WEBVTT
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On June 11th, 2019, I was at an event that was with all of my friends and we were getting ready to go to, it was kind of like a barn dance.
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I was just 16 and I walked into the dance and I remember the very last thing I remember, I was looking for a drink, a song came on and all of my friends were like, let's go, let's go talk, let's go mingle.
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That was my last memory.
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on the outside of every like the big dance crowd.
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I had hurt my knee and so I was kind of standing off a little bit but I still was talking to people and everyone says that this guy came out of nowhere and just got completely thrown on me.
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He was crowd surfing and then everything else that I'm going to say is I've read my mom kept a really detailed Facebook page for me and I've reread and reread all of that.
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They said that I ended up completely going on the ground and they could tell that there was something wrong with me.
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One of my friends said that you just kind of looked completely out of it.
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They took me to the side, they went and found some of the adults to come and kind of check me out.
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And then I guess I started having a seizure.
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An ambulance came and I went to the hospital and I think I had another seizure.
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And somehow I ended up leaving the hospital on crutches.
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I'm not really sure how that happened.
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And then my mom, we went back to the hotel and we got all of my stuff and then we were heading home.
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And then I guess I started having a seizure in the back of the car on my way to home.
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And then I had another one.
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And so then I went to the emergency department and I had a few more that night.
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And that's when they're like, man, she.
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there's something wrong with her.
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And then when I finally came to, I think my mom said it was a few days later, I was completely out of it.
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And I thought I should still be at the dance.
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Like, why am I not at the dance?
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Where am I?
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What happened?
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And then I guess it just couldn't, throughout the day, it just wait, what happened?
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I was constantly asking, wait, what happened?
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Wait, what happened?
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And it didn't end.
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It just continued to go.
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And then that's when all the doctors and everyone was like, it's okay.
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It's a concussion.
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This is normal post-concussion syndrome.
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It will go away.
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They just told my mom, go home and try to get to a bigger city.
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And they recommended Iowa.
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They initially said, I've never seen this, but it was a pretty bad concussion.
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They were saying like it was close to like a TBI.
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And so they're like, these symptoms are severe, but with...
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her accident, kind of makes sense.
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And so at the beginning, where my family was like, okay, that's fair.
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And they sent me home for a month.
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And I just never got better.
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At the very beginning, my mom and dad sat down with my school district and they kind of created a plan.
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They froze my GPA, so I was going to class, but I was just going through the motions.
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I appreciate that my school continued to let me go and show up and kind of wander around to give me some normalcy.
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They created a concussion protocol where they would like split up my test into they would teach me something or I would look over notes and then I would go and answer a question.
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It kind of got a little weird when it started snowing because I still thought it was summer and I going to school every day was also kind of challenging because I thought it was the beginning of summer but during like the main time frame I was going to all different types of hospitals.
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They kept telling my mom, give it a week.
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she just has a concussion, it's okay.
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give it two more weeks, maybe six weeks.
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And my family just kept going back and back and back and they're like, she's wandering around.
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She has no idea where she's at.
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There's something wrong.
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Eventually, one of the hospitals told my family, If she hits the six month mark and she's still like this, she's never coming out of it.
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You should look into putting her into like a home.
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And that's kind of where my mom went, oh no, this is not happening.
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And that's when she started reaching out to all these hospitals.
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From June 2019 to about December 2019, there's not a single personal memory of mine that I created.
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My mom likes to describe it as like Swiss cheese.
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She's like, there's a lot of holes, but there is stuff there.
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I have stories and I have pictures and I can put the stories to the pictures, but I was never in that moment.
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It is such a weird sensation.
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I just can't even explain how weird it is besides, it's like watching a movie about your life.
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from someone else.
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I've also explained it to people like it's an autobiography, but someone else wrote it.
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It's like your life told from someone else's point of view.
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So my like first memory, I remember being in the Utah hospital.
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That's ultimately where I went for about two weeks.
