Relationship Control Tactic Exposed By A Tow Truck Driver

WEBVTT
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The Refreshingly Normal Podcast.
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Welcome back, everybody.
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Thank you for tuning in.
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I am Keefla.
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I am Cree.
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And this is the Refreshingly Normal Podcast.
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Yeah, it is.
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Yes, she is.
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I was trying to not do as many faces so that you could get what's the name is.
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So I was like, let me just sit and just look.
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You want us to get some stills?
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Alright, we did it.
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You should have plenty.
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The only problem we have is when I'm trying to get some screenshots on funny stuff, we're always like this.
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We're both laughing with our eyes open.
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I'd rather our mouth be open with our eyes open than us be ha like this because they can't get a steal.
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But hey, that means we're just having fun.
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That's right.
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We're just living a life, guys.
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We're living a life.
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Alright, so it is.
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Today officially starts.
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Fall break.
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And I think I think the society has done what they always do.
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What do they do?
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You know, like when a trend hits.
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Who hits?
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A trend.
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Oh, a trend.
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Yeah.
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Like let's say, for example, we say, oh my God, this restaurant was the best, and it was inexpensive, and it was Michelin-tiered food.
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Yeah.
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Everybody's gonna do what?
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Go.
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Right.
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Right.
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So I think since we've been bragging about our fall break, everybody in our county, there were so many people on um on the road today, like coming back from school.
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Yeah.
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Like traffic was like long, like extensive um lines at the um red lights.
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I was like, there's never this many people waiting at this, you know, signal light or traffic light.
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So what are you saying?
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I'm saying that it's not fall break for everybody in our county.
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No.
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In our like and even the other county.
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Like they just they got out early, excited, so they could take a trip.
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Y'all still gotta go to work.
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Everybody wasn't that was on the road wasn't teachers.
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That's what you think?
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Yes.
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And some of them have kids of age that can sit at home while they go to work.
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Maybe.
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It's supposed to be our special moment.
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Well, so they can say, man, they need to take their bus to work.
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And them some of the same people that took the week off.
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Yeah.
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They're gonna be some of the same ones.
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I don't know why they complain, they get fall break.
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Yeah.
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So, you know, I just wanted my little time.
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I guess so, child.
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Nah, but it was a lot of people.
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I was like, dang, every you know, road I turn, it's like it's bored people here.
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I was close to home, so I didn't re I didn't feel it.
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It was, it was yeah today.
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I was close to home, so I just went around the corner and home.
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Well, hey.
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Yeah.
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Cheers what it is.
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Talk to me.
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Weekly recap.
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So let's say uh this week, it's our busy, well, I don't say busy season.
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I think this just gonna be, we just gonna be busy at work.
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Um, my day, I call it my real job because it's my full-time job.
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But um, doing sources of strength.
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We were at three schools this week.
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Um, everything went fine.
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Good, good.
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Had some clients this week.
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Interesting clients this week.
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Good.
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Different.
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Good.
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Uh so yeah, that has left me perturbed.
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It's okay.
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Perturbed in I don't know.
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Yeah, I don't know.
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Um, and then um my team celebrated me for breakfast for my LPC.
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Oh, that's awesome.
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So we went to Sweet Living.
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Yeah, sweet living.
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Um, black-owned coffee shop slash bakery slash breakfast.
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It was delicious as always.
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This time I got a power bowl that had potatoes.
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You can get either potatoes or grits at the bottom, eggs, any way you want it.
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I got scrambled with mixed cheddar gouda on it.
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And I got a salmon croquette.
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I had the the grit bowl like that last time.
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So I got the potatoes instead, and I tried the uh the cheese Danish.
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Was it good?
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It was very good.
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Was it better than the uh cinnamon roll?
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No, well, okay, let me say this because normally with the cheese Danish, your bread is like croissant-like.
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Theirs was more yeast roll-like.
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Yeah.
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So that's not really a Danish.
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It's the cream cheese was like a Danish.
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It's a cream roll.
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Yeah, it's like a cream roll.
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It was still good.
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But cream yeast.
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But it's not a Danish.
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But it was still very good.
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Um, so I had cream yeast in their rolls.
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Oh my gosh.
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So it was still very good.
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Um, so, anyways, um, it did that.
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Um, dealing with other things.
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You know who was the most challenging this week for me?
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Adults.
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Mm-hmm.
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Be like that sometimes.
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Yes, the adults were the most challenging in every in any kind of way you could think um that I had to deal with adults this week.
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And just adults are like, are you sure you're an adult?
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They're big kids.
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That's it.
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Oh, without it without and it's just big kids with arrogance and um uh artificial privilege.
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Yes, privilege and privilege in all cultures, races, yeah, privilege all over the world, all over.
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Um, and just not um to me, not enough, because I'm not gonna say not an ounce, not enough empathy for people involved.
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Yeah, yeah, the lack of empathy.
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Um, and I I guess if I reflect, it makes me I think part of the things that I do with teachers and programs that I do, I'm always pushing growing the relationship with people to increase empathy and understanding and and understanding the perspective and the feelings of other people.
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Like that's a lot of what I do, helping adults see that, and not just with children, but even with other human beings that are adults too.
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Um, so, anyways, yeah, there it made me think, reflecting that, yeah, I need to keep doing the work.
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Yeah, you gotta keep doing the work.
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Because doing the work that you're doing out there is also doing more work on you because it's easy when you see people like that that lack the empathy, that lack the love, then you kind of get c cold and stone on people.
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You kind of, well, you know what?
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I gave up hope on this person or these kind of people, whatever.
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But when you do that, it starts affecting you.
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Yeah.
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You know, it starts affecting how often you say hello, how often you smile, because you're starting to put, and we all do it, we'll put people in a box and we'll kind of pre-conceive somebody else just by an ounce of what they did that reminded us of that jerk or that idiot.
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You know what I'm saying?
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So just continue to do the work just for yourself mainly.
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And I just think even if I, you know, the idea is that if I can get one person to understand it, then they can do another person and whatever.
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But yeah, that's really what it was.
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So this week was, yeah, it was just a week.
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Trying week for you.
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It was a very trying week.
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So I felt it for you.
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I've I felt it.
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I am very thankful for break.
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That's good.
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I'm I'm I'm glad.
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And I'm praying that wherever I'm going, there is some good adults that I get to interact with.
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Yeah.
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Because I'm telling you, the adults I interact with this week are people who's supposed to be adults.
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Yeah.
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Well, I ain't going there for them.
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Yeah.
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So I'm not going there for them, but I just want to have good interactions.
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So you got one adult.
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Yeah, I just want to have good interactions.
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You know what I'm saying?
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I feel like I'm just gonna be interacting with you.
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Yeah.
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So anyway, so yeah, this week with adults was a trying week, but I made it through.
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I'm still alive.
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That's all you can ask for.
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And I still care about people, and I will still fight the good fight.
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Well, not all you can ask for, but that's that's good.
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Enough.
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Yeah.
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It's enough.
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And you go on and you keep on living.
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Mm-hmm.
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Anyways, that's it.
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How was your week?
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My week was good until today.
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Oh.
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Yeah.
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Everything was good, you know.
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Um, the kids were off the chain because they knew the break was coming.
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Of course.
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So I had to shut them down yesterday.
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Today, you know, we had subs because we had to plan, all the specialist team, we had to plan for like um, we got all these different, like, um, they got an art uh walk, they got math night, so the like the the math I forgot her job.
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Like um coach, math coach.
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Yeah, and then you know, they got the literacy night, then they got the music um performances, and then we got the run.
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Fundraiser run, right.
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Then I got Field Day.
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I was like, we'll talk about Field Day a little bit.
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We kind of talked about it though.
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Um we recapped how things went with the football, welcome back football thing.
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So we were meeting, you know, it was productive, we planned enough.
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Uh I was upset we didn't order no food as a group, but it's all good.
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I'm starving right now.
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Oh, we're gonna hurry up so we can.
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But this morning, um, I'm going out to do carpool duty.
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And one of our office staff, she said, Oh, that lady just hit somebody's car.
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And I said, What?
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What what lady?
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She said, right there in that blue uh rad four.
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I said, Oh, right, right, oh, right there.
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I said, I know you in line.
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And um, she said, Yeah, that lex is right there.
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I said, That's my car.
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She said, I mean, hustle officials.
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She said, You just got it.
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I said, Yes, I just got it.
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I said, I don't even have no real tag.
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Yeah, I got the paper tag still.
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And so I go over there to the to the to the reef vehicle.
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The lady like pulled out a little bit, and the front, like where the light is.
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It didn't break the light, but it like got a nice gash in the bumper in the top part.
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Um, it's a big black where it pulled all the silver off of it.
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And then um her little car is just dented up.
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I thought my bumper would have been worse because I was uh, you know, looking at her car, the side door panel, it's like pushed in.
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So she was like trying to get in there.
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And I was like, yo, and she was like looking, she was like, Oh, excuse me, I have to go, I have to go.
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I said, hold up, you can't go nowhere yet.
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We need your inch, your insurance information.
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She was like, why?
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Why?
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I said, This is my car.
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You hit.
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She said, Oh, well, I have to go.
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I'll be back.
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I'll be back.
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I I need to go home and change clothes.
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I'll be back.
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I said, No, ma'am, I need your your your lights.
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I said your license or your uh registration.
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I sound like police license registration, please.
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I said, just give me insurance.
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I said, just give me insurance, because and I said, I know we got because if you're a sub for the school, we got the stuff.
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She was a substitute that day.
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And she was an older lady.
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And so she was like, I'm so sorry.
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And so, and I was like, look, she said, I I fixed the mirror.
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I said, What nothing wrong with the mirror, baby?
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The mirror, I said, the mirror stays closed.
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She opened it back up.
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And I said, You hit the bumper.
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What?
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I did what?
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And she didn't even get out.
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And so I took pictures, took a video, walked around it, and then she was getting kind of scared and kind of, you know, anxious.
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I said, ooh, so I stood back.
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I said, the optics don't look good.
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Um, cause Sharissa was right there too, that's how I helped.
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And I said, ooh, the optics don't look good.
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I said, let me back up a little bit.
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And so I backed up.
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Um, I mean Shanice, yeah.
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I backed up and I said, Oh, God.
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Uh, okay.
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Well, took a picture of Bam.
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And uh, she said, I'll be back, I'll be back.
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I said, Um, all right, go.
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So she left.
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And she actually came back um later, um, parked on the other side.
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But I was like, and the good thing about it, I wasn't even supposed to like go where I was going, because it's one of our coworkers' jobs to put the cones out.
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But sometimes if I get there early, I go ahead and do it just so he don't have to, you know.
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And so I was walking out there, boom, boom, boom, putting the cone.
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And if I wouldn't have walked out there, she probably wouldn't have seen me and she probably would have waited, and the lady probably would have pulled off before, and we wouldn't have known who really hit it.
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And so I was like, golly.
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And then I was like, why does she have to change clothes?
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She just got there and she signed in, got her badge because she had a- she dooded on herself or something.
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Um, that's what they said happened.
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Oh, she doodled on herself.
00:14:00.159 --> 00:14:01.200
She pooped on herself.
00:14:01.440 --> 00:14:04.879
And maybe she was rushing in trying to get to the toilet and missed it.
00:14:05.120 --> 00:14:06.480
I don't know if she was trying to miss it.
00:14:06.559 --> 00:14:08.080
I don't even think that was the case.
00:14:08.320 --> 00:14:10.879
I think it was probably just loose something.
00:14:10.960 --> 00:14:11.440
I don't know.
00:14:11.600 --> 00:14:12.879
But anyway, that's what they say.
00:14:12.960 --> 00:14:15.360
They say, yeah, they found out that she messed her clothes.
00:14:15.440 --> 00:14:20.320
And I said before, after they and the um, they was like, no, before she hit your car.
00:14:20.559 --> 00:14:22.399
So she probably was trying to get into that bathroom.
00:14:22.960 --> 00:14:24.480
She was trying to get home to her chanco.
00:14:25.120 --> 00:14:27.679
But I mean, before, I bet she was trying to get to the bathroom first.
00:14:27.919 --> 00:14:29.200
Oh, maybe make it.
00:14:29.440 --> 00:14:30.159
Yeah, probably didn't.
00:14:30.240 --> 00:14:32.720
But Oh no, little lady.
00:14:32.960 --> 00:14:33.519
Hey.
00:14:33.759 --> 00:14:34.080
Oh.
00:14:34.559 --> 00:14:35.840
So she got insurance.
00:14:36.000 --> 00:14:37.679
So we did the police report.
00:14:37.759 --> 00:14:45.679
We had to wait for the the school police to come because uh it's they consider that private property, so it's handled by them as opposed to the county.
00:14:45.840 --> 00:14:46.159
Okay.
00:14:46.399 --> 00:14:49.600
So they said uh the lady did, she said, all right, cool.
00:14:49.759 --> 00:14:53.039
Um, so we're off next week because we're out of school.
00:14:53.200 --> 00:14:56.000
I was like, the police shouldn't be out of school.
00:14:56.399 --> 00:14:58.720
There's no schools for him to watch, for her to watch.
00:14:58.879 --> 00:15:00.559
They mean drive around, don't they?
00:15:00.799 --> 00:15:02.559
That's a waste of no, they don't need to be there.
00:15:02.639 --> 00:15:03.200
There are no schools.
00:15:04.240 --> 00:15:05.360
There's nobody on staff.
00:15:05.440 --> 00:15:07.360
They there are probably certain police that are for the county.
00:15:07.679 --> 00:15:09.279
But anyway, I said, dang.
00:15:09.440 --> 00:15:11.679
She said, so it won't be this Friday coming up.
00:15:11.759 --> 00:15:12.559
It'll be the next Friday.
00:15:12.960 --> 00:15:13.679
Then what will happen?
00:15:13.840 --> 00:15:16.159
That my uh insurance will be ready.
00:15:16.480 --> 00:15:18.559
She needs to have that done before she goes to break.
00:15:18.720 --> 00:15:25.840
I can't get no, like it's I mean, we're riding around with a scratched up side of the car face until.
00:15:26.080 --> 00:15:27.759
You can still file your insurance thing.
00:15:27.919 --> 00:15:30.159
Yeah, but you they can't do anything until the report.
00:15:30.240 --> 00:15:32.159
Because then you have to see who's at fault.
00:15:32.480 --> 00:15:33.919
I did all that part because that's what they said.
00:15:34.000 --> 00:15:35.279
She said, go ahead and call your insurance.
00:15:35.360 --> 00:15:36.720
Oh, you let them know that the report is.
00:15:36.960 --> 00:15:38.159
Did you call her insurance?
00:15:38.399 --> 00:15:39.759
No, I hadn't called hers yet.
00:15:39.919 --> 00:15:43.039
Well, because it said just go ahead, because um And yours, our insurance will call their insurance.
00:15:43.279 --> 00:15:44.799
Because I filled out all her information from there.
00:15:45.039 --> 00:15:49.039
And it said we'll reach out and then we'll contact you to see what else we need.
00:15:49.200 --> 00:15:49.519
Oh, okay.
00:15:49.759 --> 00:15:52.320
Because I didn't get her actual license, I just got the thing.
00:15:52.480 --> 00:15:52.639
Okay.
00:15:52.799 --> 00:15:55.440
You know, and I ain't wanna, because you know I was like, I'm not gonna ask for the license.
00:15:55.519 --> 00:15:58.320
If something happened future, you know, in the future by the license.
00:15:58.480 --> 00:15:59.440
Oh, that black.
00:15:59.840 --> 00:16:00.399
Yeah, you know.
00:16:00.799 --> 00:16:02.799
So I was trying to be easy about that.
00:16:02.960 --> 00:16:04.240
I was thinking on my feet.
00:16:04.480 --> 00:16:12.559
And so uh, but you know, like I said, man, it's it's uh I hate it because now the car, Carfax is always gonna have the accident thing on there.
00:16:12.720 --> 00:16:22.559
But then I was reading the insurance, it said, um, make sure you you like when I because I want to I get it fixed at the Lexus place, because they have an actual collision center.
00:16:22.720 --> 00:16:30.960
It's called diminishing value, um, something like notification of diminishing value reef refund or something like that.
00:16:31.360 --> 00:16:40.480
So I think it's saying where I can add extra because what the accident has just um decreased my value for the car.
00:16:41.279 --> 00:16:43.519
So I can we can get that from the insurance company.
00:16:43.840 --> 00:16:45.039
From her insurance company?
00:16:45.519 --> 00:16:46.240
Uh okay.
00:16:46.480 --> 00:16:47.279
Oh money back.
00:16:47.519 --> 00:16:47.840
Yes.
00:16:48.000 --> 00:16:49.120
Oh, because you just yeah.
00:16:49.360 --> 00:16:50.240
Right, you know what I mean.
00:16:50.480 --> 00:16:51.840
So who said that you read that?
00:16:52.080 --> 00:16:54.080
Well, I did my research, our buddy.
00:16:54.639 --> 00:16:55.120
Research, buddy.
00:16:55.440 --> 00:16:59.200
But you need to let but would you have to let your insurance company know that?
00:16:59.360 --> 00:17:02.240
Or is that uh I got it in my phone goal from the phone?
00:17:02.480 --> 00:17:03.360
I'm gonna I don't know.
00:17:03.440 --> 00:17:05.039
I'm gonna do I'm gonna ask them first.
00:17:05.440 --> 00:17:06.000
Our insurance first.
00:17:06.160 --> 00:17:10.880
Yeah, I'm gonna ask our insurance first, and then I'll go through the legal uh thing.
00:17:10.960 --> 00:17:23.039
And then but they said definitely when you do when it when you do the collision, tell them it's by doing it at the Lexus place because they, you know, certified and all that stuff, they do the certified repairs.
00:17:23.200 --> 00:17:30.400
So then they could say yes, an accident like this will diminish the value by X amount, and they it's a s they do it through the certification of Lexus.
00:17:30.640 --> 00:17:30.960
Oh, okay.
00:17:31.119 --> 00:17:31.359
Yeah.
00:17:31.519 --> 00:17:31.839
Okay.
00:17:32.559 --> 00:17:33.599
So there we go.
