Let's talk parenting, work and support | Let's Table It Ep 3

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What does success look like for us?
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It's not just a village raise a child.
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It takes everyone to support each other.
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One of my senior directors messaged me with the first word being, sorry.
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My child is sick.
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I need to take the day off.
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And my immediate response was, why did you say sorry?
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Welcome to Let's Table It.
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So I'm gonna go straight into it, right?
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Our total fertility rate is 0.87, and that's why PM Wong announced a whole suite of measures to better support Singaporeans who want children.
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So in this episode, we have Minister Inrani, Chair of the Marriage and Parenthood Reset Work Group, and William Shin, founder and CEO of Mummy's Market, and father to a 10-year-old girl.
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Minister William, thanks for joining us today.
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Minister, you've heard from Singaporeans uh about marriage and parenthood.
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So, what have they shared and you know how did it lead to the measures at NDR?
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This year's NDR announcements focus on one particular aspect.
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And this was the most immediate one, the feedback from parents who do have children, uh, and the things that you know are top of their list.
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So financial considerations, definitely.
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So you can see that some of the measures are aimed at that.
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Uh, the other is uh work-life balance, uh, because let's face it, if you're working and having children, uh, it is stressful.
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Time.
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Time is a very important currency.
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Uh, we've done a little bit on that with the shared parental leave in the previous two years, but the work group is working uh on this, so akandatang for that.
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Um, and then they also uh talked about child care, uh, infant care.
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So that's reflected in this year's uh measures as well.
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They talked about transport, which PM hinted.
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Uh he gave a hint of that, and he said, watch out for further announcements next year.
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Uh, and then also for housing, especially those just starting up and they need a house of their own for families.
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So PM did make an announcement at this NDR, uh, but um I think there's uh more to come.
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So, Minister, you know, there was this figure, right?
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$70,000.
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And a lot of times, like, you know, bringing a child is is more than just it's it's not just an Excel spreadsheet of numbers, yeah.
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Right?
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So I wanted to know um how did a work group arrive at this 70k figure?
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Okay.
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So you're right, it's not just about numbers.
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But if you speak to any of the young parents, and I'm sure that this is something you think about as well, they will tell you that additional financial support helps.
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How did we approach it?
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We decided that rather than try to add on incrementally to existing programs, we should restructure the whole thing.
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Correct.
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And it's been restructured into the SG Child Support Package.
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It starts from birth, but it goes all the way up to age 17.
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At birth, um the Singaporean child gets$10,000 payable in two tranches in the first year of birth.
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Then after that, from age one up to 16, every Singaporean child gets$2,000 per year.
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So it's$2,000 per child per year.
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It's intended to be effective from 2026.
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But because the system is not in place and up and running yet, payouts will actually be done in 2027.
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This basically means that, you know, if you have two children, then you get$4,000, three children, six, six thousand dollars.
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It will help with the household expenses.
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Yeah.
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Then the year that the child turns 17, we will do a$10,000 top-up into their post-secondary edupe account.
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Yeah.
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And this is really intended uh to help with their post-secondary education.
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So you can see that the measures are spread out across a child's life journey.
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And the idea is really to help the parents um with uh the cost and expense.
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So for you, William, you are a boss of an SME.
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You are a father to a 10-year-old, right?
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Well, which of these measures, right, um struck out the most to you?
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I think how before the policy measures came out, um previously, it felt more of an incentive to have a child.
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And that incentive didn't really perk me to have a child.
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But after all these new measures, it felt like it's a support system now.
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You're trying to help us throughout from pregnancy all the way to 17 years old.
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Oh, thank you for that because that was the intent.
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So it's so good to know that Flat she did receive that message.
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So it's it's signific it's pretty significant.
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I mean, I think everything is very relative the way you see it.
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If you see something as an absolute amount, um, they might feel, hey, it's just$2,000.
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So I think the entire measure, it really helped.
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Um, if you look at it in the right perspective, yeah, it really supports.
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So then that's like the father hat that you wear, right?
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But as a business owner, maybe you can share with us like, you know, what jumped out to you the most.
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Um from mommy's market.
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I founded mommy's market about 15 years ago.
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Um, what started off is just purely an exhibition with three people, the start off phase.
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Um, to what we have now is about 50 people, where we support 80 to 90 percent pregnant mums annually.
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The interesting thing is when we started a business, we just think, hey, how do you make the profits, right?
