WEBVTT
00:00:18.480 --> 00:00:19.920
Hello, my dears.
00:00:20.719 --> 00:00:21.920
Yes, you.
00:00:22.719 --> 00:00:23.359
Welcome.
00:00:23.519 --> 00:00:28.079
Let me introduce myself properly, since we'll be spending a good deal of time together.
00:00:28.320 --> 00:00:29.280
My name is Dr.
00:00:29.440 --> 00:00:30.079
Bob.
00:00:30.320 --> 00:00:32.079
I am a Russian turtle.
00:00:32.320 --> 00:00:35.039
A Russian tortoise, if you're being precise.
00:00:35.200 --> 00:00:37.759
And I am always being precise about that.
00:00:38.000 --> 00:00:46.079
I am, as of this recording, approximately thirty years old, which in human years feels like a very long time to keep carrying the same house around.
00:00:46.320 --> 00:00:47.759
But it's a good house.
00:00:48.000 --> 00:00:49.840
I designed it myself.
00:00:50.159 --> 00:00:52.399
Ah, but you don't know my story.
00:00:52.640 --> 00:00:54.079
I should tell you.
00:00:54.320 --> 00:00:56.479
It explains a lot about me.
00:00:56.719 --> 00:01:02.320
When I was young, my first humans looked at me and decided I looked like an Alonzo.
00:01:02.799 --> 00:01:03.920
I didn't argue.
00:01:04.079 --> 00:01:07.760
I was a small turtle, and it seemed unwise to talk back.
00:01:08.000 --> 00:01:09.599
But the name never fit.
00:01:09.760 --> 00:01:12.640
It was too zippy.
00:01:13.040 --> 00:01:16.560
Alonso sounds like someone who does errands on a scooter.
00:01:16.719 --> 00:01:18.560
I do not run errands.
00:01:18.799 --> 00:01:21.599
I contemplate them from a warm rock.
00:01:22.079 --> 00:01:24.400
Then, something changed.
00:01:24.719 --> 00:01:27.680
My humans began to notice things about me.
00:01:27.920 --> 00:01:37.599
My remarkable determination, the way I would, over the course of six and a half hours, drag a single leaf of lettuce exactly where I wanted it.
00:01:37.920 --> 00:01:48.959
My natural curiosity, the endless questions I asked of my food bowl, my zest for living the good life, which is another way of saying I basked.
00:01:49.599 --> 00:01:50.239
A lot.
00:01:50.879 --> 00:01:53.439
And of course, my healing abilities.
00:01:53.760 --> 00:01:58.159
Because I'm extremely good at sitting with you and being calm until you feel better.
00:01:58.400 --> 00:02:00.000
So they renamed me.
00:02:00.319 --> 00:02:00.719
Dr.
00:02:00.959 --> 00:02:01.519
Bob.
00:02:01.920 --> 00:02:03.200
It is a good name.
00:02:03.439 --> 00:02:05.359
It is a name with authority.
00:02:05.760 --> 00:02:09.840
When I introduce myself, people do not expect the turtle to be a doctor.
00:02:10.000 --> 00:02:11.439
They are surprised.
00:02:11.759 --> 00:02:12.400
Good.
00:02:12.879 --> 00:02:14.560
Now, a confession.
00:02:14.800 --> 00:02:16.960
I am by nature a bit cranky.
00:02:17.120 --> 00:02:18.479
I like a routine.
00:02:18.639 --> 00:02:21.680
I like my heat lamp on precisely when I want it.
00:02:21.919 --> 00:02:23.520
I like my privacy.
00:02:23.759 --> 00:02:33.599
But I have also discovered, and this is the secret of my whole life, my dears, that the things worth doing usually require you to step off your basking rock.
00:02:33.919 --> 00:02:37.280
So I am cranky, and I am up for an adventure.
00:02:37.520 --> 00:02:40.560
These are not opposites, they are a balance.
00:02:41.120 --> 00:02:45.919
I live in a residence that my humans call a bookcase-turned habitat.
00:02:46.159 --> 00:02:47.520
I call it home.
00:02:47.759 --> 00:02:49.360
It is a fine place.
