WEBVTT
00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:03.020
Part of optimizing is doing the right things
00:00:03.020 --> 00:00:06.700
for the right reasons and identifying those small
00:00:06.700 --> 00:00:09.419
things that are causing us to do the right things
00:00:09.419 --> 00:00:12.259
for the wrong reasons and replacing those wrong
00:00:12.259 --> 00:00:15.259
reasons with better reasons. And that's just
00:00:15.259 --> 00:00:17.879
the path of maturity and identifying where things
00:00:17.879 --> 00:00:22.699
like fear, doubt, anxiety, ego, pride are fueling
00:00:22.699 --> 00:00:25.899
things versus the desire for growth, longevity,
00:00:26.019 --> 00:00:28.100
and being a good steward with what you've been
00:00:28.100 --> 00:00:33.009
given. Welcome to the Optimizing Beyond podcast.
00:00:33.450 --> 00:00:36.009
I'm Josh Negron, and this show is all about sharing
00:00:36.009 --> 00:00:39.729
lessons, ideas, and strategies that sharpen your
00:00:39.729 --> 00:00:42.590
thinking, strengthen your habits, and push you
00:00:42.590 --> 00:00:45.670
to grow beyond comfort zones. Let's dive in.
00:00:49.729 --> 00:00:52.210
Welcome back to the show. Today I want to talk
00:00:52.210 --> 00:00:55.750
about when discipline can become a cage. What
00:00:55.750 --> 00:00:58.770
happens when the very habits that built you start
00:00:58.770 --> 00:01:01.149
to imprison you? What happens when that really
00:01:01.149 --> 00:01:03.890
good habit stops being a tool for growth and
00:01:03.890 --> 00:01:06.609
starts to be a metric driven by fear or other
00:01:06.609 --> 00:01:08.689
negative emotions? Now, anyone that's known me
00:01:08.689 --> 00:01:10.950
for a significant period of time knows that I
00:01:10.950 --> 00:01:13.189
have a lot of discipline and I have for a lot
00:01:13.189 --> 00:01:15.769
of years, but that doesn't always mean that that
00:01:15.769 --> 00:01:19.030
discipline had the cleanest fuels and sources
00:01:19.030 --> 00:01:21.239
of motivation. We've talked about on previous
00:01:21.239 --> 00:01:24.260
episodes how perfectionism or fear of failure
00:01:24.260 --> 00:01:26.700
or things like that can be things that propel
00:01:26.700 --> 00:01:29.659
you forward but aren't always the cleanest fuels
00:01:29.659 --> 00:01:32.439
in order to do so, especially long term. So today
00:01:32.439 --> 00:01:35.439
I'd like to talk through that tension of you're
00:01:35.439 --> 00:01:37.219
proud that you've built these habits, you're
00:01:37.219 --> 00:01:39.340
building streaks, and you're really making progress.
00:01:39.480 --> 00:01:41.579
Your momentum seems to be going really, really
00:01:41.579 --> 00:01:44.849
well, and yet... It's helpful to start discerning
00:01:44.849 --> 00:01:47.829
whether or not these habits are truly propelling
00:01:47.829 --> 00:01:50.530
you forward in the best way, especially long
00:01:50.530 --> 00:01:53.290
-term, to identify habits that maybe have run
00:01:53.290 --> 00:01:55.430
their course and maybe need to be replaced by
00:01:55.430 --> 00:01:59.030
something else, or finding pure sources of motivation.
00:01:59.719 --> 00:02:01.599
to keep going. Now, I'll start straight up by
00:02:01.599 --> 00:02:04.099
telling you one of mine that was a challenge
00:02:04.099 --> 00:02:06.640
for many, many years. Now, I've been working
00:02:06.640 --> 00:02:09.099
out in the gym for over 20 years. That was a
00:02:09.099 --> 00:02:12.520
discipline that I built and was an immovable
00:02:12.520 --> 00:02:15.479
routine for me for a long time. And I was really
00:02:15.479 --> 00:02:17.180
proud of that. And through that discipline, a
00:02:17.180 --> 00:02:20.039
lot of amazing things happened. However, I was
00:02:20.039 --> 00:02:22.759
always willing to sacrifice anything, especially
00:02:22.759 --> 00:02:25.719
sleep, in order to wake up early and get that
00:02:25.719 --> 00:02:28.500
workout in, no matter what. If I had a late night
00:02:28.500 --> 00:02:31.280
flight, Maybe got some delays, got in at 1 a
00:02:31.280 --> 00:02:33.759
.m., 2 a .m. Guess what? I was still waking up.
00:02:33.759 --> 00:02:36.479
I was still working out. And so I operated like
00:02:36.479 --> 00:02:39.379
that for many years, over a decade. And that
00:02:39.379 --> 00:02:41.979
became a source of pride for me that I never
00:02:41.979 --> 00:02:44.939
missed and workouts were never something I sacrificed.
00:02:45.180 --> 00:02:48.280
And maybe at a certain point in my life, that
00:02:48.280 --> 00:02:50.800
had value. Maybe it was a way to show myself
00:02:50.800 --> 00:02:53.139
that I was capable of executing at a high level
00:02:53.139 --> 00:02:55.580
for a long time. But like I said, back then,
00:02:55.599 --> 00:02:58.129
there were things in the way. things like perfectionism,
00:02:58.210 --> 00:03:00.629
fear of failure, fear of backsliding. And those
00:03:00.629 --> 00:03:02.969
were things that I just wasn't willing to compromise
00:03:02.969 --> 00:03:06.210
for anything, even other good things like sleep
00:03:06.210 --> 00:03:08.110
especially. And you can kind of think about that
00:03:08.110 --> 00:03:11.830
like over -indexing on a single metric, obsessing
00:03:11.830 --> 00:03:14.750
over one thing at the cost of everything else.
