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00:00:21.000Welcome to the sibling Leadership Network podcast. The sibling Leadership Network is a national nonprofit whose mission is to provide siblings of individuals with disabilities the information, support and tools to advocate with their brothers and sisters and to promote the issue is important to us and entire families.
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00:00:42.060Hello, and thank you for tuning in for another episode of the sibling Leadership Network podcast. This month we will be talking about Sibshops, what they are and why you should be involved. Our guests today are Emma shoutouts. Emily Hall, Rachel Patterson and Tina Prochaska. Thank you for joining us today, everyone.
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00:00:43.890Thanks for having us, Chris.
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00:00:45.600Glad to be here.
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00:00:51.990I'm just going to dive into it and ask everyone to please introduce yourselves and tell us about your involvement in Sibhops.
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00:01:33.689Okay, well, I am Tina Prochaska I have a deaf sibling, an older sister and I come from a big family. I'm retired from the Tennessee School for the Deaf in Knoxville. And I ran some shops there for 27 years or until I retired. Probably before some of you were born, I was one of the like the OGS almost. And I absolutely love it. I got involved when Don Meyer first came to DSD to do a presentation and I got asked to be on the adult sibling panel and then kind of participate in the demo.
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00:01:39.299sibs shop and disrupted I've lived led them in multiple states and multiple countries and love sibshops.
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00:02:49.500Hi, this is Emma and I am connected to the sibling support world because I have a younger brother with autism and intellectual disabilities. I live in Nashville, Tennessee, and he lives nearby in Franklin, Tennessee. I currently lead Tennessee's chapter of the SLN, TABS, Tennessee adult brothers and sisters. And I feel really lucky that I was able to attend a handful of sibshops growing up as a kid, I think I attended maybe maybe five or six, when I was maybe around nine or 10 or 11. And that was here in in the middle Tennessee area. That was my first glimpse into meeting other brothers and sisters of folks with disabilities who really got it. And I've been hooked for life, obviously, staying connected to the sibling support world. So now tabs, you know, tries to grow the number of sibshops available across Tennessee. And so that's how I'm kind of still involved.
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00:03:15.240Thanks, Emma. So I'm Emily Holl. I am the lucky person who gets to be the director of the sibling Support Project, and to carry on the incredible work that Don Meyer started to do with siblings, gosh, four decades ago, maybe even a little longer. The sibling Support Project is the first national program dedicated entirely to supporting siblings.
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00:03:24.150And Don Meyer is not only the founding director of the sibling support project, but he's the person who created sim shops.
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00:03:57.300And he did that in the late really started researching that in the late 1970s As a graduate student of Special Education at the University of Washington, and launched the first sim shop right here in Washington in 1982. I am also a sibling and I have had the pleasure of facilitating some shops, first in New York City and now sort of really all over the worlds trading helping to train other organizations on how to offer sibhops.
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00:04:13.979I'm Rachel Patterson. I live in Washington, DC, but I'm originally from Seattle, Washington. And so was lucky enough to have a child know Don Meyer and participate in the sibshops that he put on.
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00:04:31.019Mostly in the early 1990s. I participated in it as a young kid and then probably until I was I don't know, what do they call it a tween you know, 1213 or something like that. My younger sister's name was Amy and she was born with developmental disabilities.
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00:04:37.410That's That's my knowledge of some shops. I haven't been involved as a as an adult, but they were an important part of my childhood.
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00:04:44.970Awesome. Thank you all so much for sharing. In your experience, what exactly are sibhops and why are they important?
