WEBVTT
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Shall we begin?
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One,
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two, three.
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Oh,
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yeah.
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Hey, howdy, and hello.
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It's been, check's watch, far too long since last we gathered together in the spirit of getting buzzed, baked, and blazed off the goodwill and good deeds of our fellow humans.
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I'd be a little bit more abashed about the long gap between podcasts if A, I wasn't a solo artist doing everything from recording to promoting and everything in between, and B, the world wasn't on fire around us with the good guys running around with squirt guns trying to put it all out.
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But that's why I I also decided I couldn't stay away.
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There are too many good guys still at large who deserve credit for their everyday heroics and community service.
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Perhaps no one exemplifies that better than my former colleague and ongoing friend, Casey.
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For her highs, she shares how human kindness can touch animals as well as people, and also how the tender dedication of both her grandmother's caregivers led to them becoming chosen family.
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The nonprofit she recommends during the Because It's Your Cause segment literally goes out of its way to bring affordable and inclusive health and wellness services to those who often face discrimination in health care.
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So don't cry for me, Argentina, especially if you don't get that reference, because this show is going to have you saying, thank you.
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May I have another?
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Hello, hi guys and gals.
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This is Sweeney and I'm really excited today to have as my gaze, as my guest, starting off strong.
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I'm excited to have as my guest, Casey.
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And so I know I kind of have to say that to anybody who comes on because like how rude would that be to be like, and here's a lukewarm welcome to, but I actually really am excited for Casey because we used to work And it's been about a year since we have, right?
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Oh
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my gosh, yeah.
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Over a year now.
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That's wild.
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I know.
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And yet, I still want to talk to you.
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I still want to be like your friend.
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Yeah, it's nice when it's not just reserved for work.
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You're like, oh, this is an enjoyable person.
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So now everybody gets to hear and enjoy getting to know you too.
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So lucky them.
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Anyway, thank you for coming on today.
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So tell us a little bit about yourself.
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Wow.
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So my name is
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Casey, born and raised in the Phoenix area in Arizona.
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Biggest things to know about me.
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I'm a big animal nerd, bug nerd, recently turned plant nerd.
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I never really used to be that into plants, but I'm coming around to them.
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I think you just like everything that's alive is what I've noticed about you.
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Yeah, people too, for sure.
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But if you're out and about with me, it's really hard to get me anywhere and any reasonable amount of time because I'll stop and talk to people and I'll stop and pick up bugs and I'd be like, oh, I have to take a picture of this plant, put it on iNaturalist.
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So
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that...
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To put it on your what?
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On iNaturalist, oh my gosh, it's the coolest app.
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It's a community science app.
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So you take pictures of basically anything that's not a human or like a pet and you upload it to iNaturalist and it helps identify it for you.
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And then it contributes to science.
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So like if you're a scientist, let's say I was a scientist and I was studying the geographic spread of boll weevils or something, or if I was really interested in looking at the blooming times of saguaros and if that's shifting.
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All of the data is public access.
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So I can go and use people's observations.
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If 2000 people have taken pictures of saguaros over the past five years, I can look at those and be like, okay, the saguaros were blooming in this month, this year and this month, this year.
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So yeah, it's so cool.
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But I mostly use it because I don't actually know very many plants and bugs.
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So when I go on hikes, I take pictures of everything and then upload them to iNaturalist to see what they are.
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It's the power of technology in your hands.
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It's so great.
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So yes, I am also just friends with everybody.
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I have had, I would say, four careers.
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I started off wanting to be a veterinarian.
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So I worked in animal care and vet clinics for like 10 years.
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I did research, ecological research.
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I did science education, which is where I worked with Sweeney.
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And also I was a barista many times, which I'm not sure if I want to like count that in there.
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But right now I work in sustainability and urban forestry.
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and least vegetated areas of our city.
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So super cool stuff.
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I had no idea that municipal government was doing any of this.
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So yeah, my dog's name is Emma.
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She's the best.
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And Sonoran Desert is my favorite ecosystem.
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That feels like it pretty much sums it up.
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Yeah, you do.
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You do love your dog.
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Most of your social media pictures are with Emma.
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And we miss having her in the office.
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Although now my dog is roaming around the office.
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so no one is they're not bereft too much except everyone of course still misses Emma
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yeah Emma goes to doggy daycare now and I think I would be more thrilled to be a doggy daycare than she is but she's adjusted well but she's usually in the awkward dog room which is the room where the dogs don't really play they kind of all just wander around or like sit and stare into space or like take naps it's pretty cute
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can we make that a thing for people I need a room where I can just go and sit and be awkward awkward because like at all the buzzfeed quizzes keep telling me I'm an ambivert which I think is true because there are some social situations where I just thrive I'm like yeah I'm here yeah the party can start now all right I'm going to talk to this person and also this person at the same time and there's other times where I'm like I need to go hide in a coat closet and like eat sour worms I have nothing to say to anybody and I don't know how to human right now so yeah I think they need something like that for people
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I think that I am in because I I really thought that I was an ambivert for a really long time.
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And I think I've shifted to saying that I'm an anxious extrovert.
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Like I am an extrovert, but like the added layer of anxiety means that it's not always refreshing.
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I
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could see that.
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I feel like especially after COVID, I don't know what happened to me and my personality, but something happened.
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It was like a magic spell.
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I don't know.
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But I feel like I used to be a lot more social.
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And it's hard to differentiate.
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Is it because I had a kid?
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Is it because I'm getting older?
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Is it because of the pandemic?
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Is it all three?
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Who knows?
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But like, I definitely can tell that social anxiety is a thing more for me now.
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And it seems to be for other people I've talked to.
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So I'm like, I know that I'm still pretty good at forcing myself to go to things because I have that almost muscle memory where I'm like, Okay, once I'm there, I'm almost always fine.
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It's fun.
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I don't regret going, but it's still getting there.
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You're like, Oh, I'm gonna have to get in the car.
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and then drive, which is its whole other thing.
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Anyway, I could just go on about anxious stuff forever.
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But that's not the point of this podcast.
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I can rename it the post high anxiety.
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That can be my podcast after hours or
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something.
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Perfect.
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Love it.
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Your Patreon exclusive.
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Click now to listen to anxious content after dark.
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I know people would love that.
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One other thing that I thought could be cool is you have some of the coolest tattoos i've ever seen do you mind sharing what they are of
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yes so one arm i have all native arizona plants and they're in an elevation gradient so if you're not from arizona and you don't know we actually have all of the biomes except for marine so we have basically rainforests on the top of these mountains in southeast arizona we have alpine forests you name it, we've got it.
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And so particularly if you're driving from Phoenix to Flagstaff, you get this whole array of biomes from Sonoran Low Desert to scrub, juniper, pinyon pine, and then all the way up to the aspens and ponderosa pines of Flagstaff.
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And then if you keep going, you're up in like alpine, alpine.
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So on one arm, I have some native plants in an elevation gradient.
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And then on the other arm, I have some plants and insects that I studied when I was doing research.
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So some butterflies, some bees, and then a bunch of cool wildflowers.
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So my next tattoo is going to be a pigeon because I love pigeons.
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That could be a whole nother podcast too.
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So that's the next on my list is a pigeon.
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Well, that's pretty cool.
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Because I know a lot of people refer to them as rats with wings.
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So I don't remember where I saw it.
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But it was something a tattoo someone had with a frog.
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And it said something about loving the unlovable or something.
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And I really liked that.
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that because I was like why do we choose certain creatures to elevate in love like you love the very obvious one of dogs a lot but you also love the non-obvious ones which I think is cool and because you have you kind of have a sleeve maybe it's a half sleeve you literally wear your heart on your sleeve through your tattoos
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it's true if you find me somewhere and bring up pigeons I will convince you
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to
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love pigeons
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it's gonna
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happen all right it's a threat to anybody
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who's listening maybe I'll take you up on that offer to get the convincing because I like having my preconceived notions challenged.
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Amazing.
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Let's do it.
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All right.
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Well, is there anything else that you want to share before we move along?
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I think the thing
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that I'm most proud of is just personal evolution in so many ways.
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I think that deciding to leave my career path initially when I was going to be a vet was really challenging because I just sort of had an identity built up around it.
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So that is pretty cool.
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And I've had to do that multiple times now just because exploring new careers.
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And yeah, I think it's amazing how much we learn over our lives and how that impacts, you know, our empathy for ourselves and empathy for others.
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Definitely.
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Yeah, I feel like that feels like accepting the sort of never ending journey of it feels like an accomplishment.
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I like that a lot.
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I know we were joking before we were recording about other careers you've had in the past.
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And it's like, I don't even know that person.
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And I feel I feel that way about myself with certain things.
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I'm like, I remember working at Jamba Juice, but I don't always remember all the particulars are how I was feeling necessarily or same when I was like a teaching assistant you have these different epics of your life you move through them and I think it's really cool how we can still retain some of the bigger lessons empathy or you learn how to be a hard worker or do things that could be considered mundane but important and then take those into your next steps because I think it would be pretty boring to be the same person forever or not grow at all
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yeah the thought that came to mind and I feel like I want to preface it I think that there's I don't know if it's a choice necessarily but you can take different things from your experiences right like you're talking about who was I when I worked at Jamba Juice what did I take from that and I think that as we go through our lives there's some intentionality behind what am I taking from this that I'm bringing forward in my life I think if you're somebody who has trauma from a past event like I'm not telling you like oh you should just look on the bright side that's all I have to do yeah
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right I But
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I do think there's something to be said for that thinking back or reflecting on past versions of yourself or just your life story and finding the positive things that you can bring forward, even if you may not have as much control over the negative things that you may bring forward.
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Anna,
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something
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like
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that.
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Yeah, it does make me wonder, though, why our brains are so set on remembering the things cringeworthy or negative or embarrassing things.
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Like when you wake up at three in the morning, you're like, why did I say that in the second grade to my teacher?
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I'm like, okay, we learned that lesson.
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Can we just let it go?
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But our brains are like, nah, just in case we want to surprise you at 3am one of these days, we're going to hold on to this a little bit more.
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But yeah, I don't know.
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I know that the brain really likes to make it so that for things that are painful, those neuronal connections help you steer clear of experiencing that pain again so I'm sure it's like don't say that again don't do that again so it's like we'll keep reminding you we'll keep alarm clocking you at different times in your life but it's like that's why that's a great segue me I think that's why I like having this podcast it's important to me to highlight those things that we do remember that stick out to us that are positive because I for whatever reason because the brain wants to prevent from pain it's like yeah but we also have to remember the things that went well that we'd want to replicate too or that we've seen other people do and we're like hey that seemed to bring someone a lot of joy or brought me joy to see them this person give someone else joy and so I'd love to learn from that so I think especially in these rather depending who you are a lot of us find this to be a dark and depressing time for a lot of reasons that's part of why I've had trouble like coming back and recording an episode I thought about it so many times.
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I'm like, I really should get out there and put something good into the world.
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And I'm like, I can't do it.
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I'm just getting hit with this wave after wave of terrible news always.
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And I'm like, but there's still so many people trying and continuing to spread goodness.
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I'm like, I Yeah.
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good ones is my hope
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totally I think like a lot of people are really struggling and like what is my role right now and I saw this really amazing thing that it had this wheel of like people who build like make up a community right and they were like the people that we think about and the people that I sort of struggle to like I'm not somebody who has a lot of extra like time, energy beyond taking care of myself and like the immediate people around me to like go to protests all the time.
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You know what I mean?
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Like there's, there's things that are very visible that are very important, but thinking more critically about like what, there's so many different roles to play.
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And I think that individual connections and your local community that feels like the most accessible and also feels like something that when it comes down to the nitty gritty, whatever that nitty gritty ends up being is going to be some of the most important too.
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But yeah, I think everybody's really struck because it's hard.
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We like capitalism makes it really hard to do anything outside of just taking care of yourself and the people around you.
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So yeah,
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because we spend so much time getting money.
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Yeah, I don't know.
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I'm like, I don't know when that changed about myself.
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But yeah, I used to be I feel like I'm still an ambitious person.
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person, but I feel like my ambitions have been redirected.
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It's not so much about like, I feel like I want to climb to the top of this tier of this tower anymore.
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It's more like, I want to be able to work enough to be able to survive in that sense.
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But also like, I want to do the things I want to do who wants to spend their lives doing the things that someone else wants you to do the whole time.
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That's something I'm really appreciative about Gen Z and other and even millennials, just this whole different concept of hey what if life didn't have to be this specific nine to five or this whatever drudgery or thing that you don't want to do and you're just surviving to get by we have songs about this people like i
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yeah you see the way that people who are able to set that boundary and take care of themselves the way they're able to like pour into others i think is really something that is challenging like it's something that my therapist and i have talked to where she Like you have to care about yourself first.
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And I'm like, that's really uncomfortable for me.
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It is ultimately like how you are going to give back to others is by taking care of yourself first.
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Yeah, that makes sense.
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But if you are that person and you can't ever say no, like I do have trouble with that word just because it feels it just feels like denying somebody something that they need.
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But I think that's a cool thing that's happening now where it's like, no, you still have to see yourself as a person who needs help, too.
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And I think we all forget that because I was thinking about that the other day.
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You know, we see other people so frequently, but like the only time we see ourselves are when we look in a mirror, really.
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And so we spend so much time literally not even seen ourselves.
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So sometimes I think we forget ourselves too much to our own detriment.
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Well, yeah.
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And you know, thinking about this idea of individual like capitalism is very and colonialism is very like individualistic and thinking about the way that comes into play is you are giving but not receiving like it's a very
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giving,
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extractive, right?
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And so you have to be able to take that separation.
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And then once you do that, then you can step back into building sort of mutual care right or like collective care like I think a lot of self-care conversations that are I see particularly in more privileged spaces is focuses just on the take care of yourself part
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and it's like
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it's like well that's bringing yourself back out of this sort of extractive culture to then be able to put that into building more collective collective care, like whatever that looks like.
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I mean, even if it's literally just taking a walk with your friends once a week, or what, you know what I mean?
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Yeah,
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I know, I never know where these conversations are gonna lead.
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It's like, waxing deep and philosophical, it doesn't take much.
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So apparently, I always have the right guests, because they always manage to get there.
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They're like, and then let me tell you about, let me tell you about pigeons.
00:19:37.560 --> 00:19:44.432
Well, with that, would you like to lead us into talking about what your secondhand high is.
00:19:44.897 --> 00:19:45.878
Yeah, I
00:19:45.939 --> 00:19:50.203
actually, so I'm thinking of two and one is really silly and fun.
