WEBVTT
00:00:00.080 --> 00:00:01.120
My healing journey.
00:00:01.280 --> 00:00:14.800
I'm your host, Amanda Armstrong, and I'll be sharing my steps, my missteps, client experiences, and tangible research-based tools to help you regulate your nervous system, rewire your mind, and reclaim your life.
00:00:15.039 --> 00:00:16.079
Thanks for being here.
00:00:16.160 --> 00:00:17.519
Now let's dive in.
00:00:18.640 --> 00:00:27.679
Quick note before we get into today's episode, this is part of my Back to the Basics series, which I am rerunning on the podcast right now.
00:00:27.920 --> 00:00:35.840
It originally aired in February 2025, and it is still the series that I hear back about the most.
00:00:36.079 --> 00:00:42.560
How it helped people finally make sense and see their anxiety and depression in a new helpful way.
00:00:42.799 --> 00:00:49.679
And since there's been a wave of new listeners joining lately, I wanted to bring this series back around.
00:00:49.840 --> 00:01:03.280
And for those of you who happen to be here the first time, I invite you to listen again through this series through the lens of where you are right now, because that's likely shifted over the last year and a half.
00:01:03.520 --> 00:01:07.680
And just curiously see what might land differently.
00:01:07.920 --> 00:01:11.040
And throughout the series, there's one quick correction.
00:01:11.280 --> 00:01:15.200
In the episodes, I may mention Rise, my membership.
00:01:15.439 --> 00:01:21.200
Well, in the last year and a half, RISE got a glow up and is now my regulated living membership.
00:01:21.280 --> 00:01:24.400
So same container, same work, just new name, new brand.
00:01:24.560 --> 00:01:25.840
All right, let's jump in.
00:01:26.159 --> 00:01:31.200
Welcome to the final episode, part nine of my Back to the Basics series.
00:01:31.439 --> 00:01:47.439
Over the past eight episodes, we have explored how the nervous system plays a central role in anxiety and depression, the importance of regulation skills, the stress bucket concept, and even touched on blood work and the truth about the chemical imbalance theory.
00:01:47.680 --> 00:01:57.519
We together have taken a deep dive into understanding anxiety and depression through a neuroscience and whole human lens.
00:01:57.680 --> 00:02:13.919
And for today's conversation, I want to help bring all of these pieces together and want this episode to serve both as a review as well as a roadmap for how you might want to bring elements of my approach into your own healing journey.
00:02:14.319 --> 00:02:22.639
I'm going to start by revisiting each of the past eight episodes with just a little reminder of some of the core elements that we covered.
00:02:22.800 --> 00:02:24.080
So we started this series.
00:02:24.319 --> 00:02:37.360
Part one was all about getting to know your nervous system, the nervous system basics, understanding that your nervous system is constantly scanning for safety and danger cues in those three places.
00:02:37.520 --> 00:02:39.759
Remember outside, inside, and in between.
00:02:40.080 --> 00:02:55.919
And it is shifting your physiological state, which impacts your psychological state, based on what it perceives and how it is interpreting what it perceives based on your past lived experiences and current life circumstances.
00:02:56.159 --> 00:03:06.080
Then in part two, we unpacked the six different nervous system states, our three primary states, the green zone of regulation, yellow zone of activation, and red zone of shutdown.
00:03:06.400 --> 00:03:23.120
And then the three mixed states of play, stillness, and freeze, and talked about how each of these states has a unique profile of sensations, emotions, thoughts, and behaviors, and how you, we talked in this episode about the nervous system.
00:03:23.280 --> 00:03:37.199
And I offered an invitation for you to become more familiar with your nervous system, how you know that you are in one of those states, how you can answer where am I on that nervous system ladder in any given moment.
00:03:37.599 --> 00:03:41.520
Then in part three, we talked about why we get stuck.
00:03:41.759 --> 00:03:46.080
We examined how our nervous systems get stuck in dysregulation.
00:03:46.319 --> 00:03:56.560
And typically, it is either because or because of a combination of number one, that we are living in a biologically unsupportive way.
00:03:56.719 --> 00:03:59.680
This is where I shared with you that plant analogy, right?
00:03:59.840 --> 00:04:05.919
When I have a plant in a dark corner that's not getting enough water, I don't look at that plant and be like, oh yeah, disordered plant.
00:04:06.159 --> 00:04:11.120
No, it's not getting the basic things that it needs for the health of its biological system to thrive.
00:04:11.280 --> 00:04:12.800
So of course it's getting symptoms.
00:04:12.960 --> 00:04:13.919
Of course it is suffering.
00:04:14.240 --> 00:04:17.600
And we should expect the same from our biological systems as well.
00:04:17.920 --> 00:04:39.040
The other reason that we often get stuck in states of dysregulation is because of our past lived experiences, because we are living in a chronically stressed-out state that is causing us to misinterpret situations, that is causing our lives to feel less safe than they might actually be.
00:04:39.279 --> 00:04:42.240
In part four, we talked about the stress bucket.
00:04:42.319 --> 00:04:47.360
So this is an analogy that is a core tenet of our practice and the work that we do with clients.
00:04:47.519 --> 00:04:56.399
This is where we help our clients understand and explore their unique stress load, both their baseline and daily stressors.
00:04:56.480 --> 00:05:00.240
Those are the two categories of stressors I talked about in that episode.
00:05:00.560 --> 00:05:04.240
And understanding that we all have a limited carrying capacity.
00:05:04.639 --> 00:05:07.439
So many of us are sitting here, like, I don't know why I'm struggling.
00:05:07.600 --> 00:05:12.639
And then we sit down and do a stress bucket assessment with them, and they're like, oh yeah, that bucket's really heavy.
00:05:12.720 --> 00:05:15.600
That bucket's been overflowing for years now.
00:05:15.920 --> 00:05:23.519
And it is that overflow, that heaviness that pushes us further and further down that nervous system ladder into states of activation or shutdown.
00:05:23.680 --> 00:05:31.120
It's that overflow, it's that heaviness that creates our symptoms when we have exceeded our capacity to carry.
00:05:31.360 --> 00:05:36.319
Then we moved into talking about reactive regulation.
00:05:36.560 --> 00:05:47.199
And we spent two episodes here talking about these in-the-moment tools that help us to resource ourselves or shift our state when we notice that dysregulation is happening.
00:05:47.439 --> 00:05:50.480
When I can say, oh, I'm in the yellow zone.
00:05:50.560 --> 00:05:52.480
I'm feeling really activated or I'm shut down.
00:05:52.720 --> 00:05:57.680
These are the tools that instead of spiraling out around, oh, I'm so anxious right now and I don't know what to do.
00:05:57.839 --> 00:05:58.959
This is your toolkit.
00:05:59.120 --> 00:05:59.920
I'm so anxious.
00:06:00.000 --> 00:06:01.120
I'm so activated right now.
00:06:01.279 --> 00:06:05.120
And here are some things that I can try to support myself right now.
00:06:05.360 --> 00:06:08.160
Then we moved on to proactive regulation.
00:06:08.319 --> 00:06:13.839
So for reactive regulation is the in-the-moment tools when you're already dysregulated.
00:06:14.160 --> 00:06:23.360
Proactive regulation are the various things that you do so that you find yourself in states of dysregulation less often.
00:06:23.920 --> 00:06:45.519
This is the long-term strategic approach to creating a more regulated life, to addressing the root cause, to looking at your stress bucket consistently over and over and over again, and saying, okay, what feels meaningful and accessible for me to change right now?
00:06:45.759 --> 00:06:46.240
Awesome.
00:06:46.399 --> 00:06:48.160
I'm gonna go do that work for a little while.
00:06:48.240 --> 00:06:52.000
And either I'm gonna make traction and I'm gonna see improvement, or I'm not.
00:06:52.560 --> 00:06:54.800
And I'm gonna be frustrated, but oh man, no big deal.
00:06:54.879 --> 00:06:56.399
I can come back to my stress bucket.
00:06:56.560 --> 00:06:59.920
And I can say, maybe that wasn't the place to start, or it was.
00:07:00.240 --> 00:07:06.800
Where else is going to be accessible and make meaningful change in my healing journey?
00:07:06.959 --> 00:07:12.319
So it's proactive regulation, how we can engage in more regulated living.
00:07:12.560 --> 00:07:29.839
Then in part eight, we talked about the role of blood work and touched on the chemical imbalance theory and how understanding the role of your underlying physiology and the ways that it can create or contribute to your symptoms or symptom intensity.
00:07:30.000 --> 00:07:30.720
It's important.
00:07:30.879 --> 00:07:56.639
It's important because there's no amount of talk therapy or meds that is going to heal symptoms of anxiety or depression that are caused by micronutrient deficiencies or hormone imbalances, a variety of different measurable factors that can, when addressed strategically and personally for you, bring a lot more stability to your system.
00:07:57.120 --> 00:08:06.240
And the reason that I structured this series in this way, in this order, is because each of these episodes, these concepts build upon each other.
00:08:06.560 --> 00:08:17.519
You cannot effectively use reactive regulation tools if you do not understand your different nervous system states because there's different tools that work a little better for different states than others.
