Breaking Down the High Divorce Rate | Brittany Hopper Interview

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I I think I was told by a therapist that you know we're at a 55% divorce rate at this point.
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Yeah.
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And of those still married and who have stayed married, I asked, what do you think the percentage is of those actually happy?
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Seven to ten percent.
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Wow.
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Wow.
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I mean let that let that sink in.
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Um so you know, do I do I sit with guilt daily?
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Hi, I'm Tamara, a therapist and coach that's exploring relationships, emotional health, faith, and real life challenges that many of us were taught to keep private.
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Together, we'll talk honestly about the questions, the struggles, and experiences that many of us carry quietly and finally give them a place to be spoken out loud.
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You are listening to Talk to Tamara.
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Hi, and welcome back to Talk to Tamara.
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Today I have an amazing guest, Brit Brittany Hopper.
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Thank you so much for being here.
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She is a journalist, she's on Fox, she's on Fox News, she's a psychologist, and she is a single mom of one, right?
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That's right.
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Yes.
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I wear a lot of hats.
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It can go on and on.
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You wear a lot of hats.
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So thank you so much for being here, Brittany.
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I really, really appreciate you.
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Yeah, of course.
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Thank you for having me.
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I'm so happy to be here.
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Yeah, okay, great.
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So why don't you tell, like, my viewers, I don't think know you.
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Um, I actually found you on Instagram and I've been following you for a long time, but um, I don't think that my listeners know you and who you are.
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So why don't you take it?
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Sometimes I don't even know me who I am.
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Um, sure, yeah.
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So I was a TV journalist for my entire adult life, um, mainly with CBS News in Los Angeles and on Entertainment Tonight and Inside Edition.
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Um, I used to cover everything from uh breaking news, wildfires, um, the Oscars, I'm sure you heard of the Golden Globe Awards, the Grammys.
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Um fun.
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Yeah, I've really done it all, the BLM riots and the COVID-19 pandemic.
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Um, so I was the one who was out there on the front lines and uh, you know, in the nitty-gritty of things and got my hands dirty.
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And um, even during covering entertainment, it was also just, you know, it looked so glamorous, but there was so much going on, the hustle and bustle and uh the sometimes 15, 16, 17 hour days.
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Um, but it was it was exciting and it was a goal of mine since I was 12 years old.
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And uh yeah, it was a beautiful career.
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Um, and then I got married and I had our amazing daughter, and you know, life kind of shifts once you become a mother.
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Um, I always say she became the main character in my life once she was born.
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So my career kind of took a step back, and at the same time, unfortunately, my marriage was unraveling, and so a lot happening.
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And um yeah, I, you know, you say single mom.
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I I have to give a big shout out to my ex-husband because I get a lot of help from him, and he's such an incredible father.
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And you know, one of the things that I I always like to point out nowadays, and you know this within the mental health uh world, is we see single moms now, and I think society has that there's this misconception that if you're a single mother, you were left.
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And ironically, now more than ever, and statistically, the numbers are showing more and more women are actually doing the leaving.
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And if it takes a mother to leave and walk away from a situation to have to do this on her own, you know that the situation was probably not good.
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Yeah, that's it.
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And you know, it's it's it's interesting too because a lot of people I've I've been told, well, isn't it kind of selfish?
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Don't you what about the children?
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And you know, we hear stay for the children.
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And look, I I don't think you're damned if you do, damned if you don't.
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For me, I had felt that if our daughter grew up seeing a very happy father and a very happy mother, I think that that was better and is better than her seeing two parents go at it, um, whether that's in a toxic marriage, whether it's constantly fighting, whether it's a passionateless marriage, whether it's one parent has checked out, whatever that is.
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Um, you know, I I think I was told by a therapist that, you know, we're at a 55% divorce rate at this point.
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Yeah.
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And of those still married and who have stayed married, I asked, what do you think the percentage is of those actually happy?
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Seven to ten percent.
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Wow.
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Wow.
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I mean, let that let that sink in.
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Yeah.
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Um, so you know, uh, do I do I sit with guilt daily?
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Um, yes, I do, but at the same time, I see my ex-husband thriving now, very happy.
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And um, I am as well.
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And so I think our daughter is thriving because of that.
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Yeah.
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So with knowing that, that it's a seven to ten percent chance of even being happy, why go look for love again?
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Oh gosh.
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Why go?
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I don't know if there's a point in my life that I don't go looking for love.
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I'm a lover.
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I'm an absolute hopeless romantic.
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It's part of my problem.
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I've traumatized my best friends to the point where at this point they're like, we're taking over your love life.
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Um, you know, right after my divorce, um, I mean, we weren't even technically legally divorced.
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I got myself in a very serious relationship.
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Not a lot of people know this, especially a lot of the new followers that I have.
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Um, but for five years post-divorce, I was with an incredible man.
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We fell madly in love with one another.
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He had just been divorced as well a few years post-divorce.
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Mine was pretty immediate.
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Um, and I found love again.
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Um, in fact, that was he's one of the greatest loves of my life, I would say.
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Um, but you know, uh things happen and we um we walked away from that relationship very maturely, very lovingly.
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Um, still love each other to this day, but we know that right now it's just, you know, we can't be together and we are just very good friends, and who knows what the future holds.
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Um same with my ex-husband, though.
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We divorced very amicably, even though it was more me who initiated it at first, uh we separated and divorced very amicably and in a very lovingly way.
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Um I think at this point, uh after dealing with, you know, some hardships when it comes to relationships, I think the biggest thing I can do for myself is reflect and take accountability for the things that I'd like to see, the changes I'd like to see.
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And so that's what I'm working on right now.
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Because I mean, a goal of mine is to meet a partner and to be with him till death do us part.
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Um, that would be the ultimate goal.
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That's a great goal.
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It is a good goal to have.
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I'd love, I'd love that goal.
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But right now I'm falling back in love with myself, my priorities, my daughter, and um yeah, there was an engagement in between these things I think you kind of know about.
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Um, you know, talk about love.
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But you know, that was that was a um definite a brief, a brief little um wrinkle in in I, you know, God brings us certain um learning experiences.
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Let's just put it to you that way.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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That's great.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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So what are those things that I guess you notice about yourself going through those relationships that you know you're like, okay, I'm I need to do things differently.
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I think something um that I've noticed a repeated pattern, and this is more just in general with relationships with me.
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I'm a very carefree, free-spirited.
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I have a little bit of a wild side of just kind of, you know, and I think men fall in love with that in the beginning, and I can tell they that that's something that they're attracted to.
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But then once the intimacy, real intimacy begins, which we know is after the honeymoon phase, they want to change that within me.
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And that's when I think the conflict begins.
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And maybe it's on me that I need to change a little bit in terms of maybe I can't be so wild and carefree and free-spirited, or maybe I just haven't met that person who can really match that and not want to control it, rather, you know, stand by me.
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Because listen, I would never cheat on a person, I would never, I would never disrespect a partner in that way.
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But there is something when you when you hold someone too tightly, it's it's not healthy.
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Yeah.
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Um, the the man that I was with after my divorce, we can call him Mr.
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Big here.
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Um he really yeah, he really allowed me to be who I wanted to be, and I think that that's why it worked so much.
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We had this kind of free-spirited uh relationship, the two of us.
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Yeah, I don't think that the answer is to change yourself ever, right?
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I agree.
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Because it's never gonna stick.
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Like it you're always just gonna pretend to be something and then you're gonna be not happy.
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You're not authentic.
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Seriously.
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Right, right.
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And you have to be authentic, and I've learned that as I've aged.
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I conformed differently when I met my ex-husband to try and be this certain person.
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Um, I was more free with the man after that, and then this fiance, I a hundred percent conformed to, you know, just super religious.
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Oh, I could do all this, I can take on, you know, three kids in the house, I can do all of these things.
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And it it just it, yes, you cannot change.
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You have to show up who you truly are.
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And I really believe if any if I could give any advice to anyone dating, it's those first six months, they we always put our best foot forward.
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No, no, no, show them your shit.
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Just lay it all out there.
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And if they stay and they stick around, great.
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Then then you know, continue, but like stop pretending and acting like you're someone you're not, and that goes for both ways, men and women.
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Yeah, because eventually they'll find you out anyways.
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So that's why the divorce rate is kind of very high because people pretend to be and then they get married, and then they're like, No, I actually don't, I feel suffocated.
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I feel like I need to be myself.
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Right.
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I think it's imperative to be with someone who is your best friend.
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Uh, I mean, you hear this all the time, but I just I can't I can't say this enough.
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Like, you have to have the same interests.
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I think having the same morals and values and life goals um and and similar personalities.
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Everyone says, Oh, be with um opposites attract.
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I mean, to some degree, I want to learn from my partner, sure.
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And I want to, you know, help me be better, help you be better.
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But at the same time, like, I need someone who's fun, outgoing, who is also the life of the party and doesn't mind that I am.
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Yeah.
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Is not going to dim my light after six months.
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Yeah, but that that could be a person who is, you know, calm and not the life of the party, and is okay with you being the shining star.
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Sure.
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I tried an introvert though, and I'm not sure it really worked.
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Like, I did that.
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I did do that.
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That was the fiance, and I tried to get some out of, you know, and so I don't know, but I mean, I think at the end of the day, it's, you know, it's the it's it's it's kindness, it's it's respect, it's um, you know, all of those things that we read about and hear about.
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Um, and then it's it's also chemistry, and it's also um, you know, but I I I think stability is a huge part of it too.
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I I, you know, detest chaos when it's brought into a relationship.
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And I think that um you kind of have to be stabilized within yourself to really go into a stabilizing relationship, if that makes sense.
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How did you grow up?
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Your your parents were married?
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Yeah, my parents were married for 17 years, and then they got a divorce right after my bot mitzvah.
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Okay.
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And that's a hard age for them.
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Yeah, very difficult age, but at the and at the same time, I had a pretty good childhood.
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I mean, I went to private school, I went to a very religious Labove Chibrew Academy growing up.
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Um, I am an only child, uh, all the attention, center of attention, it's a little bit problematic, you know.
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As you get older, you kind of have to realize.
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Um, but you know, I had I had a I had an interesting childhood.
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My father's an entertainer, very he was very well known in the 80s and 90s.