00:19:50.305 --> 00:19:56.992
And then I think one is a little bit more, I thought of while we were talking about seeing people be kind to people.
00:19:57.053 --> 00:20:07.705
So the first one that I thought of earlier that just really, I just got such a kick out of, and I think it encapsulates so much about bringing your authentic self to the world.
00:20:07.766 --> 00:20:13.022
I think there's part of that in there and inviting people to into your authenticity.
00:20:13.523 --> 00:20:14.183
So many good things.
00:20:14.223 --> 00:20:23.392
So there's this lake, we have this issue in Arizona, in Phoenix, where we have a lot of red eared sliders, which are a type of turtle.
00:20:23.432 --> 00:20:27.635
I've heard of those like they escape into people's yard and stuff.
00:20:27.675 --> 00:20:30.759
I just saw a post on one of those next door apps or something.
00:20:30.818 --> 00:20:32.240
Someone's like, what do I do with this thing?
00:20:32.500 --> 00:20:36.344
Yeah, so like tortoises and turtles are notoriously good escape artists.
00:20:37.084 --> 00:20:37.203
But
00:20:37.565 --> 00:20:41.327
also people will get red eared sliders as they're really cool.
00:20:41.327 --> 00:20:46.634
common pet store pet and then they're like I'm over it and so they drop them they put them into lakes
00:20:47.013 --> 00:20:54.942
we had that problem in college people would get pet turtles and then release them into this like pond right outside of the university it's nuts
00:20:54.982 --> 00:21:14.843
yes and so there's this one little pond in Tempe it's right next to a restaurant and I was at the restaurant we were on the patio and I saw this guy and he was feeding there's turtles that were coming up out of the pond and he was feeding them something And my first thought was, oh no, what is he feeding them?
00:21:15.284 --> 00:21:19.867
Kind of the way that a lot of people feed ducks and stuff bread, but it can be really bad for them
00:21:20.548 --> 00:21:20.669
just
00:21:20.689 --> 00:21:21.430
because they don't know.
00:21:21.450 --> 00:21:24.633
So I was like, oh, that maybe is concerning.
00:21:24.673 --> 00:21:30.498
And then when we got done eating, we went over to see the turtles and be like, what's going on?
00:21:30.758 --> 00:21:38.566
And it turns out that this guy had bought a container of bread yard slider food pellet and had it with him.
00:21:39.266 --> 00:21:41.910
And so all the turtles were coming out and he was feeding them.
00:21:42.230 --> 00:21:45.776
But then he also had this little stack of Dixie cups.
00:21:46.537 --> 00:21:52.705
And there was like a mom and a kid who walked over a little bit before we had.
00:21:52.746 --> 00:21:57.854
And the guy poured some of the little pellets into a little Dixie cup and gave it to the kid.
00:21:57.874 --> 00:22:00.357
And then like the kid was feed.
00:22:00.458 --> 00:22:07.528
And so he basically like created this tiny petting zoo, slightly more dangerous because turtles snap, feed with your own caution.
00:22:07.568 --> 00:22:08.509
Right.
00:22:08.673 --> 00:22:17.196
But yeah, this guy was just, he just bought turtle food and showed up in this public place and was feeding these turtles and then was like, this is so delightful.
00:22:17.217 --> 00:22:22.833
I hope that other people come over here so I can give them the same experience of feeding the turtles.
00:22:23.425 --> 00:22:26.107
And so then I went and bought a container of turtle food.
00:22:26.208 --> 00:22:28.430
So when I went back there, I could feed the turtles.
00:22:28.790 --> 00:22:30.612
That's how Emma met turtles, also.
00:22:30.652 --> 00:22:31.992
Very cute, her
00:22:32.012 --> 00:22:32.534
first turtle.
00:22:32.733 --> 00:22:36.576
Because you, don't you live, not with a turtle, but you live with a tortoise, right?
00:22:37.738 --> 00:22:38.078
Yeah,
00:22:38.419 --> 00:22:39.819
he's a Sonoran Desert tortoise.
00:22:40.099 --> 00:22:40.480
That's right.
00:22:40.500 --> 00:22:44.544
Those things live for like 120-ish years, don't they?
00:22:44.624 --> 00:22:45.744
Something like
00:22:46.326 --> 00:22:46.665
that.
00:22:46.925 --> 00:22:50.009
The bigger ones do, like the Galapagos tortoises.
00:22:50.650 --> 00:22:51.309
Not the Galapagos.
00:22:51.410 --> 00:22:56.355
I mean, yes, Galapagos tortoises live forever, but the common ones are sulcatas I think.
00:22:57.096 --> 00:22:57.336
Okay.
00:22:57.636 --> 00:23:03.663
Sonoran desert tortoises are 50 to 80 so still a pretty long time but not as long as the giant ones.
00:23:04.183 --> 00:23:06.145
What's it like living with a tortoise?
00:23:06.685 --> 00:23:06.925
Oh my gosh
00:23:06.967 --> 00:23:07.727
she's so cool.
00:23:08.107 --> 00:23:13.874
So a lot of people keep them outside and they do need to have like UV sunlight.
00:23:14.173 --> 00:23:20.540
We live in a rental that has a pretty big backyard that doesn't have a great fence.
00:23:21.061 --> 00:23:21.142
Okay.
00:23:21.162 --> 00:23:57.000
So tortoises are really notorious for digging and they will dig under fences and then you'll find them walking down the road blocks down the road or whatever this happened somebody when i was a kid we found a box turtle walking down the road and it was somebody's pet that had dug out of the yard so anyway so if you have like a really nice enclosed backyard people will keep them in their backyards obviously they're native here but it does get a little bit hot like you can tell when he's like okay i'm done out here and when they bruminate which is like they it's hibernation but it's not true through hibernation because they're not fully asleep or something.
00:23:57.099 --> 00:23:57.420
I don't know.
00:23:57.621 --> 00:23:58.622
I don't know the technicalities.
00:23:58.781 --> 00:24:11.655
Somebody I know who has one, she has like a camera set up and a thermometer set up in the burrow in the backyard because it is sort of anxiety inducing that you're like, okay, my pet is going to be underground for however many months.
00:24:11.915 --> 00:24:12.696
I hope he's okay.
00:24:12.737 --> 00:24:14.157
I hope it doesn't flood rain.
00:24:14.178 --> 00:24:15.400
I hope it doesn't freeze.
00:24:16.220 --> 00:24:30.840
So anyway, so Bob the tortoise goes outside to graze during the day and then he spends the rest of his time inside And when he hibernates, he hibernates in a cardboard box with a bunch of shredded newspaper in the coldest room in the house, which is the laundry room.
00:24:31.761 --> 00:24:38.314
So yeah, I mean, he spends a lot of his time, honestly, you'll see him sort of like walking by occasionally, like he'll move from area to area.
00:24:38.354 --> 00:24:46.106
But most of the time, he like sort of parks himself in a corner somewhere, like kind of in the equivalent of a burrow and is napping.
00:24:46.527 --> 00:24:46.907
What's his
00:24:46.948 --> 00:24:47.148
name?
00:24:47.528 --> 00:24:47.789
Bub.
00:24:48.226 --> 00:25:21.035
bub i do remember that was my experience with bub when i was at your house for that party and he's just kind of like at some point he just wanders in and was kind of like what's up and then kind of goes on his merry way so i was like all right it's so funny well now you know if you want a turtle or tortoise there's a lot of considerations all right well i know you said you had another high sadly probably un-turtle related but probably still pretty in My other one,
00:25:21.055 --> 00:25:24.679
I, so both of my grandmas had dementia.
00:25:24.699 --> 00:25:28.123
And I think I have something to say about the way we think about dementia.
00:25:28.163 --> 00:25:34.609
But going back, so both of my grandmas lived in senior care facilities, like they both ended up in memory care.
00:25:34.650 --> 00:25:38.093
They didn't have, you know, they couldn't live on their own.
00:25:38.133 --> 00:25:44.240
Their kids were still working right there, like, which wasn't really the resources, the people resources.
00:25:44.819 --> 00:25:48.144
I'm definitely a big advocate of like, if you can keep them home, you can keep them home.
00:25:48.144 --> 00:25:50.807
home without wanting to murder each other.
00:25:50.826 --> 00:25:52.067
I think that that's really nice.
00:25:52.288 --> 00:25:57.834
But not everybody has the emotional, financial, logistical resources to take care of their elders.
00:25:58.055 --> 00:26:02.839
So both of my grandmas were in memory care facilities, and they were actually both in really nice ones.
00:26:03.140 --> 00:26:10.708
We ended up being really lucky that both of my grandmas were pretty financially literate, and both of their husbands also were.
00:26:10.748 --> 00:26:12.430
And then their husbands died.
00:26:12.470 --> 00:26:15.373
And so they were collecting their husband's pensions.
00:26:15.532 --> 00:26:17.335
They both also had teacher pensions.
00:26:17.414 --> 00:26:20.924
And so they just They were in a good place financially, which is so, so fortunate.
00:26:21.686 --> 00:26:26.000
They were both at really nice places, but it is still really...
00:26:26.561 --> 00:26:34.788
those places are really challenging because they are, because capitalism, because they're understaffed, the people who are there are underpaid.
00:26:35.108 --> 00:26:46.298
And so my one grandma in particular was, the word that came to mind is difficult and difficult in the sense that a lot of the other old people were content sort of just sitting around and watching TV.
00:26:46.699 --> 00:26:48.861
She is not that, like she wanted to be on the go.
00:26:49.201 --> 00:26:52.163
She wasn't gonna sit down and be quiet, which we love that about her.
00:26:52.183 --> 00:27:30.780
And then my other grandma was at sort of a different stage was dealing with some health issues and like not really getting the one-on-one care that she needed she wasn't really eating and there wasn't a whole lot being done to get her to eat more right like there and it's this is not the fault of the people working there right like they all they're doing the best they can but anyway we hired for both of my grandmas sort of at different points we hired individual caregivers so when I say we are paying my grandmas were paying they didn't know it But we're paying for the facility, which is five million bajillion dollars.
00:27:30.840 --> 00:27:34.980
But then we also had a private caregiver for each of my grandma's on top of that.
00:27:35.329 --> 00:27:39.154
And both of those women were just so incredible.
00:27:39.234 --> 00:27:45.000
And the way that they interacted, people really struggle to deal with people with dementia.
00:27:45.040 --> 00:27:47.163
Like people really struggle in interacting with them.
00:27:47.203 --> 00:27:53.751
A lot of people don't know how to handle it, especially if you're somebody who knew the person before they got dementia.
00:27:54.452 --> 00:27:56.295
It's just really challenging to navigate.
00:27:56.434 --> 00:27:58.738
But both of them were so great.
00:27:59.137 --> 00:28:07.890
And the way that my grandmas just lit up for these women and the amount of like real care.
00:28:07.930 --> 00:28:16.801
I mean, they were especially my one grandma who we had people seven days a week for eight hours a day, every single day.
00:28:16.842 --> 00:28:17.623
They
00:28:17.663 --> 00:28:20.026
were like her closest companions.
00:28:20.086 --> 00:28:20.606
You know what I mean?
00:28:20.646 --> 00:28:21.188
Yeah.
00:28:21.709 --> 00:28:25.534
And I think it was really amazing to see them grow.
00:28:25.634 --> 00:28:54.398
interact with really like all of the elderly folks because there is a level of if they're being hired as a private caregiver they're probably making a little bit more than the people who are at the facility but like it is such a thankless job you know what I mean in terms of really any sort of caregiving for people or animals but I think animals feel a little bit different in the sense that I think there's the difficulties that come along with caregiving for animals are often human and system induced
00:28:54.959 --> 00:28:55.059
but
00:28:55.079 --> 00:29:34.515
you're still having positive interactions with the animals whereas like if you're caregiving for somebody with dementia there's positives don't get me wrong but you're not getting paid well you might depending on the old person might be getting yelled at or like verbally abused you know what I mean my grandma's thank goodness as far as I know we're both nice people so I think that might be my more serious touchy feely one but just caregivers in general it's really amazing and I think especially The way that the caregivers for people with dementia and Alzheimer's see the human and bring out the human in the people that they're caregiving for, I think is just so amazing.
00:29:34.555 --> 00:29:37.440
And I really learned a lot from them.
00:29:37.480 --> 00:29:42.147
One of the caregivers, she would say, she was like, well, you're so good with your grandmas.
00:29:42.208 --> 00:29:45.153
And I was like, well, I've watched people, you know what I mean?
00:29:45.212 --> 00:29:49.902
I've seen the way that people interact and the way that they go with the flow and just...
00:29:50.402 --> 00:29:52.003
to them, it's, you know, it's a job.
00:29:52.044 --> 00:29:55.188
It's also something that they obviously care about, otherwise, they wouldn't be doing it.
00:29:55.509 --> 00:29:56.609
We're still in contact.
00:29:56.690 --> 00:30:00.596
My grandma's died two years ago, and we're still in contact with both of the caregivers.
00:30:00.836 --> 00:30:01.376
Really?
00:30:01.416 --> 00:30:01.957
Yeah.
00:30:02.097 --> 00:30:02.298
That's
00:30:02.357 --> 00:30:02.878
amazing.
00:30:03.199 --> 00:30:05.622
Yeah, we told them, we're like, you're forever family.
00:30:05.662 --> 00:30:08.926
But also the value add for my grandma's.
00:30:09.307 --> 00:30:11.450
I mean, it was the difference between night and day.
00:30:11.529 --> 00:30:17.417
I mean, it really just, I think, changed their quality of life 100 times over.
00:30:17.458 --> 00:30:17.478
I
00:30:17.518 --> 00:30:21.267
mean, I think it takes a really special kind of Yeah.
00:30:21.886 --> 00:30:22.228
Yeah.
00:30:22.969 --> 00:30:27.493
Yeah.
00:30:43.874 --> 00:31:14.356
it better like kind of like we were talking about earlier so is there any specific instance that stands out in your mind of something you saw when they were interacting with your grandmas or was it just kind of I know you talked about kind of in the mundane sometimes it was just the fact that they were there and that they treated them kindly that's kind of a big deal in and of itself like you said especially when people are stressed or have their own stuff going on to have to deal with someone else's hard stuff can be Not always bring out the
00:31:14.396 --> 00:31:15.038
best in you.
00:31:15.200 --> 00:31:16.282
So totally.
00:31:16.323 --> 00:31:17.887
I'm thinking of two.