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00:06:05.240Sibshops are peer support activities for kids who's who have siblings with special needs. But honestly, kids just think they're loads of fun to come to they, you know, it's all this stuff. All this peer support involved. kind of wrapped into fun and games and cooking and art and all this stuff. And it's just a great opportunity for young kids to meet other siblings who are walking the same walk with them that they might not ever they might not ever get to meet. And I think they're important because, you know, I'm, I'm one of the older ones here, well, no, not one of the oldest one here. And back in my day, many, many families had multiple children, it's way more common now, for families to have two kids. And if one of them has special needs, that means the other one is really like a singleton in going through it in unless there's some kind of formal way that kids are introduced to others. If you know others who are siblings, they might not ever get to share those experiences. And I think they're super important. I will say, because I've done it for, you know, close. Well, the first kids that I started with in some shops are now in their late 30s.
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00:06:33.050I've seen the impact the positive impact it has on families, the parents on the other siblings, but mostly, it's such a positive impact on the child with special needs, because it allows a safe place for the kid who might be feeling resentment or anger or guilt to come and express it and go, Oh, wait, I'm not weird for feeling this way. Because I see other people do it, here's a healthy way to get it out. And I'm going to have some fun while I'm doing it, and go home and love my family even more.
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00:07:37.910I'll say for me, as a kid Sibhops were really the first place where I felt like I could go and be around both kids and adults who really got it understood what my life was like, and what our home was like and the chaos that sometimes comes with living with a sibling with disabilities, that was the first place that it felt like it was a judgment free place to talk about the hard parts of being Evans sister. And my fears and anxieties. You know, I think in many, in many ways, I feel like kind of the stereotypical older sister SIB and that, you know, I felt, you know, like, I needed to be very self sufficient and independent and not stress my parents out a lot and be very well behaved. And to help her take, you know, I was the I was the peer model in all of evidence therapy sessions.
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00:08:37.039And such, and sip shops were the first place where I could say, you know, that's stressful sometimes. And, you know, sometimes they just want to be a kid. And, and I didn't have to worry that the grown ups or the other kids in the in the class would, or in the in the sub shop would think that that meant that I wasn't a good sister, or that I didn't, didn't love and, and care for my brother and my whole family. But that there were some hard, hard parts about life. And so for me, it was, it was a fun experience, but also just very comforting and reassuring and validating to be around other people who got it and and as a shy kid, I thought it was really nice that there were some structured activities that really invited that kind of feedback and made it made us talk about our feelings. And yeah, so it was, I think, just a very positive experience for me.
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00:09:10.799I just love to hear that every time I hear it adults, reflecting back on their sim shop experience, I always say gosh, I wish they had some shops when I was a kid. So I just missed that boat. But it's such a pleasure to be part of them now and to to experience little siblings coming into a space where maybe they've never met another sibling before. And very quickly understand that they don't have to share every detail of their life because the other people in the room get it.
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00:09:18.570Sib shops, as Tina said are really a combination of information and peer support in a highly recreational setting.
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00:09:28.649That's kind of the the the basic recipe, right? It's a space where kids can come and get information about their siblings, disabilities and maybe the services they're receiving.
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00:10:12.330We find that that's one of the biggest ways that the sibling experience really does parallel the parent experience is that need for information about the disability and that doesn't always happen at home, right that those aren't always conversations that parents are having with their other kiddos for the best and most loving reasons, but it can leave a lot of questions and a lot of worries and a lot of maybe assumptions sometimes and maybe when kids don't have accurate information Shouldn't they tend to put the pieces together in creative ways, sometimes not always the most accurate ways, there's an expression that I love so much that children are excellent observers, but not always the best interpreters.
