1
00:00:02,480 --> 00:00:05,779
Hello, and welcome, Inspired podcast community.
2
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:07,459
This is your new episode.
3
00:00:07,519 --> 00:00:11,519
My name is Caroline, and my today's guest is
Stevie Dawn Carter.
4
00:00:11,519 --> 00:00:15,294
And I'm so happy that you are here, that you
made it.
5
00:00:15,294 --> 00:00:16,835
How are you doing today?
6
00:00:17,454 --> 00:00:19,554
I am doing good today.
7
00:00:19,695 --> 00:00:21,554
I am doing very good today.
8
00:00:21,614 --> 00:00:29,070
Excited for a great day of meetings and
connecting with people, so gonna be a good one.
9
00:00:29,789 --> 00:00:32,129
Oh, thank you so much for saying yes.
10
00:00:32,189 --> 00:00:35,710
And I also love connecting with people like
you.
11
00:00:35,710 --> 00:00:38,189
For example, I'm so happy I found you.
12
00:00:38,189 --> 00:00:41,090
It was an accident, I think, or not an
accident.
13
00:00:41,149 --> 00:00:42,814
There are no such things.
14
00:00:42,814 --> 00:00:46,254
But I was scrolling on a page, and there there
was you.
15
00:00:46,254 --> 00:00:51,934
And I remember you contacted me on LinkedIn to
do a voting for you.
16
00:00:51,934 --> 00:00:52,655
This was it.
17
00:00:52,655 --> 00:00:55,979
And then I asked if you want to do a podcast
interview.
18
00:00:55,979 --> 00:01:01,500
I'm so happy that we are here today, and I
would like to introduce you to the audience, of
19
00:01:01,500 --> 00:01:02,000
course.
20
00:01:02,460 --> 00:01:09,015
You are a seasoned entrepreneur, nationally
acclaimed speaker, and best-selling author with
21
00:01:09,015 --> 00:01:10,954
over 20 years of experience.
22
00:01:11,415 --> 00:01:16,075
You are the CEO of Empathic and a five-time
business owner.
23
00:01:16,295 --> 00:01:21,920
You are a leading advocate of the power of
emotional intelligence in transforming
24
00:01:22,380 --> 00:01:23,920
communication and leadership.
25
00:01:24,540 --> 00:01:25,040
Okay.
26
00:01:25,819 --> 00:01:28,799
I want to know things from you, of course.
27
00:01:29,020 --> 00:01:35,359
For example, how do you see the role of
emotional intelligence evolving in leadership
28
00:01:35,900 --> 00:01:36,400
today?
29
00:01:37,954 --> 00:01:38,275
Yeah.
30
00:01:38,275 --> 00:01:46,834
I think that emotional intelligence has always
been important as a leadership skill, but I
31
00:01:46,834 --> 00:01:56,769
feel like in today's generation, today's
society, today's diverse global economy, it's
32
00:01:56,769 --> 00:02:05,954
even more needed and useful because it allows
us to truly make sure we're hearing what people
33
00:02:05,954 --> 00:02:13,955
are intending, that we're paying attention to
their words and their thoughts and not always
34
00:02:13,955 --> 00:02:22,340
just reacting with our emotions or with the
emotions we feel that they are bringing to a
35
00:02:22,340 --> 00:02:22,840
conversation.
36
00:02:23,139 --> 00:02:30,340
And I think, especially after the shared trauma
we all went through four years ago with the
37
00:02:30,340 --> 00:02:40,014
pandemic, I feel that we as a society, we as a
global network need to find ways to communicate
38
00:02:40,014 --> 00:02:40,415
better.
39
00:02:40,415 --> 00:02:46,735
So I think it's so important for leadership
because we're bringing all of ourselves into
40
00:02:46,735 --> 00:02:47,489
work these days.
41
00:02:47,489 --> 00:02:50,229
We're throwing ourselves into work these days.
42
00:02:50,610 --> 00:02:55,650
And as leaders, we need to know how to
communicate with people and truly hear and
43
00:02:55,650 --> 00:02:58,069
listen to people on a daily basis.
44
00:02:58,849 --> 00:03:00,610
Oh, that's so true what you said.
45
00:03:00,610 --> 00:03:02,229
Thank you so much for mentioning.
46
00:03:02,625 --> 00:03:09,125
I understood that when we communicate with
others, we often put or we always put our own
47
00:03:09,185 --> 00:03:13,424
filters to it, and then we see it through a
different lens.
48
00:03:13,424 --> 00:03:14,644
It's our perspective.
49
00:03:14,784 --> 00:03:15,284
Right?
50
00:03:15,379 --> 00:03:20,819
And then to shift the perspective to the other
person we are talking to or with, and then this
51
00:03:20,819 --> 00:03:25,300
is the skill or the how do we want to call it?
52
00:03:25,300 --> 00:03:26,520
I don't know the word.
53
00:03:27,860 --> 00:03:28,180
Yeah.
54
00:03:28,180 --> 00:03:28,664
No.
55
00:03:28,745 --> 00:03:29,144
Skill.
56
00:03:29,144 --> 00:03:29,644
Absolutely.
57
00:03:29,864 --> 00:03:32,584
Because it's something you have to learn to do.
58
00:03:32,584 --> 00:03:36,125
I don't think it's anything we have naturally.
59
00:03:36,344 --> 00:03:43,199
I think as people, we are naturally concerned
with ourselves and not always with other
60
00:03:43,199 --> 00:03:43,699
people.
61
00:03:43,919 --> 00:03:51,919
So I think that it is a skill to be able to
look at communication through their lens and
62
00:03:51,919 --> 00:03:52,900
not our own.
63
00:03:53,694 --> 00:03:54,735
Oh, that's so true.
64
00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:57,155
And you give me hope we can learn this.
65
00:03:58,094 --> 00:03:59,555
We can yeah.
66
00:03:59,775 --> 00:04:00,275
Yeah.
67
00:04:00,415 --> 00:04:00,915
Absolutely.
68
00:04:01,375 --> 00:04:01,875
Absolutely.
69
00:04:02,254 --> 00:04:12,389
In fact, I think for most of us, it's not
something we are just good at or born with.
70
00:04:12,389 --> 00:04:15,509
I think it is something we truly have to learn.
71
00:04:15,509 --> 00:04:21,910
And so I think that's why trainings such as our
company and what we do or other people's
72
00:04:21,910 --> 00:04:24,735
trainings or books or LinkedIn Learning.
73
00:04:25,914 --> 00:04:31,595
These are why this is why these topics keep
coming up for people is because it is something
74
00:04:31,595 --> 00:04:33,454
you have to learn and you have to practice.
75
00:04:34,634 --> 00:04:35,115
Yes.
76
00:04:35,115 --> 00:04:35,615
Absolutely.
77
00:04:36,229 --> 00:04:36,629
Okay.
78
00:04:36,629 --> 00:04:38,649
Let's take a look at the next question.
79
00:04:40,389 --> 00:04:47,189
We have, you have a strong academic background
with a master's in sociology and a doctorate in
80
00:04:47,189 --> 00:04:52,464
leadership, yet your approach is known for
being highly practical and relatable.
81
00:04:52,845 --> 00:04:58,685
How do you bridge the gap between academic
theories and real-world application in your
82
00:04:58,685 --> 00:05:00,464
speaking and training sessions?
83
00:05:00,685 --> 00:05:06,149
Can you share a specific example where this
blend made a significant impact?
84
00:05:06,850 --> 00:05:07,350
Yeah.
85
00:05:07,970 --> 00:05:17,654
So I think for me, my academics allows me to
look at data and say, is what I am seeing in
86
00:05:17,654 --> 00:05:19,115
the world truthful?
87
00:05:19,654 --> 00:05:21,814
Is it something I can prove?
88
00:05:21,814 --> 00:05:28,399
Is it something that really exists, or is it
just me and my own personal thoughts or
89
00:05:28,399 --> 00:05:29,279
personal ideas?
90
00:05:29,279 --> 00:05:40,579
And so anytime I have a theory such as, I do
believe that people have a hard time separating
91
00:05:41,279 --> 00:05:46,254
themselves from their emotions, that emotions
cloud what we do.
92
00:05:46,254 --> 00:05:47,714
I see that in myself.
93
00:05:47,774 --> 00:05:49,214
I see that in my family.
94
00:05:49,214 --> 00:05:50,435
I see that at work.
95
00:05:50,814 --> 00:05:57,214
But then I can go to the research and I can
show data that says that's not just my
96
00:05:57,214 --> 00:05:57,689
thoughts.
97
00:05:57,930 --> 00:06:03,850
Those are actual things that have been studied
that have been verified by scientific research,
98
00:06:03,850 --> 00:06:12,584
and I think that that gives people more trust
in the things that I'm teaching are not just
99
00:06:12,904 --> 00:06:18,764
anecdotal, but have been researched and are
things that there is science to back up.
