Why We Keep Repeating Unhealthy Patterns with Elaine Starling

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There's a moment most people miss.
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The moment before the reaction.
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Whether it shows up as overworking, overthinking, or reaching for something outside ourselves, that moment is where everything can change.
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But most of us don't even realize we've left ourselves in it.
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And today we're talking about what it looks like to come back.
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I'm really looking forward to this conversation today.
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Joining me is Elaine Starling, known as the Abundance Ambassador and founder of the Abundance Journey.
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Elaine is the creator of the Alignment Code and a powerful framework that helps spiritually aware, high-achieving women stabilize their inner world so their outer success actually reflects who they truly are.
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Blending spiritual alignment, nervous system coherence, and conscious execution.
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She guides women to recognize misalignment, recenter quickly, and create from flow instead of force.
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Through her inner power protocol and her five powers of abundance, she helps women step into sovereign leadership, expand without burnout, and build success that actually feels meaningful.
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Elaine, welcome to the show.
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I'm so glad you're here.
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I am thrilled to be here, Pam, and you and I have had so many laughs just getting started.
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I think this is going to be a giggle fest, honestly.
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I mean, we have so much in common.
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There's so many similarities.
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I'm having the best time ever, and we haven't even said very much yet.
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So we're off to a great start.
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Well, it's the end of the day, it's like late afternoon, and you know, we just kind of start relaxing.
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Yeah.
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But before we go into your amazing message, I would love to find out where you are right now and what's been most present in your life or your work lately.
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And what are you most passionate about right now?
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Well, I have a very different kind of background than a lot of people do, Pam.
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I was blessed on New Year's Day 2005 to have a stroke.
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And I always say blessed because during my stroke, I got to have a conversation with my higher power.
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And I got a complete download about how everything works, why we're alive, how we can live our best life, and what happens next after this life.
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It's a graduation, it's not an ending, it's really nothing to worry about.
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And I was told at the end of my stroke to share everything that I'd learned and that they would continue to help me to explain how things work.
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And so to this day, I get divine downloads all the time.
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And my mission is to help people understand just how incredibly powerful and amazing they truly are.
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So I want to share one of the divine downloads that came through because it was really, really amazing.
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Yes.
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I was in my kitchen, I'm doing dishes, and I was just kind of musing over how, you know, sometimes you're working on a project and it's really easy.
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It's no big deal, it's a breeze, no big deal.
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And then other times you're working on something and it is a freaking slug.
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I mean, it doesn't matter what you do, everything goes wrong and is just a mess from beginning to end.
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And I was wondering why that happens.
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And I immediately felt and heard a very loud, forceful voice in my body that said, When you deny your power, your power is denied to you.
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When you acknowledge your power, your power is shown to you.
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You are more powerful than you can imagine.
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I was like, and I've dry my hands off and I write it down.
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I'm like, I've been a I've been denying my power.
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What am I doing to deny my power?
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I won't do that anymore.
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What am I doing?
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And I realize sometimes the words we use, we don't really think about them.
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They're just, you know, they're just the throwaway words that we use, and we don't realize that they subtly undermine our power.
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So I have been teaching myself not to say things like, I want, which leaves me wanting, or I need, which makes me needy, or I will try, which is very trying.
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Instead, I choose, I intend, I am.
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And you can feel an energetic difference, right?
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Yes.
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You can feel the difference in those words.
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So yeah, I continue to get divine downloads, and my mission truly is to reconnect people with their inner power.
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You are the embodiment of the divine, and the divine is flowing through you.
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And the better you are at aligning with that, the easier it is for the divine to flow through you, and the more fun you have, the more ease and grace you experience in your life.
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Wow.
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I have goosebumps.
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So powerful and incredibly accurate because sometimes I'll have guests on and I catch myself saying, Oh, it's just uh 10 people that liked my show or something like that.
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And and they'll correct me and they'll say, What do you mean it's just?
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That's great, Pam.
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You should feel very happy about that.
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But I I find myself with using the words that can take away from something so easily.
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You know, everything that you speak, you create.
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You know, the your word is your wand.
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You've heard that expression before.
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Yes.
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It's really true.
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The thoughts that are going through your mind and the words that come out of your mouth.
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Imagine it's like a carpet, like a red carpet that you're rolling out in front of yourself and you're kicking it with every word.
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You kick it out in front of you, and that's what you step into.
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So when you choose to step into the carpet of gratitude, things are very different than when you step into a carpet of whack.
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That's incredible.
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That's like um the subtle disconnection that happens underneath everything we're we're doing because we don't really put two and two together.
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Yeah.
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What uh we think is like intuition or just a wishful thought is really like you said, the divine is just trying to get a message.
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And I will say you're a vessel, Elaine.
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You are a vessel.
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And that's why you are gifted at at helping people feel comfortable.
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And when you speak, people listen.
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Because not everyone listens when we speak.
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Well, it's what we're uh willing to receive.
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Yes.
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And often we get in the habit of giving.
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And we feel really comfortable giving.
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And we're especially women who if you've got kids and you've got a husband, and you've got responsibilities, you've got a job, you've got parents that you're helping, and friends you're helping, and you're always helping, right?
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And so it feels really good to give because you know how to give.
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And so you give, give, give, give, give, and you forget about the receiving part.
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Yes.
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And it you don't complete the loop if you're not willing to receive.
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It's like trying to live by only exhaling and never inhaling.
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And that's kind of hard to do.
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You run out real quick.
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Yeah.
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And and too, someone reminded me once because I'm I am a giver, and it has a lot to do with the way I grew up.
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I think it's just my security.
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It's my way of making sure everyone loves me so they don't leave me, abandon me, not like me.
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And, you know, I've been to like, I don't know, 10 years of counseling, and I finally said, Oh, now I get it.
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Because it's exhausting.
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And mostly women, I read something the other day, you might, you may already know this, but over 70% of women suffer from quiet depletion, which is when they look fine on the outside and they're doing all the things, checking all the boxes, but they're exhausted and depleted on the inside so much that they don't even remember or know who they are anymore.
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And so I don't know if you've ever heard of that, but quiet depletion is a biggie.
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I I'm not surprised.
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I'm not surprised.
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Yeah.
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Because we set very, very high standards for ourselves, which on the one hand is a good thing.
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And on the other hand, if it's unrealistic and it's unnecessary, and yet you hold yourself to such a high standard, and then you beat yourself up when you can't achieve something that's unrealistic and inappropriate anyway, you're setting yourself up for failure.
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So it's really understanding what is the role and the goal.
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One of the divine messages that I received recently is everything you experience in your life is guiding you to increase your capacity to witness, experience, and express more love.
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Everything.
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So the challenges, the frustrations, the the uh horrible things that you have had to cope with in your life, they are still there to empower you, to discover your own power, to step into your own truth, to choose love when you could choose fear, when you could choose to hide under the bed instead.
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And yet you step up, you step out, and you choose.
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Here's a key thing that I really believe in.
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The most powerful state you can be in is the state of grateful curiosity.
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Grateful curiosity.
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You don't know what's coming, you don't know what's going to happen, but you're open to experiencing the blessings in the moment.
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It's kind of like the difference between tunnel vision, like when I really got to get stuff done and I've got an urgent deadline and I'm freaking out about ah, so I block out everything else so I can just do this one thing.
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Yeah.
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Well, when I step into grateful curiosity, it opens up my peripheral vision.
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And now all of a sudden, I can just witness all the blessings that are here for me, and I'm willing to receive them.
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It's like being in a giant surprise party.
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There's blessings all around, and I just get to open these wonderful packages.
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You're speaking my language.