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00:12:27.779And so we really want them shops to be a space where kids can come and get information and ask questions and not feel like it's wrong. To want to know, this, this information, peer support, as Tina said, so, so crucial to the sim shop model. Because we know as people who have facilitated sim shops, we know that we are not the experts in the room, the kids are really the experts of their own experiences, and they have so much wisdom to share with one another. So peer support is a really big, really big part of the sub shop, equation. And then fun. I mean, we're working with kids. And so as Emma said, you know, even our discussion activities are structured as games. And that can really help children who might be shy, like Emma said, when she was a shy kid, or kids who just aren't really maybe used to talking about their experience as a sibling, or, or maybe even framing it within their own minds as like something that is noteworthy or, you know, worth talking about, because it's just, they're just their life is there. This is like baseline, this is like, just my life. So those activities being structured as games really helped the kids feel comfortable. And as Tina can attest, and probably Emma and Rachel, you know, not all of our activities and sub shops are discussions about our siblings, right, we really want to have as much fun as possible. Again, because we're working with kids, some of whom have big responsibilities at home, or maybe they're putting a lot of pressure on themselves, to, you know, sort of be the perfect kiddo and not make the waves because their parents have enough going on. Or maybe they are actively helping out at home with the care of their sibling, we know that a lot of a lot of siblings help out with their brothers and sisters with disabilities. So we want some shops to be a space where they can come and just play and have fun and be kids. And we want to get to know who they are. Some shops are a space where this is really about you, and learning who you are as a person. And I think that can be really valuable.
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00:13:27.210You know, one of the things that I found valuable, and I have met adults who have talked about this is having named the experience that I was going through but this is a thing you are going through that is that is different than your friends that is worth dissecting and talking about and I met an adult said who said she was so much that that that had existed when she was a kid that like the the even the name said had existed and that she had, it's not just the meeting other people Oh, that's incorrect, that's crucial, but the providing that framework for you to think about what it is that you're experiencing. And then also, you know, talking about all the things that you think about when you're a kid, you talk to the people who are like in your family or your friends at school, and the people in your family all have sort of a vested interest in what is happening and your friends at school, are probably not going to understand or be equipped to have that conversation with you.
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00:13:28.950So that's what found, I found most valuable getting jobs.
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00:13:33.269Can you give us an example of an activity that might happen during a SIP shop,
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00:14:47.039one of the favorite things our kids did was they like to do the interview game, like you know, and that was we use, you used it as an icebreaker to get kids feeling that could talk about the good and the bad. And what they did is they pair up and you know, if they weren't there, you know, the first time they instantly were paired with a friend. And they asked them questions about themselves and about their sibling, like what do you do really well? And what do you do not so good, you know, and then they, you know, the other person does the same and then they introduce their friend, and you tell about the other person but what it does is it gives permission to say the not so good stuff. And and I was really lucky in almost all the sub shops that facilitated that the adult leaders were all adult siblings too. And sometimes we would have to model that the first time. But it the kids thought it was just fun because they were interviewing and sometimes we would play it up like it was a TV show, you know, and they like do this. But it just I mean, like Emily said before, it's just brilliant, phenomenal, great peer support in a game activity.
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00:15:38.000I think that's one of my favorites to strengths and weaknesses. You know, like I often say to people that any kind of really fun sort of activity that you might find at summer camp That kind of thing is there's a good chance that someone somewhere is incorporating it into a sim shop. I think that what really distinguishes a sim shop from another kind of, well, first of all recreation program that like happens to have siblings in it, which is also fun. I mean, that's great. But I think what really makes us sim shop is Sim shop. The heart and soul of Sim shops are really those discussion activities, like strengths and weaknesses. All of which are, you know, framed as games, there's one that I really love called feelings on a rope.
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00:16:27.230And we actually modified it for online sim shops. But the The basic idea is that you, when you're in person, you have two facilitators, and they're holding up a 10 foot or 12 foot rope, okay, there's one on one end and one on another end. And one of the facilitators represents the number one. And the facilitator on the other end holding the other end of the rope represents number 10. And the facilitators ask the kids a number of questions, and they can one at a time come up and sort of stand at the place on the rope that represents the number that describes how they feel about something. So it's kind of like a giant Likert scale from one to 10. So we might start by asking them something like, you know, we have a really serious question.
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00:16:32.809And if you don't feel comfortable answering it, that's okay. But you don't want a scale of one to 10. How do you feel?
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00:16:37.460What are your true honest feelings? About pepperoni pizza?
