Yoni Mapping and Internal Pelvic Work with Earth Mama Hayley

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Welcome to another episode of the Midwich Podcast, a show
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for awakened nature and spirit led women who are ready
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to retrieve their power from their inner realms in birth, motherhood, business,
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and in all areas of life. I'm your host, Anita,
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and each episode I'll be sharing deep discussions with wise
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women from all over the world, contributing in their own
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ways to a new yet ancient paradigm. Take your seat
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in the circle and allow this story medicine to move
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further into your memory.
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I am so grateful to be speaking to Haley. You
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may know her as Earth Mama Haley, who also owns
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and runs the Mukabara Healing Center and Sonic Experiencing, which
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is live sound and vibration healing events. So welcome Hailey
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to the podcast. Thank you so much for coming.
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On, Thank you for having me.
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I'm not even sure if I've shared this with you, Hailey,
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but you've kind of been in my sphere for a
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long time, and I think it might have been even
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the Doughterra days, possibly back in the day, and then
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a bit of a funny story to share with everybody
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else we reconnected in this sphere that is Instagram. When
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an alternate version. Alternative version of me was messaging Hailey
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about carrying out a sacrifice to her ancestors and telling
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her how to do that.
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I just remembered that when you said it.
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Yeah, Haley messaged me and said, is this You's like, maybe.
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Pretty sure you've been hafed. You might want to have
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a look at that.
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Exactly. So blessing, what a gift. Thank you. Alternate version
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of Anita. Yeah, super weird and invasive.
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Yeah, bringing us together again exactly.
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So Hailey does such amazing work. I'm going to throw
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it to Haley so she can tell us a little
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bit about herself.
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Okay. I feel like, for me love coming on podcasts
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because it helps me to be able to express what
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you're Only mapping therapy is in a holistic sense, not
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just like it's like someone who's on the journey of
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pleasure and you know, looking for orgasm and cervical orgasms
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and you know, like wanting that femininity and that sensuality
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to come into their life. That there's not just that's
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not all there is. You know. Sometimes the only mapping
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therapy is like a huge, long, expansive guided meditation that
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is like more connecting you to like even just your
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like I said, business success or creativity or like, there's
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so many things it is. It's just it's like a
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presence and a meditation with that part of your body
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that we usually associate with sex. So it's so nice
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to sometimes have a session that isn't even sexual in
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a sense in that I mean, yeah, sure we can
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feel sexual in a you flying, but a lot of
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the time it's come through emotion, or it's come through
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every connection to something that an experience or a memory
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that's not felt so great, you know. And the sessions
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that often chase pleasure, that the person's energy is wanting
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to chase the pleasure and they're not really wanting to
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sit in that. They're not they're not always as I feel,
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transformational or profound, like they're beautiful in their right because
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a lot of the time it might be really empowering
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for that woman to just be like, no, I actually
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am going to sit in my pleasure and I'm going
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to allow that to be here in this moment, and
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that's the empowering thing. But sometimes it comes at the
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expense of not sitting with the other side, you know,
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and allowing the medicine that can be created in the
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womb and through the genitals to be accessed and attuned
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to that emotional part of them. So there's a couple
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of different ways that can have But I do love
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the opportunity to be able to kind of take it
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just beyond that just sexuality space, you know, And I
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think I enjoy taking the opportunity to take sex in
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itself in relationships away from just that space. I like
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to be able to help guide couples into the more
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attuned emotional attunement intimacy part of their relationship, not just
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the physical sexual side of their relationship.
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Em yeah, and then the physical rather than the.
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Yeah we're getting into yeah, we're getting into that realm
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of parasympathetic arousal. Now, I suppose in that that, you know,
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we typically in relationship, what we see a lot of
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is just like the fight flock cycle or you know,
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it's kind of like we need the tension and we
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need the we need the tension, which we're really looking
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for passion, but we go and get it in ways
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that doesn't necessarily create that that connection that's sustainable. It
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needs another incident or another thing, a stimulus to sort
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of come and force us back into that space to
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be able to connect. So nothing's wrong with this, but
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I mean we're all in and out of these cycles
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in our life. Like I've been lying to say that
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it doesn't exist, you know, in the world I'm even in.
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But it's a human it's a human thing to do.
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Parasympathetic arousals more about both people or your being with yourself,
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because obviously it can be parasympathetically arouse on your own.
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Is to go and lean in, like we're saying, into
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those contracted spaces and find capacity there, find more space there,
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find more access to whatever is there, you know, to
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be utilized as medicine and to be present with And
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the longer the more that we do that, the more
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that doesn't it feels like something that can be shared
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with somebody else from a really grounded place. You can
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then bring your truth and your present emotion and the
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current space that you're in to somebody and have them
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meet it and have it to be held and to
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be It's like creates this intimacy that has the nervous
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system in a space of regulation. It means that you
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can feel things more like every little move that you
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make is like big you know, it's not just like
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you don't need so much friction and speed and intensity
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and size, like you know, it's kind of I think
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that's something that happens as well in session, is that
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you might have a woman who's not ever had internal
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orgasm before, and you know, maybe her partner, I mean,
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her partner's penis is probably longer than my fingers, right,
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But it's not about But it's not about whether I
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get in and hit the right spot and do the
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right thing. It's about how much connectedness and presence and
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you know, like time and patience and cultivation can we
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create in that setting so that every single little move
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I make, which I'm telling you now is most of
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the time in Yui mapping therapy is none Like I
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literally don't move half the session. A lot of the time,
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don't even move my hand. It's not about that, And
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I think that's something that gets overlooked in your sexuality
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and relationship with partners, especially long term this the fire
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goes out or this where you need to kind of
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create this stuff. We need to have a big life
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thing happen that creates anguish that connects us back together again.
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And I wonder how much of that doesn't need to
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exist if we're connected in this way and if we're
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spending time with each other and this other way, because
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we're allowing for that connection point or that passion connection
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and emotional as trument that we're actually looking for just
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being in it, you know, and choosing to align with
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it and being in it. So yeah, I feel like
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a lot of the time, the parasympathetic arousal journey for
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me inwardly but also in what I'm teaching, is like
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you don't have to do as much or as quick
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with more intensity to create the pleasure that you're reprogramming
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and creating new pathways into the body that allows you
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to expand and be receptive from and resensitize yourself to
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those real subtle pleasures.
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So tell me about the nervous systems and that frequency
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that moves between two people.
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Yeah, yeah, So well, to tell you about the nervous systems,
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I guess, like, you know, we don't want you can have,
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you know, someone might say, parasympathetic of the nervous system
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is that resty, sleepy, beautiful like digesting part of your
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nervous system and the sympathetic part of your nervous system
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is there, like you're alert and you're responsive and you're
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you know, we need were a nervous system regulation. This
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big trend that's going around about being regulated in your
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nervous system is not ideal in my opinion, because we're
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really not supposed to be again searching for this ultimate
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state all the time, because all we're doing by over
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marketing nervous system regulation is sort of shaming that, you know,
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like that that's the ideal, like chasing happiness for example.
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You know, like, no, you know, I I if my
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self protective mechanism is kicking in and putting me in
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a sympathetic state, probably for good reason, and if not
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for good reason, at least be patient with me and
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help me to learn slowly that I don't need to
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be in it.
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Yeah, I guess that what I read a lot is
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that it's you know, almost like the nervous system is
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in like hypervigilance mode because they've been in trauma or
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whatever it is, or a status for a long period
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of time. But like just just regulating the nervous system,
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there's much more at the core of that.
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Yeah, I mean, I'm not a nervous system expert in
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that I haven't gone and studied, you know, some kind
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of neurological course or something like that, but it's creeped
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into a lot of the different modalities that I have studied.
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So it's kind of like and I study it myself
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because I watch it happen. You know. It's sort of
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when you're watching somebody go from a sympathetic state to parasympathetic,
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and it's like you watch it in yourself. You watch
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it in your children. You can see it in your people,
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and especially in love making. You see it in therapy,
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in healing, you can you know, witness, you can feel
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it in the room, even when you're facilitating a group
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and it's like, all right, we've all landed, you know,
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we've all landed, and that little bit of awkwardness is
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now moved and we're all ready to connect and we're
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ready to have a cuddle puddle you know like that. Yeah,
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sort of it's happening all the time. It's around us
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all the time. I don't think you need to be
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studying it to its integrative like tiny little detail to
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just and again like that word somatic and all that's
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kind of like how deeply can we pull that apart
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before we just accept that it means breathing and anything
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of the body, you know. So I think it's just
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just normalizing all the states of the nervous system more
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than what we do now, especially in a therapeutic sense
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and where it's heading online and the marketing around trauma
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and everything like that, you know, just allowing going like,
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of course, of course you're doing that, but that makes
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completely fucking sense that you're doing that.
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I always feel like, let's help people, and I guess
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I work predominantly with women, but understand like have the
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awareness of flowing in and out.