100
00:06:18,985 --> 00:06:24,524
And so, one of the ones that I use a lot is
listening.
101
00:06:25,540 --> 00:06:32,979
I think that we don't listen as much as we
think that we do, and there is research to
102
00:06:32,979 --> 00:06:33,779
support that.
103
00:06:33,779 --> 00:06:37,560
It's not just me saying we need to listen
better.
104
00:06:37,779 --> 00:06:45,235
I can show statistics on people only hear about
30% of what they—or sorry.
105
00:06:45,235 --> 00:06:48,455
They only read about 30% of your email.
106
00:06:48,995 --> 00:06:52,355
They only listen to about 50 to 60% of what you
say.
107
00:06:52,355 --> 00:06:55,270
There's science that backs that up.
108
00:06:55,270 --> 00:06:58,730
So I'm not just saying we need to listen
better.
109
00:06:59,110 --> 00:07:01,350
I can show you the research that says, no.
110
00:07:01,350 --> 00:07:04,550
We really do need to listen better.
111
00:07:04,550 --> 00:07:06,310
We don't do a good job of listening.
112
00:07:06,310 --> 00:07:12,564
And so I think that's what I try and do is put
out my own ideas, but then research them to
113
00:07:12,564 --> 00:07:18,504
make sure they are conclusive and that there's
science to back up the things that I say.
114
00:07:19,060 --> 00:07:20,019
Oh, I love that.
115
00:07:20,019 --> 00:07:21,240
I love the combination.
116
00:07:21,379 --> 00:07:23,079
So it's not just an opinion.
117
00:07:23,540 --> 00:07:25,699
It has to do with research as well.
118
00:07:25,699 --> 00:07:29,000
And it's not only the result of the studies.
119
00:07:29,379 --> 00:07:33,000
You have methods and experiments, so to say.
120
00:07:33,175 --> 00:07:39,655
And today, I came across an interesting
sentence is when a scientist is doing research
121
00:07:39,655 --> 00:07:45,175
and look at things, then by observing the
things, the results change.
122
00:07:45,175 --> 00:07:50,670
So I don't know what because you did research
what you think about this.
123
00:07:51,210 --> 00:07:51,610
Yes.
124
00:07:51,610 --> 00:07:52,110
Absolutely.
125
00:07:52,330 --> 00:07:58,810
So there's an idea that as humans, we can't
separate ourselves from the things that we
126
00:07:58,810 --> 00:07:59,290
study.
127
00:07:59,290 --> 00:08:06,634
So if I am studying humans, just me being in
the room with those humans changes how those
128
00:08:06,634 --> 00:08:10,794
humans interact because there's different
energy and different thought processes.
129
00:08:10,794 --> 00:08:15,839
So just by researching, we are changing the
research as we do it.
130
00:08:15,839 --> 00:08:25,040
So I think you have to try real hard to use
outside research sources, and then conduct your
131
00:08:25,040 --> 00:08:30,865
own experiments or your own trials, but
understanding that when you're involved, it
132
00:08:30,865 --> 00:08:34,964
will automatically change because we can't
separate ourselves from other humans.
133
00:08:35,424 --> 00:08:36,065
Oh, yes.
134
00:08:36,065 --> 00:08:36,865
That's so true.
135
00:08:36,865 --> 00:08:38,784
Thank you for pointing that out.
136
00:08:38,784 --> 00:08:44,804
Now I understand the sentence I read today, and
it is so fascinating, you know, the research
137
00:08:44,945 --> 00:08:51,679
part and all the other or what every one of us
makes of it when we hear a certain sentence and
138
00:08:51,679 --> 00:08:53,700
everyone has a different perspective.
139
00:08:54,080 --> 00:08:55,139
It's so interesting.
140
00:08:55,279 --> 00:08:56,320
Thank you so much.
141
00:08:56,320 --> 00:08:56,720
Okay.
142
00:08:56,720 --> 00:08:58,100
I have the next question.
143
00:08:58,160 --> 00:09:04,534
Of course, as a five-time business owner,
you've experienced the highs and lows of
144
00:09:04,534 --> 00:09:05,034
entrepreneurship.
145
00:09:05,735 --> 00:09:11,095
What are some of the biggest challenges you
faced in your entrepreneurial journey, and how
146
00:09:11,095 --> 00:09:15,809
did emotional intelligence play a role in
overcoming those challenges?
147
00:09:16,110 --> 00:09:21,570
What advice do you have for other entrepreneurs
looking to build resilient businesses?
148
00:09:22,269 --> 00:09:22,769
Yeah.
149
00:09:23,790 --> 00:09:34,475
I would say my first challenge that I faced was
understanding how a sales conversation can
150
00:09:34,475 --> 00:09:34,794
work.
151
00:09:34,794 --> 00:09:40,074
I think that a lot of us go into
entrepreneurship because we have a gift or a
152
00:09:40,074 --> 00:09:44,095
service or a belief, something that we want to
provide to the world.
153
00:09:44,399 --> 00:09:47,620
But if you're truly going to run a business, it
has to make you money.
154
00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:53,919
And the first challenge I faced was not
understanding how to make money doing what I
155
00:09:53,919 --> 00:09:54,899
wanted to do.
156
00:09:55,360 --> 00:10:03,514
And I think for me, emotional intelligence
helped there because once I did learn how to
157
00:10:03,514 --> 00:10:10,154
talk about money and how to talk about
business, then I was able to layer that with
158
00:10:10,154 --> 00:10:14,875
the emotional intelligence I already had to
have better conversations and make better
159
00:10:14,875 --> 00:10:15,375
connections.
160
00:10:15,434 --> 00:10:18,549
So a lot of my clients have been long-term
clients.
161
00:10:18,850 --> 00:10:20,289
I don't just call them clients.
162
00:10:20,289 --> 00:10:21,750
They are friends of mine.
163
00:10:22,610 --> 00:10:27,909
And that is because I have been able to grow
those relationships with emotional intelligence
164
00:10:28,610 --> 00:10:31,909
on top of the sales process that I had to
learn.
165
00:10:33,485 --> 00:10:40,445
I would say the second biggest challenge I
faced was during the pandemic as somebody who
166
00:10:40,445 --> 00:10:42,625
speaks for a living in large groups.
167
00:10:43,325 --> 00:10:46,350
There was a whole year where none of that
occurred.
168
00:10:47,450 --> 00:10:54,509
We had to be resilient as a business, and I
don't know that I would have been as resilient
169
00:10:54,889 --> 00:10:57,789
if not forced into those situations.
170
00:10:58,570 --> 00:11:01,230
Not sure I would have just thought of them by
myself.
171
00:11:02,535 --> 00:11:11,095
So once we were faced with that, really looking
at how do we continue to provide service even
172
00:11:11,095 --> 00:11:15,820
in different ways, thinking outside the box,
thinking about what do people need.
173
00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:22,220
And so being able to take what was
traditionally an all face-to-face business and
174
00:11:22,279 --> 00:11:29,434
start offering online programming, online
courses, online webinars, and then also how to
175
00:11:29,434 --> 00:11:32,894
take care of myself during those times.
176
00:11:32,955 --> 00:11:38,875
I think sometimes when we think about
resilience as an entrepreneur, we think about
177
00:11:38,875 --> 00:11:43,519
the business and it being resilient when it has
a bad year or bad quarter, and I think that's
178
00:11:43,519 --> 00:11:44,019
important.
179
00:11:44,799 --> 00:11:49,299
But the only true way for a business to be
resilient is if you are resilient.
180
00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:56,355
So for me, it was figuring out how to still
have fun even though things were tough.
181
00:11:56,595 --> 00:12:03,235
It was about finding joy and peace in the
little things and making sure that I didn't get
182
00:12:03,235 --> 00:12:11,154
so stuck in business going poorly that I forgot
that I have a whole life outside of business
183
00:12:11,154 --> 00:12:11,654
too.
184
00:12:12,179 --> 00:12:18,419
And so I think for entrepreneurs, one of my
pieces of advice to be more resilient is never
185
00:12:18,419 --> 00:12:21,879
let your business become everything in your
world.
186
00:12:22,419 --> 00:12:28,125
While it is your baby and your most important
thing, you still have family, you still have
187
00:12:28,125 --> 00:12:33,485
friends, you still have health, you still have
faith, and all of those things are things that
188
00:12:33,485 --> 00:12:36,445
you should lean on when business gets tough.
189
00:12:36,445 --> 00:12:38,705
So you gotta make sure that they're still
there.
190
00:12:39,950 --> 00:12:41,149
Oh, thank you so much.
191
00:12:41,149 --> 00:12:45,470
You shared so many messages and nuggets in your
answers.
192
00:12:45,470 --> 00:12:51,330
First of all, you pointed out how important the
connection is between emotional intelligence
193
00:12:51,629 --> 00:12:53,090
and the sales process.