00:17:33.759 --> 00:17:35.200
But it still rides good.
00:17:35.359 --> 00:17:36.319
She's still smooth.
00:17:36.480 --> 00:17:39.680
I don't know about the light part yet, though, because I haven't turned the lights on.
00:17:39.759 --> 00:17:40.000
Yeah.
00:17:40.079 --> 00:17:42.240
And then I'm um do the signal and all that stuff.
00:17:42.319 --> 00:17:44.079
So we'll we'll do that tonight, you know.
00:17:44.640 --> 00:17:48.480
Um, but other than that, guys, like my wife said, still alive.
00:17:48.720 --> 00:17:50.079
Still alive still here.
00:17:50.240 --> 00:17:51.920
It's all that we can ask for.
00:17:52.160 --> 00:17:52.799
Yeah.
00:17:54.160 --> 00:17:55.119
That's it.
00:17:55.680 --> 00:17:58.480
All right, let's talk about speaking of cars.
00:17:58.720 --> 00:18:00.640
Let's get into this believe it sister.
00:18:00.799 --> 00:18:01.599
Did you read it?
00:18:01.920 --> 00:18:03.279
I did read it.
00:18:03.599 --> 00:18:10.079
So on Believe It Sister, there was a young lady.
00:18:10.400 --> 00:18:13.440
Um, and she read the title first.
00:18:13.599 --> 00:18:13.759
Okay.
00:18:14.079 --> 00:18:14.799
Because that's what jumped me.
00:18:14.880 --> 00:18:16.079
I was like, wait a minute, what?
00:18:16.400 --> 00:18:17.279
Okay, hold up.
00:18:17.519 --> 00:18:18.559
And my mind went everywhere.
00:18:18.640 --> 00:18:20.079
I said, What would he do?
00:18:20.319 --> 00:18:29.680
Okay, so the title was Texas Woman's Car Broke Down every time she got into an argument with her boyfriend.
00:18:29.839 --> 00:18:33.039
And a tow truck driver told her why.
00:18:33.359 --> 00:18:38.559
And I didn't read it yet, but I saw the headline and say, Oh, I'm gonna send this to Creed and we can see if we can read it.
00:18:38.799 --> 00:18:41.599
So her name is actually Gina Montana.
00:18:42.079 --> 00:18:46.880
Um, if y'all want to go look at her TikTok, she tells all the deets.
00:18:47.279 --> 00:18:53.039
But anyhooty do, um, she and her boyfriend would get into heated arguments.
00:18:53.279 --> 00:19:03.599
And she said every time um she would get they would get into an argument, she tried to go drive, you know, leave, and her car wouldn't work.
00:19:04.079 --> 00:19:12.400
And so the very first time she, the very first time they had a heated argument, she left, she could leave just fine.
00:19:12.880 --> 00:19:15.759
But then then after is when things started changing.
00:19:15.920 --> 00:19:28.960
Now, her ex was in a previous relationship where when they got into a heated argument um with his ex, she tried to run him over.
00:19:30.000 --> 00:19:32.400
But unlike her.
00:19:32.799 --> 00:19:33.920
Yeah, she was a little chill.
00:19:34.079 --> 00:19:34.960
Yeah, she's chill.
00:19:35.039 --> 00:19:38.319
Like when that when they had a heated argument, she just left.
00:19:38.480 --> 00:19:44.480
The only thing I was like, red flag, why does this man keep having all these heated arguments with women?
00:19:44.720 --> 00:19:45.039
With women.
00:19:45.440 --> 00:19:47.920
Or maybe he likes, maybe he, you know, hey.
00:19:48.240 --> 00:19:49.279
That's the kind of ladies he cheats.
00:19:49.519 --> 00:19:49.680
Right.
00:19:49.759 --> 00:19:50.960
I know some people like that.
00:19:51.359 --> 00:19:53.279
So perhaps that's what it is.
00:19:53.440 --> 00:19:58.160
And so um what would happen is she'd be out.
00:19:58.240 --> 00:20:04.240
So the first few times she'd go out there and try to start a car, and she'd be out there because she don't want to go back in.
00:20:04.480 --> 00:20:18.400
But then after you're out there filling with your car and can't do it, then you gotta call some, you know, she would call the tow truck or whomever, then um by that time she calmed down and then they'd be back good again.
00:20:18.480 --> 00:20:20.000
He's like, What's going on with your car?
00:20:20.240 --> 00:20:29.279
And he'd be like helping her and all things, and she didn't realize, you know, what was going on, and she just knew her car, like she felt like something was going on with her car.
00:20:29.599 --> 00:20:39.680
So finally, one day, I guess she must have gotten the same tow truck person, the person who came to see about the car.
00:20:40.400 --> 00:20:49.920
And so when um they had been out there multiple times for the car, and so um, it was like a pattern.
00:20:50.079 --> 00:20:57.119
And so the tow truck driver was like, Listen, um, you want me to tell you what's going on with your driver.
00:20:57.200 --> 00:20:58.880
So he probably said, wait a minute, hold up.
00:20:59.119 --> 00:21:02.400
You say every time you y'all argue it's not working.
00:21:02.559 --> 00:21:04.160
Yes, and it's some magical.
00:21:05.279 --> 00:21:10.000
So he said that he interfering with this and something is going on.
00:21:10.160 --> 00:21:19.759
So come to find out, the boyfriend was taking the fuse that is for the starter out.
00:21:20.079 --> 00:21:20.400
Okay.
00:21:20.720 --> 00:21:27.759
So when the tow truck driver told her that, she said she tested it out.
00:21:28.000 --> 00:21:33.039
So the next time, and so the tow truck driver showed her, here's the fuse.
00:21:33.440 --> 00:21:33.519
Right.
00:21:33.680 --> 00:21:36.160
Here's where it is, here's how you can fix it yourself.
00:21:36.559 --> 00:21:38.799
If he takes the fuse, here's what you do.
00:21:38.960 --> 00:21:45.039
So the tow truck driver told her what to do to get the car back running if it happens again.
00:21:45.279 --> 00:21:50.000
So he showed, you know, he pulled the, you know, the hood up and showed her all the things.
00:21:50.160 --> 00:21:53.599
So she's tested out the theory that maybe this is what he's doing.
00:21:53.759 --> 00:21:54.000
Right.
00:21:54.160 --> 00:21:56.799
So she made up something where they got to arguing.
00:21:56.960 --> 00:21:59.759
And so she said during the argument, he would be.
00:22:00.160 --> 00:22:00.799
Like the boyfriend did.
00:22:01.200 --> 00:22:02.160
That's what I was about to say.
00:22:02.559 --> 00:22:03.200
What happens?
00:22:03.839 --> 00:22:05.759
So when they get into it, like he does disappear.
00:22:06.000 --> 00:22:06.400
I'm leaving.
00:22:08.319 --> 00:22:09.119
She wasn't gonna chase him.
00:22:09.359 --> 00:22:10.640
No, and she wasn't gonna chase him.
00:22:10.720 --> 00:22:12.319
And that's what he was doing.
00:22:12.960 --> 00:22:18.160
So he whatever, and she got ready to storm off and to leave, and her car wouldn't start.
00:22:18.880 --> 00:22:21.440
And she went to look, and sure enough, that's what he took.
00:22:21.599 --> 00:22:22.799
He took the fuse.
00:22:23.039 --> 00:22:25.599
And so that the she didn't tell him.
00:22:25.839 --> 00:22:26.160
No.
00:22:26.319 --> 00:22:26.480
Okay.
00:22:26.720 --> 00:22:28.000
She had backup fuse.
00:22:28.240 --> 00:22:28.640
That's good.
00:22:28.720 --> 00:22:29.920
That's what I was hoping she did.
00:22:30.079 --> 00:22:30.400
Good job.
00:22:30.559 --> 00:22:31.359
Good job, huh?
00:22:31.599 --> 00:22:37.519
And so she put her little fuse in there and took right on off.
00:22:38.319 --> 00:22:40.000
And took right on off.
00:22:40.240 --> 00:22:44.480
And so, um, so I don't know.
00:22:44.559 --> 00:22:48.960
I feel like that is definitely a red flag.
00:22:49.200 --> 00:22:51.039
It's it's petty, for sure.
00:22:51.680 --> 00:22:56.079
Is is it is it it's a red flag, but is it petty or is it fear?
00:22:56.400 --> 00:23:01.359
Because if somebody else tried to run you over before No, it ain't fear.
00:23:01.440 --> 00:23:01.519
No.
00:23:01.839 --> 00:23:06.799
Because chances are he probably wasn't at by the car.
00:23:07.359 --> 00:23:10.240
Because you said she would then go inside and apologize.
00:23:10.480 --> 00:23:10.880
Yes.
00:23:11.039 --> 00:23:12.400
So he wasn't afraid of her running.
00:23:12.640 --> 00:23:13.519
How you gonna run over in the car?
00:23:13.759 --> 00:23:14.960
Well, she wouldn't apologize.
00:23:15.200 --> 00:23:16.799
It's just like she wouldn't be mad anymore.
00:23:17.039 --> 00:23:17.519
Oh, okay.
00:23:17.680 --> 00:23:18.319
Well, still.
00:23:18.400 --> 00:23:18.720
Yeah.
00:23:18.960 --> 00:23:22.079
If you're not by the car, you know what I'm saying?
00:23:22.240 --> 00:23:24.000
How are you gonna get run over?
00:23:24.319 --> 00:23:24.640
Yeah.
00:23:24.799 --> 00:23:29.359
And to me, that's kind of like it's almost like trapping you.
00:23:30.000 --> 00:23:32.079
It's almost like saying you can't leave.
00:23:32.799 --> 00:23:34.640
So that would bother me.
00:23:34.960 --> 00:23:35.279
Yeah.
00:23:35.440 --> 00:23:42.640
That that that is what you would go to that extreme so that I can't leave.
00:23:42.880 --> 00:23:45.920
I think that's a step above I don't know.
00:23:46.240 --> 00:23:50.319
Like, you know, when people argue and then they take somebody's keys, they give me the keys.
00:23:50.640 --> 00:23:51.839
Give me my keys, I'll go home.
00:23:51.920 --> 00:24:00.480
Give me my no, nope, nope, you know, but like how is is that worse taking the keys or which one's worse?
00:24:00.640 --> 00:24:04.480
Taking the keys or still in the fuse and not letting you know that the fuse is gone.
00:24:04.960 --> 00:24:08.160
The other, still in the fuse and you can't go.
00:24:08.799 --> 00:24:14.960
To me, that's less, I won't say dramatic, but confrontational, right?
00:24:15.200 --> 00:24:17.200
Because now y'all fight now over something different.
00:24:18.319 --> 00:24:19.599
So y'all were fighting over this.
00:24:19.680 --> 00:24:22.559
Now you're fighting because he got your keys, so you're still fighting.
00:24:22.799 --> 00:24:26.880
Whereas this is like very calm, cool, collected.
00:24:27.039 --> 00:24:28.400
Oh, your car won't start.
00:24:28.559 --> 00:24:28.720
Yeah.
00:24:28.880 --> 00:24:33.359
And you're mad because you know when your car ain't starting, and if it happened again, you beating the steering wheel.
00:24:33.519 --> 00:24:34.640
God damn it, goddamn.
00:24:35.119 --> 00:24:36.880
Yeah, because you didn't know.
00:24:37.279 --> 00:24:37.519
Yeah.
00:24:37.599 --> 00:24:41.200
So and he just yeah, and you can't go nowhere.
00:24:41.359 --> 00:24:43.680
And he just like, oh my gosh, what's happening?
00:24:43.839 --> 00:24:45.200
Let me see, let me see if I can't help you.
00:24:45.279 --> 00:24:47.200
And he's been telling all the boys, oh, get what I do.
00:24:47.359 --> 00:24:48.640
I go in there, we be fine.
00:24:48.880 --> 00:24:50.319
I take that boyfucker starter.
00:24:50.480 --> 00:24:51.759
She can't go nowhere, bitch.
00:24:51.839 --> 00:24:51.920
Yeah.
00:24:52.079 --> 00:24:52.799
You can't go nowhere.
00:24:52.880 --> 00:24:53.920
She said, right at the house.
00:24:54.000 --> 00:24:54.160
Yeah.
00:24:54.319 --> 00:24:57.279
And she told Todd, I go in there, fix, do my little thing, eh?
00:24:57.680 --> 00:24:58.720
Next thing you know, she good.
00:24:58.799 --> 00:25:00.400
It's hey, baby, you need me.
00:25:00.640 --> 00:25:03.759
Yeah, and that tow truck driver, I like him.
00:25:03.839 --> 00:25:04.160
Yeah.
00:25:04.640 --> 00:25:07.839
Because the fact that he was like, let me tell you what's going on, girl.
00:25:08.079 --> 00:25:14.000
I wonder if he knew immediately or he was like, that one day it happened, and then the next day he was like, hold up.
00:25:14.960 --> 00:25:16.880
Oh, you know, I bet he did.
00:25:17.039 --> 00:25:19.039
I bet he took her fuse from her starter.
00:25:19.200 --> 00:25:20.960
Because why is her fuse always gone?
00:25:21.039 --> 00:25:22.400
Yeah, he probably didn't even check it.
00:25:22.559 --> 00:25:26.319
But it's just the fact that, you know, a local told, and then she had the number.
00:25:26.480 --> 00:25:27.200
You know what I mean?
00:25:27.279 --> 00:25:29.759
She had the number, and so she was like, yo, I'm gonna call him.
00:25:29.839 --> 00:25:31.759
And then he was like, yo, I'm gonna check him out.
00:25:31.920 --> 00:25:37.599
Oh, that is true because your car could not start for a number of reasons.
00:25:38.160 --> 00:25:38.720
Mm-hmm.
00:25:39.440 --> 00:25:39.680
Yeah.
00:25:40.079 --> 00:25:41.839
And he was like, wait a minute.
00:25:42.240 --> 00:25:46.079
Cause she said, you know what, it's something wrong.
00:25:46.240 --> 00:25:47.039
And so he just checked.
00:25:47.200 --> 00:25:50.160
He was like, Well, well, you know, look, girls, car ain't started.
00:25:50.559 --> 00:25:55.359
Because sometimes they try to start it too to see if they can get it off the truck, you know, easier and stuff like that.
00:25:55.519 --> 00:25:58.000
Or when they do get it all this, no, I'm gonna see what's going on with it.
00:25:58.160 --> 00:26:03.039
You think the truck toad driver saw her and was like, she kind of fine.
00:26:03.119 --> 00:26:04.319
Let me figure out what's going on.
00:26:04.559 --> 00:26:04.880
I don't know.
00:26:05.440 --> 00:26:07.039
That depends on if she's kind of fine.
00:26:07.279 --> 00:26:07.759
Well, I don't know.
00:26:08.079 --> 00:26:10.000
If she ain't kind of fine, he probably didn't say it.
00:26:10.079 --> 00:26:10.799
Well, I mean, but everybody.
00:26:11.759 --> 00:26:12.480
There's somebody for everybody.
00:26:12.720 --> 00:26:14.720
Would you, would you, well, you would.
00:26:14.880 --> 00:26:16.079
I think I think you would.
00:26:16.240 --> 00:26:19.279
Would you say, like, if you knew that that's what it was, would you tell her?
00:26:19.359 --> 00:26:19.680
Yeah.
00:26:19.839 --> 00:26:20.240
Uh-huh.
00:26:20.480 --> 00:26:24.960
I'd be like, look, you say what you say it again?
00:26:25.039 --> 00:26:29.440
And she'd be like, every time we argue, my car won't start.
00:26:30.400 --> 00:26:30.720
Okay.
00:26:32.240 --> 00:26:33.359
Let me show you something.
00:26:33.519 --> 00:26:34.559
Check this out.
00:26:35.279 --> 00:26:38.240
And I say, um, you probably don't know how to drive.
00:26:38.319 --> 00:26:40.079
Like I have a I have a car, start a car.
00:26:40.160 --> 00:26:40.799
See, it worked right now.
00:26:41.359 --> 00:26:41.920
Yeah, it worked.
00:26:42.000 --> 00:26:42.480
Yeah, it worked.
00:26:42.720 --> 00:26:43.440
You know, she be cool.
00:26:43.519 --> 00:26:44.880
I say, you probably don't know how to drive.
00:26:45.039 --> 00:26:45.680
Yes, I do.
00:26:45.839 --> 00:26:46.400
Yes, I do.
00:26:46.559 --> 00:26:48.000
And then I go in there and pull that starter.
00:26:48.160 --> 00:26:49.759
I say, okay, well, try to start your car.
00:26:49.839 --> 00:26:50.559
Let's see.
00:26:51.119 --> 00:26:53.920
And then she'll start saying, Oh, you and I, we argue.
00:26:54.079 --> 00:26:55.759
Your car still won't start what's going on?
00:26:55.839 --> 00:26:57.519
And I'll play with her like that just a little bit.
00:26:57.599 --> 00:26:59.680
I say, sweetheart, look, look, look, I just made a point.
00:26:59.839 --> 00:27:00.960
You see this piece right here?
00:27:01.039 --> 00:27:02.640
It ain't because y'all arguing.
00:27:02.880 --> 00:27:06.400
It's because that dude you mess with, messing with you.
00:27:06.559 --> 00:27:08.400
Put it in there, watch it start it.
00:27:10.640 --> 00:27:11.759
I know you lie.
00:27:12.319 --> 00:27:13.440
I know you lie.
00:27:14.000 --> 00:27:14.880
And I'll be laughing.
00:27:15.039 --> 00:27:16.799
I'll be saying, girl, yay.
00:27:17.200 --> 00:27:17.680
Hey.
00:27:18.000 --> 00:27:24.880
Okay, so then on top of that, why do you think he won't allow her to go and walk away?
00:27:25.200 --> 00:27:27.759
Because some men are just petty like women.
00:27:28.079 --> 00:27:29.119
They like mess too.
00:27:29.359 --> 00:27:40.559
But in a relationship, should if it's a heated argument or an argument, should the other person be allowed to leave or walk away?
00:27:40.880 --> 00:27:45.519
I think it uh depends on the the the the depth of the relationship.
00:27:46.240 --> 00:27:46.960
What does that mean?