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Yeah, yeah.
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And most people think that.
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But as we started to serve more and more parents, it slowly transformed.
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And we felt like, okay, parenthood, good journey, challenging, but it's a good journey.
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Maybe if I could just jump in there because you you were asking him about how employers might think about this.
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And we did have employers like you specifically in mind when we worked on the measures, one of which was that government will pick up the tap for all parent-related needs.
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So do will that help you?
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Do you think?
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So we've been went through from the startup phase to SME phase, right?
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So startup phase, I said I had three people.
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Yeah.
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So yes, it picks up the tab, but when when you're at the startup phase, everyone does everything.
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There's no specific role.
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Marketing does sales, sales does design, perhaps, you know.
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That's where, you know, taking off the build, it helps, but it may be also be a challenge because you're one man down.
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Yeah, right.
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And then when you slowly progress to an SME, that's when you start putting systems in place, processes, roles.
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Right.
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Right?
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So when that comes, uh when you hit that SME and your systems and processes, it becomes easier.
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I was gonna ask you about backfilling, because I mean when somebody's uh they have to take time out for parental leave, right?
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What what do you think as as an employer we could do bit better to help with the backfilling?
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Because you need somebody who has the same skills.
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Could be either somebody in your company or you could pull from outside.
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But if you pull from outside, it needs to somebody who is familiar with your business.
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So do you have any ideas on how we can support?
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How Mummy's market does it.
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When I think about it, when someone goes on maternity leave, we have six months to prepare.
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Yeah.
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Because they tell us on first trimester, right?
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And and it's really how we look at the scope and write, how do we use technology to help assist in that scope to spread out the workload as a whole?
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Right.
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Right?
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Um, and because of the values that we have, people don't complain when your colleague goes on maternity six months.
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Um I think earlier on you mentioned like being one man down with childcare leave.
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It can be like, you know, my my daughter is sick today, I'm gonna have to take like two days off, right?
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And then I think it leaves a lot of um unmarried people, like singles like me, right?
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We are kind of expected to pick up the slack.
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And I mean, it is not that we are complaining per se, but it is a concern.
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Because what's your take on that?
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Have you received this feedback from your staff system?
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We don't get any of those feedback.
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Why?
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Because we value people based on the objectives that they achieve, right?
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So their role has an objective, they do this, they can take time off to do whatever, but just hit the objectives.
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You know, one thing to me that is really tricky, right, is that the government can say that yes, you know, I've got two kids, I get 10 days of leave.
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But you know, when you are actually working, it's not so easy to open your mouth and ask your boss.
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Just last week, uh, one of my senior directors messaged me with the first word being sorry.
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Yeah, yeah.
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My um, my child is sick, I need to take the day off.
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Then my immediate response was, Why did you say sorry?
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Right.
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Yeah, right.
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If your child is just something for you now.
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Go, right?
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And then she replied, it's because oh, I feel like things are lagging behind when I don't go to work.
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And then I assume most people will feel that way.
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And then they feel bad that people gotta pick up the slack and all that.
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Yeah.
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And then, you know, the next thing I told her is like, okay, if you feel that way, how about, you know, when you come back, let's see how we can fix that issue.
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Okay.
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So that that's interesting.
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I think if I can just wade in here.
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Because when we were doing some of the surveys, um, when we're preparing for this, we did find that many parents feel apologetic.
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Yeah.
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Um, they feel like they're imposing and they somehow, you know, they they feel a sense of responsibility and and they feel like they're letting the team down.
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But actually, if you think about it, family is important and you need time off, then you should take the time off.
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But this brings us back to the workplace.
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It does mean that we need to transform our workplaces to change from the places where it's a model of the past where everybody needs to be there for a specific time.
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And if you're taking time out, there's something wrong, and that's bad.
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Um, workplaces should be places where the company goals are clearly defined.
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Everybody signs up for that, but you also understand that every employee, including the boss, is a family member.
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Uh, I mean, but even if you're single, you still have parents.
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Correct.
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And you have some have siblings, you're still a family member, and there are others that you will have to take care of.
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So it means that the workplace of today and tomorrow has to plan on the assumption that any given point of time, somebody needs to take time out to do something urgent, which means that you need contingencies in place.
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So, to your question about, you know, singles and and the others, it's not just singles.
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There will be married couples with no kids who also may have to fill in.
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Yeah.