194
00:12:53,230 --> 00:13:03,204
Let's say you made friends out of your clients,
then you talked about the pandemic and said how
195
00:13:03,204 --> 00:13:08,105
you transferred your business to an online
business selling courses.
196
00:13:08,389 --> 00:13:17,029
And I love how we all invented ourselves new
during the pandemic, taking the chance as an
197
00:13:17,029 --> 00:13:20,710
opportunity, not as failure or I don't know.
198
00:13:20,710 --> 00:13:30,675
You said, at last, you said that we have to
detach from our business sometimes emotionally
199
00:13:30,894 --> 00:13:35,555
that it is not all that it doesn't become our
whole life.
200
00:13:36,175 --> 00:13:43,129
You know, when it breaks down or falls apart,
then it affects our whole personality.
201
00:13:43,429 --> 00:13:44,870
And this is not what we want.
202
00:13:44,870 --> 00:13:51,289
You also talked about self-care, and you did
not use the word.
203
00:13:51,509 --> 00:13:57,985
But I love the word self-care in that we look
for ourselves not as an entrepreneur.
204
00:13:59,164 --> 00:14:01,105
We don't identify completely.
205
00:14:01,485 --> 00:14:02,865
You mentioned the family.
206
00:14:02,924 --> 00:14:03,745
It's important.
207
00:14:04,444 --> 00:14:05,725
Also, there's a family.
208
00:14:05,725 --> 00:14:08,460
There are people who want to connect.
209
00:14:08,779 --> 00:14:16,220
And, also, what I loved, you talked about trust
in the sales process, gaining the trust of the
210
00:14:16,220 --> 00:14:22,865
people, and then it's easy to promote your
products or services.
211
00:14:22,924 --> 00:14:28,465
Let's say, you said you make a living out of
speaking.
212
00:14:28,684 --> 00:14:32,465
Speaking is your passion.
213
00:14:32,764 --> 00:14:33,264
Right?
214
00:14:33,644 --> 00:14:33,960
Yeah.
215
00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:35,480
I love that so much.
216
00:14:35,480 --> 00:14:37,399
I have another question for you.
217
00:14:37,399 --> 00:14:38,460
I'm so excited.
218
00:14:38,519 --> 00:14:39,960
Thank you so much again.
219
00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:45,720
And I have to relisten to this episode because
there are so many things to learn in it.
220
00:14:45,720 --> 00:14:46,120
Yes.
221
00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:51,934
For me, for other people, our listeners, your
speaking style is known for its engaging
222
00:14:52,154 --> 00:14:53,455
stories and humor.
223
00:14:53,674 --> 00:14:58,875
How do you use storytelling and humor to
connect with your audience and drive home the
224
00:14:58,875 --> 00:15:01,054
importance of emotional intelligence?
225
00:15:01,509 --> 00:15:07,350
Can you share a memorable moment from one of
your speaking engagements where this approach
226
00:15:07,350 --> 00:15:10,169
had a profound impact on your audience?
227
00:15:11,190 --> 00:15:11,690
Yes.
228
00:15:12,949 --> 00:15:19,625
So I believe that storytelling is what connects
us as humans.
229
00:15:19,764 --> 00:15:28,485
Because when we tell a story, people can feel
that they are part of the process, part of the
230
00:15:28,485 --> 00:15:28,985
learning.
231
00:15:29,660 --> 00:15:35,660
And when people see themselves in what you're
talking about, they're more likely to listen
232
00:15:35,660 --> 00:15:37,600
and they're more likely to learn.
233
00:15:37,899 --> 00:15:47,125
And so for me, I always plan my speeches based
on a handful of stories, looking for stories
234
00:15:47,125 --> 00:15:53,445
that are examples of different things I'm
trying to teach or looking for moments where I
235
00:15:53,445 --> 00:16:01,259
can bring people into a story that they
resonate with, that's relevant to them,
236
00:16:01,259 --> 00:16:03,200
something that is a shared experience.
237
00:16:03,820 --> 00:16:10,605
I think that one of the things that we don't
think about enough as humans is that while we
238
00:16:10,605 --> 00:16:16,384
are all different and we're very diverse,
there's still a lot of similarities between
239
00:16:16,445 --> 00:16:18,044
every person on this earth.
240
00:16:18,044 --> 00:16:24,370
And when we can find ways to talk about those
and share those, we bridge the gap between
241
00:16:24,370 --> 00:16:29,889
somebody feeling like they're over there as an
audience member and I'm over here as a speaker.
242
00:16:29,889 --> 00:16:33,910
And we bridge that gap and really focus on both
of us as humans.
243
00:16:34,050 --> 00:16:47,115
So I think one of my most memorable moments of
that is I told a story about how people don't
244
00:16:47,115 --> 00:16:50,350
listen as much as we think that they should.
245
00:16:50,810 --> 00:16:57,070
And I always use the same story to give this
example.
246
00:16:57,769 --> 00:17:02,350
And no matter what group I use it with, I have
used it internationally.
247
00:17:03,235 --> 00:17:06,134
I have used it with non-native English
speakers.
248
00:17:06,755 --> 00:17:09,255
I have used it with teenagers.
249
00:17:09,474 --> 00:17:11,095
I have used it with adults.
250
00:17:11,555 --> 00:17:20,099
No matter who hears the story, people
understand what I am trying to achieve with the
251
00:17:20,099 --> 00:17:20,599
story.
252
00:17:20,660 --> 00:17:24,920
And I think that that's what makes it impactful
is that it's universal.
253
00:17:25,859 --> 00:17:31,964
And I think there have been several times where
people have come up to me after the story and
254
00:17:31,964 --> 00:17:34,125
said, that's happened to me.
255
00:17:34,125 --> 00:17:35,984
I've had that situation.
256
00:17:36,845 --> 00:17:38,525
I knew exactly what you meant.
257
00:17:38,525 --> 00:17:44,940
And when you can have audience members connect
with you that way, you know that you've done a
258
00:17:44,940 --> 00:17:45,920
really good job.
259
00:17:46,140 --> 00:17:50,559
So the story is a simple story of me and my
husband.
260
00:17:51,980 --> 00:17:58,825
We had moved into a new house, and we were
going through a list of all the things that had
261
00:17:58,825 --> 00:17:59,304
changed.
262
00:17:59,304 --> 00:18:03,144
When you move into a new house, things just
happen at different times.
263
00:18:03,144 --> 00:18:09,059
The trash guy comes at a different time, and
the post comes at a different time, and the
264
00:18:09,059 --> 00:18:13,059
newspaper's dropped off in a different
location, and all of these things are
265
00:18:13,059 --> 00:18:13,559
different.
266
00:18:14,180 --> 00:18:19,880
And so I remember sitting on the couch, and I
said, it's trash day tomorrow.
267
00:18:21,335 --> 00:18:23,195
And he said, yep.
268
00:18:25,494 --> 00:18:33,015
And what I meant by that was, I think you need
to go take out the trash because it's trash day
269
00:18:33,015 --> 00:18:33,515
tomorrow.
270
00:18:34,049 --> 00:18:39,110
But what he heard was just a statement of, oh,
it's trash day tomorrow.
271
00:18:39,890 --> 00:18:40,630
No question.
272
00:18:41,330 --> 00:18:44,870
And I think that that happens to us a lot when
we communicate.
273
00:18:45,650 --> 00:18:47,355
We think we're being clear.
274
00:18:47,355 --> 00:18:53,355
We think we're giving people the information
they need, but they may not hear it with all
275
00:18:53,355 --> 00:18:56,494
the extra stuff that we didn't actually say.
276
00:18:56,954 --> 00:19:00,095
Because I never asked him to take out the
trash.
277
00:19:00,409 --> 00:19:03,069
I just made an assumption that that's what
would happen.
278
00:19:03,450 --> 00:19:06,490
And I think for a lot of us, that happens a
lot.
279
00:19:06,490 --> 00:19:13,549
And so I use that story all over the place and
people always can say, I've had that situation
280
00:19:13,609 --> 00:19:20,875
happen to me where I said something, I thought
it was clear, but then I realized that I hadn't
281
00:19:20,934 --> 00:19:25,174
really asked what I meant to ask or I didn't
say what I'd meant to say.
282
00:19:25,174 --> 00:19:29,994
And so I think stories like that are the ones
that stick with people the most.
283
00:19:31,039 --> 00:19:31,519
Wow.
284
00:19:31,519 --> 00:19:34,159
Thank you so much for sharing it.
285
00:19:34,159 --> 00:19:39,759
So what I understand is you prepare your
speeches by selecting stories you want to tell,
286
00:19:39,759 --> 00:19:45,315
and then you have to fill in the gaps or the
bridges between the stories you tell.
287
00:19:45,315 --> 00:19:48,595
And then you let the audience connect to your
story.