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The people at Cognitive FX changed my life.
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I would not be here without them.
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They never gave up on me.
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Dr.
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Fong, she's the reason why I'm here.
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She's the reason why I'm going to be able to continue living on my life.
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I'm so thankful that I finally found someone that listens to me and takes my concerns pretty matter of fact.
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And I think that's also a reason why I've been doing a lot better in school.
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Once I got to college, my freshman year, I was kind of taking more advanced classes in high school, so my beginning of college, I basically had already taken all those classes my freshman and sophomore year of high school where I was completely a-okay.
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I kind of had more less of a photographic memory before my accident and all those classes that I took my freshman and sophomore year of high school, I only got through it because I had just taken those classes in high school in my mind.
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And then the same thing for the second semester.
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Once I got to sophomore year, that's when I realized I was having so many problems in school because everything was new.
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I was still struggling so much.
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That was a challenge in itself.
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Learning how to re-study at the very beginning of nursing school failed my very first nursing test and they told me You're just not cut out for this.
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need to, you need to change.
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And I was like, nope, nope, I'm not doing that.
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I'm going to find a way to prove you wrong.
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I am going to get this nursing degree.
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I've never wanted anything more in my life.
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I had to change my ways of studying.
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I had to change my ways of how I did school.
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I needed this certain grade on my final and I really didn't think that I was going to get it.
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So I basically taught myself an entire semester's worth of nursing content in two classes, along with my other classes in like about two weeks.
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That's when I knew I was like, I'm remembering this and I can do this.
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I was bawling my eyes out once I got that grade back.
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I hadn't ordered my white coat.
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I hadn't done anything because everyone's telling me I can't do this.
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There was 40 minutes left of the window period to order my white coat.
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and I got my grade back and I called my mom and like every one, we were all crying and I ordered it and I just like, I still get chills because it was just like a moment where I proved to myself, like I just hadn't ever proved to myself that I could do it.
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I think I kind of gave up on myself there for a little bit just because everything I felt was against me, but I got through it and I got into the Sigma Theta Tau Nursing Honor Society.
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And I knew about that way, way back before I even started nursing school.
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When I got the email, I remember the exact day I was going home for like winter break or something.
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And I knew the email was supposed to be sent out.
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I would check my email every single day.
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And I finally got that email.
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I think it was like 430 in the morning.
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And I started bawling.
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I was so, so excited.
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That was something that I've always worked towards.
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And it was just like, okay, you did that.
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You can do anything.
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I wanted to be inducted so, so bad.
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And then once it finally came, my whole family came and I was so excited.
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I was nervous.
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I just had all these little butterflies in my stomach.
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I was so excited.
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It's like what I envision me walking across the stage for graduation.
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It was like my pre-graduation.
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It was kind of a milestone in my life.
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was like, oh, you made it.
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You can do this.
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You have one year left.
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That's nothing.
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You got inducted.
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That's a hard thing.
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So that was just, I was like, okay, you're not behind.
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You're right where you're supposed to be.
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Your hard work is finally starting to pay off.
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And it was a huge milestone that I met.
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And I'm just very proud of it.
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If I didn't come back, I would have been a 16 year old girl for the rest of my life.
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You never know what could be your last memory.
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What do you want to make sure, like, what do you want to be remembered for?
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And so I just, in my life, I just kind of step back.
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I'm like, okay, what is important to me?
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And what do I want to do with that?
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And so that's kind of also pushed me into really wanting to pursue nursing in like the medical field and I just kind of I know what it's been like on the patient side I was the patient for so long.
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I draw my strength from my mom I also wouldn't be here without her she fought for me like from day one she just had this motherly instinct that something was really wrong and she never gave up.
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I'm not just proud of myself for all these accomplishments I am.
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that she's the reason that I got there.
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And so she's always just been my number one supporter.
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She's always been there and she always will be there.
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I'm not just graduating for myself, I'm graduating for my mom too.
