Mastering High-Functioning ADHD with Dr. Michael Mantz M.D.

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It's a spectrum, and it's highly genetic, too.
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So there is a lot of arguments going on.
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That ADHD has some evolutionary benefits.
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When we were hunter and gatherers,
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the idea of being novelty-seeking,
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being distractable, but being able to be hyper-vigilant,
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taking in mostly very sensitive to the world.
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Most people want the familiar.
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They want the same routine, you know, the thing is,
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they don't want to venture out into the unknown.
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But when you're hunter-gatherers,
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after the resources have been depleted,
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you need to have some people who are willing to go
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to the unknown territory.
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Well, it makes sense that we would have a portion
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of the population that would have these characteristics.
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One of the things I've observed with people
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with high functioning ADHD, it is a genius gene.
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I see the creativity in the go-gettiness,
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and I see it a lot in working with entrepreneurs.
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There's always trade-offs.
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In one area, it could be seen as a disorder or problem,
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but in another area, it leaves room for this other capacity
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that actually might be a superpower and gift.
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I'm excited to have my friend, Dr. Michael Mann's join us.
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He is a board-certified psychiatrist,
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and has a master's in herbalism,
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which has got me super stoked about working with him.
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I've referred some clients to him that were, you know,
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ones that I thought needed a little bit more mastery,
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and so I wanted to invite Dr. Mann
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to come have a conversation with me tonight.
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Awesome, I'm so excited.
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Yeah, I know.
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That's a beautiful set, too.
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Thank you.
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So do you remember, like, one of the first coffees
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that we had kind of funny to be because we're seeing
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they're talking, I think it's one of those things
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that a lot of people probably are afraid of,
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like, when they find out, like, what we do for a living,
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that you're a psychiatrist, so I'm a psychotherapist.
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Yep.
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That they're like, were you gonna see me?
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Yep.
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Exactly.
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And I wasn't afraid, but at some point,
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I think it might have been our second coffee.
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You were like, oh, you know, because you have ADHD,
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and I was like, what?
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You know that?
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Because I had self-diagnosed aid or nine years ago,
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shortly after becoming a clinician,
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and a lot of that for me was just watching a lot
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of my higher functioning ADHD clients,
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clients that had ADHD, I should say,
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and realizing that they didn't realize they had it,
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but I was able to diagnose it just by some of their behaviors,
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but it was really hard to diagnose
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because it's not what a lot of people think about or hear,
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but as I was observing them,
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I started going, wait a minute, I think I have it.
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And I had had many clinicians in several years
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of doing my own therapy,
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and not one clinician had ever diagnosed me with ADHD.
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And then, but when I started going back
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and realizing, you know, oh, some of the things I would do
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when I was like a teenager, go over to my dad's house,
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his wife, she'd recognized patterns where I'd come in,
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and I'd like set my phone here and set my keys there,
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and set my wallet over here to where she was waiting
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at the door, like, here are all your items,
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and she's left around the house, right?
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And if somebody had like, you know,
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thought more about what could this be,
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that I could have been diagnosed in a much earlier age.
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But what was super important for me
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about this conversation is because there are a lot of information,
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a lot of podcasts out there about ADHD,
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but where I really see it, which is sort of my own experience,
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and I think it'd be interesting to share
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about what you observed and what your own experience is,
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with high functioning ADHD,
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because we hear some of the scariest cases,
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or difficult cases like from school, you know,
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with kids and how hard it is for them,
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but I haven't had that experience with it.
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Well, I wonder when you found out for yourself,
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because I myself had a similar path,
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where you would think, you know,
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you're being trained in psychology,
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and I'm being trained in psychiatry and psychology,
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and then you would think we would actually be able to know.
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And then all the time is, but it's always that rule,
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like it's so close that you're just blinded to your own self.
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And then, you know, I often, because myself,
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I'd self-diagnosed in my 40s,
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so having gone through that whole scenario.
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So yeah, with, you know, the whole ADHD
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and coming around to it, it can be super helpful,
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because once you start to understand what ADHD is about,
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and that's actually a hard thing to do,
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because it's not a, like, a clear, clean concept.
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And I think people are still arguing about it a lot right now,
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but it could be a very helpful tool
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to know what the basic essentials are.
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And I think, hopefully, we'll be exploring that today,
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and how, for instance, one thing that we know about ADHD
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is not related to IQ.
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Mm-hmm.
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So it's not related to IQ.
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There are people who are low IQ with ADHD.
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There are people who are high IQ,
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are either ADHD, they're like,
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people like even like Leonardo da Vinci,
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I thought they've had ADHD.
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So it's the whole spectrum,
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but this high functioning ADHD,
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which we're kind of focusing on today,
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is a very interesting group,
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because I think also, in some ways,
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we could put ourselves in that equation ourselves,
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and with that knowledge that we learned in our 40s,
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how could we reply that earlier?
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Could that have helped us?
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Because you know, and I know,
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when you do self-reflection once you have that diagonal,
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you're like, oh, it made so much sense
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about some of the struggles.
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That's right.
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And some of the self-doubt.
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And that's my experience with it for myself.
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I've had clients who, when I diagnosed them,
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that's the experience that they had.
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But there are also other clients that I was like,
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I think they have ADHD,
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but I could tell they're gonna be more sensitive to that,
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and higher functioning,
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but sensitive to the idea of it.
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And so for me, as a clinician,
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I don't know if you find this,
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but I have to sort of kind of take my intuition
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and play with how are they gonna feel about knowing this
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and still share it with them in a time that's timely,
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in a way that's gentle, right?
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Because for some of them, it is very,
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and I don't know if it's a misnomer that's out there
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about it, but it's very scary for some people
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to have that label.
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Sure.
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And I think, well, I think we have a slightly different experience
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because of you being a therapist
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and I'm being a psychiatrist.
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So a lot of times I'm getting people coming in already,
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thinking in the medical model.
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That's fair.
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You have that little more trickier
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because you're just seeing someone who may be coming in
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for certain, just like Adam does not feeling so well.
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Not necessarily looking for a diagnosis.
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That's right.
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Oftentimes when you're seeing a doctor like myself,
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there are looking for a diagnosis
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or something or what it's going on,
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but I like, I think what we're hinting at too, though,
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is that how does a person utilize a diagnosis?
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Is it useful or do they make it a label
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and stick it on to their identity?
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Yeah.
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That's where I often have a conversation
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if I believe I'm going to diagnose somebody
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and I got a book.
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Sorry, yeah.
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That's the great outdoors, I'm going to see you, though.
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That was perfect.
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It was actually a little B. It was interesting.
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So I guess you wanted to make it nest in my head.
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Or so, anyway, then of course then
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that diverts me off my attention, so.
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Hello, ladies.
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Can you get me back on track?
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Yeah.
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So with the labeling of the ADHD
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and how one would utilize it is that, you know,
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in any of the psychiatric diagnosis that we have,
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they're not diseases.
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They're quote unquote disorders,
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which means that we see these cluster of symptoms
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and they have this sort of like they kind of come together
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and if you match a certain number,
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it usually means that we can provide these type of treatments.
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Now, it's also notable the worth that are DSM-5.
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Yes.
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That's like our Bible for the disorders
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and how to kind of treat people.
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Exactly.
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It's like the book you go to to get
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all the like art.
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Does this match this criteria to get that diagnosis?
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Well, it's interesting.
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No, that most of the psychiatrists that write that novel
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are also funded by the pharmaceutical industry.
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Yes.
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So we have these perverse incentives.
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And again, even with people who are conscientious
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and they think they're not going to be biased,
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it's unconsciously.
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We know psychology.
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For sure.
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If you're going to have money in that direction,
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you're going to have more of a leaning in that direction.
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So there's this tendency to pathologize.
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Yep.
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So there's a lot of things that may not be pathological.
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Totally agree with you.
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So because the way the mind works is there's always trade-offs.
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In one area, it could be seen as a disorder or problem.
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But in another area, it leaves room for this other capacity
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that actually might be a superpower or a gift.
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So that's really how you want to look at this.
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And I don't know about you, but that's
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like experience with ADHD.
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I mean, I feel in some ways it feels like a gift.
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It's certainly there are areas when I move to Montecito.
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I lost my property, check on the beach, I lost my keys,
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I lost my wallet because I was in transition
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and didn't have a system.
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Oh, yeah, that's the four transitions or the worst.
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They're awful.
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And so I was out of my routine and I didn't have one yet.
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But so, yes, but for the most part,
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one of the things I've observed with a lot of people
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with high functioning ADHD or even with people with ADHD
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that have really good systems in place
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and learn how to work it, it is like a genius gene.
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There's a spectrum of like, I see the creativity
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in the go-gettiness and it's like I see it a lot
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in working with entrepreneurs, right?
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And so I, to hear people have like a struggle as a label,
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I'm always like, oh, wow, okay, I gotta be mindful of that
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because that is not my relationship with ADHD
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and not what I often see in the population that I work with,
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which is that higher functioning, higher performing type
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of individual.
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So I think that's such an important piece of information.
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Absolutely.
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Yeah, no, there's no doubt.
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And I think that's why with each person,
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you want to see what it is.
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And actually, oftentimes I don't even have to give a diagnosis.
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I'll just say like, hey, you're having some problems
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with your attention or you're having problems
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with your ability to regulate your emotions
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in certain ways.
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So we could just break it down
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and just talk about the actual areas of the brain
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where the person is having the issue with.
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Now, we could cluster it together
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and say if you have this cluster, it's called ADHD.
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If you want to have that, but not looking for it away.
261
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Whatever is worse, because I'm here for the patient.
262
00:09:58.480 --> 00:10:01.240
And we have to meet the person, as you know,
263
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where they're at.
264
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And sometimes we may have to hold off on something like that.
265
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But sometimes if we educate appropriately,
266
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I think most people won't see it as a stigma.
267
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And I think things like this
268
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and us having this conversation
269
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and people who have ADHD, we can destigmatize it
270
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and de-pathologize.
271
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There are obviously, again, like autism, it's a spectrum.
272
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Yeah, agreed, 100%.
273
00:10:26.080 --> 00:10:29.000
And so you're going to have, and it's highly genetic, too.
274
00:10:29.000 --> 00:10:31.240
So there is a lot of arguments going on
275
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and that ADHD has maybe potentially
276
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some evolutionary benefits
277
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that when we were hunter and gatherers,
278
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you know, the idea of being novelty-seeking
279
00:10:40.200 --> 00:10:42.480
and wanting to be, and being distractable,
280
00:10:42.480 --> 00:10:44.480
but being able to be hyper-vigilant,
281
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taking in were mostly very sensitive to the world.
282
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And so all the senses coming in.
283
00:10:48.680 --> 00:10:51.840
So when we were hunters and gatherers, perhaps,
284
00:10:51.840 --> 00:10:54.600
people with ADHD type qualities,
285
00:10:54.600 --> 00:10:56.160
most people want the familiar.
286
00:10:56.160 --> 00:10:58.400
They want the same routine, you know, the thing,
287
00:10:58.400 --> 00:11:00.560
they don't want to venture out into the unknown.
288
00:11:00.560 --> 00:11:02.800
But when your hunter gatherers after the resources
289
00:11:02.800 --> 00:11:04.840
have been depleted, you have scarce.
290
00:11:04.840 --> 00:11:06.600
You need to have some people who are willing to go
291
00:11:06.600 --> 00:11:10.240
to the unknown territory, and they're moving their bodies a lot
292
00:11:10.240 --> 00:11:11.280
and doing all that stuff.
293
00:11:11.280 --> 00:11:13.560
Well, it makes sense that we would have a portion
294
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of the population that would have these characteristics.
295
00:11:17.080 --> 00:11:20.240
And so now, obviously, if it goes higher and higher
296
00:11:20.240 --> 00:11:23.280
to the extreme, it could become more pathologic.
297
00:11:23.280 --> 00:11:26.400
But when we come back here and off of this matched,
298
00:11:26.400 --> 00:11:27.840
because it's not poorly with IQ,
299
00:11:27.840 --> 00:11:31.080
but if it's matched with a higher IQ,
300
00:11:31.080 --> 00:11:32.440
what happens is that most of us,
301
00:11:32.440 --> 00:11:34.520
and I'm sure you can relate to this,
302
00:11:34.520 --> 00:11:36.560
is that one of the big things with ADHD
303
00:11:36.560 --> 00:11:40.080
is that it's hard to focus on things you're not interested in.
304
00:11:40.080 --> 00:11:41.200
That was in percent, right?
305
00:11:41.200 --> 00:11:44.120
That's one of the biggest things,
306
00:11:44.120 --> 00:11:44.960
or whatever it was,
307
00:11:44.960 --> 00:11:46.200
whether you're being taught in school,
308
00:11:46.200 --> 00:11:49.400
you're like, oh my god, it's hard to stay focused.
309
00:11:49.400 --> 00:11:51.600
But then some of us, you know, who have the capacity
310
00:11:51.600 --> 00:11:52.720
to kind of say, you know what, well,
311
00:11:52.720 --> 00:11:55.240
how can I trick myself into getting,
312
00:11:55.240 --> 00:11:57.320
but getting interested in this?
313
00:11:57.320 --> 00:11:59.400
And because you realize that's the magic sauce,
314
00:11:59.400 --> 00:12:01.600
and you can come up with ways that way.
315
00:12:01.600 --> 00:12:02.840
Like when I was in medical school,
316
00:12:02.840 --> 00:12:04.920
we were learning microbiology,
317
00:12:04.920 --> 00:12:07.240
and they're teaching you all these little proteins
318
00:12:07.240 --> 00:12:09.280
that all the little bacteria and viruses,
319
00:12:09.280 --> 00:12:12.400
stuff that you know you're never gonna use again,
320
00:12:12.400 --> 00:12:13.840
unless you're a microbiologist.
321
00:12:13.840 --> 00:12:16.040
Like if there's no need to have all that stuff.
322
00:12:16.040 --> 00:12:19.200
So I'm like, how the hell am I gonna memorize all this stuff?
323
00:12:19.200 --> 00:12:20.640
Because brute force memorization,
324
00:12:20.680 --> 00:12:22.000
I had to understand it,
325
00:12:22.000 --> 00:12:23.800
but now you're given this really,
326
00:12:23.800 --> 00:12:26.480
no other way, but the brute force memorization.
327
00:12:26.480 --> 00:12:28.400
So I just, my trick was like,
328
00:12:28.400 --> 00:12:31.200
I'm gonna imagine that my father's about to die
329
00:12:31.200 --> 00:12:33.440
from some weird virus.
330
00:12:33.440 --> 00:12:34.400
And I just put myself in character.
331
00:12:34.400 --> 00:12:35.240
It is, sorry.
332
00:12:35.240 --> 00:12:37.240
And then, yes, I've created narrative.
333
00:12:37.240 --> 00:12:38.240
So then I can just get it,
334
00:12:38.240 --> 00:12:40.120
and I need to learn microbiology,
335
00:12:40.120 --> 00:12:42.200
the better than anyone, you know,
336
00:12:42.200 --> 00:12:44.080
so that got like my interest going,
337
00:12:44.080 --> 00:12:46.080
and I would do that and play like characters
338
00:12:46.080 --> 00:12:47.320
and do little tricks like that.
339
00:12:47.320 --> 00:12:49.160
And I think that's what some of us who are on,
340
00:12:49.160 --> 00:12:53.080
who were more high functioning are able to kind of look at,
341
00:12:53.080 --> 00:12:55.440
like all right, then we can take that interest issue
342
00:12:55.440 --> 00:12:58.480
that it's hard to kind of get over the home.
343
00:12:58.480 --> 00:13:02.240
And to interest, you can learn tricks to get you into that.
344
00:13:02.240 --> 00:13:04.040
So that's, yeah, game of vocation, right?
345
00:13:04.040 --> 00:13:04.880
Absolutely.
346
00:13:04.880 --> 00:13:07.240
I mean, that's just like something that I still do today,
347
00:13:07.240 --> 00:13:08.920
where I'm like, how can I make a game out of it?
348
00:13:08.920 --> 00:13:10.560
Like, I wanna bet.
349
00:13:10.560 --> 00:13:11.400
What's the bet?
350
00:13:11.400 --> 00:13:12.240
Exactly.
351
00:13:12.240 --> 00:13:14.760
If I will get through some of the most arduous boring things,
352
00:13:14.760 --> 00:13:15.800
hanging wallpaper,
353
00:13:15.800 --> 00:13:17.440
no, I've never actually done that myself.