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And there will be married couples with kids who may have to fill in for colleagues at a particular point in time because at that time they're they're they're okay, their kids are a bit older, right?
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So it applies to everybody, which means that flexible work arrangements be really important.
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And people do need time off.
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Now that we have an aging society, even singles need to take time off to look after their parents, take them down for medical appointments or so on.
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So two ends of the spectrum.
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The fact that government is also helping to pick up the tab is useful because it means employers now have the option to use that money, which they they they can save, to pay others who are taking over the work or to get somebody from outside to come in.
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And but that's the tricky part because they need to have the right skill sets, they need to be familiar with the industry, especially if it's a specialized sector.
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So that's the part that we're looking at.
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And it cannot be just a matter of policy.
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This really has to be mindset change amongst employers as well as employees.
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Because from the employer's perspective, it's I don't mind provided you give me enough notice, which you can for planned stuff.
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Yeah.
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But for the childcare where it's at short notice, yeah, uh it if in order for that to work, you must have already got a system in place that assumes that you're going to have to take leave at short notice.
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Yeah.
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And I have a backup at my disposal.
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I think it might go down, go all the way up to the leadership, the mindset shift on that end.
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It's how we interact as a human.
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Right.
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Right?
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It's not a boss down to just stuff.
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It's not a top-down.
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It's caring about them, their lives, you know, understanding the difficulties that they're going through isn't just about the child.
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Sometimes you gotta take care of your parents.
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She I want to um draw on that point you were saying, like sometimes it's not just about the child, right?
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I think Mel and I we had a separate conversation, like just casually before this.
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Um I think you were saying that like a lot of the measures were very um for the baby, for my child.
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Yeah, I mean, like, what about so don't get me wrong, you know.
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For me, um motherhood has been so, so fulfilling.
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You know, I look at my two girls and they're just so amazing.
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But you know, for me, um, I mean, for me, when I I had my daughter, my older one, I actually had postpartum depression and I struggled with that.
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So, you know, I'm just wondering, like, what else is the work group doing to look at the whole journey of parenthood from like trying to conceive to like pregnancy and postpartum as well?
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Yeah.
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So that's a very valid point.
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The recent announcements really focused on the parents who already have children.
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But the work group is also looking at a few other work streams.
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Workplace norms and practices is huge piece of work.
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That's one.
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But we're also looking at fertility because we do have a lot of feedback from couples who have been trying very hard and have not been able to conceive yet.
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Yeah.
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Um, they have they are going for treatment, whether it's IVF, ART, but they tell us that cost is uh is a factor.
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Yeah.
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Um, there is a direct correlation between age uh and fertility, and we would like uh Singaporeans to be more aware of that.
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So heightening awareness is something that the work stream is looking at.
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So fertility is one another big piece.
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Then following onto that, uh maternal health.
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Yeah.
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And that this will include uh the post-delivery.
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Um and we're also working, uh looking at a few other things like competitive stress in education, and and also we will come to that later maybe, uh, for singles and opportunities to meet.
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Actually, I did want to bring this up, right?
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So as a person who is in her 30s and still single, right?
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Um, I think for myself and a lot of my peers, we have um, I guess the mindset that we have towards like what it means to settle down is probably a bit different from um when when someone is younger.
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What is settling down?
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Tell us how what that singles think about this.
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At this stage, a lot of us feel like what there is no incentive.
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Yeah, we're fine on our own.
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So I just wanted to ask, right, when when the work group um speaks to people, when you speak to parents, I mean there's a certain set of uh conclusions.
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But when you speak to singles, right, is the contrast wider?
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It's not more divisive, but there is a range of views.
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All right.
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Uh it ranges from, and I recently had a dialogue session over the weekend, and this was an interesting question because her question was um uh what would be the purpose of getting married?
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Precisely, that's my point.
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It's like um, what would be the advantage of that?
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Uh over the thing.
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Yeah, yeah.
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So that that is one perspective.
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Yeah.
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But at that at another dialogue which I had, a young guy came up to me and uh his perspective was that we would really like to meet other people, but don't have the opportunity, or it it's it's hard.
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And I I think that that's been quite a common refrain amongst young people that in school you have your networks and your group of friends.
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But once you start to work, depending on your workplace, they feel isolated uh and think they go out a lot less.
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Uh then there's the whole digital part where your apps.