288
00:19:48,595 --> 00:19:57,119
And I think also the feeling that no one or
they can feel included by they feel, I don't
289
00:19:57,119 --> 00:19:58,480
know, heard and seen.
290
00:19:58,480 --> 00:19:59,119
You said this.
291
00:19:59,119 --> 00:20:05,039
And then when they connect and they share their
experience, then there's the magic.
292
00:20:05,039 --> 00:20:06,319
The magic is happening.
293
00:20:06,319 --> 00:20:06,639
Right?
294
00:20:06,639 --> 00:20:12,164
And then it opens the doors for further
conversations also.
295
00:20:12,544 --> 00:20:14,005
I love that so much.
296
00:20:14,144 --> 00:20:15,505
What else did you say?
297
00:20:15,505 --> 00:20:15,904
Yes.
298
00:20:15,904 --> 00:20:19,444
For example, to always communicate what we
really want.
299
00:20:19,664 --> 00:20:22,325
I had this word in mind, call to action.
300
00:20:22,944 --> 00:20:24,625
You have this call to action.
301
00:20:24,625 --> 00:20:27,799
Please bring the trash out or whatever you say.
302
00:20:27,799 --> 00:20:28,700
I don't know.
303
00:20:29,799 --> 00:20:30,039
Yes.
304
00:20:30,039 --> 00:20:31,019
It's so beautiful.
305
00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:32,200
Thank you so much.
306
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:37,160
I learned something, and my next question is
about your goals.
307
00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:39,980
Do you set goals for yourself or intentions?
308
00:20:40,360 --> 00:20:42,555
And what is one of your next goals?
309
00:20:43,255 --> 00:20:44,955
How can we support you?
310
00:20:45,494 --> 00:20:47,434
Oh, that's sweet of you to ask.
311
00:20:48,375 --> 00:20:58,750
I don't set a lot of goals because I feel that
it drives me to overwork, which I don't like to
312
00:20:58,750 --> 00:20:59,069
do.
313
00:20:59,069 --> 00:21:02,289
I like to balance my work life and my personal
life.
314
00:21:03,309 --> 00:21:11,154
So what I do every year is I set what's called
a feeling goal, and that is how do I want to
315
00:21:11,154 --> 00:21:13,575
feel at the end of the year.
316
00:21:13,954 --> 00:21:15,794
How do I want to feel about business?
317
00:21:15,794 --> 00:21:17,554
How do I want to feel about life?
318
00:21:17,554 --> 00:21:24,009
And then throughout my year, I try and do
things that help me achieve that feeling so
319
00:21:24,009 --> 00:21:28,089
that at the end of the year, I can look back
and say I achieved that.
320
00:21:28,089 --> 00:21:37,529
So, last year in 2023, my goal was to feel at
peace with my business, at peace with my
321
00:21:37,529 --> 00:21:44,904
family, just to not have a lot of anger or
resentment, but to let all of that go and just
322
00:21:44,904 --> 00:21:45,724
be at peace.
323
00:21:46,345 --> 00:21:47,305
I achieved that.
324
00:21:47,305 --> 00:21:51,299
It was a wonderful year and a great feeling at
the end of the year.
325
00:21:52,019 --> 00:21:55,240
This year, my goal is rediscovery.
326
00:21:56,100 --> 00:22:02,279
I want to rediscover things that are meaningful
to me, rediscover friendships and connections,
327
00:22:02,980 --> 00:22:07,080
and I want to feel at the end of the year that
this was a season of rediscovery.
328
00:22:08,075 --> 00:22:13,434
And so I am trying to do things every week,
every month that allow me to rediscover things
329
00:22:13,434 --> 00:22:16,894
about myself or about my life that maybe I've
forgotten.
330
00:22:17,035 --> 00:22:20,575
So those are the goals that I set for myself.
331
00:22:21,190 --> 00:22:25,609
So I would say, how can you help in achieving
those goals?
332
00:22:26,390 --> 00:22:32,170
I would say, for me, the best way other people
can help me is by doing it for themselves.
333
00:22:33,075 --> 00:22:38,375
So create a feeling goal for yourself for this
week or this month or this year.
334
00:22:38,595 --> 00:22:40,534
How do you want to feel about your business?
335
00:22:40,595 --> 00:22:43,654
How do you want to feel about your
communication and your life?
336
00:22:43,794 --> 00:22:48,919
And then make choices that get you there so
that you're achieving those feelings that you
337
00:22:48,919 --> 00:22:49,159
want.
338
00:22:49,159 --> 00:22:56,220
I think there's a lot of power in our emotions
if we learn that we can choose them.
339
00:22:56,599 --> 00:23:01,815
And that's what my goal is for the world is
that we learn that we can choose our emotions
340
00:23:02,035 --> 00:23:04,775
and we can choose to feel better.
341
00:23:05,075 --> 00:23:07,335
And I think we all need to do that right now.
342
00:23:08,194 --> 00:23:09,095
Oh, absolutely.
343
00:23:09,234 --> 00:23:11,894
And thank you so much for sharing about the
feeling.
344
00:23:12,109 --> 00:23:17,549
We know this feeling is the secret by Neville
Goddard, and there is, I think it was Peggy
345
00:23:17,549 --> 00:23:22,029
McColl saying, now that my wish is fulfilled,
how do I feel?
346
00:23:22,029 --> 00:23:27,410
So you ask yourself every time, how do I feel
now when the wish is fulfilled?
347
00:23:27,734 --> 00:23:33,015
We are often or most of the time talking about
material goals.
348
00:23:33,015 --> 00:23:33,494
Right?
349
00:23:33,494 --> 00:23:38,795
Like a money goal or sports car or a new house,
you mentioned it.
350
00:23:39,095 --> 00:23:40,875
New house or whatever.
351
00:23:41,170 --> 00:23:44,309
And then, of course, it is connected to a
feeling.
352
00:23:44,690 --> 00:23:52,470
And to detach this from the material thing, I
think this is an art and or the process,
353
00:23:52,529 --> 00:23:53,410
something, a skill.
354
00:23:53,410 --> 00:23:54,450
We talked about skills.
355
00:23:54,450 --> 00:23:55,589
You can learn this.
356
00:23:55,714 --> 00:23:56,595
Thank you so much.
357
00:23:56,595 --> 00:23:58,454
I never thought of it that way.
358
00:23:58,755 --> 00:24:05,894
I will set a feeling goal for myself, and I
intend to feel it every evening.
359
00:24:06,195 --> 00:24:12,080
For me, I can share it if you'd like to because
I had the topic earlier this year.
360
00:24:12,080 --> 00:24:15,700
For me, because I asked myself, what is my
favorite feeling?
361
00:24:16,160 --> 00:24:22,500
And my feeling is the feeling of accomplishment
that I get when I whatever I set for the day,
362
00:24:22,559 --> 00:24:28,065
for example, the phone call or reading a book
or whatever, and then the feeling of
363
00:24:28,065 --> 00:24:29,605
accomplishment in the evening.
364
00:24:29,664 --> 00:24:31,605
It's reached.
365
00:24:32,144 --> 00:24:32,464
Yeah.
366
00:24:32,464 --> 00:24:32,784
No.
367
00:24:32,784 --> 00:24:33,605
That's wonderful.
368
00:24:33,744 --> 00:24:34,944
That's a great goal.
369
00:24:34,944 --> 00:24:36,164
I love that for you.
370
00:24:36,784 --> 00:24:37,825
Thank you so much.
371
00:24:37,825 --> 00:24:42,460
And now it's time for your last thoughts to the
audience, please.
372
00:24:43,559 --> 00:24:51,799
Well, I would say, my last thoughts are since
we are talking about being inspired, I would
373
00:24:51,799 --> 00:24:57,105
say that my last thoughts are to always
remember that you are an inspiration to someone
374
00:24:57,105 --> 00:24:57,605
else.
375
00:24:58,465 --> 00:25:04,705
I don't always think that we realize that we
are inspiring others through things as simple
376
00:25:04,705 --> 00:25:12,809
as a smile or opening a door or calling
somebody or checking on somebody, but we
377
00:25:12,809 --> 00:25:14,329
inspire people daily.
378
00:25:14,329 --> 00:25:20,569
And I think we need to remember that we are not
only seeking inspiration, but we are an
379
00:25:20,569 --> 00:25:21,069
inspiration.
380
00:25:22,410 --> 00:25:22,910
Wow.
381
00:25:23,130 --> 00:25:24,190
That's so wonderful.
382
00:25:24,329 --> 00:25:25,684
I'm speechless now.
383
00:25:25,744 --> 00:25:27,845
Thank you so much for our interview.
384
00:25:28,065 --> 00:25:30,065
This was Stevie Dawn Carter.
385
00:25:30,065 --> 00:25:32,404
I'm so happy that you said yes.
386
00:25:33,105 --> 00:25:33,924
Thank you.
387
00:25:34,784 --> 00:25:37,044
And see you in the next episode.