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00:17:15.920Okay, and you might start with something like that. And one by one. Oh, I'm a one because I hate pepperoni. And I'm a 10. I love pepperoni. I'm a five I'll eat it if it's there. But it's not my favorite, right? And then you kind of build building other questions, you know about their experiences, maybe being a sibling on a scale of one to 10 How do you feel about having friends over when your siblings around? And that's always it, it's always so first of all fun, because they just love like coming up there. And some of them really speak with gusto about, you know, what their feelings are about this thing.
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00:17:30.049Sometimes they stand like, you know, to the side, like, I'm not even on the road, I'm a negative, I'm a negative 10. So I'm going to be a way over here.
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00:17:48.470And it gives the kids who are listening and watching an opportunity to maybe consider a different perspective, right, because we're not all going to be the same number. And and a lot of our discussion activities, I think are really helpful in that way. Because they enable the kids to sort of see different perspectives,
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00:17:52.289what impact have SIB shops had on your lives?
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00:19:32.670Oh my gosh, I can't even I could list the impact. We don't have enough time. Let's see Emily smell and hear. Like she said, I wish they had been around when I was a kid. But having the opportunity to facilitate some shops and get involved in this community and help other kids through it has been so phenomenal for me personally, but also professionally, like I alluded to before, I mean I because of this, I kind of moved into this other realm. Like I lead, I was invited to be the guest speaker at a conference in Italy. They paid my way. And I had led strip shops here in Ghana and a couple times and I can probably at least a dozen states. I've been to you know, like invited to multiple international conferences to lead SIP shots for kids and a lot of it was in the Deaf, Deaf Blind CHARGE Syndrome world, which typically people don't think of is you know, because a lot of times they'll go sibling support for people with siblings with intellectual disabilities. And I'm here to tell you sibling issues or sibling issues. You know, if you've got a Deaf save, if you've got blind Sam deaf blind, zip, zip with Angel, you know, whatever syndrome, it's the same, your family is different. And it has been so powerful for me and I felt like it like when we were alluding to you had you had a label a name like to what you were feeling. I had this kind of label that here I can speak with authority on something. And I always felt positive about myself as a teacher. But this was like, This is my passion. I've always teased I'm like a disciple of Don Meyers. But it was like phenomenal impact.
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00:20:11.299Honestly, I think the biggest impact that sib shops had for me was was just introducing the concept of peer support and this this community of fellow sibs early on and so I attend, you know, the second I got to college and heard that there was going to be an adult sibling conference, which was hosted by tabs which I which I I mentioned I now lead, I knew that I wanted to go there and I'm passionate about peer supports for adult siblings.
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00:21:16.579Because it's made such a difference to my own emotional well being and mental health and knowing folks like, like Tina or other siblings who are further along in their life journey and, and really prepared me to think about kind of the conversations I needed to have with my family and with my spouse and, you know, just things things to be reflecting on as I got older, balancing my my sibling role, with all of the other roles that I want to play in my life and having a good balance of, of all of all of those parts that I need to play, not defaulting to sacrificing everything for Evan, which I think I maybe grew up thinking was my lot in life and what I was going to be expected to to be as I got older, sib shops were the open door for me into the broader network of support from siblings of folks with disabilities. And that was life changing and continues to
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00:21:46.009I'm like Tina, and am I feel that being part of SIB shops and being part of the sibling support community has been one of the greatest joys of my life. And I remember attending the SIB shop facilitator training that Don Meyer was leading in 2007.
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00:23:13.730Maybe, and I remember just being blown away just sitting in that audience being blown away that not only were there other siblings in the world, like me, but here was this entire organization dedicated entirely to supporting siblings. And that was just tremendously validating. I mean, everything that Don talked about, at this shop facilitator training that I now have the joy of leading, just resonated so strongly with me and and really just validated so much for me. And so it has been a tremendous honor to be able to continue, as I said earlier, that important work that Dawn started so many years ago, getting to know Don, and I mean, I think Tina and I could like be the CO presidents of the Don Meyer fan club. I mean, we could get T shirts, I don't know. I know he's gonna listen to this at some point and just chuckle So he's still very, very supportive of the sibling Support Project and some shots by the way, when he's not chasing his two little grandchildren around, which he does frequently. But getting to know Don, getting to know so many incredible facilitators, people like Tina, who are so dedicated and steadfast in their efforts to support siblings, because they derive joy from it.