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And then my mother, you know, was a stay-at-home mom for the most part, and uh former model, just you know, very classy, always well put together uh woman.
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And we come from a very close-knit, tight family, and family's everything to us.
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And yeah, I mean, we did a lot of Shabbat dinners growing up.
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I kept kosher, I mean, pretty traditional childhood.
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Um, and then at 14 years old, I fell madly in love with my first love, which I think was like the beginning of just the future of like so many kind of it, it's set it set just the tone for uh my relationships.
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It's interesting because I've had the same best friends since like preschool or sixth grade or same, same girlfriends, like or freshman year in college.
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Yet these relationships, it's like I have they have like this expiration date after like five years for me.
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I don't I don't know.
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I'm I am in therapy myself, working to to consciously like try and figure this out because like I said, the next goal is to find it be with someone to grow old with 1000%.
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Yeah.
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So what so what happened when you were 14?
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So when I was 14, I met I met uh so he was like the most popular boy in our town.
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Yeah, uh quarterback, you know, captain of the football team, so hot.
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I was only 14 years old, he was 16, two years older than me.
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Super cool.
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Yes, yes, and and yeah, we dated until I was 19 years old.
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And ultimately I got accepted to a college and moved out of our hometown.
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And you know, it was a classic story, yeah, classic love story.
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And did you ever like re uh re-kindle it?
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Did you ever we did we did a little bit in like college and post-college?
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Um, you know, still to this day, he still texts me every birthday, happy birthday.
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And I still text him, happy birthday.
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In fact, his wife of 20 years just reached out to me recently.
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She and I talk.
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Um, so you know, it's all good.
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Yeah, yeah.
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That's that's great.
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Your first love, it's such, it's so innocent and sweet.
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And um, you know, but I think even at 14 years old, I was never the promiscuous type.
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I was never the one who had lots of different men.
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It was always okay, five years high school sweetheart.
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Then I went right into my college sweetheart, and then I was with someone my entire 20s until I was 30 years old, and my husband or ex-husband, and yeah, Mr.
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Big.
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So it's been, you know, this is kind of like the first time um I can remember since I was 14 that I've really, really truly been single and dating.
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How is that for you?
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Obviously different because I'm a mom and my daughter comes first.
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Yeah.
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Period.
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So um, you know, when I I share custody with her, and so when I have her on my nights, I'm not making plans.
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And it's interesting when a man will be like, Well, can't you get a babysitter?
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Well, yeah, I can, but I don't want to, and I'm not going to.
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So, you know, dating is a little different, but every other weekend she's with her father, and I have this time, and that's when I kind of plan.
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And I think there's something really beautiful while I'm dating right now.
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Um, it's also a time of self-discovery and really getting to know myself again and what I want and definitely what I don't want.
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Yeah.
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And, you know, look, I I am not one of these uh cynical women.
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You'll never hear me say, Oh, I hate men, men this, men that.
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I I love men.
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You love men.
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I love men and I love love and I'm such a believer in it.
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I just think that timing has a lot to do with it.
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And I just think that, you know, finding that right person and that right fit is what it's all about.
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And I do think working on yourself constantly, like you cannot go into any situation and think you've got it all down or that you are you have it all figured out because I really truly don't know.
00:16:31.200 --> 00:16:38.960
Even the married ones, I don't, I all of my best friends are married and they come to me for advice, or if they're you know having a little bit of a problem or whatever.
00:16:39.200 --> 00:16:41.519
No one has it all figured out, no one has it perfect.
00:16:42.320 --> 00:16:50.960
So why not continuously try and work on ourselves to show up, be a better mom or a father or you know, partner, whatever it may be.
00:16:51.200 --> 00:16:51.519
Yeah.
00:16:51.679 --> 00:16:55.919
So is that what kind of made you go into the psychology field?
00:16:56.000 --> 00:16:57.840
Because that's a big, that's very different, right?
00:16:58.080 --> 00:16:59.840
It is it's vastly different.
00:16:59.919 --> 00:17:03.360
I've always been fascinated with the human mind and brain.
00:17:03.600 --> 00:17:17.359
And for me, going back to school and getting my master's in clinical psychology um later in life, uh during COVID, while I was still on the news as a single mom, I I mean, I look back and I'm like, what the heck was I thinking?
00:17:17.599 --> 00:17:21.359
And and I don't want to make it seem like I'm a superstar here.
00:17:21.519 --> 00:17:25.440
Like, there were so many moments that I would cry myself to sleep and say, I'm done.
00:17:25.519 --> 00:17:26.960
Yeah, I'm throwing the towel, I'm done.
00:17:27.039 --> 00:17:27.599
I can't do this.
00:17:27.680 --> 00:17:28.400
This is too much.
00:17:28.559 --> 00:17:34.240
And then I would look at my daughter and she was sleeping next to me while I'm like sitting there doing a 30-page research paper.
00:17:34.559 --> 00:17:37.440
And I was like, I can't, I can't, I can't quit.
00:17:37.599 --> 00:17:39.200
Because then what does that say to her?
00:17:39.519 --> 00:17:43.119
And she was the true motivation to keep me going.
00:17:43.279 --> 00:17:54.400
Um, but really the reason why I wanted to go into psychology and help people was because um co-parenting for me, we kind of have found this beautiful balance.
00:17:54.559 --> 00:17:59.279
And don't get me wrong, I I think that there's times where my ex-husband would like to stab me in my eye.
00:18:01.039 --> 00:18:02.079
I mean, I just do.
00:18:02.319 --> 00:18:07.680
But like, but like we also have a very, very beautiful co-parenting relationship.
00:18:07.759 --> 00:18:14.640
And I think the reason why is because we both show up daily for our daughter.
00:18:15.359 --> 00:18:24.880
We take our egos out, uh, we take however we're feeling about one another out, and we show up daily and make our daughter our priority.
00:18:25.039 --> 00:18:25.920
Yeah, she's first.
00:18:26.160 --> 00:18:27.920
That's very unusual.
00:18:28.160 --> 00:18:35.279
It is unusual, but it but I'm telling you, when it comes to co-parenting, when it comes to any parenting, it helps tremendously.
00:18:35.519 --> 00:18:36.160
Yeah, for sure.
00:18:36.319 --> 00:18:40.480
Um, my ex-husband and I, when we post-divorce, we had a very rare relationship.
00:18:40.640 --> 00:18:43.279
We traveled together, we would do dinners together.
00:18:43.440 --> 00:18:45.680
Um, you know, I was in a serious relationship.
00:18:45.839 --> 00:18:46.720
He would come with us.
00:18:46.799 --> 00:18:48.480
Um that is unusual.
00:18:48.720 --> 00:18:49.519
It is unusual.
00:18:49.759 --> 00:18:53.759
The shift really happened between him and I when he remarried.
00:18:53.839 --> 00:18:54.000
Yeah.
00:18:54.160 --> 00:18:54.480
Naturally.
00:18:54.799 --> 00:18:56.240
It's textbook material.
00:18:56.480 --> 00:19:00.480
And I have to say, I find her to be so lovely.
00:19:00.640 --> 00:19:02.000
It has nothing to do with her.
00:19:02.160 --> 00:19:03.359
She's a lovely woman.
00:19:03.519 --> 00:19:04.720
Her family's lovely.
00:19:04.880 --> 00:19:08.079
I gave her a lot of shit that first year that she was in our lives.
00:19:08.319 --> 00:19:09.920
Um, I didn't go easy on her.
00:19:10.079 --> 00:19:12.400
We had to set boundaries, right?
00:19:12.880 --> 00:19:22.880
Um, but uh we're learning and we're we're we're still it's ebb and flow, but but at the end of the day, he couldn't have chosen a better partner.
00:19:23.039 --> 00:19:23.200
Okay.
00:19:23.359 --> 00:19:25.119
And I truly believe that, and that helps.
00:19:25.200 --> 00:19:26.400
Yeah, I respect her.
00:19:26.559 --> 00:19:32.480
And uh more most importantly, she treats my daughter uh very kindly.
00:19:32.720 --> 00:19:44.240
And I think that for me and any any mother listening who has to deal with a stepmom and sharing your child or children, which is so difficult as a mother, because that's like, oh my gosh.
00:19:44.480 --> 00:19:45.119
That's mine.
00:19:45.359 --> 00:19:46.000
That is mine.
00:19:46.160 --> 00:19:50.880
I grew you, you came out of me like you are mine, and no one else is.
00:19:51.279 --> 00:20:00.240
However, try, and I invite anyone to try and shift the thinking, and it's it took me a little bit of time to think this way.
00:20:00.640 --> 00:20:05.680
The more people to love on them, the better, the healthier it is.
00:20:06.000 --> 00:20:10.640
And her and her family couldn't be more loving.
00:20:11.759 --> 00:20:18.960
And um I have to look at that as being beautiful, that that is just the healthiest for my daughter.
00:20:19.039 --> 00:20:23.279
It doesn't mean I'm shut out, doesn't mean my daughter's never going to choose me first.
00:20:23.440 --> 00:20:24.079
I'm her mom.
00:20:24.240 --> 00:20:26.400
We know this in the world of psychology.
00:20:26.720 --> 00:20:30.240
We know children always choose their birth parents.
00:20:30.880 --> 00:20:43.680
Um so you know, I have to look at it as like, wow, how lucky do you get these bonus people who are really great in life to add extra, uh, be extra role models in your life and extra love for you?
00:20:43.920 --> 00:20:44.559
Yeah, yeah.
00:20:44.720 --> 00:20:47.920
So, but that doesn't answer the question of why you went in into the world.
00:20:48.079 --> 00:20:48.960
I want to help others.
00:20:49.119 --> 00:20:54.160
Yeah, I want to help others going through divorce, post-divorce, co-parenting.
00:20:54.319 --> 00:20:58.240
Um, you know, I think the goal should be stay married.
00:20:58.400 --> 00:20:58.720
Yeah.
00:20:59.440 --> 00:21:00.720
I think that's the goal.
00:21:00.799 --> 00:21:00.880
Yeah.
00:21:01.119 --> 00:21:04.640
As a divorced woman, I think that the goal should be stay married.
00:21:04.799 --> 00:21:05.759
Are there exceptions?
00:21:05.920 --> 00:21:06.480
Of course.