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Of out of them.
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Yeah, it's like the spectrum of everything instead of just
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reaching for this, because if you've reached for that, you're
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going to be like fairly imbalanced, you know. And also
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it's not possible.
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We'll also just also just you're being balanced just by
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your quest to get there, because you're trying to get somewhere.
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So yeah, I think that, like you said, being able
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to oscillate between the two, and it's just the analogy
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for that that I would prefer to use is like
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a muscle, Like if you're you're trying to tone a muscle,
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it needs to fully be able to relax, and it
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needs to be able to be tightened to tone. So
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if you only just do weights and you never relax,
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you never do yoga or something to stretch it out,
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you're not toning anything. You're just creating bulk tension in
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your muscle, you know. So it's kind of it's same
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internally when I'm working with women. If it's just super tight,
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we want to and all of your arousal and all
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of your orgasm comes from this tense tense tens ten
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tense tense. Okay, we have an orgasm, memory release, nothing
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wrong with that has its place, no shame around that.
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Also good though, to feel that real open, super gentle,
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expansive arousal, you know. And a lot of the time
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what happens is that the more that that becomes familiar
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in that that being able to go between the two,
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feel the difference, and then build your capacity to hold
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that more parasympathetic arousal of that softer, slower opening, more connected,
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more emotional, and therefore I feel spiritual. Most of the time.
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You don't, you don't need to. You don't tend to
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go to the other type as much like your sort
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of your relationship to orgasm or your own masturbation or
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pleasure changes because you're looking for that more deeper, sustainable, nourishing,
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fulfilling experience rather than that quick like okay, get it done.
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And the same applies for men, Like, yes, totally, the
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same applies for men. It's not just a woman thing
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I'm talking about. And a lot of the time as well,
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this is enough things like this whole parasympathetic arousal or
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you know, cervical awakening orgasm. Seeing it's like women are like,
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oh yeah, yeah, and they're like dragging their partners along
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and going like you need to come down this road
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because I need this thing. And but it's not it's
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not just to meet women in a way that benefits
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just them. You know, when when a man takes this
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journey's there's a lot of extra pleasure for him that
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he's probably never accessed before as well, you know, And
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so it's not just a thing that shouldn't be a
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thing that's just led by women and have their partners
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like drag through it and their partners are like, what
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what the hell are you talking about? We've got to
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slow things down, and you know, we need to connect. First,
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I feel like I want to make memes about it,
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you know, like just like funny, just like no, stay there,
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just put your hand there and take ten breasts with me.
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And okay, now, yes you can make you may enter
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me now, you know. I make jokes of it, but
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it's the truth. It's true. Like if that actually happened
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and we actually did take that space, we feel a
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bit dicky or it's like oh my god, fucking like yeah,
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like hurry up, like but so I can take the
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piss out of it. But at the same time, it's
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bloody real. It's like, that's actually what I'm talking about,
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because if if you slow, if both people are curious
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enough and feel deserving enough, like oh, okay, you're telling
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me there's more pleasure I can experience. You're telling me
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that we don't have to fight every like we can
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just lean into this and access this place to be
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intimate with one another. Like, yeah, I'm worthy of that,
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our relationship is worthy of that. You're worthy of that.
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Let's create that together. Then you have something. But a
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lot of the time, unfortunately, it's like it comes with
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a woman realizing there's more, wanting more, and then getting
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harsh around that sometimes like the boundaries will kick in
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really harshly, the entitlement might kick in quite harshly, and
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then so like you don't bring the partner along with you,
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it's like it ends up being like this separate thing
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that it causes conflict and sometimes in the relationship and stuff.
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So it's my job, I feel too as a practitioner,
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especially around that, is to empower the woman and have
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her connect to this part of herself and feel these
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parasympathetic states, but also educate her on how to communicate
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that and invite and inspire a man toward it. Mm hmm,
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because that's a skill in itself.
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Yeah, because it's her journey first, right, and then like
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he can't. It's almost like you know when you go
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and high, like do this thing for me, No, the
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healing is with you, and then you know.
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Yeah, and also too, it's just the way that you communicate,
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Like if you communicate to someone from a place of
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like it's not this is not enough, You're not doing this.
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I need this, you know, and it's like it comes
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it creates that split in that you know, a man
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naturally wants to care, wants to meet, wants to provide,
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so you have to speak to that part of the
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person more, I suppose. And it's a skill. It's not
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something you get right all the time. Even when you
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know what I know, I still don't get it right
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all the day, you know. But it's like it's just
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it's a it's a lifelong cultivation of that of communication
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and of inspiring that polarity between the two two people.
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And I'm speaking, I can tell and I'm noticing I'm
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speaking a lot on relationship, probably because you're in a
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beautiful relationship. I don't know, maybe that's why, but you know,
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you're only mapping. Therapy isn't just for it isn't just
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for people in relationship. I find a lot of the
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time with the people that are dating and single and
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things like that, it just it can help them to
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connect to even know what they want so that sex
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can be become something that's for them, not just to
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please the other or to win someone over, or you know,
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use it as a power method or to to to
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sort of find the place in them that it is
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their true power, which allows them to understand they don't
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need to kind of thing, you know, Like that's a
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huge one also just that ownership of their of their
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fucking desire to have a child. How many times I
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work with younger women and I have to just let
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them just be able to say that they are of
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they're made of that stuff, you know, like they are. Yeah,
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And it doesn't mean that they that they're going to
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be what what the world tells them that they are,
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which is desperate and needy and want to to just
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find anyone to give them a baby or something. No,
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it allows them to have start having a communication with
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their spirit babies. Yeah, that's it. You don't have to
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do anything else. You don't have to manipulate, you don't
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have to do anything. You just have to embody and
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create that relationship that is in ownership of the fact
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that you're a mother before you're a mother exactly.
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And then your spirit help you find the partner because
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they've already chosen you both.
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But also you know you're you're in that relationship with
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it and aligned with it, and you're creating space around
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it and everything like that. So it's kind of like
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you're vulnerable with it.
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And I think that's like, once you admit it, that's
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the frequency you're going to hold. And so that's the
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frequency you're sending out, so you're going to find a partner.
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Yeah, so it's yeah, there's a lot of the time
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they only mapping therapy journey depending on the client, you know,
341
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And it can be, like I said, not about sexuality.
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It can be more about communication and boundaries. It can
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be more about spirit babies. It can be you know,
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healing from trautmare. It can be anticipating birth, preparing so
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many things. It's not And you know, I could work
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with you one day and you come see me two
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or three days later, because you're probably best not to
348
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do it the next day because it takes you on
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a bit of a journey and you will have a
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completely different experience, you know. It's not in saying that though,
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I just feel as a therapist, I think we're all
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very different. And people tend to come with a like
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a readiness to not leave the same in a way
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like they've met, like they're kind of ready to be
355
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facilitated through something.
356
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Oh yeah, so much of it and they even step
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into the room.
358
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Yeah that's try. Yeah, so it's kind of like I'm
359
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just the chosen person to facilitate that. I call it
360
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like the death walk like something's dying and something's being born,
361
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and I just I do that in anyway. I just
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comes at me in all these different ways. So for me,
363
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it's like, if I could just do that for them,
364
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they probably don't need to book in with me once
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every month, you know what I mean. Like, I prefer,
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I prefer to never see them again. I know that
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I've sent them off exactly what they came to me for.
368
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Then then to try and keep them in their story
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and in their experience and like and elong gate that
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out as long as I can so I can get
371
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some more out of them, Like fuck that, I don't
372
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want to see you again. No, I'm joking, I do
373
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want to see you again. I shouldn't say that, But
374
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it's like, you know.
375
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I think sometimes that's a conscious commitment to themselves. Sometimes
376
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I see that as that, whereas if I do this monthly,
377
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it's a check in for me.
378
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That's right.
379
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Sometimes I realize, even with my head sessions, I'm like,
380
00:21:51.440 --> 00:21:53.799
there's nothing for me to even do. It's a conscious
381
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commitment from them, some of them.
382
00:21:56.599 --> 00:21:57.400
Yeah, totally.
383
00:21:58.240 --> 00:22:01.680
Speaking of Bailey, I know that so many women, including myself,
384
00:22:02.160 --> 00:22:05.000
would love to know what does a Yoni mapping session
385
00:22:05.079 --> 00:22:09.720
look like and is it this same as the internal
386
00:22:09.799 --> 00:22:13.200
volver massage? Is that a separate thing? Is it the
387
00:22:13.200 --> 00:22:15.440
same as the pelvic body? Is it all together? Can
388
00:22:15.480 --> 00:22:16.400
you run a start?
389
00:22:17.119 --> 00:22:20.359
Yeah? So, Yony mapping therapy this method that I studied.
