20- Butt Stuff

WEBVTT
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Do you call him daddy do i call her daddy
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call her.
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Hi, daddies. Daddies? Is that you? We're here. We're alive.
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The fathers are here. The fathers are here. Today, we're
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mourning the loss of a guest that was a supposed
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to be, a should have been, a would have been,
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a could have been. Tana Mongeau will not be joining us,
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but we are going to get into it. Yeah. If
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you guys follow us on social media, you know that
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we announced that we were supposed to have Tana Mongeau
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on our show as a guest. Her people reached out
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to us, etc., And now she's not coming on. And
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it's a fucking story. It is a story. So stay
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tuned because we're going to get into all of it.
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We're going to tell you guys every single thing that
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happened because we are fucking raw and real with the
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Daddy Gang. Yeah. And we're not going to leave anything
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to the imagination. We're going to bring you guys all
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the tea. But for now, we're just going to accept
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that we got ditched. Yep. Okay. Okay, we have a
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couple other things that we want to address before we
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get into all of our normal nasty shit. Yes, we
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have some housekeeping. You guys... The fucking khakis. Dude, it's
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like we've said it and we keep saying it and
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people still have questions. So we're just going to keep
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answering them. So when we say khaki pants, they are
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the baggy tan pants that have pockets all over them.
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It's a certain type of pant. Okay, there's two different
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type of khakis also that are no-nos. The ones that
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are like cargo khakis with all those pockets you're talking about.
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And then there are the ones that like the prep
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school kids have to wear to like boarding schools that
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I went to. It's like... Either of those are no-goes. Yes.
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If you're wearing pants that are tan or cream or whatever.
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Totally fine. Like the chinos. Yes. Fine. That is totally fine,
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you guys. You guys know what we mean by khakis. Okay,
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can I say? What? The fucking khaki hoes. Shorts. For
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some reason, people are literally tweeting us, DMing us, being like, okay,
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we get what you're saying about the khakis. Like, I
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hear you guys. But what about the shorts? Khaki pants,
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khaki shorts are the same fucking thing. Like, I will
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not have it. It's like, I don't know why people
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are just so offended about the khaki pants. They're not
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willing to let them go. No, there's other shit you
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can wear, I promise. Knock it the fuck off, guys. Anyways, guys.
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It's just a particular type of pants. Like, not all
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of them are like that. Yeah. Another housekeeping. You guys
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freaked out when we said that men don't jack off
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to nudes. Okay? Guys. I understand. I totally understand if
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you are, you know, in the sixth grade that you might...
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Go to a nude to jack off. Or if you're
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traveling through like a Bermuda Triangle situation, you don't have
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high speed internet, you're going to go to a nude.
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Sailing the seas and you can't get your porn up
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on your phone. Then you go back to the nude. Right.
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I mean, there were guys that like wrote in that
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they were like on a military base and they were like,
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you know, we don't have access to internet. And they
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were like, you know, Sophia, send me a picture of
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your pussy. Which, yeah, Daddy Gang, if you ever are
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starting to hook up with a military guy, send the
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military men nudes.
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Yeah.
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Yes they need our news they're serving our country like
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fucking act accordingly yeah so send them news but besides
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those situations I just if you have access to porn
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and you have access to watching like a girl get
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DP'd and then girl on girl and all this shit
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you're not gonna be like oh my god her nipple
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is in this I'm going to town it's true I
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think guys like they obviously at one point in their
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life are jacking off to a nude but We're not
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saying that. We're saying if they have access to fucking porn,
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they're not going to watch a standstill photo and be
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trying to imagine what she can do with popping that
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pussy as opposed to watching porn, watching them actually pop
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the pussy. What guys do is if they're like kind
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of talking to a girl... They will find porn that
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looks like her. That's what every guy does. That's their go-to.
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So trust and believe. They're not doing it to your nude.
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They're going to find porn of someone that looks like you. Right.
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So everyone, shut the fuck up. Also, I want to
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bring something up that I saw this morning that I
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got so fucking annoyed. And it goes with social media.
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I wish we brought it up last week. The lip
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singing to a song on your fucking story. Girls, with
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a filter on. I am so done with girls trying
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to sing to a song and post it while they
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look hot. Post a hot video of yourself looking hot.
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I don't need you singing to Bruno fucking Mars. Like
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looking out the window and then looking back. They like
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look around and like look sexily at the camera. While
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they're like lightly lip singing. It's what Kylie Jenner does
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and you're not fucking Kylie Jenner. Any singing usually. Any singing.
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In any capacity. It's true. Also, guys don't think it's hot.
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Like one, guys don't think the fucking filters are cute
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when you do it every time. They don't think the
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fucking singing is hot. If you're going to post a
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fucking thirst trap video, post it. And then move on
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with your life. The singing in the car needs to stop.
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What is that meme? It's like. I'm literally going to
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report you to the police because that cannot be safe.
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Driving conditions. Oh, there we go. Yeah. All right. So
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let's get into the episode. First of all, the whole
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Instagram model becoming DJ. I want to just say all
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of these hot models out there need.
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To stop attempting and trying to swish the beats. Is
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that how the young kids say it these days? Did
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you just say swish the beats? Swish the beats. Hold on,
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hold on, hold on. Before we get into this topic,
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because I agree they need to knock it off. Alex,
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there is something you guys need to know about this girl.
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She does not know about music. We were talking about
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house music, EDM music, and she was talking about the
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people that like make EDM she's like oh yeah like
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the EDMers and I about died he's an EDMer dude
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I just I know I have to admit it is
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truly my biggest fear when I go on a date
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when I start talking to a new guy Him asking me,
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what kind of music do you like slash listen to?
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I just about die inside. I don't know what it is.
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Like I make you play all the music. Oh my gosh.
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When we're at home, I'm constantly connected to the Bluetooth
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because let me just put it into perspective. Alex will
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attempt it sometimes and it will be a playlist from,
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I swear to God, like 2009. Yeah. Like, you did
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it the other day, and you played Katy Perry's California Girls.
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You played it, like, seven times, and I was like,
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you know that song was released a while ago, my friend.
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I am the girl that still has the U2 album
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that we were all forced to have on our phones. Like,
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that's what just autoplays. I'm like, oh, what's this jam? Yeah,
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I know. Fuck me. Anyway, so I just have to
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say about the Instagram DMs. Instagram DJs. Jesus. Whoa. Instagram DJs.
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Nobody judge me also for playing that Katy Perry song. Okay.
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It's a good song. Okay. These girls are hot as shit.
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Instagram models. It's like. I wish that they would stay
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in their lane. Stay in their fucking lane. They're hot.
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They have incredible bodies, beautiful faces. People want to see
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them in their swimsuits. They want to see them frolicking
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around the world and posting shit. Why do you need
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to pretend you're a DJ? They need to just embrace
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and work with what the Lord gave them and not
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try to, like I just said, swish beats. Okay. Okay.
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You watch, they'll post clips of their shit. dj set
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and they are behind the dj booth just not even
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touching the buttons just like jumping up and down dude
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their headphones are around their neck i'm like you're not
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doing anything you are you are literally jumping up and
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down you're a hype right they're hype men oh my
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god that's exactly what it is they're hype men and
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it's like well fuck if that's what a dj is
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alex you would blow people out of the water Because
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you are a hype man, essentially. Oh, my God. But no,
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when I think of a DJ, I think of someone
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that is producing music. And then when they're there to
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do a DJ set, they're like cutting music in, you know,
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dropping a beat. Oh, swishing the bass. And they're not
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just jumping around. Yeah. Pretending to like do it. It
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just needs to stop. This is something that is like,
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I think, listen, people shit on Instagram models. And I'm
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not going to because I would love that. I would
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quit this podcast right now. No offense to everyone that
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I love. Bye. Bye. If all I had to do
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was post my body on a picture on Instagram, bye.
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Every single week. But when you're trying to now segue
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into DJing, it needs to stop. For example, what comes
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to mind? Chantel Jeffries.
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Right.
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Charlie Jordan.
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Yep.
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Brooke Evers. Brooke Evers. These girls, you are all beautiful.
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You're hot as shit. Love you all to death. Stop
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standing on the fucking stage and jumping around and acting
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like you were born and destined to be like Diplo.
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Chantel Jeffries is dating Diplo, right? Yes. Okay. Chantel is
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dating Diplo right now. And I don't know if that
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made her truly believe like, this is my passion and calling.
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I see him doing it. Now I can do it.
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She just thinks like through osmosis. No, no, no. Just
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because he's fucking you and entering you doesn't mean now
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that because he entered you, now you somehow have his
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power to be a fucking DJ.
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Look.
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I am all for a girl using a guy to
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further her career. Totally. I mean- Lana Del Rey fucked
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my way up to the top. I love it. Boom.
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But that she's using him to become a DJ? Girlfriend.
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You could do way more. No, no, no. Way more.
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It's just, I think, that makes me think of the
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whole name dropping thing. Oh. Like. Oh. Oh. Oh, my. Oh, God.
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If you weren't listening, I need you to listen. Nothing
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will compare to the name dropping that this guy did
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with Alex. You, I'm sorry. I don't want you to
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out him, but you have to out him because it
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was fucking insane. He's going to like sue us. I
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don't care. All right, guys. I think all of you remember.
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So a few months ago. Yeah, let's tell them the background. Yeah.
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A few months ago, the Call Her Daddy Instagram was
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taken down. You know why? It may have been because
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Sophia and I were soliciting nudes. I don't know. That's
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neither here nor there. We don't need to get into that.
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We don't need to get into that. That's not the
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point of the story. The point of the story is
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the Instagram was taken down and we were freaking out.
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And let us just say that... Love Barstool. Love everyone
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we work with. Everyone was trying so hard to get
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it back up. I was reaching out to people I
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hadn't talked to in like seven years. And I remember
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that night I sat Sophia down once we were like
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four days deep of not having an Instagram and I
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looked at Sophia and I said, listen, Barstool's not going
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to be able to get this done. Nobody that we
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were reaching out to is going to be able to
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get this done. We need to get slutty and we
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need to get slutty quick, Sophia. Girls, the amount of
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things that can be accomplished by just Throwing out some
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cleavage or just, you know. Tempting with the voodoo clam.
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It's insane. It is. We can talk about that more.
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So this is what I did. I had met this
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guy and he had a very prestigious job high up
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somewhere in tech. Okay, let's just say that. I reached
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out to him and I told him. He had some
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serious connections. Very serious connections. I reached out to him
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and I told him that our Instagram was down. Now,
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of course, I flaunted the idea like, oh, yeah, I'll
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come visit you and we can hang out soon, blah, blah.
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But first, I can't do that if I don't get
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the Instagram back down. So we start talking and I'm
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just asking him to connect me with someone through Instagram
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that could get me to the top. And he goes,
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I'll connect you with my boy, Bob, let's say. I'm like, great.
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Let me read the text. He says, I'll hook you
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up with Bob. I connected him with Drake a few
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weeks ago. He helped him with his account. He was
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having issues. I can also reach out to Zuck. He
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can make it happen. Zuck!
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No!