354
00:13:17.440 --> 00:13:18.600
Now I'm gonna win that bet.
355
00:13:18.640 --> 00:13:20.200
That just makes more fun for me.
356
00:13:20.200 --> 00:13:21.040
Absolutely.
357
00:13:21.040 --> 00:13:21.880
Yeah.
358
00:13:21.880 --> 00:13:23.240
Oh, I do things that I time myself.
359
00:13:23.240 --> 00:13:24.560
Can I do that in five minutes?
360
00:13:24.560 --> 00:13:25.560
Can I do this?
361
00:13:25.560 --> 00:13:26.560
I do this.
362
00:13:26.560 --> 00:13:27.760
Did they do that kind of well?
363
00:13:27.760 --> 00:13:28.720
It's like, all right.
364
00:13:28.720 --> 00:13:30.360
And that's why I just think, I love that.
365
00:13:30.360 --> 00:13:32.320
That's the way, like if you face with a challenge,
366
00:13:32.320 --> 00:13:33.960
make it a game, points and whatever,
367
00:13:33.960 --> 00:13:35.120
however you wanna do that,
368
00:13:35.120 --> 00:13:37.440
because there is some relationship.
369
00:13:37.440 --> 00:13:39.960
Again, some people, there's a lot of argumentation
370
00:13:39.960 --> 00:13:41.040
in regards to ADHD,
371
00:13:41.040 --> 00:13:43.400
because in itself, it's still kind of a gray area,
372
00:13:43.400 --> 00:13:45.960
exactly what is it totally encapsulate.
373
00:13:45.960 --> 00:13:47.720
But one of the things that we've seen,
374
00:13:47.720 --> 00:13:49.520
and I, I at least seen clinically,
375
00:13:49.520 --> 00:13:52.120
and that is that there's the idea like,
376
00:13:52.120 --> 00:13:55.680
for instance, like extroverts need more social connection
377
00:13:55.680 --> 00:13:56.520
than an introvert.
378
00:13:56.520 --> 00:13:57.360
For sure.
379
00:13:57.360 --> 00:13:58.360
The introverts still need it,
380
00:13:58.360 --> 00:14:00.080
but extroverts need more.
381
00:14:00.080 --> 00:14:00.920
Right.
382
00:14:00.920 --> 00:14:02.480
So that's that kind of built into their temperament.
383
00:14:02.480 --> 00:14:04.000
And so with ADHD,
384
00:14:04.000 --> 00:14:07.760
one of the ideas sort of espoused by Yacht Panks up
385
00:14:07.760 --> 00:14:10.400
was that the idea that we would actually need
386
00:14:10.400 --> 00:14:12.320
maybe more play.
387
00:14:12.320 --> 00:14:15.600
There's this basic primary emotion that all mammals have.
388
00:14:15.600 --> 00:14:17.320
We have seven primary emotions,
389
00:14:17.320 --> 00:14:19.520
according to Yacht Panks' literature,
390
00:14:19.520 --> 00:14:21.040
and that one of them is play.
391
00:14:21.040 --> 00:14:23.360
We see dogs playing with each other, cats,
392
00:14:23.360 --> 00:14:25.080
playing with each other, all this kind of stuff.
393
00:14:25.080 --> 00:14:26.560
So we like to play.
394
00:14:26.560 --> 00:14:29.240
And you could imagine that there's a spectrum
395
00:14:29.240 --> 00:14:31.120
of need for play.
396
00:14:31.120 --> 00:14:32.560
And what we see with ADHD,
397
00:14:32.560 --> 00:14:33.760
and I actually see this,
398
00:14:33.760 --> 00:14:35.120
and I've actually used play,
399
00:14:35.120 --> 00:14:36.680
and that's why I think even though
400
00:14:36.680 --> 00:14:38.320
it may not correlate with like,
401
00:14:38.320 --> 00:14:40.320
one of the ways that some of the other doctors were saying
402
00:14:40.320 --> 00:14:43.720
was that maybe they were deprived of play,
403
00:14:43.720 --> 00:14:46.120
but I think it's actually a higher need of play.
404
00:14:46.120 --> 00:14:48.240
And if the culture is not built around that,
405
00:14:48.240 --> 00:14:50.640
if you have to sit still for eight hours a day,
406
00:14:50.640 --> 00:14:51.640
you have to do all those kind of things
407
00:14:51.640 --> 00:14:54.960
when we're natively wanting to be moving our bodies,
408
00:14:54.960 --> 00:14:56.680
well now you make that person sit still.
409
00:14:56.680 --> 00:14:57.520
That's right.
410
00:14:57.520 --> 00:14:58.680
And we call it hyperactivity.
411
00:14:58.680 --> 00:14:59.520
Yeah, right.
412
00:14:59.520 --> 00:15:01.240
I'm not saying there's some hyperactivity
413
00:15:01.240 --> 00:15:03.160
that literally is a brain issue.
414
00:15:03.160 --> 00:15:04.000
Sure, sure.
415
00:15:04.000 --> 00:15:05.720
But there are times when that hyperactivity,
416
00:15:05.720 --> 00:15:07.360
when we're talking about that spectrum cutoff,
417
00:15:07.360 --> 00:15:09.840
where that hyperactivity, if you exercise,
418
00:15:09.840 --> 00:15:11.920
if you did things that were got your body moving,
419
00:15:11.920 --> 00:15:14.440
and you played, you wouldn't feel it.
420
00:15:14.440 --> 00:15:15.280
Yeah.
421
00:15:15.280 --> 00:15:17.280
I love the point that just because, you know,
422
00:15:17.280 --> 00:15:19.240
the high functioning piece of ADHD
423
00:15:19.240 --> 00:15:21.360
does not mean high IQ necessarily.
424
00:15:21.360 --> 00:15:23.200
But when you have those two things together,
425
00:15:23.200 --> 00:15:25.520
it can be sort of like really fun and off the charts.
426
00:15:25.520 --> 00:15:28.160
It sounds like, but take me back to what it is
427
00:15:28.160 --> 00:15:31.760
about people that may have a higher functioning ADHD
428
00:15:31.760 --> 00:15:32.600
versus people who don't.
429
00:15:32.600 --> 00:15:33.440
How does that happen?
430
00:15:33.440 --> 00:15:34.440
Right?
431
00:15:34.440 --> 00:15:35.280
From the seed I said,
432
00:15:35.280 --> 00:15:37.800
and I would think of it more of like an adaptation,
433
00:15:37.800 --> 00:15:38.960
like a coping mechanism,
434
00:15:38.960 --> 00:15:40.200
but I know there are a myriad of ways
435
00:15:40.200 --> 00:15:41.200
that we can get ADHD,
436
00:15:41.200 --> 00:15:43.000
but for the higher functioning,
437
00:15:43.000 --> 00:15:45.440
how do you, how do you make sense of that?
438
00:15:45.440 --> 00:15:47.520
I think there's different types of ADHD.
439
00:15:47.520 --> 00:15:48.720
It depends on who you're talking to.
440
00:15:48.720 --> 00:15:51.160
Like, you know, the DSM5 just has the different
441
00:15:51.160 --> 00:15:52.960
that there's an inattentive type.
442
00:15:52.960 --> 00:15:53.800
Right.
443
00:15:53.800 --> 00:15:55.200
And then the hyperactive impulsivity,
444
00:15:55.200 --> 00:15:57.680
dominant type, and then the combined type.
445
00:15:57.680 --> 00:15:59.480
But there are other people out there,
446
00:15:59.480 --> 00:16:01.840
like just got to name and has seven different types,
447
00:16:01.840 --> 00:16:04.400
which I found it's somewhat useful to use some of his kind of
448
00:16:04.400 --> 00:16:07.000
things like the anxious type, the over focused type.
449
00:16:07.000 --> 00:16:10.040
So there's these other kind of ways of breaking it down.
450
00:16:10.040 --> 00:16:11.960
And I also think it's a matter of degree.
451
00:16:11.960 --> 00:16:13.880
What we notice is that when people with ADHD,
452
00:16:13.880 --> 00:16:15.880
they're inattentive to a lot of things that, you know,
453
00:16:15.880 --> 00:16:17.480
obviously things that are boring and things
454
00:16:17.480 --> 00:16:21.000
that they can easily bore and they eat in new stimulation.
455
00:16:21.000 --> 00:16:22.200
But there are certain things that,
456
00:16:22.200 --> 00:16:23.920
when they're really interested in,
457
00:16:23.920 --> 00:16:26.680
they can like video games,
458
00:16:26.680 --> 00:16:28.800
or just something that you just love a book.
459
00:16:28.800 --> 00:16:30.320
Like I know sometimes I read a book,
460
00:16:30.320 --> 00:16:32.280
like it was like the call of the wild, I remember.
461
00:16:32.280 --> 00:16:34.320
I just started reading, I got absorbed in Zoom,
462
00:16:34.320 --> 00:16:35.880
I'm done with the book by the end of the day.
463
00:16:35.880 --> 00:16:38.080
I just went, I spent the whole day just reading it.
464
00:16:38.080 --> 00:16:38.920
For sure.
465
00:16:39.080 --> 00:16:41.640
What happens is that certain people might have fallen upon,
466
00:16:41.640 --> 00:16:43.280
where does it lead us to stray?
467
00:16:43.280 --> 00:16:46.040
You know, where, like, hey, one of the things is that we tend
468
00:16:46.040 --> 00:16:48.240
to have not so great short-term memories.
469
00:16:48.240 --> 00:16:49.240
You know, sometimes you'd be like,
470
00:16:49.240 --> 00:16:50.680
all right, I'm gonna go look for my keys
471
00:16:50.680 --> 00:16:52.040
and you go to the next room.
472
00:16:52.040 --> 00:16:53.040
And then you're like,
473
00:16:53.040 --> 00:16:53.880
what am I here for?
474
00:16:53.880 --> 00:16:54.880
Yeah.
475
00:16:54.880 --> 00:16:56.720
Don't even get me started on the computer.
476
00:16:56.720 --> 00:16:57.560
Yeah.
477
00:16:57.560 --> 00:16:58.560
Because the computer, right,
478
00:16:58.560 --> 00:16:59.800
you'll go and do something in my email,
479
00:16:59.800 --> 00:17:01.280
but then I'll get like some sort of pop up,
480
00:17:01.280 --> 00:17:02.440
or come up, or something.
481
00:17:02.440 --> 00:17:04.160
And I'll just go, wait, wait, what?
482
00:17:04.160 --> 00:17:05.320
And I'll get down that rabbit hole.
483
00:17:05.320 --> 00:17:08.480
I mean, the computer is like where we need some systems
484
00:17:08.480 --> 00:17:09.320
in place.
485
00:17:09.320 --> 00:17:12.120
Oh, absolutely, phones, computers, notifications off.
486
00:17:12.120 --> 00:17:12.960
Yeah.
487
00:17:12.960 --> 00:17:14.680
Do not disturb, like, on myself,
488
00:17:14.680 --> 00:17:16.600
because that will divert my attention.
489
00:17:16.600 --> 00:17:18.280
Again, there are different people,
490
00:17:18.280 --> 00:17:21.080
other people, they're okay, getting interrupted in there.
491
00:17:21.080 --> 00:17:23.360
And they just like the constant new stimulus,
492
00:17:23.360 --> 00:17:25.560
new stimulus, other people like myself.
493
00:17:25.560 --> 00:17:27.360
If I'm on task and something comes in,
494
00:17:27.360 --> 00:17:28.880
it feels like a noxious.
495
00:17:28.880 --> 00:17:30.120
It feels uncomfortable.
496
00:17:30.120 --> 00:17:30.960
Really?
497
00:17:30.960 --> 00:17:31.960
Like in your body, it feels like.
498
00:17:31.960 --> 00:17:33.160
Yeah, it's like a ding.
499
00:17:33.160 --> 00:17:34.560
It's like, I just got cattle prod.
500
00:17:34.560 --> 00:17:35.400
Oh, wow.
501
00:17:35.400 --> 00:17:38.440
Noticing that, it's like when I know I need a certain task,
502
00:17:38.880 --> 00:17:41.320
I tell, like my wife and everything,
503
00:17:41.320 --> 00:17:43.400
when I close this door and we make that pack,
504
00:17:43.400 --> 00:17:46.320
like I'll just locked in for the next couple of hours or so.
505
00:17:46.320 --> 00:17:49.040
The key is to learn what works for you
506
00:17:49.040 --> 00:17:51.480
and really make your environment work for that.
507
00:17:51.480 --> 00:17:54.360
Because I think ADHD, when you're faced with a challenge,
508
00:17:54.360 --> 00:17:56.320
usually I try to think about free buckets
509
00:17:56.320 --> 00:17:57.520
in a way to organize it.
510
00:17:57.520 --> 00:17:59.760
It's like, maybe there's new knowledge you need to learn.
511
00:17:59.760 --> 00:18:02.160
Maybe there are some new skills you need to practice
512
00:18:02.160 --> 00:18:04.040
because that obviously requires you to be a fool
513
00:18:04.040 --> 00:18:04.880
before the master.
514
00:18:04.880 --> 00:18:07.800
And you have to keep applying it until you get the skill.
515
00:18:07.840 --> 00:18:09.480
And then you have your resources.
516
00:18:09.480 --> 00:18:11.160
You know, whether that's going to a therapist
517
00:18:11.160 --> 00:18:12.960
or getting a coach of some sort,
518
00:18:12.960 --> 00:18:16.080
but I think this is the key area that for ADHD,
519
00:18:16.080 --> 00:18:17.760
if you think about it, if we were the ones
520
00:18:17.760 --> 00:18:19.040
that were the novelty seeking,
521
00:18:19.040 --> 00:18:21.040
we're going to need that person that loves
522
00:18:21.040 --> 00:18:23.640
to get into knitting gritty details and all that kind of stuff.
523
00:18:23.640 --> 00:18:24.680
We're going to need that.
524
00:18:24.680 --> 00:18:27.160
So we have to be willing and not feel like
525
00:18:27.160 --> 00:18:28.320
there's a deficit in ourselves
526
00:18:28.320 --> 00:18:30.400
just because we're not good at that stuff.
527
00:18:30.400 --> 00:18:33.000
That we can actually find someone who's good at that stuff.
528
00:18:33.000 --> 00:18:37.560
And I think the high function people get that idea of delegation.
529
00:18:37.560 --> 00:18:41.040
And or have the resources to delegate that's also another area
530
00:18:41.040 --> 00:18:43.080
and not feel like I have to be ashamed
531
00:18:43.080 --> 00:18:45.200
because I suck at this particular area.
532
00:18:45.200 --> 00:18:47.280
So it's a little bit of grace for ourselves
533
00:18:47.280 --> 00:18:50.280
that it sounds like that maybe even if someone doesn't know
534
00:18:50.280 --> 00:18:52.560
that they have a high functioning ADHD,
535
00:18:52.560 --> 00:18:55.520
maybe some of the telltale signs might be something like
536
00:18:55.520 --> 00:18:57.400
where you are willing to delegate,
537
00:18:57.400 --> 00:19:01.760
but you maybe what's the why behind the delegation, right?
538
00:19:01.760 --> 00:19:04.400
How else might someone who hasn't been diagnosed
539
00:19:04.400 --> 00:19:05.840
with high functioning ADHD?
540
00:19:05.840 --> 00:19:07.840
How else would we diagnose them
541
00:19:07.840 --> 00:19:09.480
with the possibility of having it?
542
00:19:09.480 --> 00:19:12.480
I know for me some of that is time blindness, right?
543
00:19:12.480 --> 00:19:14.400
I can get so like, oh, I've got 15 minutes
544
00:19:14.400 --> 00:19:17.160
and I start this project and then the next thing I know I'm running late
545
00:19:17.160 --> 00:19:20.000
because I'm just super, you know, ready to just go, go, go.
546
00:19:20.000 --> 00:19:22.240
And I used to consider that ambitious
547
00:19:22.240 --> 00:19:23.920
and I might still say that it's ambition,
548
00:19:23.920 --> 00:19:27.360
but I also it's like I was part of part of the game.
549
00:19:27.360 --> 00:19:30.120
How much can I get done before I actually need to go
550
00:19:30.120 --> 00:19:31.480
but then I got super involved.
551
00:19:31.480 --> 00:19:33.760
So little everyday things like that,
552
00:19:34.080 --> 00:19:35.680
I'd like to explore a little bit more.