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Not just dating apps, but your best friend is actually your digital friend, uh, whether it's GPT or something.
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Yeah.
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So I have so sorry.
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I have so many thoughts, yeah.
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They are in their early 20s, 25s.
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Yeah.
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We ask them what they do on weekend.
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Yeah.
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Yes, yes.
00:15:34.960 --> 00:15:35.279
But twenty.
00:15:35.600 --> 00:15:37.759
Sometimes it's important to decompress also, you know, right?
00:15:38.000 --> 00:15:39.360
Decompressing is important.
00:15:39.759 --> 00:15:43.039
But uh being able to meet and connect with other people.
00:15:43.759 --> 00:15:45.360
So you've got these three three groups, right?
00:15:45.440 --> 00:15:49.120
What the one that like, why yeah, uh, why do I even need to do this?
00:15:49.360 --> 00:15:49.440
Yeah.
00:15:49.600 --> 00:15:53.919
Uh then there's the the other group which I would like, but but how, but how, right?
00:15:54.720 --> 00:15:57.519
And then there's the uh I'm watching Netflix, don't disturb.
00:15:58.240 --> 00:16:10.320
But I think one of the things that we would like to be able to do is recognizing that's a personal decision, yeah, and recognizing that's entirely your choice, uh, at the same time create opportunities for people to meet.
00:16:10.480 --> 00:16:14.000
Because if you think about it at the end of the day, what is human life about?
00:16:14.399 --> 00:16:16.879
It is about being able to interact with other people.
00:16:17.440 --> 00:16:26.240
And for those who are uh fortunate enough to meet their life partner and get married, I think the key thing there is companionship.
00:16:26.399 --> 00:16:30.639
You have somebody who you can confide in, somebody who has your back no matter what.
00:16:30.799 --> 00:16:36.559
You know that that person supports you through life, somebody that you can have children with and have a life together.
00:16:36.799 --> 00:16:41.759
And the married couples that I've spoken to who have that say that they wouldn't trade it for anything else.
00:16:41.840 --> 00:16:47.519
Yeah, even though that they they may have had some, you know, uh challenges and so on, but it it's still worth it.
00:16:47.759 --> 00:16:48.000
Right.
00:16:48.159 --> 00:16:50.639
That's a beautiful manifestation line right there.
00:16:50.799 --> 00:16:55.360
I'll go home and then just someone who supports me, a good companion.
00:16:55.519 --> 00:16:58.480
I mean, you mentioned that you know you want to create more opportunities for that, right?
00:16:58.639 --> 00:17:01.120
So, what is the work group like gonna do?
00:17:01.440 --> 00:17:07.119
Well, I certainly don't want to have a heavy-handed uh didactic approach, thou shalt meet and marry.
00:17:07.759 --> 00:17:08.880
I don't think that's gonna work.
00:17:10.160 --> 00:17:12.960
Yeah, if only it was that then we can just legislate.
00:17:13.200 --> 00:17:16.720
I think we also need to think about single parent families, right?
00:17:16.960 --> 00:17:22.000
These measures, you know, is that something that the work group has been c considering?
00:17:22.160 --> 00:17:26.079
Or did you do you speak to single parent families and like how we can better support them?
00:17:26.400 --> 00:17:33.279
We have spoken to them, and that that is the reason why we have also changed the approach.
00:17:33.680 --> 00:17:39.519
You picked up on that very acutely just now, uh, when you said that it's changed from incentive to support.
00:17:40.000 --> 00:17:45.599
I think everybody can get behind the idea that a child when born needs support.
00:17:45.839 --> 00:17:50.640
So with the new child support package, it applies to all Singaporean children.
00:17:50.799 --> 00:17:51.039
Okay.
00:17:51.200 --> 00:17:54.240
Uh irrespective of the marital status of the parents.
00:17:54.319 --> 00:17:54.559
Okay.
00:17:54.799 --> 00:18:02.480
Because we recognize that every child, if you want that that child to be able to grow up well, healthy, but needs support.
00:18:02.720 --> 00:18:04.960
And so that's that's one big change.
00:18:05.119 --> 00:18:13.759
So the SG support package does apply, but whether it's single and wed mothers or or whether it is to divorcees or so on.
00:18:13.839 --> 00:18:14.000
Yeah.
00:18:14.160 --> 00:18:18.799
It means that the 2,000 per child per year also applies to this group.
