When Grief Changes Everything: Releasing the Pressure to Be Strong with Leslie Harter-Berg

What happens when the life you thought you were building suddenly disappears?

In this deeply honest conversation, Willow sits down with Leslie Harter-Berg, author of You’re So Strong: On Grief and Letting Go of My Favorite Compliment, to talk about the devastating loss of her husband, Ryan, who died suddenly from an aneurysm and stroke at just 34 years old.

Leslie opens up about becoming a widow and single mom overnight, raising two young boys through their own grief, and navigating the complicated identity shifts that followed. She shares how being told “you’re so strong” actually became a weight she felt responsible to carry—and how she eventually learned that she didn’t have to turn her pain into an inspiring story before she was ready.

Together, Willow and Leslie talk about the importance of lament, making room for grief, and resisting the urge to rush toward the “good” ending. Leslie shares how her relationship with God changed as she learned to stop asking what the future should look like and simply sit with Him in the pain of the present.

They also explore parenting through grief, remarriage after loss, making space for a former spouse in a new family, and the beautiful reminder that God is not distant from our suffering. He is a God who understands it.

• Why being told “you’re so strong” became an unexpected weight to carry
• How to let your kids see your grief without making them responsible for your emotions
• Why we don't have to rush through grief to get to hope or a “better” ending
• What it looks like to sit with God in the pain instead of trying to fix or explain it
• What Leslie now knows to be true about God: He is a God acquainted with our suffering

Leslie Harter-Berg is the author of You’re So Strong: On Grief and Letting Go of My Favorite Compliment. After losing her husband, Ryan, suddenly in 2019, Leslie began writing as a way to process her grief. Her story has become an honest invitation for others to make room for grief, weakness, faith, and hope without rushing the process.

You can find Leslie on Instagram and learn more about her book, You’re So Strong, wherever books are sold.

At Collide, we believe Jesus meets us in the messy places of our lives. If you're walking through hurt, grief, questions, or a season where you feel stuck, you don't have to walk through it alone.

Find more resources for healing and faith at wecollide.net.

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