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Everything seemed to be going just phenomenal.
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We had won our section for golf.
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00:00:09,359 --> 00:00:14,464
We were just transitioning into basketball
season, which at the time, basketball was my
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favorite sport.
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00:00:15,265 --> 00:00:18,785
I was the starting point guard of the varsity
basketball team.
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00:00:19,425 --> 00:00:24,464
I was dating a cheerleader, and everything
seemed to be going great.
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00:00:24,704 --> 00:00:32,899
That right there was a lightning bolt of shock
where I don't know how at the age of 17 you're
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00:00:32,899 --> 00:00:38,260
supposed to handle anything like that, but so
many thoughts ran through my head just in that
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00:00:38,260 --> 00:00:38,979
moment.
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00:00:39,299 --> 00:00:45,674
But it was such a low, such a rock-bottom type
of moment where everything had been going so
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00:00:45,674 --> 00:00:50,314
good and it came crashing down in an instant.
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That was my pull hook moment, and throughout
life, it always felt like I was just carrying
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baggage along with me.
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Wasn't depression, I would say, but it was
almost like an avoidance, a I don't wanna deal
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00:01:02,920 --> 00:01:03,719
with this.
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00:01:04,439 --> 00:01:07,879
And, I would break down and start crying if I
ever had to talk about it.
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00:01:13,015 --> 00:01:18,854
Welcome everybody to the Pull Hook, an
evolution of the Pull Hook Golf podcast where
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golf is no longer the destination.
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It's still going to be very much a part of the
show, but it's more so about the moment rather
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00:01:26,670 --> 00:01:31,709
than about an analysis or anything along those
lines with the game of professional golf.
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00:01:31,709 --> 00:01:37,069
So for everybody who has been a Pull Hook Golf
listener, thank you for being an audience
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00:01:37,069 --> 00:01:42,355
member, and thank you for coming over and
listening to the new podcast, the Pull Hook.
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00:01:42,594 --> 00:01:46,114
But this is all about those pull hook moments
in life.
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I'm gonna be interviewing and having
conversations with experts, leaders, founders,
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you know, regular individuals, but at the same
time, professional athletes as well, talking
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about the pull hook moment that resonated
within their life or within their sport and
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00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:07,159
that moment, how they persevered, how they
overcame it.
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But the pull hook, just so that you know, it
was my big miss in the game of golf.
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00:02:14,465 --> 00:02:19,185
When I played professionally and I was under
pressure, that was the shot that came out that
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00:02:19,185 --> 00:02:21,000
was the round-ruiner.
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00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:26,599
It was like a lightning bolt of shock going
through my entire body when that shot would
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00:02:26,599 --> 00:02:27,239
come out.
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00:02:27,239 --> 00:02:29,000
It was almost disbelief.
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00:02:29,319 --> 00:02:31,799
It was the identity shaker.
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00:02:31,799 --> 00:02:33,479
It was the confidence remover.
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00:02:34,135 --> 00:02:37,415
And all of a sudden, it's like, where do I go
from here?
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00:02:38,055 --> 00:02:40,615
It is such a shocking golf shot.
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00:02:40,775 --> 00:02:47,849
And towards the end of last season of the Pull
Hook Golf podcast, I had three interviews with
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00:02:47,849 --> 00:02:52,490
Marty Sanchez, Terrence Daniels, and Christian
Heavens in which I asked that question.
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00:02:52,889 --> 00:02:54,730
What's your pull hook moment?
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00:02:55,050 --> 00:03:01,210
And we saw that within the game of golf, two
out of the three ended up having pull hooks
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00:03:01,210 --> 00:03:05,855
themselves and in big crucial moments that
seemed to ruin everything.
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00:03:06,175 --> 00:03:07,294
However, they survived.
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00:03:07,294 --> 00:03:08,254
They persevered.
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00:03:08,254 --> 00:03:12,175
They overcame, and now they're achieving
success within their lives, whether it's
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writing a book, playing in a professional tour,
or otherwise.
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00:03:19,289 --> 00:03:24,810
For me, and this is where we're gonna get a
little bit personal on this first show.
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00:03:25,210 --> 00:03:31,449
And I think what you're going to take from the
show overall, obviously, I haven't recorded all
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00:03:31,449 --> 00:03:36,134
of the episodes for this season, and those are
gonna be coming one at a time.
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00:03:36,134 --> 00:03:43,415
And it's gonna be a living, breathing podcast
rather than something that is defined.
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00:03:43,814 --> 00:03:48,520
So every story is going to be a little bit
different, and I don't even know what we're
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00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:54,680
ultimately gonna find at the end of all of
this, but I'm curious in order to find out.
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Right?
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00:03:56,280 --> 00:04:03,174
But for me, you look at the logo of this
particular podcast, you might be going, what
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00:04:03,174 --> 00:04:04,854
the hell is that thing?
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00:04:05,174 --> 00:04:09,574
Well, for one, that is a logo of integration.
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00:04:09,655 --> 00:04:10,375
Okay?
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00:04:10,935 --> 00:04:14,854
Where that encompasses my pull hook moment in
life.
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00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:19,770
The Sonoran Desert toad that is on top.
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00:04:20,970 --> 00:04:23,689
The Bufo light coming from its mouth.
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00:04:24,329 --> 00:04:28,170
And I'll talk about all of this in just a
second, and I'll explain it further.
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And then the golf ball at the bottom, the
underbelly, which I used to think was my
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00:04:32,115 --> 00:04:32,675
identity.
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00:04:32,675 --> 00:04:35,634
I used to think, man, without golf, who am I?
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00:04:36,034 --> 00:04:43,154
And recently, I started to discover what
alignment really feels like and then what
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00:04:43,154 --> 00:04:48,430
purpose is there behind all of this, and that's
where it goes beyond the game of golf.
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00:04:48,430 --> 00:04:48,750
Sure.