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On June 11th, 2019, I was at an event that was with all of my friends and we were getting ready to go to, it was kind of like a barn dance.
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I was just 16 and I walked into the dance and I remember the very last thing I remember, I was looking for a drink, a song came on and all of my friends were like, let's go, let's go talk, let's go mingle.
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That was my last memory.
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on the outside of every like the big dance crowd.
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I had hurt my knee and so I was kind of standing off a little bit but I still was talking to people and everyone says that this guy came out of nowhere and just got completely thrown on me.
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He was crowd surfing and then everything else that I'm going to say is I've read my mom kept a really detailed Facebook page for me and I've reread and reread all of that.
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They said that I ended up completely going on the ground and they could tell that there was something wrong with me.
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One of my friends said that you just kind of looked completely out of it.
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They took me to the side, they went and found some of the adults to come and kind of check me out.
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And then I guess I started having a seizure.
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An ambulance came and I went to the hospital and I think I had another seizure.
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And somehow I ended up leaving the hospital on crutches.
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I'm not really sure how that happened.
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And then my mom, we went back to the hotel and we got all of my stuff and then we were heading home.
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And then I guess I started having a seizure in the back of the car on my way to home.
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And then I had another one.
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And so then I went to the emergency department and I had a few more that night.
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And that's when they're like, man, she.
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there's something wrong with her.
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And then when I finally came to, I think my mom said it was a few days later, I was completely out of it.
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And I thought I should still be at the dance.
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Like, why am I not at the dance?
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Where am I?
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What happened?
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And then I guess it just couldn't, throughout the day, it just wait, what happened?
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I was constantly asking, wait, what happened?
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Wait, what happened?
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And it didn't end.
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It just continued to go.
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And then that's when all the doctors and everyone was like, it's okay.
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It's a concussion.
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This is normal post-concussion syndrome.
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It will go away.
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They just told my mom, go home and try to get to a bigger city.
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And they recommended Iowa.
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They initially said, I've never seen this, but it was a pretty bad concussion.
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They were saying like it was close to like a TBI.
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And so they're like, these symptoms are severe, but with...
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her accident, kind of makes sense.
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And so at the beginning, where my family was like, okay, that's fair.
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And they sent me home for a month.
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And I just never got better.
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At the very beginning, my mom and dad sat down with my school district and they kind of created a plan.
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They froze my GPA, so I was going to class, but I was just going through the motions.
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I appreciate that my school continued to let me go and show up and kind of wander around to give me some normalcy.
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They created a concussion protocol where they would like split up my test into they would teach me something or I would look over notes and then I would go and answer a question.
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It kind of got a little weird when it started snowing because I still thought it was summer and I going to school every day was also kind of challenging because I thought it was the beginning of summer but during like the main time frame I was going to all different types of hospitals.
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They kept telling my mom, give it a week.
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she just has a concussion, it's okay.
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give it two more weeks, maybe six weeks.
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And my family just kept going back and back and back and they're like, she's wandering around.
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She has no idea where she's at.
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There's something wrong.
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Eventually, one of the hospitals told my family, If she hits the six month mark and she's still like this, she's never coming out of it.
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You should look into putting her into like a home.
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And that's kind of where my mom went, oh no, this is not happening.
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And that's when she started reaching out to all these hospitals.
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From June 2019 to about December 2019, there's not a single personal memory of mine that I created.
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My mom likes to describe it as like Swiss cheese.
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She's like, there's a lot of holes, but there is stuff there.
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I have stories and I have pictures and I can put the stories to the pictures, but I was never in that moment.
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It is such a weird sensation.
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I just can't even explain how weird it is besides, it's like watching a movie about your life.
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from someone else.
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I've also explained it to people like it's an autobiography, but someone else wrote it.
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It's like your life told from someone else's point of view.
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So my like first memory, I remember being in the Utah hospital.
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That's ultimately where I went for about two weeks.
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The people at Cognitive FX changed my life.