00:21:06.640 --> 00:21:12.079
But I think we need to really in 2026, we need to really figure this out.
00:21:12.240 --> 00:21:14.400
Why is the divorce rate so high?
00:21:14.799 --> 00:21:19.200
Um, and and ironically, second marriages are even higher, divorce rate.
00:21:19.839 --> 00:21:24.000
Um, so I mean, we we need to figure this out or or just don't get married.
00:21:24.400 --> 00:21:28.000
So that's so interesting that that you say that because you got divorced.
00:21:28.160 --> 00:21:29.519
Right, and I initiated the divorce.
00:21:29.759 --> 00:21:30.400
And you initiated the divorce.
00:21:30.559 --> 00:21:30.880
Go figure.
00:21:31.359 --> 00:21:31.680
Right.
00:21:31.920 --> 00:21:38.000
So, why do you have the mindset of, you know, like if you would have stayed married, is that something that you regret doing?
00:21:38.880 --> 00:21:39.920
That's a good question.
00:21:40.160 --> 00:21:44.240
Regret, I mean, because you know, they're it's a great question.
00:21:44.480 --> 00:21:45.519
Do I regret it?
00:21:45.599 --> 00:21:48.880
I mean, I have my moments as my daughter's getting older.
00:21:49.359 --> 00:21:59.200
Um, I regret, um I regret not fully thinking what it would be like to have to share her.
00:22:00.160 --> 00:22:08.799
I regret not I I I at the time I wasn't grasping what it would what that would look like because no one knows.
00:22:08.960 --> 00:22:09.599
No one can tell you.
00:22:09.759 --> 00:22:10.880
I'd never done it before.
00:22:11.440 --> 00:22:18.720
Um and I primarily, predominantly, when my parents divorced, was with my mom.
00:22:19.039 --> 00:22:24.079
And so I think maybe I just had this tunnel vision of she would just be with me more.
00:22:24.319 --> 00:22:24.559
Yeah.
00:22:24.960 --> 00:22:28.319
I don't think I really truly thoroughly thought it out.
00:22:28.559 --> 00:22:44.720
And again, my ex-husband is probably one of the most hands-on fathers you'll ever meet, which I'm going to say this, and I think a lot of women, this triggers a lot of women, especially divorcees, but the men's role and the father's role is just as important as the mother's.
00:22:45.200 --> 00:22:46.400
And I truly believe that.
00:22:46.480 --> 00:22:46.799
Yeah.
00:22:47.200 --> 00:22:52.240
So, and I think that a lot of women feel that their role is more important as a mom.
00:22:52.400 --> 00:22:52.559
Right.
00:22:53.119 --> 00:22:55.599
They're the nurturers and it's it's both.
00:22:55.839 --> 00:22:56.640
It is both.
00:22:56.799 --> 00:22:59.920
Um, so going back to regretting, I I don't know.
00:23:00.079 --> 00:23:02.720
I mean, are there parts of it that that I regret?
00:23:02.880 --> 00:23:10.640
Maybe, maybe had we been more mature, maybe if I wasn't so hormonal, maybe a lot of the different things, but I don't think we were the right fit.
00:23:11.039 --> 00:23:11.920
I really don't.
00:23:12.160 --> 00:23:14.960
I don't know if it was um salvageable.
00:23:15.039 --> 00:23:20.880
And and at the end of the day, I go back and say, if it's that toxic, sure.
00:23:21.039 --> 00:23:25.119
If it's gotten that bad, then I do think divorce is the answer.
00:23:25.279 --> 00:23:33.839
And and try and find common ground where you guys can actually be friends and co-parent beautifully and happily.
00:23:34.160 --> 00:23:42.559
Um, because I feel like had we stayed married, we could have actually ended up hated, hating each other, if that makes sense.
00:23:42.960 --> 00:23:53.119
I mean, so yes, divorce shouldn't be the easy answer and out, but at the same time, if it's like if it's that toxic, I can guarantee your kids are feeling it.
00:23:53.359 --> 00:23:53.759
Guarantee.
00:23:54.160 --> 00:23:54.559
For sure.
00:23:54.640 --> 00:23:59.599
But if your goal, like you said, is for people to stay married, then at what cost?
00:23:59.759 --> 00:24:01.119
You know, like at what cost, right?
00:24:01.200 --> 00:24:11.119
And if and if we have therapists right now statistically saying that out of the happily married couples, it's only seven to ten percent, then what are those what what are those other couples doing?
00:24:11.279 --> 00:24:12.000
Right, right.
00:24:12.240 --> 00:24:13.519
Uh seek therapy then.
00:24:13.680 --> 00:24:16.720
Maybe have a middle person come in and try and work this out.
00:24:16.960 --> 00:24:17.200
Yeah.
00:24:17.359 --> 00:24:21.039
You know, I always tell couples, go back to the moment when you guys first started dating.
00:24:21.279 --> 00:24:24.400
Had to have been beautiful, or else you wouldn't have gotten married in the first place.
00:24:25.039 --> 00:24:26.000
Go back to that moment.
00:24:26.319 --> 00:24:28.799
Did you and your ex try therapy first?
00:24:29.039 --> 00:24:29.359
We did.
00:24:29.519 --> 00:24:31.279
We did a year's worth of therapy.
00:24:31.359 --> 00:24:32.799
We really did try.
00:24:33.359 --> 00:24:40.640
Um, and I think that uh I think I hit, I think I hit my breaking point.
00:24:41.279 --> 00:25:02.400
And um, yeah, and I I just felt you know, I had a child psychologist say to me during this time, if you feel like this isn't going to work, getting a divorce now when she was about two years old, a year and a half, two years old, is going to be better on her than waiting.
00:25:02.559 --> 00:25:02.880
Yeah.
00:25:02.960 --> 00:25:08.079
Um, because she's not even going to remember, she won't blame herself, she won't even remember the two of you together.
00:25:08.400 --> 00:25:10.319
And that stuck in my head so much.
00:25:10.400 --> 00:25:14.640
And I just I felt like I don't I don't think that this is going to work.
00:25:14.799 --> 00:25:14.960
Yeah.
00:25:15.279 --> 00:25:20.799
Does she ever, does your daughter like ever ask, you know, about you and your ex like being together?
00:25:21.119 --> 00:25:21.839
Does she remember it?
00:25:21.920 --> 00:25:22.000
Yeah.
00:25:22.480 --> 00:25:27.039
And I show her pictures, and she's she loves seeing pictures of our wedding.
00:25:27.200 --> 00:25:32.240
And um, you know, we are a very communicative family of our feelings.
00:25:32.400 --> 00:25:37.440
We have family meetings together still, and um we used to more.
00:25:37.519 --> 00:25:41.440
I mean, again, a lot has changed since he got married, but remarried.
00:25:41.680 --> 00:25:45.680
But yeah, at an age-appropriate uh way.
00:25:45.839 --> 00:25:47.519
I talked to her about all of these things.
00:25:47.759 --> 00:25:50.880
You know, mommy and daddy loved each other at one point very much.
00:25:50.960 --> 00:25:52.240
It's why we had you.
00:25:52.400 --> 00:25:55.599
That's why, you know, we we created you.
00:25:55.759 --> 00:26:00.880
Um, but sometimes mommy and daddies don't stay married anymore.
00:26:01.039 --> 00:26:08.079
Um, you know, it's interesting because in her grade now, second grade, she has like three or four friends who are going through divorce right now.
00:26:08.319 --> 00:26:08.720
Yeah.
00:26:08.960 --> 00:26:13.279
Um, so she's not uh, you know, this is happening everywhere.
00:26:13.359 --> 00:26:13.519
Yeah.
00:26:13.680 --> 00:26:17.359
And then we go to a pretty religious private school and it's even happening.
00:26:17.519 --> 00:26:17.759
Wow.
00:26:17.920 --> 00:26:28.960
Um, and I think now I just read that statistically it was um nine to twelve year olds, that's when the divorce rate happens, and now it's seven to twelve.
00:26:29.039 --> 00:26:30.000
It it's lowered.
00:26:30.079 --> 00:26:31.839
Oh lowered yeah, yeah, it's lowered now.
00:26:32.640 --> 00:26:32.799
Yeah.
00:26:32.960 --> 00:26:36.240
So I mean, people are getting divorces even sooner.
00:26:36.400 --> 00:26:37.599
Yeah, yeah, unfortunately.
00:26:37.839 --> 00:26:38.160
Yeah.
00:26:38.400 --> 00:26:43.200
I think that's so interesting that you decided to get divorced when she was so young.
00:26:43.440 --> 00:26:53.039
Like you just kind of, you know, you just had you just had this baby, and you're just like your whole life is upside down, and then you're like, okay, you know what, let me throw something else into the mix.
00:26:53.359 --> 00:26:56.400
It it was it was one of the wildest times of my life.
00:26:56.480 --> 00:26:58.640
Yeah, one of the craziest decisions.
00:26:58.880 --> 00:27:09.759
I just remember on the bathroom floor, curled up in a I'm gonna cry, but in a fetal position, just bawling my eyes out, praying to God, like, help me, help me, show me a sign.
00:27:09.920 --> 00:27:11.440
What am I supposed to do?
00:27:11.599 --> 00:27:15.039
Um, but but but staying was not the answer.
00:27:15.200 --> 00:27:26.240
Um, I I was so miserable at that point that um I wasn't showing up as the mother I knew I could be to my daughter if I was happy.
00:27:26.319 --> 00:27:27.440
Yeah, if that makes sense.
00:27:27.759 --> 00:27:33.200
Do you think you had any some semblance of postpartum depression like at that at that point?
00:27:33.440 --> 00:27:36.160
No, no, you were clear, like you knew.
00:27:36.400 --> 00:27:36.640
Okay.
00:27:36.720 --> 00:27:36.880
Yeah.
00:27:37.519 --> 00:27:37.839
Yeah.
00:27:38.079 --> 00:27:38.240
Yeah.
00:27:38.400 --> 00:27:38.640
Yeah.
00:27:38.720 --> 00:27:39.759
Did I have some anxiety?
00:27:39.920 --> 00:27:40.240
Yeah.
00:27:40.480 --> 00:27:45.279
But no, no, no, I've always had a little anxiety, but no depression.
00:27:45.440 --> 00:27:53.839
I was very clear-headed, probably the clearest I had ever been, given my entire world blowing up in front of my face.