390
00:22:21.599 --> 00:22:23.480
I don't know if it still is, but it wasn't
391
00:22:23.519 --> 00:22:25.200
so long ago that it was the only one that
392
00:22:25.359 --> 00:22:28.799
was recognized, like through the ICT, like be able to
393
00:22:28.799 --> 00:22:33.240
get insurance and be recognized as a therapeutic modality because
394
00:22:33.240 --> 00:22:36.319
of its holistic approach. So there's a lot of courses
395
00:22:36.359 --> 00:22:38.559
you can do that on Yoni massage and different things
396
00:22:38.599 --> 00:22:42.160
like that that are a lot of the not all
397
00:22:42.240 --> 00:22:44.279
sexual based, but a lot of the time it's is
398
00:22:44.319 --> 00:22:47.400
that way. It doesn't it doesn't go into, you know,
399
00:22:47.519 --> 00:22:51.599
different parts of pelvic anatomy and even allow you to
400
00:22:52.160 --> 00:22:56.960
really educate people on anatomy or to you know. Sometimes
401
00:22:57.000 --> 00:22:59.920
I'll have a woman that has a certain spot inside
402
00:23:00.079 --> 00:23:03.559
that we're spending time with and creating some I call
403
00:23:03.599 --> 00:23:06.200
it oxygen around and breathing into, and all of a
404
00:23:06.200 --> 00:23:09.720
sudden it will release and it feels like the sideka
405
00:23:10.279 --> 00:23:14.680
spot has been achieved. So it's kind of like she'll
406
00:23:14.759 --> 00:23:19.000
report back to me, Wow, I haven't had that hip pain.
407
00:23:19.039 --> 00:23:20.640
I haven't had that psytaca pain. I haven't had that
408
00:23:20.640 --> 00:23:26.319
lower back pain. So obviously there's pelvic wellness benefits to
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00:23:26.799 --> 00:23:31.319
physical like stuff that's going on, you know, scar tissue stuff,
410
00:23:32.440 --> 00:23:35.480
pelvic alignment stuff like obviously, if you're softening that space
411
00:23:35.519 --> 00:23:40.440
and connecting to that space and putting presence there, the
412
00:23:40.519 --> 00:23:44.319
body is going to respond in a physical way. You know.
413
00:23:44.720 --> 00:23:47.839
Then there's obviously that emotional aside, which we've sort of
414
00:23:47.880 --> 00:23:51.599
touched on where it's like your body is what emotions
415
00:23:51.640 --> 00:23:54.279
are being stored in these places that we don't really
416
00:23:54.359 --> 00:23:57.720
have a relationship with, apart from one that maybe has
417
00:23:57.759 --> 00:24:01.400
to please or impress or you know, just get quick
418
00:24:01.440 --> 00:24:04.160
pleasure from and relief from. When we actually spend time
419
00:24:04.160 --> 00:24:06.680
with what else is there? So it covers that like
420
00:24:07.160 --> 00:24:13.880
physical physicality of the pelvis, but also and that emotional
421
00:24:14.000 --> 00:24:21.039
side and then also that mental I guess conversation with
422
00:24:21.039 --> 00:24:25.960
what beliefs and fears and restrictions and things like that.
423
00:24:25.960 --> 00:24:29.559
It's kind of being protected by by not having a
424
00:24:29.599 --> 00:24:32.559
relationship there. So once we once we turn toward and
425
00:24:32.599 --> 00:24:35.119
go in there, and then and then it's like Okay,
426
00:24:35.960 --> 00:24:39.240
here's here's a layer of something that I've probably just
427
00:24:39.279 --> 00:24:41.680
like danced around for a farewell. But now I'm here
428
00:24:41.759 --> 00:24:47.640
leaning in and going deep into my pelvis. I get it,
429
00:24:47.720 --> 00:24:49.839
Like I know what I'm protecting. Now, I know what
430
00:24:49.880 --> 00:24:52.640
I'm holding, I know why I'm holding it. So I
431
00:24:52.680 --> 00:24:56.039
feel like the medality is different in a sense that
432
00:24:56.400 --> 00:24:58.559
not in a way to compare, but more than just
433
00:24:58.599 --> 00:25:03.880
that it offers such a realistic scope of physical, emotional,
434
00:25:03.960 --> 00:25:04.799
and mental.
435
00:25:05.039 --> 00:25:07.000
It's reminding me of like reflexology.
436
00:25:07.079 --> 00:25:10.960
But like we've been the pretty much. Yeah, that's right.
437
00:25:11.079 --> 00:25:17.559
So yeah, so just yeah, I guess when we learn, well, well,
438
00:25:17.599 --> 00:25:20.799
the modality is not being taught anymore. The teacher didn't
439
00:25:21.720 --> 00:25:26.759
keep creating more more courses for facilitators. So there's in
440
00:25:26.799 --> 00:25:30.279
the specific modality I've learned as I think maybe fifteen
441
00:25:30.279 --> 00:25:32.759
to twenty women around the world that traveled to learn
442
00:25:32.799 --> 00:25:39.160
it over the year that we studied. And yeah, it's
443
00:25:39.880 --> 00:25:45.079
very much and all in one modality, which I think
444
00:25:45.079 --> 00:25:47.319
that's why it's recognized and what was able to be
445
00:25:47.359 --> 00:25:54.519
recognized as a therapeutic modality through the IICT. Yeah, so
446
00:25:54.599 --> 00:25:57.039
it's all the things. I guess was that answering a
447
00:25:57.160 --> 00:25:59.039
question like or you want to know a little bit
448
00:25:59.079 --> 00:26:00.480
more about what happens to session.
449
00:26:00.680 --> 00:26:04.880
So yeah, yeah, women would be like tell us what
450
00:26:05.640 --> 00:26:13.079
And like so many women growing up have been having
451
00:26:13.200 --> 00:26:16.160
you know, sent to the doctor or the gynecologists. And
452
00:26:16.240 --> 00:26:18.720
I feel like women might have this thing of like
453
00:26:20.599 --> 00:26:26.119
just the I'm just seeing this vision of them conditioning
454
00:26:26.160 --> 00:26:28.400
from being in a safe place of being able to
455
00:26:28.480 --> 00:26:30.359
have you know what I mean.
456
00:26:30.799 --> 00:26:33.279
Totally yeah, as soon as someone's even in that area
457
00:26:33.680 --> 00:26:37.519
just sitting there like that, you know, or doctors don't
458
00:26:37.519 --> 00:26:39.640
sit with the way that I probably sit with a woman.
459
00:26:39.759 --> 00:26:45.079
But it's kind of just we've offered ourselves up so
460
00:26:45.200 --> 00:26:51.640
many times for inspections and you know, or for because
461
00:26:52.400 --> 00:26:54.640
a lot of the time some of the most subtle
462
00:26:54.680 --> 00:26:58.119
traumas that happen they're not they're not something that takes
463
00:26:58.240 --> 00:27:01.119
years of PTSD work to get through. It's not like
464
00:27:01.200 --> 00:27:03.119
I'm trying to make out that this is big thing.
465
00:27:03.160 --> 00:27:05.920
But sometimes it's just that acknowledgment, like how many times
466
00:27:05.920 --> 00:27:08.519
I've said yes when I meant no, you know, And
467
00:27:08.640 --> 00:27:11.519
like soon as someone's energy is there with an expectation
468
00:27:11.720 --> 00:27:15.440
or an outcome, like what doesn't matter what that outcome is,
469
00:27:15.440 --> 00:27:17.880
Like they want to get some relief. The doctor wants
470
00:27:17.920 --> 00:27:20.319
to take a test, they want to check your cervice,
471
00:27:20.359 --> 00:27:21.680
they want to do this, they want to have a
472
00:27:21.680 --> 00:27:24.440
look at this. You know, it's just it's just outcome based.
473
00:27:24.440 --> 00:27:26.880
It doesn't matter what that outcome is. But it's just
474
00:27:26.960 --> 00:27:31.920
that pretty much every time your legs are open as
475
00:27:31.960 --> 00:27:34.799
a woman, mostly it's outcome focused.
476
00:27:35.119 --> 00:27:37.119
You're so right, And I think that's how women get
477
00:27:37.119 --> 00:27:39.440
through it mentally, because they're like, I'm doing this for this,
478
00:27:39.559 --> 00:27:43.680
like for this, Yeah, you deny the feeling of like
479
00:27:43.759 --> 00:27:46.359
this doesn't feel right, but like there's an outcome and
480
00:27:46.400 --> 00:27:48.519
there's a reason for it, and so I just shut
481
00:27:48.559 --> 00:27:49.519
off and do it right.
