044 Just Keep Show'n Up Podcast (ft. Jamal Roberts)

Jamal Audio: Hey, what's going on everybody? I'd like to welcome you to another episode of the Just Keep Showing Up Podcast. This is your man Derek, and today I'm here with Jamal. What's going on, Jamal? What's going on, Derek? Man, I'm doing good. ⁓ we had a conversation in the gym. Most of these podcasts, man, has been from folks in the gym. But some of the friends that I've had for a long time. And like I was telling you, I was like, man, I ⁓ here we come into another month. And I was supposed to do a show with ⁓ with one of the ⁓ owners of the gym, but just things didn't work out. I'm still get that show in and talk to ⁓ talk to Nick just about some things. ⁓ but we started talking and when you was talking, I was like, man, thinking to myself, like man, it'd be good to have that brother on the show. Just cause like I just just the things you were saying and then you a you offered, I was like, ⁓ yes. ⁓ You know, it's no problem at all, man. So thank you for saying yes. ⁓ thank you for being here, man. Thank you for having me I appreciate it. Yes, yes, sir. ⁓ I'd like to start off the show with ⁓ asking my guests that share little bit about themselves. There's no right or wrong answer, man. You just whatever you want to share about yourself. Yes, sir. ⁓ name's Jamal. I'm a thirty two year old young man, ⁓ born in Williamsburg, Virginia. ⁓ grew up in Anorona County, Maryland, where I spent the majority of my life. ⁓ have a son, single father, enjoy sports, ⁓ been on my fitness journey, of course that's how me and you met. Yeah. ⁓ I think this is my going on my second year. Okay. ⁓ of being consistent at it. ⁓ yeah, here we are. Happy to be here. Yeah, man. I I appreciate it. And ⁓ yeah the gym has been a very ⁓ special place for me and it's the second year. You probably think you must have started right when they when they opened up then. Really? Not too long not too long after 'cause I think it's been two years. Okay. That they've been open. I wanna say March of ⁓ What do you twenty four? I could be wrong. Okay, so it's ⁓ maybe January of twenty four. Yeah. 'Cause I moved back to Maryland here ⁓ Labor Day weekend last year. So coming up on a year. Yeah, I think it was probably me. My first talk to you was like your locks, man. I'm like that brother locks. ⁓ that's my locks, my my my locks ⁓ where I want to be. Yeah, then I went through the whole process of getting some stuff done. But yes, I think that's when we started talking, man. So ⁓ yeah, it's a good thing. So man, it's the Just Keep Showing Up Podcast, man, so we talk about ⁓ kind of whatever you want to talk about, but it's start with this first question. ⁓ maybe this this happened ⁓ what was a specific moment in your life when you felt like giving up either professionally or personally? And what was the turning point to to keep you going? And whatever that may be. It don't have to be anything deep or anything like that, or just whatever it is for you. If that's happened for you. You know, ⁓ not you it it's a deep question, right? Yeah. So I my son's mother and I split when right before he turned one. Yeah. and through those years we've been co parenting some years a lot better than others. Mhm. ⁓ but as of recently, so about what kind of was the catalyst of me moving back home is ⁓ she was in an abusive relationship. Mm and ⁓ long story short, like I don't play about my kid. Yeah. And you know, because there wasn't any custody order or any legal things in place, I didn't really have the power to wanna protect him the way I thought he should be. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. and through like through that, you know, she gave me a hard time ⁓ just trying to do the things what I thought was best for him and his safety. and it just it you know it just got rough. You know what I'm saying? I just wanna just throw my hands up like man just do whatever you want. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yes. ⁓ but you know, I see the little boy and I was like, you know, I when I see my son as cliche as it is, I see a lot of me and him. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah. And I know like how I grew up and some of the things I wish I had or wish somebody had different me. I don't want him to feel those same things. So that's kind of one of the things that kinda just keeps me going as far as the situation. Yeah, that's that's good, man. And it's it's ⁓ that can be really rough. You know, I went through a divorce and I try to share things, man, just to kind of s repeat back to what what what you're saying. You know, and it's it's tough. Like life could just be hard. Like you don't you don't meet a person and get with the person and have kids with the envision that you're gonna be separated, you know? Yeah. ⁓ but that's it happens and you just gotta gotta keep going. I saw a thing today, man, a thing about being an adult in life, you gotta keep