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Zuck! And for all of you listening, Zuck, who do
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you think Zuck is? You don't need to abbreviate Mark Zuckerberg,
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creator of Facebook, with a Zuck. Spell out Mark Zuckerberg,
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you fucking douche. Mark Zuckerberg turned Zuck.
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And the fact that Drake Drake and Zuck were both
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name dropped within a sentence of each other out of
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nowhere in one paragraph like dude.
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I literally had to reread it because guys him saying
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I connected him with Drake a few weeks ago he
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could have just said I connected him with someone a
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few weeks ago and it worked out he's like Drake
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and then Zuck and like we're just tangling and mangling
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with all these celebrities and I'm like I don't give
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a fuck it was that amount of name dropping like
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I am sorry to out this guy, but that is
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the douchiest, most embarrassing thing I've ever read. It really
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is like one of those things where it's like he
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is in his own right so successful. And I'm like,
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but you don't need to drop Drake and Zuck. Zuck! Zuck!
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I will never get over that. Let's talk about sex.
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All right, yeah, let's get into sex. Um, finger in
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00:14:06.649 --> 00:14:11.429
the butt. Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Wow, finger in the butt.
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I want to address because a lot of girls are like, Alex,
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you know, you give us your blowjob tips, but what
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do we do? Do we put a finger up the butt?
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And the answer, ladies, is yes. Of course. Of course
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we flirt and we tickle up the butthole. The butt
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doesn't need to be off-limits. Absolutely not. Don't neglect the butt. However,
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I do have to say, when you are giving a
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guy a blowjob, I am making this a rule unless, again,
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I mean, you don't have to follow this, but Never
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do it on the first hookup because that is also
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a secret weapon, ladies. You can, like I said, you
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00:14:48.429 --> 00:14:50.899
cannot use all of your ammo in your first hookup.
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The butt is such a lead up. It's such a
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build up. It's such an opportunity to spice fucking things up. Guys,
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I mean, you just got to be careful what you're
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throwing out the first time you hook up. For sure.
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So girls, absolutely. Blowjobs need butt action. But I do
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have to say, I'm looking at my fingers. We've talked
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about it. Dude, your nails. I'm like looking at your
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00:15:10.210 --> 00:15:13.649
acrylic nails right now and you could straight murder someone's asshole.
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Straight murder an asshole. Murder an asshole. With one finger. Girls,
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if you wear long nails, you have to fucking cut
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that shit. Dude, I'm not kidding you. When I know
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00:15:24.009 --> 00:15:25.840
I'm going for a dick appointment at some point, if
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00:15:25.899 --> 00:15:28.559
I'm going to see a guy that weekend, I literally...
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00:15:28.259 --> 00:15:30.379
You will see me and my nails will be short.
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00:15:30.399 --> 00:15:34.049
If you see Alex with short nails, she's getting after it.
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But when I have long nails, I'm in a little
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period where I know I'm not going to see a guy.
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So.
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Um, no, but finger in the butt. Dude. Okay. I
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00:15:41.330 --> 00:15:44.370
totally get that. Finger in the butt. I mean, it
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00:15:44.389 --> 00:15:47.080
depends on the guy still. Well, and also, I mean,
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we don't, we can get more in detail of actual details,
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but the whole like come hither thing with your finger,
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once you get in there. It's true because girls, guys
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have prostates. You're stimulating the prostate. When you're giving him
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00:15:58.779 --> 00:16:01.480
a blowjob, he can come ten times faster if you're
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00:16:01.500 --> 00:16:04.330
stimulating his prostate, his balls, and his dick. Hold on.
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00:16:04.899 --> 00:16:09.110
So you stick your entire finger up his butthole. Okay,
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00:16:09.169 --> 00:16:11.470
so this is what we do. First, you're going to
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00:16:11.529 --> 00:16:14.909
maneuver your way down to the taint area, which is
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in between the butt. Guys, the taint and the butt
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00:16:17.870 --> 00:16:21.090
are completely different, and I think that... stimulating them like
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00:16:21.149 --> 00:16:25.110
separately totally your finger massaging the taint is such a
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00:16:25.149 --> 00:16:28.929
different experience in the booty hole so um i think
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00:16:29.129 --> 00:16:33.110
i do think yeah you should be putting a finger
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00:16:33.629 --> 00:16:36.350
in and making a motion it shouldn't just be like
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00:16:36.370 --> 00:16:39.330
sticking in a little what the fuck is the fun
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00:16:39.350 --> 00:16:42.409
in that Wait. There is a prostate to be found
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00:16:42.629 --> 00:16:44.830
and I, Alex Cooper, find it. This is like blowing
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00:16:44.850 --> 00:16:48.129
my mind. So you put your entire finger in. It
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00:16:48.149 --> 00:16:49.750
doesn't have to be the whole finger. And then you
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00:16:49.789 --> 00:16:52.000
do the come hither motion. Like when a guy is
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fingering you. It's like a tapping, light motion. But you
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00:16:55.879 --> 00:16:58.759
have to be fucking comfortable with the guy and he
333
00:16:58.799 --> 00:17:01.120
needs to be comfortable with you. Some guys may be like,
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00:17:01.159 --> 00:17:02.480
hold on, hold on, what are you doing? You've got
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00:17:02.500 --> 00:17:04.500
to ease into it and see his body language. And
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00:17:04.519 --> 00:17:07.029
then you kind of just fish around for that prostate.
337
00:17:07.269 --> 00:17:09.450
With that being said, I do think there's something to
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00:17:09.490 --> 00:17:13.390
say like, Why are girls neglected of the butt? Okay.
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00:17:13.410 --> 00:17:16.269
A finger in there? It's like, I swear to God,
340
00:17:16.289 --> 00:17:18.329
the only thing people talk about is, like, doing shit
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00:17:18.369 --> 00:17:21.089
to a guy's ass. Right? Girls like that. We have
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00:17:21.170 --> 00:17:24.190
an ass, too. I mean, girls totally like that. I
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00:17:24.259 --> 00:17:27.720
think the best position, if you want to try it
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00:17:27.759 --> 00:17:30.059
out with your girl, is when she's on top. Yeah,
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00:17:30.079 --> 00:17:32.140
that's a pretty good one. And I think with girls,
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00:17:33.079 --> 00:17:34.380
and I don't know if this is similar, like, when
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00:17:34.400 --> 00:17:37.240
you're doing it with a guy, like, you should just try...
348
00:17:37.509 --> 00:17:40.349
kind of just putting pressure on her booty hole and
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00:17:40.369 --> 00:17:42.430
just kind of playing around there like before you just
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00:17:42.470 --> 00:17:44.809
stick a finger in yeah i think totally she's gonna
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00:17:44.829 --> 00:17:46.779
be like what the hell totally easing into it is
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00:17:46.859 --> 00:17:49.000
key guys you can't just go right for it's like
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00:17:49.039 --> 00:17:51.039
if you fucking go for anal no lube nothing and
354
00:17:51.079 --> 00:17:53.500
you shove it in there yeah recipe for fucking disaster
355
00:17:53.519 --> 00:17:56.900
totally also if you are like most guys out there
356
00:17:56.960 --> 00:17:58.349
i'm not gonna say most guys but a lot of
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00:17:58.390 --> 00:18:01.509
guys you're wanting to try anal with your girl this
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00:18:01.589 --> 00:18:05.549
is like the perfect segue and like getting her comfortable
359
00:18:05.630 --> 00:18:08.779
with Stuff going in there. You know what I mean?
360
00:18:09.099 --> 00:18:12.160
I love that. So stuff going in there. Right. So
361
00:18:12.339 --> 00:18:14.880
I think that's kind of like how you start segwaying
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00:18:14.920 --> 00:18:17.250
and start letting her know that you're comfortable with it.
363
00:18:17.319 --> 00:18:20.119
She should be comfortable with it. It can feel good. Sophia,
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00:18:20.180 --> 00:18:24.140
I'm a fucking genius. Genius. Can I bring up?
365
00:18:24.900 --> 00:18:25.140
Yeah.
366
00:18:25.359 --> 00:18:29.319
Pegging. All right. Now, we just literally brought this up
367
00:18:29.420 --> 00:18:31.009
to our editor. And he was like, what? And he
368
00:18:31.029 --> 00:18:32.970
didn't even know what it was. So for anyone listening
369
00:18:32.990 --> 00:18:35.289
that doesn't know what pegging is, it's when a girl
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00:18:35.430 --> 00:18:38.519
puts a strap on and fucks her boyfriend in the ass.
371
00:18:39.160 --> 00:18:42.279
We have a lot of people asking, is this weird? One,
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00:18:42.339 --> 00:18:44.799
from the guy's perspective, guys are like, is it weird
373
00:18:44.839 --> 00:18:47.799
if I ask my girlfriend? And two, girls are asking,
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00:18:48.180 --> 00:18:50.700
does it make him gay if he's asking me to
375
00:18:50.720 --> 00:18:52.500
fuck him in the ass? No. No.
376
00:18:52.799 --> 00:18:53.220
No.
377
00:18:53.400 --> 00:18:59.039
No. No. It does not make your man gay at all.
378
00:18:59.119 --> 00:18:59.190
No.
379
00:18:59.240 --> 00:19:01.519
If anything, it does the opposite because he's that fucking
380
00:19:01.579 --> 00:19:04.220
comfortable with his sexuality that he's like, let's give it
381
00:19:04.259 --> 00:19:06.130
a try. Dude, it's like we said, he has a
382
00:19:06.140 --> 00:19:10.190
fucking prostate and guys... It's like, it is not fucking weird.
383
00:19:10.369 --> 00:19:10.549
No.
384
00:19:10.589 --> 00:19:13.480
Have I ever done it? No. Have you done it?
385
00:19:13.609 --> 00:19:15.670
I haven't, but I've had a guy ask me to
386
00:19:15.690 --> 00:19:17.670
do it. Yeah. And honestly, I'm kind of down to
387
00:19:17.710 --> 00:19:19.789
try anything once. Yeah. I think if we were like
388
00:19:19.809 --> 00:19:22.490
a little bit more like into the relationship, like maybe
389
00:19:22.509 --> 00:19:24.049
I would try it. I don't know. I was going
390
00:19:24.069 --> 00:19:26.650
to say, so for pegging for me, I think that
391
00:19:26.809 --> 00:19:28.809
I would probably need to be in a relationship with
392
00:19:28.829 --> 00:19:32.549
the guy because first of all, obviously... some girls may
393
00:19:32.589 --> 00:19:34.690
get freaked out by this and obviously we're getting no
394
00:19:34.730 --> 00:19:37.220
pleasure out of this. You know, it's not like we're like,
395
00:19:37.380 --> 00:19:39.539
he's looking back at it and like, it's like we're
396
00:19:39.579 --> 00:19:41.559
fucking him from behind and it's like hot roking in
397
00:19:41.599 --> 00:19:43.809
his ass. Like it's obviously all for the guy. So
398
00:19:43.829 --> 00:19:44.849
I think I would want to do it if I
399
00:19:44.890 --> 00:19:47.750
was in a relationship. Yeah. Um, but then again, if
400
00:19:47.769 --> 00:19:49.029
you're a real freak and you want to just try
401
00:19:49.049 --> 00:19:50.690
it one time, do it for one. night i think
402
00:19:50.750 --> 00:19:53.329
it's kind of like the most call her daddy thing
403
00:19:53.369 --> 00:19:55.490
you can do it kind of is and i think
404
00:19:55.539 --> 00:19:58.150
like that's going to be something we do this year
405
00:19:58.279 --> 00:19:59.859
alex we're going to venture out and we're going to
406
00:19:59.900 --> 00:20:03.759
try to peg someone I'm not. That is like you
407
00:20:03.799 --> 00:20:07.900
and me at the same time. Let's DP someone together.