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00:23:22.130And also because they understand how important it is for siblings to have that space. That has been a tremendous honor and getting to know other siblings.
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00:23:38.809You know, I remember Emma once said on us, adult sibling panel that we were facilitating, she said, she said, Yeah, you know, coming to some shops as a kid, it introduced me to that sibling community that I knew would be there for me forever thereafter.
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00:24:04.099And when I think about growing up, without knowing any other siblings myself, I think about how powerful that is that this community exists today, I think largely because of Don Meyer and because of his acknowledgement that siblings matter. And that siblings deserve to have a space to connect and support each other.
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00:24:20.630Similar to Emma and Emily, having sibshops in my young life helped me to integrate what my experiences were. I remember, I moved to Washington to see a chair to work the and disability policy and people were like, Oh, are you involved in this leadership network? And I was like, what?
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00:25:17.509It's like it hadn't occurred to me that there would also be groups for adults. Like, oh, that's for kids. And I was like, Oh, this is cool. And so that was great to then re enter sibling peer support as as an adult. So that I think is an impact that it's had on on my life. And yeah, Emily, I wonder if like, What would some shots have happened without dawn with siblings supportive happened without dawn i Yeah, right. I don't think so. And it's really extraordinary to have someone who was able to take a step back because To say siblings are forgotten. it's broader than disability policy, in public policy in a lot of different ways. The sibling relationship is really overlooked. It's just bizarre, because if you ask any person who has siblings, whether it relationship with them as good or bad, it is very important,
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00:25:22.819in what ways can sib shops influence better long term outcomes for the whole family?
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00:26:27.710Oh, gosh, there are so many ways. And like I said, I, you know, facilitate SIb shops for 27 years. And so I was able to see kids kind of way into adulthood. And what most struck me was it gave them the tools to advocate for themselves. Because in even when they were little kids, they would stand up, like when they were aging out, and they were like, Hey, I'm going to be 14, there's, you got to have a sip shot for me. You know, and, like the demand, but I don't know that without having been in that community of feeling empowered as a sibling, that would have felt that and so I've seen them into adulthood, then advocate saying to the parent, Hey, you gotta have a plan for the future. And hey, you know, I love my brother, but I don't want my brother to live with me later on. And I don't think he wants to live with me either. So let's come up with another plan. You know, so there's that whole kind of empowerment thing for siblings.
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00:26:32.509But also, it's just, I think itself, so many relationships.
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00:26:47.930I've had parents call me the morning after the kids first sip shop, and they're like, What did you do? Like, this is amazing, they're not fight, they don't feel as resentful. Because suddenly they realize, okay, here's why I'm feeling this way.
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00:27:04.640And I'm not a bad person. It's just a situation. And now I understand things better. And I just think it helps not only the sibling, the parents, but most, most especially it helps a child with special needs. And I can cite example, after example, but I won't do that. It, it's a wonderful Program.
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00:29:22.990You know, I really just have to agree with everything you said. But also add that either supporting siblings has positive outcomes for the entire family. The same way that, you know, when we support parents, there are better outcomes for everyone in the family, right. The siblings who do have that opportunity to process their experience to understand their experience, to be validated to be heard, are much more likely to first of all, develop advocacy skills, yes. But also a better sort of value of they, they they value themselves as they should, because they've had an opportunity to be validated and to be heard, right. And, and we know that supporting siblings, when they're young, enables them to elect to remain lovingly involved in the lives of their brothers and sisters for the long haul. And that is as compelling a reason as I can think of that we really should be thinking about brothers and sisters at every turn. And sometimes we'll have people who come through this workshop facilitator training. And, you know, they say, Well, you know, I really had to convince my agency to, to sponsor this training and to, to enable us to start some shops. And you know, these are like the amazing advocates who who come to this work and who it's such a pleasure to work with. But I often say to them, you know, we have research that tells us that adult siblings who reflect on their experiences in sim shops, they are more likely to be to tell us that they feel more ready, willing and able to support their brothers and sisters into the future. And, you know, again, I think if there's any organization that supports people with disabilities, that's not sure about supporting siblings, that's a really compelling fact to share with them.