00:27:47.039 --> 00:27:47.839
The depth, depth of the relationship.
00:27:48.000 --> 00:27:52.400
If it's if it's not as as serious and she's gonna just walk away, all right, bet bye.
00:27:52.640 --> 00:27:52.880
Okay.
00:27:52.960 --> 00:27:54.000
What if it is a long term?
00:27:56.480 --> 00:28:00.240
Because when you do that, we're gonna that's what we're gonna do now, because that's the most comfortable thing to do.
00:28:00.400 --> 00:28:00.799
Mm-hmm.
00:28:02.000 --> 00:28:04.880
So what's the same thing with any relationship, with a parent-child relationship?
00:28:04.960 --> 00:28:05.839
Your child just bounced away.
00:28:05.920 --> 00:28:06.400
Okay, you know what?
00:28:06.480 --> 00:28:07.839
I'm gonna let him just walk away.
00:28:08.000 --> 00:28:09.039
No, we don't do that.
00:28:09.119 --> 00:28:14.319
They have to sit in the moment so we can talk this or learn how to handle, have conversation.
00:28:16.160 --> 00:28:19.440
But what if a person struggles with that?
00:28:19.839 --> 00:28:21.039
We gotta work on it.
00:28:21.279 --> 00:28:24.480
So they can are they, okay, what if they don't leave?
00:28:24.640 --> 00:28:29.680
Are they, is it still okay for them to have a moment where they're like, I just need some time?
00:28:30.000 --> 00:28:39.599
If we if we're present and we want to work on this relationship, or or we plan on being in this relationship, then yes, you can stay, you can stay present and you can stay quiet for a second.
00:28:40.720 --> 00:28:50.559
But also at the same time, now if he's respecting the fact that you don't want to talk, like what I do, I you might not want to talk, but I know you can hear still.
00:28:50.640 --> 00:28:51.920
You can't turn them ears off.
00:28:52.160 --> 00:28:53.519
So I'm gonna say my piece.
00:28:53.759 --> 00:29:00.480
Okay, but him going as far as to take the fuse out, w is that controlling behavior?
00:29:00.799 --> 00:29:04.559
That's I would say, yeah, that's controlling behavior.
00:29:04.640 --> 00:29:07.440
Because that's like stealing keys, throwing keys somewhere.
00:29:07.839 --> 00:29:08.799
You know what I'm saying?
00:29:08.960 --> 00:29:09.519
Yeah.
00:29:09.759 --> 00:29:11.119
Yeah, that's what that is.
00:29:12.000 --> 00:29:20.559
So in that case, if you're dating somebody and you don't like that, that's how they handle conflict, then the then it's kind of like then you shouldn't be dating that person.
00:29:20.640 --> 00:29:22.319
I mean, like that, that's not the person for you to date.
00:29:22.559 --> 00:29:28.319
Yeah, if you don't, if you can't handle conflict and y'all are having conflict often, that's not the person for you to be dating.
00:29:28.960 --> 00:29:32.240
You don't want no, if you don't want to stay in, if you don't want to stay and kind of talk it.
00:29:32.319 --> 00:29:35.279
I know most people say, nah, I gotta leave, I gotta say, we ain't talking.
00:29:35.440 --> 00:29:45.680
You know, hey, okay, well, I'm just saying, if that's what you feel for yourself, don't be disappointed when what the other person decides is something you don't like.
00:29:45.920 --> 00:29:52.640
Then if we keep letting each other do what we want to do separately, we're never gonna do anything together, work on anything together.
00:29:52.799 --> 00:30:00.799
That's why I use the example of a kid, because we tell a kid, no, we kind of teaching them how to behave in situations.
00:30:01.119 --> 00:30:06.400
We're, as couples, always teaching each other how to behave with each other in situations.
00:30:06.640 --> 00:30:07.599
Because we say what?
00:30:07.759 --> 00:30:10.400
Teach people how to treat you, teach people how to love you.
00:30:11.119 --> 00:30:11.920
You see what I'm saying?
00:30:12.240 --> 00:30:13.759
And they don't know if you don't tell them.
00:30:14.000 --> 00:30:14.319
No.
00:30:14.880 --> 00:30:21.359
And and and even you may be helping that person out by not letting them always walk away from the problem when it gets heated.
00:30:23.039 --> 00:30:29.279
That may be why they are couple or mate number 25, because it's so easy to bounce and walk away.
00:30:29.839 --> 00:30:33.920
As opposed to really just sitting down and finally listening to it.
00:30:34.240 --> 00:30:38.559
Because sometimes the intention could not be have been to harm.
00:30:38.640 --> 00:30:40.720
The intention, the intention could have been right.
00:30:40.880 --> 00:30:42.079
The actions could have been wrong.
00:30:42.319 --> 00:30:43.039
What do you mean?
00:30:43.200 --> 00:30:52.640
Like the person could have been trying to say something um helpful or do something helpful, but the action that they did it was wrong.
00:30:52.799 --> 00:31:03.359
Like, let's say, for example, a couple argues that they were uh that he came home late or whatever, or he he turned his uh uh uh stuff off, um, location off.
00:31:03.599 --> 00:31:03.839
Okay.
00:31:04.079 --> 00:31:04.480
Right?
00:31:04.720 --> 00:31:07.759
What if he was out trying to get her a surprise or something?
00:31:08.400 --> 00:31:11.759
And then I don't want her to know, because she looked, why you at the mall?
00:31:11.920 --> 00:31:13.039
I want to surprise her.
00:31:13.359 --> 00:31:14.079
You see what I'm saying?
00:31:14.240 --> 00:31:16.319
But she fussing about the location being off.
00:31:16.960 --> 00:31:20.720
Um and then maybe he took a long time to shop and get what he exactly what he wants.
00:31:20.880 --> 00:31:23.839
This mall probably didn't have it, so he goes to the one across town.
00:31:24.160 --> 00:31:28.480
So she's mad he took his location off, and he didn't come home the time he said he was gonna come home.
00:31:28.880 --> 00:31:30.240
She's pissed about all of that.
00:31:30.400 --> 00:31:30.720
Okay.
00:31:31.119 --> 00:31:34.240
So his intentions were right.
00:31:34.559 --> 00:31:35.039
Right.
00:31:35.440 --> 00:31:39.039
But the actions that he did were probably wrong in her eyes.
00:31:39.119 --> 00:31:39.920
You see what I'm saying?
00:31:40.000 --> 00:31:40.640
Yeah.
00:31:41.759 --> 00:31:45.279
But she got upset because, and then she don't even want to hear it.
00:31:45.440 --> 00:31:45.920
Mm-hmm.
00:31:47.039 --> 00:31:54.880
And then if he's mad, if he's if he's like, I think I'm trying to do right for you, and now we arguing on something that it was supposed to be a happy moment.
00:31:55.200 --> 00:32:01.519
I think it just I don't, well, I can't say every woman, but I mean how every w woman would respond.
00:32:01.920 --> 00:32:06.000
The only way I would think if it like they will if it were you.
00:32:06.720 --> 00:32:13.279
The only way that I would be upset if I'm like looking like this and that, you came home late, blah, blah, blah.
00:32:13.519 --> 00:32:22.079
I think when people are doing that and they're still upset, it's because something else has happened prior to, like, this is not the first time.
00:32:22.480 --> 00:32:28.240
So it makes them feel like what is going what because I wouldn't think that for you.
00:32:28.400 --> 00:32:35.920
But if it was something that was like repeated kind of like behavior, then I think that's what people can't let go.
00:32:36.160 --> 00:32:40.240
But sometimes it's not even the repeated behavior from that individual.
00:32:40.799 --> 00:32:43.039
It's repeated behavior from people in their pairs.
00:32:43.119 --> 00:32:43.279
Yeah.
00:32:43.680 --> 00:32:46.559
And they don't and they pick they done boxed him in it or her in it.
00:32:46.799 --> 00:32:47.440
That could be.
00:32:54.000 --> 00:32:58.880
I know I can't trust, you know, Nick ain't it ain't you know, all that's that is true.
00:32:59.119 --> 00:33:00.559
That could that could be.
00:33:00.720 --> 00:33:01.599
That could be.
00:33:01.839 --> 00:33:21.440
And but okay, even with that, if you know that that is your person you are with that they did have previous relationships that were that way, then them being upset and you saying that is there a bit of understanding that should come with it?
00:33:21.839 --> 00:33:24.480
It is, but there's only so much.
00:33:24.640 --> 00:33:25.039
Yeah.
00:33:25.200 --> 00:33:31.200
Like in my single times, if I'm gonna constantly get judged by the ex, I'm out.
00:33:31.440 --> 00:33:31.839
Mm-hmm.
00:33:32.240 --> 00:33:34.319
Cause I already told you I'm not down.
00:33:34.559 --> 00:33:35.039
Mm-hmm.
00:33:35.359 --> 00:33:36.000
You know what I mean?
00:33:36.160 --> 00:33:37.599
And so I'm I don't have time.
00:33:37.839 --> 00:33:40.319
Well, and that also says that person's not ready to date.
00:33:40.480 --> 00:33:40.720
Yeah.
00:33:40.799 --> 00:33:43.279
And you know, I I feel like you you're wasting valuable time.
00:33:43.359 --> 00:33:46.880
There's a there's a Tinderoni out there waiting for you.
00:33:47.119 --> 00:33:48.960
Yeah, and and she wasting her time.
00:33:49.119 --> 00:33:53.680
These day every day I'm here is a day that I could have been closer to her, saving her from the streets.
00:33:53.839 --> 00:33:54.400
Oh my god.
00:33:54.559 --> 00:33:55.359
You see what I'm saying?
00:33:55.680 --> 00:33:56.799
That's what happened.
00:33:57.119 --> 00:33:58.480
Well, that is true.
00:33:58.640 --> 00:34:10.480
And if you are and you can't let your other person be and enjoy them because you're so scared they're gonna do you like the previous person, then you aren't ready to date because you aren't healed.
00:34:10.719 --> 00:34:11.440
Not ready, yep.
00:34:11.599 --> 00:34:15.039
You need to work on you and that part because you aren't ready.
00:34:15.280 --> 00:34:20.960
Um, and I think that's where these continued heated arguments, because that's ridiculous.
00:34:21.519 --> 00:34:28.960
It's ridiculous that you've had enough of these where you tried to leave and you couldn't for a tow truck driver to see.
00:34:29.119 --> 00:34:30.320
To see your pattern.
00:34:30.559 --> 00:34:30.960
Yes.
00:34:32.239 --> 00:34:33.760
Well, he can solve the mystery.
00:34:34.000 --> 00:34:34.639
Yes.
00:34:34.800 --> 00:34:35.679
That's a problem.
00:34:35.920 --> 00:34:36.719
To solve the mystery.
00:34:37.119 --> 00:34:37.440
Why?
00:34:37.599 --> 00:34:40.079
Why how how you how'd that happen?
00:34:40.239 --> 00:34:41.679
And he's picking you up from his creed.
00:34:41.920 --> 00:34:42.159
Yes.
00:34:42.400 --> 00:34:43.840
Every time it seems like yes.
00:34:44.000 --> 00:34:44.639
So the same thing.
00:34:45.119 --> 00:34:47.440
Because it ain't gonna do no good if you got your own place.
00:34:48.079 --> 00:34:49.679
And then you take my fuse.
00:34:49.920 --> 00:34:50.239
Yeah.
00:34:50.480 --> 00:34:51.679
I'm I'm here at the house.
00:34:51.760 --> 00:34:53.280
I might not even have to go to work.
00:34:53.440 --> 00:34:53.760
Yeah.
00:34:53.920 --> 00:34:57.599
Like, like, okay, let's say the uh Labor Day, Memorial Day, right?
00:34:57.920 --> 00:34:59.599
You wouldn't have known until it's time to go to work.
00:34:59.760 --> 00:35:01.280
Oh, yeah, because you didn't go nowhere.
00:35:01.440 --> 00:35:01.840
Oh well.
00:35:02.559 --> 00:35:03.519
The whole weekend.
00:35:03.679 --> 00:35:04.960
The whole weekend labor day.
00:35:05.360 --> 00:35:07.440
Damn, she ain't called talking about her car won't break.
00:35:07.760 --> 00:35:08.239
It broke down.
00:35:08.480 --> 00:35:10.079
Cause listen, this is wake up Saturday.
00:35:10.159 --> 00:35:10.559
This is the page.
00:35:10.719 --> 00:35:12.559
She still ain't called pajamas all day.
00:35:12.719 --> 00:35:13.599
Wake up Sunday.
00:35:13.760 --> 00:35:14.960
She still ain't called.
00:35:15.119 --> 00:35:15.840
No, I don't care.
00:35:16.000 --> 00:35:20.079
Then Monday going to work, next thing you know, so hey, you made it to work.
00:35:20.239 --> 00:35:22.400
No, I had to call out because I couldn't even get it.
00:35:22.800 --> 00:35:24.400
I said, Oh, finally, God.
00:35:25.280 --> 00:35:26.320
Three days later.
00:35:26.559 --> 00:35:27.519
Like SpongeBob.
00:35:27.920 --> 00:35:29.440
Three days later.
00:35:29.760 --> 00:35:31.440
Yeah, that's quite ridiculous.
00:35:31.599 --> 00:35:33.519
But I'm That's the games they play, though.
00:35:33.599 --> 00:35:34.079
You can tell.
00:35:34.239 --> 00:35:34.480
Yeah.
00:35:35.199 --> 00:35:38.159
And chat, I wonder how old they are, but that's just too much.
00:35:38.320 --> 00:35:42.880
But um But that's hey, I'm gonna tell you, that's one for the books, though.
00:35:43.039 --> 00:35:46.400
Anybody wanna You don't wanna leave, take a fuse.
00:35:46.639 --> 00:35:47.760
Yeah, take a fuse.
00:35:48.079 --> 00:35:49.519
Hey, get them.
00:35:49.840 --> 00:35:56.960
I thought when I read, I said, oh, I wonder was he like I but I that would be very obvious because of course I'm not a mechanical.
00:35:57.440 --> 00:36:00.000
I was like, man, what did he take her battery out of the car?
00:36:00.480 --> 00:36:01.440
That's what I was thinking.
00:36:01.760 --> 00:36:03.119
Because you're gonna look, then somebody stole my battery.
00:36:03.840 --> 00:36:05.039
But it depends on where you live, too.
00:36:05.199 --> 00:36:05.599
That is true.
00:36:06.880 --> 00:36:11.119
But I thought as a woman, like, did she even like I wouldn't go look under the hood?
00:36:11.199 --> 00:36:12.480
Like, what's going on in here?
00:36:12.719 --> 00:36:13.519
Like, because I don't know.
00:36:14.239 --> 00:36:16.079
So I would never even look under the hood to even.
00:36:16.400 --> 00:36:16.800
Someone knew.
00:36:17.039 --> 00:36:17.599
Yes, yeah, someone.
00:36:17.920 --> 00:36:18.960
Yeah, I wouldn't look to know.
00:36:19.199 --> 00:36:21.039
Because that ain't obvious, like my homeboy.
00:36:21.199 --> 00:36:22.239
I had to take him.
00:36:22.400 --> 00:36:24.400
Um, he he was dating this girl.
00:36:24.480 --> 00:36:30.960
She was a local at the school we was going to um when I played football back in the days, and she flat all four of his tires.
00:36:31.119 --> 00:36:31.519
Oh, God.
00:36:31.679 --> 00:36:33.360
I'm talking about all four.
00:36:33.679 --> 00:36:34.000
Man.
00:36:34.480 --> 00:36:36.159
That's that's at that half of it.
00:36:36.239 --> 00:36:37.199
I would have took her to court.
00:36:37.360 --> 00:36:39.840
She would have paid for all four.
00:36:40.000 --> 00:36:41.199
Because tires are expensive.
00:36:41.599 --> 00:36:42.159
Not back then, though.
00:36:42.320 --> 00:36:42.960
Oh, back then they were.
00:36:43.199 --> 00:36:44.320
And then he had a little central.
00:36:44.400 --> 00:36:44.800
You know, central.
00:36:46.400 --> 00:36:47.199
Yeah, about this wide.
00:36:47.519 --> 00:36:49.440
Yeah, they probably about$20 a piece.
00:36:49.679 --> 00:36:51.119
$20 a piece for the city.
00:36:51.280 --> 00:36:52.320
No, if even that.
00:36:53.039 --> 00:37:00.800
And when we think about this, like the guy before it talks about he's or the guy said that his ex tried to run him over.
00:37:01.039 --> 00:37:03.519
He was very dramatic life.
00:37:03.840 --> 00:37:13.039
It makes me also, and even this may be a little bit far-fetched, but did you hear about the other little lady in Alabama State that died?
00:37:13.199 --> 00:37:14.320
There's another girl that was king.
00:37:14.480 --> 00:37:16.079
Yeah, they said domestic violence.
00:37:16.159 --> 00:37:16.639
Yeah, yeah.
00:37:16.880 --> 00:37:17.920
That's the second one.
00:37:18.719 --> 00:37:19.360
Less than three months.
00:37:19.599 --> 00:37:25.920
So some of this stuff to me are, I mean, I don't know if this is the beginning, but the controlling like behavior.
00:37:26.159 --> 00:37:28.880
Like, I don't know what happened with the young ladies.
00:37:28.960 --> 00:37:29.679
It's so sad.
00:37:29.760 --> 00:37:37.119
I feel so sorry for their families and the parents, but um, it's just like, man, like some of these things, it's like you should not be arguing.
00:37:37.280 --> 00:37:38.480
Well, you see it, you hear it.
00:37:38.800 --> 00:37:44.800
You should not be arguing, and when you try to leave, they won't let you leave and taking your stuff out your car.
00:37:45.440 --> 00:37:59.280
But I'm telling you, listen, there are some very, very spoiled young men in this world where everything is given to them.
00:38:00.239 --> 00:38:14.320
Um and and and I'm I mean, I'm not saying all single moms, but I see that there's a larger percentage of those spoiled boys from single moms.
00:38:14.960 --> 00:38:16.239
And I'm telling you this from experience.
00:38:16.400 --> 00:38:19.039
So anybody don't come at me, I'm telling you my experience.