00:00:02,480 --> 00:00:05,779
Hello, and welcome, Inspired podcast community.
2
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:07,459
This is your new episode.
3
00:00:07,519 --> 00:00:11,519
My name is Caroline, and my today's guest is
Stevie Dawn Carter.
4
00:00:11,519 --> 00:00:15,294
And I'm so happy that you are here, that you
made it.
5
00:00:15,294 --> 00:00:16,835
How are you doing today?
6
00:00:17,454 --> 00:00:19,554
I am doing good today.
7
00:00:19,695 --> 00:00:21,554
I am doing very good today.
8
00:00:21,614 --> 00:00:29,070
Excited for a great day of meetings and
connecting with people, so gonna be a good one.
9
00:00:29,789 --> 00:00:32,129
Oh, thank you so much for saying yes.
10
00:00:32,189 --> 00:00:35,710
And I also love connecting with people like
you.
11
00:00:35,710 --> 00:00:38,189
For example, I'm so happy I found you.
12
00:00:38,189 --> 00:00:41,090
It was an accident, I think, or not an
accident.
13
00:00:41,149 --> 00:00:42,814
There are no such things.
14
00:00:42,814 --> 00:00:46,254
But I was scrolling on a page, and there there
was you.
15
00:00:46,254 --> 00:00:51,934
And I remember you contacted me on LinkedIn to
do a voting for you.
16
00:00:51,934 --> 00:00:52,655
This was it.
17
00:00:52,655 --> 00:00:55,979
And then I asked if you want to do a podcast
interview.
18
00:00:55,979 --> 00:01:01,500
I'm so happy that we are here today, and I
would like to introduce you to the audience, of
19
00:01:01,500 --> 00:01:02,000
course.
20
00:01:02,460 --> 00:01:09,015
You are a seasoned entrepreneur, nationally
acclaimed speaker, and best-selling author with
21
00:01:09,015 --> 00:01:10,954
over 20 years of experience.
22
00:01:11,415 --> 00:01:16,075
You are the CEO of Empathic and a five-time
business owner.
23
00:01:16,295 --> 00:01:21,920
You are a leading advocate of the power of
emotional intelligence in transforming
24
00:01:22,380 --> 00:01:23,920
communication and leadership.
25
00:01:24,540 --> 00:01:25,040
Okay.
26
00:01:25,819 --> 00:01:28,799
I want to know things from you, of course.
27
00:01:29,020 --> 00:01:35,359
For example, how do you see the role of
emotional intelligence evolving in leadership
28
00:01:35,900 --> 00:01:36,400
today?
29
00:01:37,954 --> 00:01:38,275
Yeah.
30
00:01:38,275 --> 00:01:46,834
I think that emotional intelligence has always
been important as a leadership skill, but I
31
00:01:46,834 --> 00:01:56,769
feel like in today's generation, today's
society, today's diverse global economy, it's
32
00:01:56,769 --> 00:02:05,954
even more needed and useful because it allows
us to truly make sure we're hearing what people
33
00:02:05,954 --> 00:02:13,955
are intending, that we're paying attention to
their words and their thoughts and not always
34
00:02:13,955 --> 00:02:22,340
just reacting with our emotions or with the
emotions we feel that they are bringing to a
35
00:02:22,340 --> 00:02:22,840
conversation.
36
00:02:23,139 --> 00:02:30,340
And I think, especially after the shared trauma
we all went through four years ago with the
37
00:02:30,340 --> 00:02:40,014
pandemic, I feel that we as a society, we as a
global network need to find ways to communicate
38
00:02:40,014 --> 00:02:40,415
better.
39
00:02:40,415 --> 00:02:46,735
So I think it's so important for leadership
because we're bringing all of ourselves into
40
00:02:46,735 --> 00:02:47,489
work these days.
41
00:02:47,489 --> 00:02:50,229
We're throwing ourselves into work these days.
42
00:02:50,610 --> 00:02:55,650
And as leaders, we need to know how to
communicate with people and truly hear and
43
00:02:55,650 --> 00:02:58,069
listen to people on a daily basis.
44
00:02:58,849 --> 00:03:00,610
Oh, that's so true what you said.
45
00:03:00,610 --> 00:03:02,229
Thank you so much for mentioning.
46
00:03:02,625 --> 00:03:09,125
I understood that when we communicate with
others, we often put or we always put our own
47
00:03:09,185 --> 00:03:13,424
filters to it, and then we see it through a
different lens.
48
00:03:13,424 --> 00:03:14,644
It's our perspective.
49
00:03:14,784 --> 00:03:15,284
Right?
50
00:03:15,379 --> 00:03:20,819
And then to shift the perspective to the other
person we are talking to or with, and then this
51
00:03:20,819 --> 00:03:25,300
is the skill or the how do we want to call it?
52
00:03:25,300 --> 00:03:26,520
I don't know the word.
53
00:03:27,860 --> 00:03:28,180
Yeah.
54
00:03:28,180 --> 00:03:28,664
No.
55
00:03:28,745 --> 00:03:29,144
Skill.
56
00:03:29,144 --> 00:03:29,644
Absolutely.
57
00:03:29,864 --> 00:03:32,584
Because it's something you have to learn to do.
58
00:03:32,584 --> 00:03:36,125
I don't think it's anything we have naturally.
59
00:03:36,344 --> 00:03:43,199
I think as people, we are naturally concerned
with ourselves and not always with other
60
00:03:43,199 --> 00:03:43,699
people.
61
00:03:43,919 --> 00:03:51,919
So I think that it is a skill to be able to
look at communication through their lens and
62
00:03:51,919 --> 00:03:52,900
not our own.
63
00:03:53,694 --> 00:03:54,735
Oh, that's so true.
64
00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:57,155
And you give me hope we can learn this.
65
00:03:58,094 --> 00:03:59,555
We can yeah.
66
00:03:59,775 --> 00:04:00,275
Yeah.
67
00:04:00,415 --> 00:04:00,915
Absolutely.
68
00:04:01,375 --> 00:04:01,875
Absolutely.
69
00:04:02,254 --> 00:04:12,389
In fact, I think for most of us, it's not
something we are just good at or born with.
70
00:04:12,389 --> 00:04:15,509
I think it is something we truly have to learn.
71
00:04:15,509 --> 00:04:21,910
And so I think that's why trainings such as our
company and what we do or other people's
72
00:04:21,910 --> 00:04:24,735
trainings or books or LinkedIn Learning.
73
00:04:25,914 --> 00:04:31,595
These are why this is why these topics keep
coming up for people is because it is something
74
00:04:31,595 --> 00:04:33,454
you have to learn and you have to practice.
75
00:04:34,634 --> 00:04:35,115
Yes.
76
00:04:35,115 --> 00:04:35,615
Absolutely.
77
00:04:36,229 --> 00:04:36,629
Okay.
78
00:04:36,629 --> 00:04:38,649
Let's take a look at the next question.
79
00:04:40,389 --> 00:04:47,189
We have, you have a strong academic background
with a master's in sociology and a doctorate in
80
00:04:47,189 --> 00:04:52,464
leadership, yet your approach is known for
being highly practical and relatable.
81
00:04:52,845 --> 00:04:58,685
How do you bridge the gap between academic
theories and real-world application in your
82
00:04:58,685 --> 00:05:00,464
speaking and training sessions?
83
00:05:00,685 --> 00:05:06,149
Can you share a specific example where this
blend made a significant impact?
84
00:05:06,850 --> 00:05:07,350
Yeah.
85
00:05:07,970 --> 00:05:17,654
So I think for me, my academics allows me to
look at data and say, is what I am seeing in
86
00:05:17,654 --> 00:05:19,115
the world truthful?
87
00:05:19,654 --> 00:05:21,814
Is it something I can prove?
88
00:05:21,814 --> 00:05:28,399
Is it something that really exists, or is it
just me and my own personal thoughts or
89
00:05:28,399 --> 00:05:29,279
personal ideas?
90
00:05:29,279 --> 00:05:40,579
And so anytime I have a theory such as, I do
believe that people have a hard time separating
91
00:05:41,279 --> 00:05:46,254
themselves from their emotions, that emotions
cloud what we do.
92
00:05:46,254 --> 00:05:47,714
I see that in myself.
93
00:05:47,774 --> 00:05:49,214
I see that in my family.
94
00:05:49,214 --> 00:05:50,435
I see that at work.
95
00:05:50,814 --> 00:05:57,214
But then I can go to the research and I can
show data that says that's not just my
96
00:05:57,214 --> 00:05:57,689
thoughts.
97
00:05:57,930 --> 00:06:03,850
Those are actual things that have been studied
that have been verified by scientific research,
98
00:06:03,850 --> 00:06:12,584
and I think that that gives people more trust
in the things that I'm teaching are not just
99
00:06:12,904 --> 00:06:18,764
anecdotal, but have been researched and are
things that there is science to back up.
