WEBVTT
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Paranormal Salad.
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The Dressing. The Ember Timeline. An RJPC Studio Audio Production.
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Written by Robert Jerome Pagan. Performed by Jax Ember. Created
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and produced by Robert Jerome Pagan. This program is a
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work of dramatic fiction. Listener discretion is advised.
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Carl hated ghosts. That's the first thing you should know.
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Do not fear them exactly. Fear requires respect. Carl was
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offended by Ghost. His position was, if you had already died,
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the least you could do was stop causing production delays.
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We met in a church basement because Thorne needed someone
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to document a case, and the original camera operator had
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called in sick. I was thirty minutes late. Carl was
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leaning against a folding table checking batteries. He looked up
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and said, You are jacks. I said, You are judgmental.
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You are thirty minutes late.
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So accurate, then. That was our first conversation. I would
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like to tell you I knew immediately. I did not.
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I thought he was attractive.
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Very attractive. That is not the same as destiny. Attractive
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men are common. Compatible attractive men are a crit. Carl
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had dark hair, a patient face, broad shoulders, and the
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kind of calm body language that made runes look less
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complicated around him. He wore practical shoes. This became important
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because I do not. He also had a wedding ring,
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tan white.
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I noticed. Of course, I noticed. He noticed. We notice. Divorced,
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he said. I did not ask. Your face did.
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Apparently, my face has always been a security vulnerability. The
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case was boring. I mean, that lovingly. Most good paranormal
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investigations are boring. Hours of checking, wiring environmental conditions, building history,
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medication changes, sleep patterns, animal activity, and whether somebody's uncle
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installed a ceiling fan incorrectly in 1987. Carl filmed everything.
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Not just the interesting moments. That was new for me.
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I asked why.
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Because if something happens, I want the five minutes before it, too.
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That sentence changed how I documented cases. Carl understood context
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before I did. At two in the morning, we were
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sitting on the basement floor eating vending machine crackers.
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When the motion sensors activated upstairs.
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I stood.
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Carl kept eating. You coming?
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I asked.
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No.
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Why?
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Because the building has mice. We checked. We checked one room.
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So you think it is a mouse. I think crackers
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are winning. I went upstairs alone.
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It was a mouse. When I came back, Carl held
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out the cracker packet. Ghost, shut up.
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That was probably when I started falling in love with him.
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Not because he was right. Because he didn't need me
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to be impressive. Carl had worked production for years. Corporate shoots,
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local television documentaries, wedding when money got thin. He knew
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cameras and sound well enough to distrust both. He had
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seen editors manufacture reactions, producers move events out of order,
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and people become more certain about what happened after seeing.
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The version that made air.
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He believed evidence mattered and He also believed evidence could
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lie without being fake. That idea became foundational to the
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show later. Our first date was not official. I asked
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if he wanted coffee after a case. He said, are
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you asking me professionally? No. Good.
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You're exhausted professionally. We went to dinner.
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He ordered pancakes at midnight. I judged him. He said,
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You spent six hours asking a wall questions.
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That was work. And these are pancakes. We kissed in
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the parking lot. Not immediately.
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There was conversation first. There was the awkward moment when
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two adult men know exactly what is happening and still
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pretend one of them might suddenly need to discuss traffic.
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Carl said, You're thinking too loudly. I do not know
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what that means. It means either kiss me or stop
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looking at my mouth.
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So I kissed him.
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I spent years believing desire arrived with danger attached. Carl
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kissed me and nothing terrible happened. No lights exploded, no
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woman appeared in a mirror, no bishop knocked on the
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car window. A truck drove past, playing terrible music. Kylie Minogue.
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Carl laughed against my mouth. That ordinary stupid sound did
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more for me than years of theology. We went home together.
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Three dates later.
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I'm not describing Carl's... dick. You have enough information. He
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was handsome. I was in love earlier than I admitted.
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We were adults. Use your imagination. What matters is that
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after he put one foot against... Mine while he slept.
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The first time it happened, I moved away because I
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was not.
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Used to sleeping beside someone. Half asleep, he found me again.
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His foot touched mine. That became home.
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Years later, after he disappeared, I would wake in the
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middle of the night and move my foot towards an
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empty side of the bed before I remembered. Grief lives
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in the body before it learns language. Carl learned about
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the woman in the closet because he closed the closet door.
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Not dramatically. He was putting clothes away. He closed it.
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I opened it. He closed it again later. I opened
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it again.
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The third time, he stood in the bedroom doorway and said,
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What is happening?
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Nothing.
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Nothing.
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You keep opening the closet. I prefer it open.
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Why?
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I could have lied. I almost did. Instead, I told him.
