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Episode 19
Somatic Healing for Men
On Dissociation, Men’s Groups, and Getting Out of Your Head and Into Your Body
Guest: Duncan Rich — musician, somatic coach and founder of Meld
Episode Description
Duncan Rich grew up in a household where the rules were strict and the emotional space was narrow. He learned early to dissociate — to cut off from what he was feeling because feeling it wasn’t safe. At 18 he was asked to leave the house. What followed was 15 years on the road as a drummer, touring, self-destructive behaviour, living in his head while his body carried everything he wasn’t able to process.
The shift came slowly. He left New York City for the mountains, almost by accident — evicted from his apartment, went for a month, stayed. In the quiet, things started emerging. He found a men’s group, started doing body-based work, and spent a decade showing up every week to practice being present in himself. From that, Meld was born — an organisation building somatic practice and community for men.
In this conversation, Duncan explains what dissociation actually is and where it comes from, how the body stores what the mind can’t process, and why understanding your problem doesn’t always solve it. He talks about the gap between knowing something and feeling it — and why that gap is where the real work lives.
He also talks about men’s groups — why they work, how they’re different from therapy, what it means to sit in a circle with other men and actually practise being present. And about what he’s building with Meld: programmes, retreats, and a book on how to start your own men’s group using somatic practice.
Dom also opens up in this episode about his own experience since the accident last year — a growing intolerance for people who aren’t willing to be genuine, and what Duncan said in response that quietly landed.
Timestamps
00:00 Ask a Man How He’s Feeling and It’s Like, Good
00:47 Note from Dom — Urgent Arm Operation and What It Made Him Think About
01:59 Torque Ten — Quickfire Questions with Duncan
04:09 What Is Dissociation — Duncan’s Definition
05:37 The Body’s Signal — There’s More Here, There’s More Here
06:25 It’s a Survival Mechanism We’ve Turned Against Ourselves
06:55 The Origin for Duncan — An Overbearing Household
08:45 Not Allowed Out After School — The Rules and the Punishment
10:10 Teaching Him He’s Unsafe, Not Teaching Him the Skills
11:00 Shutting Down the Desire to Have Needs at All
14:30 15 Years on the Road as a Drummer — Risky Behaviour and Running
17:00 The Slow Down — Leaving New York City for the Mountains
19:00 Things Starting to Emerge in the Quiet
20:30 The Healing Space Is Very Feminine — Where’s the Stuff for Men?
22:00 Finding the Men’s Group and the Somatic Practice
24:00 What Happens in the Group — Presence, Breath, Body
25:30 Why Children Dissociate — When Caregivers Can’t Handle What’s Happening
27:10 It’s Not My Fault, But It Is My Responsibility
28:50 Breaking the Cycle — Passing Something Different to His Son
30:30 The Gap Between Knowing and Feeling
32:00 Understanding Your Problem Doesn’t Always Solve It
34:00 Why Men’s Groups Work — What’s Different About Being in a Circle
36:30 The Nervous System in a Group Setting — Co-Regulation
38:30 Somatic Practice — What It Actually Involves
45:00 The CORE Programme — 10 Weeks, Men’s Group, Nervous System Education
46:46 Where to Find Duncan and Meld
48:09 Dom’s Closing Reflection
You can find more about MELD @ Instagram
All previous Torque episodes available at
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Original music composed and used with permission from Alex Tilley
Video Editing for Socials assistance provided by Lily O'Connor
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