00:38:19.199 --> 00:38:21.920
Do I have the names and the dates when it occurred?
00:38:22.079 --> 00:38:30.320
No, I don't, but I've worked in in the schools with high school kids, and I've witnessed them and I've know how it works.
00:38:30.960 --> 00:38:38.400
And I've listened to the mom say, um, my baby get anything he wants, because I'ma let his daddy know I don't need him.
00:38:38.880 --> 00:38:40.159
I don't need, you know, whatever.
00:38:40.239 --> 00:38:46.079
And so they're spoiling them and they're telling him that he can do anything and get anything he wants.
00:38:46.400 --> 00:38:53.440
Because they come to the school to argue with us about what he's gonna do and what we're not going to do.
00:38:53.840 --> 00:38:54.559
You know what I mean?
00:38:54.960 --> 00:39:09.440
And so whether it comes to sports, whether it comes to academics, you know, and so you see these kids, like these boys, they're getting so much, and they're the same, the behavior is the same on the field, it's the same in the classroom, it's the same in the hallways.
00:39:09.599 --> 00:39:15.920
You tell them to do something, they don't want to do it, they go off on you, and then you say, dude, you can't do that.
00:39:16.079 --> 00:39:16.960
Why can't I?
00:39:17.760 --> 00:39:18.719
You know what I mean?
00:39:19.119 --> 00:39:23.360
And so that same kind of like spoiled behavior, now you find a little girl.
00:39:23.519 --> 00:39:28.480
You all clean, you got the the riches on, you, you know, you got everything on that that these young ladies like.
00:39:29.599 --> 00:39:29.760
Right.
00:39:30.320 --> 00:39:42.000
And so now, you know, you get into that mode, and now you know how I can kind of manipulate this one because she's young, she, you know, it's a it's a predator's aspect.
00:39:42.159 --> 00:39:42.480
Yeah.
00:39:42.719 --> 00:39:43.280
You know?
00:39:43.760 --> 00:39:47.119
That's the human, the, the, the, the humanistic part of it too.
00:39:47.199 --> 00:39:53.519
It's like, that's what men say we are the predators, you know, because we learn how to seek and do what we got to do.
00:39:53.599 --> 00:39:57.360
Cinnabon, you over there snoring girl, you about to interrupt the podcast.
00:39:57.679 --> 00:40:04.480
But I seen it, I've heard our students talk about it, you know, not necessarily for my girls, because I would have told quit.
00:40:04.559 --> 00:40:05.199
Oh, yes, no.
00:40:05.360 --> 00:40:07.519
Uh or I would have snatched the dudes up, you know.
00:40:07.599 --> 00:40:09.760
But you he they'll say, Oh, my friend, she's such.
00:40:10.000 --> 00:40:11.840
I said, Look, would somebody need to talk to her parents?
00:40:12.239 --> 00:40:12.800
ASAP.
00:40:13.360 --> 00:40:14.320
Y'all need to talk to her.
00:40:14.400 --> 00:40:14.480
Yeah.
00:40:14.639 --> 00:40:15.840
You know, tell her that's not right.
00:40:16.000 --> 00:40:19.519
And that's why my girls come to me because they know that it's not right.
00:40:19.599 --> 00:40:29.679
And so, you know, it's like affirming, like, you know, look, you know, my coach or my, you know, teacher won't let that, you know, that he's he's telling us what we're supposed to do.
00:40:29.920 --> 00:40:37.440
Yeah, I feel like it's just as serious as if somebody, you thought somebody was gonna commit suicide or harm themselves.
00:40:37.679 --> 00:40:46.639
If you know that a friend or a classmate is in a relationship, man, that they can be harmed in.
00:40:46.880 --> 00:40:51.039
And even if sometimes you can't talk sense into them because they don't hear it.
00:40:51.280 --> 00:40:57.039
But if you know they loved ones or if you know they mama or they daddy, tell them.
00:40:57.119 --> 00:40:57.280
Yeah.
00:40:57.440 --> 00:41:13.199
I said, because I think as a parent, um, I would prefer for you to tell me so that if I need to come down and check on my baby, if I need to come down and get this brother together to let him know, listen, no, this is not what we're doing.
00:41:13.440 --> 00:41:15.840
Parents just need the confirmation because they feel it.
00:41:16.000 --> 00:41:20.000
But then when the friends say it, they say, see, I knew something was, I knew something was up with him.
00:41:20.320 --> 00:41:21.280
I knew something was up with her.
00:41:21.519 --> 00:41:22.159
And guess what?
00:41:22.320 --> 00:41:34.880
If they get mad because you told their mama and daddy, oh well, because that you telling, you might have lost them as a friend, but I just think the life saved is more important.
00:41:35.119 --> 00:41:36.639
Yep, you can't be mad if you're dead.
00:41:36.719 --> 00:41:37.039
Mm-mm.
00:41:37.519 --> 00:41:38.559
No, you can't be mad.
00:41:38.639 --> 00:41:40.400
Look, I'd rather you be mad at me on this earth.
00:41:41.119 --> 00:41:41.760
You know what I'm saying?
00:41:41.840 --> 00:41:44.320
Then for you to not have no feelings because you're dead in the ground.
00:41:44.559 --> 00:41:44.960
It's just so sad.
00:41:45.119 --> 00:41:46.159
And I didn't say nothing about it.
00:41:46.320 --> 00:41:47.360
It's just so sad.
00:41:47.920 --> 00:41:48.639
No, it's increasing.
00:41:48.719 --> 00:41:49.280
It's increasing.
00:41:49.519 --> 00:41:50.239
It is increasing.
00:41:50.320 --> 00:41:58.000
I mean, this is we haven't even been, this is the two, and we haven't even gotten halfway through a semester.
00:41:58.159 --> 00:41:58.800
Yeah.
00:41:59.199 --> 00:41:59.440
Yeah.
00:42:01.360 --> 00:42:04.719
And then also, I I think we're hearing it because, you know, it's the proximity.
00:42:05.119 --> 00:42:09.760
You know, and then with Facebook, it's around, you know, through the friends and the algorithm and all that stuff.
00:42:09.920 --> 00:42:11.280
But uh it it's happening.
00:42:11.599 --> 00:42:13.280
But it yeah, oh, in other places.
00:42:13.760 --> 00:42:16.800
But I just know Kimani was there for three years.
00:42:16.960 --> 00:42:17.199
Yeah.
00:42:17.760 --> 00:42:18.559
It wasn't nothing there.
00:42:18.719 --> 00:42:19.199
Yeah.
00:42:19.519 --> 00:42:21.519
It wasn't a case of those cases at all.
00:42:21.679 --> 00:42:22.320
Yeah.
00:42:22.880 --> 00:42:24.400
The whole three years it wasn't nothing like that.
00:42:24.639 --> 00:42:25.440
But not death, yeah.
00:42:25.599 --> 00:42:26.000
Not death.
00:42:26.159 --> 00:42:26.400
No.
00:42:26.639 --> 00:42:27.599
That we know of, yeah.
00:42:28.400 --> 00:42:29.039
Not at all.
00:42:29.280 --> 00:42:31.199
Not not not uh domestic.
00:42:31.440 --> 00:42:32.559
They had they had some violence.
00:42:32.719 --> 00:42:37.599
Remember that one kid and they found his murder and then it was like somebody else that found his, yeah.
00:42:37.920 --> 00:42:39.440
But it wasn't like the domestic.
00:42:39.760 --> 00:42:40.559
Yeah, it wasn't like that.
00:42:40.800 --> 00:42:40.880
Yeah.
00:42:41.760 --> 00:42:43.840
So young ladies, just be careful.
00:42:44.159 --> 00:42:44.719
Yeah, man.
00:42:44.960 --> 00:42:45.599
Be careful.
00:42:45.679 --> 00:42:47.679
That just is so scary to me.
00:42:47.920 --> 00:42:49.199
Yeah, I ain't I don't argue.
00:42:49.440 --> 00:42:50.239
I don't like arguing.
00:42:50.320 --> 00:42:52.239
I mean, nobody, well, I ain't gonna say nobody likes arguing.
00:42:52.320 --> 00:42:56.480
Some people do like arguing, but I don't even I'm out.
00:42:56.960 --> 00:43:12.000
But the thing about relationships is that I don't know, like, and I think it's also part of like, I feel like how these how young people now struggle with with going through something tough.
00:43:12.400 --> 00:43:21.840
So it's like if the girl or the guy decides that they don't want to date you anymore, and you just feel like your whole world is ended.
00:43:22.400 --> 00:43:30.239
And we all have had those experiences when and you're sad, and but we just kind of know like you're gonna get over it, you date somebody else.
00:43:30.400 --> 00:43:34.960
But now it's like the the emotions and those hard feelings.
00:43:35.119 --> 00:43:40.480
I mean, they literally cannot deal with it.
00:43:40.960 --> 00:43:49.519
And so what by so whatever they feel like they need to do, they're acting off of pure emotions.
00:43:49.679 --> 00:43:59.679
Like I say, their emotional brain is definitely what's in charge, but it's just like they can't fathom life without that person.
00:44:00.400 --> 00:44:12.800
And so I tell some of the young people that I that I have to deal with is that if you're going to date, you need to also be prepared to know this may not work.
00:44:13.440 --> 00:44:14.960
And I'm going to be fine.
00:44:15.280 --> 00:44:15.920
Yeah.
00:44:16.239 --> 00:44:18.400
Like that's what dating is.
00:44:18.559 --> 00:44:21.039
You're not going to marry the first person you date.
00:44:21.119 --> 00:44:22.400
And it may not work.
00:44:22.559 --> 00:44:26.559
So if you're going to date, you have to be ready to deal with loss.
00:44:27.039 --> 00:44:31.760
And you have to be ready to deal with those things because that's what dating is.
00:44:31.920 --> 00:44:36.079
You're dating to find the person that you want to spend a long time of your life with.
00:44:36.320 --> 00:44:47.599
But some of these young people, they they are they are not emotionally, mentally ready to date.
00:44:47.920 --> 00:44:48.639
Very true.
00:44:48.880 --> 00:44:49.840
They aren't ready.
00:44:50.559 --> 00:45:04.639
So that I feel like that's where some of the young people and this kind of domestic violence thing stems from is that you don't you can't fathom living your life without that person and you don't want anybody else with them.
00:45:04.800 --> 00:45:07.039
But the fact of you're just dating.
00:45:07.280 --> 00:45:14.400
Yeah, I think we can even go to like if you did further research, you could say that kids don't have enough losses.
00:45:14.719 --> 00:45:15.039
Oh.
00:45:15.440 --> 00:45:16.960
Because parents anything.
00:45:17.199 --> 00:45:18.239
Parents keep them from that.
00:45:18.320 --> 00:45:19.519
Y'all don't have enough losses.
00:45:20.079 --> 00:45:21.199
Everybody gets a certificate.
00:45:21.360 --> 00:45:21.519
Yeah.
00:45:21.840 --> 00:45:22.880
Everybody is the winner.
00:45:23.039 --> 00:45:23.280
Yes.
00:45:23.440 --> 00:45:24.559
You know, they took away.
00:45:24.639 --> 00:45:27.679
I remember at one point in PE, they was taking away elimination games.
00:45:27.840 --> 00:45:28.000
Yeah.
00:45:28.320 --> 00:45:29.360
Don't do games that eliminate.
00:45:30.480 --> 00:45:31.440
Grade recovery.
00:45:31.599 --> 00:45:32.320
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:45:32.559 --> 00:45:34.159
You get a bad grade, do it again.
00:45:34.400 --> 00:45:35.360
Still move forward.
00:45:35.599 --> 00:45:35.920
Yeah.
00:45:36.159 --> 00:45:37.599
Somebody just told me today.
00:45:38.960 --> 00:45:39.280
Oh.
00:45:40.079 --> 00:45:42.239
It's at the university in Michigan.
00:45:42.400 --> 00:45:43.199
Is that a school?
00:45:43.440 --> 00:45:44.079
Yeah.
00:45:44.559 --> 00:45:46.000
Freshman year.
00:45:46.320 --> 00:45:47.599
Classes are just past fail.
00:45:47.920 --> 00:45:48.159
Yeah, yeah.
00:45:48.239 --> 00:45:48.480
I saw that.
00:45:48.559 --> 00:45:49.760
Yeah, the article came out.
00:45:49.920 --> 00:45:50.239
Yeah.
00:45:50.719 --> 00:45:51.679
Pass fail.
00:45:52.000 --> 00:45:52.320
Yeah.
00:45:52.559 --> 00:45:56.480
So now y'all are going to put grades for the classes that's towards their major.
00:45:56.639 --> 00:46:00.480
Why the hell I'm paying thousands of dollars for a pass fail?
00:46:00.559 --> 00:46:00.719
Yeah.
00:46:00.880 --> 00:46:02.000
What the what?
00:46:03.280 --> 00:46:05.440
So like now we're doing pass fail?
00:46:05.840 --> 00:46:06.000
Yeah.
00:46:06.159 --> 00:46:08.719
I wonder how does that affect their GPAs, though?
00:46:08.800 --> 00:46:16.639
Because you know, some people you're there on a scholarship, and the scholarship says you have to maintain like a 3.5 or higher in order to, you know, so you know what I mean?
00:46:16.719 --> 00:46:17.360
So what is the peak?
00:46:17.760 --> 00:46:19.039
What is the reasoning behind that?
00:46:19.199 --> 00:46:19.519
Yeah.
00:46:19.760 --> 00:46:22.719
I'm telling you, it's a lot we're they're tired of losses.
00:46:23.440 --> 00:46:28.320
The people that make the changes are some of the main ones who don't want their kids facing a loss.
00:46:28.639 --> 00:46:32.239
We are going to have a world that is super unintelligent.
00:46:32.480 --> 00:46:32.719
Yeah.
00:46:32.880 --> 00:46:41.760
There, there, we're going to be, I mean, we are really robotic because you think about robot, robots don't have the proper emotions to feel.
00:46:41.920 --> 00:46:48.320
And that's why people say AI can't get rid of everything, especially can't get rid of things that deal with emotions.
00:46:48.559 --> 00:46:49.440
You know what I mean?
00:46:49.679 --> 00:46:55.360
Reading the way a person looks and feels, you can't do that robotically.
00:46:55.440 --> 00:46:58.239
You have to have a sense of emotion in you.
00:46:58.400 --> 00:47:10.480
And so we're taking all of the emotions, you know, out of kids because the only thing we're not teaching them how to learn how to, yeah, you are saying emotional regulation.
00:47:10.639 --> 00:47:14.719
We're not teaching kids how loss is not the end of the world.
00:47:14.880 --> 00:47:15.119
Yeah.
00:47:15.360 --> 00:47:17.599
How loss sometimes make you stronger.
00:47:17.920 --> 00:47:20.559
That is what teaches you problem solve.
00:47:20.800 --> 00:47:28.320
That's what I tell the parents when I do that zones, um, emotional regulation for parents for home.
00:47:28.960 --> 00:47:34.320
You have got to let your children experience a loss.
00:47:35.119 --> 00:47:38.159
And then you are there as a support.
00:47:38.719 --> 00:47:39.920
Let them feel it.
00:47:40.719 --> 00:47:44.480
Then you are there as a support to help them to get through it.
00:47:44.639 --> 00:47:48.000
You are still there for them, but they've got to experience it.
00:47:48.159 --> 00:47:59.199
Because if that the first experience of loss they feel is when they go off to college, that's going to be extremely challenging for them.
00:47:59.519 --> 00:48:02.000
So you've got to let them experience the loss.
00:48:02.159 --> 00:48:05.679
You've got to let them, they didn't turn the assignment, let them get the F.
00:48:06.320 --> 00:48:11.440
If they get in trouble at school and it's their fault, let them get the consequence.
00:48:11.679 --> 00:48:23.679
Don't go in there trying to make excuses and all the things, because then that's what we're left with are these children that don't know what it feels like to feel a loss.
00:48:23.920 --> 00:48:36.159
And so then their emotions are far beyond what is required for that sort of loss.
00:48:36.639 --> 00:48:43.440
Um, and they don't know how to manage or or figure out what to do with these feelings because they've never felt them before.
00:48:43.599 --> 00:48:50.000
And then I would imagine if all my life I've always everything's been great, great.
00:48:50.159 --> 00:48:52.159
Rainbows, unicorns, and Skittles.
00:48:52.400 --> 00:48:56.480
And all of a sudden, 18 years down the road, I experienced loss.
00:48:56.559 --> 00:48:58.159
That is the first loss.
00:48:58.480 --> 00:49:01.199
How devastating is that?
00:49:01.440 --> 00:49:01.760
Yeah.
00:49:02.000 --> 00:49:04.239
Like how devastating is that?
00:49:04.480 --> 00:49:11.840
And for us, we we have a choice but to experience loss and change and consequences and all the things.
00:49:12.000 --> 00:49:14.800
And I think that's why we are better able to deal with.
00:49:15.039 --> 00:49:16.960
Now, we didn't talk about feelings and emotions.
00:49:17.039 --> 00:49:26.800
Now, I think if you would have added feelings and emotions on top of what we would have been a crazy generation, but we'd have been so in touch with so many healers and survivors.
00:49:27.119 --> 00:49:27.840
Oh my gosh.
00:49:28.000 --> 00:49:31.760
And how much more we would have been able to achieve and accomplish.
00:49:32.000 --> 00:49:34.159
How much more love we actually would have been able to spread.
00:49:34.400 --> 00:49:35.039
Oh man.
00:49:35.199 --> 00:49:35.440
Yeah.
00:49:35.679 --> 00:49:38.960
So, like that is really what we need.
00:49:39.599 --> 00:49:43.920
But we are going so far left that we're we're not there.
00:49:44.079 --> 00:49:52.559
And that's why we see all these extreme things: school shootings, mass shootings, all this foolishness, um, the road rage.
00:49:52.719 --> 00:49:52.960
Yeah.
00:49:53.199 --> 00:49:56.320
You you mean you want to shoot me because I pulled in front of you?
00:49:56.559 --> 00:50:04.800
Yeah, like you said, because when they experience that first major loss, if it's later in life, not only that, now think about the other things in life that that's on top of them.