00:31:17.907 --> 00:31:29.659
The first one I think is my one grandma who like did not have a really good appetite and she was losing weight and like there was some medication that she needed to eat to be able to take the medication, but she wasn't eating.
00:31:29.679 --> 00:31:41.479
And again, like this, the facility was doing their best, but they didn't have the capacity to give her the one-on-one attention to be like, okay, I'm going to sit down with you and get you to eat.
00:31:41.859 --> 00:31:49.573
And so when we hired Yolanda, Yolanda started spending her own money and we had to, we were like, no, give us the receipts.
00:31:49.613 --> 00:31:56.630
We're tried getting these fruit smoothies from McDonald's.
00:31:56.670 --> 00:31:59.211
They're sort of like fruit smoothie milkshake things.
00:31:59.511 --> 00:32:08.299
And then she was getting these protein shakes from I think they're like Shamrock Farms has these super protein chocolate milks or like strawberry milks.
00:32:08.539 --> 00:32:11.823
So she tried all these different things and she was running the extra errand.
00:32:11.863 --> 00:32:19.950
She wasn't like charging that time to us spending her own money on these things to like figure out what my grandma was interested in.
00:32:19.970 --> 00:32:21.851
And she'd always bring her little treats.
00:32:21.911 --> 00:32:25.815
And she also always always brought treats for the other people in the wing too.
00:32:25.935 --> 00:32:32.221
Like if she brought my grandma something, not all the time, but you know, she brought cookies once in a while, she'd bring cookies for my grandma.
00:32:32.301 --> 00:32:45.355
And she also would make sure that she had them for the, in her little wing of the unit, there's maybe six or eight other elderly folks and she would give everybody the cookies or, and she would always bring stuff from the nurses too.
00:32:45.536 --> 00:32:47.317
Just so generous.
00:32:48.179 --> 00:32:50.361
And yeah, I mean, it made a huge difference.
00:32:50.421 --> 00:32:56.836
My grandma, was gaining some weight back and I think had a much better quality of life for the amount of life that she had left.
00:32:57.258 --> 00:32:59.565
The other one I think is for my other grandma.
00:32:59.585 --> 00:33:04.076
Like I said, I was pretty comfortable around my grandma.
00:33:04.577 --> 00:33:10.387
And my dad, it was definitely harder for my dad, but he sort of outwardly did okay.
00:33:10.847 --> 00:33:13.291
My brother wasn't always sure, but he did a pretty good job.
00:33:13.333 --> 00:33:14.493
My aunt did a great job.
00:33:14.535 --> 00:33:16.617
But in general, it's hard, right?
00:33:16.678 --> 00:33:20.324
And different family members, when they would come by, would have sort of different challenges.
00:33:20.684 --> 00:33:20.964
Yeah.
00:33:21.226 --> 00:33:28.257
You could tell that when we came to visit, whether it was just me and my dad or at one point we had all...
00:33:28.961 --> 00:33:40.222
five cousins and my dad and my aunt come, the caregiver would try her best to help facilitate that interaction in a way that was positive for us.
00:33:40.603 --> 00:33:47.075
Which, I mean, obviously you could say like, well, we're her employers, technically the family, because we're like managing the money.
00:33:47.155 --> 00:33:48.096
But I think...
00:33:48.577 --> 00:34:00.415
Recognizing some of the discomfort in people and trying to make visits a more positive interaction, I think was really above and beyond her job description.
00:34:00.455 --> 00:34:03.180
And it was something that seemed to come really naturally to her.
00:34:03.200 --> 00:34:04.982
It was just really impressive.
00:34:05.542 --> 00:34:13.315
Yeah, that just reminds me of how all the things that take so much skill seem to be things we undervalue so much in society.
00:34:13.394 --> 00:34:17.742
Like as someone who has a mom who's a caregiver to my sister, they're just such...
00:34:18.081 --> 00:34:22.005
Thankless jobs, people just kind of are like, oh, this is expected.
00:34:22.346 --> 00:34:26.271
And I think that's another thing this podcast sometimes inadvertently does.
00:34:26.291 --> 00:34:30.414
It draws the attention of all these different lived experiences.
00:34:30.655 --> 00:34:42.447
Learning from other people's experiences is important because I shouldn't have to have a grandma with dementia who needs caregiving to hear your story and be like, oh, wow, yeah, she deserves the best care.
00:34:42.608 --> 00:34:43.909
And I'm so glad she got it.
00:34:44.250 --> 00:34:46.510
But I think that's a really cool high.
00:34:46.690 --> 00:34:48.172
We haven't had a caregiving one yet.
00:34:48.253 --> 00:34:49.916
So that's so
00:34:49.996 --> 00:35:02.784
right to that, like the people who are doing the most for other people or for animals, any sort of social or environmental good, or any sort of caregiving is so underpaid.
00:35:03.329 --> 00:35:05.291
and undervalued in our society
00:35:05.311 --> 00:35:05.492
yes
00:35:05.992 --> 00:35:33.675
i mean the other thing is just like customer service jobs and how you work if you're a barista that's not considered to be a valuable career valuable job but it's something that potentially is a source of constant positive interaction for somebody who doesn't have that outside of their lives you know like there's just so many ways that we undervalue these roles that are really doing some of the most important stuff like i Right.
00:35:33.715 --> 00:35:54.358
I do think that our...
00:36:03.248 --> 00:36:06.938
issue with getting old is all tied back to ableism.
00:36:07.425 --> 00:36:08.146
Because
00:36:08.387 --> 00:36:13.630
I mean, there's some level of obviously beauty standard BS, but it really is tied back to this.
00:36:13.911 --> 00:36:26.282
We are so uncomfortable with any sort of disability and like any sort of reliance on anybody but ourselves and having any lack of control over our bodies.
00:36:26.842 --> 00:36:34.829
And so really, I think that like the type of justice that we need for elderly people, disabled people is it's ultimately disability justice.
00:36:35.050 --> 00:36:43.416
Like it's the same as fighting for people's who have chronic illness or developmental disabilities or life-changing injuries, whatever it is.
00:36:43.577 --> 00:36:46.300
It all feels really tied together.
00:36:46.340 --> 00:36:52.346
Yeah, well, in the United States alone, 25% of people supposedly have a disability.
00:36:52.865 --> 00:37:02.894
I think we'd all be a lot better off if we found ways to be accepting of things that we haven't found a way to change yet and just let things be.
00:37:02.914 --> 00:37:07.182
I think if we did, then everyone could just get on with their lives.
00:37:07.262 --> 00:37:11.527
And like, we could all recognize, oh, this person has this condition, we should help them.
00:37:11.887 --> 00:37:17.012
We're so into being uncompassionate and not seeing people as people right now.
00:37:17.032 --> 00:37:19.034
And I'm like, this just isn't it for me.
00:37:19.215 --> 00:37:19.755
I'm in the wrong
00:37:19.795 --> 00:37:20.396
timeline.
00:37:20.416 --> 00:37:31.367
Yeah, I'm like, we I mean, the other thing is, I think you and I both have the experience being intimate with somebody not not necessarily like a romantic or sexual way, but like in an emotionally intimate way with
00:37:31.987 --> 00:37:32.106
people
00:37:32.126 --> 00:37:45.650
who have disabilities and who are dealing with various Mm-hmm.
00:37:51.425 --> 00:37:54.329
you know, I would get an abortion because, oh my God, like what a sad existence.
00:37:54.728 --> 00:37:56.911
No, like it's not.
00:37:57.251 --> 00:38:00.253
It's the same type of existence as any other human being.
00:38:00.293 --> 00:38:07.320
And I feel like dementia was the same way where it's like, I found so much value in spending time with my grandmas even after they got dementia.
00:38:07.360 --> 00:38:18.349
And I think that you have to go into it with a sense of the things that I value, you know, or the things that society values might not align with the values that they're bringing to the table.
00:38:18.750 --> 00:38:24.775
Like for my grandmas, people are like, oh, well, they don't recognize or their stories aren't true.
00:38:24.795 --> 00:38:27.838
And it's like, okay, then you're meeting your grandma again.
00:38:27.858 --> 00:38:29.260
That's so cool.
00:38:29.460 --> 00:38:33.284
Getting to meet your grandma as a stranger, they think they don't know you.
00:38:33.324 --> 00:38:36.367
That's a super cool, insightful experience.
00:38:36.507 --> 00:38:39.871
Or like, when they're telling stories, the meaning is still there.
00:38:39.891 --> 00:38:47.960
Maybe the dates are mixed up, or they said that their dad was at their grandkids high school graduation, the timelines are mixed up, whatever.
00:38:48.059 --> 00:38:51.344
But the value of those stories still exists.
00:38:51.344 --> 00:38:54.168
whether or not they're like accurate, I guess.
00:38:54.289 --> 00:39:08.152
And so I just think that's so much of like disability and just shared humanity is realizing that the things that you value in your own life are not the be all end all of what personhood is, I guess.
00:39:08.452 --> 00:39:08.773
Yeah.
00:39:09.335 --> 00:39:20.847
And I feel like if you make it far enough in life and you still Haven't gotten to experience things outside of your comfort zone or people whose lives differ so much from yours.
00:39:20.867 --> 00:39:28.086
I feel like it's just to your detriment because you lack an understanding, kind of like you said, how we know from experience.
00:39:28.186 --> 00:39:30.333
And it's just, yeah, there's a lot.
00:39:30.786 --> 00:39:33.568
of ways to get those experiences too.
00:39:33.708 --> 00:39:36.490
You can volunteer, you can widen your social net.
00:39:36.530 --> 00:39:38.592
Lots of people have family members.
00:39:38.672 --> 00:39:42.275
And you know, my sister does have Down syndrome, as a matter of fact.
00:39:42.335 --> 00:39:47.701
And so it's like, I'm used to the stares we've gotten in public and things.
00:39:47.920 --> 00:39:50.583
You have a wide variety of reactions that you get.
00:39:50.643 --> 00:39:52.264
Sometimes you get weird looks.
00:39:52.744 --> 00:39:54.246
Sometimes you get intrigued looks.
00:39:54.487 --> 00:40:01.132
Sometimes you get people coming up to you in restaurants and just letting you know how angelic and special that person is.
00:40:01.152 --> 00:40:07.349
And really, the best reaction I think is just one of if you have questions to ask, I think that's fine.
00:40:07.789 --> 00:40:09.894
I don't think my mom's ever been upset by that.
00:40:09.976 --> 00:40:39.250
But it is weird when you have either that initial gut reaction of Oh, this person is different and kind of weird and scary or oh this person is an angel in human form I'm like now this is just my sister she's a weirdo to really know someone I think is a privilege and kind of like you're saying whether they have dementia or disability or their life is one you don't understand they say it's hard to hate people up close I think it would be great if we had more of that that's the thing I keep coming back to hey what if
00:40:39.771 --> 00:41:24.438
well and I think like it all comes back to I mean you know we talked it like we're talking about getting to know somebody and the privilege of getting to know somebody and what we learn from getting to know people sort of intimately but there's also the privilege of just experiencing being a human with somebody else which sometimes that literally could just mean exchanging pleasantries instead of not acknowledging each other when you're walking by like there's just so many little acts of acknowledging each other's humanism human humanity humanity thank you there's like so many ways to do that and I think that In that, I mean, when I was a barista, when I was a cashier, there were so many different experiences of the world that I learned about just from having these brief interactions.
00:41:24.458 --> 00:41:25.621
Like I worked at Safeway, right?
00:41:26.603 --> 00:41:32.052
We had wealthy people, we had homeless people, we had give me the gambit of people.
00:41:32.152 --> 00:41:33.175
I was just gonna say the word
00:41:33.255 --> 00:41:33.655
gambit.
00:41:33.775 --> 00:41:34.016
Yay.
00:41:34.677 --> 00:41:35.038
Yeah.
00:41:35.739 --> 00:41:40.568
And you get these little almost like snapshots into all these different people's lives.
00:41:40.748 --> 00:41:44.871
You know, I really think that for me, it gave me just shared humanity.
00:41:45.032 --> 00:41:52.559
And the more differences that I learn about, and the more stories I hear about those lives, the more similarities I end up finding.
00:41:52.579 --> 00:41:53.340
And I
00:41:53.420 --> 00:42:00.306
think that's really important going back to these divided times when people just see the world so completely differently.
00:42:00.365 --> 00:42:12.516
But I think recognizing the humanity, as you said, in people, it can kind of strip away some of that stuff that we We just use to build up walls or mountains between us and others.
00:42:12.938 --> 00:42:16.641
Let's stop othering each other, I guess, would be a great first step.
00:42:16.981 --> 00:42:28.795
Yeah, I think the reason that social media companies are so profitable is because they figured out that people are going to react more to things that are divisive.
00:42:28.835 --> 00:42:32.157
They're going to react more to things that are fear inducing, right?
00:42:32.237 --> 00:42:32.958
And I think that...
00:42:33.340 --> 00:42:33.739
Guilty.
00:42:33.760 --> 00:42:35.342
No, same.
00:42:35.402 --> 00:42:37.204
And it's like, I think it's...
00:42:37.423 --> 00:42:43.152
sort of this encouraging, this very black and white us and them.
00:42:43.193 --> 00:43:04.826
And I think that our archetype of a person, of whatever type of person that your particularly social media or your political party or whatever says about somebody who is on an opposing side, I think when you actually meet somebody, it's a lot more complicated than that a lot of the times.
00:43:04.865 --> 00:43:07.664
I That's not making excuses for bigotry.
00:43:07.704 --> 00:43:10.688
That's not making excuses for putting hate into the world.
00:43:10.748 --> 00:43:19.077
But I think that there is a level of a lot of us live in a society and a system that we don't have a lot of safety mechanisms
00:43:19.559 --> 00:43:19.739
and
00:43:20.239 --> 00:43:24.764
that we just have a lot of anxiety and a lot of uncertainty.
00:43:25.445 --> 00:43:32.034
And I think a majority of people are acting out of fear or insecurity or whatever it is.
00:43:32.514 --> 00:43:34.324
And again, that's not an excuse, right?
00:43:35.068 --> 00:43:49.456
I've learned so much from just following pages of people whose life experiences I don't understand right there's this YouTube series it's like born different or like love don't judge it's like these little they're kind of like I've seen love
00:43:49.496 --> 00:43:49.737
don't
00:43:49.817 --> 00:44:07.773
judge but it's like consuming content like that it's not an excuse I'm not making excuses for these people for their bigotry but I do think that understanding where that's coming from for a lot of people or how that was built even if it's saying this person I need to write out of my life.