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I have one book out there published.
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It is a bestseller, and I'm really proud of it.
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It's a memoir, but the mantra of the book is your past doesn't define you, it prepares you.
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And I am, I believe wholeheartedly in using pain for purpose.
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And so you are, you are speaking my kind of language.
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I knew we were gonna hit it off.
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Absolutely.
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So let's get back to let's let's back up a little bit about disconnection and patterns.
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Um, two of my favorite subjects to research.
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I I'm so fascinated with the brain and why we do what we do when we know better.
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We know we shouldn't do something, but we still do it.
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And that's related to uh binging.
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And binging is not just food.
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Binging is overworking, over pleasing, overeating, overdrinking, all the things we do in excess that are unhealthy for us.
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And why?
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We know better.
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We know it's gonna it's not gonna serve us, but we still do it.
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And so, you know, we teach the pause here, which will give you a moment to stop, hopefully stop, just just think about why I am about to do this thing that's not good for me.
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What's really going on?
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And I was just once was wondering what your take is on binging.
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Absolutely.
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The experience that I've had both personally and professionally with my clients is we really crave feeling supported and loved.
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We really do.
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We want comfort, we want ease, we want grace.
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And often if we don't feel that we can get it from someone else, we do the best we can to give it to ourselves.
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And we tend to choose the easiest, fastest, shortest path to happiness, which is the cookie, which is the glass of wine, which is the shopping, which is the, you know, whatever vice you choose.
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Um, yeah, I recently I read a lot of books.
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I read four or five books a week because they are how I relax and I read very quickly.
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And I happen to come upon an author that I really like, a brand new author.
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And she has this series of books.
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And the brilliant thing is the next book picks up like a week or two after the previous book.
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So you don't lose anything, right?
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Yeah, you jump right, and it's like a serial.
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And I'm so hooked.
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I was like putting off doing things that I need to do for work and things like oh, I gotta read the book, right?
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Like scrolling.
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Yeah, even though I know better, even though I know the world will not end if I take a pause, right?
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We get into this zone where we feel like I need this.
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And in reality, all we need is to notice the breath.
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Just notice your breath for a moment.
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Because often what happens is we're so busy out there with all the external stimulus, the news, the noise, the nonsense that's going on everywhere.
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And we forget ourselves.
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We lose track of us.
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So when you can just notice your breath, it brings you right back into the body.
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And the interesting thing is the conscious mind controls about 5% of the decisions you make every day.
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Your subconscious mind controls 95% of the decisions you make every day.
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And your mind is convinced it's in charge.
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Yeah, no, it's not.
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Your mind can say, we're never gonna eat a cookie again.
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And your subconscious mind, which is actually your entire body, which has stored old pain in the past and recognizes, you know, a cookie makes you feel better, and you're really in a bad mood right now.
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So a cookie will make everything better.
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Yeah, you call that the lower brain chatter, because it's the lower brain's like the caveman, it just wants to protect you, but yeah, it's that's the only purpose.
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No, yeah, but it does, it's not very effective, it's not an effective way of helping you.
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I find that the best way to nourish yourself is with gratitude.
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You know, take a glass of water, enjoy a great glass of water.
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It's funny, I am in a rural area and I'm on a well, and I had my dexascan bone density test done.
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And then a year later, they do the bone density test again, and they said, it's improved.
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And I was like, It's my hard water.
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Oh, it finally came in handy for something.
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Yes, you're getting calcium somehow.
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Oh my gosh.
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That's incredible.
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We need to listen to our bodies.
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Our bodies are an incredible machine.
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The brain, the heart.
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But there's a lot, like you said, there's a lot more to the body than just the brain and the heart.
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There's the soul, your spiritual well-being, all those things that are there for a reason.
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If you just pay attention, if you continue to block it out, then how can you ever grow from it?
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Right.
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Very true.
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Well, people don't consciously behave with bad patterns.
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It's just what they've learned over time.
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Mm-hmm.
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Well, I wanted to share uh something from a book that I read that I thought was really, really powerful.
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And the book is called A Happy Little Pocket Full of Money.
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A Happy Little Pocket Full of Money.
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Great book.
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It's written by two authors, and they spend an entire chapter on something called I am goals.
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It's I am and then fill in the blank.
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I am goals.
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And intuitively, it just made a lot of sense to me.
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I was like, you know, it just it this really resonates with me.
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But I'm also a human being.
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And so there was this part of me going, geez, I wish there was an example of this in my life that I could look at and say, it really works.
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These I am goals really work.
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And then I got this blinding flash of the obvious about a conversation that I had with my then boyfriend, now husband, several times over the years.
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And it sounds something like this.
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Darling, I am so happy and grateful that I get to share life with you.
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I am more in love with you every single day.
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You know, I can't always hear you, but when I can, you expand my world.
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I am so grateful you're in my life and that you help me experience things that I would never experience any other way.
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I'm so in love with you and so grateful you're in my life.
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Now, we are more in love every single day.
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We've only been together for 46 years now.
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And how often do you speak to yourself that way?
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Oh not often.
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Not often enough.
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Yeah.
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We we're we're hard on ourselves.
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Very.
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You would never say what you say to yourself to a friend or even somebody you don't know.
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I mean, it's an unconscionably rude, the things that you say to yourself.
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And there's one person that you just wish would believe in you, would support you, would encourage you, would root for you.
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And that person looks at you in the mirror every single day.
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So talk to that person, tell them how much you love them, tell them what a great job they're doing.
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Tell them the progress they're making.
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You know, one of the things that I started doing, boy, eight or nine years ago, I have um an I have an abundance buddy that I work with.
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And um, every Monday through Friday, we send each other an email.
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And the email celebrates what I accomplished the day before over the weekend, and what I'm celebrating in advance that I'm going to get done today.
00:18:55.200 --> 00:18:58.000
And then life happens and things are different, right?
00:18:58.240 --> 00:19:02.000
So I send her my email and she sends me her email.
00:19:02.160 --> 00:19:04.960
Well, she's brilliant, she's doing all these amazing things.
00:19:05.119 --> 00:19:19.039
So I reply back to her email with each, every line, and I share resources and congratulate her on her progress and point out all of her accomplishments and her achievements and how proud I am of her and what an amazing person she is.
00:19:19.119 --> 00:19:23.680
And it pumps me up because I'm associated with this outstanding woman.
00:19:23.920 --> 00:19:28.400
And then she sends back an email to me raving about me.
00:19:28.720 --> 00:19:29.759
Oh gosh.
00:19:30.000 --> 00:19:32.319
And I'm like, that's incredible.
00:19:32.640 --> 00:19:36.400
I actually started this exercise when my parents were still alive.
00:19:36.640 --> 00:19:41.440
And I would beat myself up all the time over not getting enough done in my business.
00:19:41.599 --> 00:19:51.759
And when I started tracking where my time actually went, a lot of it was taking my parents to hospitals or to doctor visits and spending time with them.
00:19:51.920 --> 00:19:54.559
And that was precious quality time.
00:19:54.640 --> 00:19:57.680
And that's exactly what I wanted to use my time for.
00:19:58.079 --> 00:20:06.400
The business things were not nearly as important to me as nourishing this relationship and this time that I would never get to have again.
00:20:06.720 --> 00:20:13.279
And I couldn't see it until I saw it in writing through what I call my daily celebration.
00:20:15.119 --> 00:20:16.720
Are we talking about journaling?
00:20:16.880 --> 00:20:18.640
Because I'm a huge advocate for it.
00:20:18.880 --> 00:20:19.599
Me too.
00:20:19.839 --> 00:20:20.799
It saved my life.