00:27:54.480 --> 00:28:03.440
Um, it I so going there are other regrets that I have in my life and moments in my life that I can say that I regret.
00:28:03.759 --> 00:28:06.640
I don't necessarily think that this is a regret.
00:28:06.720 --> 00:28:12.640
I think looking at my ex-husband now and seeing the life that he has always wanted and he's living.
00:28:13.039 --> 00:28:15.839
And I'm I I love that for him and I'm happy for him.
00:28:16.000 --> 00:28:18.799
And then, God willing, you know, I'll have that as well.
00:28:18.880 --> 00:28:20.480
And I have no doubt I will.
00:28:20.640 --> 00:28:20.799
Yes.
00:28:21.039 --> 00:28:25.359
It just looks a little differently and the you know, the timing.
00:28:25.519 --> 00:28:37.680
Um, but I'm I'm happy and I'm able to show up and put my best foot forward every day for my daughter, um, single in this position or dating or whatever I am or what you know.
00:28:38.160 --> 00:28:43.279
Um, so I think that that is healthier for her to see than anything else.
00:28:43.519 --> 00:28:43.839
Yeah.
00:28:44.640 --> 00:28:51.279
And how has your career shifted, I guess, from this divorce, um, also just like your mindset, even?
00:28:51.599 --> 00:28:56.160
Well, well, you know, part of the reason why I wanted to go into psychology too, or the the hours are so much better.
00:28:56.240 --> 00:28:59.200
I mean, news is just the hours were insane.
00:28:59.440 --> 00:29:06.720
And um, I I, you know, I never wanted to have a nanny come in and fill my role.
00:29:07.039 --> 00:29:09.440
Um, to those who have it, God love you.
00:29:09.680 --> 00:29:16.559
There, there's no judgment at all, but I have one child, and that just was never an option for me.
00:29:17.359 --> 00:29:24.799
And so I want to be the one to take my daughter to school, pick her up from school, take her to cheerleading, take her, you know, do all of these things.
00:29:25.039 --> 00:29:27.839
And so that meant uh a different career.
00:29:27.920 --> 00:29:31.200
And I was happy to put the news aside.
00:29:31.440 --> 00:29:35.039
Um, because again, my daughter comes first and she will always come first.
00:29:35.200 --> 00:29:40.799
I mean, that meant to really kind of hang the microphones up, so to speak.
00:29:41.039 --> 00:29:48.240
And this this new career kind of allows me to have a way better schedule that it doesn't bleed into her, and you know.
00:29:48.559 --> 00:29:49.519
Do you you miss it?
00:29:49.680 --> 00:29:53.839
Do you miss like because it's a very, it's a more of a you know, fast paced.
00:29:53.920 --> 00:29:55.200
Yeah, it's it's like a rush.
00:29:55.279 --> 00:29:55.440
Yeah.
00:29:55.599 --> 00:29:56.160
Almost that fast phase.
00:29:56.240 --> 00:29:58.240
It's an adrenaline rush, and I'm an adrenaline junkie.
00:29:58.400 --> 00:30:03.920
Yeah, I as I've gotten older, I've realized that that adrenaline junkie has tamed itself a bit.
00:30:04.400 --> 00:30:12.720
Um, and you know, it's why I'm still on Fox News and and I go on Fox News and Newsmax and One American News Network and Sky News.
00:30:12.880 --> 00:30:17.039
So I am still on the news and I and I love it.
00:30:17.119 --> 00:30:21.839
Um, but I just can't be on it as often as I would love to do it.
00:30:21.920 --> 00:30:23.279
I'm a journalist through and through.
00:30:23.359 --> 00:30:27.519
Like it is, it has been my passion, my dream since I was 12 years old.
00:30:27.759 --> 00:30:29.119
I absolutely love it.
00:30:29.200 --> 00:30:43.839
And it's not just that adrenaline, it's it's it's everything about it storytelling, it's um connecting with people, it's live television, it's um there's just there's so much um that fits my personality in a way.
00:30:44.000 --> 00:30:46.559
But but psychology is so beautiful too.
00:30:46.720 --> 00:30:48.960
I'm finding such growth in that.
00:30:49.279 --> 00:30:58.799
And there's something so beautiful when I have clients after six, nine months, who come to me and write me a letter and say, You have completely transformed my life, and I thank you.
00:30:58.960 --> 00:31:00.160
I'm so much happier.
00:31:00.240 --> 00:31:06.480
I'm in this position now, or I'm I've met the love of my life because of you, or our marriage is saved because of you.
00:31:07.039 --> 00:31:10.000
That's really profound and impactful.
00:31:10.079 --> 00:31:14.799
And like to help one person in the world is is is awesome.
00:31:15.039 --> 00:31:17.279
Wow, wow, that's amazing.
00:31:17.440 --> 00:31:22.720
Um, what do you like most about um being a psychologist?
00:31:22.880 --> 00:31:24.960
Like, what's like the thing like besides for the health?
00:31:25.279 --> 00:31:27.440
So I I wish I was an actual psychologist.
00:31:27.759 --> 00:31:30.160
So I'm a marriage and family therapist.
00:31:30.799 --> 00:31:31.279
Yes, yes.
00:31:31.359 --> 00:31:33.359
So I I did not go for my PhD.
00:31:33.599 --> 00:31:38.079
I just have my master's degree in clinical psychology with an emphasis in marriage and family therapy.
00:31:38.319 --> 00:31:40.160
But um, what do I love most?
00:31:40.319 --> 00:31:43.279
Yeah, well, I think helping people, yeah.
00:31:43.440 --> 00:31:51.119
And and look, I'm wearing a lot of hats right now because I'm also I take a lot of pride in being a Jewish activist as well, an Israeli activist and pro-Zionist.
00:31:51.200 --> 00:31:54.160
And so um I speak out a lot about that.
00:31:54.400 --> 00:31:57.839
And you know, it's it's a mixed bag um of things.
00:31:57.920 --> 00:32:00.799
I'm doing a little bit of everything, and and that fits my personality.
00:32:00.880 --> 00:32:01.440
I love it.
00:32:01.920 --> 00:32:07.759
Do you feel kind of very stretched then, like you're in all different places and you have to be one person here and one person there?
00:32:08.000 --> 00:32:11.119
Um, I mean, it no, not really.
00:32:11.279 --> 00:32:19.119
I I I find my downtime I'm really good as I've aged to make sure that I know when I've hit my limit.
00:32:19.680 --> 00:32:31.440
And that that is the silver lining of co-parenting and sharing custody, is that those those days that she's with her dad, um, you know, if if I don't want to schedule and see anyone, I don't have to.
00:32:32.000 --> 00:32:33.680
And and and I'll do just that.
00:32:33.839 --> 00:32:37.200
I'm I'm totally happy being alone and having alone nights.
00:32:37.440 --> 00:32:40.480
And so, you know, that's where being an only child comes in.
00:32:40.880 --> 00:32:54.559
Um and and so, you know, I I reset and I find that I can be an even more present, patient mother to my child or whatever job I'm doing when I have those moments of just resetting.
00:32:54.720 --> 00:32:54.960
Yeah.
00:32:55.119 --> 00:33:00.720
Was it hard to kind of go because you seem to have gone from relationship to relationship, never really being alone.
00:33:00.960 --> 00:33:03.039
Was it hard to be single again?
00:33:03.200 --> 00:33:05.359
Like, did you know what that felt like to be alone?
00:33:05.519 --> 00:33:13.519
I th I think that it was difficult to um I had this, I was more in love when I got engaged.
00:33:13.599 --> 00:33:19.119
I was more in love with the idea of this is it, marriage, than I was with him.
00:33:19.920 --> 00:33:21.440
That's pretty harsh, and I know.
00:33:21.680 --> 00:33:24.079
Yeah, I know that that's pretty harsh.
00:33:24.160 --> 00:33:29.519
And I will say this the first six months in our relationship, he was so amazing.
00:33:30.079 --> 00:33:41.119
And had he maintained that same way of how he was treating me after we got engaged, I would have fallen madly in love with this man.
00:33:41.599 --> 00:33:43.039
But something shifted.
00:33:43.599 --> 00:33:47.759
Maybe that was something shifted in me, maybe it was him, maybe it was both, I don't know.
00:33:48.079 --> 00:33:53.519
But whatever shifted, I I was no longer in love with the man anymore.
00:33:54.400 --> 00:34:06.559
And I was then starting to grieve the actual idea that this isn't that this isn't going to work, this isn't going to be sustainable, and that whole fairy tale blew up in my face.
00:34:06.720 --> 00:34:07.039
Yeah.
00:34:07.519 --> 00:34:13.280
And um, so I think that that was harder for me to accept than really being alone.
00:34:13.440 --> 00:34:14.880
Right now I'm enjoying being alone.
00:34:14.960 --> 00:34:22.159
It's you know, I'm really enjoying dating and just, you know, enjoying this, enjoying this ride.
00:34:22.239 --> 00:34:22.400
Yeah.
00:34:22.559 --> 00:34:24.719
Um, I don't know how long I'll last for.
00:34:27.119 --> 00:34:29.119
But um I am enjoying it.
00:34:29.199 --> 00:34:42.400
I'm enjoying meeting cool guys and like going out and exploring and um, you know, all while still working on myself and and questioning, you know, what happened in this last relationship?
00:34:42.559 --> 00:34:44.400
What happened in the relationship previously?
00:34:44.559 --> 00:34:45.760
What happened in my marriage?
00:34:45.920 --> 00:34:47.360
Like, these are all things.
00:34:47.440 --> 00:34:49.920
Um, I take 50% accountability for sure.
00:34:50.079 --> 00:34:57.280
Yeah, and so the only thing I could do is work on myself and work on choosing the next partner for me better.
00:34:57.519 --> 00:34:57.840
Yeah.
00:34:58.159 --> 00:35:02.320
Did there come a point ever where you were like, I just feel like like a failure?
00:35:02.480 --> 00:35:04.400
Like I 1000%.
00:35:06.079 --> 00:35:08.079
One thousand percent.
00:35:08.480 --> 00:35:19.280
I um the the the guilt of dragging my daughter into this was what really made me feel like a failure.
00:35:19.360 --> 00:35:24.800
And to to to now have, I never ever wanted to have man after man after man in her life.