100
00:06:18,985 --> 00:06:24,524
And so, one of the ones that I use a lot is
listening.
101
00:06:25,540 --> 00:06:32,979
I think that we don't listen as much as we
think that we do, and there is research to
102
00:06:32,979 --> 00:06:33,779
support that.
103
00:06:33,779 --> 00:06:37,560
It's not just me saying we need to listen
better.
104
00:06:37,779 --> 00:06:45,235
I can show statistics on people only hear about
30% of what they—or sorry.
105
00:06:45,235 --> 00:06:48,455
They only read about 30% of your email.
106
00:06:48,995 --> 00:06:52,355
They only listen to about 50 to 60% of what you
say.
107
00:06:52,355 --> 00:06:55,270
There's science that backs that up.
108
00:06:55,270 --> 00:06:58,730
So I'm not just saying we need to listen
better.
109
00:06:59,110 --> 00:07:01,350
I can show you the research that says, no.
110
00:07:01,350 --> 00:07:04,550
We really do need to listen better.
111
00:07:04,550 --> 00:07:06,310
We don't do a good job of listening.
112
00:07:06,310 --> 00:07:12,564
And so I think that's what I try and do is put
out my own ideas, but then research them to
113
00:07:12,564 --> 00:07:18,504
make sure they are conclusive and that there's
science to back up the things that I say.
114
00:07:19,060 --> 00:07:20,019
Oh, I love that.
115
00:07:20,019 --> 00:07:21,240
I love the combination.
116
00:07:21,379 --> 00:07:23,079
So it's not just an opinion.
117
00:07:23,540 --> 00:07:25,699
It has to do with research as well.
118
00:07:25,699 --> 00:07:29,000
And it's not only the result of the studies.
119
00:07:29,379 --> 00:07:33,000
You have methods and experiments, so to say.
120
00:07:33,175 --> 00:07:39,655
And today, I came across an interesting
sentence is when a scientist is doing research
121
00:07:39,655 --> 00:07:45,175
and look at things, then by observing the
things, the results change.
122
00:07:45,175 --> 00:07:50,670
So I don't know what because you did research
what you think about this.
123
00:07:51,210 --> 00:07:51,610
Yes.
124
00:07:51,610 --> 00:07:52,110
Absolutely.
125
00:07:52,330 --> 00:07:58,810
So there's an idea that as humans, we can't
separate ourselves from the things that we
126
00:07:58,810 --> 00:07:59,290
study.
127
00:07:59,290 --> 00:08:06,634
So if I am studying humans, just me being in
the room with those humans changes how those
128
00:08:06,634 --> 00:08:10,794
humans interact because there's different
energy and different thought processes.
129
00:08:10,794 --> 00:08:15,839
So just by researching, we are changing the
research as we do it.
130
00:08:15,839 --> 00:08:25,040
So I think you have to try real hard to use
outside research sources, and then conduct your
131
00:08:25,040 --> 00:08:30,865
own experiments or your own trials, but
understanding that when you're involved, it
132
00:08:30,865 --> 00:08:34,964
will automatically change because we can't
separate ourselves from other humans.
133
00:08:35,424 --> 00:08:36,065
Oh, yes.
134
00:08:36,065 --> 00:08:36,865
That's so true.
135
00:08:36,865 --> 00:08:38,784
Thank you for pointing that out.
136
00:08:38,784 --> 00:08:44,804
Now I understand the sentence I read today, and
it is so fascinating, you know, the research
137
00:08:44,945 --> 00:08:51,679
part and all the other or what every one of us
makes of it when we hear a certain sentence and
138
00:08:51,679 --> 00:08:53,700
everyone has a different perspective.
139
00:08:54,080 --> 00:08:55,139
It's so interesting.
140
00:08:55,279 --> 00:08:56,320
Thank you so much.
141
00:08:56,320 --> 00:08:56,720
Okay.
142
00:08:56,720 --> 00:08:58,100
I have the next question.
143
00:08:58,160 --> 00:09:04,534
Of course, as a five-time business owner,
you've experienced the highs and lows of
144
00:09:04,534 --> 00:09:05,034
entrepreneurship.
145
00:09:05,735 --> 00:09:11,095
What are some of the biggest challenges you
faced in your entrepreneurial journey, and how
146
00:09:11,095 --> 00:09:15,809
did emotional intelligence play a role in
overcoming those challenges?
147
00:09:16,110 --> 00:09:21,570
What advice do you have for other entrepreneurs
looking to build resilient businesses?
148
00:09:22,269 --> 00:09:22,769
Yeah.
149
00:09:23,790 --> 00:09:34,475
I would say my first challenge that I faced was
understanding how a sales conversation can
150
00:09:34,475 --> 00:09:34,794
work.
151
00:09:34,794 --> 00:09:40,074
I think that a lot of us go into
entrepreneurship because we have a gift or a
152
00:09:40,074 --> 00:09:44,095
service or a belief, something that we want to
provide to the world.
153
00:09:44,399 --> 00:09:47,620
But if you're truly going to run a business, it
has to make you money.
154
00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:53,919
And the first challenge I faced was not
understanding how to make money doing what I
155
00:09:53,919 --> 00:09:54,899
wanted to do.
156
00:09:55,360 --> 00:10:03,514
And I think for me, emotional intelligence
helped there because once I did learn how to
157
00:10:03,514 --> 00:10:10,154
talk about money and how to talk about
business, then I was able to layer that with
158
00:10:10,154 --> 00:10:14,875
the emotional intelligence I already had to
have better conversations and make better
159
00:10:14,875 --> 00:10:15,375
connections.
160
00:10:15,434 --> 00:10:18,549
So a lot of my clients have been long-term
clients.
161
00:10:18,850 --> 00:10:20,289
I don't just call them clients.
162
00:10:20,289 --> 00:10:21,750
They are friends of mine.
163
00:10:22,610 --> 00:10:27,909
And that is because I have been able to grow
those relationships with emotional intelligence
164
00:10:28,610 --> 00:10:31,909
on top of the sales process that I had to
learn.
165
00:10:33,485 --> 00:10:40,445
I would say the second biggest challenge I
faced was during the pandemic as somebody who
166
00:10:40,445 --> 00:10:42,625
speaks for a living in large groups.
167
00:10:43,325 --> 00:10:46,350
There was a whole year where none of that
occurred.
168
00:10:47,450 --> 00:10:54,509
We had to be resilient as a business, and I
don't know that I would have been as resilient
169
00:10:54,889 --> 00:10:57,789
if not forced into those situations.
170
00:10:58,570 --> 00:11:01,230
Not sure I would have just thought of them by
myself.
171
00:11:02,535 --> 00:11:11,095
So once we were faced with that, really looking
at how do we continue to provide service even
172
00:11:11,095 --> 00:11:15,820
in different ways, thinking outside the box,
thinking about what do people need.
173
00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:22,220
And so being able to take what was
traditionally an all face-to-face business and
174
00:11:22,279 --> 00:11:29,434
start offering online programming, online
courses, online webinars, and then also how to
175
00:11:29,434 --> 00:11:32,894
take care of myself during those times.
176
00:11:32,955 --> 00:11:38,875
I think sometimes when we think about
resilience as an entrepreneur, we think about
177
00:11:38,875 --> 00:11:43,519
the business and it being resilient when it has
a bad year or bad quarter, and I think that's
178
00:11:43,519 --> 00:11:44,019
important.
179
00:11:44,799 --> 00:11:49,299
But the only true way for a business to be
resilient is if you are resilient.
180
00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:56,355
So for me, it was figuring out how to still
have fun even though things were tough.
181
00:11:56,595 --> 00:12:03,235
It was about finding joy and peace in the
little things and making sure that I didn't get
182
00:12:03,235 --> 00:12:11,154
so stuck in business going poorly that I forgot
that I have a whole life outside of business
183
00:12:11,154 --> 00:12:11,654
too.
184
00:12:12,179 --> 00:12:18,419
And so I think for entrepreneurs, one of my
pieces of advice to be more resilient is never
185
00:12:18,419 --> 00:12:21,879
let your business become everything in your
world.
186
00:12:22,419 --> 00:12:28,125
While it is your baby and your most important
thing, you still have family, you still have
187
00:12:28,125 --> 00:12:33,485
friends, you still have health, you still have
faith, and all of those things are things that
188
00:12:33,485 --> 00:12:36,445
you should lean on when business gets tough.
189
00:12:36,445 --> 00:12:38,705
So you gotta make sure that they're still
there.
190
00:12:39,950 --> 00:12:41,149
Oh, thank you so much.
191
00:12:41,149 --> 00:12:45,470
You shared so many messages and nuggets in your
answers.
192
00:12:45,470 --> 00:12:51,330
First of all, you pointed out how important the
connection is between emotional intelligence
193
00:12:51,629 --> 00:12:53,090
and the sales process.