00:20:21.039 --> 00:20:27.920
Do you know that my book is every few chapters are my raw journal notes from therapy, showing the brokenness.
00:20:28.079 --> 00:20:31.599
And then every and the few chapters after are is what caused it.
00:20:31.759 --> 00:20:35.119
And then you can see where I'm slowly healing through therapy.
00:20:35.279 --> 00:20:37.039
And as I find myself.
00:20:37.359 --> 00:20:40.240
But I love, I still journal to this day every single day.
00:20:40.319 --> 00:20:42.720
I it helps me dump everything out of my brain.
00:20:42.880 --> 00:20:44.160
I call it the brain dump.
00:20:44.400 --> 00:20:48.000
Yeah, and it's so important because you don't realize all the stuff that's going on in your head.
00:20:48.240 --> 00:20:50.799
And your mind is really trying to serve you.
00:20:51.039 --> 00:20:57.759
And so when you find your thoughts spinning, it's because your mind is trying to remind you so you don't forget something.
00:20:58.000 --> 00:21:02.640
It's just it's repeating, repeating, repeating because you don't want anything to fall through the cracks.
00:21:02.960 --> 00:21:09.200
When you take the time to stop and journal and write it all down, your mind goes, Oh, she's paying attention.
00:21:09.359 --> 00:21:11.039
She's doing something.
00:21:11.359 --> 00:21:14.400
Okay, I don't have to yell quite as loud.
00:21:15.039 --> 00:21:20.000
And it really does help calm the mind and reduce the mind chatter.
00:21:20.160 --> 00:21:20.319
Yes.
00:21:20.480 --> 00:21:22.720
And then it also gives you an objective perspective.
00:21:22.799 --> 00:21:30.079
So you can see what's going on and you can tell, are these realistic expectations or unrealistic expectations?
00:21:30.240 --> 00:21:34.319
Am I being supportive or am I cutting myself down?
00:21:34.720 --> 00:21:38.799
When I deny my power, my power is denied to me.
00:21:39.440 --> 00:21:41.039
And talk about patterns.
00:21:41.200 --> 00:21:44.640
I always tell people that don't that fuss about journaling.
00:21:44.799 --> 00:21:48.559
I just tell them, look, do you know what you were thinking or feeling two weeks ago?
00:21:48.720 --> 00:21:49.440
And they're like, no.
00:21:49.599 --> 00:21:51.119
I said, journal, and you will.
00:21:51.279 --> 00:21:52.400
You'll see a pattern.
00:21:52.559 --> 00:21:56.240
You will find the patterns that you have no clue you have.
00:21:56.319 --> 00:21:59.599
If you just journal once a day, a little short little blip.
00:22:00.160 --> 00:22:03.279
And then go back two weeks and you'll see.
00:22:03.599 --> 00:22:09.119
Oh, every Tuesday when I have to work late, I tend to do this thing.
00:22:09.759 --> 00:22:12.160
Maybe I need to change that.
00:22:12.559 --> 00:22:14.160
Yeah, very true.
00:22:14.480 --> 00:22:15.519
Very true.
00:22:16.400 --> 00:22:19.519
Yeah, there's an exercise that I have my clients do.
00:22:19.759 --> 00:22:23.279
It's called the recentering exercise.
00:22:23.519 --> 00:22:24.400
Yeah, tell me about that.
00:22:24.640 --> 00:22:25.519
Mind if I share a few steps?
00:22:25.599 --> 00:22:25.759
Yeah.
00:22:26.000 --> 00:22:26.960
Oh, please tell me more.
00:22:27.119 --> 00:22:27.359
Yes.
00:22:27.599 --> 00:22:29.599
So you definitely need a journal.
00:22:30.480 --> 00:22:33.680
So take your journal and a timer.
00:22:33.920 --> 00:22:38.000
And you want to time yourself and give yourself just like one minute.
00:22:38.400 --> 00:22:46.480
And first, you think of what is a problem or an issue that you're dealing with in your life right now that's really causing you a lot of strife, a lot of struggle.
00:22:46.720 --> 00:22:48.640
And that's kind of the headline.
00:22:48.880 --> 00:23:02.400
And then once you start the timer, all the emotions that you're feeling around this experience, just as many emotions as you can come up with for as right as fast as you can until you run out of emotions or the timer goes off.
00:23:02.480 --> 00:23:03.599
Whichever one comes first.
00:23:03.839 --> 00:23:05.680
One minute, nonstop.
00:23:05.920 --> 00:23:10.960
I'm pissed, I'm anxious, I'm frustrated, I'm worried, I'm blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, whatever it is.
00:23:11.039 --> 00:23:11.920
Get it out.
00:23:12.240 --> 00:23:16.880
Then after you acknowledge how you feel, step one, acknowledge how you feel.
00:23:17.039 --> 00:23:25.279
Step two, appreciate all the challenges and obligations and requirements and all that stuff that you're dealing with.
00:23:25.839 --> 00:23:32.480
Because you want to write down, you know, I have to get this stuff done, and I still have to get the kids off to school, and I got to get the laundry done.
00:23:32.720 --> 00:23:36.640
I have to, I have no idea what I'm serving for dinner, and I have to go to the grocery store, and I have to do this, I have to do that.
00:23:36.720 --> 00:23:37.519
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:23:37.839 --> 00:23:41.599
Write it down because you're not making this stuff up.
00:23:41.920 --> 00:23:52.319
Your nervous system is trying to help you, and it's keeping you very alert and anxious because it feels like you are not listening.
00:23:52.559 --> 00:23:53.839
You are not listening.
00:23:54.160 --> 00:24:00.880
When you write down all the emotions, all of a sudden, your nervous system feels heard.
00:24:01.599 --> 00:24:09.599
When you write down all of the challenges, all of the issues, all the obligations that you're dealing with, you're taking it seriously.
00:24:09.680 --> 00:24:11.440
You're not making this stuff up.
00:24:12.079 --> 00:24:13.039
It's real.
00:24:13.440 --> 00:24:15.759
And so your nervous system feels seen.
00:24:17.279 --> 00:24:25.519
Step three, celebrate your skills, abilities, and values that you're bringing to the situation.
00:24:25.920 --> 00:24:31.039
Because often the first thing we do is we ignore what we bring to the party.
00:24:31.680 --> 00:24:35.680
We pretend that we're starting from ground zero and you're not.
00:24:36.079 --> 00:24:50.079
You actually have a lot of tools and resources and connections and all the things and your commitment, your your determination, your compassion, all of those qualities that make you uniquely you.
00:24:50.559 --> 00:25:00.559
And so instead of discarding those, you celebrate those and say, No, it's not perfect, and this is who I'm being in the moment anyway.
00:25:01.519 --> 00:25:11.839
When you do that, your nervous system feels valued, and finally it gets to a space where it can step down and stop being on high alert.
00:25:12.319 --> 00:25:15.200
You can get into more of a neutral zone.
00:25:15.359 --> 00:25:18.559
There's additional clearing that can be done if you need that.
00:25:19.119 --> 00:25:25.279
But for many of my clients, the next step, step four, is to recommit to your intention.
00:25:26.480 --> 00:25:34.559
Your intention is what you choose to create and how you choose to feel about it while you're creating it.
00:25:34.960 --> 00:25:39.119
I think of it as kind of like typing an address into a spiritual GPS.
00:25:39.759 --> 00:25:44.400
This is where we choose to go and how we're how much fun we're gonna have on the journey to get there.
00:25:44.640 --> 00:25:48.960
And yeah, I know as soon as I type the address in, I'm not already there.