00:08:17.680 --> 00:08:20.160
So you need to be able to answer the question: what state am I in?
00:08:20.240 --> 00:08:22.000
Where am I on that nervous system ladder?
00:08:22.160 --> 00:08:25.120
And then what tools best support me when I find myself here?
00:08:25.360 --> 00:08:32.879
And you can't create a sustainable proactive approach if you don't know what is in your stress bucket.
00:08:33.039 --> 00:08:40.159
Optimizing lab results will only get you so far if the rest of your life is dysfunctional, is dysregulating.
00:08:40.399 --> 00:08:48.399
And none of this works if you don't have a compassionate understanding that your symptoms make sense.
00:08:48.720 --> 00:08:53.679
Your symptoms make sense given your unique circumstances.
00:08:54.159 --> 00:08:58.559
And this integrated approach is what makes healing possible.
00:08:58.799 --> 00:09:07.360
Not just temporary management of symptoms, but truly addressing the underlying root causes of anxiety and depression.
00:09:07.600 --> 00:09:18.720
And one of the most important takeaways from this series, in my opinion, is that healing requires us to consider both our physiology and our psychology.
00:09:18.960 --> 00:09:26.159
Like I've said before, we take a physiology first, but not a physiology-only approach to healing.
00:09:26.399 --> 00:09:31.600
Think of it this way: your body and mind are constantly communicating.
00:09:31.759 --> 00:09:36.879
And 80% of this mind-body conversation originates in the body from the nervous system.
00:09:37.120 --> 00:09:46.960
So if your body is depleted, if you are dealing with nutrient deficiencies, hormonal imbalances, chronic inflammation, chronic stress, you are always go, go, go, go on.
00:09:47.039 --> 00:09:50.799
And you are flooding your system with a cocktail of adrenaline and cortisol.
00:09:50.960 --> 00:09:59.679
If you're sleep deprived or overly sedentary, all of these things directly impact your brain function and your nervous system states.
00:10:00.399 --> 00:10:08.559
When enough of these basic biological needs go unmet, anxiety and depression are not disorders.
00:10:08.720 --> 00:10:15.440
They are natural physiological responses to unnatural conditions.
00:10:15.759 --> 00:10:21.039
And we cannot simply mindset our way out of a nervous system that is stuck in survival mode.
00:10:21.440 --> 00:10:26.000
And at the same time, psychological factors are also very important.
00:10:27.039 --> 00:10:38.000
Looking at things like past trauma, unhealthy relationships, a lack of belonging or sense of purpose, a lack of play or creativity in your life.
00:10:38.320 --> 00:10:47.360
These also are all things that load up your stress bucket, that contribute to dysregulation and keep us stuck in states of survival.
00:10:47.600 --> 00:10:50.879
For example, let's say that somebody is experiencing anxiety.
00:10:51.039 --> 00:11:05.919
Let's say you're experiencing anxiety and comprehensive blood work reveals a vitamin D deficiency or a thyroid imbalance, which are maybe at the root or just contributing to the symptoms of anxiety.
00:11:06.159 --> 00:11:18.879
But let's say you're also working a high stress job andor carrying around some unresolved trauma, that's also keeping your nervous system stuck in a high alert state.
00:11:19.200 --> 00:11:26.320
In this case, addressing only the physiological factors won't lead to complete healing.
00:11:26.559 --> 00:11:32.159
But that is likely where this person could benefit the most from starting.
00:11:32.480 --> 00:11:44.159
Because when you are trying to make big changes in your life, maybe changing a job or setting boundaries at your job, when you are trying to turn back towards unresolved trauma, that's deep work, that's hard work.
00:11:44.240 --> 00:11:48.320
It is naturally a little destabilizing for our internal system.
00:11:48.720 --> 00:12:01.360
Well, if we can remedy that vitamin D deficiency, if we can get on a protocol that helps to balance our thyroid, that's automatically going to take some load out of our stress bucket.
00:12:01.440 --> 00:12:16.559
It's going to stabilize and create capacity to take on some of this deeper work, the psychological work, the beliefs around your job and setting boundaries and self-worth, looking at the parts of your past that were really overwhelming.
00:12:16.879 --> 00:12:19.679
This is why our approach is so comprehensive.
00:12:20.000 --> 00:12:28.720
It is so important that we consider whole person, whole life, mind, body, circumstances, past, present.
00:12:29.200 --> 00:12:31.360
And to create a personalized path forward.
00:12:31.519 --> 00:12:33.360
Mental health looks different for everyone.
00:12:33.919 --> 00:12:39.360
What contributes to the activation or the shutdown of your system looks different than anybody else's.
00:12:39.679 --> 00:12:45.279
And so your path forward, the path to healing, is going to look unique as well.
00:12:45.679 --> 00:12:57.360
And at the heart of everything we've discussed is this really simple but powerful equation, which is that the current state of your nervous system, your anxiety, your depression, your activation, your shutdown, the current state of your nervous system makes sense.
00:12:57.519 --> 00:13:02.240
It equals your past lived experiences and your current life circumstances.
00:13:03.200 --> 00:13:10.399
And this equation reminds us that everything you experience makes sense when we consider both your history and your present reality.
00:13:10.720 --> 00:13:21.759
When you consider the things you've been through, this might be the things that happened to you or the things that you didn't get enough of that you needed to feel safe, seen, supported.
00:13:21.919 --> 00:13:26.320
And that resulted in various protective patterns.
00:13:26.559 --> 00:13:28.240
And then we look at your current reality.
00:13:28.399 --> 00:13:31.679
This includes your habits, environments, relationships, health.
00:13:31.919 --> 00:13:39.840
And part of that also includes acknowledging, or at least bringing being aware of your genetics or your accounts for biodiversity.
00:13:40.080 --> 00:13:43.759
But those factors alone are never the full picture.
00:13:44.000 --> 00:13:46.080
Your anxiety or depression is not random.
00:13:46.159 --> 00:13:54.399
It's not a character flaw, and it is not something that you should just get over or accept as an unchanging element for the rest of your life.
00:13:54.720 --> 00:14:01.120
Most often, they are normal responses to abnormal circumstances.
00:14:01.360 --> 00:14:24.879
And when we truly embrace this understanding, and what I see every day in our client work with folks, what I hear almost every day, in some capacity from those of you listening to this podcast, is that understanding your symptoms through this way helps you to shift from self-blame to self-compassion, from hopelessness or feeling stuck to glimmers of hope.
00:14:25.039 --> 00:14:37.120
Instead of asking what is wrong with me, we can start asking what happened to me or what's happening in my life right now that's contributing to the overwhelm, to how I feel, what needs to change in order for me to be well.
00:14:37.919 --> 00:14:42.480
And this is why in our approach, we don't pathologize your experience.
00:14:42.559 --> 00:14:57.120
And instead, we look at your unique puzzle pieces, your past trauma, your current stressors, your lifestyle habits, your biology, your relationships, and then help you to create a healing path forward that makes sense for you.
00:14:57.840 --> 00:15:04.879
Now, in this episode, you may hear me reference our approach, my approach, not because I'm trying to sell you on working with us.
00:15:05.039 --> 00:15:08.080
If this resonates and that feels like the path you want to take, amazing.
00:15:08.159 --> 00:15:12.559
I'm always thrilled about being invited into your healing journeys.
00:15:12.799 --> 00:15:21.360
But I want to make it clear when I say my approach or our approach, that I am not saying that this is the only approach to mental health or healing.
00:15:21.519 --> 00:15:27.200
There are many, many, many different frameworks for healing that work well for a variety of different folks.
00:15:27.519 --> 00:15:29.120
This is ours.
00:15:29.600 --> 00:15:42.399
This is the approach that I have spent the last many years creating because it filled in the blanks of what was missing for me in my healing journey and has since served thousands of other individuals.
00:15:42.639 --> 00:16:00.240
And so if you are somebody who is curious about working with us, either in our one-on-one coaching program or joining the membership, then this series and this kind of wrap-up episode helps you make that decision from a more informed place about who we are, how we approach healing, and if that resonates with you, again, I'd love to connect.
00:16:00.480 --> 00:16:05.200
Or maybe you are somebody who is on more of a self-healing journey right now.
00:16:05.440 --> 00:16:12.080
Or you are using this information to supplement work that you're already doing in another place or with another incredible practitioner.
00:16:12.320 --> 00:16:13.679
Also amazing.
00:16:14.000 --> 00:16:23.200
With the rest of this conversation, listen through the lens that is most appropriate for you with the question of what has this series offered me?
00:16:23.679 --> 00:16:31.200
Does this feel like the approach I want to take, or what pieces of this approach can I weave into what I'm already doing or have already done?
00:16:31.440 --> 00:16:44.559
What we have found makes an effective long-term plan towards wellness and healing is one that explores and addresses and integrates multiple arenas in our life.