00:44:07.972 --> 00:44:08.994
This person is not welcome.
00:44:09.014 --> 00:44:11.456
This person is not a safe person.
00:44:11.697 --> 00:44:31.467
All of that is very valid, but understanding maybe where that came from, even if it's not going to help that person in the way that we would like to see them evolve, it can help us for other people who maybe are earlier on in trying to process those anxieties, those same anxieties or those same fears.
00:44:31.788 --> 00:44:35.956
Yeah, I think it can really help guide conversations because that's the part I struggle with most.
00:44:36.036 --> 00:45:23.563
I've asked other people who share my viewpoints politically or spiritually or whatever the case is, because I'm like, help, I have trouble with my presentation of my views and it's hard for me not to be a hothead and go from zero to a thousand wouldn't it be cool though if we figured it out like just talking right now on this podcast and we just like we figured out the solution we're like this is it and we like just wrapped it up and presented it in a nice neat bundle and like okay this is how we're gonna fix this whole situation of misunderstandings and issues with the world but I do think at least talking about it it's a start it makes us think it makes other people think and if it leads somebody to being more open or more considerate, that's a win.
00:45:23.583 --> 00:45:28.268
Well, I appreciate your points of views, your POV as it were.
00:45:28.289 --> 00:45:37.438
And now that we have just about thoroughly covered maybe all of the topics that we've briefly touched on everything.
00:45:39.340 --> 00:45:42.523
I would love to hear about your because it's your cause.
00:45:43.103 --> 00:45:49.577
Yeah, so I learned about this organization at the time they were called Southwest HIV Center, I think.
00:45:50.119 --> 00:45:53.971
And they actually came into Brick Road, which is a queer...
00:45:53.990 --> 00:45:54.913
It is really...
00:45:55.393 --> 00:46:07.423
It's queer coffee.
00:46:25.360 --> 00:46:27.302
And they were super, super nice.
00:46:27.681 --> 00:46:29.483
And they were like, Oh, do you want to get tested?
00:46:29.523 --> 00:46:32.387
And I was like, I'm not while I'm at work.
00:46:32.927 --> 00:46:33.409
But
00:46:35.130 --> 00:46:35.251
my
00:46:35.311 --> 00:46:38.373
finger for blood while I'm making this latte.
00:46:41.097 --> 00:46:45.181
Not ideal, but I ended up making the people were just so nice.
00:46:45.240 --> 00:46:49.224
And so I ended up making an appointment to just do routine testing at their clinic.
00:46:50.387 --> 00:46:52.208
And ended up learning a lot more about them.
00:46:52.248 --> 00:46:56.032
They are a queer sort of focus clinic.
00:46:56.092 --> 00:47:00.056
And then they started off, like I said, with sort of HIV AIDS stuff, but they do so much more.
00:47:00.117 --> 00:47:01.177
They do mental health care.
00:47:01.197 --> 00:47:10.668
Now they've just started doing primary care, which is really amazing for queer folks, especially medical care generally can be challenging to navigate.
00:47:11.268 --> 00:47:14.472
And they also do gender affirming care, which is really huge right now.
00:47:14.512 --> 00:47:31.590
And when there was all of this stuff going around about the administration pulling funding for clinics or places that have gender affirming care, they got it together pretty There was a period of time where they were like, we're pausing just to figure out what we can do.
00:47:31.710 --> 00:47:34.233
Like, we're pausing it to make sure we can still provide all these services.
00:47:34.534 --> 00:47:36.356
But they figured out a way around it really fast.
00:47:36.735 --> 00:47:37.396
And I just think that,
00:47:37.597 --> 00:47:38.257
yeah, they did.
00:47:38.277 --> 00:47:38.318
No,
00:47:38.338 --> 00:47:39.418
truly.
00:47:39.458 --> 00:47:44.043
And so I think that was who I donated my tax credit to this year.
00:47:44.083 --> 00:47:49.570
Being a trans person, especially right now is really scary.
00:47:49.610 --> 00:48:05.766
And so having a clinic that they can get mental health care and regular physical medical care and get gender affirming care and get sexual wellness and anybody can access those services, I think is really just like so critical right now.
00:48:06.168 --> 00:48:11.653
And all of the healthcare providers are like most of the healthcare providers are also queer of some sort.
00:48:11.934 --> 00:48:18.621
So yeah, and they serve I think I was looking at their website, they serve like 80% of their clients are ever below the poverty line.
00:48:18.661 --> 00:48:20.643
Like they're just a really great organization.
00:48:21.324 --> 00:49:14.875
See, it's organizations like these that make me just really happy to learn about because first of all i feel like it's good to have these in your back pocket right we all know someone who's queer here are queer they're queer like there's so there's so many of you know it's just it's part of the human race and they deserve like that's the bare minimum it's like having appropriate care for your body and your needs like that should just be a big dot i think everyone should be spreading the good word about places that are doing good work so prisma community care and their website is prismacare.org so that's pretty easy to remember and I'll put that included in the show notes so that anyone who wants to donate or get involved or right from their website they make it really easy to like request an appointment or get care or get informed, get information.
00:49:15.036 --> 00:49:32.490
And if you live in Arizona, if you're an Arizona taxpayer, they also are a qualifying charitable tax credit organization, which there are not very many queer serving organizations that are currently on that list, because of obviously, like the data that you have to collect to be to qualify for that.
00:49:32.570 --> 00:49:34.632
So keep that in mind for taxes for next year.
00:49:35.072 --> 00:49:48.726
If you're an Arizona resident, apparently, the AZ tax credit is unique to Arizona, it essentially means like, you can donate right now, it's up to And like 938 for joint filers and 470 for single filers.
00:49:49.286 --> 00:49:54.751
And you can donate that amount to like an organization like Prisma Community Care.
00:49:55.172 --> 00:49:57.956
And then you get it back when you file your taxes, essentially.
00:49:57.996 --> 00:50:00.038
So it's like a rebate, which is pretty cool.
00:50:00.818 --> 00:50:11.530
Yeah, it's like if you owe$500 of your taxes, instead of that tax money going towards whatever, you're basically rerouting that tax money to an organization that you care about.
00:50:11.851 --> 00:50:12.731
Also schools.
00:50:13.072 --> 00:50:15.994
So donate to your public schools because they really need it right now.
00:50:16.436 --> 00:50:17.056
Seriously.
00:50:17.577 --> 00:50:17.757
Yeah.
00:50:17.836 --> 00:50:21.161
And they have a separate one, like a tax credit for the schools as well.
00:50:21.240 --> 00:50:23.342
So, so many ways to give.
00:50:23.682 --> 00:50:25.485
Well, thank you for sharing that.
00:50:25.806 --> 00:50:32.273
We've arrived at the point where I asked the question that I know can be a little trippy for some people or some people just have it at the ready.
00:50:32.353 --> 00:50:34.554
So feel free to take a second if you need it.
00:50:34.614 --> 00:50:39.880
But I always ask people what they would like their final thought to be as we wrap up.
00:50:40.440 --> 00:50:41.623
Oh, I had so many thoughts.
00:50:41.663 --> 00:50:41.902
Yeah.
00:50:42.083 --> 00:50:43.023
You know that I'm...
00:50:43.023 --> 00:51:18.382
which one do i pick you know honestly i think next time you are in any sort of if you're picking up coffee if you're at a restaurant if you are at the grocery store when you have the social battery just genuinely ask somebody how their day is or like show genuine interest in somebody's life my favorite question you know i loved asking like what are you doing today or like you know what do you have planned for the weekend and i think you you are going to make that person's day a lot of times but like yeah ask somebody like what they're doing this weekend
00:51:18.782 --> 00:51:34.898
it's great to see people who are beacons of that i know you were like that a lot too in the office even though you were inhumanely busy somehow you always managed to make make those human connections and i think that's why everyone likes being around you so much so i just like people it's
00:51:35.099 --> 00:51:39.344
easy for me to say because i genuinely just think people are interesting and usually cool
00:51:39.664 --> 00:51:43.728
all creatures great and small casey loves them all.
00:51:46.371 --> 00:51:50.014
Well, I really appreciate you being on this podcast.
00:51:50.153 --> 00:51:52.275
It definitely was a lively one.
00:51:52.295 --> 00:52:01.463
So it's, it's always nice to get back in the saddle and get just like a nice excuse to talk to interesting people who I like.
00:52:01.523 --> 00:52:03.505
So how cool is that?
00:52:03.606 --> 00:52:04.547
How cool is that?
00:52:04.567 --> 00:52:09.710
It's so rare, I think to just be like, I'm gonna sit down and talk to my friend for an hour.
00:52:09.731 --> 00:52:09.811
Like,
00:52:10.371 --> 00:52:12.152
I know, I do know you're busy.
00:52:12.253 --> 00:52:14.885
So I can't let you go, sadly.
00:52:14.925 --> 00:52:15.166
I'm
00:52:15.347 --> 00:52:16.369
mostly hungry.
00:52:16.409 --> 00:52:18.534
Otherwise, I was thinking about food
00:52:18.554 --> 00:52:18.976
too.
00:52:18.996 --> 00:52:23.226
I know I was like Taco Bell after this podcast.
00:52:23.246 --> 00:52:24.188
I don't feel like cooking.
00:52:24.630 --> 00:52:25.893
Well, thanks again.
00:52:25.913 --> 00:52:27.657
Yeah, thank you for having me.
00:52:27.737 --> 00:52:30.003
It was fun to talk and we'll talk again soon.
00:52:30.463 --> 00:52:31.326
Yeah.
00:52:31.873 --> 00:52:33.155
Thanks for getting high with us.
00:52:33.494 --> 00:52:35.137
Your support means everything.
00:52:35.876 --> 00:53:00.958
Speaking of...
00:53:01.840 --> 00:53:11.150
Thanks again for listening, and remember to be well, do
00:53:11.190 --> 00:53:11.969
good.
00:00:00.450 --> 00:00:01.510
Shall we begin?
00:00:01.530 --> 00:00:01.590
One,
00:00:03.133 --> 00:00:09.541
two, three.
00:00:10.121 --> 00:00:15.288
Oh,
00:00:24.841 --> 00:00:25.501
yeah.
00:00:26.402 --> 00:00:27.603
Hey, howdy, and hello.
00:00:27.783 --> 00:00:37.871
It's been, check's watch, far too long since last we gathered together in the spirit of getting buzzed, baked, and blazed off the goodwill and good deeds of our fellow humans.
00:00:38.512 --> 00:00:54.906
I'd be a little bit more abashed about the long gap between podcasts if A, I wasn't a solo artist doing everything from recording to promoting and everything in between, and B, the world wasn't on fire around us with the good guys running around with squirt guns trying to put it all out.
00:00:55.167 --> 00:00:58.070
But that's why I I also decided I couldn't stay away.
00:00:58.109 --> 00:01:04.736
There are too many good guys still at large who deserve credit for their everyday heroics and community service.
00:01:05.317 --> 00:01:10.623
Perhaps no one exemplifies that better than my former colleague and ongoing friend, Casey.
00:01:10.963 --> 00:01:22.055
For her highs, she shares how human kindness can touch animals as well as people, and also how the tender dedication of both her grandmother's caregivers led to them becoming chosen family.
00:01:22.575 --> 00:01:34.039
The nonprofit she recommends during the Because It's Your Cause segment literally goes out of its way to bring affordable and inclusive health and wellness services to those who often face discrimination in health care.
00:01:34.579 --> 00:01:41.938
So don't cry for me, Argentina, especially if you don't get that reference, because this show is going to have you saying, thank you.
00:01:41.977 --> 00:01:43.240
May I have another?
00:01:43.810 --> 00:01:46.091
Hello, hi guys and gals.
00:01:46.231 --> 00:01:55.120
This is Sweeney and I'm really excited today to have as my gaze, as my guest, starting off strong.
00:01:55.560 --> 00:02:00.765
I'm excited to have as my guest, Casey.
00:02:00.864 --> 00:02:16.558
And so I know I kind of have to say that to anybody who comes on because like how rude would that be to be like, and here's a lukewarm welcome to, but I actually really am excited for Casey because we used to work And it's been about a year since we have, right?
00:02:16.579 --> 00:02:16.618
Oh
00:02:16.778 --> 00:02:17.819
my gosh, yeah.
00:02:18.181 --> 00:02:18.901
Over a year now.
00:02:18.961 --> 00:02:19.681
That's wild.
00:02:19.962 --> 00:02:20.342
I know.
00:02:20.483 --> 00:02:22.145
And yet, I still want to talk to you.
00:02:22.164 --> 00:02:24.266
I still want to be like your friend.
00:02:24.568 --> 00:02:28.491
Yeah, it's nice when it's not just reserved for work.
00:02:28.512 --> 00:02:30.413
You're like, oh, this is an enjoyable person.
00:02:31.074 --> 00:02:36.300
So now everybody gets to hear and enjoy getting to know you too.
00:02:36.419 --> 00:02:37.281
So lucky them.
00:02:37.320 --> 00:02:40.223
Anyway, thank you for coming on today.
00:02:40.243 --> 00:02:43.508
So tell us a little bit about yourself.
00:02:43.728 --> 00:02:44.168
Wow.
00:02:44.209 --> 00:02:44.669
So my name is
00:02:44.748 --> 00:02:49.633
Casey, born and raised in the Phoenix area in Arizona.
00:02:49.854 --> 00:02:51.836
Biggest things to know about me.
00:02:51.877 --> 00:02:56.581
I'm a big animal nerd, bug nerd, recently turned plant nerd.
00:02:56.722 --> 00:03:00.506
I never really used to be that into plants, but I'm coming around to them.
00:03:00.806 --> 00:03:04.469
I think you just like everything that's alive is what I've noticed about you.
00:03:05.031 --> 00:03:07.332
Yeah, people too, for sure.
00:03:07.693 --> 00:03:20.580
But if you're out and about with me, it's really hard to get me anywhere and any reasonable amount of time because I'll stop and talk to people and I'll stop and pick up bugs and I'd be like, oh, I have to take a picture of this plant, put it on iNaturalist.
00:03:20.680 --> 00:03:20.961
So
00:03:21.001 --> 00:03:21.542
that...
00:03:21.581 --> 00:03:22.604
To put it on your what?
00:03:23.042 --> 00:03:25.864
On iNaturalist, oh my gosh, it's the coolest app.
00:03:25.944 --> 00:03:27.626
It's a community science app.
00:03:27.765 --> 00:03:37.914
So you take pictures of basically anything that's not a human or like a pet and you upload it to iNaturalist and it helps identify it for you.