00:25:49.200 --> 00:25:52.480
I haven't poof, magically arrived at my destination.
00:25:52.720 --> 00:25:57.039
No, I'm gonna have a lot of fun getting to my destination.
00:25:57.359 --> 00:25:57.599
Yes.
00:25:57.839 --> 00:26:09.839
And so when you really commit to that intention, and I encourage people to hold that intention for 78 seconds, it really makes a difference.
00:26:10.000 --> 00:26:12.480
In fact, I do that at the beginning of every episode of my show.
00:26:12.640 --> 00:26:15.680
We share an intention and hold it in silence for 78 seconds.
00:26:15.759 --> 00:26:17.440
I'm sure I'm the only show that does this.
00:26:17.599 --> 00:26:23.119
And it's because the divine aligns with your energy and says, okay, this is where we're going.
00:26:23.440 --> 00:26:35.680
So you've cleared your nervous system, you've recommitted to what you're creating, and then you step into grateful curiosity with your attention wide open, ready to receive all the blessings.
00:26:35.839 --> 00:26:40.400
So you're in charge of what you choose to create and how you choose to feel along the way.
00:26:40.640 --> 00:26:43.920
The divine is in charge of guiding you to get there.
00:26:44.240 --> 00:26:50.960
You don't need to know where you're gonna turn in 20 miles, you only care about where you're gonna turn at this intersection.
00:26:51.920 --> 00:26:58.480
So, yeah, you don't get wrapped around the axle that you don't know every single step all the way before you even get started.
00:26:58.640 --> 00:27:00.319
No, why would you?
00:27:00.559 --> 00:27:03.039
And fascinating research.
00:27:03.359 --> 00:27:11.039
Human beings love seeking, love it, crave it, want it.
00:27:11.200 --> 00:27:15.279
I am a murder mystery, a cozy murder mystery enthusiast.
00:27:15.440 --> 00:27:19.920
Don't like the really icky stuff, but I love trying to figure out the puzzle.
00:27:20.160 --> 00:27:22.960
Yes, everybody does.
00:27:23.200 --> 00:27:38.960
There is so much satisfaction in the hunt, in the search, in the quest, in the uncovering, in the discovery, and then sharing your experience with other people is incredibly rewarding.
00:27:39.200 --> 00:27:51.359
So when you choose to step in with that kind of experience and you celebrate your experience, you celebrate the unfolding instead of tapping your toe and looking at your watch every five seconds.
00:27:51.920 --> 00:27:53.039
It's not done yet.
00:27:53.200 --> 00:27:54.480
It's not done yet.
00:27:54.880 --> 00:27:56.000
Of course not.
00:27:56.319 --> 00:27:57.359
You're never done.
00:27:57.519 --> 00:27:58.240
There's always more.
00:27:58.400 --> 00:28:02.480
There's always more love, there's always more joy, there's always more abundance.
00:28:03.519 --> 00:28:05.599
I just love this so much.
00:28:05.759 --> 00:28:10.400
I mean, and when I was listening to your TEDx talk, congratulations, by the way.
00:28:10.559 --> 00:28:15.039
It looks like so many people are listening and benefiting from your message.
00:28:15.279 --> 00:28:17.359
And I was just taking notes.
00:28:17.519 --> 00:28:24.640
And so I that was the first note I took was the when you talked about attention and intention shaping your experience.
00:28:24.720 --> 00:28:28.640
And I'm so glad you were able to talk about that in detail.
00:28:29.119 --> 00:28:43.440
And also, I just really loved the moment when you shared a moment about preparing for friends and realizing you were performing care instead of actually feeling it.
00:28:43.680 --> 00:28:49.039
Can you can you share that with us for those of us that haven't seen your TEDx video?
00:28:49.519 --> 00:28:50.559
Oh man.
00:28:52.400 --> 00:28:54.400
I just was really I it's perfect.
00:28:54.480 --> 00:28:55.839
It's a great little scenario.
00:28:56.160 --> 00:29:01.440
I actually have a more recent scenario that I want to share with you that's really powerful too.
00:29:01.680 --> 00:29:02.400
Well, let's have it.
00:29:02.799 --> 00:29:03.599
Similar kind of thing.
00:29:03.759 --> 00:29:08.640
I had some friends coming to visit, and I asked them what kind of wine they like.
00:29:08.960 --> 00:29:13.359
And it I knew where I could get it, but it was about a half an hour from my house.
00:29:13.680 --> 00:29:17.440
And so I made plans to go and get the wine for them.
00:29:17.519 --> 00:29:22.480
And I'm with another friend, my walking buddy, and she's like, forget it.
00:29:22.720 --> 00:29:24.960
Get what you like, make a deal.
00:29:25.200 --> 00:29:28.640
And I felt so invalidated.
00:29:28.880 --> 00:29:30.000
I felt really hurt.
00:29:30.079 --> 00:29:31.359
It's like, are you kidding me?
00:29:31.440 --> 00:29:36.400
I'm going out of my way to make my friends feel loved and special and valued.
00:29:36.559 --> 00:29:40.000
And you're telling me to just hang that up and that doesn't matter.
00:29:40.240 --> 00:29:41.440
I was so chapped.
00:29:41.680 --> 00:29:48.160
And then I spoke with my friends who were coming to visit, and they laughed out loud at me for being so angry.
00:29:48.319 --> 00:29:52.799
They said, Elaine, you live in the wine country for crying out loud.
00:29:53.039 --> 00:29:56.000
You've probably had some wine we've never had.
00:29:56.160 --> 00:29:59.440
And if you like it, we're probably gonna like it too.
00:29:59.599 --> 00:30:01.759
So it's really not a big deal.
00:30:02.000 --> 00:30:12.960
Well, it was really funny because I sat down and journaled, and I'm I'm connecting with the divine, and the divine said, Elaine, you just witnessed the three different forms of love.
00:30:14.079 --> 00:30:26.559
You wanted to demonstrate love with nurturing and care and showing people that you were paying attention to their preferences so you could create a loving environment for them.
00:30:27.039 --> 00:30:34.160
Your friend who said, Don't bother, was reminding you that the love is really about being together.
00:30:34.319 --> 00:30:35.759
It's not about the wine.
00:30:35.920 --> 00:30:36.559
Oh gosh.
00:30:36.720 --> 00:30:39.440
The wine's a nice to have, it's not a need to have.
00:30:40.000 --> 00:30:44.960
And your friends who laughed at you were reminding you that they love you.
00:30:45.440 --> 00:30:48.079
They love experiencing life through you.
00:30:48.400 --> 00:30:50.640
It doesn't have to do about the wine.
00:30:50.880 --> 00:30:58.400
So the real question, Elaine, is how much love are you willing to receive?
00:30:59.279 --> 00:31:00.319
That's incredible.
00:31:00.559 --> 00:31:10.400
And you're talking to a person that I feel strongly that every person has a sliver of the divine in them, because the divine is everything, all.
00:31:10.720 --> 00:31:18.319
But each of us, that's our gift, is a little sliver that we have of the higher power of whatever their your faith is.
00:31:18.720 --> 00:31:20.799
And mine is love.
00:31:21.359 --> 00:31:26.640
I have always just had this ability to love on people unconditionally.
00:31:26.880 --> 00:31:28.880
I don't expect anything back.
00:31:29.200 --> 00:31:31.200
I just want you to let me.
00:31:31.440 --> 00:31:36.000
And when people don't let me love on them, it's really an issue for me.
00:31:36.240 --> 00:31:37.759
I struggle with that.
00:31:38.960 --> 00:31:41.279
And some people put up a wall, you know?