408
00:20:08.799 --> 00:20:12.000
We both have strap ons on and we peg. Oh,
409
00:20:12.009 --> 00:20:13.769
I guess we couldn't do that. No, we could, we
410
00:20:13.809 --> 00:20:16.450
could do two in his ass or one in his mouth. Oh,
411
00:20:17.099 --> 00:20:19.460
I would be so down. Guys listening to this, like,
412
00:20:19.480 --> 00:20:22.920
please stop. It's this whole thing. It's like reverse gender roles.
413
00:20:23.019 --> 00:20:25.220
And it's fucking awesome. And I'm here for it. Call
414
00:20:25.240 --> 00:20:28.700
him daddy. No, call her daddy. I was just thinking,
415
00:20:28.900 --> 00:20:31.359
you know how there's always those like horror stories of
416
00:20:31.420 --> 00:20:34.269
like a guy or like a girl shitting from anal.
417
00:20:34.390 --> 00:20:37.069
I wonder if there's any horror stories of a guy
418
00:20:37.170 --> 00:20:39.900
shitting from getting pegged. I want to know. Daddy gang,
419
00:20:39.920 --> 00:20:41.480
let us know if you know. Right in. I need
420
00:20:41.500 --> 00:20:44.619
to know. Because that would, like, low-key be an amazing story. Also,
421
00:20:44.640 --> 00:20:46.700
I know a lot of people are always asking, like,
422
00:20:46.740 --> 00:20:48.839
how the hell do we spice things up? This is
423
00:20:48.880 --> 00:20:51.420
a really good one. Yeah. It could really. Because you
424
00:20:51.440 --> 00:20:53.519
know what? Even if it doesn't work out for you guys,
425
00:20:53.559 --> 00:20:55.759
it's a fucking experience that you tried together. And it's
426
00:20:55.779 --> 00:20:58.119
going to bring you guys closer. Seriously. And it's going
427
00:20:58.140 --> 00:20:59.430
to be fun. Boom. I, like, want to try it.
428
00:21:00.680 --> 00:21:04.660
Before we move on from butt stuff, there is a trend.
429
00:21:05.230 --> 00:21:08.650
I don't know if the male population is like fucking starving,
430
00:21:08.930 --> 00:21:11.910
but the amount of guys talking about eating ass, I'm like,
431
00:21:12.650 --> 00:21:15.339
what is going on? It is like they're famished and
432
00:21:15.380 --> 00:21:17.759
they need ass and they need it now. What is
433
00:21:17.799 --> 00:21:20.880
going on? Like hunger pains. Let me see your asshole.
434
00:21:21.000 --> 00:21:24.099
I don't know. I remember I was hooking up. It
435
00:21:24.119 --> 00:21:25.589
was the first time I actually ever hooked up with
436
00:21:25.609 --> 00:21:29.450
this guy and he went down. And I thought he
437
00:21:29.470 --> 00:21:30.490
was just going to be eating me out and he
438
00:21:30.509 --> 00:21:32.289
was eating me out. And then he straight up like
439
00:21:32.430 --> 00:21:34.490
scooped my body up a little bit more so he
440
00:21:34.529 --> 00:21:36.650
could get to my ass. And he started eating out
441
00:21:36.670 --> 00:21:39.390
my ass. And I was like so taken aback because
442
00:21:39.410 --> 00:21:41.349
I just was not expecting it. I'm like, this is
443
00:21:41.650 --> 00:21:45.400
first hookup. I don't even know this guy. And I
444
00:21:45.500 --> 00:21:48.609
kind of like pulled away. And he grabbed my thigh
445
00:21:48.769 --> 00:21:50.430
so hard. Like I had marks on it the next
446
00:21:50.470 --> 00:21:51.990
day and he just looked up at me and he said,
447
00:21:52.289 --> 00:21:54.069
I want it. And I was just like. That's kind
448
00:21:54.210 --> 00:21:56.509
of really hot. It isn't, but I was kind of scared.
449
00:21:56.529 --> 00:22:00.109
I was like, oh, okay. That's like guys fucking love it. Yeah.
450
00:22:00.150 --> 00:22:02.640
They love eating ass. I don't, I actually dated a
451
00:22:02.660 --> 00:22:05.779
guy and it was, he. It was his favorite thing.
452
00:22:05.799 --> 00:22:07.700
It was his cup of tea in the morning. Okay.
453
00:22:07.740 --> 00:22:11.920
But guys, I think some guys like to have their ass.
454
00:22:12.359 --> 00:22:12.500
Ooh.
455
00:22:12.819 --> 00:22:14.259
Let me tell you a little story.
456
00:22:14.700 --> 00:22:14.880
Eight.
457
00:22:14.900 --> 00:22:21.119
Eight. Eight. Yeah. Little lickety-splickety up in that asshole. I agree.
458
00:22:21.529 --> 00:22:23.690
And this is another thing that pisses me the fuck
459
00:22:23.750 --> 00:22:25.750
off because some of my guy friends, I'll ask them,
460
00:22:25.769 --> 00:22:27.710
I'll be like, do you like getting your ass eaten?
461
00:22:27.750 --> 00:22:31.069
And they're like, what the fuck? No. I'm like, this
462
00:22:31.450 --> 00:22:34.990
does not make you fucking gay. Right. Shut up. If
463
00:22:35.089 --> 00:22:38.769
it feels good, daddy gang. If something feels good to you,
464
00:22:38.789 --> 00:22:40.289
you do it. You do it. You do it. I
465
00:22:40.329 --> 00:22:43.250
don't give a fuck. That just means you are a freak. Yes.
466
00:22:43.269 --> 00:22:46.410
And there's nothing to aspire to be a freak. That's
467
00:22:46.470 --> 00:22:49.750
better than being a freak. So with regard to eating
468
00:22:49.769 --> 00:22:52.059
a guy's ass, I guess we can kind of circle
469
00:22:52.099 --> 00:22:54.180
back around on this because it can be incorporated into
470
00:22:54.200 --> 00:23:00.720
a blowjob. So ladies, listen. It takes a certain mentality
471
00:23:00.740 --> 00:23:04.059
and it takes a certain girl. There are some girls
472
00:23:04.119 --> 00:23:05.819
I know that are like, I would never do that.
473
00:23:05.980 --> 00:23:08.940
And that's totally fine. But I'm just presenting it to
474
00:23:08.960 --> 00:23:11.579
you if you want it. So I remember I was
475
00:23:11.599 --> 00:23:14.029
hooking up in college with this guy. He was older. And.
476
00:23:15.789 --> 00:23:17.569
You know, I thought I was going to lose him.
477
00:23:18.109 --> 00:23:20.049
I thought I was going to lose him. And I
478
00:23:20.109 --> 00:23:23.609
needed to come up with some... I needed to throw
479
00:23:23.670 --> 00:23:26.009
a Hail Mary in there. You licked his butthole to
480
00:23:26.049 --> 00:23:28.130
try and salvage the relationship. Well, let me tell you,
481
00:23:28.150 --> 00:23:31.730
it fucking worked. You fell in love. Guys, don't fucking
482
00:23:31.769 --> 00:23:35.329
listen to Alex. Don't try and save your relationship with, like,
483
00:23:35.349 --> 00:23:38.269
some sex shit. Dude, no, this worked. So, all right. So,
484
00:23:38.529 --> 00:23:42.609
I had given him the great blowjobs that I give.
485
00:23:43.150 --> 00:23:45.210
And so... I knew at this point, like we were
486
00:23:45.230 --> 00:23:46.730
kind of, there was just something going on. So I
487
00:23:46.730 --> 00:23:49.019
was like, you know what? This night I'm really going
488
00:23:49.039 --> 00:23:51.660
to try to step it up. So I'm giving him head.
489
00:23:52.299 --> 00:23:54.380
He's loving it, but I'm like, Ooh, you have no
490
00:23:54.480 --> 00:23:58.400
idea what's coming for you. So no idea what's coming
491
00:23:58.420 --> 00:24:01.309
for you. So this is what I did. I'm first
492
00:24:01.329 --> 00:24:04.509
of all, dick in one hand, balls in the other
493
00:24:04.970 --> 00:24:10.289
mouth on the dick, the trifecta. The next thing I
494
00:24:10.349 --> 00:24:12.970
did was I got off. My mouth came off the dick.
495
00:24:13.589 --> 00:24:16.509
And I went down a level. What I did was
496
00:24:16.869 --> 00:24:20.130
I started licking and sucking his balls with my mouth.
497
00:24:20.750 --> 00:24:24.559
And then my hands were now free. Free falling. So
498
00:24:24.819 --> 00:24:30.000
my thumb went onto his taint. And I started kind
499
00:24:30.039 --> 00:24:33.859
of pressure rubbing with my thumb on his taint area.
500
00:24:34.259 --> 00:24:36.609
And I had made sure that my thumb was a
501
00:24:36.630 --> 00:24:38.650
little wet. So it was nice and wet, lubed up.
502
00:24:38.690 --> 00:24:41.269
And I was just kind of rubbing pressure. Then I
503
00:24:41.329 --> 00:24:45.079
got off of the balls. And I went down. And
504
00:24:45.099 --> 00:24:47.900
with my left hand, I was jacking him off. And
505
00:24:47.940 --> 00:24:50.700
I went down and I start slowly licking his taint
506
00:24:51.279 --> 00:24:53.480
while I'm also kind of rubbing it still. Okay. And
507
00:24:53.559 --> 00:24:58.400
slowly but surely, Alex is making her way down south towards.
508
00:24:58.519 --> 00:25:01.680
To the bum hole. To the bum skis. Okay. And
509
00:25:01.920 --> 00:25:03.680
when I tell you, because you had told me, you know,
510
00:25:03.700 --> 00:25:08.650
you've maybe like, you flirted. You've licked a guy's asshole before, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well,
511
00:25:08.759 --> 00:25:11.579
I fucking went and ate ass, okay? Like, I wasn't
512
00:25:11.640 --> 00:25:16.500
really anticipating it. Dude, dude, dude, you need to be
513
00:25:16.599 --> 00:25:20.519
careful down there. That, you just, like, said it to
514
00:25:20.539 --> 00:25:21.920
me and it, like, brought it to my attention. Like,
515
00:25:21.980 --> 00:25:24.390
that is pink eye in the making. Like, You better
516
00:25:24.690 --> 00:25:28.529
throw some sunglasses on. Goggles. Goggles. What would a guy
517
00:25:28.549 --> 00:25:31.259
do if you literally just whipped out goggles? You're like,
518
00:25:31.390 --> 00:25:33.920
I'm going in. And you just start eating ass. I
519
00:25:33.940 --> 00:25:35.759
would low-key love that. I'm going to do that next time.