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00:29:27.309Has the pandemic changed what sub shops look like?
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00:31:20.519you know, I kind of had the good fortune of retiring right before the pandemic hit, but I know for my school and we had, you know, like I said, 25 plus years of doing sous chefs very strong slipshod program there. And there was some strong people that were trained that were ready to carry it on. And they couldn't figure out a way to do it and in Consequently, there are no safe shops they are because they're that that gap happened. And then they did you know the people that took over after me they weren't adult siblings. So I do think it changed civil SIB shops in a bad way, because everything just came to a halt. And one of the organizations that did slip shops for for many, many years was international CHARGE Syndrome Foundation. And we would have conferences, every two years, people come from all over the world. And we would do the SIP shops, and, you know, like, back to back to back to back for like four days. And it was so funny, because the kids remembered everything that we did that, you know, they'd never even assemble from Israel, you know, Germany, Canada, you know, Pyxis, whatever. They come together, and they instantly felt that bond. And so when they wanted to try to do a zoom conference, right in the middle of COVID, they call me and they asked if I could figure out a way to do it over zoom in, and I could not, I could not figure out how to recreate that. With all the different timezones with all the different housing setups, I couldn't get, you know, because that was the one thing that kids all said, when they got in there, and we closed the doors. There's something about the power of being in that room, knowing it's a safe space.
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00:31:34.019And my personal feeling was it was very challenging, and kudos to anybody that could have done it, you know, virtually, we just couldn't do it. And so it just broke my heart that back on now.
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00:32:22.559Yeah, I will say that the pandemic has changed the sib shop, community, just the way it's changed the whole world. And the pandemic was a time especially early on, when siblings needed our support more than ever, right, they suddenly didn't have their usual outlets of like, even going to school or their after school activities, or playdates with friends. And so as we all experienced with all of us, in our families under one roof, those dynamics good and not so good. We're just magnified, I think, for all of us. And we heard from siblings, and from facilitators like this is needed now more than ever.
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00:34:06.438And so as a sub shop community, we had to pivot pretty quickly, like the rest of the world had to figure out how to do things, no longer in person. And so we first of all started to meet over zoom, has a sub shop facilitator community. So we have a Facebook group, a closed Facebook group for people who are facilitating sub shops that are registered in our online directory. And we got together, I think that our first meeting was middle or end of March, that we all in 2020, that we all got together and kind of put our heads together and said, How can we do this online, and many SIP shops did move online, we were able to share a lot of resources, there were a lot of really great resources for kids at that time, because suddenly, we're all doing remote learning from home. And so there were our schools shared out a bunch of resources. And we as the sub shop community, we have a lot of folks contributed ideas and resources to that space. And so I, I honestly am so grateful to and proud of all of the facilitators who did kind of piece it together and make it work. While we were all still on lockdown. You know, I alluded to the are the activities feelings on the screen it feelings on a rope, we change that to feelings on a screen. And so instead of having, you know, a big rope, we could hold up a little card with a number from one to 10. Right?