482
00:27:49.920 --> 00:27:52.480
And hence why we don't spend much time there unless
483
00:27:52.480 --> 00:27:54.400
there's an outcome or a reason for it, you know,
484
00:27:54.440 --> 00:27:57.839
because that's what we've been trained. So yeah, so it's
485
00:27:57.920 --> 00:28:02.680
kind of like, you know, it's we will have our
486
00:28:02.920 --> 00:28:05.720
meditation practices, we will have our self care routines, and
487
00:28:05.880 --> 00:28:07.839
some of it some people look like going to the
488
00:28:07.880 --> 00:28:10.079
nails lady or the you know whatever. But it's like
489
00:28:10.160 --> 00:28:12.799
this is a self care routine just to be able
490
00:28:12.839 --> 00:28:15.759
to be there without an outcome that see it just
491
00:28:16.119 --> 00:28:19.039
so I think, yeah, it's like this as soon as
492
00:28:19.079 --> 00:28:20.960
we get to that body work part of the session.
493
00:28:21.599 --> 00:28:23.559
A lot of the time we've just got to just
494
00:28:23.680 --> 00:28:26.160
move through the acknowledgment that this might be the first
495
00:28:26.160 --> 00:28:32.319
time that there's never been an outcome expected. It's huge.
496
00:28:32.359 --> 00:28:35.119
It's huge. It sounds not huge, but it is huge.
497
00:28:35.200 --> 00:28:37.559
And what that just the emotion even that can be
498
00:28:37.599 --> 00:28:41.839
incited from that realization that we're like, what do I do?
499
00:28:41.920 --> 00:28:42.119
Then?
500
00:28:44.920 --> 00:28:48.640
Fucking nervous. I'm fucking nervous now because now what.
501
00:28:48.559 --> 00:28:48.920
Do I do?
502
00:28:49.279 --> 00:28:52.359
You know, like, what are you going? What are you
503
00:28:52.480 --> 00:28:55.880
going to do? Yeah? Exactly, totally yeah, so and and
504
00:28:55.880 --> 00:28:58.200
you know what, and we're cackling now, But that's literally
505
00:28:58.279 --> 00:29:01.599
what it's like. Sometimes through sessions, we're just pissing ourselves
506
00:29:01.680 --> 00:29:04.000
laughing because it's like, oh my god, like I've lost
507
00:29:04.519 --> 00:29:06.400
Like what do I do? So we have to just
508
00:29:06.440 --> 00:29:09.559
like simplify right back down and just take those baby
509
00:29:09.559 --> 00:29:12.640
steps and just breathe and be and just allow that
510
00:29:13.440 --> 00:29:18.039
journey to bring itself through the moment. So you're only
511
00:29:18.079 --> 00:29:23.079
mapping sessions start with talk therapy. So we were taught
512
00:29:23.319 --> 00:29:28.279
to model the gestalt therapy model, the talk therapy model,
513
00:29:28.319 --> 00:29:33.119
which is that reflective listening, speaking back to the person.
514
00:29:33.200 --> 00:29:36.440
So what I'm hearing you express to me sounds like this,
515
00:29:36.640 --> 00:29:39.160
Please tell me. Is that how it is for you?
516
00:29:39.240 --> 00:29:42.799
Like just that reflective listening and helping them expand on
517
00:29:42.960 --> 00:29:46.680
what they're even there for. There's a three or four
518
00:29:46.720 --> 00:29:51.680
page form of just going into everything to contraception, first
519
00:29:51.720 --> 00:29:57.279
experiences of sex births, what they consider sexual trauma. The
520
00:29:57.319 --> 00:30:00.400
amount of times we get to the trial were part
521
00:30:00.440 --> 00:30:02.200
of the form. When I'm going over it with them
522
00:30:03.000 --> 00:30:06.559
and I say, wow, like you've done pretty well to
523
00:30:06.640 --> 00:30:09.480
get through your thirty whatever it is, the years, twenty years,
524
00:30:09.480 --> 00:30:12.480
whatever age it is of life with no real sexual
525
00:30:12.559 --> 00:30:16.000
trauma to put on the form, like that's a beautiful thing,
526
00:30:16.119 --> 00:30:18.400
Like that's so great, all right, I just acknowledge that,
527
00:30:18.480 --> 00:30:20.400
and they go, oh, well there was this one thing
528
00:30:20.640 --> 00:30:23.640
or oh my god, the amount of times that this
529
00:30:24.200 --> 00:30:30.319
severe trauma experience is present doesn't deserve to be on
530
00:30:30.359 --> 00:30:30.759
the form.
531
00:30:31.279 --> 00:30:34.519
Well, I just felt that in my whole body. For women, yeap.
532
00:30:34.839 --> 00:30:37.160
Doesn't deserve to be on the form. It's not notable.
533
00:30:39.000 --> 00:30:41.079
And I'm like, okay, so nothing at all regarding your
534
00:30:41.119 --> 00:30:46.359
birth regarding just being with partners, how it's felt like random,
535
00:30:46.559 --> 00:30:51.319
random things that have happened nothing at all, and they're like, oh, actually,
536
00:30:51.359 --> 00:30:52.839
oh and then this and this, and I'm like okay,
537
00:30:52.920 --> 00:30:54.960
and I don't I'm saying this now that I'm on
538
00:30:54.960 --> 00:30:57.160
the podcast because I'm like almost talking to you, like
539
00:30:57.279 --> 00:31:00.319
my friend, like I can't believe this shit, you know. Yeah,
540
00:31:00.359 --> 00:31:03.079
But in the moment, I'm a little bit more conventionate,
541
00:31:03.720 --> 00:31:08.079
I'm like, you know, okay, let's let's just at least
542
00:31:08.119 --> 00:31:10.680
write it on there just to start. We'll just put
543
00:31:10.680 --> 00:31:13.440
it on there, you know, and like open that conversation
544
00:31:13.559 --> 00:31:17.359
or at least allow that pathway to start. Brand just
545
00:31:17.440 --> 00:31:19.799
be able to be there, just even a tiny bit,
546
00:31:20.000 --> 00:31:23.279
you know, we don't have to go into blaming and
547
00:31:23.279 --> 00:31:27.759
and crazy fucking like stuff around family members and this
548
00:31:27.920 --> 00:31:30.480
and whoever it might be, or we don't even have
549
00:31:30.559 --> 00:31:33.359
to go there. That's why you haven't put it on
550
00:31:33.359 --> 00:31:36.480
the list, because you're avoiding that. So but it still
551
00:31:36.519 --> 00:31:38.400
needs to be on the list, you know. So it's
552
00:31:38.480 --> 00:31:42.759
kind of just that small acknowledgment acknowledgment and a lot
553
00:31:42.759 --> 00:31:44.640
of the time I saw all that's required because then
554
00:31:44.960 --> 00:31:46.799
by the time I get to the somatic side and
555
00:31:46.799 --> 00:31:49.920
the body work side, and and you know that part
556
00:31:49.960 --> 00:31:53.119
of the therapy. If it's got to move, it's gonna move.
557
00:31:54.000 --> 00:31:54.319
We don't.
558
00:31:54.359 --> 00:31:57.440
We don't have to freakin pry it open like with pliers.
559
00:31:57.519 --> 00:32:00.680
You know, it'll just if it's on the list, and
560
00:32:00.720 --> 00:32:04.720
it's a possible thing that can arise. However present I
561
00:32:04.759 --> 00:32:07.440
am with you, and however whatever space we create together,
562
00:32:07.759 --> 00:32:10.480
if it's meant to move, it'll move. If it's meant
563
00:32:10.519 --> 00:32:11.920
to be felt more, it'll be felt more.
564
00:32:12.039 --> 00:32:13.559
At least bring it into the circle.
565
00:32:13.599 --> 00:32:15.680
At least bring it into the circle. Yeah, that's right,
566
00:32:15.720 --> 00:32:19.640
pretty much. Yeah, So the first hour ish, depending on
567
00:32:19.680 --> 00:32:23.279
how the call, the call, sorry, the conversation goes, is
568
00:32:23.359 --> 00:32:30.720
really just that verbal acknowledgment and and space to talk.
569
00:32:30.839 --> 00:32:33.599
So I keep pickupping. I've got this sum I'm going to.
570
00:32:33.599 --> 00:32:35.640
Say to you, do you when you do energy work
571
00:32:35.799 --> 00:32:40.519
or even do you clear with like like a burp,
572
00:32:40.640 --> 00:32:41.839
like an air release, because I do.
573
00:32:42.559 --> 00:32:43.920
Yeah, sometimes I do.
574
00:32:44.440 --> 00:32:50.839
I feel like women, but it's it's small.