00:16:44.960 --> 00:17:08.640
Physical health through understanding our physiology, optimizing our blood work, creating supportive lifestyle habits, mental health through addressing thought patterns, beliefs, developing emotional regulation skills, deeper trauma work, relational health, building connection, boundary setting, creating safety in relationships, environmental health through adjusting your surroundings to better support your nervous system.
00:17:08.880 --> 00:17:10.160
It's not either or.
00:20:07.440 --> 00:20:19.759
This can be anything from work to relationships, your to-do list, your physical health, daily habits, past experiences that still you're carrying around that are heavy beliefs.
00:20:20.000 --> 00:20:22.000
Looking at those two categories of stressors.
00:20:22.079 --> 00:20:23.680
What are your baseline stressors?
00:20:23.839 --> 00:20:25.680
And then what are your daily stressors?
00:20:26.000 --> 00:20:29.759
How full is your stress bucket on a regular basis?
00:20:30.000 --> 00:20:32.160
And then looking at reactive tools.
00:20:32.480 --> 00:20:35.839
First, what reactive tools do you already have?
00:20:36.079 --> 00:20:42.720
What are the things that you turn to that already work for you that help you to feel more supported, more resourced, or to shift your state?
00:20:42.960 --> 00:20:44.960
And then which ones might you need to develop?
00:20:45.119 --> 00:20:48.160
In what situations do you feel like you lack tools?
00:20:48.319 --> 00:20:52.799
Where do you find yourself spiraling out or being more reactive or shut down than you want to be?
00:20:53.119 --> 00:21:07.119
So with assessing this part of your current reality, consider what you already naturally do when you're stressed and what's effective versus what might not be so helpful and what skills, what tools you still need in your toolbox.
00:21:07.359 --> 00:21:12.319
And then looking at what proactive changes feel the most meaningful and accessible for you.
00:21:12.799 --> 00:21:14.400
Looking at your daily lifestyle habits.
00:21:14.559 --> 00:21:15.279
Are you sleeping enough?
00:21:15.359 --> 00:21:16.240
Are you eating enough?
00:21:16.400 --> 00:21:17.759
Are you drinking enough?
00:21:18.319 --> 00:21:24.319
If we are not rested, nourished, or hydrated, it makes sense that there are alarm bells going off in our system.
00:21:24.720 --> 00:21:25.759
Are you moving?
00:21:26.240 --> 00:21:29.680
The healthiest version of your brain lives inside a body in motion.
00:21:30.240 --> 00:21:36.880
But also some of the proactive healing could be looking at those hard, heavy things from our past.
00:21:37.200 --> 00:21:38.480
And we do all of this.
00:21:38.640 --> 00:21:42.880
This proactive approach happens in small, sustainable steps.
00:21:43.359 --> 00:21:54.160
What is a small, sustainable thing that I can take on to create an internal and an external lived experience that is more supportive to regulation?
00:21:54.880 --> 00:21:57.599
So step one is just to assess your current reality.
00:21:57.839 --> 00:22:07.759
And this is not gonna happen by sitting down and Journal session with these questions, but that could be a place to start, and then letting that awareness build.
00:22:07.920 --> 00:22:09.359
And so that would be step two.
00:22:09.519 --> 00:22:13.359
Number one is assess what already is within your field of awareness.
00:22:13.519 --> 00:22:16.799
And then step two is to build on that awareness.
00:22:17.039 --> 00:22:24.079
And one of the most important places to start, I think, is to begin practicing nervous system mapping in your daily life.
00:22:24.240 --> 00:22:28.319
So throughout your day, can you notice when you shift states throughout the body?
00:22:28.480 --> 00:22:31.359
So many of us have become so disconnected from our body.
00:22:31.599 --> 00:22:34.559
We are living in our mind, we're living in our thoughts.
00:22:34.960 --> 00:22:40.880
For a variety of reasons, we've had to just kind of numb out and quiet our body-based experience.
00:22:41.039 --> 00:22:42.400
But that's 80% of this.
00:22:42.640 --> 00:22:45.039
So can you put a post-it note on the back of your door?
00:22:45.200 --> 00:22:46.400
I love toilet check-ins.
00:22:46.559 --> 00:22:47.680
They're so simple.
00:22:47.920 --> 00:22:50.960
Just a post-it note that says, what state is your nervous system in?
00:22:51.119 --> 00:22:53.119
Or where are you on that nervous system ladder?
00:22:53.359 --> 00:22:54.400
Look at it.
00:22:54.640 --> 00:22:59.279
This is a place your body is going to force you to be at least a few times a day.
00:22:59.519 --> 00:23:01.680
A couple more than that if you're actually hydrated.
00:23:01.920 --> 00:23:10.079
Instead of sitting there and mindlessly scrolling or checking out or letting your brain spiral out about how stressed out you are, can we have a visual cue that says, hey, take this moment and just tune in?
00:23:10.160 --> 00:23:11.039
How am I doing?
00:23:11.200 --> 00:23:12.640
What state am I in?
00:23:12.880 --> 00:23:14.400
Do I know what's contributing to that?
00:23:14.559 --> 00:23:17.279
Is there anything I can do right now to support myself?
00:23:17.599 --> 00:23:20.880
And this awareness alone can be transformative.
00:23:21.039 --> 00:23:34.160
It is amazing what happens when your mind-body system just realizes that you're listening instead of ignoring the way that it softens or what it's willing to share with you to help you understand.
00:23:34.720 --> 00:23:40.240
And then throughout your day, you can also build on that awareness of what's triggering these shifts.
00:23:40.720 --> 00:23:45.440
Oh, that's attached to the past or that's attached to present overwhelm.
00:23:45.680 --> 00:23:47.759
That's this part of my stress bucket.
00:23:48.720 --> 00:23:55.680
And this starts to create a system that has enough awareness to step into change.
00:23:56.559 --> 00:24:01.279
Where we usually start with clients is to help them build their reactive toolkit.
00:24:01.359 --> 00:24:06.720
We don't want to say, hey, get really good at noticing when you're dysregulated and good luck with what to do there.
00:24:06.960 --> 00:24:17.200
We say, hey, we're going to help you get really aware of when you're dysregulated and let's support you in building out a toolkit so that you know what to do.
00:24:17.519 --> 00:24:27.359
What are the three to five tools or practices that work best for your unique nervous system to help you feel supported or to shift you towards more regulation?
00:24:28.000 --> 00:24:32.160
So remember, reactive regulation is like that first aid kit for your nervous system.
00:24:32.880 --> 00:24:38.480
This can involve things like breath work, movement, grounding, self-compassion.
00:24:39.279 --> 00:24:50.000
There are hundreds, if not thousands, of different things that we have helped clients identify as uniquely regulating for them and the unique circumstances in which they need these tools.
00:24:50.240 --> 00:24:52.400
And so, reactive tools, think about it.
00:24:52.480 --> 00:24:54.079
My stress bucket is overflowing.
00:24:54.160 --> 00:24:55.599
I'm going to poke some holes in it.
00:24:55.839 --> 00:24:59.119
We don't want to spend the rest of our life needing to poke holes in our bucket.
00:24:59.200 --> 00:25:01.599
We want a bucket that's not so heavy.
00:25:01.759 --> 00:25:04.079
We want a bucket that's not overflowing so often.
00:25:04.400 --> 00:25:06.400
But many of you are coming to a podcast like this.
00:25:06.559 --> 00:25:10.799
Many of our clients come to work with us because their bucket is already overflowing.
00:25:11.039 --> 00:25:17.920
So we're going to start by giving you the quick ways to just get an inch to build a little bit more capacity in your system.
00:25:18.079 --> 00:25:20.400
We're going to poke some holes when we notice our bucket's overflowing.
00:25:20.480 --> 00:25:21.279
I'm dysregulated.
00:25:21.440 --> 00:25:21.920
Now what?
00:25:22.079 --> 00:25:23.759
That's your reactive toolkit.
00:25:24.000 --> 00:25:34.799
Then what happens is to look at that stress bucket and choose one, one place, one proactive area to focus on.
00:25:35.119 --> 00:25:37.920
What feels both meaningful and doable to address.
00:25:38.079 --> 00:25:44.240
Maybe it's improving sleep, setting boundaries, addressing a nutrient deficiency shown in your blood work.
00:25:44.480 --> 00:25:53.599
Small consistent changes in one area creates capacity for the next area, the next change that you want to take on.
00:25:53.839 --> 00:25:58.079
And we're aiming for sustainable progress, not perfection.
00:25:58.400 --> 00:26:01.359
Trauma is overwhelming.
00:26:01.680 --> 00:26:04.240
Healing often happens in baby steps.
00:26:04.480 --> 00:26:18.000
And what needs to happen all along this journey is to make space for you to acknowledge and celebrate progress, even tiny, subtle ones.
00:26:18.160 --> 00:26:28.720
And so often, what we find is a really powerful thing that can happen in our coaching sessions or in therapy is that you have somebody else kind of watching your progress bar too.
00:26:28.880 --> 00:26:31.920
It can be really hard to notice progress when we're living in it ourselves.
00:26:32.000 --> 00:26:41.279
And one of our favorite things to do as practitioners is to take what a client is presenting sometimes as, oh my gosh, this is so frustrating.