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00:36:28.994Well, we're in our little Brady Bunch box here are looking at each other. So, so we really did, I think recognize the tremendous need that these siblings had to still get together. Now. Here we are, however many years I can't say after or coming out, maybe coming out of the pandemic, right. Our world has definitely changed. We are all doing more online. And I think for the most part so we still meet as a sub shop facilitator community. We still meet regularly and whenever we do I still kind of take a poll and say who's who's doing online sub shops who's doing in person? I believe the vast majority of sub shops are back to the in person format which is the intended or original way that the shops for design, as Tina said, there's nothing like being in the same space with one another, closing that door. And being in that space. And for us, one of the things that we struggle with at this sibling Support Project is figuring out how we're going to continue to train people to offer some shops, because that training, moved online during the pandemic, and has enabled us to train people literally across the world. And has, has provided so much more access to the training. And one thing that we don't have as part of that training, is the ability to be all together in the same space for a live demonstration of shop. And that is the most powerful and helpful part of that training, kind of like trying to teach a classroom teacher online how to how to do their job, right, not not quite the same, a little bit is lost in translation. So we're moving really more towards offering in person trainings, again, kind of taking the temperature of whether people are ready to, to be in person at a large training event, for example, or if they're willing to leave their house to do that, right. I mean, a lot of for a lot of people.
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00:36:33.579This is like very comfortable sort of being at home and being on a screen. For SIP shops.
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00:36:37.019However, it's just really it's not the same.
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00:36:40.130how can listeners get involved in Sibshops?
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00:37:17.630Well, the person to talk to is right here, Emily Holl, I mean, they just need to count. If there is a SIP shop in their area, they can contact the people and say, hey, you know, I'd like to be involved. But the best thing is to, you know, contact Emily it sibling support.org. Right. She'll tell you more. But yeah, that's the best. Or if there's a state chapter like tabs in Tennessee, a State Chapter of adult siblings, there might be somebody in that program that is connected, and it could go go through that way. But Emily's the she's the gatekeeper.
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00:38:02.579Well, thank you, Tina. Thank you. Thank you. Yes, I hope that people listening to this, most of whom, I'm guessing will be adult siblings, because this is the sibling Leadership Network podcast. I am hopeful that hearing about sub shops inspires you to want to be part of sub shops, and to maybe even help offer them in your community, or to help organize sub shop facilitator training in your community. So that organizations can come together and learn about siblings and why it's so important to support them, and then how they can support them through sub shops.
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00:38:29.610So yes, so sibling support.org is our website. I always invite people to call me email me, I'm always happy to talk sometimes until I'm blue in the face. It does happen people, I'm always happy to talk about SIP shops, why it's important, the incredible outcomes that we have that you all heard about today on this podcast, and how people can get started with it.
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00:39:03.000Offering sim shops data can be the first to be the first to tell you, it doesn't cost a ton of money to run a sim shop. And it has just a tremendous return on that investment. All you need is someone who someone like Tina who has that heart and soul of of wanting to support siblings of finding joy in doing so. And the program will just it will just sell itself and it will have a great impact on on so many families.
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00:39:13.860So if there's a listener who would like to join a sibshop facilitator training, and is looking for a creative way to get that funded. Do you have any ideas to recommend?
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00:39:21.659Yeah, that's a great question, Chris. Emma, do you want to say something about that before I go?
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00:40:34.610Sure. I'll say that every US state has a Council on Developmental Disabilities if you don't know your DD Council you can go to the National Association of councils on Developmental Disabilities in a CDD and and look up your state council but many have funding available just for supporting causes like this for for advocacy and leadership training for adults with disabilities and family members of people with disabilities. So I work for the Tennessee DD Council. And we have supported meaning reimbursing folks for the cost of going through sips SIB shop facilitator training for several adult siblings, you can just kind of pitch it in your application, as you know, you're growing your leadership skills and giving back to the disability community. And it's a perfect fit for the kind of funding that many DD Councils have available for strengthening the the leadership skills of the disability community in their state.