00:50:04.880 --> 00:50:06.719
Now you got a job, now you can maybe have kids.
00:50:07.199 --> 00:50:14.400
And then when you get that one, and plus everything is amplified, like you think somebody else seen your your loss in live actually.
00:50:14.960 --> 00:50:15.760
Oh, I'm embarrassed now.
00:50:15.840 --> 00:50:16.800
Oh, I gotta end it.
00:50:17.039 --> 00:50:21.760
I do believe that's why this, like, you know how they say they're choosing not to have children.
00:50:22.480 --> 00:50:29.280
I think the idea of that, like Well, a lot of I've saw I read an article where it said that's hard.
00:50:29.599 --> 00:50:34.400
It's not even just hard, but they're also afraid that their child may not turn out to be that perfect one.
00:50:34.639 --> 00:50:36.079
Oh gosh, I can see that too.
00:50:36.239 --> 00:50:36.880
You see what I'm saying?
00:50:36.960 --> 00:50:37.360
I can see that.
00:50:37.599 --> 00:50:51.599
Because now if their child's not perfect, then all the things that they the the dance, the clubs, the games, the this, the that, you know, the college scholarships, their child's not perfect, so they're gonna be seen differently.
00:50:51.760 --> 00:50:52.000
Yeah.
00:50:52.159 --> 00:50:54.559
Yeah, I read an article about about that.
00:50:55.039 --> 00:50:55.840
That's just crazy.
00:50:56.079 --> 00:50:56.559
It's a shame.
00:50:56.639 --> 00:50:56.800
Yeah.
00:50:57.599 --> 00:51:04.079
And the idea that they want this perfectionism, but then y'all, y'all, y'all don't even know enough to be perfect.
00:51:04.239 --> 00:51:05.519
I mean, well, you know what I'm saying?
00:51:05.679 --> 00:51:08.559
Like, we now in in college are pass and fails.
00:51:09.039 --> 00:51:09.519
What?
00:51:09.840 --> 00:51:12.639
But you think about it, some of them high school has been pass or failed.
00:51:12.800 --> 00:51:13.199
Yeah.
00:51:13.360 --> 00:51:14.639
And I think that's why.
00:51:14.880 --> 00:51:21.280
Because when you are allowing credit recovery, that is a pass fail.
00:51:21.440 --> 00:51:26.079
A semester of you didn't do nothing the entire semester.
00:51:26.239 --> 00:51:26.639
Mm-hmm.
00:51:26.800 --> 00:51:29.679
And then, you know, your school's saying you can't give below this grade.
00:51:30.000 --> 00:51:39.679
So all you gotta do really is is to make pass like what, one test or two tests that you can probably cheat on, and now you can get due credit recovery.
00:51:39.840 --> 00:51:40.000
Yeah.
00:51:40.159 --> 00:51:46.480
So you're sitting in there with a 65, you do credit recovery, a whole semester work of work, and two weekends.
00:51:46.719 --> 00:51:47.360
Yeah.
00:51:47.679 --> 00:51:48.960
You know what I'm saying?
00:51:49.280 --> 00:51:51.440
That's just, I don't know.
00:51:51.760 --> 00:51:53.440
It's just very concerning.
00:51:53.679 --> 00:51:54.079
It is.
00:51:54.239 --> 00:51:54.880
It really is.
00:51:55.119 --> 00:51:56.000
It is very concerning.
00:51:56.239 --> 00:51:58.239
So, anyways, we done went from well, I guess we're going to.
00:51:58.719 --> 00:52:01.199
You can't do you can't put great zeros in gradebooks either.
00:52:01.360 --> 00:52:07.039
If a kid comes to your school and don't do jet, you cannot put a in high school, cannot put a zero in the gradebook.
00:52:07.679 --> 00:52:08.559
That's his grade.
00:52:09.039 --> 00:52:10.960
It has to be like a I think maybe a 20.
00:52:12.239 --> 00:52:13.840
You cannot put a zero.
00:52:14.079 --> 00:52:21.280
So they're still like, well, even if it's an F, you still did not teach them that it's zero.
00:52:21.360 --> 00:52:24.960
It's like you go to work or and but you don't do the work.
00:52:26.480 --> 00:52:27.119
They still want to check.
00:52:27.199 --> 00:52:28.639
Yeah, you gotta at least give me$20.
00:52:30.000 --> 00:52:32.159
And listen, in the real world, that's not happening.
00:52:32.320 --> 00:52:32.800
Right.
00:52:33.280 --> 00:52:35.039
That is not happening.
00:52:35.519 --> 00:52:40.079
That's not, and that's why I say, like, so it's going to be interesting to see.
00:52:40.320 --> 00:52:45.679
So we see college adjusting, how will work adjusts for them?
00:52:45.920 --> 00:52:47.039
So it's gonna be interesting to see.
00:52:47.360 --> 00:52:49.599
Work is gonna say, screw it, we're not even hiring y'all.
00:52:49.679 --> 00:52:50.639
Give me AI.
00:52:53.679 --> 00:52:57.840
And then then what will that look like for y'all to take care of yourselves?
00:52:58.159 --> 00:53:00.559
Then we're gonna start, we're gonna be the Hunger Games.
00:53:00.800 --> 00:53:00.960
Man.
00:53:01.280 --> 00:53:03.920
Because you're not gonna have no no skill set.
00:53:04.239 --> 00:53:07.840
Lord, let that be where I'm already old and gone.
00:53:08.079 --> 00:53:10.159
Well, I'll tell you about it when I get up there.
00:53:10.320 --> 00:53:10.639
Oh, good.
00:53:10.960 --> 00:53:13.039
Because I'm living, I'll tell you, 400.
00:53:13.679 --> 00:53:14.639
400 and plus.
00:53:14.880 --> 00:53:16.480
So you won't live in the Hunger Games?
00:53:16.800 --> 00:53:19.679
I'm gonna be I'm gonna be one of the like the top dogs.
00:53:19.920 --> 00:53:20.639
Oh my god.
00:53:21.039 --> 00:53:22.719
I'm coordinating it, I'm gonna be protected.
00:53:22.960 --> 00:53:23.280
Okay.
00:53:23.519 --> 00:53:28.320
Because you know, I always keep like safety ideas and safety things and stuff like that.
00:53:28.639 --> 00:53:30.480
And it won't be hard to outsmart them.
00:53:30.639 --> 00:53:31.519
That's right.
00:53:32.480 --> 00:53:34.960
You put the food right there in the middle.
00:53:36.079 --> 00:53:38.239
And they're gonna look at it, ain't cooked yet.
00:53:38.480 --> 00:53:39.119
Can't mess with it.
00:53:39.679 --> 00:53:40.719
Ain't no microwaves.
00:53:41.519 --> 00:53:42.000
That's it.
00:53:42.079 --> 00:53:43.039
We can't do nothing with that.
00:53:43.280 --> 00:53:44.559
Can't do a thing with it.
00:53:44.719 --> 00:53:45.119
Yeah.
00:53:45.519 --> 00:53:47.199
So, any hootie-do.
00:53:48.400 --> 00:53:51.119
They won't eat corn because you tell it's an ear of corn.
00:53:51.199 --> 00:53:52.239
I don't even eat ears.
00:53:52.400 --> 00:53:53.679
Yeah, that's cannibals.
00:53:54.079 --> 00:53:54.719
Yeah.
00:53:54.960 --> 00:53:56.320
Then you eat all the corn.
00:53:56.639 --> 00:53:57.920
So interesting.
00:53:58.400 --> 00:53:59.920
We live in an interesting world.
00:54:00.000 --> 00:54:00.559
It just everything.
00:54:00.800 --> 00:54:04.239
They won't eat bacon because it said, no, I like my bacon fried.
00:54:04.480 --> 00:54:05.760
You say you gotta bake it.
00:54:05.840 --> 00:54:07.039
That's why they call it bacon.
00:54:07.119 --> 00:54:08.400
They're gonna be dumb like that.
00:54:08.639 --> 00:54:09.280
Oh my gosh.
00:54:09.920 --> 00:54:11.760
Some of them are already dumb like that.
00:54:12.239 --> 00:54:12.880
Yeah.
00:54:14.159 --> 00:54:16.000
It's gonna be interesting.
00:54:16.719 --> 00:54:19.599
And it's gonna start, you're gonna start seeing cities fall.
00:54:19.840 --> 00:54:20.719
By the way, sir.
00:54:20.880 --> 00:54:21.199
Oh, yeah.
00:54:21.440 --> 00:54:22.639
Which talk is gonna be first?
00:54:22.800 --> 00:54:24.400
Oh no, it's definitely gonna be fine.
00:54:24.800 --> 00:54:25.360
We're gonna be last.
00:54:25.519 --> 00:54:26.719
We got money, honey.
00:54:26.880 --> 00:54:29.199
I told you, and what you talk about, we got money, honey.
00:54:29.440 --> 00:54:30.960
That's the main one.
00:54:31.119 --> 00:54:33.199
Look, they say who giving pass or fail?
00:54:33.920 --> 00:54:35.280
Did they say Alabama State?
00:54:35.519 --> 00:54:35.760
No.
00:54:35.840 --> 00:54:36.480
They said what?
00:54:36.800 --> 00:54:39.519
University of Michigan got way more money than Alabama State do.
00:54:40.480 --> 00:54:41.760
What does Michigan have to do with Kansas?
00:54:41.920 --> 00:54:42.559
That's what you just said.
00:54:42.719 --> 00:54:43.679
Pass or fail.
00:54:43.840 --> 00:54:47.920
So you see, I see it's all the people with the money doing the dumb stuff first.
00:54:48.079 --> 00:54:48.639
Oh my God.
00:54:48.880 --> 00:54:50.639
So which talk, y'all got money?
00:54:50.800 --> 00:54:51.119
Boom.
00:54:51.199 --> 00:54:53.119
Y'all gonna be doing pass or fail.
00:54:53.519 --> 00:54:55.199
Foley, we ain't got no money.
00:54:55.280 --> 00:54:56.320
We harvesters.
00:54:56.639 --> 00:54:57.360
You know what I'm saying?
00:54:57.440 --> 00:54:58.480
We know how to do stuff.
00:54:59.039 --> 00:54:59.360
That's right.
00:54:59.440 --> 00:55:01.039
We know how to pick it, baby.
00:55:01.280 --> 00:55:02.239
We know how to do it.
00:55:02.400 --> 00:55:03.920
That's why we smooth.
00:55:04.880 --> 00:55:06.239
And look what y'all do.
00:55:06.400 --> 00:55:07.199
Nothing.
00:55:08.719 --> 00:55:09.519
Nothing.
00:55:10.159 --> 00:55:10.800
Lord.
00:55:11.119 --> 00:55:14.079
So, anyways, that's our believer, sister.
00:55:14.320 --> 00:55:20.079
We went from a car, starter fuse thief to picking cotton.
00:55:20.239 --> 00:55:20.639
Mm-hmm.
00:55:20.800 --> 00:55:23.360
And and Wichita going down first.
00:55:23.679 --> 00:55:23.920
No.
00:55:24.239 --> 00:55:25.440
In the Hungary Garens.
00:55:25.840 --> 00:55:27.760
Anyways, moving on.
00:55:28.559 --> 00:55:31.199
You put you uh relationship advice.
00:55:31.440 --> 00:55:32.480
Relationship advice.
00:55:32.719 --> 00:55:34.400
Marry you somebody from Wichita.
00:55:34.719 --> 00:55:36.639
Oh child, they'll believe everything.
00:55:37.039 --> 00:55:38.239
I'm going to the moon.
00:55:38.480 --> 00:55:38.800
No.
00:55:39.039 --> 00:55:40.960
She said, well, bring me back a moon pie.
00:55:41.280 --> 00:55:44.000
And I bought one of the moon pies from Kroger.
00:55:44.239 --> 00:55:46.559
And she thought, oh, my baby really did go to the moon.
00:55:48.880 --> 00:55:51.039
I did not do a thing.
00:55:51.119 --> 00:55:55.360
And I'm definitely not asking for a moon pie because those are yuck.
00:55:55.679 --> 00:55:56.480
No, they're so good.
00:55:57.119 --> 00:55:58.079
Chocolate is a horrible.
00:55:58.400 --> 00:55:59.039
So not good.
00:55:59.119 --> 00:55:59.440
All right.
00:55:59.599 --> 00:56:10.239
So we have here from Cosmopolitan Magazine the best relationship advice from couples therapy that you'll want to steal immediately.
00:56:10.480 --> 00:56:12.320
I was like, no, I'm not going to steal it.
00:56:12.559 --> 00:56:13.599
You don't want to steal it?
00:56:14.000 --> 00:56:14.800
I already knew everything.
00:56:14.880 --> 00:56:16.000
I could have written that article.
00:56:16.239 --> 00:56:16.639
All right.
00:56:16.880 --> 00:56:23.519
It says the first advice is it's not about being right.
00:56:24.159 --> 00:56:24.400
Okay.
00:56:24.480 --> 00:56:26.079
I'll give my little in on that.
00:56:26.159 --> 00:56:27.039
I agree.
00:56:27.360 --> 00:56:30.960
Um sometimes you do want to be right in any argument.
00:56:31.199 --> 00:56:32.639
You do want to be right.
00:56:32.960 --> 00:56:42.079
Um, but I think sometimes is is what's, you know, how can you keep peace?
00:56:42.800 --> 00:56:45.760
Some people say, well, no, brother, nah, you can't just keep peace.
00:56:45.840 --> 00:56:50.400
But it's like, I think you can't keep peace with somebody who is irrational.
00:56:50.719 --> 00:56:51.039
Okay.
00:56:52.559 --> 00:56:57.280
I think sometimes, like, let's say if I know them right, I said, okay, well, what what do you want?
00:56:57.360 --> 00:56:58.880
What what should we do?
00:57:00.159 --> 00:57:02.239
And you tell me what you think we should do.
00:57:02.800 --> 00:57:13.199
And even if it's exactly what I'm thinking, but maybe our the the male vernacular is different and the woman, you know, how we good, you know, we do our thing is the same.
00:57:13.440 --> 00:57:14.320
Like, that's what I'm talking about.
00:57:14.400 --> 00:57:15.920
So, okay, all right, bet, let's go.
00:57:16.239 --> 00:57:18.559
Cause I just want to be in harmony and peace.
00:57:19.119 --> 00:57:19.519
You know?
00:57:19.679 --> 00:57:21.440
And sometimes that's all it takes.
00:57:22.960 --> 00:57:30.239
Well, I think sometimes it is about the perspective.
00:57:30.480 --> 00:57:33.039
So when is somebody like trying to be right?
00:57:33.119 --> 00:57:38.880
And they I think where you're trying to be right is because you feel like somebody doesn't get what you're saying.
00:57:39.360 --> 00:57:41.519
So you keep trying to prove your point.
00:57:42.000 --> 00:57:46.639
But I think when you get to that point where you're so focused on being right, you aren't listening.
00:57:46.960 --> 00:57:50.960
You're only focused on proving your point.
00:57:51.519 --> 00:57:54.079
I think you can still, it ain't even that they get what they're saying.
00:57:54.159 --> 00:57:57.840
It's that sometimes you just like you like your team, I like my team.
00:57:58.000 --> 00:57:58.639
Yeah, that's true.
00:57:58.800 --> 00:57:59.440
You know what I'm saying?
00:57:59.599 --> 00:58:01.119
I know every reason why you like your team.
00:58:01.360 --> 00:58:02.320
It might be a valid point.
00:58:02.400 --> 00:58:02.559
Yeah.
00:58:02.639 --> 00:58:04.000
But I just know I like my team.
00:58:04.159 --> 00:58:05.039
Yeah, that's true.
00:58:05.199 --> 00:58:05.440
Yeah.
00:58:05.679 --> 00:58:22.559
And so with that, then it's just um if you if you, I guess, are focused on personal win, I think if you're thinking of couple win, you need to figure out how do we both win.
00:58:23.360 --> 00:58:27.119
Because the idea is not for one to always be the winner.
00:58:27.360 --> 00:58:32.480
Because if there's one that's always the winner, then it's simply gonna create over time a divide.
00:58:32.880 --> 00:58:36.480
If that's what y'all always trying to do, who's winning, who's winning.
00:58:36.719 --> 00:58:39.280
So the idea is like, how do we come together?
00:58:39.440 --> 00:58:42.400
If you're a couple, how do we come together?
00:58:42.719 --> 00:58:52.079
Um, so if you're worried about winning all the time and being right all the time, because for one, we are not gonna be right all the time.
00:58:52.800 --> 00:58:54.960
But there are some people who think they are right.
00:58:55.119 --> 00:58:56.880
They do all the time.
00:58:57.039 --> 00:59:04.159
I think that's where you get a lot of people who diagnose people as um, what's the word I'm thinking of?
00:59:04.320 --> 00:59:05.679
Um Narcissist.
00:59:06.000 --> 00:59:06.559
Narcissist.
00:59:06.800 --> 00:59:10.000
Yeah, and I hate when people try to say, Well, I'm just type A.
00:59:11.119 --> 00:59:13.199
You know, A as an A whole.
00:59:13.440 --> 00:59:14.000
For real.
00:59:14.159 --> 00:59:23.920
Because a lot of them, they they they use that as their excuse for saying, Look, I'm a type A person and I know what I want and I'm right about it, you know, and and then that's how it goes, you know.
00:59:24.079 --> 00:59:33.039
So, but um I'm not saying you gotta like give up your your values if it's something like that, you know.
00:59:33.199 --> 00:59:52.079
Um yes, if you're if you are right and you really believe you are right, sometimes there may be a way in which you could deliver it or or discuss it better with the person that I don't I think the the worst time to prove that you're right is when it isn't in an argument.
00:59:52.480 --> 00:59:53.519
When it is not?
00:59:53.760 --> 00:59:54.800
When it is in an argument.
00:59:55.039 --> 00:59:57.760
Oh, yeah, because nobody is really listening.
00:59:57.920 --> 01:00:05.840
Every both, if it's an argument, arguments to me happen because people are speaking from their emotional brains.