00:35:24.960 --> 00:35:28.000
Yeah, and that was one of the exciting parts about when we got engaged.
00:35:28.079 --> 00:35:29.920
I was like, okay, I'm it, that's it, I'm done.
00:35:30.239 --> 00:35:30.559
Stable.
00:35:31.360 --> 00:35:32.079
The stability.
00:35:32.639 --> 00:35:36.960
I mean, it turned out to be be the most unstable situation in my life.
00:35:37.119 --> 00:35:41.039
Yet I really chose him thinking he was going to be the most stable.
00:35:41.280 --> 00:35:43.440
It backfired completely on me.
00:35:43.599 --> 00:36:00.800
Um, so but yeah, I mean, at this point, what I'm craving um and what I will not settle for anything less than stability, consistency, uh, peace, you know, um, friendship, all of those wonderful, beautiful things.
00:36:00.960 --> 00:36:01.119
Yeah.
00:36:01.280 --> 00:36:08.079
Um but I wonder if you're really honest with yourself, if stability is actually what you're craving.
00:36:08.239 --> 00:36:14.400
Because what I'm hearing from you say is that you're this free spirit and you want to, you know, explore life and live life.
00:36:14.480 --> 00:36:17.360
And I wonder if stability would actually feel stifling.
00:36:18.719 --> 00:36:18.960
Yeah.
00:36:19.440 --> 00:36:20.239
Um, right.
00:36:20.400 --> 00:36:22.719
And so I've explored that in therapy as well.
00:36:23.119 --> 00:36:41.360
And I think stability at my age now, in my 40s, and having gone through what I've gone through, you can still have wild fun moments with your partner, um, but be stabilized together.
00:36:41.519 --> 00:36:42.320
Does that make sense?
00:36:42.639 --> 00:36:49.199
And and first of all, let me let me correct something because stability to me doesn't equate marriage and the white picket fence.
00:36:49.360 --> 00:36:49.679
Okay.
00:36:50.000 --> 00:36:53.920
Um, what I'm providing my daughter as a single mother is stability.
00:36:54.000 --> 00:36:54.159
Yeah.
00:36:54.320 --> 00:36:55.840
I'm her home, period.
00:36:56.480 --> 00:37:04.639
So that stability, there's stability already within my four walls and within myself that I create every day.
00:37:04.800 --> 00:37:10.480
Uh, this free spirit, wild, carefree personality, that wants to come out sometimes.
00:37:10.639 --> 00:37:13.440
And and and there shouldn't be any judgment.
00:37:13.519 --> 00:37:14.400
It should be allowed.
00:37:14.480 --> 00:37:15.760
It should be okay for that.
00:37:16.000 --> 00:37:23.199
I like to go and have a couple martinis once a month and in a very, you know, um responsible way.
00:37:23.679 --> 00:37:29.519
But but a partner joining in with that and having that time together, I think can be a lot of fun.
00:37:29.599 --> 00:37:30.880
And that's not boring.
00:37:31.119 --> 00:37:41.280
When the judgment starts to happen, or when again, when you start to control that side and say, no, you can't be that person anymore, that's that's not stability either.
00:37:41.840 --> 00:37:44.000
That's that's not, I don't know.
00:37:44.079 --> 00:37:46.480
I mean, that that doesn't look like stability to me.
00:37:46.559 --> 00:37:50.880
That looks like control, and um that's not healthy either.
00:37:51.039 --> 00:37:51.280
Yeah.
00:37:51.599 --> 00:37:54.639
Did you want your ex-husband to be something different?
00:37:54.880 --> 00:37:56.400
No, my ex-husband was wild too.
00:37:56.719 --> 00:37:57.760
Oh no, no, no, no, no.
00:37:57.840 --> 00:38:00.079
My ex-husband and I had a ball together.
00:38:00.239 --> 00:38:03.199
Yeah, yeah, no, there was there was a mix back.
00:38:03.440 --> 00:38:06.480
He never tried to dim my light at all.
00:38:06.719 --> 00:38:08.400
Uh, my ex-husband did not do that.
00:38:08.559 --> 00:38:11.519
I think this last relationship absolutely did.
00:38:11.679 --> 00:38:11.840
Yeah.
00:38:12.000 --> 00:38:14.239
Um, but but no, my ex-husband didn't do that.
00:38:14.320 --> 00:38:20.719
There was just, we just uh there was a lot of I think before you get into a marriage, and when you're young, you just don't think about this.
00:38:20.880 --> 00:38:33.440
Um, you know, you really need to uh agree on your roles and the, you know, what you what your role is as a woman, what your role is as a man.
00:38:33.679 --> 00:38:40.159
And, you know, there needs to be those tough discussions about the finances, about all of these things.
00:38:40.320 --> 00:38:44.159
Um, and we didn't really go into it with having those uh questions.
00:38:44.320 --> 00:38:58.960
I really think premarital counseling is amazing for anyone wanting to, even before you get engaged, like really sit down and talk with someone to make sure that your roles are in place and you agree on those roles.
00:38:59.360 --> 00:38:59.599
Yeah.
00:38:59.760 --> 00:39:17.119
I think there is a miss a misconception these days about the the male role versus the female role, you know, because we are these females that we're ambitious and we we are successful and all that, but really at the end of the day, we we want to be mothers and we want to be home and we want to be you hit the nail on the head.
00:39:17.280 --> 00:39:17.920
That's exactly it.
00:39:18.000 --> 00:39:24.800
Yeah, and I think when my ex-husband met me, I was in the height of my career on entertainment tonight, on network news, all these amazing things happening.
00:39:24.880 --> 00:39:27.840
But the reality was I just wanted to be taken care of.
00:39:28.559 --> 00:39:31.760
I just wanted to be home and have five babies and do shit.
00:39:32.079 --> 00:39:32.320
Really?
00:39:32.480 --> 00:39:33.679
Yeah, yeah.
00:39:33.920 --> 00:39:39.599
I didn't want to work anymore, I was exhausted, I didn't I didn't want to feel that pressure anymore.
00:39:39.920 --> 00:39:44.159
And that that wasn't a reality, that wasn't even an option.
00:39:44.880 --> 00:39:52.480
And so that created a lot of um friction and um unhappiness on my end.
00:39:53.119 --> 00:39:54.559
But those were things we should have talked about.
00:39:54.719 --> 00:39:54.880
Right.
00:39:55.119 --> 00:40:00.159
And in a way, we did, but but I think that I was, you know, going into it.
00:40:00.239 --> 00:40:00.960
Oh, he'll change.
00:40:01.119 --> 00:40:02.000
Oh, he'll change.
00:40:02.159 --> 00:40:15.840
And I have to say that the red flags you see uh while dating, or maybe they're not even red flags, but the things that might bother you or that might come up for you while dating, I can assure you, times it by a hundred when you're married.
00:40:16.079 --> 00:40:18.800
So figure it out while you're dating before you get married.
00:40:18.960 --> 00:40:19.280
For sure.
00:40:19.440 --> 00:40:20.239
And that goes both ways.
00:40:20.320 --> 00:40:21.920
Like I'm sure I had my own shit too.
00:40:22.079 --> 00:40:22.719
Yeah, for sure.
00:40:23.119 --> 00:40:26.239
Because I'm far from perfect, but it's like you need to talk about those things.
00:40:26.480 --> 00:40:33.440
Yeah, but I think at the end of the day, no matter how successful a woman is, they just want to be taken care of.
00:40:33.679 --> 00:40:34.000
Totally.
00:40:34.079 --> 00:40:39.199
And I think that, you know, it's a pretty simple uh formula.
00:40:39.360 --> 00:40:49.360
I think that the safer a woman feels emotionally, financially, mentally, by from their man, then the more peace they're going to bring their man.
00:40:49.519 --> 00:40:53.840
And a man needs peace, they just want peace at the end of the day.
00:40:53.920 --> 00:40:55.920
Um, but it's a vicious cycle.
00:40:56.000 --> 00:40:59.440
Uh, and I think that people don't really realize this.
00:40:59.679 --> 00:41:09.840
It is a cycle, and the more emotional stability and all of like the safer you're making your woman feel, the more peace she's going to provide, and it's harmony.
00:41:10.239 --> 00:41:13.760
And it it really can be a blissful, beautiful relationship.
00:41:14.000 --> 00:41:25.119
But once that gets off track, yeah, uh, the balance starts to shift, and I I think that that's when chaos can be created.
00:41:25.360 --> 00:41:25.760
Yeah.
00:41:26.000 --> 00:41:30.880
I always say that there are we have our roles for a reason, right?
00:41:30.960 --> 00:41:32.239
Like God made it that way.
00:41:32.559 --> 00:41:34.960
But like we have and and Biblical times.
00:41:35.119 --> 00:41:35.280
Yeah.
00:41:35.519 --> 00:41:36.480
It's in our DNA.
00:41:36.719 --> 00:41:37.519
It it really is.
00:41:37.679 --> 00:41:39.519
I don't want to be a man, right?
00:41:39.599 --> 00:41:40.400
I don't want to be a man.
00:41:40.719 --> 00:41:42.559
I don't want a man's role either.
00:41:42.719 --> 00:41:45.440
I don't want to be working 40 hours a week.
00:41:46.159 --> 00:41:49.440
Or at least give me the choice or the option.
00:41:50.159 --> 00:41:50.480
Yeah.
00:41:50.639 --> 00:41:51.440
You know, to do that.
00:41:51.599 --> 00:42:01.039
And it's so interesting that you're saying that because you are this career woman, and you've you've you've just like you said, you were at that height because because you had to be.
00:42:01.280 --> 00:42:01.920
Always.
00:42:02.159 --> 00:42:02.719
Correct.
00:42:02.880 --> 00:42:06.000
But you said that you always wanted to be on the news and you always wanted to do that.
00:42:06.079 --> 00:42:08.159
And and that was before becoming a mom.
00:42:08.320 --> 00:42:10.480
And I worked my butt off, and I'm so happy.
00:42:10.559 --> 00:42:14.639
And I do truly believe that a woman needs to have her own identity.
00:42:14.880 --> 00:42:18.400
And I do believe that a woman should always have her own separate bank account.
00:42:18.480 --> 00:42:18.719
Yes.