553
00:19:35.680 --> 00:19:39.000
How else could someone recognize some of the signs
554
00:19:39.000 --> 00:19:41.600
that they are maybe higher functioning
555
00:19:41.600 --> 00:19:45.480
but might have ADHD and why should they care
556
00:19:45.480 --> 00:19:47.040
if they are a higher functioning?
557
00:19:47.040 --> 00:19:48.400
It's been successful.
558
00:19:48.400 --> 00:19:50.200
One of the things that most people could do
559
00:19:50.200 --> 00:19:52.000
is that if they have this sort of intuition
560
00:19:52.000 --> 00:19:53.760
starting to build up as we're talking about,
561
00:19:53.760 --> 00:19:55.520
these different characters and then sort of reckon,
562
00:19:55.520 --> 00:19:58.560
oh yeah, I get that, you know, pay attention to that.
563
00:19:58.560 --> 00:20:00.640
I always tell my patients to pay attention
564
00:20:00.640 --> 00:20:02.080
to when your body interjects.
565
00:20:02.080 --> 00:20:05.560
That's that awe or you're not controlling that.
566
00:20:05.560 --> 00:20:08.720
That's like a tell tale that your body says,
567
00:20:08.720 --> 00:20:10.320
yes, pay attention to that
568
00:20:10.320 --> 00:20:12.320
because that's really telling you something.
569
00:20:12.320 --> 00:20:14.240
And then I would just suggest if you think so,
570
00:20:14.240 --> 00:20:17.240
just start writing down your pain points.
571
00:20:17.240 --> 00:20:18.800
What frustrates you?
572
00:20:18.800 --> 00:20:20.120
Or your partner's pain points.
573
00:20:20.120 --> 00:20:20.960
Yes.
574
00:20:20.960 --> 00:20:21.920
Because I partied like squirrel
575
00:20:21.920 --> 00:20:24.320
because I'll start one conversation and then next,
576
00:20:24.320 --> 00:20:25.920
he's like, where did that just go?
577
00:20:25.920 --> 00:20:26.840
Hello, come back.
578
00:20:26.840 --> 00:20:29.160
What are the repeating patterns in your life
579
00:20:29.160 --> 00:20:31.440
that are a bit a little annoying,
580
00:20:31.440 --> 00:20:33.880
frustrating both for you and those around you?
581
00:20:33.880 --> 00:20:34.720
That's right.
582
00:20:34.720 --> 00:20:36.560
And I think that would get you,
583
00:20:36.560 --> 00:20:38.920
once you make that list, you can really see,
584
00:20:38.920 --> 00:20:41.240
and then you get your competitors to see,
585
00:20:41.240 --> 00:20:42.400
oh, did I agree?
586
00:20:42.400 --> 00:20:43.240
Yes.
587
00:20:43.240 --> 00:20:45.160
Okay, I think that's actually the easiest.
588
00:20:45.160 --> 00:20:47.720
That makes such great sense.
589
00:20:47.720 --> 00:20:50.200
So, you know, I work with a lot of entrepreneurs
590
00:20:50.200 --> 00:20:52.400
or in that space or becoming entrepreneurs
591
00:20:52.400 --> 00:20:54.680
or people who have built companies and whatnot.
592
00:20:54.680 --> 00:20:56.040
So both of us have a background
593
00:20:56.040 --> 00:20:58.320
in substance use disorder and working in treatment as well.
594
00:20:58.840 --> 00:21:00.520
I actually started going down this rabbit hole
595
00:21:00.520 --> 00:21:02.320
for my doctorate because I noticed
596
00:21:02.320 --> 00:21:04.640
in working with the treatment population,
597
00:21:04.640 --> 00:21:08.280
they're sort of carrying very similar traits
598
00:21:08.280 --> 00:21:11.080
as people who are working as entrepreneurs and founders.
599
00:21:11.080 --> 00:21:12.840
And I started doing the research like,
600
00:21:12.840 --> 00:21:15.200
what is the similarity?
601
00:21:15.200 --> 00:21:17.240
And I think a lot of what I'm seeing
602
00:21:17.240 --> 00:21:20.400
is certainly sort of that almost impulsivity,
603
00:21:20.400 --> 00:21:24.360
we cannot rush more, so higher risk taking,
604
00:21:24.360 --> 00:21:27.320
certainly higher novelty seeking similarity.
605
00:21:27.320 --> 00:21:28.160
All of that.
606
00:21:28.160 --> 00:21:30.120
And in the literature, when we look at like
607
00:21:30.120 --> 00:21:33.120
the personality traits, you know, extroversion,
608
00:21:33.120 --> 00:21:36.600
they tend to be, most people tend to lean towards extroversion,
609
00:21:36.600 --> 00:21:38.440
they tend to be less agreeable.
610
00:21:38.440 --> 00:21:39.280
So like, you know.
611
00:21:39.280 --> 00:21:41.720
What are the issues that they have more extroversion?
612
00:21:41.720 --> 00:21:42.560
Correct.
613
00:21:42.560 --> 00:21:44.400
Yes, there's a tendency towards extroversion,
614
00:21:44.400 --> 00:21:46.640
there's a tendency to greater openness.
615
00:21:46.640 --> 00:21:48.160
So thinking of new ideas,
616
00:21:48.160 --> 00:21:49.320
things seeing different ways,
617
00:21:49.320 --> 00:21:51.280
because one of the interesting things about ADHD
618
00:21:51.280 --> 00:21:54.640
is that we tend to have a spidey sense.
619
00:21:54.640 --> 00:21:57.240
A lot of us have either heightened visual sense,
620
00:21:57.240 --> 00:21:59.520
auditory sense, smells and are actually,
621
00:21:59.520 --> 00:22:02.080
that's one of the reasons why we have trouble attending is
622
00:22:02.080 --> 00:22:04.640
because we have the gates, the attention,
623
00:22:04.640 --> 00:22:07.040
a lot of people can just block it and it's easy
624
00:22:07.040 --> 00:22:08.920
for a lot of us in different ways.
625
00:22:08.920 --> 00:22:10.920
It could be sounds that drive us nuts,
626
00:22:10.920 --> 00:22:13.200
it could be the textures that drive us nuts,
627
00:22:13.200 --> 00:22:15.960
like we have to cut tags in our, you know, in our shirt.
628
00:22:15.960 --> 00:22:17.720
So everyone, it could be a little bit different,
629
00:22:17.720 --> 00:22:20.560
but like there's just this intensity of sensation
630
00:22:20.560 --> 00:22:22.920
that goes on where we have to deal with
631
00:22:22.920 --> 00:22:26.800
how to focus in that and that could be very, very tricky.
632
00:22:27.520 --> 00:22:30.200
But what we were talking about too with that is just
633
00:22:30.200 --> 00:22:33.720
how a lot of people go into entrepreneurship or addiction
634
00:22:33.720 --> 00:22:35.440
and the similarities in that.
635
00:22:35.440 --> 00:22:39.000
But from my experience in working in both, frankly,
636
00:22:39.000 --> 00:22:42.360
it is a lot to do with the novelty seeking tolerance
637
00:22:42.360 --> 00:22:45.720
for risk and there's, it's like a lot of creativity.
638
00:22:45.720 --> 00:22:48.120
So like the extroversion, the willingness will go out there
639
00:22:48.120 --> 00:22:51.040
to openness to new ideas, novelty seeking
640
00:22:51.040 --> 00:22:54.120
and also they tend to thrive in chaos, right?
641
00:22:54.120 --> 00:22:55.720
And so that unpredictable environment,
642
00:22:55.720 --> 00:22:58.240
you know, like you go in there and that unpredictable nature
643
00:22:58.240 --> 00:23:01.280
of starting a company is like, it's thrilling.
644
00:23:01.280 --> 00:23:02.120
Yeah, it's thrilling.
645
00:23:02.120 --> 00:23:03.720
Why do you think it is that we,
646
00:23:03.720 --> 00:23:05.680
because I am, I'm like, when there is chaos,
647
00:23:05.680 --> 00:23:07.800
when should hits the fan, I'm your girl,
648
00:23:07.800 --> 00:23:09.440
I'm gonna hold it down.
649
00:23:09.440 --> 00:23:11.600
What do you think it is about ADHD
650
00:23:11.600 --> 00:23:14.440
that is about that driving in chaos?
651
00:23:14.440 --> 00:23:15.280
Yeah, I do.
652
00:23:15.280 --> 00:23:16.120
What is it?
653
00:23:16.120 --> 00:23:19.840
Well, we do know that like it takes a little bit more
654
00:23:19.840 --> 00:23:22.320
of that oomph, it's like you, within that chaos
655
00:23:22.320 --> 00:23:24.800
is like you took the perfect stimulant.
656
00:23:26.000 --> 00:23:28.520
You just took the perfect stimulant and your brain's now
657
00:23:28.520 --> 00:23:31.000
in that hypermo, and your boobs,
658
00:23:31.000 --> 00:23:34.680
your whole attention bandwidth is on one thing.
659
00:23:34.680 --> 00:23:37.480
And I remember I was, I was emergency room tech
660
00:23:37.480 --> 00:23:39.960
and I had anxiety, like a decent amount of anxiety.
661
00:23:39.960 --> 00:23:41.920
However, when we would get trauma ones
662
00:23:41.920 --> 00:23:44.440
and they would call me because I was this big guy,
663
00:23:44.440 --> 00:23:47.440
I had to be the one when they, when they helicopter people
664
00:23:47.440 --> 00:23:49.480
in there to get on top and do the chest compression.
665
00:23:49.480 --> 00:23:50.320
Okay.
666
00:23:50.320 --> 00:23:51.920
On there, like it's very nerve wracking
667
00:23:51.920 --> 00:23:53.960
and then you had to do like get a blood pressure.
668
00:23:54.040 --> 00:23:55.400
Sometimes you had to do it like reading
669
00:23:55.400 --> 00:23:56.680
with all this other stuff.
670
00:23:56.680 --> 00:24:00.480
But in that moment, it was easy.
671
00:24:00.480 --> 00:24:02.600
I had no anxiety at all.
672
00:24:02.600 --> 00:24:05.360
One of the trickier parts too though is, you know,
673
00:24:05.360 --> 00:24:09.280
is the idea of like giving you your own natural stimulant,
674
00:24:09.280 --> 00:24:11.760
which is through stress, like stressing,
675
00:24:11.760 --> 00:24:16.400
like using anxiety as a driver to get you off your ass
676
00:24:16.400 --> 00:24:19.520
to do the procrastinating thing that you've been pushing off.
677
00:24:19.520 --> 00:24:20.360
Yes.
678
00:24:20.360 --> 00:24:22.520
Now, whatever is the dominant emotion
679
00:24:22.520 --> 00:24:26.040
that makes you do something or decides something,
680
00:24:26.040 --> 00:24:28.640
you doing that action or making that decision
681
00:24:28.640 --> 00:24:33.440
reinforces that emotion to come more frequently in your life.
682
00:24:33.440 --> 00:24:38.240
So if you make anxiety, your thing to drive you,
683
00:24:38.240 --> 00:24:41.560
just know you're making sure guaranteed
684
00:24:41.560 --> 00:24:43.520
that the anxiety is getting stronger.
685
00:24:43.520 --> 00:24:45.720
So you're firing, you're wiring it.
686
00:24:45.720 --> 00:24:46.560
Yeah.
687
00:24:46.560 --> 00:24:49.760
So that's why I try to get people to look for their pulls.
688
00:24:49.760 --> 00:24:51.960
Like what is it that pulls you forward?
689
00:24:51.960 --> 00:24:55.360
It inspires you, curiosity, love, those kind of things.
690
00:24:55.360 --> 00:24:58.400
And starting to get away from the conditioning
691
00:24:58.400 --> 00:25:00.560
because we all kind of used it as kids
692
00:25:00.560 --> 00:25:02.280
with to get us to get that project done
693
00:25:02.280 --> 00:25:04.760
using that stress to do so.
694
00:25:04.760 --> 00:25:06.800
And what we're just trying to find is find something
695
00:25:06.800 --> 00:25:08.880
that what is it that you value?
696
00:25:08.880 --> 00:25:11.840
Link it with that to the motion instead
697
00:25:11.840 --> 00:25:16.040
so that you're not reinforcing anxiety and your body
698
00:25:16.040 --> 00:25:18.280
because then you'll always be dissatisfied.
699
00:25:18.280 --> 00:25:21.080
And that's what I see a lot with the really highly successful
700
00:25:21.080 --> 00:25:23.040
ADHD people who are entrepreneurs,
701
00:25:23.040 --> 00:25:25.520
is that oftentimes they sell that business.
702
00:25:25.520 --> 00:25:28.480
They were sold that that's going to be like the end all be all
703
00:25:28.480 --> 00:25:31.480
and I can go out and get a margarita and sit on a beach
704
00:25:31.480 --> 00:25:34.320
and do that kind of stuff that may work for a couple of months.
705
00:25:34.320 --> 00:25:35.200
They hate it.
706
00:25:35.200 --> 00:25:37.760
And then after a while, it's like, you're going to get bored.
707
00:25:37.760 --> 00:25:40.640
Of course, you're not only seeking this boring.
708
00:25:40.640 --> 00:25:43.160
You know, I don't care how many people you sleep with
709
00:25:43.160 --> 00:25:45.520
or whatever it is and how successful you are,
710
00:25:45.520 --> 00:25:46.480
it's going to get boring.
711
00:25:46.480 --> 00:25:49.000
Yes, well, I hope it gets boring actually.
712
00:25:49.040 --> 00:25:51.200
Yeah, I mean, you know, I do marriage therapy, right?
713
00:25:51.200 --> 00:25:54.080
So I also see that it can play out that way as well.
714
00:25:54.080 --> 00:25:55.960
But if you've been married for a really long time,
715
00:25:55.960 --> 00:25:59.400
if you're with someone who has higher novelty seeking, right,
716
00:25:59.400 --> 00:26:02.800
that's one piece of the puzzle, but it's not the whole puzzle,
717
00:26:02.800 --> 00:26:04.800
but pay attention to that.
718
00:26:04.800 --> 00:26:07.680
Absolutely, that's where the understanding can make it.
719
00:26:07.680 --> 00:26:10.640
So that way we don't have to personalize it.
720
00:26:10.640 --> 00:26:12.440
If the other partner understands that,
721
00:26:12.440 --> 00:26:14.720
the reason why that person wasn't really paying attention
722
00:26:14.720 --> 00:26:17.240
to everything wasn't because they weren't really caring about it
723
00:26:17.240 --> 00:26:19.760
that ability to tend like that is not under their control.
724
00:26:19.760 --> 00:26:20.600
It's a checking out.
725
00:26:20.600 --> 00:26:21.680
It's not a real power.
726
00:26:21.680 --> 00:26:23.400
Yeah, like you're just mental blinking.
727
00:26:23.400 --> 00:26:24.440
It's like you're tuning in.
728
00:26:24.440 --> 00:26:26.560
It's something I'm okay interested in.
729
00:26:26.560 --> 00:26:28.720
So I'm tuning in, tuning in, tuning in on,
730
00:26:28.720 --> 00:26:31.120
oh, I wonder what I'm going to have for lunch today.
731
00:26:31.120 --> 00:26:32.520
All right, and then I come back in.
732
00:26:32.520 --> 00:26:35.160
You know, one way I think Andrew Huberman was describing it,
733
00:26:35.160 --> 00:26:36.840
it's like, you know, we're in default mode
734
00:26:36.840 --> 00:26:38.760
when we're just sort of daydreaming,
735
00:26:38.760 --> 00:26:39.960
and we're just sort of having our mind.
736
00:26:39.960 --> 00:26:41.160
We're not in any goal.
737
00:26:41.160 --> 00:26:44.520
But for ADHD, just lever to go all the way into task mode,
738
00:26:44.520 --> 00:26:46.760
it actually gets stuck middle way
739
00:26:46.760 --> 00:26:49.440
if we're not totally engaged and totally loving it.
740
00:26:49.440 --> 00:26:51.240
And that halfway point,
741
00:26:51.240 --> 00:26:54.240
you're getting flooded by, you know, still other thoughts.
742
00:26:54.240 --> 00:26:56.720
If you're on task and then also you see something
743
00:26:56.720 --> 00:26:58.960
along over there and then another thought grabs you.
744
00:26:58.960 --> 00:27:00.160
And if one of them is enticing,
745
00:27:00.160 --> 00:27:02.160
also you're grabbing that thought and you're off.
746
00:27:02.160 --> 00:27:03.000
Yeah.