00:03:37.935 --> 00:03:41.598
And then it contributes to science.
00:03:41.638 --> 00:03:54.969
So like if you're a scientist, let's say I was a scientist and I was studying the geographic spread of boll weevils or something, or if I was really interested in looking at the blooming times of saguaros and if that's shifting.
00:03:54.990 --> 00:03:57.473
All of the data is public access.
00:03:57.552 --> 00:03:59.955
So I can go and use people's observations.
00:04:00.195 --> 00:04:09.545
If 2000 people have taken pictures of saguaros over the past five years, I can look at those and be like, okay, the saguaros were blooming in this month, this year and this month, this year.
00:04:09.586 --> 00:04:11.106
So yeah, it's so cool.
00:04:11.146 --> 00:04:14.850
But I mostly use it because I don't actually know very many plants and bugs.
00:04:15.092 --> 00:04:19.997
So when I go on hikes, I take pictures of everything and then upload them to iNaturalist to see what they are.
00:04:20.016 --> 00:04:22.899
It's the power of technology in your hands.
00:04:22.959 --> 00:04:24.562
It's so great.
00:04:24.721 --> 00:04:28.906
So yes, I am also just friends with everybody.
00:04:28.925 --> 00:04:32.709
I have had, I would say, four careers.
00:04:33.170 --> 00:04:35.333
I started off wanting to be a veterinarian.
00:04:35.353 --> 00:04:38.557
So I worked in animal care and vet clinics for like 10 years.
00:04:38.937 --> 00:04:41.980
I did research, ecological research.
00:04:42.680 --> 00:04:46.305
I did science education, which is where I worked with Sweeney.
00:04:47.386 --> 00:04:52.011
And also I was a barista many times, which I'm not sure if I want to like count that in there.
00:04:52.310 --> 00:05:13.514
But right now I work in sustainability and urban forestry.
00:05:22.863 --> 00:05:25.387
and least vegetated areas of our city.
00:05:25.427 --> 00:05:27.788
So super cool stuff.
00:05:28.290 --> 00:05:32.553
I had no idea that municipal government was doing any of this.
00:05:34.156 --> 00:05:36.459
So yeah, my dog's name is Emma.
00:05:36.478 --> 00:05:37.059
She's the best.
00:05:37.720 --> 00:05:40.622
And Sonoran Desert is my favorite ecosystem.
00:05:41.083 --> 00:05:42.425
That feels like it pretty much sums it up.
00:05:42.764 --> 00:05:43.446
Yeah, you do.
00:05:43.466 --> 00:05:44.747
You do love your dog.
00:05:44.786 --> 00:05:47.550
Most of your social media pictures are with Emma.
00:05:48.290 --> 00:05:50.634
And we miss having her in the office.
00:05:50.834 --> 00:05:52.815
Although now my dog is roaming around the office.
00:05:52.815 --> 00:05:57.641
so no one is they're not bereft too much except everyone of course still misses Emma
00:05:58.062 --> 00:06:17.762
yeah Emma goes to doggy daycare now and I think I would be more thrilled to be a doggy daycare than she is but she's adjusted well but she's usually in the awkward dog room which is the room where the dogs don't really play they kind of all just wander around or like sit and stare into space or like take naps it's pretty cute
00:06:17.862 --> 00:06:50.418
can we make that a thing for people I need a room where I can just go and sit and be awkward awkward because like at all the buzzfeed quizzes keep telling me I'm an ambivert which I think is true because there are some social situations where I just thrive I'm like yeah I'm here yeah the party can start now all right I'm going to talk to this person and also this person at the same time and there's other times where I'm like I need to go hide in a coat closet and like eat sour worms I have nothing to say to anybody and I don't know how to human right now so yeah I think they need something like that for people
00:06:51.038 --> 00:06:55.843
I think that I am in because I I really thought that I was an ambivert for a really long time.
00:06:55.882 --> 00:07:01.348
And I think I've shifted to saying that I'm an anxious extrovert.
00:07:02.110 --> 00:07:08.516
Like I am an extrovert, but like the added layer of anxiety means that it's not always refreshing.
00:07:08.536 --> 00:07:08.557
I
00:07:09.036 --> 00:07:09.637
could see that.
00:07:09.737 --> 00:07:15.944
I feel like especially after COVID, I don't know what happened to me and my personality, but something happened.
00:07:15.985 --> 00:07:17.146
It was like a magic spell.
00:07:17.305 --> 00:07:17.826
I don't know.
00:07:17.927 --> 00:07:20.569
But I feel like I used to be a lot more social.
00:07:20.670 --> 00:07:22.011
And it's hard to differentiate.
00:07:22.130 --> 00:07:23.353
Is it because I had a kid?
00:07:23.392 --> 00:07:25.574
Is it because I'm getting older?
00:07:25.615 --> 00:07:27.057
Is it because of the pandemic?
00:07:27.096 --> 00:07:28.257
Is it all three?
00:07:28.298 --> 00:07:29.038
Who knows?
00:07:29.158 --> 00:07:34.144
But like, I definitely can tell that social anxiety is a thing more for me now.
00:07:34.244 --> 00:07:36.646
And it seems to be for other people I've talked to.
00:07:36.687 --> 00:07:46.877
So I'm like, I know that I'm still pretty good at forcing myself to go to things because I have that almost muscle memory where I'm like, Okay, once I'm there, I'm almost always fine.
00:07:47.237 --> 00:07:47.819
It's fun.
00:07:47.838 --> 00:07:50.922
I don't regret going, but it's still getting there.
00:07:50.961 --> 00:07:52.624
You're like, Oh, I'm gonna have to get in the car.
00:07:52.624 --> 00:07:54.925
and then drive, which is its whole other thing.
00:07:55.307 --> 00:07:58.050
Anyway, I could just go on about anxious stuff forever.
00:07:58.350 --> 00:08:00.211
But that's not the point of this podcast.
00:08:01.673 --> 00:08:06.718
I can rename it the post high anxiety.
00:08:07.600 --> 00:08:10.463
That can be my podcast after hours or
00:08:10.682 --> 00:08:10.903
something.
00:08:11.004 --> 00:08:11.483
Perfect.
00:08:11.624 --> 00:08:12.004
Love it.
00:08:12.625 --> 00:08:14.067
Your Patreon exclusive.
00:08:14.307 --> 00:08:16.850
Click now to listen to anxious content after dark.
00:08:17.209 --> 00:08:18.230
I know people would love that.
00:08:18.851 --> 00:08:26.519
One other thing that I thought could be cool is you have some of the coolest tattoos i've ever seen do you mind sharing what they are of
00:08:28.021 --> 00:08:53.408
yes so one arm i have all native arizona plants and they're in an elevation gradient so if you're not from arizona and you don't know we actually have all of the biomes except for marine so we have basically rainforests on the top of these mountains in southeast arizona we have alpine forests you name it, we've got it.
00:08:53.428 --> 00:09:12.048
And so particularly if you're driving from Phoenix to Flagstaff, you get this whole array of biomes from Sonoran Low Desert to scrub, juniper, pinyon pine, and then all the way up to the aspens and ponderosa pines of Flagstaff.
00:09:12.068 --> 00:09:14.552
And then if you keep going, you're up in like alpine, alpine.
00:09:15.011 --> 00:09:19.115
So on one arm, I have some native plants in an elevation gradient.
00:09:19.155 --> 00:09:25.163
And then on the other arm, I have some plants and insects that I studied when I was doing research.
00:09:25.243 --> 00:09:29.167
So some butterflies, some bees, and then a bunch of cool wildflowers.
00:09:29.528 --> 00:09:33.091
So my next tattoo is going to be a pigeon because I love pigeons.
00:09:33.130 --> 00:09:35.072
That could be a whole nother podcast too.
00:09:36.434 --> 00:09:38.437
So that's the next on my list is a pigeon.
00:09:38.817 --> 00:09:39.658
Well, that's pretty cool.
00:09:39.697 --> 00:09:43.062
Because I know a lot of people refer to them as rats with wings.
00:09:43.442 --> 00:09:44.803
So I don't remember where I saw it.
00:09:44.823 --> 00:09:47.866
But it was something a tattoo someone had with a frog.
00:09:47.927 --> 00:09:51.071
And it said something about loving the unlovable or something.
00:09:51.110 --> 00:09:52.432
And I really liked that.
00:09:52.432 --> 00:10:09.610
that because I was like why do we choose certain creatures to elevate in love like you love the very obvious one of dogs a lot but you also love the non-obvious ones which I think is cool and because you have you kind of have a sleeve maybe it's a half sleeve you literally wear your heart on your sleeve through your tattoos
00:10:10.792 --> 00:10:14.315
it's true if you find me somewhere and bring up pigeons I will convince you
00:10:14.335 --> 00:10:14.495
to
00:10:14.515 --> 00:10:15.056
love pigeons
00:10:15.296 --> 00:10:15.496
it's gonna
00:10:15.517 --> 00:10:17.399
happen all right it's a threat to anybody
00:10:19.221 --> 00:10:25.534
who's listening maybe I'll take you up on that offer to get the convincing because I like having my preconceived notions challenged.
00:10:25.836 --> 00:10:26.317
Amazing.
00:10:26.336 --> 00:10:26.859
Let's do it.
00:10:27.059 --> 00:10:27.301
All right.
00:10:27.341 --> 00:10:30.993
Well, is there anything else that you want to share before we move along?
00:10:31.522 --> 00:10:33.003
I think the thing
00:10:33.043 --> 00:10:38.488
that I'm most proud of is just personal evolution in so many ways.
00:10:39.469 --> 00:10:48.517
I think that deciding to leave my career path initially when I was going to be a vet was really challenging because I just sort of had an identity built up around it.
00:10:48.557 --> 00:10:51.840
So that is pretty cool.
00:10:51.940 --> 00:10:56.182
And I've had to do that multiple times now just because exploring new careers.
00:10:56.222 --> 00:11:08.956
And yeah, I think it's amazing how much we learn over our lives and how that impacts, you know, our empathy for ourselves and empathy for others.
00:11:09.436 --> 00:11:09.976
Definitely.
00:11:09.996 --> 00:11:17.004
Yeah, I feel like that feels like accepting the sort of never ending journey of it feels like an accomplishment.
00:11:17.424 --> 00:11:18.346
I like that a lot.
00:11:18.586 --> 00:11:23.051
I know we were joking before we were recording about other careers you've had in the past.
00:11:23.110 --> 00:11:24.852
And it's like, I don't even know that person.
00:11:24.913 --> 00:11:27.735
And I feel I feel that way about myself with certain things.
00:11:27.796 --> 00:11:59.470
I'm like, I remember working at Jamba Juice, but I don't always remember all the particulars are how I was feeling necessarily or same when I was like a teaching assistant you have these different epics of your life you move through them and I think it's really cool how we can still retain some of the bigger lessons empathy or you learn how to be a hard worker or do things that could be considered mundane but important and then take those into your next steps because I think it would be pretty boring to be the same person forever or not grow at all
00:12:00.071 --> 00:12:30.802
yeah the thought that came to mind and I feel like I want to preface it I think that there's I don't know if it's a choice necessarily but you can take different things from your experiences right like you're talking about who was I when I worked at Jamba Juice what did I take from that and I think that as we go through our lives there's some intentionality behind what am I taking from this that I'm bringing forward in my life I think if you're somebody who has trauma from a past event like I'm not telling you like oh you should just look on the bright side that's all I have to do yeah
00:12:30.903 --> 00:12:33.486
right I But
00:12:33.506 --> 00:12:49.230
I do think there's something to be said for that thinking back or reflecting on past versions of yourself or just your life story and finding the positive things that you can bring forward, even if you may not have as much control over the negative things that you may bring forward.
00:12:49.591 --> 00:12:49.871
Anna,
00:12:49.951 --> 00:12:50.131
something
00:12:50.152 --> 00:12:50.231
like
00:12:50.273 --> 00:12:50.432
that.
00:12:50.692 --> 00:12:59.596
Yeah, it does make me wonder, though, why our brains are so set on remembering the things cringeworthy or negative or embarrassing things.
00:12:59.655 --> 00:13:03.980
Like when you wake up at three in the morning, you're like, why did I say that in the second grade to my teacher?
00:13:04.019 --> 00:13:06.722
I'm like, okay, we learned that lesson.
00:13:06.842 --> 00:13:08.203
Can we just let it go?
00:13:08.224 --> 00:13:16.091
But our brains are like, nah, just in case we want to surprise you at 3am one of these days, we're going to hold on to this a little bit more.
00:13:16.650 --> 00:13:18.212
But yeah, I don't know.
00:13:18.293 --> 00:14:27.384
I know that the brain really likes to make it so that for things that are painful, those neuronal connections help you steer clear of experiencing that pain again so I'm sure it's like don't say that again don't do that again so it's like we'll keep reminding you we'll keep alarm clocking you at different times in your life but it's like that's why that's a great segue me I think that's why I like having this podcast it's important to me to highlight those things that we do remember that stick out to us that are positive because I for whatever reason because the brain wants to prevent from pain it's like yeah but we also have to remember the things that went well that we'd want to replicate too or that we've seen other people do and we're like hey that seemed to bring someone a lot of joy or brought me joy to see them this person give someone else joy and so I'd love to learn from that so I think especially in these rather depending who you are a lot of us find this to be a dark and depressing time for a lot of reasons that's part of why I've had trouble like coming back and recording an episode I thought about it so many times.
00:14:27.424 --> 00:14:29.908
I'm like, I really should get out there and put something good into the world.
00:14:29.948 --> 00:14:31.672
And I'm like, I can't do it.
00:14:31.993 --> 00:14:36.721
I'm just getting hit with this wave after wave of terrible news always.
00:14:36.880 --> 00:14:43.932
And I'm like, but there's still so many people trying and continuing to spread goodness.
00:14:44.092 --> 00:14:45.927
I'm like, I Yeah.
00:15:14.991 --> 00:15:16.553
good ones is my hope
00:15:17.073 --> 00:15:47.535
totally I think like a lot of people are really struggling and like what is my role right now and I saw this really amazing thing that it had this wheel of like people who build like make up a community right and they were like the people that we think about and the people that I sort of struggle to like I'm not somebody who has a lot of extra like time, energy beyond taking care of myself and like the immediate people around me to like go to protests all the time.
00:15:47.556 --> 00:15:48.015
You know what I mean?
00:15:48.035 --> 00:15:57.249
Like there's, there's things that are very visible that are very important, but thinking more critically about like what, there's so many different roles to play.