00:26:41.359 --> 00:26:44.400
This was this, this was this, and be like, yeah, I hear that, I see that.
00:26:44.720 --> 00:26:53.519
And can you acknowledge how even this frustration is different than it might have been three months ago or six months ago?
00:26:53.839 --> 00:26:59.200
Do you notice how even though that's frustrating, you showed up and supported yourself differently.
00:26:59.440 --> 00:27:05.279
You reacted differently, you did differently in a way that felt more aligned and authentic and supportive for you.
00:27:05.519 --> 00:27:10.480
And we watch as their face softens and their shoulders drop and they go, Oh yeah.
00:27:10.799 --> 00:27:11.839
Oh yeah.
00:27:12.079 --> 00:27:21.440
And we allow them to sit in and savor that acknowledgement of progress because healing isn't linear, it doesn't happen overnight.
00:27:21.680 --> 00:27:27.359
Some days feel like success and others feel like steps back, and it's all part of the process.
00:27:27.599 --> 00:27:44.559
And when we can remember to celebrate and acknowledge each of these steps, when we can maybe even build play into this process, we can heal in a much more compassionate and oftentimes more effective way.
00:27:45.039 --> 00:27:47.519
It is not regulating your nervous system.
00:27:47.599 --> 00:27:50.799
It's not about achieving some perfect state of constant regulation.
00:27:51.200 --> 00:27:54.720
Life is always going to include challenges and stressors.
00:27:55.039 --> 00:28:00.079
Being a messy human in a messy human world means that you will experience overwhelm.
00:28:00.319 --> 00:28:03.200
You will experience activation and shutdown in doses.
00:28:03.440 --> 00:28:05.359
We just don't want to live there anymore.
00:28:05.680 --> 00:28:16.000
The key to all of this is to become more aware of your unique nervous systems signals and to learn what tools and what approach is best for you.
00:28:16.400 --> 00:28:28.799
The goal of this work is to build resilience and flexibility and a baseline of regulation that allows you to navigate life's ups and downs without getting stuck in chronic survival mode.
00:28:29.279 --> 00:28:38.480
And as we wrap up this series, I want to leave you with what I believe is the true invitation of this healing approach.
00:28:38.720 --> 00:28:43.920
And what this is all about, it's about coming home to yourself.
00:28:44.720 --> 00:28:48.480
It is a better, more whole way of healing.
00:28:49.519 --> 00:28:59.599
When we live in chronic states of anxiety or depression, we are living feeling disconnected from ourselves.
00:28:59.759 --> 00:29:04.960
We lose touch with what we actually want, what we need, what we value, who we are.
00:29:05.759 --> 00:29:10.640
We operate from survival patterns rather than authentic choice.
00:29:11.200 --> 00:29:19.519
We may even forget what it feels like to feel like ourselves, to feel good in our own skin.
00:29:19.920 --> 00:29:26.799
The journey of healing through a nervous system lens is ultimately about reclaiming that sense of connection.
00:29:26.960 --> 00:29:42.559
It's about creating enough safety in your system and in your everyday life so that you can feel like you're actually living and not just surviving, so that you can feel like yourself or discover who yourself is.
00:29:43.039 --> 00:29:49.599
It is where you are able to access your inner wisdom, your inner knowing, creativity, joy, and resilience.
00:29:50.000 --> 00:29:57.519
This is about cultivating and remembering who you are beneath the protective patterns and survival strategies.
00:29:57.759 --> 00:30:00.640
And this work isn't, it's not always easy.
00:30:00.799 --> 00:30:03.119
And it rarely follows a straight line.
00:30:03.359 --> 00:30:08.480
Like I mentioned, there's going to be days that feel like progress and days that feel like challenges or steps back.
00:30:09.279 --> 00:30:11.839
And it's all part of it.
00:30:12.640 --> 00:30:14.480
You are not broken.
00:30:15.359 --> 00:30:17.759
Your symptoms make sense.
00:30:18.079 --> 00:30:22.000
And my promise to you is that healing is possible.
00:30:22.480 --> 00:30:27.039
And as we conclude this back to the basics series, there are three main takeaways.
00:30:27.200 --> 00:30:29.119
Number one, a whole human approach.
00:30:29.359 --> 00:30:31.359
Number two, your symptoms make sense.
00:30:31.519 --> 00:30:34.799
And number three, there is a strategic path forward.
00:30:35.039 --> 00:30:46.240
And I'm going to take just a few moments to elaborate on what I mean by each of these, but also offer one to two reflection questions with each for you to think about or journal about.
00:30:46.400 --> 00:30:58.400
Like I said, I wanted this conversation to be as much about a review as is a roadmap of how you can take what you have learned in this series and apply it to your healing.
00:30:58.640 --> 00:31:03.839
Takeaway number one: a whole human approach.
00:31:04.079 --> 00:31:10.160
Acknowledging that true healing comes from integrating both physiological and the psychological.
00:31:10.880 --> 00:31:19.279
An approach that explores and acknowledges how your body, your mind, relationships, and environments, your past, your present are all interconnected.
00:31:19.680 --> 00:31:31.759
Understanding the interplay between your nervous system, stress bucket, reactive, proactive regulation creates a comprehensive framework for healing that honors your unique experiences and needs.
00:31:32.079 --> 00:31:48.240
And so if you've been feeling stuck in your healing, consider asking yourself or reflecting on which areas of my life, physical, mental, relational, environmental, feels most neglected in my current healing approach?
00:31:48.480 --> 00:31:52.160
What small steps can I take to address that?
00:31:52.400 --> 00:31:55.839
That can be a really profound question to give an honest answer to.
00:31:56.079 --> 00:32:00.079
Takeaway number two is that your symptoms likely make sense.
00:32:00.400 --> 00:32:06.799
Your symptoms likely make perfect sense given your past lived experiences and your current life circumstances.
00:32:07.039 --> 00:32:08.960
Your symptoms are not signs of brokenness.
00:32:09.039 --> 00:32:10.319
They're not here to annoy you.
00:32:10.400 --> 00:32:14.960
They are messages from your system, a system that is trying to protect you.
00:32:15.279 --> 00:32:24.640
And understanding this can help you shift from self-blame to self-compassion, which is where safety and true healing exists.
00:32:24.960 --> 00:32:30.240
A system stuck in survival mode and self-blame is not a flexible system that's very willing to change.
00:32:30.480 --> 00:32:43.119
And so maybe taking some time to think about or journal, asking yourself this question of how might my perspective shift if I approach my symptoms with curiosity rather than judgment?
00:32:43.440 --> 00:32:50.079
How might my perspective shift if I start asking what happened to me instead of what's wrong with me?
00:32:50.480 --> 00:33:07.200
If I were able to apply this equation as truth, that the current state of my nervous system makes sense, equals my past lived experience and current life circumstances, what is one key insight that I gain about why I might be struggling in the way that I am?
00:33:07.680 --> 00:33:13.039
Then takeaway number three is that there is a strategic path forward.
00:33:13.440 --> 00:33:23.920
Real healing comes from this balanced approach that includes both in-the-moment tools and deeper proactive change that addresses the root cause of dysregulation physiologically and psychologically.
00:33:24.480 --> 00:33:39.039
The journey of healing viewed through a nervous system lens is ultimately about reconnecting with your authentic self, accessing these inner resources, cultivating more of them, and creating a life where you feel safe, resilient, and whole.
00:33:39.279 --> 00:33:49.039
And so asking yourself, what's one reactive tool that I can practice this week when I notice dysregulation?
00:33:49.279 --> 00:33:56.640
And then what's one proactive change I feel ready to explore to address some of the weight in my stress bucket?
00:33:57.920 --> 00:34:09.280
And then a second bonus question here that I think can be a really beautiful experience can also be one that comes with a lot of grief or heaviness.
00:34:09.599 --> 00:34:15.199
But to take some time to ask, what does coming home to myself mean?
00:34:15.760 --> 00:34:23.760
And what is one small practice or action that I could incorporate today to cultivate a stronger connection with myself?
00:34:24.800 --> 00:34:32.079
These questions might be something that you feel ready and prepared to sit with and journal with.
00:34:32.159 --> 00:34:38.159
These are questions you might want to take and explore with a provider or practitioner that you're already working with.
00:34:38.400 --> 00:34:48.960
But my promise to you is that there are answers to these questions that will shine lights into areas of healing that could be meaningful and help move you forward.
00:34:49.920 --> 00:34:56.159
Thank you so much for joining with me for this series, for sticking with me through to the end of this series.
00:34:56.400 --> 00:35:16.559
Whether you have been with this podcast from the beginning or if these back to the basic episodes were your introduction, I am endlessly grateful for the opportunity to share these concepts with you, for the opportunities I get to connect with so many of you through Instagram DMs or email messages, discovery calls.
00:35:16.800 --> 00:35:28.400
And my deepest hope is that each one of these episodes that they offer you not just information, but a renewed sense of hope and possibility for your healing.
00:35:29.199 --> 00:35:34.880
And as always, friend, until next time, I am sending so much hope and healing your way.