747
00:27:03.000 --> 00:27:03.840
And that's the problem.
748
00:27:03.840 --> 00:27:06.160
And the other issue where people can have struggle with
749
00:27:06.160 --> 00:27:07.400
is that they can get locked in
750
00:27:07.400 --> 00:27:10.160
and lose their flexibility to switch tasks.
751
00:27:10.160 --> 00:27:12.440
That's how people get caught up in burnout.
752
00:27:12.440 --> 00:27:15.920
They can just keep riding the midnight oil,
753
00:27:15.920 --> 00:27:17.200
not paying attention to their body,
754
00:27:17.200 --> 00:27:19.840
not feeding it correctly, all that stuff, just unravel.
755
00:27:19.840 --> 00:27:22.720
There's a level of coming back to routines.
756
00:27:22.720 --> 00:27:24.440
The routines are extraordinary.
757
00:27:24.440 --> 00:27:26.480
You can't be high level for long
758
00:27:26.480 --> 00:27:29.120
and then high functioning and not have it break you down
759
00:27:29.120 --> 00:27:33.080
complexity, just going to continue to go up, not down
760
00:27:33.080 --> 00:27:35.080
and you have to be able to create habits.
761
00:27:35.080 --> 00:27:35.920
Yes.
762
00:27:35.920 --> 00:27:38.360
And drill those habits, it's like practice.
763
00:27:38.360 --> 00:27:40.440
Because you know, because you could also create bad habits.
764
00:27:40.440 --> 00:27:41.280
Absolutely.
765
00:27:41.280 --> 00:27:45.920
And really learning how to delay that instant gratification
766
00:27:45.920 --> 00:27:48.320
tendency that we like to go to.
767
00:27:48.320 --> 00:27:49.600
And then so you have to be very careful.
768
00:27:49.600 --> 00:27:53.080
And that's where I think essential is things like sleep,
769
00:27:53.080 --> 00:27:56.000
nutrition, these kind of things,
770
00:27:56.000 --> 00:27:59.240
especially the gut that's a one area that's super important
771
00:27:59.240 --> 00:28:01.720
there, we have to get their sleep put together.
772
00:28:01.720 --> 00:28:03.560
That will also incorporate what we're doing
773
00:28:03.560 --> 00:28:05.720
that a morning and a nighttime ritual.
774
00:28:05.720 --> 00:28:08.840
And so that also teaches people how to build new habits.
775
00:28:08.840 --> 00:28:10.480
Because a lot of people don't know how to do that
776
00:28:10.480 --> 00:28:14.000
directly, because we tend to be our own worst critic.
777
00:28:14.000 --> 00:28:15.960
And we won't give ourselves any leeway.
778
00:28:15.960 --> 00:28:18.840
Because a lot of 80s suffer from all or nothing syndrome.
779
00:28:18.840 --> 00:28:19.360
Sure.
780
00:28:19.360 --> 00:28:20.400
It's all or nothing.
781
00:28:20.400 --> 00:28:23.320
Either I do it like super well or fuck it.
782
00:28:23.320 --> 00:28:24.000
I'm done.
783
00:28:24.000 --> 00:28:26.520
You know, it's like, that's how you put energy toward it,
784
00:28:26.520 --> 00:28:27.400
which is get it done.
785
00:28:27.400 --> 00:28:30.160
I have two gears all the way and that's it.
786
00:28:30.160 --> 00:28:32.360
And so I tell my people, we're going to have to build.
787
00:28:32.360 --> 00:28:35.040
You have gears one and five and we need to build two, three,
788
00:28:35.040 --> 00:28:36.040
and four.
789
00:28:36.040 --> 00:28:39.120
Because there's no way you're going to have longevity
790
00:28:39.280 --> 00:28:41.520
and what you're doing if you continue to do
791
00:28:41.520 --> 00:28:42.360
what you're doing right now.
792
00:28:42.360 --> 00:28:43.960
Yeah, I mean, it's similar experience for me.
793
00:28:43.960 --> 00:28:45.720
Definitely not emergency room level,
794
00:28:45.720 --> 00:28:47.480
but just working in the entertainment industry.
795
00:28:47.480 --> 00:28:49.360
Like I would love to working on like the events
796
00:28:49.360 --> 00:28:51.520
like Kids Choice Awards or whatever for Nickelodeon.
797
00:28:51.520 --> 00:28:54.720
Because first of all, it was like a four month long project
798
00:28:54.720 --> 00:28:58.200
versus like something that was just routine, ongoing,
799
00:28:58.200 --> 00:28:59.040
evergreen.
800
00:28:59.040 --> 00:29:00.680
It was just a start and end.
801
00:29:00.680 --> 00:29:01.520
Yes.
802
00:29:01.520 --> 00:29:04.640
And that was a huge appeal to me,
803
00:29:04.640 --> 00:29:06.000
having high functioning energy.
804
00:29:06.000 --> 00:29:08.320
You had to manage so many things.
805
00:29:08.320 --> 00:29:11.960
It required me to be able to keep a high level
806
00:29:11.960 --> 00:29:14.080
sort of purview over everything.
807
00:29:14.080 --> 00:29:16.520
I'm here because being in the weeds is very like,
808
00:29:16.520 --> 00:29:19.080
ugh, I, right?
809
00:29:19.080 --> 00:29:21.200
So it's like being up here and being able to manage
810
00:29:21.200 --> 00:29:22.000
all these different things.
811
00:29:22.000 --> 00:29:23.720
And so now being a clinician,
812
00:29:23.720 --> 00:29:27.080
one of the ways that my ADHD plays out for me really well
813
00:29:27.080 --> 00:29:29.640
is watching all the Thanonofu experiences,
814
00:29:29.640 --> 00:29:32.160
watching all the little elements happening
815
00:29:32.160 --> 00:29:36.600
whether in the room or by Zoom of like facial expression
816
00:29:36.600 --> 00:29:39.120
and what's being stated and what did he say
817
00:29:39.120 --> 00:29:41.040
while she's saying this.
818
00:29:41.040 --> 00:29:43.000
And I'm sure my partner hates that.
819
00:29:43.000 --> 00:29:47.920
I'm a great clinician for those reasons, right?
820
00:29:47.920 --> 00:29:51.720
And I think that's one of the ways that ADHD has really been
821
00:29:51.720 --> 00:29:53.440
a kind of a gift for me is being able to see it
822
00:29:53.440 --> 00:29:56.520
from this high level and notice all those nuances
823
00:29:56.520 --> 00:29:58.200
at the same time.
824
00:29:58.200 --> 00:30:00.880
And it's kind of like being a part of chaos, right?
825
00:30:00.880 --> 00:30:02.040
And holding it down.
826
00:30:02.040 --> 00:30:03.680
Well, it's also your ability to take,
827
00:30:03.680 --> 00:30:05.840
you're taking multiple streams of information
828
00:30:05.840 --> 00:30:06.760
simultaneously.
829
00:30:06.760 --> 00:30:07.600
Yeah.
830
00:30:07.600 --> 00:30:08.440
So you're able to do that.
831
00:30:08.440 --> 00:30:11.600
And then you can, it's called conciliance by, you know,
832
00:30:11.600 --> 00:30:12.960
just one stream.
833
00:30:12.960 --> 00:30:15.280
But now you can put four streams together,
834
00:30:15.280 --> 00:30:17.040
you kind of pattern emerge.
835
00:30:17.040 --> 00:30:17.880
Yes.
836
00:30:17.880 --> 00:30:18.720
And you can feel it.
837
00:30:18.720 --> 00:30:19.560
And then you can go like,
838
00:30:19.560 --> 00:30:22.200
and I often get it in the sense of like images.
839
00:30:22.200 --> 00:30:23.880
Like I get these powerful images.
840
00:30:23.880 --> 00:30:27.720
Like there's this capacity for getting the gestalt on things
841
00:30:27.720 --> 00:30:29.520
and that intuitiveness.
842
00:30:29.520 --> 00:30:31.560
That also could relate though as well.
843
00:30:31.560 --> 00:30:33.600
Because one of the core morbidities
844
00:30:33.600 --> 00:30:35.400
that come along with being ADHD,
845
00:30:35.400 --> 00:30:37.280
because we tend to be loud.
846
00:30:37.280 --> 00:30:39.760
We tend to be noticeable and sometimes,
847
00:30:39.760 --> 00:30:44.400
yes, charming, but we can often get, you know, some trauma.
848
00:30:44.400 --> 00:30:46.280
You know, like with parental trauma,
849
00:30:46.280 --> 00:30:48.080
like getting hit or something like that,
850
00:30:48.080 --> 00:30:48.960
because we're loud.
851
00:30:48.960 --> 00:30:52.360
We're not, we tend to get overly zuberant about things,
852
00:30:52.360 --> 00:30:54.080
get totally all like, oh my god,
853
00:30:54.080 --> 00:30:55.960
and we gotta be restrained back.
854
00:30:55.960 --> 00:30:58.920
But so then oftentimes we do see this relationship
855
00:30:58.920 --> 00:31:01.360
with like having experience of trauma.
856
00:31:01.360 --> 00:31:03.400
And that back, which can lead to,
857
00:31:03.400 --> 00:31:05.200
when we have this enhanced sensitivity,
858
00:31:05.200 --> 00:31:06.280
which is our gift,
859
00:31:06.280 --> 00:31:08.160
but then it becomes hyper-sensitive.
860
00:31:08.160 --> 00:31:09.680
Yeah.
861
00:31:09.680 --> 00:31:11.520
So that's why when I talk to my patients,
862
00:31:11.520 --> 00:31:12.600
it's like, you know, right now,
863
00:31:12.600 --> 00:31:14.240
and when they oftentimes are burnt out,
864
00:31:14.240 --> 00:31:15.240
like a lot of times, you know,
865
00:31:15.240 --> 00:31:17.120
when we're talking about our entrepreneur friends there,
866
00:31:17.120 --> 00:31:19.880
who were super awesome in one area,
867
00:31:19.880 --> 00:31:22.640
but they were totally ignoring a lot of other areas.
868
00:31:22.640 --> 00:31:23.920
And a lot of times it's their body
869
00:31:23.920 --> 00:31:25.360
and a lot of times it's their relationship.
870
00:31:25.360 --> 00:31:26.200
Yeah.
871
00:31:26.200 --> 00:31:27.960
But they're doing really, really, really well here.
872
00:31:27.960 --> 00:31:29.560
But then they have to like come back in
873
00:31:29.560 --> 00:31:30.720
and then we have to kind of like,
874
00:31:30.720 --> 00:31:34.760
be able to take a step back, take a breath,
875
00:31:34.760 --> 00:31:37.840
and start to kind of like see like what is going on here
876
00:31:37.840 --> 00:31:40.880
so that we can start to really start to rebalance.
877
00:31:40.880 --> 00:31:43.680
We can make that gift work and not let it burn us out.
878
00:31:43.680 --> 00:31:44.680
So that's the trick.
879
00:31:44.680 --> 00:31:46.040
And it's an ongoing process.
880
00:31:46.040 --> 00:31:48.640
You were also mentioning the importance of like systems, right?
881
00:31:48.640 --> 00:31:50.680
So let's talk a little bit about some of the systems.
882
00:31:50.680 --> 00:31:52.320
A lot of people, especially have functioning,
883
00:31:52.320 --> 00:31:53.720
don't need medication.
884
00:31:53.720 --> 00:31:56.040
I do believe there are some people who really,
885
00:31:56.040 --> 00:31:57.480
it's like, I've seen it where I've
886
00:31:57.760 --> 00:32:01.040
really encouraged some clients to like consider it and get on it.
887
00:32:01.040 --> 00:32:02.600
And there's different types of medications
888
00:32:02.600 --> 00:32:04.760
that you can use that are not necessarily
889
00:32:04.760 --> 00:32:08.080
the classical stimulants that can be extremely helpful as well.
890
00:32:08.080 --> 00:32:09.600
Because a lot of times, you know, if it,
891
00:32:09.600 --> 00:32:11.800
let's say there is more of a trauma history,
892
00:32:11.800 --> 00:32:13.880
it could be that there's a lot of
893
00:32:13.880 --> 00:32:16.440
somatic anxiety and incarnative anxiety
894
00:32:16.440 --> 00:32:19.080
that's just overwhelming the attentional bandwidth.
895
00:32:19.080 --> 00:32:21.480
And that way by actually not giving a stimulant
896
00:32:21.480 --> 00:32:23.440
that's the way it probably makes it worse.
897
00:32:23.440 --> 00:32:25.200
But we can give things like Guamficine
898
00:32:25.200 --> 00:32:27.560
or quantity that may calm down that.
899
00:32:27.560 --> 00:32:29.200
The adrenaline might be a little bit too high
900
00:32:29.200 --> 00:32:30.880
or you're just too sensitive to it.
901
00:32:30.880 --> 00:32:32.880
So we can use that as a tool.
902
00:32:32.880 --> 00:32:35.400
There are other ways to also boost dopamine
903
00:32:35.400 --> 00:32:37.560
that might be there that are in the natural sphere.
904
00:32:37.560 --> 00:32:40.440
There's a lot of supplements that I might use.
905
00:32:40.440 --> 00:32:42.640
We like to do a lot of blood testing
906
00:32:42.640 --> 00:32:44.360
because that's where the nutritional part,
907
00:32:44.360 --> 00:32:46.240
the nutritional part plays a large role.
908
00:32:46.240 --> 00:32:49.560
Like when I'm working with somebody first initially,
909
00:32:49.560 --> 00:32:52.480
the first thing is sleep, absolutely essential.
910
00:32:52.480 --> 00:32:55.280
And then nutrition is absolutely essential.
911
00:32:55.280 --> 00:32:57.480
Then what I like to do, if we can work on that
912
00:32:57.480 --> 00:32:58.920
and we can get progress,
913
00:32:58.920 --> 00:33:02.200
but we may need to, oftentimes if it's a disaster area,
914
00:33:02.200 --> 00:33:04.120
though, we may need to use the medication first of all,
915
00:33:04.120 --> 00:33:06.760
initially, because sometimes it's hard
916
00:33:06.760 --> 00:33:09.640
for them to even make the habits first.
917
00:33:09.640 --> 00:33:11.880
So you may need to use the medication as a tool
918
00:33:11.880 --> 00:33:12.800
to make the habits.
919
00:33:12.800 --> 00:33:13.800
I call it a bridge.
920
00:33:13.800 --> 00:33:14.640
Exactly.
921
00:33:14.640 --> 00:33:15.960
And then once you have the habits,
922
00:33:15.960 --> 00:33:18.920
then you can start to back off using the tool
923
00:33:18.920 --> 00:33:21.520
because the habits are now your gift and you have that.
924
00:33:21.520 --> 00:33:23.800
But a lot of the people that we're talking to,
925
00:33:23.800 --> 00:33:25.880
they have trainers, they're nutritionists,
926
00:33:25.880 --> 00:33:30.200
they're like, but still I noticed even within myself
927
00:33:30.200 --> 00:33:31.320
and with some of my clients,
928
00:33:31.320 --> 00:33:34.120
because we become super hyper focused in our work,
929
00:33:34.120 --> 00:33:35.800
let's just say, I'll just like say,
930
00:33:35.800 --> 00:33:37.240
oh, clap, I haven't eaten yet.
931
00:33:37.240 --> 00:33:39.080
And I just, the impulse of grab, right?
932
00:33:39.080 --> 00:33:42.280
So the preparation, and also I'm just curious
933
00:33:42.280 --> 00:33:44.800
because you have a master's in herbal medicine, right?
934
00:33:44.800 --> 00:33:47.360
Like, are there certain herbal medicines
935
00:33:47.360 --> 00:33:49.760
that are better for people with ADHD
936
00:33:49.760 --> 00:33:52.600
that they should be incorporating into their diet?
937
00:33:53.640 --> 00:33:55.120
Diet wise, I mean, there's a lot of things
938
00:33:55.120 --> 00:33:57.320
that could be done for a diet aspect,
939
00:33:57.320 --> 00:33:58.880
but for herbal things that go on,
940
00:33:58.880 --> 00:33:59.960
it depends on the person.
941
00:33:59.960 --> 00:34:02.760
Again, it's like, it can be a little bit of trial and error,
942
00:34:02.760 --> 00:34:05.080
but I actually like a couple of supplements that I like
943
00:34:05.080 --> 00:34:08.840
with a lot of my ADHD patients are gigableobo,
944
00:34:08.840 --> 00:34:10.360
but it has to be a certain kind.