194
00:12:53,230 --> 00:13:03,204
Let's say you made friends out of your clients,
then you talked about the pandemic and said how
195
00:13:03,204 --> 00:13:08,105
you transferred your business to an online
business selling courses.
196
00:13:08,389 --> 00:13:17,029
And I love how we all invented ourselves new
during the pandemic, taking the chance as an
197
00:13:17,029 --> 00:13:20,710
opportunity, not as failure or I don't know.
198
00:13:20,710 --> 00:13:30,675
You said, at last, you said that we have to
detach from our business sometimes emotionally
199
00:13:30,894 --> 00:13:35,555
that it is not all that it doesn't become our
whole life.
200
00:13:36,175 --> 00:13:43,129
You know, when it breaks down or falls apart,
then it affects our whole personality.
201
00:13:43,429 --> 00:13:44,870
And this is not what we want.
202
00:13:44,870 --> 00:13:51,289
You also talked about self-care, and you did
not use the word.
203
00:13:51,509 --> 00:13:57,985
But I love the word self-care in that we look
for ourselves not as an entrepreneur.
204
00:13:59,164 --> 00:14:01,105
We don't identify completely.
205
00:14:01,485 --> 00:14:02,865
You mentioned the family.
206
00:14:02,924 --> 00:14:03,745
It's important.
207
00:14:04,444 --> 00:14:05,725
Also, there's a family.
208
00:14:05,725 --> 00:14:08,460
There are people who want to connect.
209
00:14:08,779 --> 00:14:16,220
And, also, what I loved, you talked about trust
in the sales process, gaining the trust of the
210
00:14:16,220 --> 00:14:22,865
people, and then it's easy to promote your
products or services.
211
00:14:22,924 --> 00:14:28,465
Let's say, you said you make a living out of
speaking.
212
00:14:28,684 --> 00:14:32,465
Speaking is your passion.
213
00:14:32,764 --> 00:14:33,264
Right?
214
00:14:33,644 --> 00:14:33,960
Yeah.
215
00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:35,480
I love that so much.
216
00:14:35,480 --> 00:14:37,399
I have another question for you.
217
00:14:37,399 --> 00:14:38,460
I'm so excited.
218
00:14:38,519 --> 00:14:39,960
Thank you so much again.
219
00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:45,720
And I have to relisten to this episode because
there are so many things to learn in it.
220
00:14:45,720 --> 00:14:46,120
Yes.
221
00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:51,934
For me, for other people, our listeners, your
speaking style is known for its engaging
222
00:14:52,154 --> 00:14:53,455
stories and humor.
223
00:14:53,674 --> 00:14:58,875
How do you use storytelling and humor to
connect with your audience and drive home the
224
00:14:58,875 --> 00:15:01,054
importance of emotional intelligence?
225
00:15:01,509 --> 00:15:07,350
Can you share a memorable moment from one of
your speaking engagements where this approach
226
00:15:07,350 --> 00:15:10,169
had a profound impact on your audience?
227
00:15:11,190 --> 00:15:11,690
Yes.
228
00:15:12,949 --> 00:15:19,625
So I believe that storytelling is what connects
us as humans.
229
00:15:19,764 --> 00:15:28,485
Because when we tell a story, people can feel
that they are part of the process, part of the
230
00:15:28,485 --> 00:15:28,985
learning.
231
00:15:29,660 --> 00:15:35,660
And when people see themselves in what you're
talking about, they're more likely to listen
232
00:15:35,660 --> 00:15:37,600
and they're more likely to learn.
233
00:15:37,899 --> 00:15:47,125
And so for me, I always plan my speeches based
on a handful of stories, looking for stories
234
00:15:47,125 --> 00:15:53,445
that are examples of different things I'm
trying to teach or looking for moments where I
235
00:15:53,445 --> 00:16:01,259
can bring people into a story that they
resonate with, that's relevant to them,
236
00:16:01,259 --> 00:16:03,200
something that is a shared experience.
237
00:16:03,820 --> 00:16:10,605
I think that one of the things that we don't
think about enough as humans is that while we
238
00:16:10,605 --> 00:16:16,384
are all different and we're very diverse,
there's still a lot of similarities between
239
00:16:16,445 --> 00:16:18,044
every person on this earth.
240
00:16:18,044 --> 00:16:24,370
And when we can find ways to talk about those
and share those, we bridge the gap between
241
00:16:24,370 --> 00:16:29,889
somebody feeling like they're over there as an
audience member and I'm over here as a speaker.
242
00:16:29,889 --> 00:16:33,910
And we bridge that gap and really focus on both
of us as humans.
243
00:16:34,050 --> 00:16:47,115
So I think one of my most memorable moments of
that is I told a story about how people don't
244
00:16:47,115 --> 00:16:50,350
listen as much as we think that they should.
245
00:16:50,810 --> 00:16:57,070
And I always use the same story to give this
example.
246
00:16:57,769 --> 00:17:02,350
And no matter what group I use it with, I have
used it internationally.
247
00:17:03,235 --> 00:17:06,134
I have used it with non-native English
speakers.
248
00:17:06,755 --> 00:17:09,255
I have used it with teenagers.
249
00:17:09,474 --> 00:17:11,095
I have used it with adults.
250
00:17:11,555 --> 00:17:20,099
No matter who hears the story, people
understand what I am trying to achieve with the
251
00:17:20,099 --> 00:17:20,599
story.
252
00:17:20,660 --> 00:17:24,920
And I think that that's what makes it impactful
is that it's universal.
253
00:17:25,859 --> 00:17:31,964
And I think there have been several times where
people have come up to me after the story and
254
00:17:31,964 --> 00:17:34,125
said, that's happened to me.
255
00:17:34,125 --> 00:17:35,984
I've had that situation.
256
00:17:36,845 --> 00:17:38,525
I knew exactly what you meant.
257
00:17:38,525 --> 00:17:44,940
And when you can have audience members connect
with you that way, you know that you've done a
258
00:17:44,940 --> 00:17:45,920
really good job.
259
00:17:46,140 --> 00:17:50,559
So the story is a simple story of me and my
husband.
260
00:17:51,980 --> 00:17:58,825
We had moved into a new house, and we were
going through a list of all the things that had
261
00:17:58,825 --> 00:17:59,304
changed.
262
00:17:59,304 --> 00:18:03,144
When you move into a new house, things just
happen at different times.
263
00:18:03,144 --> 00:18:09,059
The trash guy comes at a different time, and
the post comes at a different time, and the
264
00:18:09,059 --> 00:18:13,059
newspaper's dropped off in a different
location, and all of these things are
265
00:18:13,059 --> 00:18:13,559
different.
266
00:18:14,180 --> 00:18:19,880
And so I remember sitting on the couch, and I
said, it's trash day tomorrow.
267
00:18:21,335 --> 00:18:23,195
And he said, yep.
268
00:18:25,494 --> 00:18:33,015
And what I meant by that was, I think you need
to go take out the trash because it's trash day
269
00:18:33,015 --> 00:18:33,515
tomorrow.
270
00:18:34,049 --> 00:18:39,110
But what he heard was just a statement of, oh,
it's trash day tomorrow.
271
00:18:39,890 --> 00:18:40,630
No question.
272
00:18:41,330 --> 00:18:44,870
And I think that that happens to us a lot when
we communicate.
273
00:18:45,650 --> 00:18:47,355
We think we're being clear.
274
00:18:47,355 --> 00:18:53,355
We think we're giving people the information
they need, but they may not hear it with all
275
00:18:53,355 --> 00:18:56,494
the extra stuff that we didn't actually say.
276
00:18:56,954 --> 00:19:00,095
Because I never asked him to take out the
trash.
277
00:19:00,409 --> 00:19:03,069
I just made an assumption that that's what
would happen.
278
00:19:03,450 --> 00:19:06,490
And I think for a lot of us, that happens a
lot.
279
00:19:06,490 --> 00:19:13,549
And so I use that story all over the place and
people always can say, I've had that situation
280
00:19:13,609 --> 00:19:20,875
happen to me where I said something, I thought
it was clear, but then I realized that I hadn't
281
00:19:20,934 --> 00:19:25,174
really asked what I meant to ask or I didn't
say what I'd meant to say.
282
00:19:25,174 --> 00:19:29,994
And so I think stories like that are the ones
that stick with people the most.
283
00:19:31,039 --> 00:19:31,519
Wow.
284
00:19:31,519 --> 00:19:34,159
Thank you so much for sharing it.
285
00:19:34,159 --> 00:19:39,759
So what I understand is you prepare your
speeches by selecting stories you want to tell,
286
00:19:39,759 --> 00:19:45,315
and then you have to fill in the gaps or the
bridges between the stories you tell.
287
00:19:45,315 --> 00:19:48,595
And then you let the audience connect to your
story.