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00:04:48,750 --> 00:04:50,589
The game of golf has been a part of my life.
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00:04:50,589 --> 00:04:55,230
It's still going to be a part of the show
ongoing as we're gonna be talking, like I said,
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00:04:55,230 --> 00:05:01,535
with experts, with other professional athletes,
with professional golfers as well, but we're
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00:05:01,535 --> 00:05:03,055
gonna go beyond that too.
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00:05:03,694 --> 00:05:09,375
But the logo, that stands for what I've been
through with my pull hook moment.
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00:05:09,774 --> 00:05:16,670
And I'm gonna start off with why the toad, why
the Bufo Alvarius, like, light, Why the
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00:05:16,670 --> 00:05:18,509
underbelly of the golf ball?
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00:05:18,830 --> 00:05:24,670
And I wanna take you on a little journey back
over 20 years ago where I was a senior in high
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00:05:24,670 --> 00:05:25,150
school.
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00:05:26,110 --> 00:05:30,455
Everything seemed to be going just phenomenal.
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00:05:30,694 --> 00:05:34,855
We had won our section for golf.
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00:05:35,495 --> 00:05:40,535
We were just transitioning into basketball
season, which at the time, basketball was my
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00:05:40,535 --> 00:05:41,370
favorite sport.
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00:05:41,370 --> 00:05:44,889
I was the starting point guard of the varsity
basketball team.
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00:05:45,449 --> 00:05:50,569
I was dating a cheerleader, and everything
seemed to be going great.
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00:05:51,689 --> 00:05:57,855
Well, one morning in November, everything
changed.
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00:05:58,574 --> 00:06:07,535
It was the pull hook moment where in class, and
I remember this vividly, I get called out by
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00:06:07,535 --> 00:06:09,935
the guidance counselor to come to his office.
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00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:15,889
And he actually walked out, pulled me out of
class, walked me to his office, and then sat me
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00:06:15,889 --> 00:06:21,569
down and let me know my girlfriend had been in
a car accident, not explaining how serious it
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00:06:21,569 --> 00:06:22,370
was or anything.
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00:06:22,370 --> 00:06:25,545
And at the time, I wasn't thinking too much of
it.
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00:06:26,025 --> 00:06:27,705
And he's like, we've gotta go to the hospital.
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00:06:27,705 --> 00:06:28,905
I'm going to drive you there.
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00:06:29,545 --> 00:06:32,504
So he's like, let's get in the car.
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00:06:33,625 --> 00:06:36,185
And her little brother was with me in the car.
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00:06:36,949 --> 00:06:41,350
And trying to keep the situation light, few
jokes here and there, oh, yeah.
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00:06:41,350 --> 00:06:43,030
She's a bad driver, you know.
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00:06:43,030 --> 00:06:45,190
She's had a car accident in the past.
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00:06:45,910 --> 00:06:47,590
What could it be this time?
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00:06:48,790 --> 00:06:49,750
Man, oh, man.
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00:06:49,750 --> 00:06:51,350
Her mom and dad are going to kill her.
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00:06:53,144 --> 00:06:58,104
Well, when we got to the hospital, we found out
how serious it was.
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00:06:59,144 --> 00:07:08,500
She'd severed her brain stem, and I still
remember the doctor coming in very cold and
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00:07:08,500 --> 00:07:14,339
just saying, she severed her brain stem and
she's nonfunctioning.
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00:07:14,500 --> 00:07:15,379
She's dead.
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00:07:16,019 --> 00:07:17,779
Go in and say your goodbyes.
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00:07:18,979 --> 00:07:26,944
That right there was a lightning bolt of shock
where I don't know how at the age of 17 you're
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00:07:26,944 --> 00:07:32,384
supposed to handle anything like that, but so
many thoughts ran through my head just in that
107
00:07:32,384 --> 00:07:33,024
moment.
108
00:07:33,345 --> 00:07:39,750
But it was such a low, such a rock bottom type
of moment where everything had been going so
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00:07:39,750 --> 00:07:44,389
good and it came crashing down in an instant.
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00:07:46,469 --> 00:07:53,985
Going in and into the hospital room, seeing her
lying there, she didn't have a mark on her.
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00:07:54,785 --> 00:07:58,625
Looked completely normal for a day.
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00:07:59,105 --> 00:08:00,225
They kept her alive.
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00:08:00,225 --> 00:08:08,560
Parents wanted to see if for some reason, you
know, could spark some type of something of
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00:08:08,560 --> 00:08:13,759
brain activity in some way because it just
didn't seem real.
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00:08:13,759 --> 00:08:14,720
Didn't feel real.
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00:08:15,845 --> 00:08:18,324
And ultimately, it was unsuccessful.
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00:08:19,365 --> 00:08:24,165
Through the funeral, through everything, I was
a wreck.
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00:08:24,884 --> 00:08:27,845
I was destroyed in a lot of ways.
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00:08:29,879 --> 00:08:37,320
And as I think back, I went into a very deep
depression.
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00:08:38,120 --> 00:08:40,679
Started seeing psychiatrists.
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00:08:42,044 --> 00:08:44,845
They put me on antidepressants.
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00:08:46,365 --> 00:08:55,509
And during that time, it's just kind of a bit
of a fog through that period where then I had
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00:08:55,509 --> 00:08:57,669
to start playing varsity basketball.
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00:08:58,149 --> 00:09:00,070
I had to pretend like nothing happened.
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00:09:00,629 --> 00:09:07,190
And I ended up breaking down midseason where I
was just, like, an overwhelming sensation came
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00:09:07,190 --> 00:09:08,149
across me.
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00:09:08,470 --> 00:09:11,315
And I told my parents, which we lived in New
York.
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00:09:11,315 --> 00:09:13,875
I'm like, I have to go see my grandma in
Arizona.