520
00:25:35.859 --> 00:25:37.900
So anyway, so yeah, girls, make sure you wear sunglasses
521
00:25:37.940 --> 00:25:40.740
when you're eating ass. It's a moral story. Dude, people
522
00:25:40.759 --> 00:25:42.119
are going to start doing that. Throw your hair in
523
00:25:42.140 --> 00:25:45.190
a ponytail. Throw some sunglasses on. Like, let's go. Go
524
00:25:45.210 --> 00:25:48.529
to town on that ass. I am jacking him off
525
00:25:48.549 --> 00:25:50.700
with my left hand. which I don't know why I
526
00:25:51.039 --> 00:25:53.039
just realized I do use my left hand, even though
527
00:25:53.059 --> 00:25:55.880
I'm a righty anyways, side note. So I'm going down
528
00:25:55.900 --> 00:25:59.150
and I start licking his ass. And what happened to
529
00:25:59.190 --> 00:26:01.549
me was I wasn't anticipating to fully be like going
530
00:26:01.589 --> 00:26:05.769
to town on it, but his fucking reaction when I
531
00:26:05.809 --> 00:26:08.769
started using my tongue and doing like, kind of like,
532
00:26:08.869 --> 00:26:11.660
it was like suction cup, tongue swirls in and out.
533
00:26:11.680 --> 00:26:13.640
Like it was a lot. And my face was just
534
00:26:13.940 --> 00:26:16.869
plummeted down there. Like, I was kind of low-key getting suffocated.
535
00:26:16.890 --> 00:26:19.210
So you're jacking him off while you're just, like, focused
536
00:26:19.250 --> 00:26:21.430
on the ass. Yes. Like, I was basically eating out
537
00:26:21.470 --> 00:26:24.339
his asshole and I couldn't really breathe. I was low-key
538
00:26:24.380 --> 00:26:26.940
suffocating because he was on his back and my head
539
00:26:26.960 --> 00:26:31.230
was just down under. But he came... From me jacking
540
00:26:31.269 --> 00:26:33.130
him off and eating out his ass. And it was
541
00:26:33.170 --> 00:26:35.509
like the first. And then I tried to quickly like
542
00:26:35.549 --> 00:26:37.309
come up and swallow it and like catch it in
543
00:26:37.349 --> 00:26:40.650
the air. And whoa, acrobatics up in this bitch. But
544
00:26:40.690 --> 00:26:43.809
he did not. Like a dolphin. Like it kind of
545
00:26:43.829 --> 00:26:46.660
started coming on his thigh. When they throw the fish
546
00:26:46.700 --> 00:26:49.519
to the dolphins. And I quickly leave back. No, I
547
00:26:49.559 --> 00:26:51.380
just tried to. Some got on his thigh and then
548
00:26:51.420 --> 00:26:55.640
I quickly got the rest. I get that because I think.
549
00:26:56.160 --> 00:27:00.589
The bigger the freak, the sloppier you're being in any capacity.
550
00:27:01.009 --> 00:27:03.549
Guys fucking... He said after, he was like, I have
551
00:27:03.930 --> 00:27:06.170
never experienced something like that. I think, like, if a
552
00:27:06.230 --> 00:27:09.329
guy does want a girl to do this, he can
553
00:27:09.369 --> 00:27:13.759
kind of initiate it by kind of thrusting his hips upwards,
554
00:27:13.799 --> 00:27:15.890
like in an upward motion, like lifting his butt up.
555
00:27:15.980 --> 00:27:17.380
I think that's huge to tell guys. So she, like,
556
00:27:17.400 --> 00:27:19.619
kind of, she gets... you know, she gets the hint
557
00:27:19.640 --> 00:27:21.819
that he wants her to like go down there. Guys,
558
00:27:21.859 --> 00:27:24.339
I think Sophia just made a brilliant point. Any guy
559
00:27:24.380 --> 00:27:27.339
that's listening, I know. Any guy that's listening, I think
560
00:27:27.359 --> 00:27:29.220
that's a great move. You literally just kind of thrust
561
00:27:29.240 --> 00:27:31.160
your hips up just a tiny bit. Yeah. And then
562
00:27:31.200 --> 00:27:33.119
she'll go to town. Put your ass in her face.
563
00:27:33.180 --> 00:27:35.950
And if she doesn't, then she's not a daddy. Then
564
00:27:35.970 --> 00:27:37.970
she's not a dad. No. Girls, if you don't want
565
00:27:37.990 --> 00:27:39.190
to get assed, don't eat ass. But what I'm telling
566
00:27:39.210 --> 00:27:40.950
you is you need to eat ass. So go fucking
567
00:27:40.990 --> 00:27:46.150
eat ass this weekend. Okay. Guys. The dating apps. Has
568
00:27:46.190 --> 00:27:48.690
been such a fucking success. I know. I wish we
569
00:27:48.710 --> 00:27:50.539
could just have a separate segment where we just start
570
00:27:50.579 --> 00:27:52.900
reading testimonials. I know, because it's so insane. Like, you
571
00:27:53.079 --> 00:27:55.240
putting Call Her Daddy in your bio or Daddy Gang.
572
00:27:55.359 --> 00:27:57.519
If this is, again, your first episode you've listened to,
573
00:27:57.859 --> 00:28:00.440
you should be listening from episode one on. But we
574
00:28:00.460 --> 00:28:03.970
told basically Daddy Gang. Every fucking guy and every girl
575
00:28:04.069 --> 00:28:07.230
is like, how the goddamn F do I slide into
576
00:28:07.269 --> 00:28:09.130
a girl's or a guy's DM? You should have Call
577
00:28:09.150 --> 00:28:11.799
Her Daddy in your bio. People are straight up having sex.
578
00:28:12.279 --> 00:28:15.579
People are getting into relationships. People are getting married. People
579
00:28:15.599 --> 00:28:18.880
are just getting married. I had a guy and he
580
00:28:18.920 --> 00:28:20.059
messaged me and he was like, hey, I just wanted
581
00:28:20.099 --> 00:28:22.369
to thank you guys so much because I put Call
582
00:28:22.390 --> 00:28:25.230
Her Daddy in my Hinge bio. And I literally have
583
00:28:25.269 --> 00:28:26.930
fucked two girls this week that were part of the
584
00:28:26.970 --> 00:28:31.519
daddy gang. It's so crazy. Like how many people are like,
585
00:28:31.759 --> 00:28:35.500
it's insane. With that said. Yes. We still are humans
586
00:28:35.599 --> 00:28:39.160
and we're not all simulations acting online. So we do
587
00:28:39.200 --> 00:28:41.980
go to bars and we do go out. I'm still
588
00:28:42.000 --> 00:28:44.440
a huge fan of meeting organically. I am too. Even
589
00:28:44.460 --> 00:28:46.700
though I'm on Dania. I like it the most, I think.
590
00:28:46.759 --> 00:28:52.509
So I was out the other weekend with Sophia. And
591
00:28:52.670 --> 00:28:54.950
this has kind of become like my go-to thing. And
592
00:28:55.230 --> 00:28:57.109
Sophia was like, you have to just tell the daddy
593
00:28:57.130 --> 00:28:59.990
gang because this shit works. So this is, I think,
594
00:29:00.049 --> 00:29:04.380
would be mostly for girls. The napkin... With your number
595
00:29:04.480 --> 00:29:06.609
on it. Yeah. And let me just tell you guys
596
00:29:06.640 --> 00:29:08.170
quickly how I do this because I just wanted to
597
00:29:08.210 --> 00:29:09.730
share it with you guys if you're struggling. Because I
598
00:29:09.750 --> 00:29:11.250
know a lot of girls are like, fuck, how do
599
00:29:11.269 --> 00:29:14.670
I just go up to a guy? It avoids conversation.
600
00:29:14.829 --> 00:29:18.029
It doesn't make you confrontational. And you just leave and
601
00:29:18.049 --> 00:29:20.089
it's on him. So basically what I do. And no
602
00:29:20.150 --> 00:29:22.380
one feels pressure. Exactly. At all. And that's the most
603
00:29:22.420 --> 00:29:24.480
important thing. Because at a bar when someone's lingering and
604
00:29:24.500 --> 00:29:25.799
you're like, I don't want to talk to you right now.
605
00:29:25.920 --> 00:29:26.140
Yeah.
606
00:29:26.519 --> 00:29:29.960
I put my name and my number on a napkin.
607
00:29:29.960 --> 00:29:33.289
And I go up to the guy. And I'll walk
608
00:29:33.289 --> 00:29:35.930
up to him and I will I will literally take
609
00:29:35.970 --> 00:29:37.670
his hand. Yeah. And I'll look at me and I'll
610
00:29:37.710 --> 00:29:39.990
put the napkin in his hand and I'll look it up,
611
00:29:40.220 --> 00:29:42.680
look up at him and I'll say, I think you're
612
00:29:42.900 --> 00:29:45.779
so hot. You can do with this as you please.
613
00:29:45.799 --> 00:29:48.279
Mm hmm. And walk away. Oh, my God. Telling a
614
00:29:48.319 --> 00:29:51.349
guy he's hot. I know. They love it. They die.
615
00:29:51.650 --> 00:29:53.670
So the fact that you give him the napkin with
616
00:29:53.690 --> 00:29:54.970
your number and then on top of that, you're like,
617
00:29:54.990 --> 00:29:57.190
you're so hot. Guys love that shit. I'm like, you're
618
00:29:57.250 --> 00:29:59.630
so hot. Love it. Do with this as you please.
619
00:29:59.690 --> 00:30:01.950
And then you walk away. I do think it's genius
620
00:30:02.029 --> 00:30:05.789
because like girls, he then has to just make the move,
621
00:30:06.009 --> 00:30:08.140
but you already sort of made the move for him.
622
00:30:08.160 --> 00:30:10.200
So he knows you're going to be open to talking
623
00:30:10.220 --> 00:30:12.599
to him. Yeah. Boom. I love it.
624
00:30:13.039 --> 00:30:13.319
Boom.
625
00:30:13.640 --> 00:30:21.480
Boom. Boom. Okay. I... And forcing Alex to say this story.
626
00:30:21.500 --> 00:30:24.720
I don't want to. And she was so pissed. And
627
00:30:24.759 --> 00:30:27.559
she's like, I cannot do this. It's so embarrassing. And
628
00:30:27.599 --> 00:30:31.410
I'm like, we've all done it, Alex. Girls go number two.
629
00:30:32.180 --> 00:30:35.250
And you just, we need to talk about it. Guys,
630
00:30:35.349 --> 00:30:37.150
Daddy Gang, this is how much we love you. We
631
00:30:37.190 --> 00:30:39.329
couldn't fucking have Tana here. So we're about to hit
632
00:30:39.349 --> 00:30:42.220
you with a story that is. Even better than having
633
00:30:42.259 --> 00:30:43.839
her on. Jesus Christ. Okay.
634
00:30:44.039 --> 00:30:44.220
Yeah.