00:42:18.960 --> 00:42:24.079
With at least a nest egg, a year's worth, of course.
00:42:24.239 --> 00:42:31.199
And I I truly do believe that, you know, yes, it empowers a woman to have that career in your 20s, even in your 30s.
00:42:31.360 --> 00:42:40.079
But but having the option when you get married to just kind of let go and not be in survival mode anymore, it's really refreshing and beautiful.
00:42:40.159 --> 00:42:49.280
And a woman can just open up and be her feminine self that um I think can really provide so much peace and beauty in a home.
00:42:49.519 --> 00:42:54.239
So, do you think that when the woman is the breadwinner and like the husband's like the Mr.
00:42:54.400 --> 00:42:58.079
Mom, like they like to call it, that those marriages really can't work?
00:42:58.320 --> 00:43:00.079
Oh, I think it they they can.
00:43:00.480 --> 00:43:05.519
Um, I just think that it depends on, you know, individually.
00:43:05.679 --> 00:43:12.639
I mean, that that wouldn't work for me because I just it wouldn't work for me.
00:43:13.119 --> 00:43:19.599
I need to look up to my man, and that requires someone who makes even more money than I do and who's even more powerful than I am.
00:43:20.079 --> 00:43:23.119
Um, so and I know that about myself.
00:43:23.679 --> 00:43:28.079
Um, but if that works for two people, who am I to judge?
00:43:28.239 --> 00:43:30.239
I mean, yeah, sure, then let it work.
00:43:30.400 --> 00:43:34.960
I just think that again, you need to talk about those roles before you get married.
00:43:35.440 --> 00:43:35.920
Yeah.
00:43:36.079 --> 00:43:40.880
Um, I actually just heard a podcast with Rabbi Manus Friedman.
00:43:41.119 --> 00:43:41.679
Yeah, I love him.
00:43:42.000 --> 00:43:42.960
I was just with him this weekend.
00:43:43.119 --> 00:43:43.679
That's great.
00:43:43.840 --> 00:43:49.840
And he said that the key to a happy marriage is for the woman to worship the man.
00:43:50.079 --> 00:43:54.079
And I think the only way that that you can do that is by respecting him, right?
00:43:54.239 --> 00:43:59.679
And not only financially, but like in every aspect that he's gonna take care of you, he is the guy.
00:44:00.079 --> 00:44:01.840
That's going to 1000%.
00:44:02.320 --> 00:44:11.519
When I look back at my relationships and why they failed, I lost respect for every man toward the end of the relationship for different reasons.
00:44:12.559 --> 00:44:12.800
Okay.
00:44:13.199 --> 00:44:17.519
But looking back, I was losing respect for the man.
00:44:19.039 --> 00:44:27.360
And so, yeah, I mean, if you're not worshiping your man and and putting them on a pedestal, I'm not sure.
00:44:27.519 --> 00:44:29.599
And and same with the man.
00:44:29.679 --> 00:44:36.800
If you're not respecting your woman and putting her on a pedestal, obviously differently, then I don't really see how how it's going to work.
00:44:37.440 --> 00:44:45.440
But it's funny because from that comment from that comment that he said, there were a lot of comments from women that were kind of like offended by that.
00:44:45.599 --> 00:44:47.280
Like, I don't need to worship my husband.
00:44:47.760 --> 00:44:48.239
Interesting.
00:44:48.400 --> 00:44:54.000
You know, um, because we're still in the mindset of like we could do it on our own.
00:44:54.159 --> 00:44:54.800
We don't need a man.
00:44:55.199 --> 00:44:56.079
We can, we can.
00:44:56.239 --> 00:44:56.880
We can, but we can.
00:44:57.119 --> 00:44:57.920
We absolutely can.
00:44:58.079 --> 00:45:00.880
But but I mean, it the question is, do you want to?
00:45:01.199 --> 00:45:04.800
And if you want to, okay, by all means, go for it.
00:45:05.039 --> 00:45:10.880
Um, but I am contrary to what so many people might think, I'm more of a traditional woman.
00:45:11.119 --> 00:45:16.559
Um, and I I, you know, but but we can do it all, and I think that that's a beautiful thing.
00:45:16.639 --> 00:45:21.440
And I definitely want my daughter and other women to know that that's yes, you can.
00:45:21.519 --> 00:45:22.800
Yeah, yes, you can.
00:45:22.960 --> 00:45:25.440
Uh, but but the question is, is do you want to?
00:45:25.599 --> 00:45:26.000
Yeah.
00:45:26.320 --> 00:45:29.519
And I'm sure that men probably get a misconception of you, right?
00:45:29.599 --> 00:45:39.519
Because you're this journalist, psychologist, you know, very accomplished woman that they probably think that you want to be just, you know, the one that takes care of everything.
00:45:39.599 --> 00:45:40.960
And you know, I don't know.
00:45:41.039 --> 00:45:41.679
I I don't know.
00:45:41.840 --> 00:45:44.880
Most men, I think they read me pretty well right off the bat.
00:45:45.039 --> 00:45:45.199
Yeah.
00:45:45.360 --> 00:45:49.440
And they and they they can tell because I I do wear my heart on my sleeve and I'm pretty transparent.
00:45:49.599 --> 00:45:49.760
Yeah.
00:45:49.920 --> 00:45:58.159
And so I do think that they they can tell that um, you know, and I I'm only really drawn to men who are very masculine.
00:45:58.400 --> 00:46:03.840
And masculine men tend to really seek out more feminine, um, softer women.
00:46:04.079 --> 00:46:05.440
And so I I don't know.
00:46:05.519 --> 00:46:20.719
I mean, maybe maybe there's some men who think that, but I the majority of men that I date and go on dates with, I think they can they can tell even after the first phone call conversation that you know, I I'm a more traditional woman.
00:46:20.880 --> 00:46:21.039
Yeah.
00:46:21.280 --> 00:46:22.800
Um and yeah.
00:46:23.119 --> 00:46:23.360
Yeah.
00:46:23.760 --> 00:46:34.400
Can um you tell us like a little bit about your faith and how uh you know, um the journey, I guess, that you went through because you grew up, you said, um, in a Lubavitch home.
00:46:35.039 --> 00:46:35.280
Right.
00:46:35.440 --> 00:46:39.760
So I grew up uh well, I grew up in the Lebovich world, not a Lubavitch home.
00:46:39.920 --> 00:46:40.079
Okay.
00:46:40.239 --> 00:46:43.519
And so my mother is Moroccan Jewish and my father's not.
00:46:43.920 --> 00:46:48.159
Um, and but I was raised very religiously and very Jewish.
00:46:48.639 --> 00:46:51.039
Um, modern Orthodox, we kept a kosher home.
00:46:51.119 --> 00:46:55.280
I went to a Lubavitch Hebrew Academy until I was about 13 years old.
00:46:55.440 --> 00:47:14.239
Um, and you know, it's it's extreme to some people, but what it did was instill the utmost values and and moral compass um that that I use to this day with daily decisions and how I treat others.
00:47:14.800 --> 00:47:20.320
Um so you know, with that, I'm so grateful for it and thankful that I was raised that way.
00:47:20.480 --> 00:47:30.719
And the traditions that were carried down by my mother and grandmother and great-grandmother, you know, are being carried down to my daughter and God willing, her children.
00:47:31.039 --> 00:47:32.159
And it's a beautiful thing.
00:47:32.239 --> 00:47:34.480
Uh Jewish women hold a lot of power.
00:47:34.639 --> 00:47:39.280
Um, in our religion, you are what you what the mother is, not what the father is.
00:47:39.440 --> 00:47:41.199
And so there's a lot of pressure.
00:47:41.360 --> 00:47:47.840
Um, and we are taught, you know, to provide the peace in the home and to bring that peace.
00:47:48.400 --> 00:47:55.039
Um, you know, it was very important to me to marry a Jewish man and have a Jewish uh Jewish babies.
00:47:55.519 --> 00:48:04.000
Um, and it's funny because now, you know, I'm going on dates with non-Jewish men and I'm really wondering if that's such a priority now.
00:48:04.239 --> 00:48:04.880
Oh, interesting.
00:48:05.039 --> 00:48:05.360
I know.
00:48:05.599 --> 00:48:06.400
How did that shift?
00:48:06.559 --> 00:48:09.440
Especially being the fact that you are an activist, right?
00:48:09.599 --> 00:48:13.440
And you wear your, you know, you're not wearing it today, but you usually wear your, yeah.
00:48:13.519 --> 00:48:14.800
It's just hidden under my thing.
00:48:14.880 --> 00:48:15.599
It's a fine necklace.
00:48:15.840 --> 00:48:16.000
Yeah.
00:48:16.400 --> 00:48:18.800
Um, I I, you know, look, a couple of things.
00:48:18.960 --> 00:48:29.199
I I think obviously I have to be with someone who is pro-Israel and um, you know, really believes uh in in any religion.
00:48:29.440 --> 00:48:48.320
I I think as long as you're religious, like I could never be with someone who doesn't believe in God, um, but as long as you're religious and you grew up with some religion and you are pro-Israeli or Israel, then you know, I think that I would not not date you.
00:48:48.480 --> 00:48:59.760
I just I mean, would I prefer a Jewish Jewish man, of course, but um so far the non-Jews I'm way more compatible with for some reason.
00:48:59.920 --> 00:49:03.840
I don't know why, but like there's something, yeah.
00:49:04.079 --> 00:49:05.679
So so who knows?
00:49:05.760 --> 00:49:10.320
And I don't plan to have any more children, and I think that that's a big factor as well.
00:49:10.480 --> 00:49:14.960
Yeah, and so yeah, yeah, but that's that's really interesting.
00:49:15.039 --> 00:49:16.239
That like is it?
00:49:16.639 --> 00:49:18.639
I'm gonna get shit for saying that.
00:49:18.960 --> 00:49:20.000
I know why.
00:49:20.239 --> 00:49:20.639
I know.
00:49:20.800 --> 00:49:29.519
Well, because in in the in the Jewish world, you really, I mean, it's it's it's ingrained in your head, you stick with your kind to stay to stay with your kind.
00:49:29.840 --> 00:49:31.199
Yeah, yeah, but but Mr.
00:49:31.360 --> 00:49:37.280
Big, my five-year, is not Jewish.