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I would not be here without them.
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They never gave up on me.
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Dr.
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Fong, she's the reason why I'm here.
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She's the reason why I'm going to be able to continue living on my life.
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I'm so thankful that I finally found someone that listens to me and takes my concerns pretty matter of fact.
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And I think that's also a reason why I've been doing a lot better in school.
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Once I got to college, my freshman year, I was kind of taking more advanced classes in high school, so my beginning of college, I basically had already taken all those classes my freshman and sophomore year of high school where I was completely a-okay.
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I kind of had more less of a photographic memory before my accident and all those classes that I took my freshman and sophomore year of high school, I only got through it because I had just taken those classes in high school in my mind.
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And then the same thing for the second semester.
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Once I got to sophomore year, that's when I realized I was having so many problems in school because everything was new.
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I was still struggling so much.
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That was a challenge in itself.
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Learning how to re-study at the very beginning of nursing school failed my very first nursing test and they told me You're just not cut out for this.
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need to, you need to change.
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And I was like, nope, nope, I'm not doing that.
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I'm going to find a way to prove you wrong.
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I am going to get this nursing degree.
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I've never wanted anything more in my life.
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I had to change my ways of studying.
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I had to change my ways of how I did school.
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I needed this certain grade on my final and I really didn't think that I was going to get it.
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So I basically taught myself an entire semester's worth of nursing content in two classes, along with my other classes in like about two weeks.
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That's when I knew I was like, I'm remembering this and I can do this.
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I was bawling my eyes out once I got that grade back.
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I hadn't ordered my white coat.
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I hadn't done anything because everyone's telling me I can't do this.
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There was 40 minutes left of the window period to order my white coat.
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and I got my grade back and I called my mom and like every one, we were all crying and I ordered it and I just like, I still get chills because it was just like a moment where I proved to myself, like I just hadn't ever proved to myself that I could do it.
00:09:14.321 --> 00:09:28.365
I think I kind of gave up on myself there for a little bit just because everything I felt was against me, but I got through it and I got into the Sigma Theta Tau Nursing Honor Society.
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And I knew about that way, way back before I even started nursing school.
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When I got the email, I remember the exact day I was going home for like winter break or something.
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And I knew the email was supposed to be sent out.
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I would check my email every single day.
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And I finally got that email.
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I think it was like 430 in the morning.
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And I started bawling.
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I was so, so excited.
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That was something that I've always worked towards.
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And it was just like, okay, you did that.
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You can do anything.
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I wanted to be inducted so, so bad.
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And then once it finally came, my whole family came and I was so excited.
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I was nervous.
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I just had all these little butterflies in my stomach.
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I was so excited.
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It's like what I envision me walking across the stage for graduation.
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It was like my pre-graduation.
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It was kind of a milestone in my life.
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was like, oh, you made it.
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You can do this.
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You have one year left.
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That's nothing.
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You got inducted.
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That's a hard thing.
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So that was just, I was like, okay, you're not behind.
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You're right where you're supposed to be.
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Your hard work is finally starting to pay off.
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And it was a huge milestone that I met.
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And I'm just very proud of it.
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If I didn't come back, I would have been a 16 year old girl for the rest of my life.
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You never know what could be your last memory.
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What do you want to make sure, like, what do you want to be remembered for?
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And so I just, in my life, I just kind of step back.
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I'm like, okay, what is important to me?
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And what do I want to do with that?
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And so that's kind of also pushed me into really wanting to pursue nursing in like the medical field and I just kind of I know what it's been like on the patient side I was the patient for so long.
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I draw my strength from my mom I also wouldn't be here without her she fought for me like from day one she just had this motherly instinct that something was really wrong and she never gave up.
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I'm not just proud of myself for all these accomplishments I am.
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that she's the reason that I got there.
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And so she's always just been my number one supporter.
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She's always been there and she always will be there.
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I'm not just graduating for myself, I'm graduating for my mom too.