00:31:41.440 --> 00:31:42.880
I'm like, let me in.
00:31:43.359 --> 00:31:43.920
Let me in.
00:31:44.720 --> 00:31:45.759
It's very interesting.
00:31:45.920 --> 00:31:53.279
I uh I have a uh one of my clients who's a very devout Catholic, has a very close relationship with Jesus.
00:31:53.440 --> 00:32:10.000
And I received a divine download that showed Jesus coming to her, and her hands were full of packages, and all these packages represented the burdens, her cares, her worries, her frustrations, her fears, all of that.
00:32:10.240 --> 00:32:15.200
And Jesus said, you know, I did make arrangements to take all that from you.
00:32:16.720 --> 00:32:23.519
And until you let that come to me and just allow me to take that from you, you can't take my hand.
00:32:24.079 --> 00:32:26.880
And my hand is here full of love for you.
00:32:27.359 --> 00:32:30.799
Now I love you with your or without your burdens.
00:32:31.039 --> 00:32:31.920
It's your choice.
00:32:32.079 --> 00:32:40.160
If you want to keep your burdens and it feels safe to you, okay, but you are forgoing the love that is available for you.
00:32:40.799 --> 00:32:47.839
And so, Pam, the key thing is that you are holding space for others.
00:32:48.400 --> 00:32:50.079
You're holding love for them.
00:32:50.240 --> 00:32:52.880
I want to share another divine download that came through.
00:32:53.279 --> 00:32:59.200
I was doing an exercise that's called the seven, uh, hold it.
00:32:59.359 --> 00:33:02.880
It's uh seven-day mental diet.
00:33:03.519 --> 00:33:06.240
The seven-day mental diet is for seven days.
00:33:06.400 --> 00:33:13.839
You do not blame, shame, judge, criticize, or gossip about anyone or anything for seven days.
00:33:13.920 --> 00:33:15.680
It's very hard to do as a human being.
00:33:15.920 --> 00:33:20.079
And then you also don't expose yourself to any negative stuff.
00:33:20.240 --> 00:33:25.920
So you don't watch the news, you don't read the headlines, you don't listen to gossip, you don't none of it.
00:33:26.160 --> 00:33:29.279
And so I'm practicing because it's a practice, it takes a while.
00:33:29.440 --> 00:33:33.119
I was practicing the seven-day mental diet, and I went into the grocery store.
00:33:33.359 --> 00:33:38.079
Every single aisle had people arguing about something.
00:33:38.480 --> 00:33:45.519
And I get to the checkout line, and there's these headlines screaming about, you know, all the pol political stuff.
00:33:45.599 --> 00:33:48.240
And I overhear people talking about a natural disaster.
00:33:48.400 --> 00:33:52.160
And I get my groceries, I go out to my car and I'm sitting there, I connect with the definite.
00:33:52.240 --> 00:33:58.720
I'm like, seriously, you know I'm trying to be positive here, and you're not helping.
00:33:59.119 --> 00:34:06.079
And the message that came through was we are guiding you, and you are guiding us.
00:34:06.960 --> 00:34:19.280
Every time you witness something that you don't personally know how to fix, like the homeless situation, like someone dealing with a fatal disease, like a natural disaster.
00:34:19.760 --> 00:34:30.320
We expect you to immediately envision everyone involved or impacted to energetic levels above where they are now.
00:34:30.639 --> 00:34:33.199
Right now, they are in the flames.
00:34:33.679 --> 00:34:44.239
We expect you to envision them as the Phoenix, whole, healed, and thriving while you send them love and blessings.
00:34:44.480 --> 00:34:48.480
That's the sign we look for to support them.
00:34:49.119 --> 00:34:53.840
We are guiding you, and you are guiding us.
00:34:55.360 --> 00:35:00.559
Wow, that is so powerful and profound.
00:35:00.719 --> 00:35:08.639
I mean, I'm gonna be w thinking about all of this for a while, and I'm sure our listeners are gonna keep going back, repeat, come back.
00:35:08.960 --> 00:35:10.239
Let's go back a little further.
00:35:10.400 --> 00:35:11.679
I want to hear that again.
00:35:12.000 --> 00:35:14.320
That's awesome, that's beautiful.
00:35:14.480 --> 00:35:25.519
And I do a little thing, not that profound, but every time I hear an ambulance or a siren, then I say a prayer for the family of the person that is hurt.
00:35:25.760 --> 00:35:26.239
Yeah.
00:35:26.559 --> 00:35:28.719
And it because we hear how often do we hear that?
00:35:28.800 --> 00:35:34.079
And it makes us feel either scared or worried, or you know, who's that ambulance going to?
00:35:34.159 --> 00:35:35.519
Is it someone I know?
00:35:36.159 --> 00:35:44.719
So it just gives me comfort instead of worry to pray about and and hope that they're okay, the family handles whatever's coming at them.
00:35:45.039 --> 00:35:46.480
And prayers work.
00:35:47.199 --> 00:35:52.719
Prayers are incredibly effective, especially when prayers are prayers of gratitude.
00:35:53.360 --> 00:36:02.079
And you're thanking the God of your understanding for helping these people, for guiding these people, for allowing them to feel safe and loved.
00:36:02.480 --> 00:36:06.719
What your message is amazingly beautiful and profound.
00:36:06.800 --> 00:36:20.480
And I can see where, I mean, a lot of times the things that I like the pause or how to get around why we do things that are unhealthy for us in excess, binging, but that a lot of that's out there.
00:36:20.639 --> 00:36:22.079
People are talking the talk.
00:36:22.239 --> 00:36:30.960
They're they're saying, this is an issue, but a lot of people are saying, okay, I get you, I hear you, this is the issue, but now what do I do with this?
00:36:31.119 --> 00:36:32.639
How do I put this into play?
00:36:32.800 --> 00:36:34.960
What's the first thing I need to do?
00:36:35.360 --> 00:36:48.480
For someone listening right now who feels pressure to to get it right and to show up perfectly, what's one small way they can return to themselves in that moment?
00:36:49.119 --> 00:36:54.719
I always tell people the very first thing you do is notice your breath.
00:36:55.360 --> 00:36:55.679
Yeah.
00:36:56.400 --> 00:36:59.920
Notice your breath because it brings you back to yourself.
00:37:00.320 --> 00:37:05.119
It brings you back inside and it immediately creates that little pause.
00:37:05.920 --> 00:37:14.639
So you get out of reaction mode and into a space where you choose how you're going to show up.
00:37:15.760 --> 00:37:16.880
It was very interesting.
00:37:17.039 --> 00:37:30.239
One of the messages I got during my stroke when I had the conversation with my higher power, at one point I felt as though they took my face in their hands and they were looking deeply into my eyes.
00:37:30.559 --> 00:37:34.159
And they said, We really want you to understand this.
00:37:35.840 --> 00:37:40.239
Life isn't that much about you.
00:37:41.840 --> 00:37:45.039
Life is through you.
00:37:46.239 --> 00:37:50.800
It's about how you show up while you're here.
00:37:51.599 --> 00:37:52.639
And that was really funny.
00:37:52.800 --> 00:37:54.960
I was given an image of a swizzle stick.
00:37:55.280 --> 00:37:58.239
You've probably seen these, it's like at a bar where you stir up a drink.
00:37:58.480 --> 00:38:02.159
It's a little tiny straw, but it's welded together down the middle.
00:38:02.239 --> 00:38:07.039
And if you've ever tried to sip through one of those things, it'll give you a brain aneurysm because it really doesn't work.
00:38:07.360 --> 00:38:22.960
And so you can have that much divine flowing through you, make it really hard with lots of interference, or you can be this massive pipe that allows endless, infinite divine nourishing love to flow through you.