00:02:49.919 --> 00:02:54.560
Custom round windows through which I keep a careful eye on the world.
00:02:54.800 --> 00:03:02.479
Custom artwork, which I did not ask for, but which I appreciate because a turtle appreciates thoughtfulness.
00:03:02.800 --> 00:03:04.639
An adventure rock course.
00:03:04.879 --> 00:03:08.319
I have fallen off the top of it seventeen times.
00:03:08.719 --> 00:03:11.680
A privacy nook for important thinking.
00:03:11.919 --> 00:03:18.719
A basking rock, warmed by an infrared lamp, where I take my daily consultation with the sun.
00:03:19.280 --> 00:03:23.680
An antique dining plate, yes, I eat my dinner from an antique.
00:03:24.159 --> 00:03:26.560
The lettuce deserves ceremony.
00:03:26.960 --> 00:03:33.439
And a walking bridge, which I cross with great dignity, and a slight grumble when the lights are dim.
00:03:33.759 --> 00:03:35.199
It is a full life.
00:03:35.439 --> 00:03:38.560
And I have discovered that I have a great deal to say about it.
00:03:38.719 --> 00:03:39.919
So I built this.
00:03:40.080 --> 00:03:42.159
I made a podcast, My Peeps.
00:03:42.639 --> 00:03:55.039
A podcast so that I can speak to you from my bookcase about the big things and the small things, about why we rush, why we rest, why we chase lettuce, and why we should enjoy it when we catch it.
00:03:55.280 --> 00:03:56.560
So pull up a log.
00:03:56.800 --> 00:03:57.919
Rest your shell.
00:03:58.159 --> 00:04:01.039
Every episode we'll sit together and take our time.
00:04:01.199 --> 00:04:01.840
I'm Dr.
00:04:01.919 --> 00:04:02.400
Bob.
00:04:02.560 --> 00:04:04.080
This is Turtle Speed.
00:04:04.240 --> 00:04:07.039
And as I always say, the Doctor is in.
00:04:07.199 --> 00:04:09.520
And the Doctor is in no hurry.
00:00:18.480 --> 00:00:19.920
Hello, my dears.
00:00:20.719 --> 00:00:21.920
Yes, you.
00:00:22.719 --> 00:00:23.359
Welcome.
00:00:23.519 --> 00:00:28.079
Let me introduce myself properly, since we'll be spending a good deal of time together.
00:00:28.320 --> 00:00:29.280
My name is Dr.
00:00:29.440 --> 00:00:30.079
Bob.
00:00:30.320 --> 00:00:32.079
I am a Russian turtle.
00:00:32.320 --> 00:00:35.039
A Russian tortoise, if you're being precise.
00:00:35.200 --> 00:00:37.759
And I am always being precise about that.
00:00:38.000 --> 00:00:46.079
I am, as of this recording, approximately thirty years old, which in human years feels like a very long time to keep carrying the same house around.
00:00:46.320 --> 00:00:47.759
But it's a good house.
00:00:48.000 --> 00:00:49.840
I designed it myself.
00:00:50.159 --> 00:00:52.399
Ah, but you don't know my story.
00:00:52.640 --> 00:00:54.079
I should tell you.
00:00:54.320 --> 00:00:56.479
It explains a lot about me.
00:00:56.719 --> 00:01:02.320
When I was young, my first humans looked at me and decided I looked like an Alonzo.
00:01:02.799 --> 00:01:03.920
I didn't argue.
00:01:04.079 --> 00:01:07.760
I was a small turtle, and it seemed unwise to talk back.
00:01:08.000 --> 00:01:09.599
But the name never fit.
00:01:09.760 --> 00:01:12.640
It was too zippy.
00:01:13.040 --> 00:01:16.560
Alonso sounds like someone who does errands on a scooter.
00:01:16.719 --> 00:01:18.560
I do not run errands.
00:01:18.799 --> 00:01:21.599
I contemplate them from a warm rock.
00:01:22.079 --> 00:01:24.400
Then, something changed.
00:01:24.719 --> 00:01:27.680
My humans began to notice things about me.