going. Yeah. Roll with the punches. I think I think something that's very important in that is and I still use the word honoring, but I think it's important to honor the fact that it is hard. You know, and and if you can for me, if you can honor that fact that it is hard And that just becomes a part of it and you know that's just a part of the process. Like you benched the other day, I forget how much it was. Two twenty five. Yeah, two twenty five, man. And it's like you did it a couple of sets of it and it's hard, but you wanted to do it and you did it. You know, you know that hard comes with it, you know. And then you look back and like I was telling you, we in the gym with all those people that's working out. Two twenty five to some folks and we're like, ⁓ he just benching two twenty five like man, you doing way more than the average American. You doing way more than than above average American, you know. So that's what it is, just continuing to try to press on, man, and doing the best you can for your kids, you know? So yeah, and ultimately it's out of your control, but you could just posture yourself. Yeah. And do the best you can. Yeah, man. Yeah. So that's that's good, man. ⁓ so kinda going to the next thing, thinking about a day when you were feeling on top of the world and a day when you were struggling. ⁓ what does showing up look like then, you know? So some days like you pulled up, I saw your car, you got a very nice car. So I know probably even getting that car was like a But a a big day for it. I don't know if it was or not, but it's 'cause it seemed like it's the type of car you don't just go buy. That's like Well, it's crazy how it happened. So, man, I think thirty two. So, I'd probably say like the last like seven to ten years has been such a roller coaster, right? so, you know, twenty one, twenty two, twenty three ish, I feel like that's kinda the time you're still trying to figure it out. Like you get your freedom and you're like Man, I'm like, you know, I could do whatever, right? ⁓ a lot of my friends went to school. I didn't go to school. ⁓ I just worked, I I've kept a job since I was fourteen years old. Wow. Yeah. And ⁓ I came across this opportunity, ⁓ how I got in my line of work now, ⁓ as a Oracle DVA where it was like it was pretty sketchy. ⁓ it was like a trade school, they weren't really official, but they pretty much teach you all the skills. Yeah. They hook you up with a resume and then you just start applying for jobs. Yeah. and you know, as I'm going through the process I'm like, you know, I'm kinda skeptical, but I'm trying to stick to the script 'cause I'm like, you know, I'm a commit and I'm gonna see this through and whatever happens, happens. Mm-hmm. ⁓ and so how it works right, so it's like it's a big class and then at the end of the class, whoever's left, ⁓ you start working like interview prep. Mm-hmm. ⁓ but you kinda it's really like cheating the system a little bit because what will happen is like we would interview pre pretty much like all day. We would go in there like nine in the morning. Mm mm wouldn't leave till like ten at night. Like we're just in there. Yeah. And ⁓ So like let's say you would have an interview. So you have your laptop set up and then you're taking the interview, but I'm behind the laptop with a dry erasebo. So like if you start stumbling, I could write something real quick that kinda help you get back on track. Yeah, yeah. Boom. So ⁓ we're at the point everybody's applying for jobs. And the group I was working with, a lot of the people were getting like three, four interviews a day. And like not trying to see my own horn, but I was one of the people that like things click. Yeah, yeah. Pretty fast for me, right? So like I'm like, all right, cool, like my time has come. My time will come. We're like three months in, just still applying, still applying. ⁓ finally got an interview and it was with Bank of America which initially was the catalyst for me to move to Charlotte. Mm-hmm. I wanna say that was like September. Had one interview, didn't hear anything from for like three months. They called me in like January. And they like, Yeah, we want a second interview. Knocked out the second interview. They were like, All right, we wanna hire you. Mm-hmm. You have two weeks to move. And they're not covering any moving costs. So, you know, ⁓ to go back to like being on top of the world, it was one of those where it's like, you know, you keep putting in the work, keep putting in the work, yeah, not knowing when it's gonna come, but when it finally came, you were like, you know, I did that. Yeah, man. You what I'm saying? Yeah. ⁓ yeah, so that's probably that's Was the second part of the question? And just just a time when when you ⁓ when you kind of felt like giving up on something, you know? And you kept going. Probably This fitness weight loss journey. Interesting, man. Like it's been because I've been like a heavy set dude. Like I at my