945
00:34:10.360 --> 00:34:12.000
It can give a little bit of a headache
946
00:34:12.000 --> 00:34:14.280
because it actually dilates the blood vessels,
947
00:34:14.280 --> 00:34:15.640
makes them, you know, in the brain
948
00:34:15.640 --> 00:34:17.680
and it hits next to a pain receptor
949
00:34:17.680 --> 00:34:19.440
and you could feel it for a little bit.
950
00:34:19.560 --> 00:34:20.800
But then why would I want to take it?
951
00:34:20.800 --> 00:34:21.840
Like, how would it be helping me?
952
00:34:21.840 --> 00:34:23.920
It tends to actually improve alertness.
953
00:34:23.920 --> 00:34:26.880
It's really about balancing your autonomic state,
954
00:34:26.880 --> 00:34:29.520
your fight or flight with the rest in digest
955
00:34:29.520 --> 00:34:31.800
and really trying to find a balance between there.
956
00:34:31.800 --> 00:34:35.520
So you might be overly stimulated, right?
957
00:34:35.520 --> 00:34:37.080
And that's where a lot of patients,
958
00:34:37.080 --> 00:34:39.400
right away, inherit who were taking medication,
959
00:34:39.400 --> 00:34:41.800
they usually are taking too much medication.
960
00:34:41.800 --> 00:34:43.440
People are taking Adderol a lot of times.
961
00:34:43.440 --> 00:34:45.960
If you're taking Mord, it's actually artificially going
962
00:34:45.960 --> 00:34:48.600
much higher than your normal dopamine rate,
963
00:34:48.600 --> 00:34:50.400
you actually become dumber.
964
00:34:50.400 --> 00:34:53.360
You're working memory suffers when that happens.
965
00:34:53.360 --> 00:34:55.160
But if you take the right dose
966
00:34:55.160 --> 00:34:58.960
and that is usually where you should barely feel it.
967
00:34:58.960 --> 00:34:59.960
Barely.
968
00:34:59.960 --> 00:35:02.000
I don't want it to take away all your symptoms.
969
00:35:02.000 --> 00:35:04.400
I want you to take away maybe like 50%,
970
00:35:04.400 --> 00:35:06.680
and then use it to make the tools
971
00:35:06.680 --> 00:35:08.560
to build the habits that we can go through.
972
00:35:08.560 --> 00:35:11.440
Because otherwise, if we, if it were to help 100%,
973
00:35:11.440 --> 00:35:14.440
the person would be less motivated to want to do the work.
974
00:35:14.440 --> 00:35:16.480
So you need the drive, which is you need the dopamine.
975
00:35:16.480 --> 00:35:19.000
Some people might need a little bit of stimulant up front.
976
00:35:19.000 --> 00:35:21.200
Other people, we can work on the diet
977
00:35:21.200 --> 00:35:22.960
or just work on the sleep, it'll get better.
978
00:35:22.960 --> 00:35:24.560
And then we can use supplemental tools
979
00:35:24.560 --> 00:35:26.440
if they need a boost in dopamine
980
00:35:26.440 --> 00:35:27.800
or if they need their serotonin,
981
00:35:27.800 --> 00:35:29.520
if they're a little more anxious based.
982
00:35:29.520 --> 00:35:31.600
Iron is important in dopamine production
983
00:35:31.600 --> 00:35:32.840
and just energy production.
984
00:35:32.840 --> 00:35:34.600
And so oftentimes I'll see that.
985
00:35:34.600 --> 00:35:38.040
A lot of times that happened with a lot of my ADHD patients
986
00:35:38.040 --> 00:35:42.360
who tend to be on the vegan or vegetarian side.
987
00:35:42.360 --> 00:35:44.520
So we'll have to kind of work with that.
988
00:35:44.520 --> 00:35:47.400
Because I believe a lot of us who were in the higher functioning
989
00:35:47.400 --> 00:35:49.440
if it wasn't from some sort of pathology
990
00:35:49.440 --> 00:35:51.520
that would lead to some of the problems
991
00:35:51.520 --> 00:35:54.680
with the inattentiveness that we probably were,
992
00:35:54.680 --> 00:35:57.640
there's probably some credits to this evolutionary principle
993
00:35:57.640 --> 00:35:58.840
that we were hunter-gatherers.
994
00:35:58.840 --> 00:36:01.560
And I see that us, ADHD's just tend to,
995
00:36:01.560 --> 00:36:05.080
not all of us tend to do better on a kind of paleo style.
996
00:36:05.080 --> 00:36:08.960
It's just diet, going back to pre-agricultural
997
00:36:08.960 --> 00:36:13.320
where we're not eating like bread, not eating refined sugars,
998
00:36:13.320 --> 00:36:15.240
that kind of stuff, we are more sensitive.
999
00:36:15.240 --> 00:36:16.800
So we're definitely more sensitive.
1000
00:36:16.800 --> 00:36:19.760
That's why we see these dietary studies,
1001
00:36:19.760 --> 00:36:22.240
like one showed up to 70% reduction in kids
1002
00:36:22.240 --> 00:36:24.240
when they took out a lot of like corn syrup
1003
00:36:24.240 --> 00:36:26.280
and the preservatives and all the little different things
1004
00:36:26.280 --> 00:36:27.520
that I'm gonna find sugar.
1005
00:36:27.520 --> 00:36:30.880
We do see this huge gut brain kind of thing
1006
00:36:30.880 --> 00:36:32.480
in particularly with ADHD.
1007
00:36:32.480 --> 00:36:34.440
That is, it's awesome to hear
1008
00:36:34.440 --> 00:36:37.120
because it's, I think that that is especially important
1009
00:36:37.120 --> 00:36:39.240
for people who are trying to figure out,
1010
00:36:39.240 --> 00:36:41.040
like do I have this, right?
1011
00:36:41.080 --> 00:36:44.360
Because a lot of people, as we talked about in the beginning,
1012
00:36:44.360 --> 00:36:46.080
like I had to become a clinician,
1013
00:36:46.080 --> 00:36:47.440
see it into my other clients
1014
00:36:47.440 --> 00:36:49.280
and start recognizing it within myself.
1015
00:36:49.280 --> 00:36:52.280
So I think nutrition and how you eat could be one of the ways,
1016
00:36:52.280 --> 00:36:53.320
when you eat, how do you do it?
1017
00:36:53.320 --> 00:36:55.280
Like I said, I would grab sometimes
1018
00:36:55.280 --> 00:36:59.240
because I'd get so hyper, so learning what are the signs
1019
00:36:59.240 --> 00:37:02.120
and I think we've talked about it before as well.
1020
00:37:02.120 --> 00:37:04.080
What are your partners complaining about?
1021
00:37:04.080 --> 00:37:06.400
And taking note of those things,
1022
00:37:06.400 --> 00:37:07.720
because what we're really talking about
1023
00:37:07.720 --> 00:37:10.160
is if you have high functioning ADHD
1024
00:37:10.160 --> 00:37:11.200
and you've been successful,
1025
00:37:11.200 --> 00:37:14.360
you've created these cool adaptations
1026
00:37:14.360 --> 00:37:18.440
to still be successful, systems, delegation.
1027
00:37:18.440 --> 00:37:20.840
What we're really talking about is self-mastery.
1028
00:37:20.840 --> 00:37:23.680
So when you're talking about breaking it down like in the morning,
1029
00:37:23.680 --> 00:37:26.320
what is your routine and how can you optimize better?
1030
00:37:26.320 --> 00:37:29.080
That's why if you've already been successful
1031
00:37:29.080 --> 00:37:31.320
without even knowing that you have ADHD,
1032
00:37:31.320 --> 00:37:33.120
it's like the self-mastery piece
1033
00:37:33.120 --> 00:37:35.440
for optimizing even further.
1034
00:37:35.440 --> 00:37:36.640
Oh, absolutely, right?
1035
00:37:36.640 --> 00:37:38.040
Yeah, yeah, because then you can see
1036
00:37:38.040 --> 00:37:39.920
where it is, where are my problem points
1037
00:37:39.920 --> 00:37:42.880
and it gives you a frame from which to look at,
1038
00:37:42.880 --> 00:37:44.960
oh, okay, I can see.
1039
00:37:44.960 --> 00:37:48.800
If I have a short-term memory issue and I tend to forget,
1040
00:37:48.800 --> 00:37:50.240
but if I make this system,
1041
00:37:50.240 --> 00:37:52.440
for this thing that I tend to do often
1042
00:37:52.440 --> 00:37:54.520
and I just sort of do it in a way,
1043
00:37:54.520 --> 00:37:57.880
the area that we have some issue with is called the frontal lobes.
1044
00:37:57.880 --> 00:38:00.720
You know, that's the thing that tells most of us
1045
00:38:00.720 --> 00:38:03.680
to not say blurred out the thing,
1046
00:38:03.680 --> 00:38:06.800
or when we're there, yes, that you're blurred out anyway,
1047
00:38:06.800 --> 00:38:08.440
the filters, you know, that kind of stuff.
1048
00:38:08.440 --> 00:38:09.960
We have a little porous filter,
1049
00:38:09.960 --> 00:38:11.880
filtration system that can go on there.
1050
00:38:11.880 --> 00:38:16.320
So what we need to do is by training in these behaviors,
1051
00:38:16.320 --> 00:38:19.320
it brings it to a deeper part of the brain
1052
00:38:19.320 --> 00:38:21.960
called the basal ganglia, which doesn't need to be conscious,
1053
00:38:21.960 --> 00:38:23.280
and that's where habits lie.
1054
00:38:23.280 --> 00:38:26.920
You've delegated that task, that boring task,
1055
00:38:26.920 --> 00:38:28.880
now you don't have to use any energy,
1056
00:38:28.880 --> 00:38:30.880
we call it cognitively offload.
1057
00:38:30.880 --> 00:38:33.040
And then you don't have to constantly make this decision
1058
00:38:33.040 --> 00:38:35.240
because if you don't set yourself up,
1059
00:38:35.240 --> 00:38:36.600
I love to set myself up.
1060
00:38:36.600 --> 00:38:38.760
I have a routine in the morning, I put my clothes out
1061
00:38:38.760 --> 00:38:39.600
and all that kind of thing.
1062
00:38:39.600 --> 00:38:42.160
You want to kind of like, I call it lubricate your day.
1063
00:38:42.160 --> 00:38:43.320
Yeah.
1064
00:38:43.320 --> 00:38:46.240
Everybody, lubricate your day.
1065
00:38:46.240 --> 00:38:47.080
Exactly.
1066
00:38:47.080 --> 00:38:49.640
And that's the thing is you want to put the element of play.
1067
00:38:49.640 --> 00:38:50.480
Yeah.
1068
00:38:50.480 --> 00:38:52.880
That way it just makes it so when we get frustrated
1069
00:38:52.880 --> 00:38:54.840
and everything like that, we can start to laugh at ourselves.
1070
00:38:54.840 --> 00:38:55.840
Yes.
1071
00:38:55.840 --> 00:38:58.320
Such a better way than when we're really out of balance,
1072
00:38:58.320 --> 00:39:00.520
because I'm sure we've all had periods of really deep
1073
00:39:00.520 --> 00:39:03.120
and balanced in ways like it's really painful.
1074
00:39:03.120 --> 00:39:04.920
And that's another thing in learning is that like,
1075
00:39:04.920 --> 00:39:05.760
yeah, it's okay.
1076
00:39:05.760 --> 00:39:09.120
And then you can reach out and find other ADHD people
1077
00:39:09.120 --> 00:39:11.480
to hang out with, because they generally,
1078
00:39:11.480 --> 00:39:13.440
they notice we tend to hang out better
1079
00:39:13.440 --> 00:39:15.680
because we kind of get each other.
1080
00:39:15.680 --> 00:39:16.520
Yeah.
1081
00:39:16.520 --> 00:39:18.120
We get that we're going to say wacky shit
1082
00:39:18.120 --> 00:39:19.440
to get that and stuff like that.
1083
00:39:19.440 --> 00:39:20.280
And we like it.
1084
00:39:20.280 --> 00:39:21.840
We're not going to be politically corrected,
1085
00:39:21.840 --> 00:39:22.920
not to mention it.
1086
00:39:22.920 --> 00:39:26.480
We just, our inner voice often becomes our outer voice, right?
1087
00:39:26.480 --> 00:39:29.400
And I want to color out side of the line.
1088
00:39:29.400 --> 00:39:30.240
Exactly.
1089
00:39:30.240 --> 00:39:33.320
Don't drive with me, but also don't make me color
1090
00:39:33.320 --> 00:39:34.160
inside of the line.
1091
00:39:34.160 --> 00:39:35.160
That's for sure.
1092
00:39:35.160 --> 00:39:37.960
And don't give me an interesting story why I'm driving.
1093
00:39:37.960 --> 00:39:38.960
Absolutely.
1094
00:39:38.960 --> 00:39:39.960
Where are we going?
1095
00:39:39.960 --> 00:39:41.440
Wait, I'm in charge.
1096
00:39:41.440 --> 00:39:42.280
That would be terrible.
1097
00:39:42.280 --> 00:39:43.440
Yeah, it's so fun.
1098
00:39:43.440 --> 00:39:46.600
It's, again, I want to go back to like, for me,
1099
00:39:46.600 --> 00:39:48.520
I've had a lot of fun with it,
1100
00:39:48.520 --> 00:39:52.120
but I think it's because I have found ways to cope with it.
1101
00:39:52.120 --> 00:39:56.200
But I also believe that I could have been further along
1102
00:39:56.200 --> 00:40:01.200
a lot sooner in life had I known what I was looking at.
1103
00:40:01.360 --> 00:40:03.160
I wouldn't have struggled so much with the food,
1104
00:40:03.160 --> 00:40:05.480
the way I was eating, and then self-esteem
1105
00:40:05.480 --> 00:40:08.840
that comes along with it, especially when I was working
1106
00:40:08.840 --> 00:40:09.640
in Hollywood.
1107
00:40:09.640 --> 00:40:11.960
There's so many things that could have just been
1108
00:40:11.960 --> 00:40:13.480
a little bit better.
1109
00:40:13.480 --> 00:40:14.320
Sure.
1110
00:40:14.320 --> 00:40:16.200
And if you just know yourself better,
1111
00:40:16.200 --> 00:40:19.200
and you just know, hey, there are road maps, right?
1112
00:40:19.200 --> 00:40:21.120
And like the systems that we're talking about
1113
00:40:21.120 --> 00:40:24.360
and just the way to eat, all these things can guide us to,
1114
00:40:24.360 --> 00:40:27.280
again, it's really about self-mastery at this point.
1115
00:40:27.280 --> 00:40:31.560
Yeah, a lot of us have very harsh inner critics
1116
00:40:31.560 --> 00:40:32.960
inside of our brain.
1117
00:40:32.960 --> 00:40:35.280
And it's like, you're just, you know, like,
1118
00:40:35.280 --> 00:40:37.880
Sisyphus, you just keep going up and you're just being whipped
1119
00:40:37.880 --> 00:40:39.840
and you're being whipped and being whipped and being whipped.
1120
00:40:39.840 --> 00:40:42.440
And that can lead to a very uncomfortable life
1121
00:40:42.440 --> 00:40:43.200
for a lot of people.
1122
00:40:43.200 --> 00:40:46.120
And I can see how driven some people are.
1123
00:40:46.120 --> 00:40:47.880
And they're just so driven, driven, driven,
1124
00:40:47.880 --> 00:40:50.840
but they've kind of lost the sense of purpose at that point.
1125
00:40:50.840 --> 00:40:52.880
You know, I mean, it was like maybe to make, you know,
1126
00:40:52.880 --> 00:40:54.400
money to do.
1127
00:40:54.400 --> 00:40:55.520
Sell your business.
1128
00:40:55.520 --> 00:40:56.280
Yes, right?
1129
00:40:56.280 --> 00:40:57.120
Exactly.
1130
00:40:57.120 --> 00:40:59.360
And just to be that way, and then I can relax.
1131
00:40:59.360 --> 00:41:00.480
Right, sure.
1132
00:41:00.480 --> 00:41:01.320
They sell it.
1133
00:41:01.320 --> 00:41:02.320
They think that they want to live it.
1134
00:41:02.320 --> 00:41:03.320
And then what happened?
1135
00:41:03.320 --> 00:41:06.160
They feel this sense of deep aloneness
1136
00:41:06.160 --> 00:41:07.840
that that turns into loneliness.