00:18:19.279 --> 00:18:30.079
Um and everything else that we do about having a supportive community, yeah, uh, including uh workplace norms and practices, will apply to this this group of mothers as well.
00:18:30.400 --> 00:18:37.039
As a father, do you think um the measures that we have for like society as a whole, does it support um your fatherly duties?
00:18:37.359 --> 00:18:38.960
Oh, for sure, for sure.
00:18:39.119 --> 00:18:42.960
Um, you know, any support that comes uh definitely helps.
00:18:43.119 --> 00:18:47.279
Um it takes a lot of pressure off um a lot of families.
00:18:47.440 --> 00:18:49.839
You think about the infant care, the childcare, right?
00:18:49.920 --> 00:18:51.759
You're cutting it down to like$150.
00:18:52.720 --> 00:18:57.200
$300 from from$150 for childcare and$300 per month for infant care.
00:18:57.839 --> 00:19:05.279
Okay, now that we've already discussed like all the measures, I just want to know with this new work group and all these new um things that we're gonna implement, right?
00:19:05.599 --> 00:19:07.279
What does success look like for us?
00:19:07.440 --> 00:19:14.160
So I think for South Korea, I think in over the last few years, they've adopted very similar measures to how we're doing it in Singapore.
00:19:14.400 --> 00:19:20.319
Their TFR went up to 0.8, um, which is an increase from three years ago when it was about 0.72.
00:19:20.799 --> 00:19:25.279
I think it would be measured by a whole series of different things.
00:19:25.839 --> 00:19:42.480
Uh first and most important, I think I would measure success by do parents or do young Singaporeans who want to have children feel that they are now uh more supported and feel more confident and assured in uh getting married and having children?
00:19:42.799 --> 00:19:44.240
So that's number one.
00:19:44.640 --> 00:19:50.559
Um number two is will our workplaces become more family friendly?
00:19:51.039 --> 00:19:57.920
Do people feel that they are able to take their childcare and their parental leave without feeling guilty?
00:19:58.160 --> 00:20:11.359
Have the bosses uh planned the workplace in a way where taking time off for caregiving is considered normal HR practice and you're prepared for it.
00:20:11.599 --> 00:20:19.920
And where your middle management doesn't sort of frown at you and give you this like again, why you know, why is it everybody in your family always falling ill?
00:20:20.079 --> 00:20:24.480
Where you don't get that kind of look, and where it's more like, oh, is it is it?
00:20:24.559 --> 00:20:25.759
Then you better take that time off.
00:20:25.839 --> 00:20:27.119
Don't worry, we've got it covered.
00:20:27.200 --> 00:20:27.440
Yep.
00:20:27.599 --> 00:20:45.039
And third, I think where the whole of society pitches in, where even your your your neighbor is is helpful, you know, for you need to pop out for a short while, just send the kids over, we'll look after them whilst you're out, just being supportive, and then of course looking to see at the TFR figures if they increase.
00:20:45.279 --> 00:20:47.599
So, Minister, is there a timeline that we're looking at?
00:20:47.839 --> 00:20:52.960
We don't have a timeline for the simple reason that this involves life decisions and involves people.
00:20:53.359 --> 00:20:54.799
Um, it takes time.
00:20:54.960 --> 00:21:03.359
Uh, Tokyo has recently seen uh a reversal in their TFR, and uh the lady who was in charge was talking about it.
00:21:03.519 --> 00:21:03.839
Yes.
00:21:04.079 --> 00:21:09.359
But the stuff that she's been doing, she she started on that journey 10 years ago.
00:21:09.519 --> 00:21:14.720
Yeah, it took her 10 years to reach this, you know, what she would consider success.
00:21:14.880 --> 00:21:15.119
Yeah.
00:21:15.359 --> 00:21:18.960
Um I'm hope I'm hoping it won't take us 10 years, fingers crossed.
00:21:19.119 --> 00:21:23.839
Um, but I don't think you can you can count it in terms of specific deadlines.
00:21:24.160 --> 00:21:28.079
For a business owner, what does success look like to you?
00:21:28.400 --> 00:21:35.039
For mommy's market, I'm I'm pretty happy with the team and the way that we're the culture that we've built so far.
00:21:35.279 --> 00:21:35.440
Yeah.
00:21:36.160 --> 00:21:42.480
Hopefully in the future, people just don't feel bad or say sorry when they apply for child care leave.