00:15:57.269 --> 00:16:13.714
And I think that individual connections and your local community that feels like the most accessible and also feels like something that when it comes down to the nitty gritty, whatever that nitty gritty ends up being is going to be some of the most important too.
00:16:14.355 --> 00:16:16.376
But yeah, I think everybody's really struck because it's hard.
00:16:16.417 --> 00:16:23.125
We like capitalism makes it really hard to do anything outside of just taking care of yourself and the people around you.
00:16:23.145 --> 00:16:23.546
So yeah,
00:16:24.047 --> 00:16:27.110
because we spend so much time getting money.
00:16:27.130 --> 00:16:28.613
Yeah, I don't know.
00:16:28.633 --> 00:16:32.398
I'm like, I don't know when that changed about myself.
00:16:32.498 --> 00:16:35.741
But yeah, I used to be I feel like I'm still an ambitious person.
00:16:35.874 --> 00:16:38.778
person, but I feel like my ambitions have been redirected.
00:16:38.798 --> 00:16:44.746
It's not so much about like, I feel like I want to climb to the top of this tier of this tower anymore.
00:16:44.787 --> 00:16:51.096
It's more like, I want to be able to work enough to be able to survive in that sense.
00:16:51.176 --> 00:16:58.265
But also like, I want to do the things I want to do who wants to spend their lives doing the things that someone else wants you to do the whole time.
00:16:58.306 --> 00:17:19.644
That's something I'm really appreciative about Gen Z and other and even millennials, just this whole different concept of hey what if life didn't have to be this specific nine to five or this whatever drudgery or thing that you don't want to do and you're just surviving to get by we have songs about this people like i
00:17:20.463 --> 00:17:35.840
yeah you see the way that people who are able to set that boundary and take care of themselves the way they're able to like pour into others i think is really something that is challenging like it's something that my therapist and i have talked to where she Like you have to care about yourself first.
00:17:35.901 --> 00:17:37.685
And I'm like, that's really uncomfortable for me.
00:17:37.705 --> 00:17:44.805
It is ultimately like how you are going to give back to others is by taking care of yourself first.
00:17:45.185 --> 00:17:46.406
Yeah, that makes sense.
00:17:46.686 --> 00:17:56.336
But if you are that person and you can't ever say no, like I do have trouble with that word just because it feels it just feels like denying somebody something that they need.
00:17:56.415 --> 00:18:03.241
But I think that's a cool thing that's happening now where it's like, no, you still have to see yourself as a person who needs help, too.
00:18:03.261 --> 00:18:06.704
And I think we all forget that because I was thinking about that the other day.
00:18:06.944 --> 00:18:12.750
You know, we see other people so frequently, but like the only time we see ourselves are when we look in a mirror, really.
00:18:12.769 --> 00:18:16.574
And so we spend so much time literally not even seen ourselves.
00:18:16.993 --> 00:18:21.239
So sometimes I think we forget ourselves too much to our own detriment.
00:18:21.439 --> 00:18:21.939
Well, yeah.
00:18:22.259 --> 00:18:35.212
And you know, thinking about this idea of individual like capitalism is very and colonialism is very like individualistic and thinking about the way that comes into play is you are giving but not receiving like it's a very
00:18:35.634 --> 00:18:36.414
giving,
00:18:37.155 --> 00:18:38.196
extractive, right?
00:18:38.257 --> 00:18:41.140
And so you have to be able to take that separation.
00:18:41.180 --> 00:18:59.768
And then once you do that, then you can step back into building sort of mutual care right or like collective care like I think a lot of self-care conversations that are I see particularly in more privileged spaces is focuses just on the take care of yourself part
00:19:00.568 --> 00:19:00.829
and it's like
00:19:01.250 --> 00:19:13.000
it's like well that's bringing yourself back out of this sort of extractive culture to then be able to put that into building more collective collective care, like whatever that looks like.
00:19:13.039 --> 00:19:17.083
I mean, even if it's literally just taking a walk with your friends once a week, or what, you know what I mean?
00:19:17.123 --> 00:19:18.644
Yeah,
00:19:19.265 --> 00:19:22.087
I know, I never know where these conversations are gonna lead.
00:19:22.147 --> 00:19:26.070
It's like, waxing deep and philosophical, it doesn't take much.
00:19:26.551 --> 00:19:30.855
So apparently, I always have the right guests, because they always manage to get there.
00:19:30.894 --> 00:19:35.419
They're like, and then let me tell you about, let me tell you about pigeons.
00:19:37.560 --> 00:19:44.432
Well, with that, would you like to lead us into talking about what your secondhand high is.
00:19:44.897 --> 00:19:45.878
Yeah, I
00:19:45.939 --> 00:19:50.203
actually, so I'm thinking of two and one is really silly and fun.
00:19:50.305 --> 00:19:56.992
And then I think one is a little bit more, I thought of while we were talking about seeing people be kind to people.
00:19:57.053 --> 00:20:07.705
So the first one that I thought of earlier that just really, I just got such a kick out of, and I think it encapsulates so much about bringing your authentic self to the world.
00:20:07.766 --> 00:20:13.022
I think there's part of that in there and inviting people to into your authenticity.
00:20:13.523 --> 00:20:14.183
So many good things.
00:20:14.223 --> 00:20:23.392
So there's this lake, we have this issue in Arizona, in Phoenix, where we have a lot of red eared sliders, which are a type of turtle.
00:20:23.432 --> 00:20:27.635
I've heard of those like they escape into people's yard and stuff.
00:20:27.675 --> 00:20:30.759
I just saw a post on one of those next door apps or something.
00:20:30.818 --> 00:20:32.240
Someone's like, what do I do with this thing?
00:20:32.500 --> 00:20:36.344
Yeah, so like tortoises and turtles are notoriously good escape artists.
00:20:37.084 --> 00:20:37.203
But
00:20:37.565 --> 00:20:41.327
also people will get red eared sliders as they're really cool.
00:20:41.327 --> 00:20:46.634
common pet store pet and then they're like I'm over it and so they drop them they put them into lakes
00:20:47.013 --> 00:20:54.942
we had that problem in college people would get pet turtles and then release them into this like pond right outside of the university it's nuts
00:20:54.982 --> 00:21:14.843
yes and so there's this one little pond in Tempe it's right next to a restaurant and I was at the restaurant we were on the patio and I saw this guy and he was feeding there's turtles that were coming up out of the pond and he was feeding them something And my first thought was, oh no, what is he feeding them?
00:21:15.284 --> 00:21:19.867
Kind of the way that a lot of people feed ducks and stuff bread, but it can be really bad for them
00:21:20.548 --> 00:21:20.669
just
00:21:20.689 --> 00:21:21.430
because they don't know.
00:21:21.450 --> 00:21:24.633
So I was like, oh, that maybe is concerning.
00:21:24.673 --> 00:21:30.498
And then when we got done eating, we went over to see the turtles and be like, what's going on?
00:21:30.758 --> 00:21:38.566
And it turns out that this guy had bought a container of bread yard slider food pellet and had it with him.
00:21:39.266 --> 00:21:41.910
And so all the turtles were coming out and he was feeding them.
00:21:42.230 --> 00:21:45.776
But then he also had this little stack of Dixie cups.
00:21:46.537 --> 00:21:52.705
And there was like a mom and a kid who walked over a little bit before we had.
00:21:52.746 --> 00:21:57.854
And the guy poured some of the little pellets into a little Dixie cup and gave it to the kid.
00:21:57.874 --> 00:22:00.357
And then like the kid was feed.
00:22:00.458 --> 00:22:07.528
And so he basically like created this tiny petting zoo, slightly more dangerous because turtles snap, feed with your own caution.
00:22:07.568 --> 00:22:08.509
Right.
00:22:08.673 --> 00:22:17.196
But yeah, this guy was just, he just bought turtle food and showed up in this public place and was feeding these turtles and then was like, this is so delightful.
00:22:17.217 --> 00:22:22.833
I hope that other people come over here so I can give them the same experience of feeding the turtles.
00:22:23.425 --> 00:22:26.107
And so then I went and bought a container of turtle food.
00:22:26.208 --> 00:22:28.430
So when I went back there, I could feed the turtles.
00:22:28.790 --> 00:22:30.612
That's how Emma met turtles, also.
00:22:30.652 --> 00:22:31.992
Very cute, her
00:22:32.012 --> 00:22:32.534
first turtle.
00:22:32.733 --> 00:22:36.576
Because you, don't you live, not with a turtle, but you live with a tortoise, right?
00:22:37.738 --> 00:22:38.078
Yeah,
00:22:38.419 --> 00:22:39.819
he's a Sonoran Desert tortoise.
00:22:40.099 --> 00:22:40.480
That's right.
00:22:40.500 --> 00:22:44.544
Those things live for like 120-ish years, don't they?
00:22:44.624 --> 00:22:45.744
Something like
00:22:46.326 --> 00:22:46.665
that.
00:22:46.925 --> 00:22:50.009
The bigger ones do, like the Galapagos tortoises.
00:22:50.650 --> 00:22:51.309
Not the Galapagos.
00:22:51.410 --> 00:22:56.355
I mean, yes, Galapagos tortoises live forever, but the common ones are sulcatas I think.
00:22:57.096 --> 00:22:57.336
Okay.
00:22:57.636 --> 00:23:03.663
Sonoran desert tortoises are 50 to 80 so still a pretty long time but not as long as the giant ones.
00:23:04.183 --> 00:23:06.145
What's it like living with a tortoise?
00:23:06.685 --> 00:23:06.925
Oh my gosh
00:23:06.967 --> 00:23:07.727
she's so cool.
00:23:08.107 --> 00:23:13.874
So a lot of people keep them outside and they do need to have like UV sunlight.
00:23:14.173 --> 00:23:20.540
We live in a rental that has a pretty big backyard that doesn't have a great fence.
00:23:21.061 --> 00:23:21.142
Okay.
00:23:21.162 --> 00:23:57.000
So tortoises are really notorious for digging and they will dig under fences and then you'll find them walking down the road blocks down the road or whatever this happened somebody when i was a kid we found a box turtle walking down the road and it was somebody's pet that had dug out of the yard so anyway so if you have like a really nice enclosed backyard people will keep them in their backyards obviously they're native here but it does get a little bit hot like you can tell when he's like okay i'm done out here and when they bruminate which is like they it's hibernation but it's not true through hibernation because they're not fully asleep or something.
00:23:57.099 --> 00:23:57.420
I don't know.
00:23:57.621 --> 00:23:58.622
I don't know the technicalities.
00:23:58.781 --> 00:24:11.655
Somebody I know who has one, she has like a camera set up and a thermometer set up in the burrow in the backyard because it is sort of anxiety inducing that you're like, okay, my pet is going to be underground for however many months.
00:24:11.915 --> 00:24:12.696
I hope he's okay.
00:24:12.737 --> 00:24:14.157
I hope it doesn't flood rain.
00:24:14.178 --> 00:24:15.400
I hope it doesn't freeze.
00:24:16.220 --> 00:24:30.840
So anyway, so Bob the tortoise goes outside to graze during the day and then he spends the rest of his time inside And when he hibernates, he hibernates in a cardboard box with a bunch of shredded newspaper in the coldest room in the house, which is the laundry room.
00:24:31.761 --> 00:24:38.314
So yeah, I mean, he spends a lot of his time, honestly, you'll see him sort of like walking by occasionally, like he'll move from area to area.
00:24:38.354 --> 00:24:46.106
But most of the time, he like sort of parks himself in a corner somewhere, like kind of in the equivalent of a burrow and is napping.
00:24:46.527 --> 00:24:46.907
What's his
00:24:46.948 --> 00:24:47.148
name?
00:24:47.528 --> 00:24:47.789
Bub.
00:24:48.226 --> 00:25:21.035
bub i do remember that was my experience with bub when i was at your house for that party and he's just kind of like at some point he just wanders in and was kind of like what's up and then kind of goes on his merry way so i was like all right it's so funny well now you know if you want a turtle or tortoise there's a lot of considerations all right well i know you said you had another high sadly probably un-turtle related but probably still pretty in My other one,
00:25:21.055 --> 00:25:24.679
I, so both of my grandmas had dementia.
00:25:24.699 --> 00:25:28.123
And I think I have something to say about the way we think about dementia.
00:25:28.163 --> 00:25:34.609
But going back, so both of my grandmas lived in senior care facilities, like they both ended up in memory care.
00:25:34.650 --> 00:25:38.093
They didn't have, you know, they couldn't live on their own.
00:25:38.133 --> 00:25:44.240
Their kids were still working right there, like, which wasn't really the resources, the people resources.
00:25:44.819 --> 00:25:48.144
I'm definitely a big advocate of like, if you can keep them home, you can keep them home.
00:25:48.144 --> 00:25:50.807
home without wanting to murder each other.
00:25:50.826 --> 00:25:52.067
I think that that's really nice.
00:25:52.288 --> 00:25:57.834
But not everybody has the emotional, financial, logistical resources to take care of their elders.
00:25:58.055 --> 00:26:02.839
So both of my grandmas were in memory care facilities, and they were actually both in really nice ones.
00:26:03.140 --> 00:26:10.708
We ended up being really lucky that both of my grandmas were pretty financially literate, and both of their husbands also were.
00:26:10.748 --> 00:26:12.430
And then their husbands died.
00:26:12.470 --> 00:26:15.373
And so they were collecting their husband's pensions.
00:26:15.532 --> 00:26:17.335
They both also had teacher pensions.
00:26:17.414 --> 00:26:20.924
And so they just They were in a good place financially, which is so, so fortunate.
00:26:21.686 --> 00:26:26.000
They were both at really nice places, but it is still really...
00:26:26.561 --> 00:26:34.788
those places are really challenging because they are, because capitalism, because they're understaffed, the people who are there are underpaid.
00:26:35.108 --> 00:26:46.298
And so my one grandma in particular was, the word that came to mind is difficult and difficult in the sense that a lot of the other old people were content sort of just sitting around and watching TV.
00:26:46.699 --> 00:26:48.861
She is not that, like she wanted to be on the go.
00:26:49.201 --> 00:26:52.163
She wasn't gonna sit down and be quiet, which we love that about her.
00:26:52.183 --> 00:27:30.780
And then my other grandma was at sort of a different stage was dealing with some health issues and like not really getting the one-on-one care that she needed she wasn't really eating and there wasn't a whole lot being done to get her to eat more right like there and it's this is not the fault of the people working there right like they all they're doing the best they can but anyway we hired for both of my grandmas sort of at different points we hired individual caregivers so when I say we are paying my grandmas were paying they didn't know it But we're paying for the facility, which is five million bajillion dollars.