00:03:14.949 --> 00:03:16.810
I have some friends that have recently got into
00:03:16.810 --> 00:03:19.009
fitness and getting their health on track. And
00:03:19.009 --> 00:03:21.430
between work and family time, they're finding
00:03:21.430 --> 00:03:24.689
it hard to fit in their workouts in a way that
00:03:24.689 --> 00:03:27.080
it doesn't disrupt their sleep. schedule, but
00:03:27.080 --> 00:03:29.780
also disrupt family time. It's not ever been
00:03:29.780 --> 00:03:31.419
something that they've had to make time for.
00:03:31.520 --> 00:03:35.280
So that significant 45 minutes, probably more
00:03:35.280 --> 00:03:37.180
like an hour, whether you do it in the morning
00:03:37.180 --> 00:03:38.979
or the evening, it's cutting into something.
00:03:39.080 --> 00:03:41.159
You're having to sacrifice something. And it's
00:03:41.159 --> 00:03:43.080
been cool helping them navigate the different
00:03:43.080 --> 00:03:44.919
options, the different ways they can organize
00:03:44.919 --> 00:03:47.740
their schedule to really think through what they're
00:03:47.740 --> 00:03:50.080
wanting to sacrifice and what is more worth it
00:03:50.080 --> 00:03:53.319
to give up. in order to accomplish this habit.
00:03:53.460 --> 00:03:55.620
And one of my mentors, when she was getting into
00:03:55.620 --> 00:03:58.080
shape, had a trainer that told her that if she
00:03:58.080 --> 00:03:59.900
didn't get a certain amount of sleep per night,
00:03:59.979 --> 00:04:02.560
that she wasn't allowed to work out the following
00:04:02.560 --> 00:04:04.840
day. And that was an interesting approach. That
00:04:04.840 --> 00:04:06.919
really caught my ear and I was like, man, I don't
00:04:06.919 --> 00:04:09.319
know if I've ever thought of it that way. And
00:04:09.319 --> 00:04:11.719
their whole point was that if you don't get enough
00:04:11.719 --> 00:04:14.360
sleep, then the gains that you're trying to get
00:04:14.360 --> 00:04:16.540
are really not gonna be fully realized because
00:04:16.540 --> 00:04:19.399
you're not fully optimizing the single thing
00:04:19.399 --> 00:04:22.899
that your body uses. to recover, to be at peak
00:04:22.899 --> 00:04:26.459
functionality for a workout. So arguably, you
00:04:26.459 --> 00:04:28.339
won't be able to perform at your best in the
00:04:28.339 --> 00:04:31.860
workout that day anyway. And then if you're continually
00:04:31.860 --> 00:04:34.259
not sleeping well, then you're not going to recover
00:04:34.259 --> 00:04:37.199
after that workout very well either. So at some
00:04:37.199 --> 00:04:39.800
point, you have to reset. So get that sleep,
00:04:39.920 --> 00:04:42.100
then you can work out. And so that was a real
00:04:42.100 --> 00:04:45.600
good James Clear habit stacking technique from
00:04:45.600 --> 00:04:47.860
Atomic Habits that I thought was really interesting
00:04:47.860 --> 00:04:50.300
that caught my attention. And lastly, I had a
00:04:50.300 --> 00:04:54.240
friend who was really proud of their streak.
00:04:54.420 --> 00:04:57.079
They were really crushing their habit, really
00:04:57.079 --> 00:05:00.360
doing extremely well. And at some point, they
00:05:00.360 --> 00:05:03.079
ran into some challenges, you know, with travel
00:05:03.079 --> 00:05:05.600
and some other things. And it was like extremely
00:05:05.600 --> 00:05:08.680
disruptive to their life to keep that habit going
00:05:08.680 --> 00:05:11.060
rather than just skip a day. And when you're
00:05:11.060 --> 00:05:12.899
obsessive about it, you're like, no, I'm not
00:05:12.899 --> 00:05:14.459
giving it up. I'm not going to lose a streak.
00:05:14.620 --> 00:05:17.100
And that person was challenged by their trainer
00:05:17.100 --> 00:05:19.920
of like, hey, this seems like it's a little bit
00:05:19.920 --> 00:05:24.000
more tied to ego and your ability to communicate
00:05:24.000 --> 00:05:26.620
or maybe even brag about this accomplishment.
00:05:26.680 --> 00:05:29.689
And if you miss a day, then... you seem to really
00:05:29.689 --> 00:05:32.769
be associating your inability to continue that,
00:05:32.769 --> 00:05:35.389
that way you view yourself and your ability to
00:05:35.389 --> 00:05:37.790
talk about it. And so that was the first time
00:05:37.790 --> 00:05:41.129
that I had considered that ego was potentially
00:05:41.129 --> 00:05:44.689
a part of streaks and keeping a habit going then
00:05:44.689 --> 00:05:47.310
that maybe has run its course or maybe needs
00:05:47.310 --> 00:05:50.300
to be adjusted. Now, lastly, there's other instances,
00:05:50.399 --> 00:05:52.180
and I think we've all experienced this, where
00:05:52.180 --> 00:05:54.879
we download an app. So many apps are gamified
00:05:54.879 --> 00:05:56.839
these days. So they want you to get in there.