635
00:30:44.240 --> 00:30:46.740
Let me just tell us. All right. It's a poop story.
636
00:30:46.779 --> 00:30:50.079
Here we go. Everyone buckle up. So I was in college.
637
00:30:50.220 --> 00:30:52.819
I was dating this guy and I was hanging out
638
00:30:53.019 --> 00:30:55.680
at this, at his apartment with all of his friends.
639
00:30:56.309 --> 00:30:59.109
And there was one bathroom and the one bathroom was
640
00:30:59.210 --> 00:31:01.529
in the living room where everyone was hanging out. That
641
00:31:01.589 --> 00:31:04.910
in itself is an issue. An issue. Terrifying. So I
642
00:31:05.569 --> 00:31:07.329
am sitting there and all of a sudden, all of
643
00:31:07.349 --> 00:31:11.980
a sudden, A wave of an explosion hits me. Okay.
644
00:31:12.019 --> 00:31:15.140
Let's just put it that way. And I am like,
645
00:31:15.160 --> 00:31:19.529
oh my shit. And you know how you kind of
646
00:31:19.549 --> 00:31:22.150
just are hoping like, ooh, this too shall pass. Like
647
00:31:22.549 --> 00:31:25.690
this one may actually just breeze past me if I
648
00:31:25.730 --> 00:31:29.569
just sit and clench and sweat it out. You feel
649
00:31:29.650 --> 00:31:31.769
a bowel movement and you're like, I'm going to sit
650
00:31:31.809 --> 00:31:34.829
this one out, honey. I will meet you later. Yes. Like,
651
00:31:34.849 --> 00:31:37.509
you will not be coming out of me anytime soon. Okay,
652
00:31:37.529 --> 00:31:39.269
so you're sitting there sweating and clenching. So I'm sitting
653
00:31:39.289 --> 00:31:41.890
there sweating and clenching. And then within about, I think
654
00:31:41.910 --> 00:31:44.460
it was 15 minutes, like, this one was a rocket.
655
00:31:44.880 --> 00:31:47.200
This was an explosion of a rocket. Like, this was
656
00:31:47.259 --> 00:31:49.180
not going to be cute. And I was like, you
657
00:31:49.220 --> 00:31:52.440
know what? This is not going to be able to
658
00:31:52.480 --> 00:31:55.559
wait until later. Right. So what I did is I
659
00:31:55.680 --> 00:31:59.539
did what I do best. I texted the guy. Let's
660
00:31:59.559 --> 00:32:03.759
call him Josh. I texted Josh. And I... proceeded to
661
00:32:03.799 --> 00:32:07.519
begin to fake a fight. Alex Cooper, you are a
662
00:32:07.799 --> 00:32:10.920
fucking psycho. You gotta poop fake a fight. Like what?
663
00:32:10.940 --> 00:32:14.960
This is the story. I can't. So I text him.
664
00:32:15.019 --> 00:32:17.440
He was sitting across the room and I was like,
665
00:32:17.799 --> 00:32:21.279
bring me home now. And he was like, he texted me.
666
00:32:21.400 --> 00:32:23.380
He looked up. He's like, what's wrong? Anyways, we go
667
00:32:23.420 --> 00:32:25.799
back and forth a little bit. Finally, I stand up
668
00:32:25.859 --> 00:32:28.019
and I say, meet me outside. He comes and he
669
00:32:28.039 --> 00:32:30.470
meets me outside. I'm standing next to his car. At
670
00:32:30.509 --> 00:32:33.470
this point, I am shivering, like shivering from the chills
671
00:32:33.509 --> 00:32:36.230
of having to shit. Like this is not going down well.
672
00:32:36.529 --> 00:32:38.230
So he comes out and he's like, babe, what the
673
00:32:38.289 --> 00:32:41.430
fuck is going on? And I say, get in the car.
674
00:32:41.609 --> 00:32:43.990
I'm like, get in the car, open the door. So
675
00:32:44.109 --> 00:32:46.349
I get in the car. I'm sitting there. He starts driving.
676
00:32:46.529 --> 00:32:48.769
He's freaking out because as far as he's concerned, we
677
00:32:48.789 --> 00:32:51.339
had a great day together. He's driving down the freeway.
678
00:32:51.690 --> 00:32:54.920
I'm like, get me fucking home right now. He finally,
679
00:32:55.000 --> 00:32:57.220
I get it. He's like, what is going on? He
680
00:32:57.240 --> 00:33:01.799
needs an explanation. I start, you did this. I saw
681
00:33:01.839 --> 00:33:03.660
you looking at the girl at the mall today on
682
00:33:03.779 --> 00:33:07.569
April 25th. You were, like what, I made up everything.
683
00:33:07.589 --> 00:33:11.190
The level of psycho, I am living for it. But
684
00:33:11.210 --> 00:33:12.690
you know what I mean? You just start, I just
685
00:33:12.710 --> 00:33:14.930
had to make shit up. I'm like, and I know
686
00:33:15.049 --> 00:33:19.319
this about you. You're like, literally? literally you don't even
687
00:33:19.420 --> 00:33:23.779
know what I'm talking about how okay okay real cute
688
00:33:23.799 --> 00:33:26.670
he's like I really don't know he's like what the
689
00:33:26.789 --> 00:33:28.890
fuck are you talking about and I so at this
690
00:33:28.990 --> 00:33:31.650
point I'm like a part could leak out of me
691
00:33:31.829 --> 00:33:35.920
I'm that close I roll down the fucking window I
692
00:33:36.000 --> 00:33:37.900
roll down the window and stick out my head knowing
693
00:33:37.940 --> 00:33:40.559
goddamn well something could begin to smell. Because you're, like,
694
00:33:40.660 --> 00:33:42.700
sweating and you need to make sure that your head
695
00:33:42.789 --> 00:33:45.410
is in the game. Dude, you look like... You know
696
00:33:45.509 --> 00:33:48.890
how every... Your head is in the game. The girls, they, like,
697
00:33:48.970 --> 00:33:51.029
look out the window and they're, like, in a pissed
698
00:33:51.089 --> 00:33:54.009
off fight. They'll just... You put your head out the window.
699
00:33:54.470 --> 00:33:56.569
I took it to another level. And you know, when
700
00:33:56.589 --> 00:33:58.759
you're trying to concentrate, you're like, don't make me laugh.
701
00:33:58.779 --> 00:34:00.359
When you're with your friends, like, and you can say
702
00:34:00.380 --> 00:34:01.900
you have to shit. You're like, do not make me laugh.
703
00:34:01.920 --> 00:34:03.880
Like I need to concentrate. Like you just said, head
704
00:34:03.920 --> 00:34:05.819
was in the game. My head was out the window.
705
00:34:06.059 --> 00:34:08.199
I'm focusing. He's like, I don't understand what's going on. Whatever.
706
00:34:08.219 --> 00:34:12.239
You're like, don't you dare. Like nothing even, don't even
707
00:34:12.460 --> 00:34:15.119
look at me. And he's like, I'm officially dating a psychopath.
708
00:34:15.380 --> 00:34:18.019
So I'm making up this fight. Finally, we are getting
709
00:34:18.079 --> 00:34:19.880
to the house. I am on the road to my house.
710
00:34:20.380 --> 00:34:22.340
And you know when you know you're getting closer, you
711
00:34:22.780 --> 00:34:25.389
just start to like unclench a little. So I'm sitting
712
00:34:25.409 --> 00:34:27.489
in the car. I'm like, hurry the fuck up. And
713
00:34:27.530 --> 00:34:28.889
he's like, I don't even know what to do at
714
00:34:28.909 --> 00:34:30.710
this point. I feel so bad for this. This poor kid.
715
00:34:31.050 --> 00:34:33.900
I'm sitting down and he finally parks the car. Mm-hmm.
716
00:34:34.590 --> 00:34:37.909
I realized at that very moment, like, there's no fucking
717
00:34:37.969 --> 00:34:41.329
way that I'm going to be able to walk normally
718
00:34:41.389 --> 00:34:43.769
at this point. Right. Hold on. Just really quickly. Was
719
00:34:43.789 --> 00:34:46.309
he like, just tell me what I did? He's like, Alex,
720
00:34:47.070 --> 00:34:48.949
you can't get out of the car until you just
721
00:34:48.989 --> 00:34:51.900
tell me. And you were like, I am getting out
722
00:34:51.920 --> 00:34:54.980
of this car and you'll never see me again. Okay, okay. Meanwhile,
723
00:34:55.019 --> 00:34:56.179
I know once I shit, I'll be like, hey, babe,
724
00:34:56.199 --> 00:34:58.159
what's up? Want to come back over? So I get
725
00:34:58.219 --> 00:35:00.840
out of the car. I realize I can't walk straight.
726
00:35:01.099 --> 00:35:05.280
So I tell him... you need to leave. And he's
727
00:35:05.300 --> 00:35:06.699
looking at me like a psycho. I'm standing in the
728
00:35:06.719 --> 00:35:07.869
middle of the road. He's like, let me just make
729
00:35:07.889 --> 00:35:10.429
sure you get in. Okay. I said, leave. So he
730
00:35:10.510 --> 00:35:14.190
finally drives away. I look at the house and me
731
00:35:14.630 --> 00:35:17.480
and it's like, we're five miles apart. And I realized,
732
00:35:17.869 --> 00:35:19.659
All I have to do is make it to the toilet.
733
00:35:19.719 --> 00:35:21.780
That's all I have to do. So I'm walking kind
734
00:35:21.820 --> 00:35:25.139
of fast, slow. You know how you do. You're like waddling. Waddle.
735
00:35:25.199 --> 00:35:28.400
I waddle up to the house. And finally, it's like victory.
736
00:35:28.719 --> 00:35:31.360
I'm walking towards the bathroom. Couldn't have a better feeling.
737
00:35:31.610 --> 00:35:34.530
You literally are basically shitting on your pants already. You're like,
738
00:35:34.570 --> 00:35:38.630
that toilet is mine for the next hour. My fucking throne.
739
00:35:39.010 --> 00:35:42.070
So I go to the bathroom. Walk towards it. The
740
00:35:42.090 --> 00:35:44.619
door is locked. No. All of a sudden, I hear...