575
00:32:50.640 --> 00:32:54.240
Like shaky. So I get it. I get vibe. I
576
00:32:54.319 --> 00:32:57.359
get like a vibration through my solar plexus that comes
577
00:32:57.440 --> 00:33:02.079
up through my throat. Yeah, but I feel I feel
578
00:33:02.279 --> 00:33:06.480
like that first hour sometimes that that's you could almost
579
00:33:06.559 --> 00:33:10.640
go cool sessions over, you know, like it's so potent
580
00:33:11.200 --> 00:33:14.720
Often that that talk therapy and just that space that's
581
00:33:14.759 --> 00:33:19.799
allowed in that first talk therapy segment is kind of like, well,
582
00:33:19.839 --> 00:33:21.759
this should be interesting because I feel like so much
583
00:33:21.920 --> 00:33:24.200
is just cleared, you know, and now we're just getting
584
00:33:24.240 --> 00:33:27.240
to be really present with your body. So because a
585
00:33:27.319 --> 00:33:30.640
lot of it's clear, sometimes it won't clear until we're
586
00:33:30.680 --> 00:33:34.319
on the table and then you know, new things come
587
00:33:34.400 --> 00:33:39.680
in that we didn't even remember, or just more alert,
588
00:33:39.839 --> 00:33:43.079
like the body becomes louder on the table, and then
589
00:33:43.119 --> 00:33:46.440
we can work and process things on the table. Sometimes
590
00:33:46.519 --> 00:33:49.680
it doesn't happen till they've left, and the person doesn't
591
00:33:49.720 --> 00:33:55.079
feel that real safety around that process because they've had
592
00:33:56.480 --> 00:33:59.480
not a lot of experiences of being vulnerable or expressing
593
00:33:59.559 --> 00:34:01.640
themselves or whatnot, So they'll do it in their own
594
00:34:01.680 --> 00:34:04.599
time when they get home. You know. It's really and
595
00:34:04.680 --> 00:34:06.359
that's all part of the conversation and part of the
596
00:34:06.440 --> 00:34:10.360
therapy in offering, but it's just that, Yeah, sometimes all
597
00:34:10.440 --> 00:34:13.800
those segments are necessary to give the woman an opportunity
598
00:34:13.960 --> 00:34:16.320
to move and connect to whatever they need to in
599
00:34:16.400 --> 00:34:18.840
that three hours they're spending money on, you know, and
600
00:34:19.800 --> 00:34:22.800
it's that talk therapy, it's the sematic works. A lot
601
00:34:22.840 --> 00:34:26.320
of the time, that's just me helping them access the cervix,
602
00:34:26.519 --> 00:34:29.400
access that inner world, access their emotions without my touch
603
00:34:29.440 --> 00:34:32.840
at all, because I don't want people to think that
604
00:34:33.199 --> 00:34:35.559
they can only get that from me. They can't get
605
00:34:35.599 --> 00:34:37.119
that from a partner, they can't get that from a
606
00:34:37.159 --> 00:34:39.599
lover of choice that they feel safe with. They can't
607
00:34:39.639 --> 00:34:42.199
get that from themselves or a wand or an egg,
608
00:34:42.840 --> 00:34:43.000
you know.
609
00:34:43.480 --> 00:34:46.079
Is that the anatomy part where they're actually doing that.
610
00:34:46.840 --> 00:34:51.679
No, No, I guide them through visualizations and sensations and
611
00:34:51.719 --> 00:34:54.199
stuff like that through the body, using their emotions and
612
00:34:54.800 --> 00:34:57.519
the energetic side of them, so they can sense these
613
00:34:57.599 --> 00:35:02.840
things and create relationships these things with on an energetic sphere.
614
00:35:03.079 --> 00:35:05.599
So it's like nothing to do with being touched, because
615
00:35:06.199 --> 00:35:08.119
because at the end of the day, no matter what
616
00:35:08.239 --> 00:35:11.000
someone's doing to us, it's like if we're not there,
617
00:35:11.400 --> 00:35:13.800
if we're not moving a step or two toward it,
618
00:35:14.000 --> 00:35:18.639
leaning into it, we're not there, you know, So we're
619
00:35:18.639 --> 00:35:20.760
sort of like it's like I would like to help
620
00:35:20.800 --> 00:35:24.239
people to feel their sexual energy before I even put
621
00:35:24.280 --> 00:35:27.079
my hands there. That to me is the empowering thing
622
00:35:27.199 --> 00:35:29.679
to do. It's I don't want to be the one
623
00:35:29.800 --> 00:35:34.320
doing the thing. I want them feeling the thing, and
624
00:35:34.400 --> 00:35:37.480
then I'm just help there with the thing. So that
625
00:35:37.639 --> 00:35:40.400
a lot of that second segment after the talk therapy
626
00:35:41.480 --> 00:35:46.000
is about that, and also just about getting them feeling
627
00:35:46.119 --> 00:35:49.360
in their body and feeling calmer and or at least
628
00:35:50.280 --> 00:35:53.159
whatever is present can arise kind of thing. It's a
629
00:35:53.239 --> 00:35:56.559
segue into that physical touch. So that can last for
630
00:35:56.760 --> 00:35:59.159
forty five minutes or an hour. It just really takes
631
00:35:59.199 --> 00:36:01.079
its time. It's like it's something that's felt at the
632
00:36:01.159 --> 00:36:03.679
moment when you know that you're the person's ready for
633
00:36:03.800 --> 00:36:09.000
a physical touch. So breast massage, belly massage, breath work,
634
00:36:09.800 --> 00:36:14.920
externallyonly massage, and then the mapping begins when we've received consent.
635
00:36:15.440 --> 00:36:21.800
Consent for me doesn't just happen verbally. It's a feeling.
636
00:36:22.119 --> 00:36:24.719
You can see that, and you can the body is responding.
637
00:36:24.800 --> 00:36:30.079
You can sense that subtle nervous system yes or openness
638
00:36:30.440 --> 00:36:34.880
that is there. It's not it's not something you can
639
00:36:34.960 --> 00:36:38.000
do alone though, because you still need to have that conversation,
640
00:36:38.320 --> 00:36:40.360
because a lot of the time that you can mis
641
00:36:40.960 --> 00:36:43.719
guide that or sense that that is a yes, but
642
00:36:43.760 --> 00:36:45.880
then it's the woman's so used to pretending to be
643
00:36:46.039 --> 00:36:49.760
yes more than that. It's more the consent part is
644
00:36:49.880 --> 00:36:52.480
more than just a physical thing. So I take that
645
00:36:52.599 --> 00:36:54.840
part really slow as well, to the point where a
646
00:36:54.880 --> 00:36:59.000
lot of the time people are encouraged to put my
647
00:36:59.159 --> 00:37:02.000
hand in or ease me in so that they're they're
648
00:37:02.079 --> 00:37:06.320
really encouraged to go slow. So I don't let them
649
00:37:06.360 --> 00:37:09.920
rush that part. It's super important. I was at a
650
00:37:09.960 --> 00:37:17.000
berth not so long ago that was still and after
651
00:37:17.119 --> 00:37:21.039
finding that out, and we're in the hospital and you
652
00:37:21.119 --> 00:37:24.000
know where, we're at a point of inspection. I suppose
653
00:37:24.079 --> 00:37:29.360
we could call it and my client that I was
654
00:37:29.400 --> 00:37:32.519
there for lovely birthing mother called me from across the
655
00:37:32.639 --> 00:37:35.639
room and said, hey, can you please can you help
656
00:37:35.760 --> 00:37:38.400
this moment so that it can be slower or I
657
00:37:38.440 --> 00:37:40.360
can't remember how she asked me to be there, And
658
00:37:40.840 --> 00:37:46.119
the doctor was about to do the inspection, and I said, oh, okay,
659
00:37:46.199 --> 00:37:50.000
I know what she's asking for. Basically, just can we
660
00:37:50.119 --> 00:37:52.599
just stay here a bit? So she said okay, and
661
00:37:53.000 --> 00:37:54.480
so she left her hand on her So I was
662
00:37:54.480 --> 00:38:00.360
watching this doctor, female, beautiful woman, beautiful doctor fully just
663
00:38:01.000 --> 00:38:05.119
be like receptive to whatever was about to happen, and
664
00:38:05.400 --> 00:38:08.920
not always possible in a hospital setting, but this particular
665
00:38:09.960 --> 00:38:13.800
moment was just like, wow, this is huge. So she
666
00:38:13.920 --> 00:38:18.039
put her hand there and she said, can you just
667
00:38:18.679 --> 00:38:23.519
let me take some breaths here? And I said, you're ready,
668
00:38:24.480 --> 00:38:26.960
and you feel like you're ready to be entered, take
669
00:38:27.199 --> 00:38:31.320
a big deep breath, as if to say, okay, come
670
00:38:31.400 --> 00:38:34.039
in me now, I'm ready. So we sat there together.