1137
00:41:07.840 --> 00:41:12.880
Up to 50% can experience deep loneliness at any particular time.
1138
00:41:12.880 --> 00:41:14.280
Because we tend to be different.
1139
00:41:14.280 --> 00:41:15.400
We're no or divergent.
1140
00:41:15.400 --> 00:41:16.920
We think differently.
1141
00:41:16.920 --> 00:41:19.640
I have another patient who is older, you know,
1142
00:41:19.640 --> 00:41:21.640
in their 80s and their ADHD.
1143
00:41:21.640 --> 00:41:23.640
And it's like, although they have a lot of friends
1144
00:41:23.640 --> 00:41:25.240
and everything like that, they struggle
1145
00:41:25.240 --> 00:41:28.160
because they would like to tell off color of joke
1146
00:41:28.200 --> 00:41:30.560
and they have to kind of keep it to themselves a little bit.
1147
00:41:30.560 --> 00:41:33.360
So, you know, it's easy for us to feel alone.
1148
00:41:33.360 --> 00:41:34.920
So that's why when that loneliness,
1149
00:41:34.920 --> 00:41:37.000
when that entrepreneur who just sold everything,
1150
00:41:37.000 --> 00:41:38.920
and then, and then they didn't realize it's like,
1151
00:41:38.920 --> 00:41:40.800
there's an attachment to the business itself.
1152
00:41:40.800 --> 00:41:44.640
1000% how much time and hours that you did it is a baby.
1153
00:41:44.640 --> 00:41:46.800
So you, you've got that whole experience.
1154
00:41:46.800 --> 00:41:50.120
And so then people can really devolve really powerfully.
1155
00:41:50.120 --> 00:41:52.720
And you talk about like, well, mid-life prices
1156
00:41:52.720 --> 00:41:54.320
happens often at that time.
1157
00:41:54.320 --> 00:41:57.880
You're not now as energetic and as fast-style
1158
00:41:57.920 --> 00:41:59.960
with your mind and everything as you used to be
1159
00:41:59.960 --> 00:42:01.200
and you start to doubt yourself.
1160
00:42:01.200 --> 00:42:02.720
And we're working with patients like that.
1161
00:42:02.720 --> 00:42:04.320
That's like a, like a primary area
1162
00:42:04.320 --> 00:42:05.880
where a lot of people who,
1163
00:42:05.880 --> 00:42:08.200
it's like getting the rug pulled right underneath you.
1164
00:42:08.200 --> 00:42:09.720
Like you were sold as bill of goods
1165
00:42:09.720 --> 00:42:11.040
that this is the happiness.
1166
00:42:11.040 --> 00:42:12.640
I've done everything that you could do
1167
00:42:12.640 --> 00:42:14.320
that I thought was going to make me happy
1168
00:42:14.320 --> 00:42:15.640
and now I'm miserable.
1169
00:42:15.640 --> 00:42:17.200
It's sad, it's really sad.
1170
00:42:17.200 --> 00:42:20.240
So it's, again, it's about self-mastery learning
1171
00:42:20.240 --> 00:42:23.200
and then finding something else to get excited about.
1172
00:42:23.200 --> 00:42:25.040
You know, it doesn't have to be started a business.
1173
00:42:25.040 --> 00:42:27.680
Again, 50 can be invested.
1174
00:42:27.760 --> 00:42:30.240
It can be doing something that brings you
1175
00:42:30.240 --> 00:42:33.280
other ways of joy, mentorship, things of that nature, right?
1176
00:42:33.280 --> 00:42:36.280
But it's finding something that's going to keep you going
1177
00:42:36.280 --> 00:42:39.000
because you can't just like cut that off at the pass.
1178
00:42:39.000 --> 00:42:39.840
Exactly.
1179
00:42:39.840 --> 00:42:41.720
I think one of the things that I like to do
1180
00:42:41.720 --> 00:42:44.520
is because we can be very externally focused
1181
00:42:44.520 --> 00:42:47.280
and I try to then balance that out by teaching
1182
00:42:47.280 --> 00:42:49.760
and it's actually a really good tool to improve your focus.
1183
00:42:49.760 --> 00:42:52.600
I teach my clients how to sense their body.
1184
00:42:52.600 --> 00:42:54.280
Pay attention to it more.
1185
00:42:54.280 --> 00:42:56.360
Because we can get caught up in making these sort of,
1186
00:42:56.640 --> 00:42:58.520
if you get caught up in making the habits too,
1187
00:42:58.520 --> 00:42:59.960
you can start getting into what I call
1188
00:42:59.960 --> 00:43:01.520
too much rule-governed behavior.
1189
00:43:01.520 --> 00:43:02.640
All right, this is what I do on Monday.
1190
00:43:02.640 --> 00:43:03.960
This is what I do in Tuesday.
1191
00:43:03.960 --> 00:43:06.240
This is why I wear my oral ring and I do this,
1192
00:43:06.240 --> 00:43:10.040
and it gets so rigid that you're not listening to your body
1193
00:43:10.040 --> 00:43:12.120
and that's what you can burn yourself out again.
1194
00:43:12.120 --> 00:43:14.080
So we need to learn to respect this.
1195
00:43:14.080 --> 00:43:16.520
We need to learn to like if we want to have longevity
1196
00:43:16.520 --> 00:43:20.600
and a high quality life, you need to respect the vehicle that you're in.
1197
00:43:20.600 --> 00:43:21.760
So that's where I come back.
1198
00:43:21.760 --> 00:43:24.200
And by just directing your attention to your body,
1199
00:43:24.200 --> 00:43:26.400
so what I recommend with ADHD people when they do
1200
00:43:26.400 --> 00:43:31.600
in these sort of attentional exercises is that they exercise first
1201
00:43:31.600 --> 00:43:33.840
and then do the attentional training second.
1202
00:43:33.840 --> 00:43:34.680
Got it.
1203
00:43:34.680 --> 00:43:37.280
Because they usually can be a little restless to do it initially.
1204
00:43:37.280 --> 00:43:39.080
So wearing ourselves out first.
1205
00:43:39.080 --> 00:43:40.600
A little bit, yeah, a little bit.
1206
00:43:40.600 --> 00:43:41.920
Not so much that you get sleepy,
1207
00:43:41.920 --> 00:43:44.600
but just enough to kind of get some of the energy off.
1208
00:43:44.600 --> 00:43:45.960
And then do the focus.
1209
00:43:45.960 --> 00:43:47.120
Because then you get your dopamine up.
1210
00:43:47.120 --> 00:43:50.440
They've found that if you just do this sort of interoceptively
1211
00:43:50.440 --> 00:43:52.840
sensing your lungs and your breathing
1212
00:43:52.880 --> 00:43:55.240
and then sensing behind your eye, a third eye,
1213
00:43:55.240 --> 00:43:56.960
any kind of interoceptive practice,
1214
00:43:56.960 --> 00:43:58.560
it could just be on your breath.
1215
00:43:58.560 --> 00:44:00.280
You could do what's called body scanning
1216
00:44:00.280 --> 00:44:01.560
and there's many things on the internet
1217
00:44:01.560 --> 00:44:04.160
where you just go from your head down to your toes
1218
00:44:04.160 --> 00:44:05.600
and just sensing each body part,
1219
00:44:05.600 --> 00:44:06.960
you just sensing the inner part.
1220
00:44:06.960 --> 00:44:10.840
Also how to learn to pivot your attention off of your verbal
1221
00:44:10.840 --> 00:44:12.440
because most of us are hyperverbal.
1222
00:44:12.440 --> 00:44:13.280
Yes.
1223
00:44:13.280 --> 00:44:14.480
Constant chatter on here.
1224
00:44:14.480 --> 00:44:15.320
Yeah.
1225
00:44:15.320 --> 00:44:17.400
So it's not to try to stop that.
1226
00:44:17.400 --> 00:44:20.000
That's you'll not win that game ever.
1227
00:44:20.000 --> 00:44:22.280
I don't care how much master you develop.
1228
00:44:22.280 --> 00:44:25.200
You just let the verbal go and then redirect your attention
1229
00:44:25.200 --> 00:44:26.200
to the body.
1230
00:44:26.200 --> 00:44:27.040
That's what you do.
1231
00:44:27.040 --> 00:44:29.320
You're pivoting and that will help you
1232
00:44:29.320 --> 00:44:32.480
be able to better attune your focus on areas
1233
00:44:32.480 --> 00:44:33.920
that you may not be as interested in,
1234
00:44:33.920 --> 00:44:36.000
but if you can get it and then you can start to use
1235
00:44:36.000 --> 00:44:38.600
other techniques to try to make yourself interested
1236
00:44:38.600 --> 00:44:40.800
like some of the other tricks exactly.
1237
00:44:40.800 --> 00:44:42.800
You can gamify all that other stuff.
1238
00:44:42.800 --> 00:44:44.080
You could spread your attention.
1239
00:44:44.080 --> 00:44:47.680
And now you're gaining a high level balance and functionality.
1240
00:44:47.680 --> 00:44:49.640
I think it's really important that we talk about,
1241
00:44:49.640 --> 00:44:50.480
you know, like you said,
1242
00:44:50.560 --> 00:44:53.000
there's some co-occurring disorders like anxiety.
1243
00:44:53.000 --> 00:44:55.880
And you've seen it with like OCD, OCPD.
1244
00:44:55.880 --> 00:44:59.200
Like talk to me a little bit about what you see in your practice
1245
00:44:59.200 --> 00:45:02.920
because I absolutely see it playing out in all the ways.
1246
00:45:02.920 --> 00:45:03.440
Sure.
1247
00:45:03.440 --> 00:45:06.560
The anxiety is a big one.
1248
00:45:06.560 --> 00:45:08.640
That woman, if the anxiety is strong,
1249
00:45:08.640 --> 00:45:13.040
they'll be less likely to be entrepreneurs on that type.
1250
00:45:13.040 --> 00:45:14.520
You got to be able to handle some risks.
1251
00:45:14.520 --> 00:45:15.120
Correct.
1252
00:45:15.120 --> 00:45:15.640
Correct.
1253
00:45:15.640 --> 00:45:17.560
On that spectrum though, I see a lot of people
1254
00:45:17.560 --> 00:45:21.720
though with trauma who then have used that trauma
1255
00:45:21.720 --> 00:45:22.840
as a driving force.
1256
00:45:22.840 --> 00:45:23.360
Sure.
1257
00:45:23.360 --> 00:45:26.760
Where that, that, that I see a lot of like, you know,
1258
00:45:26.760 --> 00:45:29.560
like people who've gotten bullied, people who've gotten,
1259
00:45:29.560 --> 00:45:31.960
you know, other types of kind of trauma during their life.
1260
00:45:31.960 --> 00:45:33.360
And then I'll show you.
1261
00:45:33.360 --> 00:45:34.360
Yes, yes.
1262
00:45:34.360 --> 00:45:35.160
Mentality.
1263
00:45:35.160 --> 00:45:37.600
I might know a little something about that, Mr. Man.
1264
00:45:38.640 --> 00:45:40.880
If that powers it all the way through
1265
00:45:40.880 --> 00:45:43.760
and it doesn't change to something else over time,
1266
00:45:43.760 --> 00:45:45.040
that's going to lead to burnout.
1267
00:45:45.040 --> 00:45:46.440
Yeah, yeah.
1268
00:45:46.440 --> 00:45:49.680
Because it's running, again, it's that the idea of what drives
1269
00:45:49.680 --> 00:45:52.160
your actions, what's the principal thing
1270
00:45:52.160 --> 00:45:53.440
that's driving your action.
1271
00:45:53.440 --> 00:45:55.600
You know, again, there's always multiple emotions,
1272
00:45:55.600 --> 00:45:57.200
but the dominant one, if the both dominant
1273
00:45:57.200 --> 00:45:59.960
wants to gain revenge and say, hey, hey, hey.
1274
00:45:59.960 --> 00:46:02.520
For someone with ADHD, that's about a win in a game again.
1275
00:46:02.520 --> 00:46:03.040
Yeah.
1276
00:46:03.040 --> 00:46:04.760
Because if you haven't gotten to the point
1277
00:46:04.760 --> 00:46:06.640
where that is no longer the issue
1278
00:46:06.640 --> 00:46:09.280
that will show the person up, you're still living
1279
00:46:09.280 --> 00:46:10.840
in a regressive nature.
1280
00:46:10.840 --> 00:46:12.200
Yeah.
1281
00:46:12.200 --> 00:46:14.880
You're still not yet fulfilled the wound
1282
00:46:14.880 --> 00:46:17.960
of the insecurity that was grown during that period
1283
00:46:17.960 --> 00:46:19.200
in your childhood.
1284
00:46:19.200 --> 00:46:20.960
And so that's where oftentimes, too,
1285
00:46:20.960 --> 00:46:24.520
a lot of deep inner work is needed for those of us
1286
00:46:24.520 --> 00:46:27.600
who obviously we were at, we were noticeable.
1287
00:46:27.600 --> 00:46:29.840
So then we often got yelled at.
1288
00:46:29.840 --> 00:46:33.280
We often got spanked because we were the obvious ones.
1289
00:46:33.280 --> 00:46:35.000
Well, we were the obvious ones.
1290
00:46:35.000 --> 00:46:36.040
We felt it.
1291
00:46:36.040 --> 00:46:38.480
We became the scapegoat, right?
1292
00:46:38.480 --> 00:46:41.040
Because we called it out because we blurted it out
1293
00:46:41.040 --> 00:46:42.600
because we noticed it.
1294
00:46:42.600 --> 00:46:44.000
We talked about it and you're not
1295
00:46:44.000 --> 00:46:46.400
supposed to talk about it.
1296
00:46:46.400 --> 00:46:48.960
You may not have talked about it in the most diplomatic way,
1297
00:46:48.960 --> 00:46:50.960
but like you just, you just like, this isn't right.
1298
00:46:50.960 --> 00:46:52.760
I remember saying that even in corporate America,
1299
00:46:52.760 --> 00:46:54.480
and I was like, this is like bullshit.
1300
00:46:54.480 --> 00:46:56.120
I didn't know you were supposed to say that.
1301
00:46:56.120 --> 00:46:58.080
But like, apparently, you're not supposed
1302
00:46:58.080 --> 00:46:59.800
to say that in corporate America, which is why I make
1303
00:46:59.800 --> 00:47:01.880
a much better entrepreneur.
1304
00:47:01.880 --> 00:47:04.560
So yeah, so we talked about anxiety.
1305
00:47:04.560 --> 00:47:07.840
What about like, what do you notice about OCD or OCPD?
1306
00:47:07.840 --> 00:47:10.680
And also, I want to just acknowledge my experience
1307
00:47:10.680 --> 00:47:12.160
with a lot of clients when I try to talk to them
1308
00:47:12.280 --> 00:47:17.720
about trauma, they assume big trauma, like rape, war.
1309
00:47:17.720 --> 00:47:20.800
And they don't want to often look at what,
1310
00:47:20.800 --> 00:47:24.040
sometimes we call little teas of like child neglects,
1311
00:47:24.040 --> 00:47:25.520
emotional neglect, right?
1312
00:47:25.520 --> 00:47:27.560
Not even a, not even like physical abuse,
1313
00:47:27.560 --> 00:47:29.880
just sort of like the invalidation, the dismissiveness
1314
00:47:29.880 --> 00:47:32.240
that maybe they got well-intended parents,
1315
00:47:32.240 --> 00:47:36.040
or the parent that just said, essentially,
1316
00:47:36.040 --> 00:47:38.720
making them want to earn their love,
1317
00:47:38.960 --> 00:47:40.400
plotting all the accomplishments,
1318
00:47:40.400 --> 00:47:42.960
not applauding the failures for trying,
1319
00:47:42.960 --> 00:47:45.880
the skill that they're learning, and that they tried.
1320
00:47:45.880 --> 00:47:47.800
So I think I just wanted to distill that a little bit too
1321
00:47:47.800 --> 00:47:50.480
for the audience about what could also constitute a trauma
1322
00:47:50.480 --> 00:47:51.800
and how that plays in.
1323
00:47:51.800 --> 00:47:54.720
How does it work with like OCD, OCPD,
1324
00:47:54.720 --> 00:47:56.240
and high-functioning ADHD?
1325
00:47:56.240 --> 00:47:57.120
What do you notice?
1326
00:47:57.120 --> 00:48:00.840
Yeah, so, well, this tackle the trauma question,
1327
00:48:00.840 --> 00:48:02.120
because that's a tricky one.