741
00:35:44.909 --> 00:35:50.769
moaning oh fuck jordan oh my god my fucking roommate
742
00:35:51.489 --> 00:35:55.250
is fucking her boyfriend in the fucking shower at this
743
00:35:55.329 --> 00:35:57.829
point shit is coming out of my asshole at that
744
00:35:57.849 --> 00:35:59.590
point i would have broke down i would have been
745
00:35:59.610 --> 00:36:01.659
like get the fuck out mind you i was a
746
00:36:01.760 --> 00:36:03.800
freshman at this point and she was a senior and
747
00:36:03.820 --> 00:36:05.880
she was fucking her boyfriend and i was just like
748
00:36:06.039 --> 00:36:08.440
my god like what am i supposed to do what
749
00:36:08.460 --> 00:36:10.019
am i gonna do shit in front of the senior
750
00:36:10.039 --> 00:36:12.340
guy that i thought was so hot so you shit
751
00:36:12.360 --> 00:36:16.659
your pants no this is what I did Sophia I
752
00:36:16.940 --> 00:36:19.619
get back into the game and I waddle my way
753
00:36:19.780 --> 00:36:23.530
out the front door around the house into the backyard
754
00:36:23.550 --> 00:36:26.289
I literally rush to the back of the house I
755
00:36:26.329 --> 00:36:28.530
get up against the fence that separates our house and
756
00:36:28.570 --> 00:36:32.449
another house and I literally pull my pants down and
757
00:36:32.610 --> 00:36:37.000
I shit I shit up against this fence like just
758
00:36:37.320 --> 00:36:41.019
lava like lava spewing out of me up against the
759
00:36:41.039 --> 00:36:45.449
fence it doesn't end there Um, what? I am squatting
760
00:36:45.570 --> 00:36:49.119
in my backyard, literally shitting, lava spewing out of my asshole,
761
00:36:49.360 --> 00:36:53.769
and all of a sudden... A bright fucking light shines
762
00:36:53.789 --> 00:36:57.050
on my ass from behind. I turn around and my
763
00:36:57.170 --> 00:36:59.650
neighbors are coming out of the back of their fucking house.
764
00:36:59.690 --> 00:37:02.659
And you know how garages have the automatic light? The
765
00:37:02.760 --> 00:37:05.380
automatic light goes on. Oh my gosh. So you're like
766
00:37:05.619 --> 00:37:10.280
on a spotlight. I am literally spewing soup and they
767
00:37:10.380 --> 00:37:14.829
see me and me. I literally, I'm not kidding you,
768
00:37:14.869 --> 00:37:19.320
like fucking humpty dumpty. I just topple over onto my
769
00:37:19.500 --> 00:37:23.579
side and I am laying there with my pants on
770
00:37:23.880 --> 00:37:30.550
my ankle. Oh my God. Oh my God. I proceeded
771
00:37:30.610 --> 00:37:37.119
to wipe with a leaf. I hate my life. I can't.
772
00:37:37.699 --> 00:37:41.219
There are so many layers to this story. Like, I can't.
773
00:37:41.539 --> 00:37:46.000
The fake fight that you did with your boyfriend is unbelievable.
774
00:37:46.440 --> 00:37:50.320
It's unparalleled to anything I've ever heard. No guy in
775
00:37:50.340 --> 00:37:53.780
their right mind would do something like that. Ever. I've
776
00:37:54.199 --> 00:37:57.250
faked a fight for, like, various reasons. But not to shit.
777
00:37:57.730 --> 00:37:59.690
Maybe I have. I don't know. I would love to
778
00:37:59.730 --> 00:38:01.690
hear because, I mean, you know what I've done is
779
00:38:01.730 --> 00:38:05.260
the whole, like, You know what? I need some fresh air.
780
00:38:05.300 --> 00:38:07.079
I'm going to go for a walk. I've totally done that.
781
00:38:07.320 --> 00:38:08.860
And then you're gone for like an hour. Yeah, my
782
00:38:09.199 --> 00:38:12.420
life fucking sucks. That's fucking insane. I know. And then
783
00:38:12.460 --> 00:38:14.000
like two seconds later, I've done that. And I'm like,
784
00:38:14.019 --> 00:38:15.760
you know what, babe? I don't even know what that
785
00:38:15.780 --> 00:38:18.300
was about. Like, babe. It's fine. Were you like, babe,
786
00:38:18.320 --> 00:38:19.679
come pick me up? I was like, babe, want to
787
00:38:19.699 --> 00:38:21.960
hang out again? What the fuck is wrong with this bitch?
788
00:38:22.059 --> 00:38:25.869
That is so amazing. Guys. Girls go number two, all right?
789
00:38:25.969 --> 00:38:26.230
Guys.
790
00:38:26.289 --> 00:38:29.010
I totally get that. Don't judge me. It's just, no.
791
00:38:29.110 --> 00:38:31.929
I can't believe I'm on a podcast. I told that story. Honestly,
792
00:38:32.269 --> 00:38:34.719
you know what? God bless. There's some fucked up stories
793
00:38:34.780 --> 00:38:36.760
of mine that are about to leak pretty soon. I know.
794
00:38:36.820 --> 00:38:39.199
And I have some other worse stories, but there you go.
795
00:38:39.360 --> 00:38:41.900
So make fun of me. I love it. Thank you
796
00:38:42.000 --> 00:38:48.010
all for sharing. Questions. Questions of the week. Wee wee.
797
00:38:49.599 --> 00:38:51.239
If anyone hates that, please write it and tell us
798
00:38:51.260 --> 00:38:52.489
to shut the fuck up. I just fucking love it,
799
00:38:52.500 --> 00:38:53.219
but I'll stop.
800
00:38:53.239 --> 00:38:53.480
Okay.
801
00:38:53.659 --> 00:38:55.889
This is actually a statement that I just want to
802
00:38:55.929 --> 00:38:58.329
read because it made me laugh, which is probably fucked
803
00:38:58.369 --> 00:39:01.070
up that I laughed at. You guys have a terrifying
804
00:39:01.190 --> 00:39:04.460
lack of morals. If guys said any of the shit
805
00:39:04.579 --> 00:39:09.460
you say, they'd be fired for sexual harassment in an instant. Mm-hmm.
806
00:39:09.639 --> 00:39:12.539
fuck off bitch that's a compliment if i've ever heard
807
00:39:12.619 --> 00:39:15.969
one i'm so sick of that shit like women have
808
00:39:16.010 --> 00:39:20.210
been repressed and oppressed for fucking years shut up shut
809
00:39:20.250 --> 00:39:22.590
the fuck up you have a terrifying lack of morals
810
00:39:22.710 --> 00:39:25.489
i know um okay so first question i have is
811
00:39:26.489 --> 00:39:29.610
oh my god this is a fucking savage and i
812
00:39:29.650 --> 00:39:32.320
want every girl to do this. Okay. I went on
813
00:39:32.360 --> 00:39:37.469
my boyfriend's Dropbox on his phone and bitch, his ass
814
00:39:37.570 --> 00:39:41.969
got busted nudes to the sky of all of these hoes.
815
00:39:42.389 --> 00:39:45.090
And you know what I did? I didn't even confront him.
816
00:39:45.550 --> 00:39:48.250
I deleted that shit for him and I'm waiting for
817
00:39:48.289 --> 00:39:50.989
him to ask me if I deleted his Dropbox like
818
00:39:51.130 --> 00:39:54.349
I want him to tell on himself by asking me.
819
00:39:55.280 --> 00:40:00.349
Holy shit. Holy shit. The Dropbox, the delete. This is
820
00:40:00.469 --> 00:40:04.449
the fact that she didn't even hesitate and she deleted
821
00:40:04.469 --> 00:40:08.639
all of his nudes is so savage. I'm wet. This
822
00:40:08.739 --> 00:40:11.599
is literally, I could not be more proud in this
823
00:40:11.619 --> 00:40:13.920
very moment. Oh my God. First of all, to think
824
00:40:14.280 --> 00:40:17.519
of going to the Dropbox app. I want, I'm literally
825
00:40:17.539 --> 00:40:19.119
going to look out for that one. Me too. Girls,
826
00:40:19.360 --> 00:40:22.530
check the Dropbox app. Secondly, the fact that this girl
827
00:40:22.929 --> 00:40:25.909
had enough control to be like, you know what? What's better?
828
00:40:26.409 --> 00:40:29.929
to confront him or to do it and make him
829
00:40:29.989 --> 00:40:33.449
wonder right make him ask he's having a fucking panic
830
00:40:33.469 --> 00:40:36.530
attack right now he is like where are my news
831
00:40:36.570 --> 00:40:39.840
he cannot ask dude that's literally probably like how milf
832
00:40:39.860 --> 00:40:41.920
hunter always talks about how there's a vault the guys
833
00:40:41.940 --> 00:40:43.940
have always have a vault where all the nudes are
834
00:40:44.179 --> 00:40:47.300
that's probably his fucking vault and it's gone oh that
835
00:40:47.360 --> 00:40:51.269
is so amazing and i want to Goodbye to you.
836
00:40:51.369 --> 00:40:53.090
I want to be your girl. What is that in
837
00:40:53.130 --> 00:41:00.510
Avril Lavigne's song? Goodbye to every nude that you have. So, wow, girlfriend.
838
00:41:00.550 --> 00:41:04.519
Fuck your boyfriend. That's amazing. Wow, amazing. All right, my question.
839
00:41:04.940 --> 00:41:07.659
My boyfriend who has been broken up with his ex-girlfriend
840
00:41:07.679 --> 00:41:11.119
for about three months accidentally called me by her name.
841
00:41:11.500 --> 00:41:13.800
What does this mean and what should I do? This
842
00:41:13.820 --> 00:41:15.489
is a classic mistake. I think this is very common.
843
00:41:15.530 --> 00:41:18.400
Very common. Very common. I mean, I've done it. I've
844
00:41:18.440 --> 00:41:20.320
done it. I've been in the middle of having sex
845
00:41:20.400 --> 00:41:22.840
and called the guy by a different guy's name. Yeah.
846
00:41:23.059 --> 00:41:26.239
It is a complete accident. Don't look into it. Don't
847
00:41:26.280 --> 00:41:28.019
try and make it into a fight because, like, it's
848
00:41:28.059 --> 00:41:31.070
just a little slip. I agree. I think people, listen,
849
00:41:31.320 --> 00:41:33.590
I know that can be, like, rattle you if you're
850
00:41:33.610 --> 00:41:34.989
on the other end of it. You're like, hold on, wait,
851
00:41:35.050 --> 00:41:37.530
what the fuck did you just say? But seriously, I
852
00:41:37.590 --> 00:41:39.849
really do think it's just, like, a mishap. I do, too.
853
00:41:39.929 --> 00:41:42.909
I mean, come on, you've spent years calling someone's name. Yeah. Like,
854
00:41:43.030 --> 00:41:45.190
it's my accident. It's word vomit. I think you should
855
00:41:45.210 --> 00:41:47.309
be more scared if they're saying a name that you've
856
00:41:47.349 --> 00:41:50.809
never heard of. That's true. You're like, whoa. You're like, oh. Like,
857
00:41:50.869 --> 00:41:53.250
if it's an ex-girlfriend, that's only a good sign. That's
858
00:41:53.269 --> 00:41:54.880
actually true. If it's like Stephanie and they've never had
859
00:41:54.909 --> 00:41:57.059
a Stephanie in their life. You're like, what the fuck? Yeah.