671
00:38:34.239 --> 00:38:35.880
She put her hand there and they were breathing together,
672
00:38:36.079 --> 00:38:38.559
and then like was sensing her body and sensing her
673
00:38:38.639 --> 00:38:40.760
yes and doing all those things because she's a client
674
00:38:40.800 --> 00:38:42.519
of mine, and she knows how to find that part
675
00:38:42.559 --> 00:38:46.199
of herself. She knows why it's important. And then she
676
00:38:46.480 --> 00:38:48.639
took this big breath and as she took the big breath,
677
00:38:48.920 --> 00:38:52.440
the glove went in and really slowly and obviously with
678
00:38:52.639 --> 00:38:57.480
way more it presents and way more care, and you know,
679
00:38:57.800 --> 00:39:02.239
it just changed everything. Just little things like that. You know,
680
00:39:02.320 --> 00:39:05.480
it just sort of doesn't get the acknowledgment and the
681
00:39:06.360 --> 00:39:11.440
time and you know, just the space around it. Yeah,
682
00:39:11.559 --> 00:39:17.039
so she was just checking dilation and something that didn't
683
00:39:17.320 --> 00:39:20.559
feel I guess it was. I guess it was not
684
00:39:20.639 --> 00:39:22.679
aligned with the original plan. You know, a lot of
685
00:39:22.760 --> 00:39:25.679
time in birth, women really have to move through these
686
00:39:25.800 --> 00:39:28.480
Oh this isn't what. This isn't the plan, This isn't
687
00:39:28.519 --> 00:39:31.159
what I hoped or saw or want, you know. So
688
00:39:31.239 --> 00:39:36.320
there's this beautiful tender spot where they might start feeling
689
00:39:36.360 --> 00:39:38.960
like it's necessary or wanting to do something different, and
690
00:39:40.840 --> 00:39:44.519
there's a space between those two spots that needs to
691
00:39:44.599 --> 00:39:48.960
be nurtured a little bit more and time around it
692
00:39:49.159 --> 00:39:53.440
and vocalizing and tenderness and time and acknowledgment, you know,
693
00:39:53.519 --> 00:39:56.280
so that the woman can arrive at a place of like, Okay,
694
00:39:56.360 --> 00:40:00.519
now this is an empowered decision. Now, how embodied was
695
00:40:00.639 --> 00:40:05.000
my consent? So I think the same with same with
696
00:40:05.039 --> 00:40:08.159
you only mapping It's like, okay, we're about to go
697
00:40:08.400 --> 00:40:11.840
for me outside of your bloody body to inside of it.
698
00:40:11.960 --> 00:40:15.039
That is a big deal, you know, Like, let's not
699
00:40:15.159 --> 00:40:17.760
take that lightly. That sort of feeling, you know, like
700
00:40:17.800 --> 00:40:20.440
I feel like that's in my energy field when I'm facilitating,
701
00:40:21.800 --> 00:40:25.599
Like this isn't small. It's not small, and it's also
702
00:40:25.719 --> 00:40:27.559
not really big to the point where we have to
703
00:40:27.639 --> 00:40:29.280
go and you know, but we just need to find
704
00:40:29.320 --> 00:40:32.519
what it is for us in that moment, really just
705
00:40:32.639 --> 00:40:36.079
find what it is for that individual, you know. So
706
00:40:36.239 --> 00:40:38.679
once we've reached that, we go into mapping. So I
707
00:40:38.760 --> 00:40:43.840
will see it with someone's left out of laber and
708
00:40:44.000 --> 00:40:47.159
do some compression touching there and some light touching there,
709
00:40:47.280 --> 00:40:50.719
some firmer touching there, and just explore one part of
710
00:40:50.840 --> 00:40:54.960
the vulva, just one part, and just be really present
711
00:40:55.000 --> 00:40:59.519
there and just sort of, I guess, start training the
712
00:40:59.639 --> 00:41:02.719
being that's there to know that I could be touching
713
00:41:02.800 --> 00:41:05.079
that elbow and doing the same body thing, you know
714
00:41:05.159 --> 00:41:05.480
what I mean.
715
00:41:07.280 --> 00:41:09.679
You know, even when we speak to our children and
716
00:41:09.840 --> 00:41:15.920
it's like privately, no one touches them. That's for their
717
00:41:16.119 --> 00:41:20.039
safety obviously, But then there becomes this big armor around
718
00:41:20.599 --> 00:41:21.199
our body.
719
00:41:22.440 --> 00:41:24.599
And that's only because we miss out the other part
720
00:41:24.679 --> 00:41:27.679
of that conversation, which is being able to be present
721
00:41:27.760 --> 00:41:30.760
there and spend time there and feel the pleasure and
722
00:41:30.880 --> 00:41:33.320
feel the sensations and feel the yes and you know,
723
00:41:33.480 --> 00:41:36.719
so if we miss that part of the conversation out, yeah,
724
00:41:36.760 --> 00:41:38.880
we create that armor because we don't allow it to
725
00:41:38.920 --> 00:41:39.239
be there.
726
00:41:39.519 --> 00:41:44.679
So many women, the disconnection has been a safety So
727
00:41:45.440 --> 00:41:49.320
what's the issue The safety part, like you're saying, yeah.
728
00:41:49.480 --> 00:41:53.519
So then once we create that, just like every spot,
729
00:41:53.880 --> 00:41:56.760
I feel like it gets an acknowledgment, it gets some time,
730
00:41:57.119 --> 00:42:00.159
it gets reflective space of like, wow, that's interesting. Can
731
00:42:00.199 --> 00:42:02.920
feel the left side more than the right side? Oh
732
00:42:03.039 --> 00:42:08.559
how interesting? You know. It's just a curious present opportunity
733
00:42:08.719 --> 00:42:11.360
to be with the body and in that tiny little
734
00:42:11.440 --> 00:42:16.199
piece of skin, you know, and then normalize that and
735
00:42:16.280 --> 00:42:18.519
then go from there to the next part and then
736
00:42:18.559 --> 00:42:20.440
the next part. And we're on this guided tour and
737
00:42:20.519 --> 00:42:23.159
we're on this tour and we're like, oh, look there's
738
00:42:23.199 --> 00:42:26.639
the mountains in Mexico and there you know what I mean,
739
00:42:26.840 --> 00:42:29.840
Like it's just this like super guided to it. But
740
00:42:30.480 --> 00:42:32.719
the thing is is, because it's there's physical touch and
741
00:42:32.760 --> 00:42:35.760
there's sensation happening and response is happening in the body,
742
00:42:36.880 --> 00:42:39.400
I then I have to help facilitate that. So if
743
00:42:39.599 --> 00:42:41.920
it's like in a lot of the time when we're
744
00:42:42.000 --> 00:42:45.559
internal and it's not there's not a lot of arousal
745
00:42:45.599 --> 00:42:47.920
on pleasure going on, it's just fucking painful and there's
746
00:42:48.039 --> 00:42:51.800
just tears and it's just hurt, you know, and like
747
00:42:53.400 --> 00:42:58.159
that's there can be big release. I suppose opportunity there.
748
00:42:58.320 --> 00:43:02.320
But also sometimes it's not feeling like the right thing either.
749
00:43:02.440 --> 00:43:05.559
It's like I just that's the part of the body
750
00:43:05.599 --> 00:43:07.719
that just is trying to protect itself and just wanting
751
00:43:07.760 --> 00:43:11.480
to get away and things. So if I can, I
752
00:43:11.559 --> 00:43:15.960
will try and encourage a little bit more presence and
753
00:43:16.000 --> 00:43:20.639
embodiment through visualization or through breath or through something to
754
00:43:20.800 --> 00:43:24.840
just help them just to relate to that sensation a
755
00:43:24.920 --> 00:43:27.840
little bit longer, or just for at least just at all,
756
00:43:28.079 --> 00:43:32.519
you know, before we go sort of throwing the baby
757
00:43:32.519 --> 00:43:34.559
out with the bathwater feeling of like just like ah,
758
00:43:35.320 --> 00:43:37.559
you know, this is frustrating, or this doesn't I'm supposed
759
00:43:37.559 --> 00:43:40.239
to feel pleasure. I'm not feeling pleasure, or it's just
760
00:43:40.719 --> 00:43:45.320
it's just like a just one more breath, just say hello,
761
00:43:46.280 --> 00:43:49.079
Maybe just smile inside a little bit now and just
762
00:43:49.119 --> 00:43:52.760
say hello even you know, or we're going to be
763
00:43:52.840 --> 00:43:57.159
going away from this spot now, so before we do
764
00:43:58.719 --> 00:44:01.159
open every cell of your body and receive every little
765
00:44:01.159 --> 00:44:02.599
bit of medicine it has to give you before we
766
00:44:02.639 --> 00:44:06.239
say goodbye. It's just I've got to encourage more in
767
00:44:06.400 --> 00:44:09.239
each moment. But the important thing is that they get
768
00:44:11.079 --> 00:44:16.480
conversed with and spoken to throughout the whole thing because
769
00:44:17.079 --> 00:44:19.559
I don't want And that's something that was drummed into
770
00:44:20.239 --> 00:44:24.840
me by my educator and that I've seen in the
771
00:44:25.039 --> 00:44:28.320
hundreds of women. What even though you've lost count now
772
00:44:28.599 --> 00:44:31.639
of watching, how important that is because otherwise they're laying
773
00:44:31.639 --> 00:44:33.960
there having this thing done to them. I'm not going
774
00:44:34.039 --> 00:44:36.519
to take you on it, and you just close your
775
00:44:36.559 --> 00:44:39.360
eyes the whole time and turn Yeah, yeah, totally put
776
00:44:39.400 --> 00:44:41.079
a blindfold on you and close your eyes and just
777
00:44:41.159 --> 00:44:43.559
have you you know, like I want you there.
