took her on the floor, took her sister to school, come back, did all the baby stuff, cooked dinner, tried to tell him again that she was sick, fainted on the floor.
00:45:56.800 --> 00:45:58.960
Unloaded the dishwasher, loaded it.
00:45:59.039 --> 00:46:02.239
Well, because he just walked around her and went straight to bed.
00:46:02.400 --> 00:46:08.239
Okay, so then she's disgusted by him, she can't even see him the same way, blah, blah, blah.
00:46:08.880 --> 00:46:10.719
He's just texted her.
00:46:12.400 --> 00:46:17.039
He said, I feel beat and I could barely brush my teeth this morning.
00:46:18.880 --> 00:46:20.079
She's like, I don't even know.
00:46:21.360 --> 00:46:23.440
I don't even know how to respond to this.
00:46:26.239 --> 00:46:31.760
She's just like, I can't believe that I took care of this man every time he got sick two days and after surgeries.
00:46:32.239 --> 00:46:35.519
He sounds like, what'd you say, a real keeper?
00:46:36.400 --> 00:46:41.440
But then that's kind of like all I yeah, okay.
00:46:41.679 --> 00:46:43.199
So when was it posted?
00:46:43.360 --> 00:46:44.719
17 days ago.
00:46:45.039 --> 00:46:48.000
Let's see if we go on to so it's not a throwaway account.
00:46:48.159 --> 00:46:48.320
Yeah.
00:46:49.519 --> 00:46:51.039
Oh, it is a throwaway.
00:46:51.920 --> 00:46:52.480
Yeah.
00:46:53.119 --> 00:46:53.920
So that's it.
00:46:54.000 --> 00:46:55.840
We don't have any updates from that.
00:46:56.079 --> 00:46:58.400
No, no updates.
00:47:00.480 --> 00:47:10.079
Oh well, hopefully it is seven days, 17 days old, so hopefully she might do an update.
00:47:10.320 --> 00:47:11.519
Yeah, we'll keep an eye on it.
00:47:11.599 --> 00:47:16.400
And yeah, I mean, and if OP's listening to this, then they might like to.
00:47:16.960 --> 00:47:17.519
Yeah, yeah.
00:47:17.679 --> 00:47:20.400
She definitely needs to not go backwards.
00:47:20.480 --> 00:47:30.159
Like, she's got to a point now where she's seeing everything through new eyes, it sounds like she's realizing, oh, hang on, I take care of him all the time.
00:47:30.800 --> 00:47:44.159
I am like, I'm just like any woman that has had a baby or is like anything, like any woman just in general, deserves so much more than they get from their husbands sometimes.
00:47:44.239 --> 00:47:46.079
Like this guy's an actual piece of work.
00:47:46.239 --> 00:47:56.719
Everything changes when you fall pregnant, like everything, and we have to learn to adapt to that and include our partners in that new adaptation of us and our new selves and our new hormones.
00:47:56.880 --> 00:48:01.039
Our bodies change, and we need to adapt to be okay and to like our bodies.
00:48:01.199 --> 00:48:03.920
A lot of women don't like their bodies, and men.
00:48:04.159 --> 00:48:04.880
Do you know what I mean?
00:48:04.960 --> 00:48:06.800
Like, it's just it's so much adapting.
00:48:06.960 --> 00:48:16.480
We have to evolve and adapt all the time, and yet we take our partner with us on this new adaptation of ourselves, and hopefully, they join us on the journey.
00:48:16.639 --> 00:48:19.039
Some men just don't, yeah.
00:48:20.079 --> 00:48:27.360
They don't do the journey with us, and they just stay in their stay how they need to like they want to be then parented as well.
00:48:27.679 --> 00:48:31.280
Yeah, like how on earth is she supposed to keep house?
00:48:31.679 --> 00:48:38.880
How on earth is she supposed to keep the baby going and him going, and then also to get yelled at for not taking care of herself?
00:48:39.840 --> 00:48:41.119
It's just it's ridiculous.
00:48:41.280 --> 00:48:43.519
I couldn't imagine being with someone like that.
00:48:44.079 --> 00:48:46.320
Nah, I just hope she stays strong.
00:48:46.400 --> 00:48:52.079
I hope she stays strong and is like she gets his F out of there disgusted by himself anyway.
00:48:52.239 --> 00:49:00.559
She may as well like even if they like try to do couples counselling, I don't think he has anything to add to it.
00:49:01.199 --> 00:49:11.039
He like he's not doesn't sound like he's started out with she just needs to tap out, see you later.
00:49:11.280 --> 00:49:18.480
Can you imagine being in a room with your partner and you were that sick that you she's passed out?
00:49:18.559 --> 00:49:22.079
She said she doesn't remember anything, just waking up off the floor.
00:49:22.320 --> 00:49:23.599
The lights have all been turned.
00:49:23.920 --> 00:49:24.800
Can you imagine that?
00:49:24.960 --> 00:49:30.400
Waking up thinking, hang on a minute, how long have hey, how long have I been down here for?
00:49:30.559 --> 00:49:35.840
And then you wake up, turn the light on the kitchen, and all the meal that you prepare, it's all still there.