00:21:42.880 --> 00:21:49.440
But end of the day, we're very happy with the company right now, the culture, how everybody works together.
00:21:49.599 --> 00:21:51.759
You know, I've got your back if you want to leave.
00:21:52.000 --> 00:21:52.160
Yeah.
00:21:52.240 --> 00:21:53.359
Okay, we're gonna have to learn from you.
00:21:53.440 --> 00:21:58.799
Minister, you mentioned about like, you know, if you knew you pop out for a while, you can ask your neighbor to watch your kids and things like that.
00:21:58.880 --> 00:21:59.839
And make me think of this thing.
00:22:00.240 --> 00:22:02.880
That, like, you know, it takes a village to raise a child, right?
00:22:02.960 --> 00:22:05.039
It's not just a village to raise a child.
00:22:05.279 --> 00:22:08.319
It takes everyone to support each other.
00:22:08.480 --> 00:22:11.119
And that is fundamentally the idea behind We First.
00:22:11.359 --> 00:22:15.200
It's basically that as Singaporeans, we look out for each other and we help each other.
00:22:15.359 --> 00:22:18.079
Whether you're married with kids or whether you're single, right?
00:22:18.319 --> 00:22:23.839
We just should be able to cheer each other on, uh, have each other's backs and make sure that we all do well together.
00:22:24.160 --> 00:22:26.079
Actually, my neighbors do do that with my father.
00:22:26.240 --> 00:22:27.599
My father's a retired old man, right?
00:22:27.680 --> 00:22:29.599
Sometimes he'll just drop off the three kids at my house.
00:22:29.680 --> 00:22:30.880
I'll come home to Azula.
00:22:32.160 --> 00:22:34.079
It really does take a whole kampong for that.
00:22:34.559 --> 00:22:38.720
Yeah, I was just thinking just now, you were saying, you know, 30 years old, what's the point of getting married?
00:22:39.119 --> 00:22:39.200
No.
00:22:39.519 --> 00:22:41.039
Well, am I gonna be a good father?
00:22:41.200 --> 00:22:41.359
Yeah.
00:22:41.519 --> 00:22:42.720
Do I want kids?
00:22:42.880 --> 00:22:43.279
You know?
00:22:43.920 --> 00:22:46.400
I I went for all that career first.
00:22:46.720 --> 00:22:46.960
Yeah.
00:22:47.200 --> 00:22:49.440
But got married, and my wife wanted to.
00:22:52.720 --> 00:22:55.200
My fear was am I gonna be a good dad?
00:22:55.359 --> 00:22:55.759
Yeah.
00:22:56.000 --> 00:22:57.519
You know, I've I've never done it before.
00:22:57.599 --> 00:23:02.480
Even until today, I would tell my daughter, hey, this is the first time being a dad.
00:23:02.640 --> 00:23:03.680
I will make mistakes.
00:23:03.759 --> 00:23:04.079
Yeah.
00:23:04.240 --> 00:23:04.400
Right?
00:23:04.480 --> 00:23:05.519
But I'll own up to it.
00:23:05.599 --> 00:23:05.680
Yeah.
00:23:05.839 --> 00:23:07.759
And we learn and grow together.
00:23:08.000 --> 00:23:09.359
What did your daughter say?
00:23:09.680 --> 00:23:11.359
He goes, Oh, sure.
00:23:12.400 --> 00:23:13.279
She's 10.
00:23:13.839 --> 00:23:15.920
Okay, well, it looks like she's got it covered.
00:23:16.160 --> 00:23:16.319
Right.
00:23:16.480 --> 00:23:18.240
She knows I'm the bad cop, you know, good cop.
00:23:18.559 --> 00:23:19.119
No cop, right.
00:23:19.279 --> 00:23:19.680
And all that.
00:23:19.839 --> 00:23:23.920
But what what what I'm saying is I didn't know the pleasures of being a father.
00:23:24.160 --> 00:23:25.839
Until you until I became a father.
00:23:26.559 --> 00:23:26.880
Right.
00:23:27.039 --> 00:23:35.759
Um, I mean, I've been on interviews, radio interviews before, and one question that was posed to me that stuck out was you know, um, you've got mommy's muck and all that.
00:23:35.920 --> 00:23:38.319
Do you have any regrets in in life?
00:23:38.480 --> 00:23:42.799
And I go, my biggest regret is that I had my daughter at 36.