01:00:06.480 --> 01:00:28.320
So if you're arguing, that's why nothing really comes of an argument, because both people are speaking with their emotional brains, they're not using their thinking brain, and so with that, that's why it's an argument because nobody's thinking really rationally, everybody is just thinking out of emotions, and so that's why it comes to that.
01:00:28.800 --> 01:00:33.199
If in actuality, if we were using our thinking brain, we wouldn't be arguing.
01:00:33.679 --> 01:00:41.840
We would be able to sit down and have a civilized thought discussion, but when you aren't regulated, that's what arguments happen.
01:00:42.159 --> 01:00:48.239
I think arguments, because you know, arguing and disagreeing are similar.
01:00:48.480 --> 01:00:50.320
It's just one is one is different.
01:00:50.400 --> 01:00:51.840
I think I think one is intensified.
01:00:52.079 --> 01:00:53.599
Yeah, arguing is intensified.
01:00:53.920 --> 01:00:54.400
That's what I'm saying.
01:00:54.480 --> 01:00:55.920
It's it's it's like the same.
01:00:56.159 --> 01:01:06.159
It's not as and it's not to me, arguments when you see people arguing, it's just kind of like you look at them like, but yeah, what you said, well, yeah, it makes sense.
01:01:06.320 --> 01:01:14.880
Yeah, what you said, but and no, they not hearing each other, but because if you if we saw two people arguing, like they were loud, we're like, oh, they arguing.
01:01:14.960 --> 01:01:15.440
You're gonna say that.
01:01:15.679 --> 01:01:17.039
You're not gonna say, oh, they're disagreeing.
01:01:17.199 --> 01:01:17.760
Oh, no, yeah.
01:01:18.000 --> 01:01:24.159
It's the loudness, it's the it's the the the animation of it all that we uh instantly call it an argument or argument.
01:01:24.400 --> 01:01:26.639
Some people, oh, they're fighting, you know, verbal fight.
01:01:26.719 --> 01:01:29.119
We think fist fighting, you know, that's the way they were fighting.
01:01:29.360 --> 01:01:35.920
But then if you are doing it calmly, you know, what or kind of like, you know, a little lower, bring it down, it's a disagreement.
01:01:36.239 --> 01:01:42.559
Then you can also have a discussion that can be where there's no middle, there's no uh seeing each other's side.
01:01:42.800 --> 01:01:43.920
You can be discussing it.
01:01:44.239 --> 01:01:48.320
But that's even a discussion is tonus, you see what I'm saying?
01:01:48.719 --> 01:01:50.880
The tone is is lower, it's it's down.
01:01:51.119 --> 01:01:52.559
The body language is different.
01:01:53.519 --> 01:01:54.000
You know?
01:01:54.239 --> 01:01:57.840
So they're they can be the same, yeah.
01:01:58.079 --> 01:01:59.920
But it's it's how, where does it go?
01:02:00.159 --> 01:02:05.440
Yeah, it's because like a discussion or a disagreement is inevitable.
01:02:06.559 --> 01:02:09.039
Um, because we are so different.
01:02:09.119 --> 01:02:17.280
We aren't gonna have the same opinion over things, we're gonna have different opinions, and you can be able to discuss those different opinions.
01:02:17.599 --> 01:02:19.599
Um and still leave the table.
01:02:19.679 --> 01:02:20.320
And still leave the table.
01:02:20.559 --> 01:02:21.199
Not agreeing.
01:02:21.920 --> 01:02:29.360
But the argument happens because you want so bad to be right, and you want so bad for that person to say, okay, I agree with you.
01:02:29.920 --> 01:02:46.079
And then when they don't, if you um have a challenge in time handling that, then that's when the argument ensues, and that's when you see it go to, you know, craziness.
01:02:46.239 --> 01:02:50.239
But yeah, that it's okay to have a disagreement and not agree.
01:02:50.639 --> 01:02:55.440
And and they have their point, and you have your point, and you just leave it at that.
01:02:56.480 --> 01:03:00.400
Um, but some people have a hard time with that.
01:03:00.880 --> 01:03:03.119
So that was one of the things.
01:03:03.360 --> 01:03:08.800
The other one they said was sometimes your thoughts are also your enemy.
01:03:09.280 --> 01:03:18.400
So they were saying, with your thoughts to be mindful of your thoughts, if they are negative thoughts, um, and are they impacting your relationship?
01:03:18.639 --> 01:03:22.159
And then how do you make yourself aware of those?
01:03:22.400 --> 01:03:25.519
So are they saying thoughts of yourself or thoughts of others?
01:03:25.840 --> 01:03:29.519
Thoughts of um critical thoughts about your partner.
01:03:30.400 --> 01:03:43.920
Um so they were saying um there are plenty of times when a person um would describe, this is with the therapist, would describe to their therapist negative critical thoughts about their partner.
01:03:44.159 --> 01:03:51.199
And the therapist would often explain that these were not their real thoughts, or rather a prison they've put themselves into.
01:03:51.440 --> 01:03:59.119
When you're constantly harping on thoughts about how your partner has hurt you, you don't leave much space for reconcil re reconciliation.
01:03:59.360 --> 01:04:08.719
If you want to stay with your partner and work on your relationship, it helps remind yourself that your thoughts and feelings, though they may be valid, are not facts.
01:04:09.039 --> 01:04:19.840
And if you choose to dwell on the negatives, that's how you're forcing yourself to feel at that's that's how you're forcing yourself to feel at all times.
01:04:20.559 --> 01:04:29.599
So I guess it's really it's really I guess forgiveness, like if you move it on from the Don't be a prisoner to the to the same thought, I guess you should say.
01:04:30.320 --> 01:04:31.760
You know, I've seen that with all the things.
01:04:33.280 --> 01:04:36.719
You know, um, just don't be a prisoner to the same thought.
01:04:36.960 --> 01:04:37.199
Yeah.
01:04:37.760 --> 01:05:06.719
Yeah, I've seen that with my clients, and it's like I think in a relationship, everybody has to kind of sh both parties, I should say everybody because it's all issues to you, both parties have to kind of move and shift to create um peace or to create a space where you're both on the same page that you both kind of have to move and shift.
01:05:06.880 --> 01:05:31.920
Um, the idea of thinking that this person should be the one that has to do all the changing is not appropriate because at some point we all have to kind of change and shift so um that we are better able to interact, communicate, um, be people say as a marriage as one or as a unit together.
01:05:32.079 --> 01:05:33.920
Um, because people change.
01:05:34.159 --> 01:05:40.559
Nobody, the person you married is not gonna be the same person two years, four years, five years, because you aren't.
01:05:40.719 --> 01:05:45.280
So the idea that you think somebody else ought to change, well, when you change and baby.
01:05:45.360 --> 01:05:45.599
Yeah.
01:05:45.760 --> 01:05:51.039
When you gonna shift and do some things, and so if you Or acknowledge the change.
01:05:51.119 --> 01:05:51.360
Yeah.
01:05:51.519 --> 01:05:52.320
That's one thing too.
01:05:52.400 --> 01:05:53.760
Like both people say, You change.
01:05:54.079 --> 01:05:55.599
Yes, we all change.
01:05:56.320 --> 01:05:58.159
Every day brings about change.
01:05:58.320 --> 01:05:59.280
But it's new.
01:05:59.440 --> 01:05:59.599
Yeah.
01:06:00.079 --> 01:06:12.239
I think and I think that's why they say you have to be so careful who you marry, 'cause the idea is that you hope that you change better, that the person you with helps you to grow and be better.
01:06:12.480 --> 01:06:19.599
Um, and that hopefully you're not in a space where you shift in a way um that it that you two grow apart.
01:06:19.760 --> 01:06:20.239
Yeah.
01:06:20.559 --> 01:06:21.599
But things happen.
01:06:21.840 --> 01:06:31.119
Yeah, that's a scary thing about marriage and or the relationships, period, because none of them none of them are guaranteed.
01:06:31.519 --> 01:06:32.400
You know what I'm saying?
01:06:32.559 --> 01:06:36.639
Because you could say, I'm gonna do everything perfect.
01:06:37.679 --> 01:06:38.000
Okay?
01:06:38.480 --> 01:06:41.039
Well, what if the other person says I'm not doing everything perfect?
01:06:41.199 --> 01:06:44.159
Like just one day, or even if they tried, but they fell short.
01:06:44.320 --> 01:06:46.880
Yeah, you know, this it's just like that.
01:06:46.960 --> 01:06:50.639
It's nothing is guaranteed.
01:06:50.960 --> 01:06:59.039
But what you can do, like you said, through dating, you eliminate some of those little ooh, what is that?
01:06:59.199 --> 01:07:01.840
You know, those little things that we would normally put a blind eye to.
01:07:02.159 --> 01:07:02.320
Yeah.
01:07:02.800 --> 01:07:19.039
You know, you start eliminating and you give yourself a better chance at sustaining a good marriage as opposed to just going in it blindly, you know, but it it it is definitely different where you do have to say, okay, well, I know who I am as a person.
01:07:19.599 --> 01:07:21.199
I'm gonna be realistic about stuff.
01:07:21.280 --> 01:07:24.159
I know that I'm gonna change, they're gonna change.
01:07:24.320 --> 01:07:27.119
I know that I can change, they can change.
01:07:27.280 --> 01:07:32.000
I know that there's some things they don't want to me to change about me and about what I'm doing with them.
01:07:32.079 --> 01:07:36.079
And there's some things that I don't want them to change about what we're doing and and where we are.
01:07:36.400 --> 01:07:58.639
You know, and if you both can sit down and have that conversation, the understanding, and say, now can we be man and woman enough or partner and partner enough to uh communicate to the other when we notice the change of ourselves or our partner is moving in a direction we're not comfortable with at the moment.
01:07:58.960 --> 01:08:09.599
Yeah, it was I saw this, but it's a funny it's a funny TikTok, but he was saying that um his marriage advice was tell the person when you don't like something.
01:08:10.400 --> 01:08:14.719
Um, because that way they don't have to be a mind reader and get it wrong.
01:08:15.039 --> 01:08:20.560
Um, and then you sitting around mad because they don't know what's wrong or why are you upset.
01:08:20.640 --> 01:08:24.720
And so they said, so the communicate, say what's wrong and just say, hey, I don't like that.
01:08:25.439 --> 01:08:33.119
Um and then they said, and make sure they said make sure you keep the the for intimacy the F word.
01:08:33.600 --> 01:08:37.119
Um but they said also make sure that you continue to stay intimate.
01:08:37.439 --> 01:08:42.479
Um and so um, and I thought, well, that's very simple because that is true.
01:08:42.720 --> 01:08:45.199
You tell somebody when you don't like something.
01:08:45.439 --> 01:08:51.600
If they've grown and changed, and sometimes maybe they don't notice, or they don't know you don't like it.
01:08:51.680 --> 01:08:51.840
Yeah.
01:08:52.000 --> 01:08:54.960
So you tell them, I don't I don't like that.
01:08:55.520 --> 01:08:59.840
Um and then if they continue to do it and you've made it clear, then that's something different.
01:09:00.079 --> 01:09:02.159
But people can't read your mind.
01:09:02.319 --> 01:09:03.520
They don't they don't know.
01:09:03.760 --> 01:09:05.439
They can't say you didn't let them know.
01:09:06.560 --> 01:09:07.520
You know what I'm saying?
01:09:07.680 --> 01:09:17.119
If you tell them, and then don't just say it one time, because then you know they may have slipped into a hell they because that's normally what they do.
01:09:17.359 --> 01:09:24.319
Because sometimes somebody has always been doing the thing, and you just one day you change, you realize, I don't think I really like that.
01:09:24.800 --> 01:09:32.640
And so if you don't tell them, they don't know, but then if you tell them and then they end up doing it again, well, they that's kind of how they've been doing things.
01:09:32.720 --> 01:09:38.800
Yeah, so it may take you a few times to say, I told you I don't like that.
01:09:39.439 --> 01:09:41.439
Like for them to to get it.
01:09:41.600 --> 01:09:42.800
Yeah, yeah.
01:09:43.119 --> 01:09:45.199
So yeah, I I totally agree with that.
01:09:45.279 --> 01:09:53.840
And I think to me, when we talked about dating and how people don't want to deal with breakups and loss, but that's what dating is about.
01:09:54.000 --> 01:10:13.760
Yeah, dating is for you to date and figure out what you like, what you don't like, all of those things, so that when you do choose your your partner that you're hoping is a lifetime partner, that it is exactly what you want because you figured it out through dating.
01:10:13.840 --> 01:10:18.560
Because dating will tell you, you know, all things, not just what you don't like, but it's also tell you what you do.
01:10:18.720 --> 01:10:19.439
Yeah, it does.
01:10:19.680 --> 01:10:20.479
What you do like.
01:10:20.560 --> 01:10:22.800
So, yeah, that was one of the things they said.
01:10:22.880 --> 01:10:25.119
So I think that goes with communication.
01:10:25.439 --> 01:10:29.039
A lot of people struggle with communication because they don't like conflict, right?
01:10:29.680 --> 01:10:33.760
And we know like what we just said about the young folk, they don't like to be told no.
01:10:34.000 --> 01:10:34.560
Mm-hmm.
01:10:35.119 --> 01:10:36.800
Don't like to be told no.
01:10:37.279 --> 01:10:41.039
Um, this one I like, it says try listening in a different way.
01:10:41.359 --> 01:10:48.399
So this one they say you might think you're listening to your partner simply because you're following along with the details of what they're saying.
01:10:48.720 --> 01:10:58.239
Um, but they say you should try listening in a different way rather than paying attention to the specifics of the story and how things unfolded.
01:10:58.479 --> 01:11:00.800
Listen to how they made your partner feel.
01:11:01.039 --> 01:11:02.079
That's what I was about to say, yeah.
01:11:02.159 --> 01:11:04.560
And you'll probably learn something new about their perspective.
01:11:04.720 --> 01:11:06.800
And then, but But people gotta share how they feel.
01:11:07.039 --> 01:11:08.399
That's what I was about to say too.
01:11:08.720 --> 01:11:13.119
Sometimes they'll tell you, I don't, but say, what does it make you feel like?
01:11:13.680 --> 01:11:21.119
Because then it makes me feel scared or it makes me feel nervous, or it makes me feel um, you know, unattractive.
01:11:21.359 --> 01:11:22.880
Oh, ooh, my bad.
01:11:23.039 --> 01:11:31.199
That was and then sometimes if the person said it's not my intention at all, this is what I think about during that situation.
01:11:31.359 --> 01:11:38.720
Yeah, then you may be like, oh, I didn't know that was how you felt in that because it may even shift their thinking.
01:11:39.199 --> 01:11:39.600
You know?
01:11:39.840 --> 01:11:43.680
So and people do, they um, it's like being vulnerable.
01:11:43.840 --> 01:11:54.640
But if you're married, I won't call her if you're marrying somebody, if you're married to somebody, and um I would hope that y'all be able to share how you feel.
01:11:54.880 --> 01:11:58.319
Like, how can you not share how you feel with a person?
01:11:58.479 --> 01:11:59.920
So yeah, I think that's important.
01:12:00.079 --> 01:12:03.199
The other one says, the other one says, also share, always share how you feel.
01:12:03.279 --> 01:12:08.399
But the last one was unresolved trauma can affect your relationship.
01:12:08.800 --> 01:12:10.960
Answer that by phone and we'll pause and uh do.
01:12:11.359 --> 01:12:11.840
Hello?
01:12:12.640 --> 01:12:13.119
Yeah.
01:12:14.960 --> 01:12:25.199
We we're filming Tuesday.
01:12:26.000 --> 01:12:29.199
You trying to plan his um You trying to plan his overnight guest.
01:12:30.159 --> 01:12:30.800
Well, what you want?
01:12:34.640 --> 01:12:37.279
You trying to plan if you need to get some groceries.
01:12:38.239 --> 01:12:39.119
Oh, child.
01:12:39.199 --> 01:12:40.800
It's food in there that you don't ever eat.
01:12:41.039 --> 01:12:42.880
Yeah, we got tons of pizza.
01:12:43.359 --> 01:12:46.640
It's uh waffles, sausages, what else you need?
01:12:46.800 --> 01:12:47.840
We got ramen.
01:12:49.359 --> 01:12:52.000
Roman He got plenty of beverages.
01:12:52.479 --> 01:12:54.319
Them angry orchards or whatever he got in there.
01:12:54.479 --> 01:12:55.920
I'm sorry, do you have what?
01:12:59.039 --> 01:13:01.039
You eat dietary value stuff?
01:13:01.279 --> 01:13:02.319
Uh McDonald, Mr.
01:13:02.399 --> 01:13:03.920
McDonald's, Taco Bell.
01:13:04.079 --> 01:13:06.479
What child, we'll talk to him later.
01:13:06.720 --> 01:13:08.399
We'll talk to you later, child.
01:13:08.960 --> 01:13:09.840
You're talking about nothing.
01:13:10.640 --> 01:13:11.680
We're trying to see what he can.
01:13:12.079 --> 01:13:13.760
Trying to what money he can get out of us.
01:13:13.920 --> 01:13:16.560
That's all that's about is the money, honey.
01:13:16.960 --> 01:13:25.359
Ladies and gentlemen, when you got a young man that don't think y'all smart.
01:13:26.880 --> 01:13:28.159
That's how you gotta help it.
01:13:28.319 --> 01:13:33.680
Yeah, he won't over here pretend, pretend uh um, what is it?
01:13:34.479 --> 01:13:37.840
Wifey uh wanna cook real meals.
01:13:38.000 --> 01:13:40.319
Ain't cooked the real meals, I don't know how long.
01:13:40.640 --> 01:13:41.600
She wanna cook something?
01:13:41.680 --> 01:13:45.119
I'm trying to tell you he gonna be he wanna go do some real grocery shopping.
01:13:45.359 --> 01:13:46.319
Buy real food.
01:13:46.399 --> 01:13:47.760
He don't cook nothing.
01:13:48.000 --> 01:13:48.720
Nope.
01:13:49.039 --> 01:13:49.920
Nothing.
01:13:50.560 --> 01:13:52.800
I don't know when the last time he cooked some real groceries.
01:13:52.960 --> 01:13:55.840
Even when we give him money to go buy something, he still comes back with junk.