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00:41:37.327Thanks, Emma, that's a great idea. We love when the DD Councils really not only take an interest in siblings, but an active proactive interest in supporting the same shot facilitator training. Because again, one training can result in the creation of several new SIM shops across the state. And, you know, that's so important to us, because we recognize how busy parents are right parents of kids with disabilities are busy, right, they're, you know, juggling doctor's appointments, and, you know, maybe meetings at school and therapies, and there isn't a lot of extra time, you know, to be driving 45 minutes to get to a sim shop, right to find their air quote, other kiddo support. And so our dream is that there's a sub shop in every community and that every sibling who can benefit from attending one has access to it.
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00:41:51.356So the DD Councils are oftentimes tremendous partners to sponsor that training. Also organizations that support kids with disabilities, adults with disabilities and their families.
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00:43:08.400A lot of times, people who are interested in in starting a sibshop or helping to create a sub shop in their community will direct them to the agency that provides services to that child with a disability. And we encourage them to sort of, you know, ask would, is this something you'd be interested in? And And if the answer is yes, would you be interested in hosting a training, and we love when organizations partner with one another, to host a sim shop facilitator training in their community, not only does it cut down on the cost for them, but it really enables them to build a robust team of facilitators, as Tetum knows, with SIM shops, you, you know, you don't want to have just one person in your organization who's the person doing this kind of in a bubble, you want to have a deep bench to draw from to use a baseball analogy, right, you want to have a, you want to have a team of people who are trained and certified to to offer some shops, so So we hope listeners will be interested in learning more and joining us, joining us in this incredible community.
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00:44:00.119It is such an important thing to do for young kids, you know, it's great for adults to get together and support each other. Kids need adults to make that happen for them. And when you were talking about funding, when I started some shops at TSD, I met with our superintendent at the school, I mean, we were Residential School for the Deaf, very few of their siblings even lived in the same town. And I pitched it to him and I said, Hey, I can do this on a shoestring. Let me just have this space. And he agreed. And then once family started coming to it, they reached out and they were like, This is the best outreach program you have. And it led into more support for other outreach programs in the school. So it's not just good for the siblings, it's good for whatever agency is sponsoring it, because it shows you have a vested interest in providing support for the entire family.
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00:45:26.639I had the thought when we were talking more in detail about the impact of going through a sub shop on on the individual kids, I think it's really powerful for kids to hear not only about similar struggles that or challenges that other families are facing that are like the the challenges that your family may be facing, but to hear about different hard stuff that other families have, that's really, you know, not an issue for you. And I think it can build a lot of empathy for other kinds of disability experiences you can you can learn more about other kinds of disabilities. And also, it gives you a new perspective, I think on what gifts and strengths you're Your sibling has and what you know what you can be grateful for. You know, it's it's about the good good stuff and the hard stuff that it's not just, you know, a space for kids to, to, you know, complain or or process the hard feelings. I always left feeling supported and lucky and grateful for my brother.
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00:46:58.980I'm so glad you said that. That's such an important reminder that SIB shops really are celebrations of the many contributions that siblings make to their families to their communities. Some shops really do take a wellness approach and we we had a strength based approach and sort of building on those strengths and celebrating their resilience and, and grit and resourcefulness and creativity of siblings. Yes, definitely creating a space where they can talk about the tough stuff and, and be heard and validated and recognized as, you know, human beings who have many, we have many facets to our to ourselves into our lives and, and to validate all of those facets is so so important. But what MSN is is so so true that the sibshops are about also celebrating the good things. And I think I think sometimes parents might worry, you know, what is my child going to say about me and our family when when I dropped them off at the Sibshop door. And I think those same parents would be maybe surprised but also really touched to know that a lot of the things that siblings talk about are the the appreciation and the gratitude they have for their parents and their families and their and their brothers and sisters. And that they really do have a lot of a lot of really nice things that they share in that space.
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00:47:05.764Thank you all so much for being here and talking about Sibshops with us today.
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00:47:13.248It's been incredibly enlightening, and I hope it motivates some of our listeners to get involved in a really important part of our community.
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00:47:14.610So thank you so much.
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00:47:17.250Thank you all
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00:47:17.909Take care.
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