00:23:42.960 --> 00:23:43.279
Right.
00:23:43.599 --> 00:23:45.440
I wish I had her earlier.
00:23:46.079 --> 00:23:49.440
Or I'll spend much more time with her.
00:23:49.599 --> 00:23:49.920
Yeah.
00:23:50.079 --> 00:23:55.119
Right now I go to the gym often, I need to keep the muscles going so I can play, go to the playground, you know, with her.
00:23:55.359 --> 00:24:00.400
Um, and and I want to see her when she's 30, 40, 50, hopefully.
00:24:00.640 --> 00:24:00.880
Yeah.
00:24:01.119 --> 00:24:08.880
And never would I would I have thought when my daughter 10 years ago came home for the first time from hospital.
00:24:09.039 --> 00:24:09.200
Yeah.
00:24:09.519 --> 00:24:14.240
I could actually just carry her and just stare at her for 30 minutes.
00:24:14.640 --> 00:24:15.920
Just staring at her.
00:24:16.079 --> 00:24:18.160
And I thought I knew what true love was.
00:24:18.400 --> 00:24:20.880
Until until I had my daughter.
00:24:21.039 --> 00:24:22.079
That is true love.
00:24:22.400 --> 00:24:30.319
Yeah, and that's interesting because I had a dialogue session and the married couples with kids were telling us that they have a wonderful relationship when they're married before the kid comes.
00:24:30.480 --> 00:24:32.720
When the kid comes, things do change.
00:24:32.799 --> 00:24:32.960
Yes.
00:24:33.119 --> 00:24:35.359
And that's an adjustment that they need to make.
00:24:35.680 --> 00:24:39.039
Uh it's it's not to say whether bad or anything, it's just different.
00:24:39.359 --> 00:24:39.440
Yeah.
00:24:39.599 --> 00:24:42.319
Um, and that's something that we should remember, I think.
00:24:42.480 --> 00:24:47.039
Because if you're not prepared for that, then sometimes one parent can feel a bit displaced.
00:24:47.440 --> 00:24:50.559
But if you're ready for that and it's like the the next stage, right?
00:24:50.640 --> 00:24:53.039
You enter a new stage of the marital life.
00:24:53.200 --> 00:24:56.799
And uh those who manage to get it right say that it's very fulfilling.
00:24:57.200 --> 00:24:58.880
And the Chinese saying goes, right?
00:25:00.559 --> 00:25:02.799
This is precisely how last week.
00:25:03.119 --> 00:25:04.319
Explain it, explain it, Prophet.
00:25:06.000 --> 00:25:10.079
In English is uh have family and then focus on your career.
00:25:10.240 --> 00:25:13.039
That was how it was in Chinese traditions long time ago.
00:25:14.640 --> 00:25:15.519
There's a reason for it.
00:25:15.680 --> 00:25:16.799
I mean things have changed now.
00:25:16.880 --> 00:25:21.359
A lot of people are thinking li yeah, which is the opposite, career first and then family.
00:25:21.680 --> 00:25:32.799
But why in ancient times do people say family first and then it's because when you build a family, the responsibilities you feel, right?
00:25:33.440 --> 00:25:40.160
The amount of things that your child teaches you transforms you as a person when you have a family, when you have a child.
00:25:40.400 --> 00:25:50.400
So I think like just as how the mindset shift went from chang to I'm trying my best.
00:25:51.519 --> 00:25:58.559
That mindset shift also, that's also another now in this generation, we're also still trying to uh encourage another mindset shift, right?
00:25:58.720 --> 00:26:06.079
Um hopefully I'll get then the next time I speak to me from a different group of uh audience already, target group already.
00:26:06.240 --> 00:26:08.319
I think that's a perfect note to end on, right?
00:26:08.480 --> 00:26:12.240
Remember, guys, the work group is still listening, so keep your feedback coming in.
00:26:12.400 --> 00:26:13.839
This has been Let's Table It.
00:26:14.160 --> 00:26:15.599
Remember to like, share, and subscribe.
00:26:15.680 --> 00:26:17.039
And we'll see you on the next episode.
00:26:17.279 --> 00:26:17.759
Thanks, baby.
00:26:17.920 --> 00:26:18.480
Thanks for having us.
00:26:18.640 --> 00:26:19.279
Thanks for joining us.
00:26:19.440 --> 00:26:19.839
Thank you.