00:27:30.840 --> 00:27:34.980
But then we also had a private caregiver for each of my grandma's on top of that.
00:27:35.329 --> 00:27:39.154
And both of those women were just so incredible.
00:27:39.234 --> 00:27:45.000
And the way that they interacted, people really struggle to deal with people with dementia.
00:27:45.040 --> 00:27:47.163
Like people really struggle in interacting with them.
00:27:47.203 --> 00:27:53.751
A lot of people don't know how to handle it, especially if you're somebody who knew the person before they got dementia.
00:27:54.452 --> 00:27:56.295
It's just really challenging to navigate.
00:27:56.434 --> 00:27:58.738
But both of them were so great.
00:27:59.137 --> 00:28:07.890
And the way that my grandmas just lit up for these women and the amount of like real care.
00:28:07.930 --> 00:28:16.801
I mean, they were especially my one grandma who we had people seven days a week for eight hours a day, every single day.
00:28:16.842 --> 00:28:17.623
They
00:28:17.663 --> 00:28:20.026
were like her closest companions.
00:28:20.086 --> 00:28:20.606
You know what I mean?
00:28:20.646 --> 00:28:21.188
Yeah.
00:28:21.709 --> 00:28:25.534
And I think it was really amazing to see them grow.
00:28:25.634 --> 00:28:54.398
interact with really like all of the elderly folks because there is a level of if they're being hired as a private caregiver they're probably making a little bit more than the people who are at the facility but like it is such a thankless job you know what I mean in terms of really any sort of caregiving for people or animals but I think animals feel a little bit different in the sense that I think there's the difficulties that come along with caregiving for animals are often human and system induced
00:28:54.959 --> 00:28:55.059
but
00:28:55.079 --> 00:29:34.515
you're still having positive interactions with the animals whereas like if you're caregiving for somebody with dementia there's positives don't get me wrong but you're not getting paid well you might depending on the old person might be getting yelled at or like verbally abused you know what I mean my grandma's thank goodness as far as I know we're both nice people so I think that might be my more serious touchy feely one but just caregivers in general it's really amazing and I think especially The way that the caregivers for people with dementia and Alzheimer's see the human and bring out the human in the people that they're caregiving for, I think is just so amazing.
00:29:34.555 --> 00:29:37.440
And I really learned a lot from them.
00:29:37.480 --> 00:29:42.147
One of the caregivers, she would say, she was like, well, you're so good with your grandmas.
00:29:42.208 --> 00:29:45.153
And I was like, well, I've watched people, you know what I mean?
00:29:45.212 --> 00:29:49.902
I've seen the way that people interact and the way that they go with the flow and just...
00:29:50.402 --> 00:29:52.003
to them, it's, you know, it's a job.
00:29:52.044 --> 00:29:55.188
It's also something that they obviously care about, otherwise, they wouldn't be doing it.
00:29:55.509 --> 00:29:56.609
We're still in contact.
00:29:56.690 --> 00:30:00.596
My grandma's died two years ago, and we're still in contact with both of the caregivers.
00:30:00.836 --> 00:30:01.376
Really?
00:30:01.416 --> 00:30:01.957
Yeah.
00:30:02.097 --> 00:30:02.298
That's
00:30:02.357 --> 00:30:02.878
amazing.
00:30:03.199 --> 00:30:05.622
Yeah, we told them, we're like, you're forever family.
00:30:05.662 --> 00:30:08.926
But also the value add for my grandma's.
00:30:09.307 --> 00:30:11.450
I mean, it was the difference between night and day.
00:30:11.529 --> 00:30:17.417
I mean, it really just, I think, changed their quality of life 100 times over.
00:30:17.458 --> 00:30:17.478
I
00:30:17.518 --> 00:30:21.267
mean, I think it takes a really special kind of Yeah.
00:30:21.886 --> 00:30:22.228
Yeah.
00:30:22.969 --> 00:30:27.493
Yeah.
00:30:43.874 --> 00:31:14.356
it better like kind of like we were talking about earlier so is there any specific instance that stands out in your mind of something you saw when they were interacting with your grandmas or was it just kind of I know you talked about kind of in the mundane sometimes it was just the fact that they were there and that they treated them kindly that's kind of a big deal in and of itself like you said especially when people are stressed or have their own stuff going on to have to deal with someone else's hard stuff can be Not always bring out the
00:31:14.396 --> 00:31:15.038
best in you.
00:31:15.200 --> 00:31:16.282
So totally.
00:31:16.323 --> 00:31:17.887
I'm thinking of two.
00:31:17.907 --> 00:31:29.659
The first one I think is my one grandma who like did not have a really good appetite and she was losing weight and like there was some medication that she needed to eat to be able to take the medication, but she wasn't eating.
00:31:29.679 --> 00:31:41.479
And again, like this, the facility was doing their best, but they didn't have the capacity to give her the one-on-one attention to be like, okay, I'm going to sit down with you and get you to eat.
00:31:41.859 --> 00:31:49.573
And so when we hired Yolanda, Yolanda started spending her own money and we had to, we were like, no, give us the receipts.
00:31:49.613 --> 00:31:56.630
We're tried getting these fruit smoothies from McDonald's.
00:31:56.670 --> 00:31:59.211
They're sort of like fruit smoothie milkshake things.
00:31:59.511 --> 00:32:08.299
And then she was getting these protein shakes from I think they're like Shamrock Farms has these super protein chocolate milks or like strawberry milks.
00:32:08.539 --> 00:32:11.823
So she tried all these different things and she was running the extra errand.
00:32:11.863 --> 00:32:19.950
She wasn't like charging that time to us spending her own money on these things to like figure out what my grandma was interested in.
00:32:19.970 --> 00:32:21.851
And she'd always bring her little treats.
00:32:21.911 --> 00:32:25.815
And she also always always brought treats for the other people in the wing too.
00:32:25.935 --> 00:32:32.221
Like if she brought my grandma something, not all the time, but you know, she brought cookies once in a while, she'd bring cookies for my grandma.
00:32:32.301 --> 00:32:45.355
And she also would make sure that she had them for the, in her little wing of the unit, there's maybe six or eight other elderly folks and she would give everybody the cookies or, and she would always bring stuff from the nurses too.
00:32:45.536 --> 00:32:47.317
Just so generous.
00:32:48.179 --> 00:32:50.361
And yeah, I mean, it made a huge difference.
00:32:50.421 --> 00:32:56.836
My grandma, was gaining some weight back and I think had a much better quality of life for the amount of life that she had left.
00:32:57.258 --> 00:32:59.565
The other one I think is for my other grandma.
00:32:59.585 --> 00:33:04.076
Like I said, I was pretty comfortable around my grandma.
00:33:04.577 --> 00:33:10.387
And my dad, it was definitely harder for my dad, but he sort of outwardly did okay.
00:33:10.847 --> 00:33:13.291
My brother wasn't always sure, but he did a pretty good job.
00:33:13.333 --> 00:33:14.493
My aunt did a great job.
00:33:14.535 --> 00:33:16.617
But in general, it's hard, right?
00:33:16.678 --> 00:33:20.324
And different family members, when they would come by, would have sort of different challenges.
00:33:20.684 --> 00:33:20.964
Yeah.
00:33:21.226 --> 00:33:28.257
You could tell that when we came to visit, whether it was just me and my dad or at one point we had all...
00:33:28.961 --> 00:33:40.222
five cousins and my dad and my aunt come, the caregiver would try her best to help facilitate that interaction in a way that was positive for us.
00:33:40.603 --> 00:33:47.075
Which, I mean, obviously you could say like, well, we're her employers, technically the family, because we're like managing the money.
00:33:47.155 --> 00:33:48.096
But I think...
00:33:48.577 --> 00:34:00.415
Recognizing some of the discomfort in people and trying to make visits a more positive interaction, I think was really above and beyond her job description.
00:34:00.455 --> 00:34:03.180
And it was something that seemed to come really naturally to her.
00:34:03.200 --> 00:34:04.982
It was just really impressive.
00:34:05.542 --> 00:34:13.315
Yeah, that just reminds me of how all the things that take so much skill seem to be things we undervalue so much in society.
00:34:13.394 --> 00:34:17.742
Like as someone who has a mom who's a caregiver to my sister, they're just such...
00:34:18.081 --> 00:34:22.005
Thankless jobs, people just kind of are like, oh, this is expected.
00:34:22.346 --> 00:34:26.271
And I think that's another thing this podcast sometimes inadvertently does.
00:34:26.291 --> 00:34:30.414
It draws the attention of all these different lived experiences.
00:34:30.655 --> 00:34:42.447
Learning from other people's experiences is important because I shouldn't have to have a grandma with dementia who needs caregiving to hear your story and be like, oh, wow, yeah, she deserves the best care.
00:34:42.608 --> 00:34:43.909
And I'm so glad she got it.
00:34:44.250 --> 00:34:46.510
But I think that's a really cool high.
00:34:46.690 --> 00:34:48.172
We haven't had a caregiving one yet.
00:34:48.253 --> 00:34:49.916
So that's so
00:34:49.996 --> 00:35:02.784
right to that, like the people who are doing the most for other people or for animals, any sort of social or environmental good, or any sort of caregiving is so underpaid.
00:35:03.329 --> 00:35:05.291
and undervalued in our society
00:35:05.311 --> 00:35:05.492
yes
00:35:05.992 --> 00:35:33.675
i mean the other thing is just like customer service jobs and how you work if you're a barista that's not considered to be a valuable career valuable job but it's something that potentially is a source of constant positive interaction for somebody who doesn't have that outside of their lives you know like there's just so many ways that we undervalue these roles that are really doing some of the most important stuff like i Right.
00:35:33.715 --> 00:35:54.358
I do think that our...
00:36:03.248 --> 00:36:06.938
issue with getting old is all tied back to ableism.
00:36:07.425 --> 00:36:08.146
Because
00:36:08.387 --> 00:36:13.630
I mean, there's some level of obviously beauty standard BS, but it really is tied back to this.
00:36:13.911 --> 00:36:26.282
We are so uncomfortable with any sort of disability and like any sort of reliance on anybody but ourselves and having any lack of control over our bodies.
00:36:26.842 --> 00:36:34.829
And so really, I think that like the type of justice that we need for elderly people, disabled people is it's ultimately disability justice.
00:36:35.050 --> 00:36:43.416
Like it's the same as fighting for people's who have chronic illness or developmental disabilities or life-changing injuries, whatever it is.
00:36:43.577 --> 00:36:46.300
It all feels really tied together.
00:36:46.340 --> 00:36:52.346
Yeah, well, in the United States alone, 25% of people supposedly have a disability.
00:36:52.865 --> 00:37:02.894
I think we'd all be a lot better off if we found ways to be accepting of things that we haven't found a way to change yet and just let things be.
00:37:02.914 --> 00:37:07.182
I think if we did, then everyone could just get on with their lives.
00:37:07.262 --> 00:37:11.527
And like, we could all recognize, oh, this person has this condition, we should help them.
00:37:11.887 --> 00:37:17.012
We're so into being uncompassionate and not seeing people as people right now.
00:37:17.032 --> 00:37:19.034
And I'm like, this just isn't it for me.
00:37:19.215 --> 00:37:19.755
I'm in the wrong
00:37:19.795 --> 00:37:20.396
timeline.
00:37:20.416 --> 00:37:31.367
Yeah, I'm like, we I mean, the other thing is, I think you and I both have the experience being intimate with somebody not not necessarily like a romantic or sexual way, but like in an emotionally intimate way with
00:37:31.987 --> 00:37:32.106
people
00:37:32.126 --> 00:37:45.650
who have disabilities and who are dealing with various Mm-hmm.
00:37:51.425 --> 00:37:54.329
you know, I would get an abortion because, oh my God, like what a sad existence.
00:37:54.728 --> 00:37:56.911
No, like it's not.
00:37:57.251 --> 00:38:00.253
It's the same type of existence as any other human being.
00:38:00.293 --> 00:38:07.320
And I feel like dementia was the same way where it's like, I found so much value in spending time with my grandmas even after they got dementia.
00:38:07.360 --> 00:38:18.349
And I think that you have to go into it with a sense of the things that I value, you know, or the things that society values might not align with the values that they're bringing to the table.
00:38:18.750 --> 00:38:24.775
Like for my grandmas, people are like, oh, well, they don't recognize or their stories aren't true.
00:38:24.795 --> 00:38:27.838
And it's like, okay, then you're meeting your grandma again.
00:38:27.858 --> 00:38:29.260
That's so cool.
00:38:29.460 --> 00:38:33.284
Getting to meet your grandma as a stranger, they think they don't know you.
00:38:33.324 --> 00:38:36.367
That's a super cool, insightful experience.
00:38:36.507 --> 00:38:39.871
Or like, when they're telling stories, the meaning is still there.
00:38:39.891 --> 00:38:47.960
Maybe the dates are mixed up, or they said that their dad was at their grandkids high school graduation, the timelines are mixed up, whatever.
00:38:48.059 --> 00:38:51.344
But the value of those stories still exists.
00:38:51.344 --> 00:38:54.168
whether or not they're like accurate, I guess.
00:38:54.289 --> 00:39:08.152
And so I just think that's so much of like disability and just shared humanity is realizing that the things that you value in your own life are not the be all end all of what personhood is, I guess.
00:39:08.452 --> 00:39:08.773
Yeah.
00:39:09.335 --> 00:39:20.847
And I feel like if you make it far enough in life and you still Haven't gotten to experience things outside of your comfort zone or people whose lives differ so much from yours.
00:39:20.867 --> 00:39:28.086
I feel like it's just to your detriment because you lack an understanding, kind of like you said, how we know from experience.
00:39:28.186 --> 00:39:30.333
And it's just, yeah, there's a lot.
00:39:30.786 --> 00:39:33.568
of ways to get those experiences too.
00:39:33.708 --> 00:39:36.490
You can volunteer, you can widen your social net.
00:39:36.530 --> 00:39:38.592
Lots of people have family members.
00:39:38.672 --> 00:39:42.275
And you know, my sister does have Down syndrome, as a matter of fact.
00:39:42.335 --> 00:39:47.701
And so it's like, I'm used to the stares we've gotten in public and things.
00:39:47.920 --> 00:39:50.583
You have a wide variety of reactions that you get.