00:00:00.080 --> 00:00:01.120
My healing journey.
00:00:01.280 --> 00:00:14.800
I'm your host, Amanda Armstrong, and I'll be sharing my steps, my missteps, client experiences, and tangible research-based tools to help you regulate your nervous system, rewire your mind, and reclaim your life.
00:00:15.039 --> 00:00:16.079
Thanks for being here.
00:00:16.160 --> 00:00:17.519
Now let's dive in.
00:00:18.640 --> 00:00:27.679
Quick note before we get into today's episode, this is part of my Back to the Basics series, which I am rerunning on the podcast right now.
00:00:27.920 --> 00:00:35.840
It originally aired in February 2025, and it is still the series that I hear back about the most.
00:00:36.079 --> 00:00:42.560
How it helped people finally make sense and see their anxiety and depression in a new helpful way.
00:00:42.799 --> 00:00:49.679
And since there's been a wave of new listeners joining lately, I wanted to bring this series back around.
00:00:49.840 --> 00:01:03.280
And for those of you who happen to be here the first time, I invite you to listen again through this series through the lens of where you are right now, because that's likely shifted over the last year and a half.
00:01:03.520 --> 00:01:07.680
And just curiously see what might land differently.
00:01:07.920 --> 00:01:11.040
And throughout the series, there's one quick correction.
00:01:11.280 --> 00:01:15.200
In the episodes, I may mention Rise, my membership.
00:01:15.439 --> 00:01:21.200
Well, in the last year and a half, RISE got a glow up and is now my regulated living membership.
00:01:21.280 --> 00:01:24.400
So same container, same work, just new name, new brand.
00:01:24.560 --> 00:01:25.840
All right, let's jump in.
00:01:26.159 --> 00:01:31.200
Welcome to the final episode, part nine of my Back to the Basics series.
00:01:31.439 --> 00:01:47.439
Over the past eight episodes, we have explored how the nervous system plays a central role in anxiety and depression, the importance of regulation skills, the stress bucket concept, and even touched on blood work and the truth about the chemical imbalance theory.
00:01:47.680 --> 00:01:57.519
We together have taken a deep dive into understanding anxiety and depression through a neuroscience and whole human lens.
00:01:57.680 --> 00:02:13.919
And for today's conversation, I want to help bring all of these pieces together and want this episode to serve both as a review as well as a roadmap for how you might want to bring elements of my approach into your own healing journey.
00:02:14.319 --> 00:02:22.639
I'm going to start by revisiting each of the past eight episodes with just a little reminder of some of the core elements that we covered.
00:02:22.800 --> 00:02:24.080
So we started this series.
00:02:24.319 --> 00:02:37.360
Part one was all about getting to know your nervous system, the nervous system basics, understanding that your nervous system is constantly scanning for safety and danger cues in those three places.
00:02:37.520 --> 00:02:39.759
Remember outside, inside, and in between.
00:02:40.080 --> 00:02:55.919
And it is shifting your physiological state, which impacts your psychological state, based on what it perceives and how it is interpreting what it perceives based on your past lived experiences and current life circumstances.
00:02:56.159 --> 00:03:06.080
Then in part two, we unpacked the six different nervous system states, our three primary states, the green zone of regulation, yellow zone of activation, and red zone of shutdown.
00:03:06.400 --> 00:03:23.120
And then the three mixed states of play, stillness, and freeze, and talked about how each of these states has a unique profile of sensations, emotions, thoughts, and behaviors, and how you, we talked in this episode about the nervous system.
00:03:23.280 --> 00:03:37.199
And I offered an invitation for you to become more familiar with your nervous system, how you know that you are in one of those states, how you can answer where am I on that nervous system ladder in any given moment.
00:03:37.599 --> 00:03:41.520
Then in part three, we talked about why we get stuck.
00:03:41.759 --> 00:03:46.080
We examined how our nervous systems get stuck in dysregulation.
00:03:46.319 --> 00:03:56.560
And typically, it is either because or because of a combination of number one, that we are living in a biologically unsupportive way.
00:03:56.719 --> 00:03:59.680
This is where I shared with you that plant analogy, right?
00:03:59.840 --> 00:04:05.919
When I have a plant in a dark corner that's not getting enough water, I don't look at that plant and be like, oh yeah, disordered plant.
00:04:06.159 --> 00:04:11.120
No, it's not getting the basic things that it needs for the health of its biological system to thrive.
00:04:11.280 --> 00:04:12.800
So of course it's getting symptoms.
00:04:12.960 --> 00:04:13.919
Of course it is suffering.
00:04:14.240 --> 00:04:17.600
And we should expect the same from our biological systems as well.
00:04:17.920 --> 00:04:39.040
The other reason that we often get stuck in states of dysregulation is because of our past lived experiences, because we are living in a chronically stressed-out state that is causing us to misinterpret situations, that is causing our lives to feel less safe than they might actually be.
00:04:39.279 --> 00:04:42.240
In part four, we talked about the stress bucket.
00:04:42.319 --> 00:04:47.360
So this is an analogy that is a core tenet of our practice and the work that we do with clients.
00:04:47.519 --> 00:04:56.399
This is where we help our clients understand and explore their unique stress load, both their baseline and daily stressors.
00:04:56.480 --> 00:05:00.240
Those are the two categories of stressors I talked about in that episode.
00:05:00.560 --> 00:05:04.240
And understanding that we all have a limited carrying capacity.
00:05:04.639 --> 00:05:07.439
So many of us are sitting here, like, I don't know why I'm struggling.
00:05:07.600 --> 00:05:12.639
And then we sit down and do a stress bucket assessment with them, and they're like, oh yeah, that bucket's really heavy.
00:05:12.720 --> 00:05:15.600
That bucket's been overflowing for years now.
00:05:15.920 --> 00:05:23.519
And it is that overflow, that heaviness that pushes us further and further down that nervous system ladder into states of activation or shutdown.
00:05:23.680 --> 00:05:31.120
It's that overflow, it's that heaviness that creates our symptoms when we have exceeded our capacity to carry.
00:05:31.360 --> 00:05:36.319
Then we moved into talking about reactive regulation.
00:05:36.560 --> 00:05:47.199
And we spent two episodes here talking about these in-the-moment tools that help us to resource ourselves or shift our state when we notice that dysregulation is happening.
00:05:47.439 --> 00:05:50.480
When I can say, oh, I'm in the yellow zone.
00:05:50.560 --> 00:05:52.480
I'm feeling really activated or I'm shut down.
00:05:52.720 --> 00:05:57.680
These are the tools that instead of spiraling out around, oh, I'm so anxious right now and I don't know what to do.
00:05:57.839 --> 00:05:58.959
This is your toolkit.
00:05:59.120 --> 00:05:59.920
I'm so anxious.
00:06:00.000 --> 00:06:01.120
I'm so activated right now.
00:06:01.279 --> 00:06:05.120
And here are some things that I can try to support myself right now.
00:06:05.360 --> 00:06:08.160
Then we moved on to proactive regulation.
00:06:08.319 --> 00:06:13.839
So for reactive regulation is the in-the-moment tools when you're already dysregulated.
00:06:14.160 --> 00:06:23.360
Proactive regulation are the various things that you do so that you find yourself in states of dysregulation less often.
00:06:23.920 --> 00:06:45.519
This is the long-term strategic approach to creating a more regulated life, to addressing the root cause, to looking at your stress bucket consistently over and over and over again, and saying, okay, what feels meaningful and accessible for me to change right now?
00:06:45.759 --> 00:06:46.240
Awesome.
00:06:46.399 --> 00:06:48.160
I'm gonna go do that work for a little while.
00:06:48.240 --> 00:06:52.000
And either I'm gonna make traction and I'm gonna see improvement, or I'm not.
00:06:52.560 --> 00:06:54.800
And I'm gonna be frustrated, but oh man, no big deal.
00:06:54.879 --> 00:06:56.399
I can come back to my stress bucket.
00:06:56.560 --> 00:06:59.920
And I can say, maybe that wasn't the place to start, or it was.
00:07:00.240 --> 00:07:06.800
Where else is going to be accessible and make meaningful change in my healing journey?
00:07:06.959 --> 00:07:12.319
So it's proactive regulation, how we can engage in more regulated living.
00:07:12.560 --> 00:07:29.839
Then in part eight, we talked about the role of blood work and touched on the chemical imbalance theory and how understanding the role of your underlying physiology and the ways that it can create or contribute to your symptoms or symptom intensity.
00:07:30.000 --> 00:07:30.720
It's important.
00:07:30.879 --> 00:07:56.639
It's important because there's no amount of talk therapy or meds that is going to heal symptoms of anxiety or depression that are caused by micronutrient deficiencies or hormone imbalances, a variety of different measurable factors that can, when addressed strategically and personally for you, bring a lot more stability to your system.
00:07:57.120 --> 00:08:06.240
And the reason that I structured this series in this way, in this order, is because each of these episodes, these concepts build upon each other.
00:08:06.560 --> 00:08:17.519
You cannot effectively use reactive regulation tools if you do not understand your different nervous system states because there's different tools that work a little better for different states than others.