00:05:56.899 --> 00:05:58.660
They want you to interact with the app. They
00:05:58.660 --> 00:06:01.220
build daily streaks and all this stuff. And so
00:06:01.220 --> 00:06:04.500
at some point you get more attached to, oh man,
00:06:04.639 --> 00:06:08.240
I need to do the thing rather than actually track
00:06:08.240 --> 00:06:10.920
it. And this example was for water. So I had
00:06:10.920 --> 00:06:13.680
already shared in previous episodes how years
00:06:13.680 --> 00:06:16.319
ago I wasn't getting enough water in my daily
00:06:16.319 --> 00:06:19.129
intake and Trey Frizz. be a dear friend, kindly
00:06:19.129 --> 00:06:21.329
pointed out to me that, hey, you do everything
00:06:21.329 --> 00:06:24.569
else so well, but you don't drink nearly enough
00:06:24.569 --> 00:06:28.250
water, and that is a huge shame. You're leaving
00:06:28.250 --> 00:06:31.310
a ton on the table. And so I got my water under
00:06:31.310 --> 00:06:33.970
control. I used an app to track it, to hold me
00:06:33.970 --> 00:06:36.449
accountable and do it. But after a certain amount
00:06:36.449 --> 00:06:39.250
of time, I had gotten in the rhythm of drinking
00:06:39.250 --> 00:06:41.730
the right amount of fluids per day, and I didn't
00:06:41.730 --> 00:06:43.850
need the app anymore. But I had built such a
00:06:43.850 --> 00:06:46.589
significant streak that it annoyed me to not
00:06:46.589 --> 00:06:50.000
keep it going. And so sometimes if I missed entering
00:06:50.000 --> 00:06:52.759
it in the app, but I knew I drank enough water,
00:06:52.920 --> 00:06:55.839
that shouldn't matter. But I would go back maybe
00:06:55.839 --> 00:06:59.399
even one to two days and fill in that info just
00:06:59.399 --> 00:07:01.839
so I could keep the streak alive. I never cheated,
00:07:01.980 --> 00:07:04.540
but I did have to go back and fill it in. That
00:07:04.540 --> 00:07:07.000
doesn't matter. That's dumb. And so that told
00:07:07.000 --> 00:07:09.720
me something's wrong here. I'm more obsessed
00:07:09.720 --> 00:07:12.180
with the streak than I am the actual habit. The
00:07:12.180 --> 00:07:14.629
habit is what I was trying to build. And yet
00:07:14.629 --> 00:07:17.310
I got fixated on a stupid streak in an app that
00:07:17.310 --> 00:07:20.310
nobody ever sees except me. This is dumb. Good
00:07:20.310 --> 00:07:22.350
news, I don't track that anymore in the app.
00:07:22.449 --> 00:07:25.110
But I've kept the habit going. Yay. Progress,
00:07:25.389 --> 00:07:28.430
you know? So all in all, it boils down to true
00:07:28.430 --> 00:07:31.430
optimization isn't about having flawless metrics.
00:07:31.670 --> 00:07:34.629
It's about being a good steward and building
00:07:34.629 --> 00:07:37.209
these habits to better your life. That's the
00:07:37.209 --> 00:07:40.110
whole point. That's the only reason to optimize
00:07:40.110 --> 00:07:43.310
in reality. And I liken it to this, doing the
00:07:43.310 --> 00:07:46.829
right thing for the wrong reasons versus doing
00:07:46.829 --> 00:07:49.629
the right thing for the right reasons. Now, like
00:07:49.629 --> 00:07:52.930
I said earlier, using those potentially unclean
00:07:52.930 --> 00:07:56.290
fuels to do good things, Hey, I get it. We all
00:07:56.290 --> 00:07:59.689
do it. But that isn't optimal. So part of optimizing
00:07:59.689 --> 00:08:03.290
is doing the right things for the right reasons
00:08:03.290 --> 00:08:06.670
and identifying those small things that are causing
00:08:06.670 --> 00:08:09.050
us to do the right things for the wrong reasons
00:08:09.050 --> 00:08:12.410
and replacing those wrong reasons with better
00:08:12.410 --> 00:08:15.550
reasons. That's just the path of maturity and
00:08:15.550 --> 00:08:18.910
identifying where things like fear, doubt, anxiety,
00:08:19.389 --> 00:08:23.490
ego, pride are fueling things versus the desire
00:08:23.490 --> 00:08:26.389
for growth, longevity, and being a good steward
00:08:26.389 --> 00:08:28.290
with what you've been given and building on top
00:08:28.290 --> 00:08:30.490
of that. Now, am I saying that streaks are bad?
00:08:30.730 --> 00:08:34.720
Obviously, no. Streaks are psychologically helpful
00:08:34.720 --> 00:08:37.679
to motivate us to change. This is the obvious
00:08:37.679 --> 00:08:41.259
reason why gamification uses streaks in order
00:08:41.259 --> 00:08:44.519
to get the action that they want out of consumers,
00:08:44.879 --> 00:08:47.860
guests, customers, and those that are engaging.