00:49:37.519 --> 00:49:42.079
So, I mean, you know, and we had a fantastic relationship for a good four years.
00:49:42.239 --> 00:49:43.920
It was it was amazing.
00:49:44.079 --> 00:49:45.599
So, you know, you just never know.
00:49:45.840 --> 00:49:48.400
Is it hard to kind of flip-flop back and forth?
00:49:48.559 --> 00:49:53.360
Like, you know, you were dating, you your ex-husband was Jewish, and then, right?
00:49:53.679 --> 00:49:56.800
So I don't really put, yeah, my ex-husband was Jewish, and then Mr.
00:49:56.880 --> 00:50:02.159
Big was not, and then um the fiance is was, yeah.
00:50:02.400 --> 00:50:04.559
Yeah, yeah, he's so past tense.
00:50:06.000 --> 00:50:08.639
That is the one person I will never be friends with.
00:50:08.719 --> 00:50:09.440
Isn't that weird?
00:50:09.599 --> 00:50:13.760
I'm like, I can call my high school sweetheart if God forbid I need something, and he would be there.
00:50:13.920 --> 00:50:20.639
And this one, please block my ever contact me.
00:50:20.960 --> 00:50:22.719
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:50:22.960 --> 00:50:25.760
Um, but I I've come to a place now where I pray for him.
00:50:25.840 --> 00:50:28.880
I pray he finds he gets well.
00:50:29.519 --> 00:50:30.000
Exactly.
00:50:30.159 --> 00:50:32.480
Yeah, well said, yeah, exactly.
00:50:32.719 --> 00:50:40.000
Um, so I don't think that I can go, I don't think anyone could go into dating with these blockages or these like you know what I mean?
00:50:40.079 --> 00:50:46.000
I think that that really hurts a woman, especially um post-divorce if you're dating as a single mother.
00:50:46.159 --> 00:50:48.639
Like we put all these like they have to di.
00:50:50.079 --> 00:50:53.440
I think that really restricts you from possibly finding the love of your life.
00:50:53.599 --> 00:50:53.760
Yeah.
00:50:54.000 --> 00:50:56.559
And um, you know, so I'm open.
00:50:56.800 --> 00:50:57.199
Yeah.
00:50:57.440 --> 00:50:58.800
No, you're definitely gonna get it.
00:50:58.960 --> 00:50:59.360
I'm open.
00:50:59.440 --> 00:51:04.000
I I I I'm open to men only, but I'm I'm open and I'm open to a non-Jewish man.
00:51:04.159 --> 00:51:13.760
I just, you know, I just want to really, you know, I think that there's so many other things that are way more important than um who they're praying to.
00:51:13.920 --> 00:51:14.400
Yeah.
00:51:14.639 --> 00:51:18.320
Why did you choose after October 7th to wear the high necklace?
00:51:18.400 --> 00:51:18.800
Or you're not gonna be able to do.
00:51:19.679 --> 00:51:20.480
I've always okay.
00:51:20.639 --> 00:51:27.199
Yeah, I've always been one of the only TV journalists, American TV journalists, to wear a Star of David um or a high necklace on television.
00:51:27.360 --> 00:51:32.000
So I've always made it very proudly known that I'm Jewish.
00:51:32.320 --> 00:51:34.239
Why was that a priority for you?
00:51:34.800 --> 00:51:37.760
Uh well, I mean, look at what's happening.
00:51:38.000 --> 00:51:43.920
Well, now, but you said Oh no, I think I think it's always I think I think I think there's always been anti-Semitism.
00:51:44.159 --> 00:51:48.559
Um, I think we got a little too complacent, and I've always felt that.
00:51:48.639 --> 00:51:51.360
And other on air talent wear crosses.
00:51:51.519 --> 00:51:52.480
We see it all the time.
00:51:52.719 --> 00:51:52.880
Yeah.
00:51:53.199 --> 00:51:56.639
Uh so why not wear a tiny little startup, David?
00:51:57.039 --> 00:52:00.800
Um, and why not make that known that I'm Jewish?
00:52:01.039 --> 00:52:30.960
Uh, but I I think now more than ever, we need to fight for our position in the world and um educate people because I think that that's really what's happening is the ignorance and the rumors and the lies that are spreading on social media that couldn't be farther from the truth are just getting so blown out of proportion and spreading like wildfires that people really do believe that we are like the devil here.
00:52:31.199 --> 00:52:34.800
And um, you know, it's I I don't know.
00:52:34.880 --> 00:52:47.440
It it some of the most incredible peaceful humans on this planet are Jewish who literally are born and bred to provide goodness out there in the world.
00:52:47.519 --> 00:52:58.480
I mean, it's we're 15 million people out of the population in the world, and yet we have some of the highest Nobel Peace Prize winners, we have some of the most billionaires.
00:52:58.960 --> 00:53:15.840
Israel is the the number one country that produces the most life-saving cancer treatments, chemotherapy, life-saving medical uh devices out that that are coming from innovative technology come from Israel.
00:53:15.920 --> 00:53:18.400
Um, we have the most amount of doctors.
00:53:18.559 --> 00:53:26.079
I mean, that's not by coincidence that you have this small population who literally want to help others.
00:53:26.239 --> 00:53:28.559
How can we be so evil and bad?
00:53:29.440 --> 00:53:30.400
I don't get it.
00:53:30.559 --> 00:53:30.800
Yeah.
00:53:31.039 --> 00:53:33.519
Um, you know, and and just leave us the fuck alone.
00:53:34.000 --> 00:53:37.119
At the end of the day, I'm sorry to say it, but just fucking go away.
00:53:37.360 --> 00:53:38.400
Just like let us go.
00:53:38.639 --> 00:53:42.559
We're gonna be our own people, totally not getting involved.
00:53:43.360 --> 00:53:44.079
Like, exactly.
00:53:44.239 --> 00:53:47.920
Like just we just want to like eat, pray, love, help.
00:53:48.079 --> 00:53:48.400
Yeah.
00:53:48.639 --> 00:53:49.679
Is that that bad?
00:53:49.840 --> 00:53:52.719
Like, just you know, I but you can make money.
00:53:52.800 --> 00:53:54.000
I I don't, you know.
00:53:54.480 --> 00:53:56.480
Did you ever get flack for wearing it?
00:53:56.559 --> 00:53:57.039
Like, did we?
00:53:57.360 --> 00:54:08.880
No, I never got flack for wearing it on air, but I did get flack um for posting uh uh an Israeli flag, and this was a year prior to October 7th, uh, when I was with CBS News.
00:54:08.960 --> 00:54:14.960
And this ultimately was one of the reasons, main reasons why I parted ways with CBS News was they wanted me to take it down.
00:54:15.039 --> 00:54:19.360
Um, and all it said was Am Yesrael Chai, which means Israel forever.
00:54:19.760 --> 00:54:26.400
And um, they said it was very biased and that uh a lot of co-workers were actually complaining about it.
00:54:26.559 --> 00:54:44.000
And, you know, mind you, this was a time, this was in 2021, 2022, when you had other TV journalists posting pro-BLM, the X Square, um, you know, pro-transgender, pro-LGBTQ month, pro Mexican heritage, whatever they want to post.
00:54:44.239 --> 00:54:46.559
Yet I couldn't just post a map of Israel.
00:54:46.639 --> 00:54:49.440
I just found that to be disgusting.
00:54:49.679 --> 00:54:58.880
And you know, so sure, that was that was the first uh time I really experienced a bit of anti-Semitism in my career.
00:54:59.280 --> 00:55:13.679
And then post-October 7th, Fox News called and other conservative news networks called, knowingly that I was this proud Jewish journalist, and then I came on and one thing led to the other of kind of you know just speaking out.
00:55:14.000 --> 00:55:24.559
And was there ever on Fox News like an issue with uh you being, I guess, like openly Jewish, even though I I know that they're definitely more pro um, never.
00:55:24.800 --> 00:55:31.440
And you know what upset me the most, especially knowing that I guess it was co-workers who ratted me out.
00:55:31.840 --> 00:55:36.079
I didn't care if you had I I even posted the the the black square at one point.
00:55:36.239 --> 00:55:43.039
Like I would I didn't I would never the hypocrisy the hypocrisy of it was was was so hurtful.
00:55:43.280 --> 00:56:04.639
It's like really like I I knew a lot of gay uh on air talent and I supported their cause and and I you know it it was just so hurtful to hear that like friends or or co-workers would actually call and complain that there was a map of Israel on my personal social media.
00:56:04.960 --> 00:56:09.679
Do you think that they actually did, or that the news 1,000% I do.
00:56:10.320 --> 00:56:10.559
Yeah.
00:56:10.880 --> 00:56:11.360
Wow, yeah.
00:56:11.679 --> 00:56:12.639
Did you ever confront them?
00:56:12.880 --> 00:56:15.199
No, because I don't know who it was anonymous, okay.
00:56:15.280 --> 00:56:19.039
Um, and it was HR that called from New York, and it was a whole big thing.
00:56:19.199 --> 00:56:21.920
Um, but I do think that it came from within.
00:56:22.239 --> 00:56:22.639
Wow.
00:56:22.960 --> 00:56:26.880
Were you the only journalist that was Jewish at the time?
00:56:27.360 --> 00:56:36.079
No, there were others, but I think that I was the only very outspoken um uh, you know, wearing my star of David and making it very known.
00:56:36.559 --> 00:56:47.280
I've always had on my Instagram where you put like your little bio type thing, um, Instagram Twitter X, I I've always had proud Jewish Zionists.
00:56:47.360 --> 00:56:49.119
I mean, this was even before October 7th.
00:56:49.199 --> 00:56:49.360
Yeah.
00:56:49.920 --> 00:56:51.519
So um, yeah.
00:56:51.840 --> 00:56:52.159
Yeah.
00:56:52.480 --> 00:56:55.840
So you were always um this like activist kind of?
00:56:56.159 --> 00:56:58.719
Not activist, but I've always been, I've always made it known.
00:56:58.880 --> 00:57:20.800
I mean, the way that I was raised, and if you're raised in in a Lubovich setting, the the the great Rebbe who I grew up under his teachings always said to be proud of your heritage, to be proud, to be a proud Jew and to always fight for Israel and stand up for Israel.
00:57:20.960 --> 00:57:24.239
And so that was kind of just all I have ever known.