01:13:56.079 --> 01:13:58.880
Arizona teas, ramen bowls.
01:13:59.119 --> 01:13:59.600
Yes.
01:14:00.239 --> 01:14:03.279
But now you want uh something with nutritional value.
01:14:03.600 --> 01:14:04.720
Child, if you don't get out my.
01:14:14.640 --> 01:14:18.640
I just said that unresolved trauma can affect your relationship.
01:14:18.800 --> 01:14:33.920
So think about things that hurt you in childhood, previous relationships, things with your parents, um, your family, all of those things, you bring those things into your marriage, and then those can impact.
01:14:34.239 --> 01:14:43.439
I think you have to also be careful of knowing when you're dating or moving towards marriage, what trauma did that person deal with?
01:14:43.680 --> 01:14:44.960
Did they deal with it?
01:14:45.039 --> 01:14:52.159
And is it something that you are prepared to deal with as a partner?
01:14:52.399 --> 01:14:52.640
Yeah.
01:14:52.800 --> 01:15:04.159
Cause I can say there's probably some traumas that I don't know, it it could be a deal breaker for me, depending upon definitely for me.
01:15:04.479 --> 01:15:05.439
What it is.
01:15:05.760 --> 01:15:10.800
So you when people have trauma, you first of all, no, you can't heal them.
01:15:11.039 --> 01:15:11.439
Nope.
01:15:11.600 --> 01:15:14.640
They've got to do the healing on themselves and on their own.
01:15:14.800 --> 01:15:18.399
You can be a support, but they've got to do that work on their own.
01:15:18.720 --> 01:15:19.680
They have to do the work on their own.
01:15:20.079 --> 01:15:22.720
A professional, they need to do that.
01:15:22.880 --> 01:15:29.760
And even th and what we know about trauma is trauma things can be fine, and then trauma reveal comes up.
01:15:29.920 --> 01:15:32.159
Yeah, it show and it shows up in different ways.
01:15:32.479 --> 01:15:35.520
Different ways, different times, different things trigger the trauma.
01:15:35.760 --> 01:15:37.439
Different things trigger it.
01:15:37.680 --> 01:15:49.840
Um, so knowing that it's not completely erased, but it can um come up in in different situations, and and how does that impact the children that y'all choose to have?
01:15:50.079 --> 01:15:52.880
It's just really like something to think about for sure.
01:15:53.119 --> 01:16:11.039
And it doesn't mean that those people are off limits, but what they're saying is you need to be healed from your trauma, like you've done the work um to heal from it so that you can have a healthy marriage because unresolved trauma can cause an unhealthy marriage and relationship.
01:16:11.199 --> 01:16:13.199
Yeah, definitely, definitely.
01:16:13.359 --> 01:16:13.840
Mm-hmm.
01:16:14.239 --> 01:16:15.119
Definitely.
01:16:15.359 --> 01:16:18.000
Yeah, so um any hoot-to-doo.
01:16:18.159 --> 01:16:18.960
Anyhoot-do.
01:16:20.079 --> 01:16:24.720
That's coming from an LPC, baby.
01:16:25.199 --> 01:16:26.239
Yay, yay!
01:16:27.840 --> 01:16:29.439
Yeah, I think that's where we get those things.
01:16:29.600 --> 01:16:44.479
We're talking about breaking the generational curses, and that is if you have dealt with trauma and you don't want it to continue on, because oftentimes your trauma is a result of trauma from your from you know, your family, you know, generational trauma.
01:16:45.520 --> 01:16:46.560
Yeah, break it.
01:16:46.720 --> 01:16:50.239
And the way you break it is healing from it.
01:16:50.319 --> 01:16:54.159
Yep, yeah, talking about it, talking about it, doing the working about it, doing the work.
01:16:54.319 --> 01:16:54.560
Yep.
01:16:54.720 --> 01:17:00.880
That's how you do it, so that that it doesn't um continue on throughout your your bloodline.
01:17:01.279 --> 01:17:01.600
Yeah.
01:17:01.760 --> 01:17:02.159
Yep.
01:17:02.479 --> 01:17:04.079
I just say, don't own it.
01:17:04.640 --> 01:17:14.720
You know, like um, I heard it again recently on listening to Oprah's podcast, the guy that wrote the uh, I forgot the name of the book is, but it's about the I think it's some some kind of athlete.
01:17:14.960 --> 01:17:20.159
But he's a um and it wasn't selling until the football player had it one thing during the game.
01:17:20.399 --> 01:17:22.319
And then also Oh, I remember that, yeah.
01:17:22.560 --> 01:17:37.840
But the main thing he was like saying, and you know, I heard this before, like instead of saying my anxiety, you just say, you know, the anxiety that I've experienced caused me not to be able to come to work or cause me not to be able and stop stop owning trauma.
01:17:38.079 --> 01:17:38.239
Yeah.
01:17:38.479 --> 01:17:43.359
Like I have trauma, you know, the trauma that I face, the trauma that I'm experiencing.
01:17:43.520 --> 01:17:45.359
Stop giving it a place to live.
01:17:45.920 --> 01:17:53.600
You know, yeah, because it's yeah, because the I would hope that you'd want to live beyond your trauma.
01:17:54.319 --> 01:18:00.079
And then you could use um your trauma as a strength.
01:18:00.239 --> 01:18:00.720
Yeah.
01:18:00.880 --> 01:18:02.399
Um give it power.
01:18:02.640 --> 01:18:14.239
Don't give it power and use it for, you know, as a as a reinforcement or power for you to propel forward um from your trauma.
01:18:14.399 --> 01:18:16.880
Lots of people are able to do that.
01:18:16.960 --> 01:18:22.479
And so, but you have to want to do it and not some people use it for a crutch.
01:18:23.840 --> 01:18:25.039
That's the reason why I can't do it.
01:18:25.439 --> 01:18:34.720
It's parasitic, it attaches to you and eats eats away everything that's healthy for you, it it eats it first before you can even uh digest it.
01:18:34.880 --> 01:18:40.640
Yeah, you know, and really be like, whoa, wait, that relationship was good, but my trauma scared it away.
01:18:40.800 --> 01:18:41.279
Mm-hmm.
01:18:41.439 --> 01:18:42.000
You know?
01:18:42.319 --> 01:18:52.479
Yeah, there was uh I met us uh a young lady who was um saying that she speaks about suicide, and I said, Well, what made you get into that?
01:18:52.720 --> 01:19:09.119
And she said, because she had had suicide ideation, and her therapist told her that she thinks it would be great for her to go out and speak about it um and encourage and empower other young people who are struggling, like how they can get through it.
01:19:09.279 --> 01:19:20.000
And that's how you use, you know, your trauma to propel yourself forward to strengthen you is like through acts of things like that.
01:19:20.640 --> 01:19:25.359
I thought that was pretty powerful and um a great idea from her therapist.
01:19:25.439 --> 01:19:32.000
But your therapist can give you ideas, but the idea that she actually did it, did it, yeah, I thought was super powerful.
01:19:32.960 --> 01:19:34.960
Hey, I can give you a brand new car.
01:19:35.439 --> 01:19:38.479
But if you don't drive it to work, drive it where you need to go.
01:19:38.560 --> 01:19:39.439
What good is the car?
01:19:40.079 --> 01:19:40.800
Come on now.
01:19:41.279 --> 01:19:43.520
Can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink.
01:19:43.760 --> 01:19:45.840
Hey, some famous teachers said that before.
01:19:46.000 --> 01:19:46.720
So dead.
01:19:46.960 --> 01:19:47.680
To some kids.
01:19:47.840 --> 01:19:48.479
For real.
01:19:49.760 --> 01:19:50.720
The kids later.
01:19:51.039 --> 01:19:51.279
What?
01:19:52.000 --> 01:19:53.600
Always drink water.
01:20:00.560 --> 01:20:02.479
All right, what you watching?
01:20:02.800 --> 01:20:05.199
Oh, I don't know if we have time for that.
01:20:05.680 --> 01:20:06.399
Just real quick.
01:20:06.960 --> 01:20:07.760
I know what I'm finished.
01:20:07.840 --> 01:20:10.399
I'm trying to finish Reacher so that I can watch Nagley.
01:20:10.640 --> 01:20:11.039
Yeah.
01:20:11.359 --> 01:20:12.079
That's his girl.
01:20:12.479 --> 01:20:15.279
Reacher's on um uh Prime.
01:20:15.359 --> 01:20:18.319
If y'all watch Reacher, it's I I love stuff like that.
01:20:19.199 --> 01:20:19.760
Yeah.
01:20:20.000 --> 01:20:25.119
Um, I have, in all honesty, I feel like I have not watched TV at all.
01:20:25.439 --> 01:20:26.000
You have?
01:20:26.239 --> 01:20:27.119
What did I watch?
01:20:27.359 --> 01:20:29.039
You was watching it um yesterday.
01:20:29.199 --> 01:20:30.079
Was it yesterday?
01:20:30.560 --> 01:20:31.840
Well, I did watch a movie.
01:20:32.000 --> 01:20:36.880
It had the lady from um uh Mary Mary.
01:20:37.039 --> 01:20:40.159
Yeah, because you were talking about how what's her name Walt when she came in that talk to talk.
01:20:40.479 --> 01:20:41.520
What you doing now?
01:20:42.079 --> 01:20:42.720
Uh what's the name?
01:20:42.800 --> 01:20:43.359
Jasmine Guy.
01:20:43.760 --> 01:20:44.399
Jasmine Guy.
01:20:44.960 --> 01:20:46.960
Oh, Mary Mary, they had a movie.
01:20:47.039 --> 01:20:50.079
Oh, it's called Adults Adult Adultery.
01:20:50.239 --> 01:20:50.880
Is that right?
01:20:51.359 --> 01:20:51.840
Maybe so.
01:20:52.000 --> 01:20:55.840
It was with um Devon Devon Franklin.
01:20:56.079 --> 01:20:57.520
No, that ain't Devon Franklin.
01:20:57.600 --> 01:20:59.680
It's that but then Franklin was I thought he was in it.
01:20:59.760 --> 01:21:02.319
He was the one that he looked just like Devon, but that's not even.
01:21:02.640 --> 01:21:03.359
He should have met Devon.
01:21:03.600 --> 01:21:06.800
It's um, okay, remember Megan Good when she was with Devon.
01:21:06.960 --> 01:21:07.119
Yeah.
01:21:07.279 --> 01:21:15.680
And they had the friend that was uh not cookie from from um what's the name?
01:21:16.000 --> 01:21:21.279
Not soul food, cookie from um Lucius and them, but his girlfriend.
01:21:22.960 --> 01:21:23.520
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:21:23.600 --> 01:21:25.279
The couple, yeah, the guy in the cookie.
01:21:25.520 --> 01:21:28.159
They look, you know, because the husband looked, it was him.
01:21:28.319 --> 01:21:29.279
He was he was in it.
01:21:29.680 --> 01:21:30.800
And Matt Barnes was in it.
01:21:30.960 --> 01:21:31.840
Yeah, Matt Barnes.
01:21:32.000 --> 01:21:33.039
It was pretty good.
01:21:33.199 --> 01:21:35.920
I I watched that to see what it was about.
01:21:36.159 --> 01:21:40.319
Um, so it had um, I think it ain't Erica.
01:21:40.479 --> 01:21:42.399
Erica's the one Mary Mary, I don't like.
01:21:42.479 --> 01:21:43.760
I think it's the other sister.
01:21:43.920 --> 01:21:45.600
Um it wasn't Mary.
01:21:46.079 --> 01:21:46.800
One of the Marys.
01:21:47.199 --> 01:21:47.920
One of the Marys.
01:21:48.159 --> 01:21:50.239
But, anyways, yeah, I watched that the other day.
01:21:50.399 --> 01:21:51.199
It was pretty good.
01:21:51.359 --> 01:21:54.720
Normal lifetime uh movie.
01:21:54.960 --> 01:21:56.479
So it was pretty good.
01:21:56.560 --> 01:21:57.359
I I enjoyed it.
01:21:57.520 --> 01:22:01.279
And you watched a little bit of the Nene Nil.
01:22:01.840 --> 01:22:05.039
Oh, yeah, with the Nene Nim, the reunion show.
01:22:05.199 --> 01:22:09.520
Yeah, I I love um, I just really like Nene.
01:22:10.000 --> 01:22:18.560
The real Housewives of Atlanta to me is not at all as good as it was when Nene was there.
01:22:18.880 --> 01:22:26.399
She is hilarious, and they would still go back and forth, but now it's just so mean.
01:22:26.880 --> 01:22:32.479
And I'd say they weren't mean then, but it was just still where you it was funny.
01:22:32.800 --> 01:22:35.600
The mean now is it has to be.
01:22:35.680 --> 01:22:40.960
That's what that's what that's the beast that was created through reality TV.
01:22:41.199 --> 01:22:47.520
Yeah, the mean competition reality TV got mean because that beast wanted those clips.
01:22:47.680 --> 01:22:50.880
It wanted that viral, it wanted that was the person they was talking about.
01:22:51.119 --> 01:22:53.680
Yeah, I don't I don't like the mean now.
01:22:53.760 --> 01:22:55.760
It is very, very hurtful.
01:22:55.920 --> 01:22:59.600
I feel like with Nene and them, it was just, it was fun.
01:22:59.680 --> 01:23:01.840
Like some of the things that would happen would be funny.
01:23:02.000 --> 01:23:16.159
Like, like even um on the one thing I think about it all the time is when uh the thing when Kenya twirls, whatever she says, when she twirled her little dress, um, gone with the wind, fabulous.
01:23:16.479 --> 01:23:20.000
And then she had said something like she was gonna hit or do something about it.
01:23:20.079 --> 01:23:24.399
And then he's like, Oh, girl, I know that dress ain't got you thinking like that shit.
01:23:24.640 --> 01:23:33.920
So, like just things like just that kind of stuff that you would get, she'd walk away, and that kind of stuff was funny, and now it's just not as fun.
01:23:34.239 --> 01:23:43.760
So um, I like seeing her there, and even on there, she was saying things, she was saying little little phrases, fun things she'd say.
01:23:43.920 --> 01:23:45.920
Yeah, that that is missing.
01:23:46.079 --> 01:23:47.840
Um, but she said she wasn't coming back.
01:23:47.920 --> 01:23:58.239
Somebody did an interview and she said she just she would likes peace in her life, yeah, and she just don't want to go back to the back, and probably because she sees how it's gotten.
01:23:58.479 --> 01:24:00.239
It's it it takes a toll on a lot of people.
01:24:00.399 --> 01:24:03.039
Yeah, I think it would take a toll on a lot of people.
01:24:03.119 --> 01:24:11.199
It takes a toll, and then I think with some of the things that they do, they re I think you really do really want to jump on some people.
01:24:11.520 --> 01:24:14.640
Um, and so she probably said that they'll make me jump on them.
01:24:14.960 --> 01:24:30.000
And and also that that if it feeds you, meaning financially, yeah, and you're in these contracts and stuff with these people, then they're gonna demand because at some point it does stall and they're like, look, we need it to turn up.
01:24:30.159 --> 01:24:35.920
So then that's so now your your finances rely on, so you you depending on the weekend.
01:24:36.079 --> 01:24:36.560
Buy in, yeah.
01:24:36.720 --> 01:24:38.319
Yeah, you buy into it and then you go.
01:24:38.479 --> 01:24:41.439
And some people days like, you know what, I'm pulling back from it.
01:24:41.520 --> 01:24:42.399
I'm not trying to do that.
01:24:42.640 --> 01:24:54.000
Yeah, and I know people love Porsche because Porsche still brings that sometimes, but I also feel like in some ways, some of them those ladies, to me, have sold their souls to the devil.
01:24:54.159 --> 01:24:58.560
They'll do anything to keep that money flowing in the reality TV realm.
01:24:58.640 --> 01:25:12.319
And I know some of them have had been able to go beyond that, but to me, the the biggest, the best story of a reality to success would be Cardi Bean.
01:25:12.880 --> 01:25:24.640
Like she she to me is like used it for what it was and now is like a mega, you know, star or whatever, and she doesn't go and didn't have to go back to it.
01:25:24.720 --> 01:25:24.960
Right.
01:25:25.119 --> 01:25:36.720
Um, some of them I feel like they feel like they're mega stars, but if you still in the reality Yeah, even though it's paying, it's paying, but it's but it's yeah, but it's it's paying.
01:25:37.039 --> 01:25:38.239
It's still so compromised.
01:25:38.560 --> 01:25:45.760
Yeah, and it's causing you to be you're you're you're not you're not you're not expanding.
01:25:46.000 --> 01:25:47.039
No, you're not expanding.
01:25:47.199 --> 01:25:48.239
You're still in that bubble.
01:25:48.399 --> 01:25:49.439
Yeah you're still in that bubble.
01:25:49.520 --> 01:25:50.239
Yes, lots of people are gonna be able to do that.
01:25:50.399 --> 01:25:52.159
But that's what they but that's fine for some people.
01:25:52.319 --> 01:25:53.279
That is, you know what I'm saying?
01:25:53.359 --> 01:25:53.760
That's fine.
01:25:53.840 --> 01:26:00.880
So we you know, just like you know, OnlyFans say, hey, it's you say, Oh, but you don't only, but it's paying a porn start.
01:26:01.119 --> 01:26:01.920
That's what I like to do.
01:26:02.000 --> 01:26:03.119
It's paying, you know what I mean?
01:26:03.199 --> 01:26:04.640
So that's their thing.
01:26:04.720 --> 01:26:07.600
So but that's true, and they and they have I don't need growth.
01:26:07.680 --> 01:26:08.960
What what I want to expand for.
01:26:09.199 --> 01:26:09.840
Well, and why?
01:26:09.920 --> 01:26:12.720
Because I mean they I mean Porsche makes a lot of money, right?
01:26:12.800 --> 01:26:13.600
And so she's good.
01:26:13.680 --> 01:26:15.039
She's like she makes a lot of money.
01:26:15.199 --> 01:26:17.680
She's she makes a lot of money.
01:26:17.760 --> 01:26:24.000
She has set she just has her little businesses going on the side and other opportunities.
01:26:24.239 --> 01:26:26.800
But yeah, I guess it would not be for me.