778
00:44:44.159 --> 00:44:46.519
Yeah, Because like how many times have women been in
779
00:44:46.639 --> 00:44:49.199
that position and something's happening to them for the outcome
780
00:44:49.320 --> 00:44:52.400
like you said, and yeah, you're going I'm gonna, god,
781
00:44:52.400 --> 00:44:53.960
what are they doing next? What are they doing next?
782
00:44:54.039 --> 00:44:56.000
Are they going to? Like you? Yeah?
783
00:44:56.079 --> 00:44:56.800
That's so important.
784
00:44:57.239 --> 00:45:00.920
On the rare occasion there's a disempower woman who's not
785
00:45:02.639 --> 00:45:05.119
who potentially the right thing for her in that moment
786
00:45:05.360 --> 00:45:09.039
is to just try and like find some pleasure, you
787
00:45:09.119 --> 00:45:13.760
know what I mean. Like it's just whether it's after
788
00:45:13.880 --> 00:45:17.880
grief or just feeling disconnected from her sexuality that she
789
00:45:18.039 --> 00:45:20.360
knows she has in her and once had, or you know,
790
00:45:20.519 --> 00:45:23.480
so sometimes it's like it's not. I'm not there to control.
791
00:45:23.679 --> 00:45:25.599
Like I if I feel like that's where the energy
792
00:45:25.639 --> 00:45:27.199
is going, I'm not going to sit there and stop it,
793
00:45:27.239 --> 00:45:28.719
you know what I mean? Like it feels like that's
794
00:45:28.719 --> 00:45:30.719
where it's going, but I'm not. I don't, I don't
795
00:45:30.719 --> 00:45:35.599
want to be. It's sort of the experience itself, like
796
00:45:35.760 --> 00:45:38.960
that's got to be something that's already flowing and growing
797
00:45:39.079 --> 00:45:42.840
in her, and I have to not intervene and interject
798
00:45:42.920 --> 00:45:45.000
and thinking that's not the most empowering thing for her
799
00:45:45.039 --> 00:45:49.119
in that moment, Maybe it fucking is. So yeah, that's right.
800
00:45:49.199 --> 00:45:51.840
So I've got to find my place, you know, and
801
00:45:52.000 --> 00:45:54.639
be humbled in that knowing my place. It's not me,
802
00:45:55.000 --> 00:45:56.320
it's not what I think.
803
00:45:57.039 --> 00:45:59.760
I think that is blowing. Does that mean that some
804
00:45:59.840 --> 00:46:03.400
women are experiencing an orgasm on the table in your presence?
805
00:46:03.559 --> 00:46:06.039
And then yeah, definitely. But a lot of the time,
806
00:46:06.079 --> 00:46:11.519
I would say nine of a time they experience experiencing
807
00:46:11.559 --> 00:46:15.039
an type of orgasm that have not had, So it's
808
00:46:15.119 --> 00:46:20.000
not like they've gone very rarely. There'll be that the
809
00:46:20.239 --> 00:46:23.519
kind of familiar pleasure most of the time, and even
810
00:46:23.559 --> 00:46:25.920
if that exists, actually a lot of the time they've
811
00:46:25.920 --> 00:46:29.960
still experienced new pathways, even in a small level, which
812
00:46:30.000 --> 00:46:32.559
is really beautiful because that's like this the start of
813
00:46:32.679 --> 00:46:36.079
something else, you know, like a new journey. But a
814
00:46:36.119 --> 00:46:39.199
lot of the time, yeah, that's right, the kind of
815
00:46:39.400 --> 00:46:46.360
pleasure experienced is more because it's such a slow, long,
816
00:46:47.119 --> 00:46:53.159
centered present process. It's like that rarely or if ever happens.
817
00:46:53.320 --> 00:46:55.280
You know, for a lot of women that come along
818
00:46:55.320 --> 00:46:57.559
to you only mapping, they've never been spent the time
819
00:46:57.679 --> 00:47:01.599
with like that or being touched that pace before, you know.
820
00:47:02.079 --> 00:47:04.000
And it's not so much that I'm doing anything articular.
821
00:47:04.000 --> 00:47:07.039
I don't have like this fancy skill set. It's the presence.
822
00:47:07.480 --> 00:47:13.400
It's that just being so. I mean, you know, there's
823
00:47:13.440 --> 00:47:16.719
certain parts throughout that internal mapping where I might say, okay,
824
00:47:16.760 --> 00:47:18.519
I could move my hand right now, I feel like
825
00:47:18.599 --> 00:47:21.880
you're relaxed. If they're clenching and they're not right, like
826
00:47:22.000 --> 00:47:24.480
I've got to stop, We've got to stop. But we
827
00:47:24.519 --> 00:47:27.400
don't stop with like oh we're failing. We stop because
828
00:47:27.400 --> 00:47:31.639
it's like, great, here's an opportunity, here's an opportunity, like
829
00:47:31.719 --> 00:47:34.800
what is here? Stay curious, you know, and then once
830
00:47:34.840 --> 00:47:37.559
I feel like there's that space in their system again
831
00:47:38.239 --> 00:47:40.920
and around my hand again. Yeah, sure, I might say, okay,
832
00:47:40.960 --> 00:47:44.320
I might move my fingers in this gentle, slow way.
833
00:47:44.679 --> 00:47:46.400
Does that feel okay with you? Or would you prefer
834
00:47:46.480 --> 00:47:48.280
me to move it this way? So I might give
835
00:47:48.280 --> 00:47:51.079
a few options and relax back into the stroke of
836
00:47:51.159 --> 00:47:54.320
the meditation of that being with the only again, you know,
837
00:47:54.599 --> 00:47:56.920
like sort of similar to saying, you know, do you
838
00:47:56.960 --> 00:47:58.880
want me to message you lower back like this or
839
00:47:58.960 --> 00:48:00.760
do you prefer it like this? You know, So we
840
00:48:00.880 --> 00:48:03.079
just sort of connect back in on that level just
841
00:48:03.159 --> 00:48:06.159
to get through a moment, and then usually again there'll
842
00:48:06.159 --> 00:48:08.880
be another expensive process that might come, whether it be
843
00:48:08.920 --> 00:48:11.920
an emotional release or more pleasure. Who knows it can
844
00:48:12.000 --> 00:48:13.880
go any which way and there's no right or wrong.
845
00:48:13.960 --> 00:48:17.880
Really, so incredible? Are you not the ultimate space holder
846
00:48:18.039 --> 00:48:22.320
to be with all when she's experiencing that both pleasure
847
00:48:22.440 --> 00:48:24.840
and pain? And that is the true nature of a healer?
848
00:48:25.360 --> 00:48:25.519
Right?
849
00:48:26.519 --> 00:48:30.199
Well? Yeah, I guess so I'll take your beautiful compliment.
850
00:48:30.519 --> 00:48:35.159
I don't know how I find I just because really,
851
00:48:35.519 --> 00:48:38.639
to me, I haven't done my job unless that person
852
00:48:39.000 --> 00:48:41.000
knows that they are the ultimate healer, do you know
853
00:48:41.039 --> 00:48:44.360
what I mean? Like, I just don't feel like I'm well,
854
00:48:44.400 --> 00:48:46.840
I guess what I mean is holding the space for
855
00:48:47.000 --> 00:48:47.800
that to be possible.
856
00:48:47.920 --> 00:48:53.559
Many women would feel such comfort around you know, even
857
00:48:53.599 --> 00:48:58.199
that style of therapy, but it's so incredible and safe
858
00:48:58.480 --> 00:49:01.519
and nurturing and reconnecting her to herself.