00:57:24.320 --> 00:57:27.440
I mean, I had I had an Israeli flag up in my bedroom.
00:57:27.599 --> 00:57:33.119
I have pictures of it when I was like 11 years old, 12 years old, next to the American flag.
00:57:33.440 --> 00:57:35.599
I mean, it's just kind of how I always was raised.
00:57:35.679 --> 00:57:42.960
I always just had a connection to this beautiful religion and to this beautiful country.
00:57:43.119 --> 00:57:44.239
I don't know, have you been to Israel?
00:57:44.480 --> 00:57:44.800
Of course, yeah.
00:57:45.039 --> 00:57:48.480
Maybe that's just, I mean, I don't care what religion you are when you go there.
00:57:48.559 --> 00:57:50.960
I mean when I'm there, I feel like a sense of calm.
00:57:51.360 --> 00:57:52.000
I don't know what it is.
00:57:52.400 --> 00:57:59.039
I I went to one of the temples, one of the oldest temples, and I fell on my knees and just started bawling my eyes out.
00:57:59.119 --> 00:58:01.760
Like it was so cathartic, but so emotional.
00:58:02.159 --> 00:58:06.320
It's I mean, the history that's around, it's how can anyone deny?
00:58:06.480 --> 00:58:13.840
Like, you know, it's like you have these other religions that popped up hundreds, thousands of years later than Judaism.
00:58:13.920 --> 00:58:17.360
It's just it's mind-boggling when you have the proof right there.
00:58:17.599 --> 00:58:19.760
And uh, you know, people deny.
00:58:20.000 --> 00:58:21.920
Um, but yeah, yeah.
00:58:22.400 --> 00:58:23.840
So wow.
00:58:24.239 --> 00:58:25.199
Um, okay.
00:58:25.360 --> 00:58:27.039
Well, thank you so much for being here.
00:58:27.599 --> 00:58:28.159
Thank you for having me.
00:58:28.480 --> 00:58:29.440
This was amazing.
00:58:29.679 --> 00:58:30.000
Thank you.
00:58:30.239 --> 00:58:32.559
Yeah, really, really appreciated it.
00:58:32.800 --> 00:58:35.599
Um, was there anything else that you wanted to discuss?
00:58:35.840 --> 00:58:37.280
No, I think we talked at all.
00:58:37.599 --> 00:58:38.639
I love my dating.
00:58:38.719 --> 00:58:39.760
My my my dating.
00:58:39.920 --> 00:58:45.119
Yeah, to be content to be continued on when on my dating life.
00:58:45.199 --> 00:58:48.559
That's that seems to be the best um most popular topic these days.
00:58:48.880 --> 00:58:50.400
My dating, my dating life.
00:58:50.639 --> 00:58:52.639
Is it like do people ask you about it all?
00:58:53.199 --> 00:58:57.119
My dating life is like the number one question I get asked.
00:58:57.360 --> 00:58:57.679
Why?
00:58:58.159 --> 00:58:58.880
I have no idea.
00:58:59.039 --> 00:59:08.559
I think that um, I think that a lot of people can relate, and I think that a lot of people want to see, you know, when I got engaged, there were so it went viral.
00:59:08.800 --> 00:59:09.679
It was super public.
00:59:09.920 --> 00:59:10.960
I actually remember that.
00:59:11.199 --> 00:59:13.920
Yeah, and and and I think that's how I found you.
00:59:14.079 --> 00:59:22.320
Yeah, I think because people really were like, we want the good one, like, oh, she's such a good person, and and you know, we want her to win.
00:59:22.400 --> 00:59:26.239
And I see myself in her as a single mom or as a divorcee.
00:59:26.320 --> 00:59:32.800
And it's this like hopeless romantic love story of a second chance, a second opportunity at love.
00:59:32.960 --> 00:59:40.400
And so I think people just kind of can resonate with that, and they they wanna, they, they ultimately want that fairy tale as well.
00:59:40.800 --> 00:59:46.000
And so I think that, you know, when it didn't happen, um, I didn't even know how to announce it.
00:59:46.079 --> 00:59:47.119
Should I have announced it?
00:59:47.199 --> 00:59:48.400
What should I have done?
00:59:48.559 --> 01:00:01.840
I, you know, I I tried to, and I'm still trying to be as respectful to all parties involved, especially considering there's children involved, on why that ended.
01:00:02.159 --> 01:00:07.519
And then now it's all about, you know, look, I tell my daughter all the time, when we get knocked down, we get ourselves back up.
01:00:07.679 --> 01:00:14.960
And I do believe this, and I will say this any form of rejection is God's way of protection.
01:00:15.519 --> 01:00:26.960
And I do really true, truly believe, and I have so much hope that the love of my life um is out there and I will get that fairy tale happily ever after.
01:00:27.199 --> 01:00:27.599
Yeah.
01:00:27.840 --> 01:00:35.840
Well, that's really like that's amazing because for people, I guess, who've gone through all the things that they've gone through, it's really hard to kind of hold on to that hope.
01:00:35.920 --> 01:00:37.599
So, what what gives you that hope?
01:00:37.760 --> 01:00:38.800
Is it just faith?
01:00:39.039 --> 01:00:42.639
I mean, listen, what what's the alternative?
01:00:44.000 --> 01:00:46.239
Just not not being hopeful.
01:00:46.719 --> 01:00:47.519
Right, and that's sad.
01:00:47.760 --> 01:00:51.679
That is sad that kind of makes me sad for a person if you don't have carry that hope.
01:00:51.840 --> 01:00:52.159
Yeah.
01:00:52.320 --> 01:00:55.679
Um, I'm probably one of the most optimistic people you'll ever meet.
01:00:55.760 --> 01:00:57.119
And and I love that about myself.
01:00:57.199 --> 01:00:59.599
I don't I don't want to be pessimistic.
01:00:59.760 --> 01:01:03.840
I like thinking that you know every everything's going to be okay.
01:01:04.159 --> 01:01:08.000
You know, uh, do I know that things might not be at times?
01:01:08.159 --> 01:01:14.000
Sure, I've been knocked down, but but then I also know that things come out of it even better.
01:01:14.079 --> 01:01:17.360
Yeah, and it's been proven over and over again in my life.
01:01:17.599 --> 01:01:29.440
Um, and you know, I I I find good in everyone and maybe a little by default because I really do just think that people are genuinely good out there and they want good.
01:01:29.519 --> 01:01:29.840
Yeah.
01:01:30.000 --> 01:01:33.840
Um, you know, and I think hurt people hurt people.
01:01:34.239 --> 01:01:40.880
And so those hurt people, you know, just maybe they need a little extra TLC, I guess, and maybe a little more hope in their lives.
01:01:41.119 --> 01:01:43.760
So if I can provide that, have a little more hope.
01:01:43.920 --> 01:01:44.159
Yeah.
01:01:44.239 --> 01:01:54.880
And I think that what's unique about you is that a lot of people going through a through a divorce, and I see this with a lot of my clients, they just become very bitter, they become angry, they they blame everything.
01:01:55.440 --> 01:01:56.320
So I get it.
01:01:56.559 --> 01:02:05.119
Yeah, and but like, and they're you know, and so it takes them a while to kind of get to that place where they are hopeful that you know life's gonna look different.
01:02:05.360 --> 01:02:12.480
Um, so you know, and it's it's really hard for them when they are in that really dark, bitter place to get out of that hole.
01:02:12.719 --> 01:02:20.159
So, look, of course, and I you can't just be um, I mean, you can't just think, oh, it's all unicorns and roses.
01:02:20.639 --> 01:02:28.000
I mean, I was in one of the most darkest times of my life besides my divorce, but this was different.
01:02:28.559 --> 01:02:29.360
This was so different.
01:02:29.519 --> 01:02:36.159
After this engagement ended, I this this was the craziest experience I had ever experienced in my life.
01:02:36.480 --> 01:02:44.000
Um, that I was in a very, very dark place for me, someone who was filled with so much hope and light.
01:02:44.159 --> 01:02:55.599
Um, I I allowed myself to sit with that and to try every day uh journal, you know, uh sit with those feelings.
01:02:55.760 --> 01:02:56.719
Why am I having this?
01:02:56.800 --> 01:03:07.599
I mean, we all knew why, because how crazy the situation was, but but I and and how painful it was because I never thought that a human what he did to me, I never thought a human being could do to another human being.
01:03:07.920 --> 01:03:10.559
I just didn't even think it was possible.
01:03:11.119 --> 01:03:13.119
I you know, so that's what hurt the most.
01:03:13.199 --> 01:03:19.599
It wasn't that I was so madly in love, it was it was really, I just didn't think that another person could do that to another person.
01:03:19.840 --> 01:03:38.880
So um I can I can understand like some of your clients and other people who are stuck in that moment, but I invite you to really try and shift your mindset and maybe think that don't take it so personally, what happened to you was because of you.
01:03:39.119 --> 01:03:52.719
Maybe it's because of something they're going through, maybe it's something that they're dealing with, maybe it's the type of person that they are, and maybe ultimately it was because there's something bigger, greater, and better that will that is out there for you.
01:03:52.960 --> 01:03:53.519
Wow.
01:03:53.840 --> 01:03:56.880
And I think on that note, that is amazing.
01:03:56.960 --> 01:04:01.039
And I love and I love I I always love to end on a positive note, you know.
01:04:01.599 --> 01:04:04.480
Um, so thank you again, Brittany, for being here.
01:04:04.639 --> 01:04:10.719
It was so lovely meeting you in person and like next time over cocktails, and we'll have that little wild care free side come out.
01:04:11.039 --> 01:04:13.440
Definitely for sure, for sure.
01:04:13.519 --> 01:04:15.599
Um, would you like to tell people where to find you?
01:04:15.840 --> 01:04:21.440
Sure, Britney Hopper T V, and that's B R I T T, N E Y H O P P E R T V.
01:04:22.239 --> 01:04:23.039
On Instagram.
01:04:23.280 --> 01:04:26.079
On Instagram, yes, yes, it's like my biggest following.
01:04:26.320 --> 01:04:27.360
Yeah, yeah, okay, great.
01:04:27.440 --> 01:04:27.760
Thank you.
01:04:27.920 --> 01:04:28.320
Thank you.