00:38:23.280 --> 00:38:28.480
And it is you, it is the embodiment of you, and yet it is beyond you.
00:38:28.639 --> 00:38:30.079
It is more than you.
00:38:30.320 --> 00:38:31.440
And it's really interesting.
00:38:31.519 --> 00:38:43.519
I often have to go back and re-watch, re-listen to meetings that I have because the messages are coming through, and it doesn't feel like it's me doing the talking.
00:38:43.920 --> 00:38:46.239
What I was talking about was your TEDx talk.
00:38:46.320 --> 00:38:55.119
And as a speaker, I always like to wait and listen to the close because I struggle with my clothes because I just want to go on and on and on.
00:38:55.519 --> 00:39:00.880
You have to make sure that you're timely and that you close with something that really drives home the message.
00:39:01.119 --> 00:39:02.159
I really pay attention.
00:39:02.400 --> 00:39:05.760
When you were coming towards the end of your talk, well, how is she going to end this?
00:39:05.920 --> 00:39:07.760
I don't know how she's going to close.
00:39:08.079 --> 00:39:12.239
And it was beautiful closing, but that's not what I was impacted with.
00:39:12.400 --> 00:39:16.480
What I what impacted me was when you were done.
00:39:16.960 --> 00:39:18.639
Still gets me emotional.
00:39:18.880 --> 00:39:28.880
When you were done, everyone was just clapping and saying, yay, you could hear them all just being you impacted them.
00:39:28.960 --> 00:39:36.559
You made a difference in their life, and and they were reward, you know, helping you feel that love because of what you shared.
00:39:36.800 --> 00:39:45.119
And it just makes me emotional when when you can just share your heart with people, and it really does make a difference.
00:39:45.280 --> 00:39:52.239
There was only a handful of people that ever impacted me like that growing up, and I still try to be like them to this day, you know.
00:39:52.559 --> 00:39:55.280
Well, you have a lot more impact than you realize.
00:39:55.519 --> 00:40:01.199
You know, I used to think that working on myself and all of that was kind of selfish, right?
00:40:01.360 --> 00:40:05.519
I should be more focused on what I can do for everybody else.
00:40:05.760 --> 00:40:10.400
And I was guided by the divine to read a wonderful book called Connected.
00:40:10.559 --> 00:40:14.480
It has a very long subtitle, Surprising Power of Social Networks and How They Shape Our Lives.
00:40:14.559 --> 00:40:16.000
Just remember connected.
00:40:16.239 --> 00:40:24.960
It's written by two social scientists who worked at two different universities, and both guys were absolutely fascinated by the whole six degrees of separation thing.
00:40:25.119 --> 00:40:27.679
And they wanted to figure out how real is this?
00:40:28.159 --> 00:40:38.239
So they got a bunch of grad students together and did a massive study, and they discovered something that they call the three degrees of influence rule.
00:40:38.480 --> 00:40:46.480
It turns out that you have influence over your friends, friends, friends, three levels away from you.
00:40:46.639 --> 00:40:49.280
I thought, wow, that's really fascinating.
00:40:49.440 --> 00:40:50.639
Friends, friends, friends.
00:40:50.719 --> 00:40:54.400
I mean, friends, yeah, friends, friends, maybe friends, friends, friends.
00:40:54.480 --> 00:40:55.519
That's surprising.
00:40:55.679 --> 00:40:57.199
And so then I asked Dr.
00:40:57.280 --> 00:41:00.880
Google, how many people could that possibly be?
00:41:01.119 --> 00:41:09.840
And she came back with a recently published article in the New York Times citing research that states the average American knows about 600 people.
00:41:10.000 --> 00:41:15.280
And I thought, as if maybe I know a hundred, I mean, that's a stretch.
00:41:15.440 --> 00:41:19.840
And I talked to a couple friends of mine, and they were like, oh, that's really low, you know, closer to a thousand people.
00:41:19.920 --> 00:41:20.960
I was like, okay, fine.
00:41:21.119 --> 00:41:23.360
Some statistician came up with this number.
00:41:23.519 --> 00:41:26.960
Let's just pretend it's the right number and see what happens.
00:41:27.199 --> 00:41:35.920
So if you imagine a bullseye where you're at the center of the bullseye, and three rings around you are your friends, friends, friends.
00:41:36.159 --> 00:41:46.719
Well, the first ring is the 600 people that you know, and they all know 600 people, so that's 360,000 people in your second ring, and they all know 600 people.
00:41:46.880 --> 00:41:51.039
That's 216 million people in your third ring.
00:41:51.119 --> 00:42:03.119
So, according to the two social scientists who wrote the book Connected, everything you think, feel, say, and do ripples out to 216,360,600 people.
00:42:03.360 --> 00:42:06.079
And they measured the impact that you have.
00:42:06.400 --> 00:42:17.840
When you choose to pause and postpone the binge, those 600 people in your first ring are 15% more likely to do the same.
00:42:18.639 --> 00:42:19.280
Wow.
00:42:19.519 --> 00:42:25.440
And the 360,000 people in your second ring are 10% more likely to do the same.
00:42:26.159 --> 00:42:32.719
And the 216 million people you're convinced there's not a way in the world, 6% more likely to do the same.
00:42:32.960 --> 00:42:38.480
Because our energy is connected so much more than you realize.
00:42:38.639 --> 00:42:43.760
So, what kind of energy are you not only sending out, but sending in?
00:42:44.480 --> 00:42:46.800
Oh, I love that.
00:42:46.960 --> 00:42:49.679
Can you just be on my podcast every single day?
00:42:50.960 --> 00:42:53.199
No, you have to be on mine a few times.
00:42:55.760 --> 00:42:58.000
Scratch your back, you scratch mine.
00:42:59.199 --> 00:43:00.320
Oh my gosh.
00:43:00.559 --> 00:43:09.440
What I love about everything you're saying is that it's not about fixing the behavior.
00:43:09.519 --> 00:43:13.360
It's about the disconnection that we have underneath it.
00:43:13.519 --> 00:43:19.840
And that moment, the moment the urge hits, that's where everything can change.
00:43:20.719 --> 00:43:21.920
Do you agree with that?
00:43:22.239 --> 00:43:23.119
Absolutely.
00:43:23.360 --> 00:43:24.719
A thousand percent.
00:43:25.039 --> 00:43:31.039
Because it's also that moment when you notice your breath, you come back into yourself, and then you have a choice.
00:43:31.360 --> 00:43:41.119
Do I do I react from fear and try to comfort myself in the short term with what has felt good in the past, but I know isn't really good for me?
00:43:41.840 --> 00:43:48.960
Or do I step into love and grateful curiosity and I don't know what's coming?
00:43:49.199 --> 00:43:55.360
And I can live in the not knowing, trusting the divine is sending blessings my way.
00:43:55.920 --> 00:43:59.360
And when I can step into that trust, when I can step into that love.
00:44:00.079 --> 00:44:01.920
That's when everything shifts.
00:44:03.760 --> 00:44:05.519
I just love that so much.
00:44:06.000 --> 00:44:14.239
So isn't and and I just want the listeners to know, again, I say this over and over, it it's not about fixing everything all at once.
00:44:14.400 --> 00:44:21.199
It's about choosing the next right thing and then doing that one thing.
00:44:21.440 --> 00:44:29.280
So instead of trying to control your outcomes, it's really about learning how to come back into alignment first.
00:44:29.519 --> 00:44:30.079
Yeah.
00:44:30.639 --> 00:44:30.800
Okay.