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00:09:13,875 --> 00:09:19,554
My grandmother was very spiritual, and I just
had this overwhelming sensation that I had to
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00:09:19,554 --> 00:09:20,915
go out there for some healing.
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00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:26,960
And we want to give a special shout-out and
thanks to our sponsors over at Stark Health.
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00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:32,160
Folks, this is the team that's been behind my
entire health and fitness transformation.
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00:09:32,639 --> 00:09:36,975
Over 30 pounds and 10% of body fat later.
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00:09:37,534 --> 00:09:42,814
It's been an incredible transformation, not to
mention how much muscle that I've put on in
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00:09:42,814 --> 00:09:44,174
addition to all of that.
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00:09:44,574 --> 00:09:50,029
But I couldn't have done it without the team
over at Stark Health because it is a holistic
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00:09:50,029 --> 00:09:55,870
approach with a team of naturopathic doctors,
nutritionists, neuromuscular chiropractors, and
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personal trainers.
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So that was my first step in kind of the
healing process, but that was not the end-all
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00:11:51,139 --> 00:11:51,579
be-all.
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00:11:51,579 --> 00:11:56,654
Went back, finished the basketball season after
being a month in Arizona, staying away, and
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00:11:56,654 --> 00:12:04,174
then coming right back into the fold and
finishing out my senior year before going off
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00:12:04,174 --> 00:12:10,960
to college and kind of trying to push
everything out of the way and just start kind
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00:12:10,960 --> 00:12:11,920
of moving on.
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00:12:12,240 --> 00:12:15,759
And in a lot of ways, I didn't handle what took
place.
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00:12:15,759 --> 00:12:20,160
I didn't go in and work on the things that
needed to be worked on.
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00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:22,720
I wanted to avoid it at all costs.
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00:12:23,794 --> 00:12:30,434
And over the course of 20-plus years, if you
were to ask me about that situation, I mean, I
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00:12:30,434 --> 00:12:31,794
barely talked about it.
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00:12:31,875 --> 00:12:35,154
I couldn't talk about it without breaking down.
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00:12:36,289 --> 00:12:38,370
So that was my pull hook moment.
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00:12:38,370 --> 00:12:43,490
And throughout life, it always felt like I was
just carrying baggage along with me.
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00:12:43,570 --> 00:12:48,929
Wasn't depression, I would say, but it was
almost like an avoidance, a I don't wanna deal
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00:12:48,929 --> 00:12:49,330
with this.
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00:12:50,284 --> 00:12:53,804
And, I would break down and start crying if I
ever had to talk about it.
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00:12:53,804 --> 00:12:57,164
Now you're probably wondering, well, why aren't
you bawling and crying right now?
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00:12:57,164 --> 00:13:05,149
Well, because a few years ago, I ended up going
down to Tulum in Mexico and at the same
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00:13:05,870 --> 00:13:09,790
sanctuary as, Mike Tyson of all people.
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00:13:11,070 --> 00:13:13,710
I ended up going through a Boofah of various
experience.
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00:13:13,710 --> 00:13:19,745
Now I had done a lot of research ahead of time
by John Hopkins research and started looking
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00:13:19,745 --> 00:13:22,384
into what's known as five m e o d m t.
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00:13:22,945 --> 00:13:24,865
This is not something that I take lightly.
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00:13:24,865 --> 00:13:28,945
It's not something that I sit here and I'm,
like, advocating for or anything along those
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00:13:28,945 --> 00:13:29,345
lines.
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00:13:29,345 --> 00:13:39,470
But for me, it was the right time to let the
baggage go, and I was desperate in a lot of
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00:13:39,470 --> 00:13:42,430
ways to move beyond that.
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00:13:44,190 --> 00:13:49,815
Bufo Alvarius comes from the Sonoran Desert
toad that you see in the logo.
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00:13:51,334 --> 00:13:59,334
And if anybody knows what this is, it is I
wanna say it's something like 100 times
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00:13:58,889 --> 00:14:02,009
stronger than DMT or something along those
lines.
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00:14:02,009 --> 00:14:06,170
Like, it is the strongest psychedelic in the
world to my knowledge.
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00:14:06,970 --> 00:14:12,330
And you have this ceremony with a shaman and a
teepee.
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00:14:14,105 --> 00:14:17,225
You die, which people call an ego death.
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00:14:17,225 --> 00:14:22,345
So you leave your human ego, and it really
kinda rips it out of you.
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00:14:23,545 --> 00:14:27,550
You go, you meet the creator, you come back.
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00:14:27,550 --> 00:14:31,470
So that's what that light in the toad's mouth
is.
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00:14:32,190 --> 00:14:36,029
When you come back, you no longer have that.
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00:14:36,029 --> 00:14:37,389
It's like a rebirth.
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00:14:37,790 --> 00:14:39,629
You know all the things that took place.
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00:14:40,384 --> 00:14:41,904
You're the same person.
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00:14:43,105 --> 00:14:45,264
It's just you're rebirthed.
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00:14:45,264 --> 00:14:47,825
You don't hold on to those same emotions.
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00:14:47,904 --> 00:14:50,144
That baggage was completely lifted.
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00:14:50,144 --> 00:14:52,144
And I'm like, man, I am good now.
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00:14:53,184 --> 00:15:01,059
And I had never been calmer in my life than for
the months after that experience, and it taught
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00:15:01,059 --> 00:15:01,860
me a lot.
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00:15:02,740 --> 00:15:09,735
But I didn't fully integrate back into
everything until recently, which there were
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00:15:09,735 --> 00:15:11,654
some integration pieces along the way.
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00:15:11,654 --> 00:15:17,174
I've got to thank Brandon Epstein, for
instance, who is a mental performance coach who
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00:15:17,174 --> 00:15:24,649
has gone through a Bufo Alvarius experience
himself, and I worked with him quite a bit.