01:26:26.960 --> 01:26:35.199
If I if if for me, I would want more of like what how Cardi B was able to use it as a platform and then get off.
01:26:35.359 --> 01:26:37.039
Yeah, and then get off, right?
01:26:37.199 --> 01:26:45.840
Yeah, I would want, I would want, I can't imagine spending so much time arguing and fussing and the back and forth on the internet.
01:26:46.399 --> 01:26:47.600
It's so easy for them to be so.
01:26:47.760 --> 01:26:57.840
I remember when I did reality TV and I went to LA, a lot of times when they've recognized you as being a reality star, they didn't think you could act.
01:26:58.319 --> 01:27:01.520
So it was difficult to even get into audition spaces.
01:27:02.000 --> 01:27:07.119
But then once I got in the audition and they was like, oh, you're actually talented.
01:27:07.279 --> 01:27:07.520
Right.
01:27:07.760 --> 01:27:08.479
You know what I mean?
01:27:08.560 --> 01:27:08.800
Yeah.
01:27:09.039 --> 01:27:17.840
And so, but it was always getting to the door, and then they see, and then be like, but then some people say, just take it off your resume.
01:27:18.079 --> 01:27:20.960
But then sometimes taking it off you don't get even the audition.
01:27:21.439 --> 01:27:21.920
You don't even get the office.
01:27:22.079 --> 01:27:24.960
But then that's ridiculous, because then why are you giving me the audition then?
01:27:25.119 --> 01:27:25.520
Yeah.
01:27:25.760 --> 01:27:26.640
It's just, I don't know.
01:27:26.720 --> 01:27:36.720
It's just so it it it's again, it's again, but they will always think that, you know, just because you did the show, you know, and and I do understand because some people, oh, I'm I'm gonna be an actor now.
01:27:37.119 --> 01:27:40.720
No, you had no personality, or you don't even have the skills to act.
01:27:40.880 --> 01:27:42.800
You know, and so it was it was difficult.
01:27:42.880 --> 01:27:56.159
But now, yeah, and even after like a few years, man, it's like I missed that little window where it didn't matter because it was like reality T kicked it, yeah, and they was putting people in in show just because of the fact that it was getting more viewership and stuff like that.
01:27:56.319 --> 01:27:59.840
So, but hey, it is what it is.
01:28:00.159 --> 01:28:00.479
It is.
01:28:00.640 --> 01:28:01.359
It is what it is.
01:28:01.840 --> 01:28:02.720
My lane was different.
01:28:03.039 --> 01:28:06.800
If you want to watch a movie about adultery, go Lifetime.
01:28:07.119 --> 01:28:08.000
Mary Mary.
01:28:09.359 --> 01:28:10.399
Watch a little lifetime movie.
01:28:10.479 --> 01:28:11.920
Y'all know how lifetime movies are.
01:28:12.079 --> 01:28:14.159
And Reacher, I've been watching a little bit of that with you.
01:28:14.239 --> 01:28:14.640
That's pretty good.
01:28:14.800 --> 01:28:15.840
Yeah, Reacher is good.
01:28:16.079 --> 01:28:16.399
It's good.
01:28:16.560 --> 01:28:18.159
You should have seen the yesterdays.
01:28:18.800 --> 01:28:20.560
You would have been like, oh, come on now.
01:28:20.720 --> 01:28:20.960
Come on.
01:28:21.920 --> 01:28:22.640
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:28:22.720 --> 01:28:23.520
It it got me.
01:28:23.760 --> 01:28:24.079
Yeah.
01:28:24.399 --> 01:28:26.640
Um, well, what you grateful for?
01:28:26.880 --> 01:28:33.760
I'm grateful for the fact that um we have time um to ourselves, you and I.
01:28:33.840 --> 01:28:34.800
We need this.
01:28:35.199 --> 01:28:35.920
I need this.
01:28:36.079 --> 01:28:36.399
Bad.
01:28:36.560 --> 01:28:37.520
I need to hug.
01:28:37.680 --> 01:28:38.880
I need a hug.
01:28:39.119 --> 01:28:40.960
I need to lay my head in your bosom.
01:28:41.279 --> 01:28:42.399
Oh gosh.
01:28:42.880 --> 01:28:45.359
Um it's been a stressful week, you know.
01:28:45.520 --> 01:28:46.399
Yeah, it has been.
01:28:46.720 --> 01:28:47.039
Yeah.
01:28:47.279 --> 01:28:50.399
And I I had some disappointing news, boom.
01:28:50.479 --> 01:28:51.520
Disappointing news, boom.
01:28:51.600 --> 01:28:54.239
Then I got, you know, okay, then it got disappointing news again.
01:28:54.319 --> 01:28:57.680
So, but um that's life.
01:28:57.920 --> 01:29:00.800
When I get in front of them kids, I don't I don't show disappointment.
01:29:00.880 --> 01:29:05.039
I do my thing, even though, and I and I and I commend myself for that a lot of times.
01:29:05.119 --> 01:29:06.720
I'm like, these don't know that.
01:29:06.800 --> 01:29:12.079
I'm like, ah But for them, I'm right there smiling, joking, doing that.
01:29:12.159 --> 01:29:24.960
For my coworkers, I get in the car, put my gospel on, listen to my Leandria, you know, uh deliver me, her and um Donald Lawrence, and it it it changes the perspective.
01:29:25.840 --> 01:29:26.960
And I feel good after that.
01:29:27.039 --> 01:29:29.359
But I that's my that's my theme, so I gotta get that.
01:29:30.000 --> 01:29:30.479
That's good.
01:29:30.640 --> 01:29:34.560
Yeah, so I'm grateful for just the fact that God has me, man.
01:29:34.640 --> 01:29:40.560
And um um even through the bad, the good is always there.
01:29:41.199 --> 01:29:43.039
But is it really bad?
01:29:44.800 --> 01:29:49.680
It's it's w the not so good, we'll say that.
01:29:50.319 --> 01:29:53.279
Or the costume, the costume bad.
01:29:53.920 --> 01:29:54.560
You know what I'm saying?
01:29:54.640 --> 01:29:56.479
It's dressed as bad, but it's still good.
01:29:56.560 --> 01:29:57.760
Yeah, you know what I'm saying?
01:29:57.920 --> 01:29:59.199
So yeah.
01:29:59.600 --> 01:30:00.159
Yeah.
01:30:00.479 --> 01:30:01.680
What are you grateful for?
01:30:01.920 --> 01:30:06.319
Um, I'm grateful to get away to um.
01:30:10.000 --> 01:30:12.319
Yeah, I'm just that's part of the looking forward to too.
01:30:12.479 --> 01:30:22.319
Just grateful just to kind of chill for a little bit and have a whole week to kind of reset and then get ready to do it all over again.
01:30:22.560 --> 01:30:24.880
And I yeah, didn't yeah.
01:30:24.960 --> 01:30:31.840
So I'm grateful for that and looking forward to being a foodie for the next four days.
01:30:31.920 --> 01:30:32.479
Yeah.
01:30:32.800 --> 01:30:34.239
So I'm looking forward to that.
01:30:34.399 --> 01:30:40.319
Yeah, being a foodie and um being in a space where it is very just chill.
01:30:40.479 --> 01:30:40.720
Yeah.
01:30:40.880 --> 01:30:43.520
Um, because a lot of people are going to Florida to the beach.
01:30:44.000 --> 01:30:45.760
Um, and I said, Well, that might have been nice.
01:30:45.920 --> 01:30:47.359
I was like, that's so damn hot.
01:30:47.600 --> 01:30:49.600
Yeah, you know, I heard a lot of people say they didn't go to the beach.
01:30:49.680 --> 01:30:51.279
It's like we normally go to the beach every summer.
01:30:51.359 --> 01:30:52.000
We didn't go this year.
01:30:52.079 --> 01:30:53.840
I was like, No, for fall break, I don't know.
01:30:53.920 --> 01:30:54.640
No, no, listen.
01:30:54.720 --> 01:30:54.880
Okay.
01:30:55.119 --> 01:30:56.319
A lot of people said that.
01:30:56.399 --> 01:30:56.560
Yeah.
01:30:56.720 --> 01:30:58.399
That's why they're going for fall break.
01:30:58.640 --> 01:30:58.880
Oh.
01:30:59.119 --> 01:31:00.960
And I was like, you know what?
01:31:01.039 --> 01:31:02.800
I've heard so many people say that.
01:31:03.039 --> 01:31:09.119
Parents said it, you know, when we were doing the Football Friday, and I was like, why didn't people go to the beach this summer?
01:31:09.840 --> 01:31:14.319
I know it was, like I said, it was extremely hot this summer, but then I don't know what else was going on.
01:31:14.479 --> 01:31:18.000
I don't think most of the people that I've talked to, they're going to beaches this summer.
01:31:18.319 --> 01:31:18.960
I mean, for five minutes.
01:31:20.720 --> 01:31:21.840
That probably could have been a real time.
01:31:22.000 --> 01:31:24.399
Because summer is always up, and then this is all break.
01:31:25.039 --> 01:31:28.720
Yeah, so the condos are cheaper and stuff like that, the Airbnbs and all that stuff.
01:31:28.880 --> 01:31:29.600
Yeah, are cheaper stuff.
01:31:29.760 --> 01:31:30.319
That may be true.
01:31:30.560 --> 01:31:31.840
Maybe that has something to do with it.
01:31:31.920 --> 01:31:34.479
But I'll tell you, it's been so hot just every day.
01:31:34.560 --> 01:31:37.680
Yeah, I'm like, I can't even fathom being on the beach in the heat.
01:31:37.840 --> 01:31:39.199
I I just really don't want to do it.
01:31:39.439 --> 01:31:42.479
Today the kids, uh, because I did bus duty.
01:31:42.880 --> 01:31:47.760
They said, and these I'm saying, look, first segregate, you got on pants.
01:31:48.720 --> 01:31:49.600
I said, yes.
01:31:49.680 --> 01:31:50.800
I said, I have on pants.
01:31:51.119 --> 01:31:57.840
So yeah, but those be like the thin pants, the like the, you know, because I had my little track fabletics pants, but then today I had on my oversized sweats.
01:31:58.079 --> 01:31:59.920
They go, you got on pants?
01:32:00.079 --> 01:32:01.039
It's hot.
01:32:02.079 --> 01:32:03.199
I said, yeah, it is.
01:32:03.279 --> 01:32:06.560
I said, but hey, I said, I I was inside all day.
01:32:06.640 --> 01:32:07.199
We were training.
01:32:07.279 --> 01:32:09.520
We married, I said, that's why y'all didn't see me in PE.
01:32:09.680 --> 01:32:10.079
Mm-hmm.
01:32:10.720 --> 01:32:13.199
So I was like, yeah, these kids said it was hot.
01:32:13.439 --> 01:32:14.640
So yeah, so yeah.
01:32:14.720 --> 01:32:19.439
Um, it's I think we're we well for us it's gonna be like 80 degrees.
01:32:19.600 --> 01:32:21.119
Yeah, I don't even know if it's gonna rain or not.
01:32:21.600 --> 01:32:22.800
It's supposed to rain a couple of days.
01:32:23.039 --> 01:32:24.239
I said, because I don't care.
01:32:24.479 --> 01:32:29.680
Yeah, we'll be inside, we'll watch some movies, we'll chill, order some food, we'll do something fun.
01:32:29.920 --> 01:32:32.079
Well, we can I don't mind walking in the rain.
01:32:32.319 --> 01:32:33.359
Try to get out of here.
01:32:35.359 --> 01:32:37.039
You don't want you wouldn't walk in the rain?
01:32:37.199 --> 01:32:39.680
I mean, I would, but you know, you ain't gonna walk nobody around.
01:32:39.840 --> 01:32:40.399
Why would I not?
01:32:40.479 --> 01:32:41.760
I got an umbrella walking around.
01:32:41.920 --> 01:32:43.840
Okay, well, we're walking the rain then, child.
01:32:44.239 --> 01:32:45.039
Oh my gosh.
01:32:45.199 --> 01:32:46.000
Anyways, guys.
01:32:46.239 --> 01:32:47.119
Anyways, hold on.
01:32:47.279 --> 01:32:48.079
Uh uh, what?
01:32:49.600 --> 01:32:50.319
Hurry up.
01:32:50.560 --> 01:32:51.520
I'm coming.
01:32:52.239 --> 01:32:54.720
Also, guys, he's he's going to do that.
01:32:54.800 --> 01:32:55.600
We still got a pack.
01:32:55.680 --> 01:32:56.880
We have not even packed.
01:32:57.119 --> 01:32:58.960
We leave it in the morning.
01:32:59.439 --> 01:33:03.119
Not one single thing is packed.
01:33:03.680 --> 01:33:05.520
No, you had a rough, a rough day.
01:33:05.840 --> 01:33:06.880
But we'll pack.
01:33:07.600 --> 01:33:08.720
You had a rough day.
01:33:09.199 --> 01:33:09.840
Oh, I did.
01:33:10.479 --> 01:33:14.000
Yeah, rough, the unexpected, kind of expected day.
01:33:14.479 --> 01:33:16.399
But um, here's the car here.
01:33:17.840 --> 01:33:21.199
I just put I just uh don't want to drop my candies.
01:33:21.680 --> 01:33:26.399
I keep stuff in in the in the waiting for you to things like this.
01:33:27.600 --> 01:33:29.199
No, it's just good stuff.
01:33:30.159 --> 01:33:30.640
Yeah.
01:33:31.760 --> 01:33:34.079
It was a sad day, guys.
01:33:35.760 --> 01:33:44.159
But just a little uh token of my love.
01:33:46.159 --> 01:33:46.960
Oh, thank you.
01:33:50.079 --> 01:33:52.880
Um, that's even even when stuff is stressed.
01:33:53.039 --> 01:34:03.920
And we've, you know, we we even been a little disconnected, like your leg ain't even been on mine that much in the bed, so but we've been tired as heck, so we've been tired and just a lot going.
01:34:04.640 --> 01:34:05.680
Another bag.
01:34:05.840 --> 01:34:07.039
Is this why you got that scarf?
01:34:07.119 --> 01:34:08.399
Because you knew this was coming?
01:34:09.199 --> 01:34:10.479
Because it matches it.
01:34:10.960 --> 01:34:17.279
I don't know if y'all know about curve bags, but I have a brown one, but I have this blue one now.
01:34:17.680 --> 01:34:24.640
Yeah, and you get to dress them up so you can put like I have a scarf and pins and different things on.
01:34:26.880 --> 01:34:30.479
Um, but it's black-owned curs.
01:34:30.880 --> 01:34:32.960
And it's like a little tote, nothing special.
01:34:33.119 --> 01:34:35.680
I mean, you know, I mean, you can even like wash this tote.
01:34:35.840 --> 01:34:42.000
Yeah, my my one I have, I'm gonna need to wash it because I I brushed it up against my dirty car.
01:34:42.239 --> 01:34:45.680
But yeah, you can put them in the washer machine or whatever.
01:34:45.920 --> 01:34:47.119
But you get to dress them up.
01:34:47.279 --> 01:34:50.560
So I'm gonna um I just I'm gonna put my one thing on here now.
01:34:50.800 --> 01:34:55.680
So um nice quality, nice quality, inexpensive, less than a hundred dollars.
01:34:55.920 --> 01:34:58.960
I have like the purse, purse jewelry is what it's called.
01:34:59.359 --> 01:35:06.720
So I have like cherries on my brown one with a flower and like a little a little scarf.
01:35:06.960 --> 01:35:14.960
So this one I have a scarf, but I also have a new, I have some um jewelry too to go on it too, purse jewelry, but it's super cute.
01:35:15.039 --> 01:35:18.640
And I went somewhere with my brown one and somebody says, ooh, give me that purse.
01:35:18.720 --> 01:35:22.319
And I was like, Oh, but yeah, I like it dressed up just like this.
01:35:22.479 --> 01:35:27.760
I didn't know you dressed them up until I went to um I went to a coffee shop, Smarna Coffee, to get some coffee.
01:35:27.840 --> 01:35:32.720
And these two ladies, they weren't even together, they both had curved bags, and they had theirs all dressed up.
01:35:32.800 --> 01:35:34.960
And I was like, I didn't know you're supposed to dress them up.
01:35:35.119 --> 01:35:40.319
So, anyways, you can get them and dress them up, your pens go right through it and make it your own.
01:35:40.479 --> 01:35:42.079
So, anyways, thank you.
01:35:42.319 --> 01:35:43.199
You're very welcome.
01:35:43.520 --> 01:35:44.399
I needed that.
01:35:44.479 --> 01:35:45.920
Today was a rough day.
01:35:46.159 --> 01:35:52.880
I'm trying to think about if there are certain clients that I probably cannot do because it's challenging for me.
01:35:53.359 --> 01:35:56.079
So, anyways, got you a good bag.
01:35:56.159 --> 01:36:04.479
Now you can walk around in the streets of our vacation spot for a little bit and show you the one and yeah, I'll take this one too.
01:36:04.720 --> 01:36:06.800
So, anywhootyo, that's it.
01:36:06.960 --> 01:36:09.039
We gotta go pack and we've gotta eat.
01:36:09.199 --> 01:36:10.720
Yeah, send a bunch and then pack.
01:36:10.960 --> 01:36:11.840
Need to go to the bathroom.
01:36:11.920 --> 01:36:13.520
And Cinnabon needs to potty.
01:36:13.680 --> 01:36:15.840
So thank y'all for listening.
01:36:16.560 --> 01:36:18.399
All right, guys, thank you so much.
01:36:18.560 --> 01:36:20.239
Appreciate you for tuning in.
01:36:20.399 --> 01:36:22.640
This is the Refreshingly Normal podcast.
01:36:22.720 --> 01:36:23.680
I am Kefla.
01:36:23.920 --> 01:36:24.800
I am Kree.
01:36:25.359 --> 01:36:27.760
And as always, we'll see you when we see you.
01:36:28.000 --> 01:36:28.399
Bye.
01:36:28.560 --> 01:36:29.039
Bye.
01:36:29.279 --> 01:36:30.079
Peace.
01:36:30.319 --> 01:36:31.840
Thank you for my bag.