heaviest was probably around COVID. I was pushing like 260. Okay. ⁓ wasn't working out at all. I was definitely just eating laid up in the house, Netflixing it up, right? Like a whole lot of people, man, yeah. And I was like, ⁓ I had a doctor's appointment and my doctor was like, ⁓ yeah. Like your blood pressure's pretty high and blood pressure issues running my family. And I'm like, all right. And they try they put me on this medication, but I'm like I'm not for the pharmaceutical industry. So, you know, I'm like, all right, I'm gonna try to work this off. ⁓ not really having the knowledge of what to do. I was like, I'll just need to work out and maybe I'll eat a couple of salads here and then it'll couldn't shake the weight. ⁓ And I I just got to a point where I was like, Man, whatever, like I'm gonna just go back to do what's making me happy, eat, do whatever and whatever happens, happens. Yeah. ⁓ but what kind of ⁓ triggered me to kind of restart scrolling on Instagram, ⁓ there's this guy, Terrence, ⁓ I forget his last name, but he actually used to play in the NFL. Okay. And he ended up being my ⁓ fitness coach. Okay. And so his story is really dope because, you know, he's at the peak of peaks. He was offensive lineman, ⁓ for quite a few teams. And then he didn't really take care of his body, ended up getting injured, and then all of a sudden he was out of the league. Mm hmm and he was like, you know, he I don't don't think he finished college and so he was like, Yeah, I didn't have any work. You know what I'm saying? He was like he was at rock bottom. I'm a football player. Yeah, and I'm a football player. And I was at the highest of the you know, you're in the league. You know what I'm saying? Uh-huh. And so that's when he started his journey, ⁓ which I can relate to because he was a bigger dude too. And, you know, he was very vulnerable. And, you know, I I think he had lost over like a hundred pounds at the time and it's still working. And I was like, you know, let me just take the guidance from somebody to teach me what I don't know. You know what I'm saying? And so that kind of helped me restart and kinda get back on track and to where I'm at now. Not exactly where I want to be, but better than where I started. Yeah, exactly, man. And seeing that it's possible, you know. And Yeah, and I I I it's so interesting. I like the part where you say, I was gonna go back to eating and doing what makes me happy. I mean, that's a thing to do too. You know, it's like, hey, I got all this stuff coming at me, the doctor wants me take this and do that. You know what? I'm just gonna go do what make me happy, whatever happens. I go Yeah, so I I respect and it's just so interesting, man, you see people at the gym. Now go back to the gym, you just never know their story. No, not at all. You know, 'cause we see what was in front of us. You know, you're tall, you know, already a tall guy. And I'm thinking two sixty, ⁓ that ain't a whole lot, but you know, everybody's different, you know. ⁓ so yeah. 'Cause you don't look I mean you don't look out of shape now. I appreciate that from ⁓ working out, man. So that's good. ⁓ So here's another man kind of tie right back to working out because we had these days when motivation fades. What's the core belief routine or mindset you lean into ⁓ to keep going again? Building systems. Building systems. I like that, man. Explain that. I like I just like the concept. I think right. It's like the motivation is gonna die. You know what I'm saying? Like Yeah. And I'm I'm a believer in you're only as good as your system. You know what I'm saying? So, ⁓ you know, for instance, like it just has it's kinda just routine, you know what I'm saying? Like I wear out like for me personally, ⁓ I operate best when I'm just on autopilot. Like Okay. So interesting. Like I don't have to think about it. So like ⁓ my my girlfriend, like she like if you come to my house, my room, like everything is organized, right? She's like you're a neat freak, like I but I was like, There's a reason because it's like I don't have to think about where anything is. Everything has its own designated spot. So interesting. Yeah, and it makes sense. And so it's like when I think about like fitness or working out or even just eating right, like Yes. If I can take the decision fatigue out of it, just I think it it makes things a lot more easier. You know what I'm saying? Yes. So I I lean into that a lot where it's like I don't even want to think about it, if I can just do it mhm and go and then Whatever else. What what ⁓ I like that decision fatigue ⁓ a lot. I've I've never heard that before. Decision fatigue, I yeah, that's like a whole nother man, that's really good. So what what happens when when something is out of place? How do you respond to that? ⁓ it's just so fascinating to me that the the concept and how you defined the reason why everything is organized for you. It's not so much it's not a neat freak, it's what helps you survive and thrive in life, that you can flow. Now you're just flowing. And I'm just kinda repeating back what I when I hear you but I think what I'm getting from what you're saying is like it allows you to just flow. Exactly. Without having to worry about other things than flowing. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah, I think think especially these days, right? Because we are s such a in a place of distraction and sometimes unconsciously, you know what I'm saying? Yes. And I think, you know, I just do my best to try to have the self awareness like of just understanding me as a person and also my environment. Yes. Yes. And I that helps me just kinda just Stay aligned. I'm not saying you know things don't get off track, but it's ⁓ it makes it easier for me to be like, all right, like you're slipping a little bit. Mm-hmm. You need to do X, Y, and Z to get back on track. So that's kinda how I look. I really think, man, that's gonna carry you a very long way. Like that's gonna that's gonna carry you v a very, very long way. And ⁓ something you just said, ⁓ like stay in the line. Gosh, you just said something. And just made me think about it's back to the flow thing. You're able to just flow through life. And yeah, it's that's I don't know. I and I think I think about things through football and it makes me think about like somebody you have like a blocking scheme set up and the running back just knows this person's doing their job, they're doing their job and I'm just gonna go to this hole. It may not look like it's open right now, but we practice this. When I get there. And when I get there it should be open. That's like And you can just and now you as a running back can just focus on running, yeah, and those steps or whatever you practice, and when you get to that hole, you know it's gonna be open and ready for you to go. So you don't really have to slow down, you can just go. Just do your thing. That's a very efficient way. That's really good. Try to be, and I think because I I'm my mom's only child. I have a brother, I have two brothers and a sister. But when I was pretty young, probably four or five, ⁓ because my the rest of my family's in Virginia, yeah. ⁓ my mom and moved to Maryland and ⁓ growing up like my mom worked crazy. My mom is a ⁓ nurse practitioner right now. Okay. So I mean she has like two master's degrees. I think she's working on her doctorate. So like you know she's been ⁓ like holding it down, you know but in result, like I spent a lot of time alone as a kid. Okay. Yeah. And it put me in a place of having to understand myself and also just like Just being able to see things from a different light instead of always in it. You know what I'm saying? It's one of those where like I feel like if you're able to take a step back and kind of see the bigger picture, you can see where you fit in and where you can kind of help things move forward and push forward. Man, you have no idea how much that resonates with me. Cause you just explain you just explained something that makes sense to me. Yeah, yeah. That I never understood outside of just my personality. And I'm like a zodiac sign person, so like my zodiac sign kinda matches. I'm a Libra. It kinda matches, goes with my personality. But I never once thought about what you just said. Because I do feel like I can and I explain to you why it really resonates with me. I feel like I can ⁓ have an opinion on something, a very strong opinion, but and I can also listen to another person's opinion and it doesn't change my opinion, but I'm still able to engage in what they're saying. Like I could remove myself of what I think and put that right here. And then now I can have a conversation with them based on what they think and allow what they think to be the subject of what's going on. Not try to just inject myself back in. And then realize if I hear something new that I agree with like, ⁓ man, that's good. And I'm an only child. Yeah. And I spend a lot of time on myself. So you know. So I feel, but I didn't know I never defined it the way you just said it, to where you're by yourself and you haven't time to kind of pull yourself back and looking at things from a very ⁓ I guess objective point of view. Yeah, exactly. You know what I mean? I never thought about that. Yeah. That's like fascinating to me, man. Yeah. Cause it makes sense. It really makes sense to me, you know? That's really good, man. Goodness. That's really good, man. Thank you for sharing that. ⁓ looking back, man, what's what's a small decision, a habit you made that you now realize had the biggest impact on where you are today? Yeah, it's probably dead dead. I think it's it's dead. Man. So we're gonna go ⁓ go panoramic view. We can't we're gonna do that. I don't know. People gonna see that it's gonna switch, but I feel like it can't see you. ⁓ man. That's terrible. I may be able to pause it. Let me ⁓ let me pause. Okay. Pause. 'Cause it'll ⁓