860
00:41:57.360 --> 00:42:01.420
Good one, Sophia. I like that. Okay. This fucking story
861
00:42:02.059 --> 00:42:04.780
scared me. Okay. Like, it gave me the creepy crawlies
862
00:42:04.860 --> 00:42:07.400
and I need everyone to hear. Oh, that's saying a lot. Okay. Yeah,
863
00:42:07.440 --> 00:42:09.920
I know. Here we go. Hey, daddy. So a guy
864
00:42:09.940 --> 00:42:11.579
from my school has been wanting me to come over
865
00:42:11.659 --> 00:42:14.360
to his house for a while now. And give him
866
00:42:14.389 --> 00:42:17.639
that sloppy toppy. Of course, I was going to hit
867
00:42:17.699 --> 00:42:19.659
him with a gluck gluck until he texted me and said,
868
00:42:20.019 --> 00:42:22.659
when you come over, would you mind doing this one
869
00:42:22.719 --> 00:42:25.400
thing for me? Of course, me being a dumb bitch,
870
00:42:25.539 --> 00:42:29.300
I was like, I'll do anything. And then he goes
871
00:42:29.360 --> 00:42:32.400
and tells me that after I suck his dick and
872
00:42:32.440 --> 00:42:35.139
he comes in my mouth, He wants me to hold
873
00:42:35.179 --> 00:42:38.639
it in my mouth while he gets an empty water
874
00:42:38.679 --> 00:42:41.840
bottle for me to spit it into so he can
875
00:42:41.940 --> 00:42:44.059
label it with my name and put it on a
876
00:42:44.119 --> 00:42:46.820
shelf in his closet with all of the other water
877
00:42:46.840 --> 00:42:52.590
bottles filled with saliva and cum from past blowjobs. At
878
00:42:52.670 --> 00:42:54.829
first I thought this was insane and was totally against it,
879
00:42:54.829 --> 00:42:56.489
but now I almost want to do it just for
880
00:42:56.510 --> 00:42:59.909
the experience. Should I go over there? Blah, blah, blah.
881
00:43:01.119 --> 00:43:04.869
This guy. I wish we could show my face right now.
882
00:43:05.869 --> 00:43:13.679
This guy is collecting his own cum from blowjobs he's received.
883
00:43:14.719 --> 00:43:17.960
From girls. So he just has all these water bottles
884
00:43:18.039 --> 00:43:20.760
with a bunch of girls' names with their spit and
885
00:43:20.860 --> 00:43:22.510
his cum in his closet.
886
00:43:22.530 --> 00:43:22.599
Wow.
887
00:43:23.469 --> 00:43:26.710
That is... That is some serial killer shit. That is
888
00:43:26.789 --> 00:43:30.130
like he is going to end up in prison for
889
00:43:30.190 --> 00:43:34.050
some crazy shit in a few years. What? Is that
890
00:43:34.090 --> 00:43:37.170
not like the most disgusting and creepiest thing you've ever heard?
891
00:43:38.170 --> 00:43:42.630
I'm like sitting here visualizing a closet with a shit ton...
892
00:43:42.590 --> 00:43:44.519
I'm literally drinking a Poland Spring bottle right now.
893
00:43:44.530 --> 00:43:44.659
I know.
894
00:43:44.679 --> 00:43:47.360
And I'm looking at him like... Imagine at the bottom
895
00:43:47.380 --> 00:43:49.280
just a bunch of cum. Like how many are there?
896
00:43:49.880 --> 00:43:51.880
I don't know. It's like dead bodies. But it's... What
897
00:43:51.900 --> 00:43:55.760
the fuck? Right? Dude, and that girl literally said that she's... Dude,
898
00:43:55.800 --> 00:43:58.019
and then she's like, should I go do it for
899
00:43:58.039 --> 00:44:00.159
the experience? And I'm like, you won't be coming out
900
00:44:00.179 --> 00:44:03.510
of that house alive. No fucking way. No. That is some... Girls,
901
00:44:03.760 --> 00:44:07.730
we love if you're a crazy freak daddy, but that... No,
902
00:44:07.769 --> 00:44:10.349
that's like your safety... Dude, that may be one of
903
00:44:10.369 --> 00:44:15.030
the craziest, like, creepy stories we've ever been... Yeah. Imagine
904
00:44:15.110 --> 00:44:18.039
opening a fucking closet and seeing that. What is that
905
00:44:18.059 --> 00:44:20.539
guy doing with it? It's disgusting. It's like one thing
906
00:44:20.579 --> 00:44:23.159
like guys always could have like a notebook filled with
907
00:44:23.179 --> 00:44:25.900
all the girls they fucked. That's his way of keeping track?
908
00:44:26.099 --> 00:44:28.219
I need to see what this guy looks like and
909
00:44:28.239 --> 00:44:30.639
what he's up to. Daddy, if this was your story,
910
00:44:30.659 --> 00:44:33.000
please send us who this guy is. Yeah, send us
911
00:44:33.039 --> 00:44:35.619
his Instagram because I want to do some fucking rabbit
912
00:44:35.679 --> 00:44:39.449
hole stuff. Me too. Woo! Oh, that made me feel weird.
913
00:44:39.510 --> 00:44:43.949
I know. All right. All right. This question is short
914
00:44:44.110 --> 00:44:47.869
and sweet. What should I say if I come too quick?
915
00:44:48.829 --> 00:44:52.010
First of all, I want you to address it because
916
00:44:52.030 --> 00:44:54.750
I think it's more weird if we just pretend like
917
00:44:54.789 --> 00:44:56.750
it didn't happen. Yeah. I don't like when guys come
918
00:44:56.789 --> 00:44:59.389
and then they just like roll over. Yeah. I'm like,
919
00:44:59.710 --> 00:45:02.530
I want to punch him. It's awkward. It's so I
920
00:45:02.570 --> 00:45:04.699
think you can just address it and just say, fuck,
921
00:45:04.780 --> 00:45:08.119
like it's been a while or like, fuck, that was
922
00:45:08.159 --> 00:45:10.980
just like so hot. Yeah. And then and then I
923
00:45:11.000 --> 00:45:12.280
don't know how many times I just say it. You're
924
00:45:12.300 --> 00:45:15.969
going to follow up by saying it. don't move. I'm
925
00:45:16.010 --> 00:45:17.630
going to, I'm going to go down on you until
926
00:45:17.670 --> 00:45:20.730
you come. Right. You are just, as long as you
927
00:45:20.909 --> 00:45:23.590
are willing to tell her that now you're going to
928
00:45:23.630 --> 00:45:25.679
make her come and make sure that you both are
929
00:45:25.699 --> 00:45:29.320
getting yours, it's fine. Act like you fucking care. Right.
930
00:45:29.480 --> 00:45:31.400
And be like, let me go down on you or,
931
00:45:31.800 --> 00:45:33.380
you know, if you don't want to because you're a
932
00:45:33.400 --> 00:45:36.159
little bitch boy, then I guess you can say like,
933
00:45:36.539 --> 00:45:38.159
Just give me a minute and, like, we're going to
934
00:45:38.199 --> 00:45:40.539
go round two. We've had guys write in and be like,
935
00:45:40.980 --> 00:45:42.639
I feel like I came way too fast. Like, now
936
00:45:42.679 --> 00:45:43.929
I don't know if she's going to hook up with
937
00:45:43.949 --> 00:45:46.449
me again. This can prevent you from leaving and going
938
00:45:46.469 --> 00:45:47.809
home and be like, wait, did I just fuck that up?
939
00:45:48.090 --> 00:45:51.150
Say it in the moment. Yep. I think now it's time.
940
00:45:51.690 --> 00:45:57.239
Let's talk about Tana. Okay. Let's, guys. The team. I
941
00:45:57.260 --> 00:45:59.360
don't even know where to begin. I think we begin
942
00:45:59.420 --> 00:46:04.699
with prefacing this with Tana's team. reached out to Barstool
943
00:46:04.909 --> 00:46:07.429
and said that they wanted to see if we would
944
00:46:07.570 --> 00:46:11.030
have her on our podcast. Yes. So right then and there,
945
00:46:11.250 --> 00:46:15.230
you understand that we did not go asking this girl,
946
00:46:15.329 --> 00:46:17.329
begging her to come on our show. I want to
947
00:46:17.369 --> 00:46:22.239
reiterate that too. Alex and I wanted Tana. Of course.
948
00:46:22.300 --> 00:46:25.340
She was our dream guest, but we genuinely thought, like,
949
00:46:25.360 --> 00:46:26.929
you know what? Like, I don't know if we're ready
950
00:46:26.969 --> 00:46:28.829
for that. Like, our podcast is still kind of getting
951
00:46:28.849 --> 00:46:31.429
off the ground. We never reached out. We never reached out.
952
00:46:31.730 --> 00:46:34.449
Her team went out of her way to say, Tana
953
00:46:34.949 --> 00:46:37.539
would love to go on Call Her Daddy. Can you
954
00:46:37.559 --> 00:46:40.480
guys please have her? So, with that being said, we...
955
00:46:41.760 --> 00:46:45.239
scheduled that this Wednesday would be for Tana. We're like,
956
00:46:45.260 --> 00:46:46.760
you know what? Yes, she can come on our show.
957
00:46:46.780 --> 00:46:48.519
We would love to have her. She seems like a daddy.
958
00:46:48.940 --> 00:46:52.199
So that initially is what we planned. Yeah. So let's
959
00:46:52.219 --> 00:46:58.039
start from the very beginning. Okay. We confirmed this with Tana. Yes.
960
00:46:58.260 --> 00:47:03.010
Like last month. And Alex and I are beyond excited. Yes. Beyond.
961
00:47:03.280 --> 00:47:07.150
The amount of preparation that we put in to this
962
00:47:07.210 --> 00:47:08.829
interview that we were going to do with her was
963
00:47:09.139 --> 00:47:12.920
was insane. Guys, we knew, like, listen, we know Sophia
964
00:47:12.940 --> 00:47:14.900
and I, we're comfortable with you guys. It's us and
965
00:47:14.920 --> 00:47:17.500
the Daddy Gang. We are trying very hard to make
966
00:47:17.559 --> 00:47:20.079
sure that if we have guests on, that you guys
967
00:47:20.099 --> 00:47:21.599
are going to be interested in what they're saying. Yeah,
968
00:47:21.840 --> 00:47:24.420
the day of the interview. First of all, we went,
969
00:47:24.659 --> 00:47:27.210
we don't fucking do shit for anyone. No. We went
970
00:47:27.230 --> 00:47:29.449
and got Taco Bell for this bitch. We watched her
971
00:47:29.550 --> 00:47:32.369
videos of what she eats, what's her order. Alex and
972
00:47:32.389 --> 00:47:35.690
I spent hours watching her YouTube shit so we could
973
00:47:35.710 --> 00:47:38.809
get an idea of what this girl likes. Like, Favorite candy,
974
00:47:38.849 --> 00:47:42.750
like drinks, whatever. We had the merch team order her
975
00:47:42.889 --> 00:47:45.570
merch in, like expedite it. Like we had this girl
976
00:47:45.769 --> 00:47:47.840
hooked up. We get here the day the interview was
977
00:47:47.860 --> 00:47:50.900
scheduled for 12. So finally 12 o'clock comes around and
978
00:47:50.960 --> 00:47:54.260
we were notified that Tana would be texting us when
979
00:47:54.280 --> 00:47:56.960
she was five minutes out, her PR team. Yeah. So...
980
00:47:57.360 --> 00:47:59.400
We don't get a text. And they keep saying, she'll
981
00:47:59.440 --> 00:48:00.800
be here any minute. She'll be here any minute. And
982
00:48:00.820 --> 00:48:02.550
we're like, okay. And so we've got our camera crew
983
00:48:02.610 --> 00:48:04.230
is all set up so that when she gets here,
984
00:48:04.269 --> 00:48:06.650
we can be filming it, et cetera. The production team,
985
00:48:06.710 --> 00:48:09.429
the camera crew. Like, there were teams of people. PR team.
