00:00:00
Speaker 1: G'day Bushy here and today Australia is in the global news because of this.
00:00:05
Speaker 2: Well a river that is home to about 500 crocs has been chosen to host Olympic and Paralympic rowing and canoeing events at the 2032 Brisbane Games.
00:00:15
Speaker 1: That's right we're hosting the 2032 Olympic rowing in croc country and we think it's great however the rest of the world seems to be freaking out and I can understand your concerns however as the unofficial Olympic ambassador I'm here to tell you why it's great. Firstly, just think of all the world records we'll get, because it's one thing to row for gold, but it's a whole other thing to row for your life. And the prospect of becoming Snappy's lunch, well, it's a great motivator. Ow, he bit me on the clacker. Now, I will admit I know very little about rowing. However, it usually means you've been to private school. But I have observed that there's usually one guy who does a lot less than the rest of the team. I think they're called the cox head. So in my opinion, the cox head will now be a very valued player in the boat because they'll be responsible for keeping everyone in the boat alive. They'll be the cox head. However, them counting one, two, three, four, it won't be strokes. It'll be them counting submerging crocs. Imagine the ratings. It'll be like a gladiator sport back to the good old days where people's lives were actually at risk. Kill or be killed.
00:01:21
Speaker 2: Great.
00:01:22
Speaker 1: However, again, don't worry because crocs will only eat you if they get hold of you. So yeah, row faster. But don't worry. For all the nervous nitties, I've got a contingency plan. We'll just have Robert Irwin on standby put everyone at ease. So then if a croc does come up, he can just jump out and wrestle it. For actually, nowadays he'll probably turn it more into a Paso Doble. But yeah, we might have to bring in Dave. In all seriousness, I'm sure if a croc does try and eat someone in a boat, I'm sure we'll shoot it. We could always call in that Turkish guy, you know, from the Olympics. And then we could turn it into another water Olympic sport like this. Or we could turn it into really good handbags and that'll start the new sprint race of all the housewives. But to all the foreigners planning on making a holiday out of a trip to wonderful Rockhampton and the croc rowing, well, just make sure when you duck off to go for a little swim, you don't get confused by our signage because the signs say, crocs do not swim here, which sounds like crocs do not swim here, but it means crocs do not swim here. Anyway, I just love how scared everyone are of crocodiles and they don't even know about drop bears yet.
Speaker 1: G'day Bushy here and today Australia is in the global news because of this.
00:00:05
Speaker 2: Well a river that is home to about 500 crocs has been chosen to host Olympic and Paralympic rowing and canoeing events at the 2032 Brisbane Games.
00:00:15
Speaker 1: That's right we're hosting the 2032 Olympic rowing in croc country and we think it's great however the rest of the world seems to be freaking out and I can understand your concerns however as the unofficial Olympic ambassador I'm here to tell you why it's great. Firstly, just think of all the world records we'll get, because it's one thing to row for gold, but it's a whole other thing to row for your life. And the prospect of becoming Snappy's lunch, well, it's a great motivator. Ow, he bit me on the clacker. Now, I will admit I know very little about rowing. However, it usually means you've been to private school. But I have observed that there's usually one guy who does a lot less than the rest of the team. I think they're called the cox head. So in my opinion, the cox head will now be a very valued player in the boat because they'll be responsible for keeping everyone in the boat alive. They'll be the cox head. However, them counting one, two, three, four, it won't be strokes. It'll be them counting submerging crocs. Imagine the ratings. It'll be like a gladiator sport back to the good old days where people's lives were actually at risk. Kill or be killed.
00:01:21
Speaker 2: Great.
00:01:22
Speaker 1: However, again, don't worry because crocs will only eat you if they get hold of you. So yeah, row faster. But don't worry. For all the nervous nitties, I've got a contingency plan. We'll just have Robert Irwin on standby put everyone at ease. So then if a croc does come up, he can just jump out and wrestle it. For actually, nowadays he'll probably turn it more into a Paso Doble. But yeah, we might have to bring in Dave. In all seriousness, I'm sure if a croc does try and eat someone in a boat, I'm sure we'll shoot it. We could always call in that Turkish guy, you know, from the Olympics. And then we could turn it into another water Olympic sport like this. Or we could turn it into really good handbags and that'll start the new sprint race of all the housewives. But to all the foreigners planning on making a holiday out of a trip to wonderful Rockhampton and the croc rowing, well, just make sure when you duck off to go for a little swim, you don't get confused by our signage because the signs say, crocs do not swim here, which sounds like crocs do not swim here, but it means crocs do not swim here. Anyway, I just love how scared everyone are of crocodiles and they don't even know about drop bears yet.