00:08:48.059 --> 00:08:50.299
That's why algorithms serve you what you want
00:08:50.299 --> 00:08:52.899
to see, what you want to hear. And why ads target
00:08:52.899 --> 00:08:55.240
you specifically on things that they think you
00:08:55.240 --> 00:08:57.399
might be interested in, because that drives up
00:08:57.399 --> 00:08:59.679
engagement and gets them what they want, but
00:08:59.679 --> 00:09:03.080
also gets you what you might want. And so in
00:09:03.080 --> 00:09:05.000
their view, it's kind of a win -win for everyone.
00:09:05.200 --> 00:09:07.639
Now, like I said, streaks can be extremely useful
00:09:07.639 --> 00:09:10.759
for beginners, especially when they want to get
00:09:10.759 --> 00:09:13.379
started with something. And that streak mentality
00:09:13.379 --> 00:09:16.659
can help them get the plane off the ground and
00:09:16.659 --> 00:09:19.059
really get into flight. building that habit,
00:09:19.220 --> 00:09:22.639
getting into 62 days, 93 days, those kinds of
00:09:22.639 --> 00:09:24.500
things, getting into those thresholds two or
00:09:24.500 --> 00:09:26.799
three months, getting that habit built to where
00:09:26.799 --> 00:09:29.600
it's easier to do than to not do. But I would
00:09:29.600 --> 00:09:31.539
say to you, if it's something that you've been
00:09:31.539 --> 00:09:34.500
doing for a significantly generous amount of
00:09:34.500 --> 00:09:36.759
time, you've built up that streak, it costs you
00:09:36.759 --> 00:09:38.559
nothing to take an inventory, to ask yourself
00:09:38.559 --> 00:09:41.419
some questions. How much is ego involved in this?
00:09:41.600 --> 00:09:43.679
Is that more of the reason you're doing this
00:09:43.679 --> 00:09:47.179
than the actual task or habit? And is the habit
00:09:47.179 --> 00:09:50.340
still effective where you are today? Because
00:09:50.340 --> 00:09:52.460
like I said, sometimes you just need to let something
00:09:52.460 --> 00:09:55.720
go. Now, I'm still drinking all the water that
00:09:55.720 --> 00:09:58.039
I was when I was tracking. I'm just not tracking
00:09:58.039 --> 00:10:00.360
it anymore because I got in the habit of knowing
00:10:00.360 --> 00:10:02.679
what I need to drink when to hit my targets.
00:10:02.840 --> 00:10:05.639
So there's no need to measure it daily. Other
00:10:05.639 --> 00:10:08.159
things, I've let sunset. I'm like, hey, this
00:10:08.159 --> 00:10:11.519
habit served its purpose for this time. And now
00:10:11.519 --> 00:10:14.139
I'm not really getting the ROI that I used to
00:10:14.139 --> 00:10:16.779
out of it. And I don't need to feel obligated
00:10:16.779 --> 00:10:19.759
to do it anymore just to maintain some ROI. arbitrary
00:10:19.759 --> 00:10:22.259
streak. And if you give something up, then you
00:10:22.259 --> 00:10:24.419
have the opportunity to fit something else in
00:10:24.419 --> 00:10:26.679
that might serve you better at this stage. I
00:10:26.679 --> 00:10:29.840
find also that early on in people's journey of
00:10:29.840 --> 00:10:32.179
optimizing their lives, they might still have
00:10:32.179 --> 00:10:35.840
a lot of negative fuel, fear, doubt, anxiety,
00:10:36.019 --> 00:10:38.059
and those kinds of things. And those things can
00:10:38.059 --> 00:10:41.259
have some really adverse effects on people when
00:10:41.259 --> 00:10:44.779
they do miss and break the streak. And so I think
00:10:44.779 --> 00:10:47.720
we do need to be honest with The fact that sometimes,
00:10:47.919 --> 00:10:50.220
depending on where you're at and where you're
00:10:50.220 --> 00:10:52.259
at with your self -talk, with the way you view
00:10:52.259 --> 00:10:55.279
yourself, your measure of shame, like how much
00:10:55.279 --> 00:10:57.860
you've got going on and how much of those negative
00:10:57.860 --> 00:11:01.519
emotions are present in all this, that also needs
00:11:01.519 --> 00:11:04.480
to be considered in this conversation. Because
00:11:04.480 --> 00:11:07.570
for those people... that have high negative energy
00:11:07.570 --> 00:11:10.169
of all those things, shame maybe is high, maybe
00:11:10.169 --> 00:11:12.610
self -worth is low, maybe you have a high degree
00:11:12.610 --> 00:11:15.409
of negative self -talk and are not a huge fan
00:11:15.409 --> 00:11:18.009
of yourself, those kinds of things can really
00:11:18.009 --> 00:11:21.409
explode when you break a streak. I've witnessed
00:11:21.409 --> 00:11:23.970
people who've been doing really good with fitness
00:11:23.970 --> 00:11:26.870
or eating or both, and then they miss one day,
00:11:26.929 --> 00:11:29.429
and then it causes this landslide of, well, I
00:11:29.429 --> 00:11:31.570
missed once, what the heck, what does it matter?
00:11:31.850 --> 00:11:34.289
And then they backslide for a week, maybe a month,
00:11:34.330 --> 00:11:36.600
and maybe even more. all because of one day.