00:01:27.920 --> 00:01:37.599
My remarkable determination, the way I would, over the course of six and a half hours, drag a single leaf of lettuce exactly where I wanted it.
00:01:37.920 --> 00:01:48.959
My natural curiosity, the endless questions I asked of my food bowl, my zest for living the good life, which is another way of saying I basked.
00:01:49.599 --> 00:01:50.239
A lot.
00:01:50.879 --> 00:01:53.439
And of course, my healing abilities.
00:01:53.760 --> 00:01:58.159
Because I'm extremely good at sitting with you and being calm until you feel better.
00:01:58.400 --> 00:02:00.000
So they renamed me.
00:02:00.319 --> 00:02:00.719
Dr.
00:02:00.959 --> 00:02:01.519
Bob.
00:02:01.920 --> 00:02:03.200
It is a good name.
00:02:03.439 --> 00:02:05.359
It is a name with authority.
00:02:05.760 --> 00:02:09.840
When I introduce myself, people do not expect the turtle to be a doctor.
00:02:10.000 --> 00:02:11.439
They are surprised.
00:02:11.759 --> 00:02:12.400
Good.
00:02:12.879 --> 00:02:14.560
Now, a confession.
00:02:14.800 --> 00:02:16.960
I am by nature a bit cranky.
00:02:17.120 --> 00:02:18.479
I like a routine.
00:02:18.639 --> 00:02:21.680
I like my heat lamp on precisely when I want it.
00:02:21.919 --> 00:02:23.520
I like my privacy.
00:02:23.759 --> 00:02:33.599
But I have also discovered, and this is the secret of my whole life, my dears, that the things worth doing usually require you to step off your basking rock.
00:02:33.919 --> 00:02:37.280
So I am cranky, and I am up for an adventure.
00:02:37.520 --> 00:02:40.560
These are not opposites, they are a balance.
00:02:41.120 --> 00:02:45.919
I live in a residence that my humans call a bookcase-turned habitat.
00:02:46.159 --> 00:02:47.520
I call it home.
00:02:47.759 --> 00:02:49.360
It is a fine place.
00:02:49.919 --> 00:02:54.560
Custom round windows through which I keep a careful eye on the world.
00:02:54.800 --> 00:03:02.479
Custom artwork, which I did not ask for, but which I appreciate because a turtle appreciates thoughtfulness.
00:03:02.800 --> 00:03:04.639
An adventure rock course.
00:03:04.879 --> 00:03:08.319
I have fallen off the top of it seventeen times.
00:03:08.719 --> 00:03:11.680
A privacy nook for important thinking.
00:03:11.919 --> 00:03:18.719
A basking rock, warmed by an infrared lamp, where I take my daily consultation with the sun.
00:03:19.280 --> 00:03:23.680
An antique dining plate, yes, I eat my dinner from an antique.
00:03:24.159 --> 00:03:26.560
The lettuce deserves ceremony.
00:03:26.960 --> 00:03:33.439
And a walking bridge, which I cross with great dignity, and a slight grumble when the lights are dim.
00:03:33.759 --> 00:03:35.199
It is a full life.
00:03:35.439 --> 00:03:38.560
And I have discovered that I have a great deal to say about it.
00:03:38.719 --> 00:03:39.919
So I built this.
00:03:40.080 --> 00:03:42.159
I made a podcast, My Peeps.
00:03:42.639 --> 00:03:55.039
A podcast so that I can speak to you from my bookcase about the big things and the small things, about why we rush, why we rest, why we chase lettuce, and why we should enjoy it when we catch it.
00:03:55.280 --> 00:03:56.560
So pull up a log.
00:03:56.800 --> 00:03:57.919
Rest your shell.
00:03:58.159 --> 00:04:01.039
Every episode we'll sit together and take our time.
00:04:01.199 --> 00:04:01.840
I'm Dr.
00:04:01.919 --> 00:04:02.400
Bob.
00:04:02.560 --> 00:04:04.080
This is Turtle Speed.
00:04:04.240 --> 00:04:07.039
And as I always say, the Doctor is in.
00:04:07.199 --> 00:04:09.520
And the Doctor is in no hurry.