288
00:19:48,595 --> 00:19:57,119
And I think also the feeling that no one or
they can feel included by they feel, I don't
289
00:19:57,119 --> 00:19:58,480
know, heard and seen.
290
00:19:58,480 --> 00:19:59,119
You said this.
291
00:19:59,119 --> 00:20:05,039
And then when they connect and they share their
experience, then there's the magic.
292
00:20:05,039 --> 00:20:06,319
The magic is happening.
293
00:20:06,319 --> 00:20:06,639
Right?
294
00:20:06,639 --> 00:20:12,164
And then it opens the doors for further
conversations also.
295
00:20:12,544 --> 00:20:14,005
I love that so much.
296
00:20:14,144 --> 00:20:15,505
What else did you say?
297
00:20:15,505 --> 00:20:15,904
Yes.
298
00:20:15,904 --> 00:20:19,444
For example, to always communicate what we
really want.
299
00:20:19,664 --> 00:20:22,325
I had this word in mind, call to action.
300
00:20:22,944 --> 00:20:24,625
You have this call to action.
301
00:20:24,625 --> 00:20:27,799
Please bring the trash out or whatever you say.
302
00:20:27,799 --> 00:20:28,700
I don't know.
303
00:20:29,799 --> 00:20:30,039
Yes.
304
00:20:30,039 --> 00:20:31,019
It's so beautiful.
305
00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:32,200
Thank you so much.
306
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:37,160
I learned something, and my next question is
about your goals.
307
00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:39,980
Do you set goals for yourself or intentions?
308
00:20:40,360 --> 00:20:42,555
And what is one of your next goals?
309
00:20:43,255 --> 00:20:44,955
How can we support you?
310
00:20:45,494 --> 00:20:47,434
Oh, that's sweet of you to ask.
311
00:20:48,375 --> 00:20:58,750
I don't set a lot of goals because I feel that
it drives me to overwork, which I don't like to
312
00:20:58,750 --> 00:20:59,069
do.
313
00:20:59,069 --> 00:21:02,289
I like to balance my work life and my personal
life.
314
00:21:03,309 --> 00:21:11,154
So what I do every year is I set what's called
a feeling goal, and that is how do I want to
315
00:21:11,154 --> 00:21:13,575
feel at the end of the year.
316
00:21:13,954 --> 00:21:15,794
How do I want to feel about business?
317
00:21:15,794 --> 00:21:17,554
How do I want to feel about life?
318
00:21:17,554 --> 00:21:24,009
And then throughout my year, I try and do
things that help me achieve that feeling so
319
00:21:24,009 --> 00:21:28,089
that at the end of the year, I can look back
and say I achieved that.
320
00:21:28,089 --> 00:21:37,529
So, last year in 2023, my goal was to feel at
peace with my business, at peace with my
321
00:21:37,529 --> 00:21:44,904
family, just to not have a lot of anger or
resentment, but to let all of that go and just
322
00:21:44,904 --> 00:21:45,724
be at peace.
323
00:21:46,345 --> 00:21:47,305
I achieved that.
324
00:21:47,305 --> 00:21:51,299
It was a wonderful year and a great feeling at
the end of the year.
325
00:21:52,019 --> 00:21:55,240
This year, my goal is rediscovery.
326
00:21:56,100 --> 00:22:02,279
I want to rediscover things that are meaningful
to me, rediscover friendships and connections,
327
00:22:02,980 --> 00:22:07,080
and I want to feel at the end of the year that
this was a season of rediscovery.
328
00:22:08,075 --> 00:22:13,434
And so I am trying to do things every week,
every month that allow me to rediscover things
329
00:22:13,434 --> 00:22:16,894
about myself or about my life that maybe I've
forgotten.
330
00:22:17,035 --> 00:22:20,575
So those are the goals that I set for myself.
331
00:22:21,190 --> 00:22:25,609
So I would say, how can you help in achieving
those goals?
332
00:22:26,390 --> 00:22:32,170
I would say, for me, the best way other people
can help me is by doing it for themselves.
333
00:22:33,075 --> 00:22:38,375
So create a feeling goal for yourself for this
week or this month or this year.
334
00:22:38,595 --> 00:22:40,534
How do you want to feel about your business?
335
00:22:40,595 --> 00:22:43,654
How do you want to feel about your
communication and your life?
336
00:22:43,794 --> 00:22:48,919
And then make choices that get you there so
that you're achieving those feelings that you
337
00:22:48,919 --> 00:22:49,159
want.
338
00:22:49,159 --> 00:22:56,220
I think there's a lot of power in our emotions
if we learn that we can choose them.
339
00:22:56,599 --> 00:23:01,815
And that's what my goal is for the world is
that we learn that we can choose our emotions
340
00:23:02,035 --> 00:23:04,775
and we can choose to feel better.
341
00:23:05,075 --> 00:23:07,335
And I think we all need to do that right now.
342
00:23:08,194 --> 00:23:09,095
Oh, absolutely.
343
00:23:09,234 --> 00:23:11,894
And thank you so much for sharing about the
feeling.
344
00:23:12,109 --> 00:23:17,549
We know this feeling is the secret by Neville
Goddard, and there is, I think it was Peggy
345
00:23:17,549 --> 00:23:22,029
McColl saying, now that my wish is fulfilled,
how do I feel?
346
00:23:22,029 --> 00:23:27,410
So you ask yourself every time, how do I feel
now when the wish is fulfilled?
347
00:23:27,734 --> 00:23:33,015
We are often or most of the time talking about
material goals.
348
00:23:33,015 --> 00:23:33,494
Right?
349
00:23:33,494 --> 00:23:38,795
Like a money goal or sports car or a new house,
you mentioned it.
350
00:23:39,095 --> 00:23:40,875
New house or whatever.
351
00:23:41,170 --> 00:23:44,309
And then, of course, it is connected to a
feeling.
352
00:23:44,690 --> 00:23:52,470
And to detach this from the material thing, I
think this is an art and or the process,
353
00:23:52,529 --> 00:23:53,410
something, a skill.
354
00:23:53,410 --> 00:23:54,450
We talked about skills.
355
00:23:54,450 --> 00:23:55,589
You can learn this.
356
00:23:55,714 --> 00:23:56,595
Thank you so much.
357
00:23:56,595 --> 00:23:58,454
I never thought of it that way.
358
00:23:58,755 --> 00:24:05,894
I will set a feeling goal for myself, and I
intend to feel it every evening.
359
00:24:06,195 --> 00:24:12,080
For me, I can share it if you'd like to because
I had the topic earlier this year.
360
00:24:12,080 --> 00:24:15,700
For me, because I asked myself, what is my
favorite feeling?
361
00:24:16,160 --> 00:24:22,500
And my feeling is the feeling of accomplishment
that I get when I whatever I set for the day,
362
00:24:22,559 --> 00:24:28,065
for example, the phone call or reading a book
or whatever, and then the feeling of
363
00:24:28,065 --> 00:24:29,605
accomplishment in the evening.
364
00:24:29,664 --> 00:24:31,605
It's reached.
365
00:24:32,144 --> 00:24:32,464
Yeah.
366
00:24:32,464 --> 00:24:32,784
No.
367
00:24:32,784 --> 00:24:33,605
That's wonderful.
368
00:24:33,744 --> 00:24:34,944
That's a great goal.
369
00:24:34,944 --> 00:24:36,164
I love that for you.
370
00:24:36,784 --> 00:24:37,825
Thank you so much.
371
00:24:37,825 --> 00:24:42,460
And now it's time for your last thoughts to the
audience, please.
372
00:24:43,559 --> 00:24:51,799
Well, I would say, my last thoughts are since
we are talking about being inspired, I would
373
00:24:51,799 --> 00:24:57,105
say that my last thoughts are to always
remember that you are an inspiration to someone
374
00:24:57,105 --> 00:24:57,605
else.
375
00:24:58,465 --> 00:25:04,705
I don't always think that we realize that we
are inspiring others through things as simple
376
00:25:04,705 --> 00:25:12,809
as a smile or opening a door or calling
somebody or checking on somebody, but we
377
00:25:12,809 --> 00:25:14,329
inspire people daily.
378
00:25:14,329 --> 00:25:20,569
And I think we need to remember that we are not
only seeking inspiration, but we are an
379
00:25:20,569 --> 00:25:21,069
inspiration.
380
00:25:22,410 --> 00:25:22,910
Wow.
381
00:25:23,130 --> 00:25:24,190
That's so wonderful.
382
00:25:24,329 --> 00:25:25,684
I'm speechless now.
383
00:25:25,744 --> 00:25:27,845
Thank you so much for our interview.
384
00:25:28,065 --> 00:25:30,065
This was Stevie Dawn Carter.
385
00:25:30,065 --> 00:25:32,404
I'm so happy that you said yes.
386
00:25:33,105 --> 00:25:33,924
Thank you.
387
00:25:34,784 --> 00:25:37,044
And see you in the next episode.