00:11:36.860 --> 00:11:39.059
So in this inventory, it's important to note,
00:11:39.120 --> 00:11:41.519
let's bookmark that in there, to assess where
00:11:41.519 --> 00:11:44.340
you're at. And if you're currently free from
00:11:44.340 --> 00:11:47.080
a significant amount of negative emotion, to
00:11:47.080 --> 00:11:49.899
be able to make those kinds of discernments in
00:11:49.899 --> 00:11:53.200
order to decide how you will be affected by leaving
00:11:53.200 --> 00:11:55.340
that streak behind. And this is that layer of
00:11:55.340 --> 00:11:57.399
optimization, of looking, seeing where you're
00:11:57.399 --> 00:11:59.259
at, and seeing where you can push the envelope
00:11:59.259 --> 00:12:01.509
safely. Because we're looking for opportunities
00:12:01.509 --> 00:12:04.570
where maybe certain disciplines are actually
00:12:04.570 --> 00:12:07.370
overriding actual optimization. Like I said,
00:12:07.409 --> 00:12:09.450
maybe they've run their course. Maybe our fuels
00:12:09.450 --> 00:12:11.809
and our sources of motivation are not as pure.
00:12:11.950 --> 00:12:14.889
Is there a way that we can replace some of those
00:12:14.889 --> 00:12:17.549
one at a time to give us some cleaner momentum
00:12:17.549 --> 00:12:19.370
to move forward? Those are all things that I
00:12:19.370 --> 00:12:20.850
would encourage you to think through. Because
00:12:20.850 --> 00:12:23.730
just like my water tracking app, even just a
00:12:23.730 --> 00:12:27.149
year or two ago, that system launched me into
00:12:27.149 --> 00:12:29.730
building a good habit. But at some point, point
00:12:29.730 --> 00:12:32.809
it crossed over to the system managing me instead
00:12:32.809 --> 00:12:35.250
of me managing the system. And I decided, no,
00:12:35.370 --> 00:12:37.629
I don't need this. It's all good. I've got the
00:12:37.629 --> 00:12:39.970
habit established. I can free from this streak
00:12:39.970 --> 00:12:43.610
from this app. I can release it and not be annoyed
00:12:43.610 --> 00:12:46.149
that it no longer exists. And on that conversation
00:12:46.149 --> 00:12:49.169
of our motivators, I do think it's important
00:12:49.169 --> 00:12:51.649
to make an assessment on the things that are
00:12:51.649 --> 00:12:54.090
motivating and pushing you. Like I said, negative
00:12:54.090 --> 00:12:56.850
emotions can be extremely powerful in motivating
00:12:56.850 --> 00:13:00.309
us to do incredible things. There are world champions,
00:13:00.570 --> 00:13:04.090
Olympic gold winners that achieve greatness.
00:13:04.750 --> 00:13:07.730
And then when asked what fueled them to be the
00:13:07.730 --> 00:13:11.389
elite, the 1%, the ones that made it to the pinnacle.
00:13:11.529 --> 00:13:14.190
And sometimes it's, I had a teacher that said
00:13:14.190 --> 00:13:17.509
I would never amount to anything. Oh, snap. I
00:13:17.509 --> 00:13:20.250
would say to a certain degree, that's a negative
00:13:20.250 --> 00:13:23.429
motivator. So in the good, better, best hierarchy,
00:13:23.789 --> 00:13:26.190
I always encourage people to make considerations
00:13:26.190 --> 00:13:28.769
in the choices that they're making. Is this good,
00:13:28.929 --> 00:13:31.590
better, or is it best? And that's a great thing
00:13:31.590 --> 00:13:33.970
to reflect on when you're making a lot of different
00:13:33.970 --> 00:13:36.289
choices. And so when you look at your motivators,
00:13:36.350 --> 00:13:39.250
what is pushing you to do certain things? What's
00:13:39.250 --> 00:13:40.769
pushing you to work out? What's pushing you to
00:13:40.769 --> 00:13:42.690
sleep well? What's pushing you to do all these
00:13:42.690 --> 00:13:44.409
different things? What's pushing you to perform
00:13:44.409 --> 00:13:46.809
at work? If you're a top performer, that's awesome.
00:13:46.950 --> 00:13:49.990
But if your fuel is you need to perform in order
00:13:49.990 --> 00:13:52.929
to feel appreciated, to feel like you're worth
00:13:52.929 --> 00:13:55.110
something, and that's the only time you feel
00:13:55.110 --> 00:13:59.929
alive. That is an opportunity for optimization.
00:14:00.070 --> 00:14:03.269
Again, you're a high performer, you're a successful
00:14:03.269 --> 00:14:06.110
person, but your fulfillment formula is going
00:14:06.110 --> 00:14:09.769
to be incomplete. And even achieving the results
00:14:09.769 --> 00:14:12.289
that you should be proud of are going to carry
00:14:12.289 --> 00:14:16.009
some things in there that I think words aren't
00:14:16.009 --> 00:14:18.549
adequate to describe. And if you are challenged
00:14:18.549 --> 00:14:20.509
by this, I think you know what I mean. And I
00:14:20.509 --> 00:14:23.450
think part of that is the source of fuel of that
00:14:23.450 --> 00:14:25.970
motivation and identifying what are the things
00:14:25.970 --> 00:14:28.490
that are driving you that are potentially not
00:14:28.490 --> 00:14:30.669
the cleanest sources of fuel. And we've talked
00:14:30.669 --> 00:14:33.070
about in previous episodes how to address things
00:14:33.070 --> 00:14:35.470
like negative self -talk. So I won't cover them
00:14:35.470 --> 00:14:37.710
in detail here, but go back and review those.