00:08:17.680 --> 00:08:20.160
So you need to be able to answer the question: what state am I in?
00:08:20.240 --> 00:08:22.000
Where am I on that nervous system ladder?
00:08:22.160 --> 00:08:25.120
And then what tools best support me when I find myself here?
00:08:25.360 --> 00:08:32.879
And you can't create a sustainable proactive approach if you don't know what is in your stress bucket.
00:08:33.039 --> 00:08:40.159
Optimizing lab results will only get you so far if the rest of your life is dysfunctional, is dysregulating.
00:08:40.399 --> 00:08:48.399
And none of this works if you don't have a compassionate understanding that your symptoms make sense.
00:08:48.720 --> 00:08:53.679
Your symptoms make sense given your unique circumstances.
00:08:54.159 --> 00:08:58.559
And this integrated approach is what makes healing possible.
00:08:58.799 --> 00:09:07.360
Not just temporary management of symptoms, but truly addressing the underlying root causes of anxiety and depression.
00:09:07.600 --> 00:09:18.720
And one of the most important takeaways from this series, in my opinion, is that healing requires us to consider both our physiology and our psychology.
00:09:18.960 --> 00:09:26.159
Like I've said before, we take a physiology first, but not a physiology-only approach to healing.
00:09:26.399 --> 00:09:31.600
Think of it this way: your body and mind are constantly communicating.
00:09:31.759 --> 00:09:36.879
And 80% of this mind-body conversation originates in the body from the nervous system.
00:09:37.120 --> 00:09:46.960
So if your body is depleted, if you are dealing with nutrient deficiencies, hormonal imbalances, chronic inflammation, chronic stress, you are always go, go, go, go on.
00:09:47.039 --> 00:09:50.799
And you are flooding your system with a cocktail of adrenaline and cortisol.
00:09:50.960 --> 00:09:59.679
If you're sleep deprived or overly sedentary, all of these things directly impact your brain function and your nervous system states.
00:10:00.399 --> 00:10:08.559
When enough of these basic biological needs go unmet, anxiety and depression are not disorders.
00:10:08.720 --> 00:10:15.440
They are natural physiological responses to unnatural conditions.
00:10:15.759 --> 00:10:21.039
And we cannot simply mindset our way out of a nervous system that is stuck in survival mode.
00:10:21.440 --> 00:10:26.000
And at the same time, psychological factors are also very important.
00:10:27.039 --> 00:10:38.000
Looking at things like past trauma, unhealthy relationships, a lack of belonging or sense of purpose, a lack of play or creativity in your life.
00:10:38.320 --> 00:10:47.360
These also are all things that load up your stress bucket, that contribute to dysregulation and keep us stuck in states of survival.
00:10:47.600 --> 00:10:50.879
For example, let's say that somebody is experiencing anxiety.
00:10:51.039 --> 00:11:05.919
Let's say you're experiencing anxiety and comprehensive blood work reveals a vitamin D deficiency or a thyroid imbalance, which are maybe at the root or just contributing to the symptoms of anxiety.
00:11:06.159 --> 00:11:18.879
But let's say you're also working a high stress job andor carrying around some unresolved trauma, that's also keeping your nervous system stuck in a high alert state.
00:11:19.200 --> 00:11:26.320
In this case, addressing only the physiological factors won't lead to complete healing.
00:11:26.559 --> 00:11:32.159
But that is likely where this person could benefit the most from starting.
00:11:32.480 --> 00:11:44.159
Because when you are trying to make big changes in your life, maybe changing a job or setting boundaries at your job, when you are trying to turn back towards unresolved trauma, that's deep work, that's hard work.
00:11:44.240 --> 00:11:48.320
It is naturally a little destabilizing for our internal system.
00:11:48.720 --> 00:12:01.360
Well, if we can remedy that vitamin D deficiency, if we can get on a protocol that helps to balance our thyroid, that's automatically going to take some load out of our stress bucket.
00:12:01.440 --> 00:12:16.559
It's going to stabilize and create capacity to take on some of this deeper work, the psychological work, the beliefs around your job and setting boundaries and self-worth, looking at the parts of your past that were really overwhelming.
00:12:16.879 --> 00:12:19.679
This is why our approach is so comprehensive.
00:12:20.000 --> 00:12:28.720
It is so important that we consider whole person, whole life, mind, body, circumstances, past, present.
00:12:29.200 --> 00:12:31.360
And to create a personalized path forward.
00:12:31.519 --> 00:12:33.360
Mental health looks different for everyone.
00:12:33.919 --> 00:12:39.360
What contributes to the activation or the shutdown of your system looks different than anybody else's.
00:12:39.679 --> 00:12:45.279
And so your path forward, the path to healing, is going to look unique as well.
00:12:45.679 --> 00:12:57.360
And at the heart of everything we've discussed is this really simple but powerful equation, which is that the current state of your nervous system, your anxiety, your depression, your activation, your shutdown, the current state of your nervous system makes sense.
00:12:57.519 --> 00:13:02.240
It equals your past lived experiences and your current life circumstances.
00:13:03.200 --> 00:13:10.399
And this equation reminds us that everything you experience makes sense when we consider both your history and your present reality.
00:13:10.720 --> 00:13:21.759
When you consider the things you've been through, this might be the things that happened to you or the things that you didn't get enough of that you needed to feel safe, seen, supported.
00:13:21.919 --> 00:13:26.320
And that resulted in various protective patterns.
00:13:26.559 --> 00:13:28.240
And then we look at your current reality.
00:13:28.399 --> 00:13:31.679
This includes your habits, environments, relationships, health.
00:13:31.919 --> 00:13:39.840
And part of that also includes acknowledging, or at least bringing being aware of your genetics or your accounts for biodiversity.
00:13:40.080 --> 00:13:43.759
But those factors alone are never the full picture.
00:13:44.000 --> 00:13:46.080
Your anxiety or depression is not random.
00:13:46.159 --> 00:13:54.399
It's not a character flaw, and it is not something that you should just get over or accept as an unchanging element for the rest of your life.
00:13:54.720 --> 00:14:01.120
Most often, they are normal responses to abnormal circumstances.
00:14:01.360 --> 00:14:24.879
And when we truly embrace this understanding, and what I see every day in our client work with folks, what I hear almost every day, in some capacity from those of you listening to this podcast, is that understanding your symptoms through this way helps you to shift from self-blame to self-compassion, from hopelessness or feeling stuck to glimmers of hope.
00:14:25.039 --> 00:14:37.120
Instead of asking what is wrong with me, we can start asking what happened to me or what's happening in my life right now that's contributing to the overwhelm, to how I feel, what needs to change in order for me to be well.
00:14:37.919 --> 00:14:42.480
And this is why in our approach, we don't pathologize your experience.
00:14:42.559 --> 00:14:57.120
And instead, we look at your unique puzzle pieces, your past trauma, your current stressors, your lifestyle habits, your biology, your relationships, and then help you to create a healing path forward that makes sense for you.
00:14:57.840 --> 00:15:04.879
Now, in this episode, you may hear me reference our approach, my approach, not because I'm trying to sell you on working with us.
00:15:05.039 --> 00:15:08.080
If this resonates and that feels like the path you want to take, amazing.
00:15:08.159 --> 00:15:12.559
I'm always thrilled about being invited into your healing journeys.
00:15:12.799 --> 00:15:21.360
But I want to make it clear when I say my approach or our approach, that I am not saying that this is the only approach to mental health or healing.
00:15:21.519 --> 00:15:27.200
There are many, many, many different frameworks for healing that work well for a variety of different folks.
00:15:27.519 --> 00:15:29.120
This is ours.
00:15:29.600 --> 00:15:42.399
This is the approach that I have spent the last many years creating because it filled in the blanks of what was missing for me in my healing journey and has since served thousands of other individuals.
00:15:42.639 --> 00:16:00.240
And so if you are somebody who is curious about working with us, either in our one-on-one coaching program or joining the membership, then this series and this kind of wrap-up episode helps you make that decision from a more informed place about who we are, how we approach healing, and if that resonates with you, again, I'd love to connect.
00:16:00.480 --> 00:16:05.200
Or maybe you are somebody who is on more of a self-healing journey right now.
00:16:05.440 --> 00:16:12.080
Or you are using this information to supplement work that you're already doing in another place or with another incredible practitioner.
00:16:12.320 --> 00:16:13.679
Also amazing.
00:16:14.000 --> 00:16:23.200
With the rest of this conversation, listen through the lens that is most appropriate for you with the question of what has this series offered me?
00:16:23.679 --> 00:16:31.200
Does this feel like the approach I want to take, or what pieces of this approach can I weave into what I'm already doing or have already done?
00:16:31.440 --> 00:16:44.559
What we have found makes an effective long-term plan towards wellness and healing is one that explores and addresses and integrates multiple arenas in our life.
00:16:44.960 --> 00:17:08.640
Physical health through understanding our physiology, optimizing our blood work, creating supportive lifestyle habits, mental health through addressing thought patterns, beliefs, developing emotional regulation skills, deeper trauma work, relational health, building connection, boundary setting, creating safety in relationships, environmental health through adjusting your surroundings to better support your nervous system.