1328
00:48:02.120 --> 00:48:05.240
It can get so loose, lipped, or wherever once.
1329
00:48:05.960 --> 00:48:08.600
This happened, it was traumatic, and this is traumatic,
1330
00:48:08.600 --> 00:48:11.000
and it took, it drives me a little bit nutsy.
1331
00:48:12.040 --> 00:48:16.640
That said, with ADHD, again, we tend to feel everything
1332
00:48:16.640 --> 00:48:20.040
more powerful, and we don't have as much of a gating capacity,
1333
00:48:20.040 --> 00:48:21.920
we can get overwhelmed easily.
1334
00:48:21.920 --> 00:48:22.760
Yeah.
1335
00:48:22.760 --> 00:48:24.360
You know, where certain sensitivities
1336
00:48:24.360 --> 00:48:26.800
can be like really jarring to the system.
1337
00:48:26.800 --> 00:48:30.640
And so that can lend itself to a vulnerability
1338
00:48:30.640 --> 00:48:31.960
to like, you know, one of the things
1339
00:48:31.960 --> 00:48:35.200
that the brain's doing when there's a very intense stimuli
1340
00:48:35.240 --> 00:48:37.640
when we're young, we're just super sensitive.
1341
00:48:37.640 --> 00:48:39.480
And then you hear like, you know,
1342
00:48:39.480 --> 00:48:44.520
parents yelling and screaming, and your body's like getting jarred,
1343
00:48:44.520 --> 00:48:47.200
and it might want to compartmentalize and dissociate.
1344
00:48:47.200 --> 00:48:49.760
Yep, especially those of us who are high-functioning
1345
00:48:49.760 --> 00:48:53.440
are my IQ, we dissociate in term imagination.
1346
00:48:53.440 --> 00:48:54.560
And we date green.
1347
00:48:54.560 --> 00:48:58.320
Yep, which also probably supports us being more creative,
1348
00:48:58.320 --> 00:48:59.560
right, as we get older.
1349
00:48:59.560 --> 00:49:00.400
It could be.
1350
00:49:00.400 --> 00:49:01.240
For sure?
1351
00:49:01.240 --> 00:49:02.960
A potential possibility of like, hey,
1352
00:49:02.960 --> 00:49:04.960
that was really a gift in that moment.
1353
00:49:04.960 --> 00:49:07.920
For sure, you know, depending upon what the imagination was on,
1354
00:49:07.920 --> 00:49:10.600
like, you know, because you're this act of imagination,
1355
00:49:10.600 --> 00:49:13.400
and it might be really those of us with highly visual
1356
00:49:13.400 --> 00:49:16.000
spatial skills, and they really get caught up.
1357
00:49:16.000 --> 00:49:18.120
And whatever you give your attention to, it grows.
1358
00:49:18.120 --> 00:49:18.960
That's right.
1359
00:49:18.960 --> 00:49:20.880
And that skill is going to grow too.
1360
00:49:20.880 --> 00:49:22.200
And like you said, you know,
1361
00:49:22.200 --> 00:49:24.920
in some ways, dissociation can be somewhat, you know,
1362
00:49:24.920 --> 00:49:26.280
potentially beneficial at times.
1363
00:49:26.280 --> 00:49:28.760
And actually is, your body is protecting you there.
1364
00:49:28.760 --> 00:49:31.640
However, you're conditioning the person to check out,
1365
00:49:31.640 --> 00:49:33.440
tune in, tune in, tune in, tune out,
1366
00:49:33.440 --> 00:49:34.720
and it becomes automatic.
1367
00:49:34.720 --> 00:49:35.200
Yeah.
1368
00:49:35.200 --> 00:49:37.120
And it's not something of willpower.
1369
00:49:37.120 --> 00:49:38.840
And that's where a lot of people feel like,
1370
00:49:38.840 --> 00:49:40.360
oh, if I could only attend harder,
1371
00:49:40.360 --> 00:49:42.120
and sometimes actually there's a lot of ADHD
1372
00:49:42.120 --> 00:49:43.880
where you try to do that efforting,
1373
00:49:43.880 --> 00:49:45.560
and that actually makes it much worse.
1374
00:49:45.560 --> 00:49:47.800
But also I see it play out with marriage therapy too.
1375
00:49:47.800 --> 00:49:49.680
So to be the partner or someone who's checking out,
1376
00:49:49.680 --> 00:49:51.800
tuning out, and they're trying to, like,
1377
00:49:51.800 --> 00:49:52.760
where'd you just go?
1378
00:49:52.760 --> 00:49:54.760
I need you to be present, right?
1379
00:49:54.760 --> 00:49:55.760
It becomes a problem.
1380
00:49:55.760 --> 00:49:57.640
And they can even be trying to be present,
1381
00:49:57.640 --> 00:49:58.920
and that actually makes it worse.
1382
00:49:58.920 --> 00:49:59.760
Yeah.
1383
00:49:59.760 --> 00:50:00.600
And that's the fault.
1384
00:50:00.600 --> 00:50:02.920
And it's like, oh, but that's where the knowledge
1385
00:50:02.920 --> 00:50:05.080
we can depersonalize it, and we can just see,
1386
00:50:05.080 --> 00:50:08.320
this is a human thing, rather than a new thing.
1387
00:50:08.320 --> 00:50:09.000
Right.
1388
00:50:09.000 --> 00:50:11.120
Yeah, that's so well-stated, yeah.
1389
00:50:11.120 --> 00:50:13.240
I think the only thing that I would be helpful
1390
00:50:13.240 --> 00:50:14.600
would be some of the other systems
1391
00:50:14.600 --> 00:50:16.000
that we were talking about, you know,
1392
00:50:16.000 --> 00:50:18.360
like the morning routine, night routine.
1393
00:50:18.360 --> 00:50:20.880
I know you've got a really fun one for like your stuff.
1394
00:50:20.880 --> 00:50:23.720
Is it like the fab four or something like that?
1395
00:50:23.720 --> 00:50:26.360
You've made up a really some really good systems
1396
00:50:26.360 --> 00:50:28.240
for your own self-mastery, by the way,
1397
00:50:28.240 --> 00:50:29.440
like one of my favorite things,
1398
00:50:29.440 --> 00:50:32.520
is why I really only refer to Dr. Mans
1399
00:50:32.520 --> 00:50:34.560
when it comes to sharing clients,
1400
00:50:34.560 --> 00:50:37.720
is because I've just observed myself,
1401
00:50:37.720 --> 00:50:41.400
your self-mastery, and admire how much awareness
1402
00:50:41.400 --> 00:50:42.520
you have to yourself.
1403
00:50:42.520 --> 00:50:45.600
And I know you take that same level of attunement
1404
00:50:45.600 --> 00:50:47.320
and attention to your clients.
1405
00:50:47.320 --> 00:50:51.240
And that's really the only psychiatrist in nearly 15 years.
1406
00:50:51.240 --> 00:50:54.840
I believe in you and what my client is going to get,
1407
00:50:54.840 --> 00:50:56.960
and then it's not just med management.
1408
00:50:56.960 --> 00:50:58.880
Thanks, appreciate that.
1409
00:50:58.880 --> 00:51:01.640
Well, I think a lot of times I say one of my patients,
1410
00:51:01.640 --> 00:51:03.960
like, I'm not any better than you.
1411
00:51:03.960 --> 00:51:06.320
I just had the problems earlier than you.
1412
00:51:06.320 --> 00:51:09.560
So, you know, a lot of times I went through a lot of this stuff
1413
00:51:09.560 --> 00:51:11.800
with the ADHD and navigate that through.
1414
00:51:11.800 --> 00:51:15.680
And then I realized how important habits were,
1415
00:51:15.680 --> 00:51:18.240
and how important sleep is.
1416
00:51:18.240 --> 00:51:19.880
It's absolutely essential,
1417
00:51:19.880 --> 00:51:23.080
because it's hard for us ADHDers to shut this thing off.
1418
00:51:23.080 --> 00:51:23.920
Yeah.
1419
00:51:23.920 --> 00:51:24.760
Right?
1420
00:51:24.760 --> 00:51:27.520
You have to actually experiment,
1421
00:51:27.520 --> 00:51:29.440
you need to learn, like, what are the things,
1422
00:51:29.440 --> 00:51:32.160
how to not, like, go and use your phone in bed.
1423
00:51:32.160 --> 00:51:35.280
Like, I had to make a rule, no phone in my bedroom.
1424
00:51:35.280 --> 00:51:38.520
All I do is if I'm going to listen to something like audio,
1425
00:51:38.520 --> 00:51:41.640
I always tell my patients, you know, about one to two hours,
1426
00:51:41.640 --> 00:51:42.640
it depends on your brain.
1427
00:51:42.640 --> 00:51:43.840
You may need more than that.
1428
00:51:43.840 --> 00:51:44.840
You mean less than that,
1429
00:51:44.840 --> 00:51:47.840
but one to two hours, you switch from video to audio.
1430
00:51:47.840 --> 00:51:51.720
40% of your brain energy is used to visual processing
1431
00:51:51.720 --> 00:51:54.400
when your eyes are open, and then if you're looking
1432
00:51:54.400 --> 00:51:56.920
at artificial stimuli, like screens,
1433
00:51:56.920 --> 00:51:58.360
which you're never meant to do,
1434
00:51:58.360 --> 00:52:00.680
the retinas are the only external part of your brain
1435
00:52:00.680 --> 00:52:02.120
outside of your skull.
1436
00:52:02.120 --> 00:52:03.760
And so that's literally brain tissue
1437
00:52:03.760 --> 00:52:07.880
that's being stimulated directly by artificial stimulation.
1438
00:52:07.880 --> 00:52:09.960
And then we wonder why it's hard to shut off
1439
00:52:09.960 --> 00:52:11.920
that air commentator when we go in a bed.
1440
00:52:11.920 --> 00:52:13.080
So that's key.
1441
00:52:13.080 --> 00:52:14.880
And once I started doing that,
1442
00:52:14.880 --> 00:52:17.280
making sure that I'm not eating late at night,
1443
00:52:17.280 --> 00:52:18.880
junk's light.
1444
00:52:18.880 --> 00:52:21.040
It's super helpful, yeah.
1445
00:52:21.040 --> 00:52:22.800
So that was helpful.
1446
00:52:22.800 --> 00:52:24.880
And then being able to master my own sleep,
1447
00:52:24.880 --> 00:52:27.560
because I had chronic insomnia for a long time,
1448
00:52:27.560 --> 00:52:28.800
just hard to fall asleep.
1449
00:52:28.800 --> 00:52:30.640
It would normally take me at least an hour or so
1450
00:52:30.640 --> 00:52:32.680
to fall asleep to wind down my brain
1451
00:52:32.680 --> 00:52:34.520
until I was totally exhausted.
1452
00:52:34.520 --> 00:52:37.120
Now, being able to work in how important it is
1453
00:52:37.120 --> 00:52:38.040
to start your day.
1454
00:52:38.040 --> 00:52:41.320
So I like to quote book ending your day.
1455
00:52:41.320 --> 00:52:43.760
The morning routine, your nighttime routine.
1456
00:52:43.760 --> 00:52:45.840
And everybody can decide what it is,
1457
00:52:45.840 --> 00:52:48.760
but the general idea is how to gently bring your body
1458
00:52:48.760 --> 00:52:50.480
to increase its alertness,
1459
00:52:50.480 --> 00:52:52.560
and how to then take that alertness and bring it down.
1460
00:52:52.560 --> 00:52:56.200
I like James Clears book on like atomic habits.
1461
00:52:56.200 --> 00:52:58.640
You know, the first part of that book is just solid.
1462
00:52:58.640 --> 00:53:01.160
And I like the idea of like the two-minute rule
1463
00:53:01.160 --> 00:53:03.080
that it actually is the number of reps
1464
00:53:03.080 --> 00:53:05.280
that takes up of what you do for a thing
1465
00:53:05.280 --> 00:53:08.200
that sears it into makes it a habit quicker
1466
00:53:08.200 --> 00:53:09.800
and try not to miss twice.
1467
00:53:09.800 --> 00:53:11.280
In that way, you're not berating yourself
1468
00:53:11.280 --> 00:53:14.560
and getting losing your energy, your power to the self-judge.
1469
00:53:14.560 --> 00:53:15.760
And I think that's another big one
1470
00:53:15.760 --> 00:53:18.760
where therapy plays a role with the trauma part,
1471
00:53:18.760 --> 00:53:21.040
especially for my men clients,
1472
00:53:21.040 --> 00:53:22.880
learning how to grieve.
1473
00:53:22.880 --> 00:53:25.160
Yes, I couldn't agree more.
1474
00:53:25.160 --> 00:53:30.000
Women often, even though a lot of women don't know
1475
00:53:30.000 --> 00:53:31.240
their feelings,
1476
00:53:31.240 --> 00:53:33.160
women are often given a pass
1477
00:53:33.160 --> 00:53:36.480
and allowed and expected almost to grieve and to cry
1478
00:53:36.480 --> 00:53:38.560
and however that all shapes out.
1479
00:53:38.560 --> 00:53:40.400
We talked to me about your own experience
1480
00:53:40.400 --> 00:53:43.720
in holding grief and how you came to deal with that
1481
00:53:43.720 --> 00:53:44.800
with ADHD.
1482
00:53:44.800 --> 00:53:45.640
Yeah.
1483
00:53:45.640 --> 00:53:47.880
So we're relating it to the tendency
1484
00:53:47.880 --> 00:53:50.000
because we tend to be obvious
1485
00:53:50.000 --> 00:53:53.280
that we're more likely to potentially get traumatized,
1486
00:53:53.280 --> 00:53:55.000
get yelled at, hit, whatever.
1487
00:53:55.000 --> 00:53:57.000
It's a more sensitive question.
1488
00:53:57.000 --> 00:53:58.200
And then we're very sensitive,
1489
00:53:58.200 --> 00:53:59.880
so we feel that kind of stuff.
1490
00:53:59.880 --> 00:54:05.000
And so being a six foot four by the time I was in ninth grade,
1491
00:54:05.000 --> 00:54:06.880
playing football, that kind of thing,
1492
00:54:06.880 --> 00:54:08.800
you're kind of trained in a certain way.
1493
00:54:08.800 --> 00:54:11.480
Don't be a whistle and don't cry,
1494
00:54:11.480 --> 00:54:14.440
like ignore your body, ignore your feelings.
1495
00:54:14.440 --> 00:54:15.280
Shut it down.
1496
00:54:15.280 --> 00:54:16.640
Just push, push, push, push.
1497
00:54:16.640 --> 00:54:19.320
We can get locked in and we just overly focused
1498
00:54:19.320 --> 00:54:21.640
and we can kind of run on that energy,
1499
00:54:21.640 --> 00:54:24.840
like because it creates a kind of a restlessness
1500
00:54:24.840 --> 00:54:28.160
that some people can then channel
1501
00:54:28.160 --> 00:54:30.320
with their sort of energetic quality
1502
00:54:30.320 --> 00:54:33.160
and their openness and they drives their business.
1503
00:54:33.160 --> 00:54:35.480
And they can run on that for a while,
1504
00:54:35.480 --> 00:54:38.120
but then ultimately that's gonna be problematic.
1505
00:54:38.120 --> 00:54:41.080
And oftentimes they have a very harsh inner critic.
1506
00:54:41.080 --> 00:54:41.920
Yes.
1507
00:54:41.920 --> 00:54:43.200
That's what we were coming back around to
1508
00:54:43.200 --> 00:54:46.920
because that's telling you there's deep wounds.
1509
00:54:46.920 --> 00:54:50.720
It's an echo of the past that hasn't yet been healed.
1510
00:54:50.720 --> 00:54:52.840
And so by working through your grief,
1511
00:54:52.840 --> 00:54:55.920
because oftentimes what it is, there's anger
1512
00:54:55.920 --> 00:54:58.400
and then there's grief in the core.
1513
00:54:58.400 --> 00:54:59.920
And the anger's like, fuck you.
1514
00:54:59.920 --> 00:55:01.360
And but you have to be willing to like,
1515
00:55:01.360 --> 00:55:04.800
sometimes that has to come out in its own expression
1516
00:55:04.800 --> 00:55:07.600
and then being able to then open up.
1517
00:55:07.600 --> 00:55:10.160
Because a lot of times they weren't safe and secure.