986
00:48:09.670 --> 00:48:14.400
The guest coordinators here. Service people were cleaning the bathroom.
987
00:48:14.500 --> 00:48:17.340
Everyone was ready to go. So Alex and I are
988
00:48:17.400 --> 00:48:18.019
standing around.
989
00:48:18.039 --> 00:48:18.179
It's 1230.
990
00:48:18.159 --> 00:48:25.219
It's 1245. One o'clock. Yeah. You know, like, she must
991
00:48:25.239 --> 00:48:27.820
just be running late. Like, we get it. Like, do
992
00:48:27.900 --> 00:48:31.449
you guys know where she could be? So, finally, our
993
00:48:31.530 --> 00:48:34.389
team reaches out to her team yet again, and her
994
00:48:34.489 --> 00:48:39.409
PR person, and I quote, says, Hi, guys. I think
995
00:48:39.530 --> 00:48:42.550
Tana went on a bender last night. We can't get
996
00:48:42.570 --> 00:48:46.940
a hold of her or find her. Guys, her own...
997
00:48:47.840 --> 00:48:50.699
PR person. Literally outed her and said she went on
998
00:48:50.760 --> 00:48:53.130
a bender. Outed her and could not get a hold
999
00:48:53.170 --> 00:48:57.429
of her or her assistant. Okay. So at this moment
1000
00:48:57.489 --> 00:49:00.590
in time, Tana has something scheduled for an hour ago. Yeah.
1001
00:49:00.929 --> 00:49:02.590
And neither her or her assistant are like. They can't
1002
00:49:02.630 --> 00:49:05.210
even find her. They can't even find them. We check
1003
00:49:05.309 --> 00:49:07.610
out her story on Instagram.
1004
00:49:07.630 --> 00:49:07.730
Yeah.
1005
00:49:08.190 --> 00:49:11.809
And all the people she was with. And these people
1006
00:49:11.929 --> 00:49:16.320
are on a fucking bender. Bender. Binger. Raging. It was
1007
00:49:16.360 --> 00:49:18.570
like five hours ago she was seen at a club.
1008
00:49:18.670 --> 00:49:21.170
Which was like. She's like. like half naked, which is
1009
00:49:21.230 --> 00:49:23.929
totally fine. I totally support that. But she's half naked,
1010
00:49:23.989 --> 00:49:27.849
like looks trash, like laying. Like, I mean, it was
1011
00:49:27.889 --> 00:49:30.650
just so obvious that like they had been partying. Yeah,
1012
00:49:30.730 --> 00:49:32.780
it was obvious she died the night before. And so
1013
00:49:33.079 --> 00:49:35.519
we knew we knew she was fucked up. So finally,
1014
00:49:35.599 --> 00:49:37.820
two o'clock comes around and we're like this. She's not coming.
1015
00:49:38.119 --> 00:49:41.110
And they still can't even find her. Finally, they call
1016
00:49:41.230 --> 00:49:44.510
us and they tell us that they found her. Thank God.
1017
00:49:44.829 --> 00:49:48.010
They found her and they were going in and shaking
1018
00:49:48.050 --> 00:49:49.809
her and going to try to wake her up. Try
1019
00:49:49.849 --> 00:49:53.840
to wake her up. Try to wake her up. Like what?
1020
00:49:54.260 --> 00:49:54.510
Yeah.
1021
00:49:54.659 --> 00:49:57.059
Like what is she dead? They were sitting there saying,
1022
00:49:57.440 --> 00:49:59.739
you know what? Like how long can you guys be there?
1023
00:49:59.760 --> 00:50:02.400
We'll get her up. Like she'll get there. I mean,
1024
00:50:02.719 --> 00:50:06.099
Alex and I are sitting here waiting and waiting and
1025
00:50:06.139 --> 00:50:10.420
like hoping and like, Yeah. It was kind of shitty
1026
00:50:10.440 --> 00:50:14.389
guys too because I have been watching YouTube my fucking
1027
00:50:14.429 --> 00:50:17.010
entire life and I have been the biggest fan of Tana's.
1028
00:50:17.530 --> 00:50:19.889
You've heard people say like, I don't want to meet
1029
00:50:20.320 --> 00:50:22.610
the people I idolize. I don't want to meet the
1030
00:50:22.650 --> 00:50:26.050
celebrities I love because you run the risk of being
1031
00:50:26.090 --> 00:50:28.800
let down. For sure. And like the veil is gone
1032
00:50:28.820 --> 00:50:31.320
and like, you know, sometimes you'll be disappointed. For sure.
1033
00:50:31.530 --> 00:50:34.360
So finally, guys, it got to the point where we,
1034
00:50:34.599 --> 00:50:36.900
Sophia and I were freaking out because usually we record
1035
00:50:36.960 --> 00:50:39.739
episodes on Mondays so that audio levels and everything can
1036
00:50:39.760 --> 00:50:42.659
be fixed by Tuesdays and released on Wednesday. Sophia and
1037
00:50:42.679 --> 00:50:43.619
I didn't have an episode.
1038
00:50:43.639 --> 00:50:43.710
No.
1039
00:50:44.190 --> 00:50:46.269
So we were fucked guys. Like we're recording this on
1040
00:50:46.289 --> 00:50:48.780
Tuesday right now, hoping it gets out on Wednesday and
1041
00:50:49.300 --> 00:50:52.260
we're going to make it happen. But we finally were like,
1042
00:50:52.539 --> 00:50:57.440
let's go write an episode. Then they tell us, you know,
1043
00:50:57.559 --> 00:50:59.900
she might be able to come actually. How long can
1044
00:50:59.920 --> 00:51:01.969
you be at the office? And it was this back
1045
00:51:02.010 --> 00:51:04.170
and forth. Maybe she can do a phone interview. Maybe
1046
00:51:04.230 --> 00:51:07.409
she could make, she never showed up. Finally, she has
1047
00:51:07.550 --> 00:51:10.050
an audacity to go to Twitter and say she is
1048
00:51:10.150 --> 00:51:14.219
strep throat. I mean, guys, I have been deathly hungover
1049
00:51:14.280 --> 00:51:18.030
before where I'm throwing up, dry heaving, etc. Fucking... Got
1050
00:51:18.070 --> 00:51:20.130
my ass to work. I got my ass to work.
1051
00:51:20.289 --> 00:51:25.429
And we have not heard from her. No apology. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.
1052
00:51:25.570 --> 00:51:28.389
Not one thing. We waited. We had till 7. We waited.
1053
00:51:28.409 --> 00:51:31.989
Kept rebooking studio time. People at our office couldn't record
1054
00:51:32.030 --> 00:51:35.449
because we were holding it for her. And then... We
1055
00:51:35.469 --> 00:51:39.099
went to Reddit afterwards and we realized we saw so
1056
00:51:39.199 --> 00:51:41.480
many people have issues with her. Dude. And I was like,
1057
00:51:41.539 --> 00:51:43.699
kind of like what? And then I started looking into
1058
00:51:43.719 --> 00:51:45.619
it and I guess like she's just known in the
1059
00:51:45.679 --> 00:51:49.070
YouTube community for like pulling this shit. Yeah. So I do,
1060
00:51:49.210 --> 00:51:52.150
you know, she's 20. She's making a shit ton of money.
1061
00:51:52.170 --> 00:51:54.989
A lot of money. And you know, when I was 20,
1062
00:51:54.989 --> 00:51:56.829
like I was out of control, but it's still really
1063
00:51:56.869 --> 00:52:00.300
fucking sucks. And all I have to say is, if
1064
00:52:00.380 --> 00:52:03.349
you're not reliable and you know that you're not reliable,
1065
00:52:03.429 --> 00:52:05.210
don't go out of your way to try and schedule
1066
00:52:05.230 --> 00:52:07.710
things with people. Cause it really fucks up their day.
1067
00:52:07.809 --> 00:52:10.369
It's super disappointed. And also I'm pissed off. Cause you
1068
00:52:10.389 --> 00:52:12.989
know what? Every week we try to put out fucking
1069
00:52:13.010 --> 00:52:17.159
content for the daddy gang. That is high end, good shit, entertaining.
1070
00:52:17.360 --> 00:52:20.420
And she, our episode, who knows? I was, you know,
1071
00:52:20.500 --> 00:52:22.579
it could have been better or this or that, but
1072
00:52:22.880 --> 00:52:25.820
I was really, really excited to meet her. Like that's
1073
00:52:25.889 --> 00:52:29.019
the other thing. Me too. We were both like, You know.
1074
00:52:29.079 --> 00:52:30.179
I'm pissed. We were going to try to get a
1075
00:52:30.199 --> 00:52:33.519
kissing picture with her. We were like, let's break the internet.
1076
00:52:33.739 --> 00:52:36.940
Three-way kiss. So, guys, I'm sorry if you were excited
1077
00:52:36.960 --> 00:52:39.480
about Tara. But, you know what? We are going to
1078
00:52:39.519 --> 00:52:42.179
have guests. Oh, yeah. But we are just holding out
1079
00:52:42.219 --> 00:52:44.460
for someone that's fucking worth it. Yeah, fuck that. We
1080
00:52:44.480 --> 00:52:46.480
don't want to just bring on, like, you know. Yeah,
1081
00:52:46.500 --> 00:52:48.139
I feel like we're in this little exclusive thing. We've
1082
00:52:48.159 --> 00:52:49.719
got the daddy gang. We've got you and me. And
1083
00:52:49.739 --> 00:52:51.440
I think until we find someone that's- Alex, as long
1084
00:52:51.480 --> 00:52:54.480
as I have you, babe, we're good. We're good. We're golden.
1085
00:52:54.500 --> 00:52:56.659
We're Gucci, babe. And we got the daddy gang. And
1086
00:52:56.719 --> 00:53:00.760
we're going to still have fun. All right, guys, that's
1087
00:53:00.820 --> 00:53:03.320
it for this week. Again, we are so sorry that
1088
00:53:03.340 --> 00:53:05.940
we didn't have a guest. But I hope Alex's poop
1089
00:53:05.960 --> 00:53:08.239
story made up for it. I hope you guys are
1090
00:53:08.260 --> 00:53:10.179
going to buy strap-ons and you're going to fuck your
1091
00:53:10.219 --> 00:53:12.349
boyfriend this weekend. Yeah, call her daddy style. I hope
1092
00:53:12.369 --> 00:53:14.510
you're about to eat ass when you give head. Call
1093
00:53:14.530 --> 00:53:17.210
her daddy style. I hope you're shoving a finger up there.
1094
00:53:17.570 --> 00:53:22.030
Call her daddy style. Yes, so every single Wednesday, you guys,
1095
00:53:22.110 --> 00:53:23.550
we love you so much. We love you so much.
1096
00:53:23.590 --> 00:53:27.139
Thank you for listening. Yes, we love you. Love you, daddy. Bye.
1097
00:53:37.010 --> 00:53:40.190
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1098
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1099
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