00:44:31.039 --> 00:44:32.400
So I just want to make sure I understand.
00:44:32.559 --> 00:44:35.519
I'm trying to repeat so I can understand.
00:44:35.679 --> 00:44:37.599
And I'm going to write about this.
00:44:37.840 --> 00:44:41.519
I don't know if you know this, but I have a whole ecosystem of newsletter.
00:44:41.599 --> 00:44:47.599
I do three a week to highlight and shine a light on my guests.
00:44:47.840 --> 00:44:50.000
So I write as PJ Hamilton.
00:44:50.239 --> 00:44:51.199
That's my pen name.
00:44:51.360 --> 00:44:57.360
So Tuesdays I post a story that's a memory, a life story that happened to me, and it's usually hilarious.
00:44:57.920 --> 00:45:00.079
But a lot of times there's a big life lesson.
00:45:00.159 --> 00:45:05.760
And I now I write the short story to honor my guest's message of that for that week.
00:45:06.000 --> 00:45:17.199
And then newsletter two is on Wednesday, and it's called Inside the Pause, and it's all about the message of the guest shared with us that week.
00:45:17.360 --> 00:45:20.559
And people get early access to the episode.
00:45:20.639 --> 00:45:24.639
And then Thursday we air it and it's just all about the guest.
00:45:24.800 --> 00:45:26.320
So that's anyway.
00:45:26.400 --> 00:45:29.760
I just want to make sure I understand it clearly so I can get it right.
00:45:30.000 --> 00:45:31.599
Yeah, it's about aligning.
00:45:31.760 --> 00:45:33.119
And you always have choice.
00:45:33.360 --> 00:45:34.639
You always have choice.
00:45:34.960 --> 00:45:39.440
I'm going to share one more divine download that I received during my stroke.
00:45:40.000 --> 00:45:45.360
Because at one point, the divine asked me a rhetorical question.
00:45:45.599 --> 00:45:48.000
They said, okay, everything is love.
00:45:48.719 --> 00:45:49.679
You are love.
00:45:49.840 --> 00:45:51.760
The air you're breathing is love.
00:45:51.920 --> 00:45:53.760
The chair you're sitting in is love.
00:45:53.920 --> 00:45:56.159
The God of your understanding is love.
00:45:56.400 --> 00:45:58.559
Absolutely everything is love.
00:45:59.199 --> 00:46:06.719
So how do you create more love when everything already is love?
00:46:07.599 --> 00:46:11.599
And I said, Well, I really hope you figured that out because I don't have the idea.
00:46:11.760 --> 00:46:16.320
And they said, Well, we decide to create human beings who do not think that everything is love.
00:46:16.559 --> 00:46:25.519
And because you do not think everything is love, that immediately gives you this uh opportunity to choose between what is wanted and what is not wanted.
00:46:25.760 --> 00:46:28.800
That friction gives you the superpower of choice.
00:46:28.880 --> 00:46:39.199
You either step back in fear, trying to stay safe and control everything with that you already know, or you step forward with grateful curiosity, not knowing what's coming.
00:46:39.360 --> 00:46:45.119
And every time you step forward, you expand the divine, you expand love, you expand the God of your understanding.
00:46:45.360 --> 00:46:47.920
You've been human, physical many times in the past.
00:46:48.079 --> 00:46:53.199
You will be physical many times in the future because this is the rock star place to be.
00:46:53.360 --> 00:46:56.719
This is the cutting edge of the divine.
00:46:56.880 --> 00:46:58.800
It's not easy.
00:46:59.280 --> 00:47:15.599
We actually kind of mess with you a lot because it's the going out of alignment with the divine, noticing that you're out of alignment with the divine, and deliberately using your tools and techniques to get back into alignment that expands the divine.
00:47:15.760 --> 00:47:18.719
So we need you to go out so you will come back in.
00:47:18.800 --> 00:47:24.480
So we mess with you like a lot, because that's how we expand the divine.
00:47:26.079 --> 00:47:26.639
Yeah.
00:47:26.960 --> 00:47:28.719
It makes so much sense though.
00:47:28.960 --> 00:47:29.599
It does.
00:47:30.000 --> 00:47:32.320
The simplicity of it is beautiful.
00:47:32.639 --> 00:47:35.679
But human beings, we don't think simply.
00:47:36.480 --> 00:47:38.559
We like to complicate things.
00:47:39.599 --> 00:47:42.159
Well, it certainly becomes very complicated.
00:47:42.320 --> 00:47:45.199
But when you stop and go, okay, wait a minute.
00:47:47.679 --> 00:47:55.199
There's a little exercise that I love to get my clients to do, especially the ones who are very resistant because it's hysterically funny and it really works.
00:47:55.679 --> 00:47:58.480
There's a great little book called Hiring the Heavens.
00:47:58.719 --> 00:48:00.960
Super small size, short read.
00:48:01.119 --> 00:48:09.920
And basically she says, look, there are gazillions of angels out there, and they are more than happy to help you, but you have to ask them for help.
00:48:10.079 --> 00:48:12.880
They can't just automatically willy-nilly help you out.
00:48:13.199 --> 00:48:16.960
And so I love hiring the heavens, is what she calls it.
00:48:17.119 --> 00:48:19.280
I hire angels with gratitude.
00:48:19.440 --> 00:48:20.639
So I always say thank you.
00:48:21.280 --> 00:48:31.119
First angel I hire every day is an attitude adjustment angel for me, so that I am focused on the blessings that are present in the moment instead of the problems.
00:48:31.360 --> 00:48:33.760
I can take on the burdens or I could take on the blessings.
00:48:33.920 --> 00:48:35.119
I choose the blessings.
00:48:35.360 --> 00:48:44.000
So first I hire an attitude adjustment angel for myself, and then I hire attitude adjustment angels for absolutely everyone that I will meet or impact in any way today.
00:48:44.639 --> 00:48:47.119
And it really, really works.
00:48:47.599 --> 00:48:50.960
I like that approach a lot better, especially for speaking.
00:48:51.119 --> 00:48:53.119
I just, I am the world's worst.
00:48:53.280 --> 00:48:59.760
Like right before I start the talk, I start doubting myself, like I'm gonna forget the words.
00:48:59.920 --> 00:49:02.800
I'm not gonna remember what to say or how to flow.
00:49:02.880 --> 00:49:12.159
And I get all up in my head and I always pray that please just let me be the vessel you need me to be and reach whoever needs to hear this today.
00:49:12.320 --> 00:49:13.440
Just give me the words.
00:49:13.599 --> 00:49:16.320
And that usually helps, but I'm gonna hire me an angel.
00:49:16.480 --> 00:49:17.360
That's what I'm gonna do.
00:49:17.840 --> 00:49:26.559
Hire angels, hire speaker angels, hire a like a uh transcript angel that's like whispering in your ear, so you get the transcript the whole time.
00:49:26.880 --> 00:49:32.320
And the other thing is speak to your subconscious mind.
00:49:32.559 --> 00:49:41.920
Because when you say, Oh, I'm the worst at, and I always worry about always worst at, you speak with the one into existence.
00:49:43.039 --> 00:49:51.039
Instead, speak to your subconscious mind and let it know, thank you for feeding me this information.
00:49:51.199 --> 00:49:54.719
I know I already know it, and you already have the entire thing memorized.
00:49:54.880 --> 00:49:59.599
So you're just going to bring it forth, and I won't even feel as though I'm present.
00:49:59.760 --> 00:50:11.280
It's just going to flow from me in perfect timing, perfect pacing, perfect staging, perfect emphasis, everything so that I reach the hearts of those that I'm connected with.