859
00:49:01.639 --> 00:49:04.559
It's so beautiful. Yeah, I feel like what I love
860
00:49:04.599 --> 00:49:08.360
the two about it is like I feel I don't
861
00:49:08.400 --> 00:49:11.480
know whether it just it's just been this feeling in me,
862
00:49:11.599 --> 00:49:15.079
like since I studied. It was twenty seventeen, I think, yeah,
863
00:49:15.280 --> 00:49:17.320
when that year was when I did that study, and
864
00:49:17.360 --> 00:49:20.400
I could feel already because I'd worked in the minds before,
865
00:49:20.519 --> 00:49:23.480
I've lived in all these different places. I'm like a
866
00:49:23.559 --> 00:49:27.199
bit of an I'm a feminine woman, but I'm also
867
00:49:27.559 --> 00:49:30.599
I'm a bit both. Like I've got this like balance energy,
868
00:49:30.599 --> 00:49:32.199
and I thought, you know what, I want to take
869
00:49:32.280 --> 00:49:34.320
this work to the common woman. I don't want this
870
00:49:34.480 --> 00:49:38.519
to be what people think that, you know, any sort
871
00:49:38.519 --> 00:49:41.440
of expansion through your sexuality has to go through the
872
00:49:41.480 --> 00:49:46.440
realms of tantra and just like goddess energy and this
873
00:49:46.599 --> 00:49:48.920
and that and whatever. It's like, fuck, it does not,
874
00:49:49.199 --> 00:49:51.920
it's you know, Yeah, I really wanted to kind of
875
00:49:53.119 --> 00:49:55.920
appeal to or have the modality itself appeal to the
876
00:49:56.000 --> 00:49:59.679
common woman, because that, to me is my I always
877
00:50:00.079 --> 00:50:02.920
feel as a human, not just since the Only Mapping Therapy,
878
00:50:03.000 --> 00:50:05.599
but just in any type of part of my life,
879
00:50:05.639 --> 00:50:11.519
I'm always trying to bring the common woman, or you know,
880
00:50:11.679 --> 00:50:13.519
even at school, it was like the person who's not
881
00:50:13.679 --> 00:50:15.480
really that popular and I bring them into sit with
882
00:50:15.559 --> 00:50:18.039
the popular kids, or you know, as I'm always trying
883
00:50:18.039 --> 00:50:21.119
to like weave and integrate people together and to have
884
00:50:21.239 --> 00:50:24.079
everybody feel the humanness of each other and to be
885
00:50:24.159 --> 00:50:26.519
able to connect on that level. And I feel like
886
00:50:26.639 --> 00:50:31.840
with the Only Mapping Therapy, I get excited to offer
887
00:50:32.719 --> 00:50:36.639
someone who wouldn't even consider themselves a sexual being, who's
888
00:50:36.679 --> 00:50:39.880
completely disconnected from there at all, to find out that
889
00:50:39.960 --> 00:50:42.400
they are. But they just don't get what they bloody need.
890
00:50:42.920 --> 00:50:44.760
They just don't get touched in the way they need,
891
00:50:44.920 --> 00:50:46.920
or they just don't get to have their emotions be
892
00:50:47.000 --> 00:50:49.880
part of it, or they haven't connected to their energy
893
00:50:50.079 --> 00:50:53.840
type of their sexuality there has nothing to do with touch. Yeah,
894
00:50:54.039 --> 00:50:58.039
just kind of allowing it to be integrated into what
895
00:50:58.679 --> 00:51:00.719
we're referring to as the common wae woman. I mean
896
00:51:01.480 --> 00:51:04.480
just yeah, just like you don't have to look a
897
00:51:04.559 --> 00:51:07.800
certain way, be a certain way, act a certain way,
898
00:51:07.880 --> 00:51:10.679
say the right things, use the right language on your posts,
899
00:51:10.800 --> 00:51:12.960
and you in your world and like to even be
900
00:51:14.639 --> 00:51:17.559
even aligned or even like like I said, in a
901
00:51:17.599 --> 00:51:23.440
relationship single, there's no framework that says, okay, that person's
902
00:51:23.519 --> 00:51:26.159
ready for that kind of modality. You know, like it's
903
00:51:26.360 --> 00:51:29.719
you're a human being, you have a volver. You are
904
00:51:30.119 --> 00:51:36.239
emotional by nature, You're kind of born worthy of pleasure
905
00:51:37.679 --> 00:51:41.960
and greatness, and the nature that is outside of us
906
00:51:42.079 --> 00:51:46.360
is inside you. So you know, let's go swim through
907
00:51:46.440 --> 00:51:50.000
your waters and climb your mountains and you know, stump
908
00:51:50.079 --> 00:51:55.559
in your mud and explore, like what's there. There's pretty
909
00:51:55.639 --> 00:51:58.199
much any every every woman on the planet, that every
910
00:51:58.280 --> 00:52:01.199
volver owned on the planet. There is something there for
911
00:52:01.320 --> 00:52:06.079
them to experience. And how that then, let's say, like
912
00:52:06.280 --> 00:52:10.840
ripples out into their world is phenomenal. You see it
913
00:52:10.960 --> 00:52:12.719
all the time, you know, like someone come to you
914
00:52:12.840 --> 00:52:14.000
for one thing, but then all of a sudden, this
915
00:52:14.079 --> 00:52:15.719
part of their life will improve and you'll be like,
916
00:52:15.800 --> 00:52:18.679
oh wow, they might not be seeing the reference point,
917
00:52:19.199 --> 00:52:21.360
but I feel like I've just seen enough to see
918
00:52:21.440 --> 00:52:26.079
that ripple, like like wow, that's there's more it's more
919
00:52:26.239 --> 00:52:30.320
vast and expansive than what we think, you know, to
920
00:52:30.440 --> 00:52:33.159
be spending time with people in that way and the
921
00:52:33.239 --> 00:52:37.239
effects and the way that that just moves itself into
922
00:52:37.280 --> 00:52:39.440
the world. Like you were saying with energy healing, it's
923
00:52:39.519 --> 00:52:42.519
like it's not even our energy. It's a bigger it's
924
00:52:42.599 --> 00:52:45.519
much bigger than that. So you sort of do see
925
00:52:45.559 --> 00:52:47.880
that with that only mapping therapy as well. It's like
926
00:52:48.000 --> 00:52:50.840
it's not even yours or me or this or that.
927
00:52:50.920 --> 00:52:54.280
It's like it's this conduit, that portal that just gets
928
00:52:54.360 --> 00:52:58.000
open for life itself to kind of come through.
929
00:52:59.360 --> 00:53:03.679
Feel like that is the person this conversation. Wow, that's
930
00:53:03.719 --> 00:53:06.639
so powerful. Imagine I mean this is how this is
931
00:53:06.679 --> 00:53:10.199
where I go and this is probably my Aquarius South note.
932
00:53:10.280 --> 00:53:14.559
But imagine if every single woman was connected to that,
933
00:53:14.880 --> 00:53:17.119
and then what that opens within her in terms of
934
00:53:17.199 --> 00:53:21.599
intuition and mothering and and how that would change the collective.
935
00:53:21.760 --> 00:53:23.639
And I see the I see it, I see the
936
00:53:24.280 --> 00:53:26.599
micro and the macro. Absolutely yeah.
937
00:53:26.639 --> 00:53:29.360
And it doesn't change it from a place of like
938
00:53:30.199 --> 00:53:34.480
the argument between feminine and feminism, and it could change
939
00:53:34.519 --> 00:53:38.400
it from inspiration like it's like it leads like the
940
00:53:38.719 --> 00:53:43.840
whole feminine doesn't lead. Masculine leads bullshit, No way, the
941
00:53:43.920 --> 00:53:46.320
feminine leads too because if the feminine is connected in
942
00:53:46.400 --> 00:53:51.440
that inspires leaderships. It is leadership and it inspires other
943
00:53:51.480 --> 00:53:54.960
people to follow that energy. So it's yeah, so it's
944
00:53:55.039 --> 00:53:59.000
kind of that macro is that it's it's inspire inspiring
945
00:53:59.599 --> 00:54:00.719
the men too.
946
00:54:01.159 --> 00:54:02.960
And then it always goes back and forth. They have
947
00:54:03.079 --> 00:54:05.880
their different ways too. I love that so much.
948
00:54:06.360 --> 00:54:07.039
Yeah, that's it.
949
00:54:07.760 --> 00:54:09.119
Thank you so much.
950
00:54:09.599 --> 00:54:10.320
This is welcome.
951
00:54:10.480 --> 00:54:12.679
This has been such a great chat. This is awesome.
952
00:54:12.760 --> 00:54:15.079
I know that. Yeah, my community is going to love
953
00:54:15.119 --> 00:54:17.920
this and everything that you have to share. So yeah,
954
00:54:17.960 --> 00:54:19.719
I'm going to put all of your links and all
955
00:54:19.760 --> 00:54:22.199
of your yeah, your beautiful healing center and all of
956
00:54:22.280 --> 00:54:24.239
your offerings in the show notes.
957
00:54:24.440 --> 00:54:27.360
Yeah, sure, thank you. That'd be lovely. So I see
958
00:54:27.440 --> 00:54:30.559
people in the in the north, well we'll call it
959
00:54:30.639 --> 00:54:33.480
the mid North New South Wales Coast, but mostly people
960
00:54:33.679 --> 00:54:36.400
visit me here or I travel within this like immediate
961
00:54:36.719 --> 00:54:37.800
New South Wales Coast.
962
00:54:38.400 --> 00:54:41.000
Thank you so much, Hailey, it's been it's been so
963
00:54:41.119 --> 00:54:41.920
great chatting to you.
964
00:54:42.639 --> 00:54:43.400
Thanks for having me