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00:15:25,610 --> 00:15:31,929
He helped me out a lot of kind of taking that
first step into reintegration because,
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00:15:31,929 --> 00:15:36,345
essentially, if you do nothing after that
experience, you end up falling back into the
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00:15:36,345 --> 00:15:39,225
same programming that you had from your
childhood.
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00:15:39,384 --> 00:15:45,065
You end up going back through some of the same
things that you might not have liked about
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00:15:45,065 --> 00:15:45,464
yourself.
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00:15:47,320 --> 00:15:55,639
And what's crazy is I did it, and it was right
during the season when I was doing the show
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with Bobby Brown.
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And you can go back to old episodes and find
when I talk about coming back from that
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experience and what I experienced.
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But it wasn't until recently that I fully
reintegrated because there was the mind aspect
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to it.
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There was the soul aspect to it.
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But the body side to it, which if you look at
alignment and where there's a lot of people out
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there that are experts within these different
fields.
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I'm not claiming that I am an expert by any
means, but I'm somebody that likes to learn.
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And so for me, learning that the full alignment
doesn't come until you have mind, body, and
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soul.
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Stark Health and you guys, if you get a chance,
go check out Health Is a Skill with the host,
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Todd Vanderheit.
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They recently had me on.
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You're going to see this episode coming out.
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Maybe it coincides with this episode.
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I'm not quite sure.
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It might be a week later.
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But you're going to see and hear all the impact
that that program has had for me, which you
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have a full holistic team of naturopathic
doctors, nutritionists, neuromuscular
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chiropractors, personal trainers.
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And I didn't realize how bad my body and my
health was.
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And going through that experience, I was able
to get into what I refer to now as full
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alignment, and it really awakened me to the
point to where I'm like, man, what I'm doing
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with this show is not what I want to be doing.
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I want to be impacting people's lives.
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I don't want to just be pure entertainment.
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And so that's where this journey with this new
show started to come up.
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And in working with Dr.
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Lee Piccarello, who is a sports psychologist
and just an incredible performance coach as
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well.
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And in working with him, we started talking
about what does Pull Hook Golf stand for.
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We started talking about the pull hook, the
pull hook moment.
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And that's where in the last three interviews
of last year, you end up hearing me ask that
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question.
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Because I wanted to start to dig in and start
to really have some deeper conversations.
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And what I found through those moments is that,
wow, I'm not the only one that goes through a
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pull hook moment.
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Almost everybody that I've talked to has gone
through a pull hook moment in one shape or
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form, you know?
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That's why I want to have these conversations.
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I want to empower people to share their stories
and how they persevered and overcame
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everything.
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So mine just took place over the course of
20-plus years where I was finally free from
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everything that happened, the trauma that
happened.
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Like, it was nobody's fault as to what took
place in my life.
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But it was a shock, that lightning bolt as I
talk about.
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And I experienced that within the game of golf
as well.
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And what's crazy is golf to me is really a
mirror of life.
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00:19:13,554 --> 00:19:19,619
have heard me say it in the past, say it
before, but to me, it really is because there's
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00:19:19,619 --> 00:19:22,660
so many things that happen in golf that happen
in people's lives.
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And when you go out and you play golf with
somebody, you can actually see firsthand what's
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going on with them because it shows
frustration.
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It shows anger.
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It shows patience.
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It shows calm.
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It's an art form.
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You really get to know somebody by going out
and playing a round of golf with them.
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Maybe things that they haven't ever said to you
before, you start to see within their golf
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games.
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So, again, pull hook and the pull hook moment
is what's going to be the biggest part of this
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00:20:01,595 --> 00:20:05,994
particular show, and I can't wait to start
having some of these conversations.
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Because even in just talking about going
through this rebrand, you wouldn't believe the
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00:20:11,434 --> 00:20:13,515
number of people that have been like, oh my
gosh.
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00:20:14,450 --> 00:20:16,210
I've had a pull hook moment.
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00:20:17,009 --> 00:20:18,849
Would you have me on the show?
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00:20:19,890 --> 00:20:27,570
And so those stories, we're gonna get as well
because that is what I wanna bring to the
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00:20:27,570 --> 00:20:27,890
table.
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00:20:28,244 --> 00:20:35,204
And I wanna see what is this theme across all
of the people that I interview.
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00:20:36,404 --> 00:20:42,269
And, obviously, in talking with experts and
leaders and founders and athletes, these are
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00:20:42,269 --> 00:20:44,349
gonna be some high-performing individuals.
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00:20:45,230 --> 00:20:53,630
It's gonna be something that we're going to
find a thread that kind of is found within
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00:20:53,710 --> 00:20:58,794
everybody's story, I feel like, because we're
all interconnected.
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00:21:00,154 --> 00:21:04,714
And that's the one thing that I can tell you
from that Bufo Alvarius experience is you start
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00:21:04,714 --> 00:21:06,474
to realize we're all one.
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00:21:07,740 --> 00:21:13,099
And that's what's pretty cool about this
experience is that we're gonna bring home all
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00:21:13,099 --> 00:21:18,779
these stories into one form, and I hope that
it's powerful.
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00:21:18,779 --> 00:21:24,535
I hope there's something that you can take away
from it that empowers you, that allows you to
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00:21:24,535 --> 00:21:30,774
become better within your life, sport, game of
golf, whatever it may be.
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00:21:31,654 --> 00:21:32,934
But, hopefully, it helps you.
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00:21:35,069 --> 00:21:37,549
And that's the goal behind this podcast.
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00:21:37,549 --> 00:21:40,029
And for me, it's all about learning.
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00:21:40,349 --> 00:21:41,869
I wanna learn about other people.
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00:21:41,869 --> 00:21:44,429
I wanna learn about the experiences that
they've been through.
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00:21:44,990 --> 00:21:47,549
I wanna learn how they got through those tough
moments.
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00:21:48,535 --> 00:21:51,335
Hopefully, there's some things that I'm gonna
learn along the way too.