00:50:11.360 --> 00:50:15.840
And those who are ready to receive the message will truly receive this message.
00:50:16.000 --> 00:50:19.119
And I'm so grateful that I get to be the vessel today.
00:50:19.679 --> 00:50:20.559
I love that.
00:50:20.800 --> 00:50:21.920
How does that feel?
00:50:22.239 --> 00:50:26.159
It feels a lot better, a lot more natural, a lot more effective.
00:50:26.559 --> 00:50:28.079
Because it's already there.
00:50:28.320 --> 00:50:28.639
Yeah.
00:50:28.800 --> 00:50:30.000
It's already there.
00:50:30.239 --> 00:50:30.639
Yes.
00:50:30.880 --> 00:50:31.280
Yeah.
00:50:31.519 --> 00:50:38.559
Yes, because I mean, I'm I've literally feel led that, which you probably do too, to um to share it.
00:50:38.719 --> 00:50:41.280
It gets quite loud in your head if you don't.
00:50:41.599 --> 00:50:48.800
I don't know if it gets louder and like a ringing in my ears if I I'm like, no, no, no, no, I'm not gonna talk about that.
00:50:48.880 --> 00:50:49.760
I don't want to talk.
00:50:50.559 --> 00:50:53.440
They will not like you said, they mess with me.
00:50:53.679 --> 00:50:54.559
They do.
00:50:55.440 --> 00:50:55.920
They do.
00:50:56.320 --> 00:50:57.760
I need you to get this out there.
00:50:58.000 --> 00:50:58.639
Yeah.
00:50:59.199 --> 00:50:59.519
Yeah.
00:50:59.760 --> 00:51:01.760
When are you willing to share your gifts?
00:51:02.000 --> 00:51:04.159
Because your gifts are given to you for a reason.
00:51:04.239 --> 00:51:08.719
They're divine gifts, and it's how the divine wants to express through you.
00:51:09.039 --> 00:51:11.840
It's not about you, it's through you.
00:51:12.000 --> 00:51:31.039
And so when you're willing to step in and share your gifts, you know, it's fine if you're a little the ironic thing is science has proven that the physical body expresses anxiety and eager anticipation the exact same way.
00:51:31.440 --> 00:51:34.639
The mind makes up a story about what this is.
00:51:35.119 --> 00:51:36.159
You have that choice.
00:51:36.320 --> 00:51:42.320
You can step into fear, anxiety, or you can step into grateful curiosity, eager anticipation.
00:51:43.920 --> 00:51:44.800
Which one do you want?
00:51:45.519 --> 00:51:47.119
It's such a it's like a switch.
00:51:47.519 --> 00:51:48.079
It is.
00:51:48.639 --> 00:51:50.639
It is I love that.
00:51:50.880 --> 00:51:52.079
It's an online switch.
00:51:52.400 --> 00:51:52.800
Uh-huh.
00:51:53.840 --> 00:51:57.760
It is, because you can turn off the fear and turn on the fun.
00:51:58.639 --> 00:52:00.960
The beautiful thing is you don't have to be in control.
00:52:01.039 --> 00:52:04.000
The divine is guiding you every step of the way.
00:52:04.559 --> 00:52:18.079
You get to share your gifts, be in your intention, creating this love, this connection, this this information that really empowers the world and empowers people to be the gift that they are.
00:52:18.559 --> 00:52:19.199
Yes.
00:52:19.599 --> 00:52:20.960
Oh my goodness.
00:52:21.280 --> 00:52:22.480
Gosh, I love that.
00:52:22.639 --> 00:52:25.039
So, what do you have to share with our listeners?
00:52:25.199 --> 00:52:30.239
Do you feel the need to share any any specific message with any with our listeners today?
00:52:30.400 --> 00:52:37.360
I mean, uh, before we close, unfortunately, before we close, but I I just would love for you to share anything you're feeling on your heart.
00:52:37.920 --> 00:52:42.800
I think it's really important for you to know that you are a blessing.
00:52:43.679 --> 00:52:45.519
And you are blessed.
00:52:46.559 --> 00:52:51.599
And because you are blessed, you can bless.
00:52:52.880 --> 00:53:16.400
So bless your water, bless your food, bless everyone on the freeway with you, bless everyone in your office building, bless everyone you meet, bless everyone you pass, bless everything in your home, bless the animals that that are around your home, bless everything, because it all comes back to you.
00:53:18.880 --> 00:53:19.519
Gosh.
00:53:19.840 --> 00:53:21.599
I just want to sit on that.
00:53:22.000 --> 00:53:33.599
So, Elaine, for people listening who are really connecting with you, where can they find your work and learn more about what's happening, what the latest, greatest news is for you?
00:53:34.000 --> 00:53:34.480
Absolutely.
00:53:34.639 --> 00:53:39.760
Please visit my website, theabundancejourney.com.
00:53:40.400 --> 00:53:45.280
Because your life is a journey of abundance that's continually unfolding.
00:53:45.679 --> 00:53:47.679
And I would love to support you.
00:53:47.920 --> 00:53:52.800
Please do reach out to me there and you can find some free gifts as well.
00:53:53.599 --> 00:53:55.119
Ooh, free gifts.
00:53:55.280 --> 00:53:55.840
I love that.
00:53:55.920 --> 00:53:57.039
Well, I'm logging in.
00:53:57.360 --> 00:53:58.480
Let me go on there.
00:54:01.039 --> 00:54:02.559
How wonderful, y'all.
00:54:02.719 --> 00:54:09.199
What I loved about this conversation is that it reminds us all that we're not broken.
00:54:09.599 --> 00:54:14.880
We're just disconnected in moments we don't always notice.
00:54:15.039 --> 00:54:17.920
And the power isn't in fixing everything.
00:54:18.320 --> 00:54:23.280
It's in coming back to ourselves one moment at a time.
00:54:23.920 --> 00:54:26.239
And remember what I said about the newsletters, y'all.
00:54:26.320 --> 00:54:35.519
You just go to newsletter.delaythebinge.com, sign up on that email list, and you'll be the first to get all the news, all the latest, greatest.
00:54:35.679 --> 00:54:40.719
And you can share it with people that you think could really benefit from the message, like today.
00:54:41.360 --> 00:54:46.559
So it's not just what's said, but what's true underneath it.
00:54:47.519 --> 00:54:53.119
Elaine, thank you so much for all of your beauty, all the wonderfulness of you.
00:54:53.519 --> 00:54:54.559
Thank you, Pam.
00:54:54.800 --> 00:54:56.559
I had such a great time today.
00:54:56.880 --> 00:54:57.519
Me too.
00:54:57.679 --> 00:54:58.079
Me too.
00:54:58.239 --> 00:54:59.679
Even with our faux pas there.
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:02.880
But you knew what happened.
00:55:03.199 --> 00:55:04.079
It's a mystery.
00:55:04.400 --> 00:55:08.800
There was so much energy that it zapped my computer temporarily.
00:55:09.599 --> 00:55:11.119
I completely disappeared.
00:55:11.280 --> 00:55:14.239
I was like, I'm in the middle of this conversation.
00:55:14.400 --> 00:55:15.519
Where did it go?
00:55:17.360 --> 00:55:21.920
I was talking about the most beautiful things, and then I thought, well, nobody's hearing this.
00:55:22.639 --> 00:55:24.159
My angels are hearing it, I guess.
00:55:24.400 --> 00:55:25.920
They'll still tell your angels.
00:55:26.159 --> 00:55:26.320
Okay.
00:55:31.440 --> 00:55:37.679
Anyway, thank you so much, and everybody, thanks for listening, and I will see you next week.