00:17:08.880 --> 00:17:10.160
It's not either or.
00:20:07.440 --> 00:20:19.759
This can be anything from work to relationships, your to-do list, your physical health, daily habits, past experiences that still you're carrying around that are heavy beliefs.
00:20:20.000 --> 00:20:22.000
Looking at those two categories of stressors.
00:20:22.079 --> 00:20:23.680
What are your baseline stressors?
00:20:23.839 --> 00:20:25.680
And then what are your daily stressors?
00:20:26.000 --> 00:20:29.759
How full is your stress bucket on a regular basis?
00:20:30.000 --> 00:20:32.160
And then looking at reactive tools.
00:20:32.480 --> 00:20:35.839
First, what reactive tools do you already have?
00:20:36.079 --> 00:20:42.720
What are the things that you turn to that already work for you that help you to feel more supported, more resourced, or to shift your state?
00:20:42.960 --> 00:20:44.960
And then which ones might you need to develop?
00:20:45.119 --> 00:20:48.160
In what situations do you feel like you lack tools?
00:20:48.319 --> 00:20:52.799
Where do you find yourself spiraling out or being more reactive or shut down than you want to be?
00:20:53.119 --> 00:21:07.119
So with assessing this part of your current reality, consider what you already naturally do when you're stressed and what's effective versus what might not be so helpful and what skills, what tools you still need in your toolbox.
00:21:07.359 --> 00:21:12.319
And then looking at what proactive changes feel the most meaningful and accessible for you.
00:21:12.799 --> 00:21:14.400
Looking at your daily lifestyle habits.
00:21:14.559 --> 00:21:15.279
Are you sleeping enough?
00:21:15.359 --> 00:21:16.240
Are you eating enough?
00:21:16.400 --> 00:21:17.759
Are you drinking enough?
00:21:18.319 --> 00:21:24.319
If we are not rested, nourished, or hydrated, it makes sense that there are alarm bells going off in our system.
00:21:24.720 --> 00:21:25.759
Are you moving?
00:21:26.240 --> 00:21:29.680
The healthiest version of your brain lives inside a body in motion.
00:21:30.240 --> 00:21:36.880
But also some of the proactive healing could be looking at those hard, heavy things from our past.
00:21:37.200 --> 00:21:38.480
And we do all of this.
00:21:38.640 --> 00:21:42.880
This proactive approach happens in small, sustainable steps.
00:21:43.359 --> 00:21:54.160
What is a small, sustainable thing that I can take on to create an internal and an external lived experience that is more supportive to regulation?
00:21:54.880 --> 00:21:57.599
So step one is just to assess your current reality.
00:21:57.839 --> 00:22:07.759
And this is not gonna happen by sitting down and Journal session with these questions, but that could be a place to start, and then letting that awareness build.
00:22:07.920 --> 00:22:09.359
And so that would be step two.
00:22:09.519 --> 00:22:13.359
Number one is assess what already is within your field of awareness.
00:22:13.519 --> 00:22:16.799
And then step two is to build on that awareness.
00:22:17.039 --> 00:22:24.079
And one of the most important places to start, I think, is to begin practicing nervous system mapping in your daily life.
00:22:24.240 --> 00:22:28.319
So throughout your day, can you notice when you shift states throughout the body?
00:22:28.480 --> 00:22:31.359
So many of us have become so disconnected from our body.
00:22:31.599 --> 00:22:34.559
We are living in our mind, we're living in our thoughts.
00:22:34.960 --> 00:22:40.880
For a variety of reasons, we've had to just kind of numb out and quiet our body-based experience.
00:22:41.039 --> 00:22:42.400
But that's 80% of this.
00:22:42.640 --> 00:22:45.039
So can you put a post-it note on the back of your door?
00:22:45.200 --> 00:22:46.400
I love toilet check-ins.
00:22:46.559 --> 00:22:47.680
They're so simple.
00:22:47.920 --> 00:22:50.960
Just a post-it note that says, what state is your nervous system in?
00:22:51.119 --> 00:22:53.119
Or where are you on that nervous system ladder?
00:22:53.359 --> 00:22:54.400
Look at it.
00:22:54.640 --> 00:22:59.279
This is a place your body is going to force you to be at least a few times a day.
00:22:59.519 --> 00:23:01.680
A couple more than that if you're actually hydrated.
00:23:01.920 --> 00:23:10.079
Instead of sitting there and mindlessly scrolling or checking out or letting your brain spiral out about how stressed out you are, can we have a visual cue that says, hey, take this moment and just tune in?
00:23:10.160 --> 00:23:11.039
How am I doing?
00:23:11.200 --> 00:23:12.640
What state am I in?
00:23:12.880 --> 00:23:14.400
Do I know what's contributing to that?
00:23:14.559 --> 00:23:17.279
Is there anything I can do right now to support myself?
00:23:17.599 --> 00:23:20.880
And this awareness alone can be transformative.
00:23:21.039 --> 00:23:34.160
It is amazing what happens when your mind-body system just realizes that you're listening instead of ignoring the way that it softens or what it's willing to share with you to help you understand.
00:23:34.720 --> 00:23:40.240
And then throughout your day, you can also build on that awareness of what's triggering these shifts.
00:23:40.720 --> 00:23:45.440
Oh, that's attached to the past or that's attached to present overwhelm.
00:23:45.680 --> 00:23:47.759
That's this part of my stress bucket.
00:23:48.720 --> 00:23:55.680
And this starts to create a system that has enough awareness to step into change.
00:23:56.559 --> 00:24:01.279
Where we usually start with clients is to help them build their reactive toolkit.
00:24:01.359 --> 00:24:06.720
We don't want to say, hey, get really good at noticing when you're dysregulated and good luck with what to do there.
00:24:06.960 --> 00:24:17.200
We say, hey, we're going to help you get really aware of when you're dysregulated and let's support you in building out a toolkit so that you know what to do.
00:24:17.519 --> 00:24:27.359
What are the three to five tools or practices that work best for your unique nervous system to help you feel supported or to shift you towards more regulation?
00:24:28.000 --> 00:24:32.160
So remember, reactive regulation is like that first aid kit for your nervous system.
00:24:32.880 --> 00:24:38.480
This can involve things like breath work, movement, grounding, self-compassion.
00:24:39.279 --> 00:24:50.000
There are hundreds, if not thousands, of different things that we have helped clients identify as uniquely regulating for them and the unique circumstances in which they need these tools.
00:24:50.240 --> 00:24:52.400
And so, reactive tools, think about it.
00:24:52.480 --> 00:24:54.079
My stress bucket is overflowing.
00:24:54.160 --> 00:24:55.599
I'm going to poke some holes in it.
00:24:55.839 --> 00:24:59.119
We don't want to spend the rest of our life needing to poke holes in our bucket.
00:24:59.200 --> 00:25:01.599
We want a bucket that's not so heavy.
00:25:01.759 --> 00:25:04.079
We want a bucket that's not overflowing so often.
00:25:04.400 --> 00:25:06.400
But many of you are coming to a podcast like this.
00:25:06.559 --> 00:25:10.799
Many of our clients come to work with us because their bucket is already overflowing.
00:25:11.039 --> 00:25:17.920
So we're going to start by giving you the quick ways to just get an inch to build a little bit more capacity in your system.
00:25:18.079 --> 00:25:20.400
We're going to poke some holes when we notice our bucket's overflowing.
00:25:20.480 --> 00:25:21.279
I'm dysregulated.
00:25:21.440 --> 00:25:21.920
Now what?
00:25:22.079 --> 00:25:23.759
That's your reactive toolkit.
00:25:24.000 --> 00:25:34.799
Then what happens is to look at that stress bucket and choose one, one place, one proactive area to focus on.
00:25:35.119 --> 00:25:37.920
What feels both meaningful and doable to address.
00:25:38.079 --> 00:25:44.240
Maybe it's improving sleep, setting boundaries, addressing a nutrient deficiency shown in your blood work.
00:25:44.480 --> 00:25:53.599
Small consistent changes in one area creates capacity for the next area, the next change that you want to take on.
00:25:53.839 --> 00:25:58.079
And we're aiming for sustainable progress, not perfection.
00:25:58.400 --> 00:26:01.359
Trauma is overwhelming.
00:26:01.680 --> 00:26:04.240
Healing often happens in baby steps.
00:26:04.480 --> 00:26:18.000
And what needs to happen all along this journey is to make space for you to acknowledge and celebrate progress, even tiny, subtle ones.
00:26:18.160 --> 00:26:28.720
And so often, what we find is a really powerful thing that can happen in our coaching sessions or in therapy is that you have somebody else kind of watching your progress bar too.
00:26:28.880 --> 00:26:31.920
It can be really hard to notice progress when we're living in it ourselves.
00:26:32.000 --> 00:26:41.279
And one of our favorite things to do as practitioners is to take what a client is presenting sometimes as, oh my gosh, this is so frustrating.