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00:21:52,295 --> 00:21:59,734
So as a learner, this is exciting to me and why
the show has evolved down this path.
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00:22:00,849 --> 00:22:07,009
Because, again, it wasn't until recently that I
started becoming more and more integrated
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00:22:07,009 --> 00:22:15,945
around realizing what is important to me, for
me, and what do I wanna learn, and where do I
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00:22:15,945 --> 00:22:17,224
wanna go with all of this.
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00:22:18,345 --> 00:22:26,265
And so nobody's alone out there, and I want you
to know that you are not alone.
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00:22:27,410 --> 00:22:35,970
We've all been through a pull hook moment, and
the pull hook will never define us, but it may
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00:22:35,970 --> 00:22:36,929
shape us.
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00:22:38,849 --> 00:22:46,904
I look forward each and every week to learning
just like you are.
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00:22:48,105 --> 00:22:49,944
Welcome to the Pull Hook.
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,320
Everything seemed to be going just phenomenal.
2
00:00:04,639 --> 00:00:08,719
We had won our section for golf.
3
00:00:09,359 --> 00:00:14,464
We were just transitioning into basketball
season, which at the time, basketball was my
4
00:00:14,464 --> 00:00:15,265
favorite sport.
5
00:00:15,265 --> 00:00:18,785
I was the starting point guard of the varsity
basketball team.
6
00:00:19,425 --> 00:00:24,464
I was dating a cheerleader, and everything
seemed to be going great.
7
00:00:24,704 --> 00:00:32,899
That right there was a lightning bolt of shock
where I don't know how at the age of 17 you're
8
00:00:32,899 --> 00:00:38,260
supposed to handle anything like that, but so
many thoughts ran through my head just in that
9
00:00:38,260 --> 00:00:38,979
moment.
10
00:00:39,299 --> 00:00:45,674
But it was such a low, such a rock-bottom type
of moment where everything had been going so
11
00:00:45,674 --> 00:00:50,314
good and it came crashing down in an instant.
12
00:00:50,634 --> 00:00:55,114
That was my pull hook moment, and throughout
life, it always felt like I was just carrying
13
00:00:55,114 --> 00:00:57,195
baggage along with me.
14
00:00:57,640 --> 00:01:02,920
Wasn't depression, I would say, but it was
almost like an avoidance, a I don't wanna deal
15
00:01:02,920 --> 00:01:03,719
with this.
16
00:01:04,439 --> 00:01:07,879
And, I would break down and start crying if I
ever had to talk about it.
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00:01:13,015 --> 00:01:18,854
Welcome everybody to the Pull Hook, an
evolution of the Pull Hook Golf podcast where
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00:01:18,854 --> 00:01:20,935
golf is no longer the destination.
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00:01:21,494 --> 00:01:26,670
It's still going to be very much a part of the
show, but it's more so about the moment rather
20
00:01:26,670 --> 00:01:31,709
than about an analysis or anything along those
lines with the game of professional golf.
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00:01:31,709 --> 00:01:37,069
So for everybody who has been a Pull Hook Golf
listener, thank you for being an audience
22
00:01:37,069 --> 00:01:42,355
member, and thank you for coming over and
listening to the new podcast, the Pull Hook.
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00:01:42,594 --> 00:01:46,114
But this is all about those pull hook moments
in life.
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00:01:46,355 --> 00:01:51,474
I'm gonna be interviewing and having
conversations with experts, leaders, founders,
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00:01:51,959 --> 00:01:57,799
you know, regular individuals, but at the same
time, professional athletes as well, talking
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00:01:57,799 --> 00:02:03,640
about the pull hook moment that resonated
within their life or within their sport and
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00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:07,159
that moment, how they persevered, how they
overcame it.
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00:02:07,585 --> 00:02:14,064
But the pull hook, just so that you know, it
was my big miss in the game of golf.
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00:02:14,465 --> 00:02:19,185
When I played professionally and I was under
pressure, that was the shot that came out that
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00:02:19,185 --> 00:02:21,000
was the round-ruiner.
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00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:26,599
It was like a lightning bolt of shock going
through my entire body when that shot would
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00:02:26,599 --> 00:02:27,239
come out.
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00:02:27,239 --> 00:02:29,000
It was almost disbelief.
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00:02:29,319 --> 00:02:31,799
It was the identity shaker.
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00:02:31,799 --> 00:02:33,479
It was the confidence remover.
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00:02:34,135 --> 00:02:37,415
And all of a sudden, it's like, where do I go
from here?
37
00:02:38,055 --> 00:02:40,615
It is such a shocking golf shot.
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00:02:40,775 --> 00:02:47,849
And towards the end of last season of the Pull
Hook Golf podcast, I had three interviews with
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00:02:47,849 --> 00:02:52,490
Marty Sanchez, Terrence Daniels, and Christian
Heavens in which I asked that question.
40
00:02:52,889 --> 00:02:54,730
What's your pull hook moment?
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00:02:55,050 --> 00:03:01,210
And we saw that within the game of golf, two
out of the three ended up having pull hooks
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00:03:01,210 --> 00:03:05,855
themselves and in big crucial moments that
seemed to ruin everything.
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00:03:06,175 --> 00:03:07,294
However, they survived.
44
00:03:07,294 --> 00:03:08,254
They persevered.
45
00:03:08,254 --> 00:03:12,175
They overcame, and now they're achieving
success within their lives, whether it's
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00:03:12,175 --> 00:03:17,455
writing a book, playing in a professional tour,
or otherwise.
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00:03:19,289 --> 00:03:24,810
For me, and this is where we're gonna get a
little bit personal on this first show.
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00:03:25,210 --> 00:03:31,449
And I think what you're going to take from the
show overall, obviously, I haven't recorded all
49
00:03:31,449 --> 00:03:36,134
of the episodes for this season, and those are
gonna be coming one at a time.