1518
00:55:10.160 --> 00:55:12.480
They are sensitive and that's why they don't wanna have
1519
00:55:12.480 --> 00:55:15.200
that vulnerable, but if they can actually be in such a gift,
1520
00:55:15.200 --> 00:55:18.640
when you see this person who's never actually grieved before,
1521
00:55:18.640 --> 00:55:21.320
all of a sudden opens up and starts grieving.
1522
00:55:21.320 --> 00:55:24.040
And scary because if they have never learned how
1523
00:55:24.040 --> 00:55:25.920
and now they've got compounded grief
1524
00:55:25.920 --> 00:55:27.640
from how many decades.
1525
00:55:27.640 --> 00:55:28.640
Yeah.
1526
00:55:28.640 --> 00:55:30.960
And that's scary for them, but that's where the idea is,
1527
00:55:30.960 --> 00:55:32.280
you gotta make it natural.
1528
00:55:32.280 --> 00:55:33.120
It's natural.
1529
00:55:33.120 --> 00:55:33.960
That's right.
1530
00:55:33.960 --> 00:55:34.960
And what I generally do is I actually,
1531
00:55:34.960 --> 00:55:37.840
because I deal with a lot of very cerebral patients,
1532
00:55:37.840 --> 00:55:39.440
that's what we're talking about here,
1533
00:55:39.440 --> 00:55:42.040
is I will explain it to them.
1534
00:55:42.040 --> 00:55:44.560
Before I end, it's sometimes it's helpful to give them
1535
00:55:44.560 --> 00:55:46.600
a little bit of a conceptual map,
1536
00:55:46.600 --> 00:55:49.360
which then kind of eases their body a little bit.
1537
00:55:49.360 --> 00:55:52.040
Because without the map, it's kind of like,
1538
00:55:52.040 --> 00:55:56.920
the mind will jump in to try to control.
1539
00:55:56.920 --> 00:55:59.920
And that's like trying to force yourself to sleep.
1540
00:55:59.920 --> 00:56:01.840
And I just wanna kind of just reiterate,
1541
00:56:01.840 --> 00:56:03.960
like some of the trauma that you're talking about,
1542
00:56:03.960 --> 00:56:05.760
isn't necessarily like the some of the stuff
1543
00:56:05.760 --> 00:56:08.360
that people often just assume is trauma.
1544
00:56:08.360 --> 00:56:10.680
Like a lot of times people wanna poo poo
1545
00:56:10.680 --> 00:56:13.240
what we would consider trauma, right?
1546
00:56:13.520 --> 00:56:16.240
The child neglect, just not enough attention
1547
00:56:16.240 --> 00:56:18.920
given to the kid, because well-intended parents,
1548
00:56:18.920 --> 00:56:20.760
but mom had multiple children,
1549
00:56:20.760 --> 00:56:23.480
or maybe couldn't attend to them for some reason,
1550
00:56:23.480 --> 00:56:25.440
or dad couldn't attend to them for some reason,
1551
00:56:25.440 --> 00:56:26.960
or dad was traveling all the time,
1552
00:56:26.960 --> 00:56:30.040
trying to pay the bills, or dismissiveness and validation.
1553
00:56:30.040 --> 00:56:33.360
I see that a lot, and it's like this lack of attunement
1554
00:56:33.360 --> 00:56:35.840
to the emotion that you're talking about.
1555
00:56:35.840 --> 00:56:40.840
And so that is, I think often unrecognized trauma
1556
00:56:41.120 --> 00:56:43.840
by especially sort of a higher performing,
1557
00:56:43.840 --> 00:56:45.120
higher functioning individual,
1558
00:56:45.120 --> 00:56:48.520
because they go to that safe space of the brain, right?
1559
00:56:48.520 --> 00:56:50.320
To sort of self-protect.
1560
00:56:50.320 --> 00:56:53.200
That's the way that they knew that they would be safe,
1561
00:56:53.200 --> 00:56:55.160
and it just continues to be the safe way.
1562
00:56:55.160 --> 00:56:56.000
Why not?
1563
00:56:56.000 --> 00:56:57.240
But then you're checking out.
1564
00:56:57.240 --> 00:56:58.080
That's right.
1565
00:56:58.080 --> 00:56:59.640
And it comes at a huge cost.
1566
00:56:59.640 --> 00:57:00.960
Including a marriage sometimes,
1567
00:57:00.960 --> 00:57:03.080
if you check out too much, your partner does not want
1568
00:57:03.080 --> 00:57:03.920
you checking out.
1569
00:57:03.920 --> 00:57:04.760
For sure.
1570
00:57:04.760 --> 00:57:06.120
And you're not doing it on purpose,
1571
00:57:06.120 --> 00:57:07.640
that's the sad part of it.
1572
00:57:07.640 --> 00:57:10.320
It's actually just, it's just part of the conditioning
1573
00:57:10.320 --> 00:57:11.200
that you're going through.
1574
00:57:11.200 --> 00:57:13.280
And then it just causes more problems.
1575
00:57:13.280 --> 00:57:15.360
So that's why it's really important when couples,
1576
00:57:15.360 --> 00:57:16.760
that's where your area is,
1577
00:57:16.760 --> 00:57:20.640
is where you're focusing on how the dynamics of ADHD
1578
00:57:20.640 --> 00:57:23.160
sort of play out of that total area.
1579
00:57:23.160 --> 00:57:27.400
The gift is that when I see my ADHD clients start to cry,
1580
00:57:27.400 --> 00:57:30.080
the first thing is the inner critic will say,
1581
00:57:30.080 --> 00:57:31.240
that was nothing.
1582
00:57:31.240 --> 00:57:33.600
They try to discount it, but that's okay,
1583
00:57:33.600 --> 00:57:35.840
because when they've actually done the real thing,
1584
00:57:35.840 --> 00:57:39.960
meaning that they didn't, they let go, finally, they let go.
1585
00:57:40.000 --> 00:57:41.480
And the rain clouds came in,
1586
00:57:41.480 --> 00:57:43.680
and see, grief is different than crying.
1587
00:57:43.680 --> 00:57:45.360
There's differences between the two.
1588
00:57:45.360 --> 00:57:47.640
Crying is like, I get overwhelmed,
1589
00:57:47.640 --> 00:57:50.600
and I'm just gonna, it's like a neck up phenomenon.
1590
00:57:50.600 --> 00:57:53.080
But when grief happens, it's from the belly,
1591
00:57:53.080 --> 00:57:54.880
it's coming up, it's out.
1592
00:57:54.880 --> 00:57:56.600
Is it really great distinction?
1593
00:57:56.600 --> 00:57:57.920
Thank you for over.
1594
00:57:57.920 --> 00:58:00.320
And it comes in waves, you have this one.
1595
00:58:00.320 --> 00:58:02.800
Well up, and then boom, boom, boom, boom.
1596
00:58:02.800 --> 00:58:04.080
And there might be a pause,
1597
00:58:04.080 --> 00:58:06.640
and there might be a second wave, maybe, maybe not,
1598
00:58:06.640 --> 00:58:09.160
but if there's a lot, there might be a second wave,
1599
00:58:09.160 --> 00:58:10.520
it might be a third wave.
1600
00:58:10.520 --> 00:58:14.040
And it depends on how tight the body is gripping
1601
00:58:14.040 --> 00:58:17.240
to defend itself, because it can, and it can not arrest.
1602
00:58:17.240 --> 00:58:19.400
It's kind of like these conditioning, these tightening,
1603
00:58:19.400 --> 00:58:21.760
you often feel tightness in the chest,
1604
00:58:21.760 --> 00:58:23.000
because a lot of times people will say,
1605
00:58:23.000 --> 00:58:24.680
you know, I'm angry, and I'm like it,
1606
00:58:24.680 --> 00:58:26.920
but I feel this tightness in my chest,
1607
00:58:26.920 --> 00:58:28.560
what anger is an outward.
1608
00:58:28.560 --> 00:58:29.400
Sure.
1609
00:58:29.400 --> 00:58:33.200
This tightness is anxiety, that you're getting anxiety to that.
1610
00:58:33.200 --> 00:58:36.920
So it's a wall, it's like it's guarding that color,
1611
00:58:36.920 --> 00:58:38.480
you're building your armor.
1612
00:58:38.480 --> 00:58:41.520
It's just psychological armor, it's like, nope.
1613
00:58:41.520 --> 00:58:43.840
But the problem is that cuts you off.
1614
00:58:43.840 --> 00:58:46.240
You're cut off, and you're going to feel disconnected.
1615
00:58:46.240 --> 00:58:47.240
And when that happens...
1616
00:58:47.240 --> 00:58:48.840
People are going to feel disconnected around you.
1617
00:58:48.840 --> 00:58:49.840
Exactly.
1618
00:58:49.840 --> 00:58:51.560
And when you feel disconnected,
1619
00:58:51.560 --> 00:58:54.040
your opiate system goes down,
1620
00:58:54.040 --> 00:58:55.440
and you become hypersensitive,
1621
00:58:55.440 --> 00:58:57.400
because opiates make you feel pain relief, right?
1622
00:58:57.400 --> 00:59:00.040
So if you get less opiate, like tone,
1623
00:59:00.040 --> 00:59:01.920
you're going to feel more sensitive.
1624
00:59:01.920 --> 00:59:04.080
Everything's going to feel irritating,
1625
00:59:04.080 --> 00:59:05.120
getting on your nose.
1626
00:59:05.120 --> 00:59:07.040
Why is that person chewing like that?
1627
00:59:07.040 --> 00:59:08.080
What the hell, what the,
1628
00:59:08.080 --> 00:59:09.480
what do they keep saying that for?
1629
00:59:09.480 --> 00:59:10.280
What does that sound?
1630
00:59:10.280 --> 00:59:11.280
What is that sound?
1631
00:59:11.280 --> 00:59:13.120
So that kind of stuff.
1632
00:59:13.120 --> 00:59:13.960
Yeah.
1633
00:59:13.960 --> 00:59:14.920
So we can see how then, too,
1634
00:59:14.920 --> 00:59:16.840
when you know you have ADHD,
1635
00:59:16.840 --> 00:59:18.960
when you get more inflamed,
1636
00:59:18.960 --> 00:59:21.480
then you need to tighten the belt a little bit,
1637
00:59:21.480 --> 00:59:24.320
in terms of the routines, your disciplines.
1638
00:59:24.320 --> 00:59:26.200
So I call this dynamic dosing.
1639
00:59:26.200 --> 00:59:27.040
Okay.
1640
00:59:27.040 --> 00:59:28.640
You dial in, dial out.
1641
00:59:28.640 --> 00:59:29.960
When you're in sleep,
1642
00:59:29.960 --> 00:59:32.120
do we have to have perfect sleep all the time?
1643
00:59:32.120 --> 00:59:35.800
No, you can get away with by doing some basic stuff,
1644
00:59:35.840 --> 00:59:37.840
and then once you get the pad, but down,
1645
00:59:37.840 --> 00:59:39.440
you can loosen the reins a little bit.
1646
00:59:39.440 --> 00:59:40.240
But then all of a sudden,
1647
00:59:40.240 --> 00:59:42.240
you may have some extra stressors come in.
1648
00:59:42.240 --> 00:59:43.680
So when you love got hurt,
1649
00:59:43.680 --> 00:59:45.280
something else is happening over there.
1650
00:59:45.280 --> 00:59:47.200
Well, now it's time to tighten the belt again.
1651
00:59:47.200 --> 00:59:48.920
You got to like re-establish.
1652
00:59:48.920 --> 00:59:51.520
And so that's a kind of breathing pattern,
1653
00:59:51.520 --> 00:59:53.680
I got to discipline it up.
1654
00:59:53.680 --> 00:59:55.720
And then things get a little bit easier,
1655
00:59:55.720 --> 00:59:57.240
I can loosen it up a little bit.
1656
00:59:57.240 --> 00:59:59.680
But you have to always listen to your body,
1657
00:59:59.680 --> 01:00:01.720
and that's your ultimate guide.
1658
01:00:01.720 --> 01:00:03.280
Our minds will bullshit us,
1659
01:00:03.280 --> 01:00:04.520
our bodies never do.
1660
01:00:04.520 --> 01:00:05.360
Yeah.
1661
01:00:05.400 --> 01:00:07.040
You just got to get good at reading your bottle.
1662
01:00:07.040 --> 01:00:08.320
And paying attention to it.
1663
01:00:08.320 --> 01:00:09.360
Yeah, for sure.
1664
01:00:09.360 --> 01:00:12.040
So listen, a couple of things is because of my issue,
1665
01:00:12.040 --> 01:00:13.160
I can hear the dogs going off.
1666
01:00:13.160 --> 01:00:16.960
And so I want to recognize that in order.
1667
01:00:16.960 --> 01:00:18.160
We'll let the dogs out.
1668
01:00:18.160 --> 01:00:19.760
I'm like, what's up?
1669
01:00:19.760 --> 01:00:21.280
Everybody's seat up?
1670
01:00:21.280 --> 01:00:23.040
Okay, so how do we find you?
1671
01:00:23.040 --> 01:00:26.000
I know you've got some continuing courses coming out.
1672
01:00:26.000 --> 01:00:28.880
They're going to become releasing next year sometime,
1673
01:00:28.880 --> 01:00:31.080
but it's Santa Barbara Psychiatry.
1674
01:00:31.080 --> 01:00:32.480
Yeah, we're actually in transition.
1675
01:00:32.480 --> 01:00:34.560
We're making a new website right now.
1676
01:00:34.560 --> 01:00:36.600
We're literally, I have my mirror set up
1677
01:00:36.600 --> 01:00:38.840
and my map and all that kind of stuff.
1678
01:00:38.840 --> 01:00:40.040
I am on Twitter.
1679
01:00:40.040 --> 01:00:42.480
To follow me on there, I'm Mans MD on Twitter.
1680
01:00:42.480 --> 01:00:43.480
Mans MD.
1681
01:00:43.480 --> 01:00:45.640
And my Dr. Mans website, again,
1682
01:00:45.640 --> 01:00:46.880
we're in construction right now,
1683
01:00:46.880 --> 01:00:49.600
is to teach people that the mind and the body,
1684
01:00:49.600 --> 01:00:51.400
how powerful when they work together,
1685
01:00:51.400 --> 01:00:54.240
both using your nutrition, your lifestyle,
1686
01:00:54.240 --> 01:00:56.040
and all of that, that you can really,
1687
01:00:56.040 --> 01:00:58.400
really change and transform your life.
1688
01:00:58.400 --> 01:01:01.280
I'm really happy about your podcast here.
1689
01:01:01.280 --> 01:01:04.040
And showing how we can take the adversities
1690
01:01:04.040 --> 01:01:05.120
that we face and all the,
1691
01:01:05.120 --> 01:01:07.960
and what we think is pathologies actually can be gifts,
1692
01:01:07.960 --> 01:01:10.200
and give us the greatest meaning that we ever have,
1693
01:01:10.200 --> 01:01:11.400
because that's what we're finding here.
1694
01:01:11.400 --> 01:01:14.800
And it's been a blessing to actually be the first guest.
1695
01:01:14.800 --> 01:01:16.560
But it's also been a blessing because for me,
1696
01:01:16.560 --> 01:01:19.240
I think that's why I felt so connected to you,
1697
01:01:19.240 --> 01:01:21.720
so immediately we validated that I had ADHD
1698
01:01:21.720 --> 01:01:24.320
after I diagnosed myself eight years earlier,
1699
01:01:24.320 --> 01:01:27.120
and then recognized that we shared
1700
01:01:27.120 --> 01:01:28.520
a similar worldview around it,
1701
01:01:28.520 --> 01:01:30.400
that it's kind of made us work fun and playful.
1702
01:01:30.400 --> 01:01:33.880
And it made me want to make better friends
1703
01:01:33.880 --> 01:01:35.280
with you, so here we are.
1704
01:01:35.280 --> 01:01:38.920
So I do find that that was like a gift to even just for us.
1705
01:01:38.920 --> 01:01:41.400
Yeah, well, we're in the same tribe.
1706
01:01:41.400 --> 01:01:42.640
We are the tribe.
1707
01:01:42.640 --> 01:01:43.640
Join the tribe.
1708
01:01:43.640 --> 01:01:45.560
Don't be afraid of the tribe, people.
1709
01:01:45.560 --> 01:01:47.600
Anyway, thank you, Slay.
1710
01:01:47.600 --> 01:01:48.600
I appreciate it, Michael.
1711
01:01:48.600 --> 01:01:50.360
Yeah, that was wonderful.
1712
01:01:50.360 --> 01:01:51.200
Thank you.