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Not everything.
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Enough.
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The seminary.
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Bishop. Woman. Names.
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Carl. Carl listened. Without interrupting.
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When I finished, he walked to the closet and took
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the door off its track.
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I stared at him. What are you doing?
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You prefer it open. You don't have to remove the
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fucking door. I'm solving the problem permanently.
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This is a rental. We will put it back. Where
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are we putting the door?
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He looked around. That was the first flaw in his plan.
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We slept for six months with the closet door leaning
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against the bedroom wall because Carl loved me.
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And was sometimes an idiot. That is the kind of
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love story I trust.
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Our first real date happened by accident because neither of
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us wanted to call it a date. We had finished
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a case early and ended up at a 24-hour diner
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with equipment cases stacked beside the booth. Carl ordered pancakes
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at midnight. I ordered black coffee and fries because apparently.
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I was raised by wolves. He asked what I did
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when I was not investigating things. I said, read. What else? Research.
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That is reading with anxiety. I cook. What do you cook?
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I thought about it.
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Eggs.
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So no hobbies. He smiled when he said it.
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I noticed his hand's That irritated me because apparently my
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entire romantic life begins with hands. Daniel would have enjoyed
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the pattern. When the check came, Carl took it. I said,
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absolutely not. You paid for batteries. That was production. This
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is dinner. So this is a date? Carl looked at
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me and then looked at the receipt. Do you want
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it to be?
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I could have joked. I almost did. Yes. That was
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the first clean yes of my adult life.
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You have been listening to Paranormal Salad. The Dressing. The
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Ember Timeline. Written by Robert Jerome Pagan. Performed by Jax Ember. Created, directed, edited,
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and produced by Robert Jerome Pagan. Sound design and production
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by RJPC Studios Audio. Paranormal Salad, The Ember Timeline, are
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productions of RJPC Studios, LLC. Follow Paranormal Salad wherever you
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listen to podcasts for the next confession.
1
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Paranormal Salad.
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00:00:01.750 --> 00:00:07.490
The Dressing. The Ember Timeline. An RJPC Studio Audio Production.
3
00:00:08.410 --> 00:00:14.699
Written by Robert Jerome Pagan. Performed by Jax Ember. Created
4
00:00:14.779 --> 00:00:18.859
and produced by Robert Jerome Pagan. This program is a
5
00:00:18.899 --> 00:00:22.339
work of dramatic fiction. Listener discretion is advised.
6
00:00:26.250 --> 00:00:29.429
Carl hated ghosts. That's the first thing you should know.
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Do not fear them exactly. Fear requires respect. Carl was
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offended by Ghost. His position was, if you had already died,
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the least you could do was stop causing production delays.
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We met in a church basement because Thorne needed someone
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to document a case, and the original camera operator had
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called in sick. I was thirty minutes late. Carl was
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leaning against a folding table checking batteries. He looked up
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and said, You are jacks. I said, You are judgmental.
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You are thirty minutes late.
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So accurate, then. That was our first conversation. I would
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like to tell you I knew immediately. I did not.
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I thought he was attractive.
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Very attractive. That is not the same as destiny. Attractive
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men are common. Compatible attractive men are a crit. Carl
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had dark hair, a patient face, broad shoulders, and the
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kind of calm body language that made runes look less
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complicated around him. He wore practical shoes. This became important
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because I do not. He also had a wedding ring,
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tan white.
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I noticed. Of course, I noticed. He noticed. We notice. Divorced,
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he said. I did not ask. Your face did.
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Apparently, my face has always been a security vulnerability. The
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case was boring. I mean, that lovingly. Most good paranormal
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investigations are boring. Hours of checking, wiring environmental conditions, building history,
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medication changes, sleep patterns, animal activity, and whether somebody's uncle
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installed a ceiling fan incorrectly in 1987. Carl filmed everything.
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Not just the interesting moments. That was new for me.
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I asked why.
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Because if something happens, I want the five minutes before it, too.
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That sentence changed how I documented cases. Carl understood context
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before I did. At two in the morning, we were
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sitting on the basement floor eating vending machine crackers.
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When the motion sensors activated upstairs.
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I stood.
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Carl kept eating. You coming?
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I asked.
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No.
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Why?
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Because the building has mice. We checked. We checked one room.
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So you think it is a mouse. I think crackers
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are winning. I went upstairs alone.
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It was a mouse. When I came back, Carl held
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out the cracker packet. Ghost, shut up.
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That was probably when I started falling in love with him.