50
00:03:36,134 --> 00:03:43,415
And it's gonna be a living, breathing podcast
rather than something that is defined.
51
00:03:43,814 --> 00:03:48,520
So every story is going to be a little bit
different, and I don't even know what we're
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00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:54,680
ultimately gonna find at the end of all of
this, but I'm curious in order to find out.
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00:03:54,680 --> 00:03:55,240
Right?
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00:03:56,280 --> 00:04:03,174
But for me, you look at the logo of this
particular podcast, you might be going, what
55
00:04:03,174 --> 00:04:04,854
the hell is that thing?
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00:04:05,174 --> 00:04:09,574
Well, for one, that is a logo of integration.
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00:04:09,655 --> 00:04:10,375
Okay?
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00:04:10,935 --> 00:04:14,854
Where that encompasses my pull hook moment in
life.
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00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:19,770
The Sonoran Desert toad that is on top.
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00:04:20,970 --> 00:04:23,689
The Bufo light coming from its mouth.
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00:04:24,329 --> 00:04:28,170
And I'll talk about all of this in just a
second, and I'll explain it further.
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00:04:28,170 --> 00:04:32,115
And then the golf ball at the bottom, the
underbelly, which I used to think was my
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00:04:32,115 --> 00:04:32,675
identity.
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00:04:32,675 --> 00:04:35,634
I used to think, man, without golf, who am I?
65
00:04:36,034 --> 00:04:43,154
And recently, I started to discover what
alignment really feels like and then what
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00:04:43,154 --> 00:04:48,430
purpose is there behind all of this, and that's
where it goes beyond the game of golf.
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00:04:48,430 --> 00:04:48,750
Sure.
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00:04:48,750 --> 00:04:50,589
The game of golf has been a part of my life.
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00:04:50,589 --> 00:04:55,230
It's still going to be a part of the show
ongoing as we're gonna be talking, like I said,
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00:04:55,230 --> 00:05:01,535
with experts, with other professional athletes,
with professional golfers as well, but we're
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00:05:01,535 --> 00:05:03,055
gonna go beyond that too.
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00:05:03,694 --> 00:05:09,375
But the logo, that stands for what I've been
through with my pull hook moment.
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00:05:09,774 --> 00:05:16,670
And I'm gonna start off with why the toad, why
the Bufo Alvarius, like, light, Why the
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00:05:16,670 --> 00:05:18,509
underbelly of the golf ball?
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00:05:18,830 --> 00:05:24,670
And I wanna take you on a little journey back
over 20 years ago where I was a senior in high
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00:05:24,670 --> 00:05:25,150
school.
77
00:05:26,110 --> 00:05:30,455
Everything seemed to be going just phenomenal.
78
00:05:30,694 --> 00:05:34,855
We had won our section for golf.
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00:05:35,495 --> 00:05:40,535
We were just transitioning into basketball
season, which at the time, basketball was my
80
00:05:40,535 --> 00:05:41,370
favorite sport.
81
00:05:41,370 --> 00:05:44,889
I was the starting point guard of the varsity
basketball team.
82
00:05:45,449 --> 00:05:50,569
I was dating a cheerleader, and everything
seemed to be going great.
83
00:05:51,689 --> 00:05:57,855
Well, one morning in November, everything
changed.
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00:05:58,574 --> 00:06:07,535
It was the pull hook moment where in class, and
I remember this vividly, I get called out by
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00:06:07,535 --> 00:06:09,935
the guidance counselor to come to his office.
86
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:15,889
And he actually walked out, pulled me out of
class, walked me to his office, and then sat me
87
00:06:15,889 --> 00:06:21,569
down and let me know my girlfriend had been in
a car accident, not explaining how serious it
88
00:06:21,569 --> 00:06:22,370
was or anything.
89
00:06:22,370 --> 00:06:25,545
And at the time, I wasn't thinking too much of
it.
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00:06:26,025 --> 00:06:27,705
And he's like, we've gotta go to the hospital.
91
00:06:27,705 --> 00:06:28,905
I'm going to drive you there.
92
00:06:29,545 --> 00:06:32,504
So he's like, let's get in the car.
93
00:06:33,625 --> 00:06:36,185
And her little brother was with me in the car.
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00:06:36,949 --> 00:06:41,350
And trying to keep the situation light, few
jokes here and there, oh, yeah.
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00:06:41,350 --> 00:06:43,030
She's a bad driver, you know.
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00:06:43,030 --> 00:06:45,190
She's had a car accident in the past.
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00:06:45,910 --> 00:06:47,590
What could it be this time?
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00:06:48,790 --> 00:06:49,750
Man, oh, man.
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00:06:49,750 --> 00:06:51,350
Her mom and dad are going to kill her.
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00:06:53,144 --> 00:06:58,104
Well, when we got to the hospital, we found out
how serious it was.
101
00:06:59,144 --> 00:07:08,500
She'd severed her brain stem, and I still
remember the doctor coming in very cold and
102
00:07:08,500 --> 00:07:14,339
just saying, she severed her brain stem and
she's nonfunctioning.
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00:07:14,500 --> 00:07:15,379
She's dead.
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00:07:16,019 --> 00:07:17,779
Go in and say your goodbyes.
105
00:07:18,979 --> 00:07:26,944
That right there was a lightning bolt of shock
where I don't know how at the age of 17 you're
106
00:07:26,944 --> 00:07:32,384
supposed to handle anything like that, but so
many thoughts ran through my head just in that
107
00:07:32,384 --> 00:07:33,024
moment.
108
00:07:33,345 --> 00:07:39,750
But it was such a low, such a rock bottom type
of moment where everything had been going so
109
00:07:39,750 --> 00:07:44,389
good and it came crashing down in an instant.
110
00:07:46,469 --> 00:07:53,985
Going in and into the hospital room, seeing her
lying there, she didn't have a mark on her.