00:39:50.643 --> 00:39:52.264
Sometimes you get weird looks.
00:39:52.744 --> 00:39:54.246
Sometimes you get intrigued looks.
00:39:54.487 --> 00:40:01.132
Sometimes you get people coming up to you in restaurants and just letting you know how angelic and special that person is.
00:40:01.152 --> 00:40:07.349
And really, the best reaction I think is just one of if you have questions to ask, I think that's fine.
00:40:07.789 --> 00:40:09.894
I don't think my mom's ever been upset by that.
00:40:09.976 --> 00:40:39.250
But it is weird when you have either that initial gut reaction of Oh, this person is different and kind of weird and scary or oh this person is an angel in human form I'm like now this is just my sister she's a weirdo to really know someone I think is a privilege and kind of like you're saying whether they have dementia or disability or their life is one you don't understand they say it's hard to hate people up close I think it would be great if we had more of that that's the thing I keep coming back to hey what if
00:40:39.771 --> 00:41:24.438
well and I think like it all comes back to I mean you know we talked it like we're talking about getting to know somebody and the privilege of getting to know somebody and what we learn from getting to know people sort of intimately but there's also the privilege of just experiencing being a human with somebody else which sometimes that literally could just mean exchanging pleasantries instead of not acknowledging each other when you're walking by like there's just so many little acts of acknowledging each other's humanism human humanity humanity thank you there's like so many ways to do that and I think that In that, I mean, when I was a barista, when I was a cashier, there were so many different experiences of the world that I learned about just from having these brief interactions.
00:41:24.458 --> 00:41:25.621
Like I worked at Safeway, right?
00:41:26.603 --> 00:41:32.052
We had wealthy people, we had homeless people, we had give me the gambit of people.
00:41:32.152 --> 00:41:33.175
I was just gonna say the word
00:41:33.255 --> 00:41:33.655
gambit.
00:41:33.775 --> 00:41:34.016
Yay.
00:41:34.677 --> 00:41:35.038
Yeah.
00:41:35.739 --> 00:41:40.568
And you get these little almost like snapshots into all these different people's lives.
00:41:40.748 --> 00:41:44.871
You know, I really think that for me, it gave me just shared humanity.
00:41:45.032 --> 00:41:52.559
And the more differences that I learn about, and the more stories I hear about those lives, the more similarities I end up finding.
00:41:52.579 --> 00:41:53.340
And I
00:41:53.420 --> 00:42:00.306
think that's really important going back to these divided times when people just see the world so completely differently.
00:42:00.365 --> 00:42:12.516
But I think recognizing the humanity, as you said, in people, it can kind of strip away some of that stuff that we We just use to build up walls or mountains between us and others.
00:42:12.938 --> 00:42:16.641
Let's stop othering each other, I guess, would be a great first step.
00:42:16.981 --> 00:42:28.795
Yeah, I think the reason that social media companies are so profitable is because they figured out that people are going to react more to things that are divisive.
00:42:28.835 --> 00:42:32.157
They're going to react more to things that are fear inducing, right?
00:42:32.237 --> 00:42:32.958
And I think that...
00:42:33.340 --> 00:42:33.739
Guilty.
00:42:33.760 --> 00:42:35.342
No, same.
00:42:35.402 --> 00:42:37.204
And it's like, I think it's...
00:42:37.423 --> 00:42:43.152
sort of this encouraging, this very black and white us and them.
00:42:43.193 --> 00:43:04.826
And I think that our archetype of a person, of whatever type of person that your particularly social media or your political party or whatever says about somebody who is on an opposing side, I think when you actually meet somebody, it's a lot more complicated than that a lot of the times.
00:43:04.865 --> 00:43:07.664
I That's not making excuses for bigotry.
00:43:07.704 --> 00:43:10.688
That's not making excuses for putting hate into the world.
00:43:10.748 --> 00:43:19.077
But I think that there is a level of a lot of us live in a society and a system that we don't have a lot of safety mechanisms
00:43:19.559 --> 00:43:19.739
and
00:43:20.239 --> 00:43:24.764
that we just have a lot of anxiety and a lot of uncertainty.
00:43:25.445 --> 00:43:32.034
And I think a majority of people are acting out of fear or insecurity or whatever it is.
00:43:32.514 --> 00:43:34.324
And again, that's not an excuse, right?
00:43:35.068 --> 00:43:49.456
I've learned so much from just following pages of people whose life experiences I don't understand right there's this YouTube series it's like born different or like love don't judge it's like these little they're kind of like I've seen love
00:43:49.496 --> 00:43:49.737
don't
00:43:49.817 --> 00:44:07.773
judge but it's like consuming content like that it's not an excuse I'm not making excuses for these people for their bigotry but I do think that understanding where that's coming from for a lot of people or how that was built even if it's saying this person I need to write out of my life.
00:44:07.972 --> 00:44:08.994
This person is not welcome.
00:44:09.014 --> 00:44:11.456
This person is not a safe person.
00:44:11.697 --> 00:44:31.467
All of that is very valid, but understanding maybe where that came from, even if it's not going to help that person in the way that we would like to see them evolve, it can help us for other people who maybe are earlier on in trying to process those anxieties, those same anxieties or those same fears.
00:44:31.788 --> 00:44:35.956
Yeah, I think it can really help guide conversations because that's the part I struggle with most.
00:44:36.036 --> 00:45:23.563
I've asked other people who share my viewpoints politically or spiritually or whatever the case is, because I'm like, help, I have trouble with my presentation of my views and it's hard for me not to be a hothead and go from zero to a thousand wouldn't it be cool though if we figured it out like just talking right now on this podcast and we just like we figured out the solution we're like this is it and we like just wrapped it up and presented it in a nice neat bundle and like okay this is how we're gonna fix this whole situation of misunderstandings and issues with the world but I do think at least talking about it it's a start it makes us think it makes other people think and if it leads somebody to being more open or more considerate, that's a win.
00:45:23.583 --> 00:45:28.268
Well, I appreciate your points of views, your POV as it were.
00:45:28.289 --> 00:45:37.438
And now that we have just about thoroughly covered maybe all of the topics that we've briefly touched on everything.
00:45:39.340 --> 00:45:42.523
I would love to hear about your because it's your cause.
00:45:43.103 --> 00:45:49.577
Yeah, so I learned about this organization at the time they were called Southwest HIV Center, I think.
00:45:50.119 --> 00:45:53.971
And they actually came into Brick Road, which is a queer...
00:45:53.990 --> 00:45:54.913
It is really...
00:45:55.393 --> 00:46:07.423
It's queer coffee.
00:46:25.360 --> 00:46:27.302
And they were super, super nice.
00:46:27.681 --> 00:46:29.483
And they were like, Oh, do you want to get tested?
00:46:29.523 --> 00:46:32.387
And I was like, I'm not while I'm at work.
00:46:32.927 --> 00:46:33.409
But
00:46:35.130 --> 00:46:35.251
my
00:46:35.311 --> 00:46:38.373
finger for blood while I'm making this latte.
00:46:41.097 --> 00:46:45.181
Not ideal, but I ended up making the people were just so nice.
00:46:45.240 --> 00:46:49.224
And so I ended up making an appointment to just do routine testing at their clinic.
00:46:50.387 --> 00:46:52.208
And ended up learning a lot more about them.
00:46:52.248 --> 00:46:56.032
They are a queer sort of focus clinic.
00:46:56.092 --> 00:47:00.056
And then they started off, like I said, with sort of HIV AIDS stuff, but they do so much more.
00:47:00.117 --> 00:47:01.177
They do mental health care.
00:47:01.197 --> 00:47:10.668
Now they've just started doing primary care, which is really amazing for queer folks, especially medical care generally can be challenging to navigate.
00:47:11.268 --> 00:47:14.472
And they also do gender affirming care, which is really huge right now.
00:47:14.512 --> 00:47:31.590
And when there was all of this stuff going around about the administration pulling funding for clinics or places that have gender affirming care, they got it together pretty There was a period of time where they were like, we're pausing just to figure out what we can do.
00:47:31.710 --> 00:47:34.233
Like, we're pausing it to make sure we can still provide all these services.
00:47:34.534 --> 00:47:36.356
But they figured out a way around it really fast.
00:47:36.735 --> 00:47:37.396
And I just think that,
00:47:37.597 --> 00:47:38.257
yeah, they did.
00:47:38.277 --> 00:47:38.318
No,
00:47:38.338 --> 00:47:39.418
truly.
00:47:39.458 --> 00:47:44.043
And so I think that was who I donated my tax credit to this year.
00:47:44.083 --> 00:47:49.570
Being a trans person, especially right now is really scary.
00:47:49.610 --> 00:48:05.766
And so having a clinic that they can get mental health care and regular physical medical care and get gender affirming care and get sexual wellness and anybody can access those services, I think is really just like so critical right now.
00:48:06.168 --> 00:48:11.653
And all of the healthcare providers are like most of the healthcare providers are also queer of some sort.
00:48:11.934 --> 00:48:18.621
So yeah, and they serve I think I was looking at their website, they serve like 80% of their clients are ever below the poverty line.
00:48:18.661 --> 00:48:20.643
Like they're just a really great organization.
00:48:21.324 --> 00:49:14.875
See, it's organizations like these that make me just really happy to learn about because first of all i feel like it's good to have these in your back pocket right we all know someone who's queer here are queer they're queer like there's so there's so many of you know it's just it's part of the human race and they deserve like that's the bare minimum it's like having appropriate care for your body and your needs like that should just be a big dot i think everyone should be spreading the good word about places that are doing good work so prisma community care and their website is prismacare.org so that's pretty easy to remember and I'll put that included in the show notes so that anyone who wants to donate or get involved or right from their website they make it really easy to like request an appointment or get care or get informed, get information.
00:49:15.036 --> 00:49:32.490
And if you live in Arizona, if you're an Arizona taxpayer, they also are a qualifying charitable tax credit organization, which there are not very many queer serving organizations that are currently on that list, because of obviously, like the data that you have to collect to be to qualify for that.
00:49:32.570 --> 00:49:34.632
So keep that in mind for taxes for next year.
00:49:35.072 --> 00:49:48.726
If you're an Arizona resident, apparently, the AZ tax credit is unique to Arizona, it essentially means like, you can donate right now, it's up to And like 938 for joint filers and 470 for single filers.
00:49:49.286 --> 00:49:54.751
And you can donate that amount to like an organization like Prisma Community Care.
00:49:55.172 --> 00:49:57.956
And then you get it back when you file your taxes, essentially.
00:49:57.996 --> 00:50:00.038
So it's like a rebate, which is pretty cool.
00:50:00.818 --> 00:50:11.530
Yeah, it's like if you owe$500 of your taxes, instead of that tax money going towards whatever, you're basically rerouting that tax money to an organization that you care about.
00:50:11.851 --> 00:50:12.731
Also schools.
00:50:13.072 --> 00:50:15.994
So donate to your public schools because they really need it right now.
00:50:16.436 --> 00:50:17.056
Seriously.
00:50:17.577 --> 00:50:17.757
Yeah.
00:50:17.836 --> 00:50:21.161
And they have a separate one, like a tax credit for the schools as well.
00:50:21.240 --> 00:50:23.342
So, so many ways to give.
00:50:23.682 --> 00:50:25.485
Well, thank you for sharing that.
00:50:25.806 --> 00:50:32.273
We've arrived at the point where I asked the question that I know can be a little trippy for some people or some people just have it at the ready.
00:50:32.353 --> 00:50:34.554
So feel free to take a second if you need it.
00:50:34.614 --> 00:50:39.880
But I always ask people what they would like their final thought to be as we wrap up.
00:50:40.440 --> 00:50:41.623
Oh, I had so many thoughts.
00:50:41.663 --> 00:50:41.902
Yeah.
00:50:42.083 --> 00:50:43.023
You know that I'm...
00:50:43.023 --> 00:51:18.382
which one do i pick you know honestly i think next time you are in any sort of if you're picking up coffee if you're at a restaurant if you are at the grocery store when you have the social battery just genuinely ask somebody how their day is or like show genuine interest in somebody's life my favorite question you know i loved asking like what are you doing today or like you know what do you have planned for the weekend and i think you you are going to make that person's day a lot of times but like yeah ask somebody like what they're doing this weekend
00:51:18.782 --> 00:51:34.898
it's great to see people who are beacons of that i know you were like that a lot too in the office even though you were inhumanely busy somehow you always managed to make make those human connections and i think that's why everyone likes being around you so much so i just like people it's
00:51:35.099 --> 00:51:39.344
easy for me to say because i genuinely just think people are interesting and usually cool
00:51:39.664 --> 00:51:43.728
all creatures great and small casey loves them all.
00:51:46.371 --> 00:51:50.014
Well, I really appreciate you being on this podcast.
00:51:50.153 --> 00:51:52.275
It definitely was a lively one.
00:51:52.295 --> 00:52:01.463
So it's, it's always nice to get back in the saddle and get just like a nice excuse to talk to interesting people who I like.
00:52:01.523 --> 00:52:03.505
So how cool is that?
00:52:03.606 --> 00:52:04.547
How cool is that?
00:52:04.567 --> 00:52:09.710
It's so rare, I think to just be like, I'm gonna sit down and talk to my friend for an hour.
00:52:09.731 --> 00:52:09.811
Like,
00:52:10.371 --> 00:52:12.152
I know, I do know you're busy.
00:52:12.253 --> 00:52:14.885
So I can't let you go, sadly.
00:52:14.925 --> 00:52:15.166
I'm
00:52:15.347 --> 00:52:16.369
mostly hungry.
00:52:16.409 --> 00:52:18.534
Otherwise, I was thinking about food
00:52:18.554 --> 00:52:18.976
too.
00:52:18.996 --> 00:52:23.226
I know I was like Taco Bell after this podcast.
00:52:23.246 --> 00:52:24.188
I don't feel like cooking.
00:52:24.630 --> 00:52:25.893
Well, thanks again.
00:52:25.913 --> 00:52:27.657
Yeah, thank you for having me.
00:52:27.737 --> 00:52:30.003
It was fun to talk and we'll talk again soon.
00:52:30.463 --> 00:52:31.326
Yeah.
00:52:31.873 --> 00:52:33.155
Thanks for getting high with us.
00:52:33.494 --> 00:52:35.137
Your support means everything.
00:52:35.876 --> 00:53:00.958
Speaking of...
00:53:01.840 --> 00:53:11.150
Thanks again for listening, and remember to be well, do
00:53:11.190 --> 00:53:11.969
good.