00:14:37.750 --> 00:14:39.830
I'll have those linked. And like I say, we're
00:14:39.830 --> 00:14:42.549
not ever going for the whole enchilada every
00:14:42.549 --> 00:14:45.309
single time. So when you identify certain things,
00:14:45.710 --> 00:14:47.149
You're like, man, I've got a lot of fear. I've
00:14:47.149 --> 00:14:49.269
got a lot of doubt. I got a lot of anxiety. I
00:14:49.269 --> 00:14:51.190
don't know how to tackle all of that. That would
00:14:51.190 --> 00:14:52.929
never be anything that I would tell you to do
00:14:52.929 --> 00:14:55.110
all at once. So you'd want to take some inventory
00:14:55.110 --> 00:14:57.970
of those things and ask yourself, which lie,
00:14:58.129 --> 00:15:00.919
which false belief can you address first? and
00:15:00.919 --> 00:15:03.320
start replacing that with truths. Is it negative
00:15:03.320 --> 00:15:05.659
self -talk? Can you try to reverse engineer that
00:15:05.659 --> 00:15:07.840
like we've discussed in previous episodes? And
00:15:07.840 --> 00:15:10.259
take those steps necessary to start replacing
00:15:10.259 --> 00:15:12.840
that fuel with a cleaner one so that you can
00:15:12.840 --> 00:15:15.039
continue on with the habits, with the production,
00:15:15.200 --> 00:15:17.440
with the success that you may be already having,
00:15:17.480 --> 00:15:20.519
even if the momentum stays the same, which is
00:15:20.519 --> 00:15:22.899
unlikely, honestly. I think your momentum will
00:15:22.899 --> 00:15:25.299
increase. However, even if it stays the same,
00:15:25.710 --> 00:15:27.649
Your level of satisfaction with your results
00:15:27.649 --> 00:15:30.169
and your view of self will only improve in that
00:15:30.169 --> 00:15:32.830
scenario, which again, I would argue, will increase
00:15:32.830 --> 00:15:35.309
your results no matter what. And one of my mentors
00:15:35.309 --> 00:15:39.519
has a saying that assets always adjust. And what
00:15:39.519 --> 00:15:42.580
Danelle means when she says that is that assets
00:15:42.580 --> 00:15:46.120
are always willing to analyze their plan, analyze
00:15:46.120 --> 00:15:49.139
their goal, analyze their trajectory, their mechanisms,
00:15:49.340 --> 00:15:52.120
their strategies, their systems, and always willing
00:15:52.120 --> 00:15:55.139
to tweak as they're inspecting what is going
00:15:55.139 --> 00:15:57.620
on. And when you identify those things and you're
00:15:57.620 --> 00:16:00.879
constantly tweaking, pushing, adjusting, your
00:16:00.879 --> 00:16:03.919
results will be significantly more than if you
00:16:03.919 --> 00:16:07.039
just followed a single plan and made no adjustments
00:16:07.039 --> 00:16:09.629
throughout that same time domain. compared to
00:16:09.629 --> 00:16:11.610
someone making endless adjustments throughout
00:16:11.610 --> 00:16:14.129
that same time frame. So back to my personal
00:16:14.129 --> 00:16:17.529
story on the adjustment of working out at all
00:16:17.529 --> 00:16:20.450
costs. How have I changed that? So I've adopted
00:16:20.450 --> 00:16:23.830
something kind of similar to what my friend's
00:16:23.830 --> 00:16:27.529
trainer was having them do, in that my sleep
00:16:27.529 --> 00:16:31.409
dictates a lot of what I will do workout -wise
00:16:31.409 --> 00:16:34.240
or even morning routine -wise. My morning routine
00:16:34.240 --> 00:16:37.159
used to be untouchable. I would wake up at that
00:16:37.159 --> 00:16:39.220
time no matter what. Feet would hit the ground
00:16:39.220 --> 00:16:41.379
immediately, no snooze. And that was something
00:16:41.379 --> 00:16:43.759
I was really proud of. But when I realized that
00:16:43.759 --> 00:16:46.600
my sleep, getting five hours a night, was not
00:16:46.600 --> 00:16:49.679
the way to build an optimized life, that year
00:16:49.679 --> 00:16:52.500
and a half that I spent dialing in my sleep 30
00:16:52.500 --> 00:16:55.899
minutes at a time in six -month blocks, I knew
00:16:55.899 --> 00:16:58.480
that in certain cases, in order to keep that
00:16:58.480 --> 00:17:01.600
consistency increasing over time, that I was
00:17:01.600 --> 00:17:03.759
going to be challenged with, late nights and
00:17:03.759 --> 00:17:05.960
things that I couldn't avoid, whether it's travel,
00:17:06.180 --> 00:17:08.980
you know, flight delays, or even just those single
00:17:08.980 --> 00:17:11.039
events where you're like, well, this person's
00:17:11.039 --> 00:17:13.079
only going to graduate once and I have to be
00:17:13.079 --> 00:17:14.980
there and then I got to come back home and it's
00:17:14.980 --> 00:17:16.640
going to be late and what am I going to do? There's
00:17:16.640 --> 00:17:19.119
always going to be something that you can't always
00:17:19.119 --> 00:17:21.299
say no to. So then when you're challenged with
00:17:21.299 --> 00:17:24.099
those, what do you do on the back end when you're
00:17:24.099 --> 00:17:27.319
like, well, do I work out or do I get a good
00:17:27.319 --> 00:17:29.099
amount of sleep? Well, when sleep becomes the
00:17:29.099 --> 00:17:31.349
foundation, Of the thing that I was working on
00:17:31.349 --> 00:17:34.309
for those 18 months, sleep went out for the first
00:17:34.309 --> 00:17:36.529
time ever. And it was like, well, it's either
00:17:36.529 --> 00:17:39.069
five hours of sleep or seven. Guess I'm not working
00:17:39.069 --> 00:17:41.410
out tomorrow. So I'd wake up later, do my morning
00:17:41.410 --> 00:17:43.990
routine, not in the morning, probably do it in
00:17:43.990 --> 00:17:46.190
the evening. And that was a huge, huge adjustment.