111
00:07:54,785 --> 00:07:58,625
Looked completely normal for a day.
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00:07:59,105 --> 00:08:00,225
They kept her alive.
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00:08:00,225 --> 00:08:08,560
Parents wanted to see if for some reason, you
know, could spark some type of something of
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00:08:08,560 --> 00:08:13,759
brain activity in some way because it just
didn't seem real.
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00:08:13,759 --> 00:08:14,720
Didn't feel real.
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00:08:15,845 --> 00:08:18,324
And ultimately, it was unsuccessful.
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00:08:19,365 --> 00:08:24,165
Through the funeral, through everything, I was
a wreck.
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00:08:24,884 --> 00:08:27,845
I was destroyed in a lot of ways.
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00:08:29,879 --> 00:08:37,320
And as I think back, I went into a very deep
depression.
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00:08:38,120 --> 00:08:40,679
Started seeing psychiatrists.
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00:08:42,044 --> 00:08:44,845
They put me on antidepressants.
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00:08:46,365 --> 00:08:55,509
And during that time, it's just kind of a bit
of a fog through that period where then I had
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00:08:55,509 --> 00:08:57,669
to start playing varsity basketball.
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00:08:58,149 --> 00:09:00,070
I had to pretend like nothing happened.
125
00:09:00,629 --> 00:09:07,190
And I ended up breaking down midseason where I
was just, like, an overwhelming sensation came
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00:09:07,190 --> 00:09:08,149
across me.
127
00:09:08,470 --> 00:09:11,315
And I told my parents, which we lived in New
York.
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00:09:11,315 --> 00:09:13,875
I'm like, I have to go see my grandma in
Arizona.
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00:09:13,875 --> 00:09:19,554
My grandmother was very spiritual, and I just
had this overwhelming sensation that I had to
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go out there for some healing.
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And we want to give a special shout-out and
thanks to our sponsors over at Stark Health.
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Folks, this is the team that's been behind my
entire health and fitness transformation.
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Over 30 pounds and 10% of body fat later.
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It's been an incredible transformation, not to
mention how much muscle that I've put on in
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00:09:42,814 --> 00:09:44,174
addition to all of that.
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00:09:44,574 --> 00:09:50,029
But I couldn't have done it without the team
over at Stark Health because it is a holistic
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approach with a team of naturopathic doctors,
nutritionists, neuromuscular chiropractors, and
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personal trainers.
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They all have one goal in mind, to work
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stark.health.
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sunglasses.
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So that was my first step in kind of the
healing process, but that was not the end-all
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be-all.
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Went back, finished the basketball season after
being a month in Arizona, staying away, and
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then coming right back into the fold and
finishing out my senior year before going off
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to college and kind of trying to push
everything out of the way and just start kind
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of moving on.
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And in a lot of ways, I didn't handle what took
place.
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I didn't go in and work on the things that
needed to be worked on.
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I wanted to avoid it at all costs.
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And over the course of 20-plus years, if you
were to ask me about that situation, I mean, I
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barely talked about it.
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I couldn't talk about it without breaking down.
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So that was my pull hook moment.
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And throughout life, it always felt like I was
just carrying baggage along with me.
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Wasn't depression, I would say, but it was
almost like an avoidance, a I don't wanna deal
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with this.
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And, I would break down and start crying if I
ever had to talk about it.
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Now you're probably wondering, well, why aren't
you bawling and crying right now?
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Well, because a few years ago, I ended up going
down to Tulum in Mexico and at the same
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sanctuary as, Mike Tyson of all people.
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I ended up going through a Boofah of various
experience.
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Now I had done a lot of research ahead of time
by John Hopkins research and started looking
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into what's known as five m e o d m t.
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This is not something that I take lightly.
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It's not something that I sit here and I'm,
like, advocating for or anything along those
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lines.
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But for me, it was the right time to let the
baggage go, and I was desperate in a lot of
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ways to move beyond that.
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Bufo Alvarius comes from the Sonoran Desert
toad that you see in the logo.
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And if anybody knows what this is, it is I
wanna say it's something like 100 times
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stronger than DMT or something along those
lines.
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Like, it is the strongest psychedelic in the
world to my knowledge.
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And you have this ceremony with a shaman and a
teepee.
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You die, which people call an ego death.
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So you leave your human ego, and it really
kinda rips it out of you.
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You go, you meet the creator, you come back.
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So that's what that light in the toad's mouth
is.
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When you come back, you no longer have that.
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It's like a rebirth.
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You know all the things that took place.
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You're the same person.
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It's just you're rebirthed.
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You don't hold on to those same emotions.
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That baggage was completely lifted.
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And I'm like, man, I am good now.
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And I had never been calmer in my life than for
the months after that experience, and it taught
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me a lot.
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But I didn't fully integrate back into
everything until recently, which there were
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some integration pieces along the way.
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I've got to thank Brandon Epstein, for
instance, who is a mental performance coach who
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has gone through a Bufo Alvarius experience
himself, and I worked with him quite a bit.
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He helped me out a lot of kind of taking that
first step into reintegration because,
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essentially, if you do nothing after that
experience, you end up falling back into the
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same programming that you had from your
childhood.
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You end up going back through some of the same
things that you might not have liked about
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yourself.
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And what's crazy is I did it, and it was right
during the season when I was doing the show
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with Bobby Brown.
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And you can go back to old episodes and find
when I talk about coming back from that
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experience and what I experienced.
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But it wasn't until recently that I fully
reintegrated because there was the mind aspect
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to it.
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There was the soul aspect to it.
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But the body side to it, which if you look at
alignment and where there's a lot of people out
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there that are experts within these different
fields.
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I'm not claiming that I am an expert by any
means, but I'm somebody that likes to learn.
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And so for me, learning that the full alignment
doesn't come until you have mind, body, and
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soul.