00:26:41.359 --> 00:26:44.400
This was this, this was this, and be like, yeah, I hear that, I see that.
00:26:44.720 --> 00:26:53.519
And can you acknowledge how even this frustration is different than it might have been three months ago or six months ago?
00:26:53.839 --> 00:26:59.200
Do you notice how even though that's frustrating, you showed up and supported yourself differently.
00:26:59.440 --> 00:27:05.279
You reacted differently, you did differently in a way that felt more aligned and authentic and supportive for you.
00:27:05.519 --> 00:27:10.480
And we watch as their face softens and their shoulders drop and they go, Oh yeah.
00:27:10.799 --> 00:27:11.839
Oh yeah.
00:27:12.079 --> 00:27:21.440
And we allow them to sit in and savor that acknowledgement of progress because healing isn't linear, it doesn't happen overnight.
00:27:21.680 --> 00:27:27.359
Some days feel like success and others feel like steps back, and it's all part of the process.
00:27:27.599 --> 00:27:44.559
And when we can remember to celebrate and acknowledge each of these steps, when we can maybe even build play into this process, we can heal in a much more compassionate and oftentimes more effective way.
00:27:45.039 --> 00:27:47.519
It is not regulating your nervous system.
00:27:47.599 --> 00:27:50.799
It's not about achieving some perfect state of constant regulation.
00:27:51.200 --> 00:27:54.720
Life is always going to include challenges and stressors.
00:27:55.039 --> 00:28:00.079
Being a messy human in a messy human world means that you will experience overwhelm.
00:28:00.319 --> 00:28:03.200
You will experience activation and shutdown in doses.
00:28:03.440 --> 00:28:05.359
We just don't want to live there anymore.
00:28:05.680 --> 00:28:16.000
The key to all of this is to become more aware of your unique nervous systems signals and to learn what tools and what approach is best for you.
00:28:16.400 --> 00:28:28.799
The goal of this work is to build resilience and flexibility and a baseline of regulation that allows you to navigate life's ups and downs without getting stuck in chronic survival mode.
00:28:29.279 --> 00:28:38.480
And as we wrap up this series, I want to leave you with what I believe is the true invitation of this healing approach.
00:28:38.720 --> 00:28:43.920
And what this is all about, it's about coming home to yourself.
00:28:44.720 --> 00:28:48.480
It is a better, more whole way of healing.
00:28:49.519 --> 00:28:59.599
When we live in chronic states of anxiety or depression, we are living feeling disconnected from ourselves.
00:28:59.759 --> 00:29:04.960
We lose touch with what we actually want, what we need, what we value, who we are.
00:29:05.759 --> 00:29:10.640
We operate from survival patterns rather than authentic choice.
00:29:11.200 --> 00:29:19.519
We may even forget what it feels like to feel like ourselves, to feel good in our own skin.
00:29:19.920 --> 00:29:26.799
The journey of healing through a nervous system lens is ultimately about reclaiming that sense of connection.
00:29:26.960 --> 00:29:42.559
It's about creating enough safety in your system and in your everyday life so that you can feel like you're actually living and not just surviving, so that you can feel like yourself or discover who yourself is.
00:29:43.039 --> 00:29:49.599
It is where you are able to access your inner wisdom, your inner knowing, creativity, joy, and resilience.
00:29:50.000 --> 00:29:57.519
This is about cultivating and remembering who you are beneath the protective patterns and survival strategies.
00:29:57.759 --> 00:30:00.640
And this work isn't, it's not always easy.
00:30:00.799 --> 00:30:03.119
And it rarely follows a straight line.
00:30:03.359 --> 00:30:08.480
Like I mentioned, there's going to be days that feel like progress and days that feel like challenges or steps back.
00:30:09.279 --> 00:30:11.839
And it's all part of it.
00:30:12.640 --> 00:30:14.480
You are not broken.
00:30:15.359 --> 00:30:17.759
Your symptoms make sense.
00:30:18.079 --> 00:30:22.000
And my promise to you is that healing is possible.
00:30:22.480 --> 00:30:27.039
And as we conclude this back to the basics series, there are three main takeaways.
00:30:27.200 --> 00:30:29.119
Number one, a whole human approach.
00:30:29.359 --> 00:30:31.359
Number two, your symptoms make sense.
00:30:31.519 --> 00:30:34.799
And number three, there is a strategic path forward.
00:30:35.039 --> 00:30:46.240
And I'm going to take just a few moments to elaborate on what I mean by each of these, but also offer one to two reflection questions with each for you to think about or journal about.
00:30:46.400 --> 00:30:58.400
Like I said, I wanted this conversation to be as much about a review as is a roadmap of how you can take what you have learned in this series and apply it to your healing.
00:30:58.640 --> 00:31:03.839
Takeaway number one: a whole human approach.
00:31:04.079 --> 00:31:10.160
Acknowledging that true healing comes from integrating both physiological and the psychological.
00:31:10.880 --> 00:31:19.279
An approach that explores and acknowledges how your body, your mind, relationships, and environments, your past, your present are all interconnected.
00:31:19.680 --> 00:31:31.759
Understanding the interplay between your nervous system, stress bucket, reactive, proactive regulation creates a comprehensive framework for healing that honors your unique experiences and needs.
00:31:32.079 --> 00:31:48.240
And so if you've been feeling stuck in your healing, consider asking yourself or reflecting on which areas of my life, physical, mental, relational, environmental, feels most neglected in my current healing approach?
00:31:48.480 --> 00:31:52.160
What small steps can I take to address that?
00:31:52.400 --> 00:31:55.839
That can be a really profound question to give an honest answer to.
00:31:56.079 --> 00:32:00.079
Takeaway number two is that your symptoms likely make sense.
00:32:00.400 --> 00:32:06.799
Your symptoms likely make perfect sense given your past lived experiences and your current life circumstances.
00:32:07.039 --> 00:32:08.960
Your symptoms are not signs of brokenness.
00:32:09.039 --> 00:32:10.319
They're not here to annoy you.
00:32:10.400 --> 00:32:14.960
They are messages from your system, a system that is trying to protect you.
00:32:15.279 --> 00:32:24.640
And understanding this can help you shift from self-blame to self-compassion, which is where safety and true healing exists.
00:32:24.960 --> 00:32:30.240
A system stuck in survival mode and self-blame is not a flexible system that's very willing to change.
00:32:30.480 --> 00:32:43.119
And so maybe taking some time to think about or journal, asking yourself this question of how might my perspective shift if I approach my symptoms with curiosity rather than judgment?
00:32:43.440 --> 00:32:50.079
How might my perspective shift if I start asking what happened to me instead of what's wrong with me?
00:32:50.480 --> 00:33:07.200
If I were able to apply this equation as truth, that the current state of my nervous system makes sense, equals my past lived experience and current life circumstances, what is one key insight that I gain about why I might be struggling in the way that I am?
00:33:07.680 --> 00:33:13.039
Then takeaway number three is that there is a strategic path forward.
00:33:13.440 --> 00:33:23.920
Real healing comes from this balanced approach that includes both in-the-moment tools and deeper proactive change that addresses the root cause of dysregulation physiologically and psychologically.
00:33:24.480 --> 00:33:39.039
The journey of healing viewed through a nervous system lens is ultimately about reconnecting with your authentic self, accessing these inner resources, cultivating more of them, and creating a life where you feel safe, resilient, and whole.
00:33:39.279 --> 00:33:49.039
And so asking yourself, what's one reactive tool that I can practice this week when I notice dysregulation?
00:33:49.279 --> 00:33:56.640
And then what's one proactive change I feel ready to explore to address some of the weight in my stress bucket?
00:33:57.920 --> 00:34:09.280
And then a second bonus question here that I think can be a really beautiful experience can also be one that comes with a lot of grief or heaviness.
00:34:09.599 --> 00:34:15.199
But to take some time to ask, what does coming home to myself mean?
00:34:15.760 --> 00:34:23.760
And what is one small practice or action that I could incorporate today to cultivate a stronger connection with myself?
00:34:24.800 --> 00:34:32.079
These questions might be something that you feel ready and prepared to sit with and journal with.
00:34:32.159 --> 00:34:38.159
These are questions you might want to take and explore with a provider or practitioner that you're already working with.
00:34:38.400 --> 00:34:48.960
But my promise to you is that there are answers to these questions that will shine lights into areas of healing that could be meaningful and help move you forward.
00:34:49.920 --> 00:34:56.159
Thank you so much for joining with me for this series, for sticking with me through to the end of this series.
00:34:56.400 --> 00:35:16.559
Whether you have been with this podcast from the beginning or if these back to the basic episodes were your introduction, I am endlessly grateful for the opportunity to share these concepts with you, for the opportunities I get to connect with so many of you through Instagram DMs or email messages, discovery calls.
00:35:16.800 --> 00:35:28.400
And my deepest hope is that each one of these episodes that they offer you not just information, but a renewed sense of hope and possibility for your healing.
00:35:29.199 --> 00:35:34.880
And as always, friend, until next time, I am sending so much hope and healing your way.