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Not because he was right. Because he didn't need me
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to be impressive. Carl had worked production for years. Corporate shoots,
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local television documentaries, wedding when money got thin. He knew
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cameras and sound well enough to distrust both. He had
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00:04:00.699 --> 00:04:05.210
seen editors manufacture reactions, producers move events out of order,
56
00:04:05.310 --> 00:04:10.030
and people become more certain about what happened after seeing.
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The version that made air.
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00:04:13.009 --> 00:04:17.560
He believed evidence mattered and He also believed evidence could
59
00:04:17.660 --> 00:04:23.319
lie without being fake. That idea became foundational to the
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00:04:23.399 --> 00:04:28.529
show later. Our first date was not official. I asked
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00:04:28.569 --> 00:04:31.550
if he wanted coffee after a case. He said, are
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you asking me professionally? No. Good.
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You're exhausted professionally. We went to dinner.
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He ordered pancakes at midnight. I judged him. He said,
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You spent six hours asking a wall questions.
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That was work. And these are pancakes. We kissed in
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the parking lot. Not immediately.
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There was conversation first. There was the awkward moment when
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two adult men know exactly what is happening and still
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pretend one of them might suddenly need to discuss traffic.
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Carl said, You're thinking too loudly. I do not know
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what that means. It means either kiss me or stop
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looking at my mouth.
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So I kissed him.
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I spent years believing desire arrived with danger attached. Carl
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kissed me and nothing terrible happened. No lights exploded, no
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woman appeared in a mirror, no bishop knocked on the
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car window. A truck drove past, playing terrible music. Kylie Minogue.
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Carl laughed against my mouth. That ordinary stupid sound did
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more for me than years of theology. We went home together.
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Three dates later.
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I'm not describing Carl's... dick. You have enough information. He
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was handsome. I was in love earlier than I admitted.
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We were adults. Use your imagination. What matters is that
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after he put one foot against... Mine while he slept.
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The first time it happened, I moved away because I
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was not.
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Used to sleeping beside someone. Half asleep, he found me again.
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His foot touched mine. That became home.
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Years later, after he disappeared, I would wake in the
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00:06:34.550 --> 00:06:36.870
middle of the night and move my foot towards an
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00:06:36.910 --> 00:06:42.509
empty side of the bed before I remembered. Grief lives
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00:06:42.750 --> 00:06:49.000
in the body before it learns language. Carl learned about
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the woman in the closet because he closed the closet door.
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Not dramatically. He was putting clothes away. He closed it.
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I opened it. He closed it again later. I opened
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it again.
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The third time, he stood in the bedroom doorway and said,
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What is happening?
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Nothing.
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Nothing.
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You keep opening the closet. I prefer it open.
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Why?
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I could have lied. I almost did. Instead, I told him.
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Not everything.
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Enough.
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The seminary.
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Bishop. Woman. Names.
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Carl. Carl listened. Without interrupting.
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When I finished, he walked to the closet and took
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the door off its track.
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I stared at him. What are you doing?
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You prefer it open. You don't have to remove the
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fucking door. I'm solving the problem permanently.
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This is a rental. We will put it back. Where
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are we putting the door?
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He looked around. That was the first flaw in his plan.
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We slept for six months with the closet door leaning
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against the bedroom wall because Carl loved me.
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And was sometimes an idiot. That is the kind of
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love story I trust.
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Our first real date happened by accident because neither of
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us wanted to call it a date. We had finished
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a case early and ended up at a 24-hour diner
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with equipment cases stacked beside the booth. Carl ordered pancakes
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at midnight. I ordered black coffee and fries because apparently.
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I was raised by wolves. He asked what I did
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when I was not investigating things. I said, read. What else? Research.
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That is reading with anxiety. I cook. What do you cook?
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I thought about it.
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Eggs.
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So no hobbies. He smiled when he said it.
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I noticed his hand's That irritated me because apparently my
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entire romantic life begins with hands. Daniel would have enjoyed
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the pattern. When the check came, Carl took it. I said,
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absolutely not. You paid for batteries. That was production. This
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is dinner. So this is a date? Carl looked at
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me and then looked at the receipt. Do you want
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it to be?
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I could have joked. I almost did. Yes. That was
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the first clean yes of my adult life.
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You have been listening to Paranormal Salad. The Dressing. The
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Ember Timeline. Written by Robert Jerome Pagan. Performed by Jax Ember. Created, directed, edited,
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and produced by Robert Jerome Pagan. Sound design and production
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00:10:02.639 --> 00:10:08.759
by RJPC Studios Audio. Paranormal Salad, The Ember Timeline, are
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00:10:08.799 --> 00:10:15.299
productions of RJPC Studios, LLC. Follow Paranormal Salad wherever you
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00:10:15.320 --> 00:10:17.980
listen to podcasts for the next confession.