00:49:36.079 --> 00:49:38.400
Like he's done nothing in the kitchen.
00:49:38.880 --> 00:49:40.239
I just cannot believe that.
00:49:40.320 --> 00:49:46.639
I just cannot picture that happening in my household.
00:49:46.800 --> 00:49:50.000
I remember choking on a panodol once, you know, the dissolvable panodol.
00:49:50.320 --> 00:49:50.480
Yeah.
00:49:50.719 --> 00:49:50.960
Went down.
00:49:51.199 --> 00:49:51.679
I got choked.
00:49:51.840 --> 00:49:53.920
Your dad nearly had a fucking heart attack.
00:49:54.320 --> 00:49:58.800
And he didn't step around me, and then that was it.
00:49:59.119 --> 00:50:01.199
You know, like a bit of panic, mate.
00:50:01.599 --> 00:50:01.920
A bit of it.
00:50:05.199 --> 00:50:07.440
And I don't think anybody stepped over the top of it.
00:50:07.840 --> 00:50:08.960
I'll just okay.
00:50:10.000 --> 00:50:12.000
As you wear, Chloe, we'll just keep going.
00:50:12.239 --> 00:50:13.039
Nah, okay.
00:50:13.199 --> 00:50:15.679
Ah, I hope she updates us with that.
00:50:15.760 --> 00:50:17.679
She's got this new life with her.
00:50:18.000 --> 00:50:25.119
She didn't say that she's looking after a sister, but she said she had to take her sister to school and pick her up, so maybe sister stays with her for a little bit.
00:50:25.599 --> 00:50:27.920
But like you, your sister, and your baby.
00:50:28.239 --> 00:50:29.519
Get the hell out of the house.
00:50:29.679 --> 00:50:31.280
Or kick him out anyway.
00:50:31.519 --> 00:50:34.159
Yeah, kick him out.
00:50:35.039 --> 00:50:36.239
That's a no from me.
00:50:36.480 --> 00:50:37.840
Yeah, it's a no from me.
00:50:38.000 --> 00:50:42.239
I'm gonna put him in the am I the asshole category and say yes.
00:50:42.639 --> 00:50:43.199
Oh, hello.
00:50:43.599 --> 00:50:46.079
Hey yes, anyway, that's it for me.
00:50:46.239 --> 00:50:48.320
That's episode two, done and dusted.
00:50:48.480 --> 00:50:49.280
Yeah, episode two.
00:50:49.760 --> 00:50:53.760
Next week, I think we've got a pretty good one, too.
00:50:54.800 --> 00:50:58.960
And so that was relationships and relationship advice.
00:50:59.519 --> 00:50:59.840
Okay.
00:51:00.079 --> 00:51:01.199
How much time we got left?
00:51:01.360 --> 00:51:02.719
We've got any more time to chat.
00:51:03.280 --> 00:51:05.199
You're going on a holiday.
00:51:06.159 --> 00:51:07.440
I am we're going.
00:51:07.760 --> 00:51:08.719
Well, I've got to go now.
00:51:08.800 --> 00:51:14.079
I've got to start packing up the kids' stuff and my stuff and get ready to go camping.
00:51:14.159 --> 00:51:15.360
So that's what I'm excited.
00:51:15.440 --> 00:51:16.639
Get away for a few days.
00:51:16.880 --> 00:51:17.360
That's fine.
00:51:17.440 --> 00:51:18.159
It's gonna be good fun.
00:51:19.039 --> 00:51:22.800
I'm excited, but I think I can hear my baby in the background getting hungry.
00:51:23.039 --> 00:51:23.280
Yeah.
00:51:23.519 --> 00:51:24.320
She's just trying to start.
00:51:24.800 --> 00:51:25.440
Can you not?
00:51:25.599 --> 00:51:27.920
She's starting to you're watching this cliff.
00:51:28.000 --> 00:51:29.280
She's trying to crawl.
00:51:29.760 --> 00:51:30.719
She is tight.
00:51:30.800 --> 00:51:31.519
She's moving.
00:51:31.679 --> 00:51:33.280
Remember, you're only seven months old.
00:51:33.519 --> 00:51:34.960
She's face planting.
00:51:37.119 --> 00:51:38.880
All right, until next time, Chloe.
00:51:39.119 --> 00:51:39.920
Love you.
00:51:40.400 --> 00:51:41.360
Love you.
00:51:42.400 --> 00:51:42.960
All right.
00:51:43.199 --> 00:51:45.840
And that's today's dose of chaos on Mum's Gone Wild.
00:51:45.920 --> 00:51:48.079
Thanks for diving into Reddit's Madness with us.
00:51:48.239 --> 00:51:49.920
I'm Chloe and I'm Paula.
00:51:50.159 --> 00:51:55.840
Remember, we're not therapists, just two mums with zero filters and too many opinions.
00:51:56.079 --> 00:52:01.440
So subscribe, share, and send us your wilder stories because we're always ready to get unhinged.
00:52:01.679 --> 00:52:06.239
Until next week, stay sane or at least stay entertained.
00:52:06.559 --> 00:52:07.199
Bye.