00:17:46.329 --> 00:17:48.730
And I think that's where the hierarchy of grace
00:17:48.730 --> 00:17:51.940
comes in. And being able to show yourself grace
00:17:51.940 --> 00:17:54.740
and say, hey, especially when you know you're
00:17:54.740 --> 00:17:56.920
doing something for a purpose. And I think that's
00:17:56.920 --> 00:17:59.980
where some people let fear grip them when they're
00:17:59.980 --> 00:18:03.160
like, well, I'm afraid that if I choose to give
00:18:03.160 --> 00:18:05.519
up this habit or this streak and do it willingly,
00:18:05.660 --> 00:18:08.500
but I don't have any sort of structure that I
00:18:08.500 --> 00:18:11.460
could backslide or slip or it's gonna, I'm gonna
00:18:11.460 --> 00:18:13.400
let myself go or whatever. But if you have a
00:18:13.400 --> 00:18:15.720
structured system where it was like, no, I'm
00:18:15.720 --> 00:18:18.059
committing to, initially it was five and a half
00:18:18.059 --> 00:18:20.289
hours of sleep. then it was six, then it was
00:18:20.289 --> 00:18:22.589
six and a half, and then it was seven. And to
00:18:22.589 --> 00:18:25.089
be clear, it's time in bed because you can't
00:18:25.089 --> 00:18:26.829
always control when you're actually sleeping.
00:18:26.970 --> 00:18:29.269
And so when that was my commitment, it was easy
00:18:29.269 --> 00:18:31.890
math. It was like, okay, so I need this amount.
00:18:32.190 --> 00:18:34.069
This is when I'm going to bed. Can I fit it?
00:18:34.150 --> 00:18:36.049
And sometimes it'd be like, well, I'm going to
00:18:36.049 --> 00:18:38.450
do my gratitudes, my devotional later in the
00:18:38.450 --> 00:18:40.730
day. I can still wake up. I still work out. Cool.
00:18:40.890 --> 00:18:43.289
Other times the math just did not work no matter
00:18:43.289 --> 00:18:45.089
how you diced it. And could I work out in the
00:18:45.089 --> 00:18:47.109
evening? Sure. But if that's not something that
00:18:47.109 --> 00:18:49.269
you're used to and you smash a workout in the
00:18:49.269 --> 00:18:51.529
evening and then try to go to sleep, that didn't
00:18:51.529 --> 00:18:53.529
work out very well for me. So I was like doing
00:18:53.529 --> 00:18:55.869
CrossFit an hour before sleep. I don't think
00:18:55.869 --> 00:18:59.049
so. So and in those past years, if I would have
00:18:59.049 --> 00:19:01.089
made that same choice, I didn't have enough grace
00:19:01.089 --> 00:19:04.750
for myself to value sleep enough to be OK with
00:19:04.750 --> 00:19:07.240
missing the workout. And that also applies to
00:19:07.240 --> 00:19:10.259
when trainers and coaches say, listen to your
00:19:10.259 --> 00:19:14.420
body and don't go 100 % if you don't feel well.
00:19:14.599 --> 00:19:17.460
Like, that's just not how I do it forever. And
00:19:17.460 --> 00:19:21.039
so it was like, I would go 150 % no matter what.
00:19:21.119 --> 00:19:24.079
And if my body was not happy with that, then
00:19:24.079 --> 00:19:27.140
it could deal with it later. And so that same
00:19:27.140 --> 00:19:29.539
grace can start to bleed into that where you're
00:19:29.539 --> 00:19:33.200
like, no, I don't have to attach my self -worth
00:19:33.200 --> 00:19:37.339
or anything to my company. Or even, you know,
00:19:37.339 --> 00:19:39.759
the weight that I may have lifted before or how
00:19:39.759 --> 00:19:41.599
I would have performed in a workout previously.