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00:16:39,290 --> 00:16:47,050
Stark Health and you guys, if you get a chance,
go check out Health Is a Skill with the host,
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00:16:47,050 --> 00:16:47,929
Todd Vanderheit.
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They recently had me on.
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You're going to see this episode coming out.
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Maybe it coincides with this episode.
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I'm not quite sure.
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It might be a week later.
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00:16:57,664 --> 00:17:06,190
But you're going to see and hear all the impact
that that program has had for me, which you
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00:17:06,190 --> 00:17:11,710
have a full holistic team of naturopathic
doctors, nutritionists, neuromuscular
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chiropractors, personal trainers.
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And I didn't realize how bad my body and my
health was.
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And going through that experience, I was able
to get into what I refer to now as full
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00:17:23,815 --> 00:17:28,454
alignment, and it really awakened me to the
point to where I'm like, man, what I'm doing
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with this show is not what I want to be doing.
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I want to be impacting people's lives.
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I don't want to just be pure entertainment.
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And so that's where this journey with this new
show started to come up.
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And in working with Dr.
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00:17:43,159 --> 00:17:52,765
Lee Piccarello, who is a sports psychologist
and just an incredible performance coach as
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00:17:52,765 --> 00:17:53,244
well.
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And in working with him, we started talking
about what does Pull Hook Golf stand for.
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We started talking about the pull hook, the
pull hook moment.
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And that's where in the last three interviews
of last year, you end up hearing me ask that
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question.
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Because I wanted to start to dig in and start
to really have some deeper conversations.
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00:18:17,664 --> 00:18:22,705
And what I found through those moments is that,
wow, I'm not the only one that goes through a
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pull hook moment.
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Almost everybody that I've talked to has gone
through a pull hook moment in one shape or
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form, you know?
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That's why I want to have these conversations.
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I want to empower people to share their stories
and how they persevered and overcame
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everything.
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So mine just took place over the course of
20-plus years where I was finally free from
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everything that happened, the trauma that
happened.
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Like, it was nobody's fault as to what took
place in my life.
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But it was a shock, that lightning bolt as I
talk about.
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And I experienced that within the game of golf
as well.
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And what's crazy is golf to me is really a
mirror of life.
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00:19:13,554 --> 00:19:19,619
have heard me say it in the past, say it
before, but to me, it really is because there's
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so many things that happen in golf that happen
in people's lives.
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And when you go out and you play golf with
somebody, you can actually see firsthand what's
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00:19:29,460 --> 00:19:33,055
going on with them because it shows
frustration.
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It shows anger.
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It shows patience.
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It shows calm.
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It's an art form.
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You really get to know somebody by going out
and playing a round of golf with them.
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00:19:44,735 --> 00:19:49,659
Maybe things that they haven't ever said to you
before, you start to see within their golf
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games.
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00:19:51,339 --> 00:20:01,595
So, again, pull hook and the pull hook moment
is what's going to be the biggest part of this
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00:20:01,595 --> 00:20:05,994
particular show, and I can't wait to start
having some of these conversations.
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00:20:06,715 --> 00:20:11,434
Because even in just talking about going
through this rebrand, you wouldn't believe the
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00:20:11,434 --> 00:20:13,515
number of people that have been like, oh my
gosh.
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00:20:14,450 --> 00:20:16,210
I've had a pull hook moment.
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00:20:17,009 --> 00:20:18,849
Would you have me on the show?
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00:20:19,890 --> 00:20:27,570
And so those stories, we're gonna get as well
because that is what I wanna bring to the
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00:20:27,570 --> 00:20:27,890
table.
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00:20:28,244 --> 00:20:35,204
And I wanna see what is this theme across all
of the people that I interview.
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00:20:36,404 --> 00:20:42,269
And, obviously, in talking with experts and
leaders and founders and athletes, these are
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00:20:42,269 --> 00:20:44,349
gonna be some high-performing individuals.
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00:20:45,230 --> 00:20:53,630
It's gonna be something that we're going to
find a thread that kind of is found within
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00:20:53,710 --> 00:20:58,794
everybody's story, I feel like, because we're
all interconnected.
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00:21:00,154 --> 00:21:04,714
And that's the one thing that I can tell you
from that Bufo Alvarius experience is you start
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00:21:04,714 --> 00:21:06,474
to realize we're all one.
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00:21:07,740 --> 00:21:13,099
And that's what's pretty cool about this
experience is that we're gonna bring home all
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00:21:13,099 --> 00:21:18,779
these stories into one form, and I hope that
it's powerful.
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00:21:18,779 --> 00:21:24,535
I hope there's something that you can take away
from it that empowers you, that allows you to
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00:21:24,535 --> 00:21:30,774
become better within your life, sport, game of
golf, whatever it may be.
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00:21:31,654 --> 00:21:32,934
But, hopefully, it helps you.
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And that's the goal behind this podcast.
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And for me, it's all about learning.
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I wanna learn about other people.
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00:21:41,869 --> 00:21:44,429
I wanna learn about the experiences that
they've been through.
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00:21:44,990 --> 00:21:47,549
I wanna learn how they got through those tough
moments.
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Hopefully, there's some things that I'm gonna
learn along the way too.
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00:21:52,295 --> 00:21:59,734
So as a learner, this is exciting to me and why
the show has evolved down this path.
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00:22:00,849 --> 00:22:07,009
Because, again, it wasn't until recently that I
started becoming more and more integrated
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around realizing what is important to me, for
me, and what do I wanna learn, and where do I
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00:22:15,945 --> 00:22:17,224
wanna go with all of this.
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And so nobody's alone out there, and I want you
to know that you are not alone.
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00:22:27,410 --> 00:22:35,970
We've all been through a pull hook moment, and
the pull hook will never define us, but it may
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00:22:35,970 --> 00:22:36,929
shape us.
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00:22:38,849 --> 00:22:46,904
I look forward each and every week to learning
just like you are.
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Welcome to the Pull Hook.