00:19:41.960 --> 00:19:44.799
Sometimes just realizing that weight sometimes
00:19:44.799 --> 00:19:47.880
feels really light and other times half that
00:19:47.880 --> 00:19:50.960
weight feels like a house. That's just how it
00:19:50.960 --> 00:19:53.980
is. Body goes in cycles, hormones cycle and those
00:19:53.980 --> 00:19:56.299
kinds of things. So just realizing, you know,
00:19:56.339 --> 00:19:58.539
I'm just not feeling it today. Other times you're
00:19:58.539 --> 00:20:00.259
like, man, I feel like 100 bucks. I could do
00:20:00.259 --> 00:20:02.640
100 of these. This is great. And also as you
00:20:02.640 --> 00:20:04.900
age, those kinds of things kind of force you
00:20:04.900 --> 00:20:07.700
to adapt your thinking as well. So but having
00:20:07.700 --> 00:20:10.599
that grace is super critical in order to prioritize
00:20:10.599 --> 00:20:13.220
the right things, especially as you're optimizing
00:20:13.220 --> 00:20:15.779
and realizing that at some point I realized that,
00:20:15.839 --> 00:20:18.359
hey, sleep was going to be where I how I was
00:20:18.359 --> 00:20:20.230
going to be able to take this. to the next level
00:20:20.230 --> 00:20:23.490
and keep my health metrics. for longevity where
00:20:23.490 --> 00:20:25.549
they needed to be. I've talked about I'm a whoop
00:20:25.549 --> 00:20:27.890
user. As they keep growing their platform, there's
00:20:27.890 --> 00:20:29.829
all sorts of interesting metrics that they start
00:20:29.829 --> 00:20:32.250
to track. And a lot of these fitness trackers
00:20:32.250 --> 00:20:35.529
now have some sort of like lifespan, like digital
00:20:35.529 --> 00:20:38.150
age component to them. And it's interesting,
00:20:38.269 --> 00:20:41.390
like I don't know how valid or how legit it is,
00:20:41.450 --> 00:20:44.089
but it is interesting to look to see the things
00:20:44.089 --> 00:20:46.470
that I do on a weekly basis. That's how it updates
00:20:46.470 --> 00:20:49.750
on a weekly basis. And sleep is the number one
00:20:49.750 --> 00:20:52.809
thing that affects that. number from speeding
00:20:52.809 --> 00:20:55.549
up or slowing down. And it's the sleep duration
00:20:55.549 --> 00:20:58.650
average, but also the sleep consistency. And
00:20:58.650 --> 00:21:00.509
that one's the one that always gets me because
00:21:00.509 --> 00:21:02.990
it's like if I get the right amount of numbers,
00:21:03.170 --> 00:21:05.529
but it's not always in the same window, that
00:21:05.529 --> 00:21:07.769
fights against me. I'm trying to get those two
00:21:07.769 --> 00:21:10.839
ironed together, but it's not always. the way
00:21:10.839 --> 00:21:12.980
I want it to be. But when I get it dialed in,
00:21:13.119 --> 00:21:16.960
that number has the highest net effect on that
00:21:16.960 --> 00:21:19.380
number more than any of my other metrics, which
00:21:19.380 --> 00:21:21.700
is cool. So in that, I realized what a lot of
00:21:21.700 --> 00:21:23.700
my coaches and trainers have been saying over
00:21:23.700 --> 00:21:25.680
the years of like, listen, the fact that you
00:21:25.680 --> 00:21:28.720
would sacrifice anything, including sleep, and
00:21:28.720 --> 00:21:30.720
you don't drink enough water, but you're wanting
00:21:30.720 --> 00:21:32.539
to give it everything and optimize everything,
00:21:32.779 --> 00:21:34.990
you got some of your priorities mixed up. And
00:21:34.990 --> 00:21:37.430
so that's not optimization. That's really bad
00:21:37.430 --> 00:21:39.970
stewardship. And so I had to listen to that feedback.
00:21:40.049 --> 00:21:41.809
I had to be able to be receptive and be like,
00:21:41.849 --> 00:21:43.549
okay, you know, he's right. Like, how do I get
00:21:43.549 --> 00:21:45.690
this in? And I couldn't tackle both at the same
00:21:45.690 --> 00:21:47.789
time. So I was like, you know what? Water is
00:21:47.789 --> 00:21:50.130
something I think I can do easier than sleep
00:21:50.130 --> 00:21:52.190
because sleep doesn't just affect me. It affects
00:21:52.190 --> 00:21:55.170
a spouse situation as well. And so I was like,
00:21:55.230 --> 00:21:56.829
you know, let me get the water dialed in and
00:21:56.829 --> 00:21:59.049
then I can talk to her and figure out like, hey,
00:21:59.130 --> 00:22:01.359
you know, when. When can we go to bed? Because
00:22:01.359 --> 00:22:03.279
she's kind of more of a night owl. So I'm like,
00:22:03.359 --> 00:22:05.619
hey. And I had to have that conversation. So
00:22:05.619 --> 00:22:08.579
got the water dialed in first, then started addressing
00:22:08.579 --> 00:22:11.259
the sleep. And again, small adjustments. It was
00:22:11.259 --> 00:22:13.740
an 18 -month deal. Having the patience and the
00:22:13.740 --> 00:22:16.720
grace to do that over time, doing it 30 minutes
00:22:16.720 --> 00:22:19.740
at a time, every time I hit that 30 -minute average,
00:22:19.880 --> 00:22:22.400
bumped up, it gave me the confidence to go, OK,
00:22:22.559 --> 00:22:24.799
I mean, we did it 30 minutes. We can scoot it
00:22:24.799 --> 00:22:28.430
to another 15 to... 15 to 30 at the end until
00:22:28.430 --> 00:22:31.009
I reach that next 30 mark and then keep it going.
00:22:31.109 --> 00:22:32.650
And I want to address the elephant in the room
00:22:32.650 --> 00:22:35.470
about grace. I think sometimes the pushback I
00:22:35.470 --> 00:22:38.230
get when I talk about this to people is that
00:22:38.230 --> 00:22:42.170
they are afraid that if they have grace for themselves
00:22:42.170 --> 00:22:45.829
in a habit, in a streak situation or things like
00:22:45.829 --> 00:22:47.769
that, that it's going to become something like
00:22:47.769 --> 00:22:50.970
that it's going to produce laziness or complacency
00:22:50.970 --> 00:22:54.660
or initiate. a backslide scenario. And I would
00:22:54.660 --> 00:22:57.559
say that's all dependent on your purpose and
00:22:57.559 --> 00:22:59.480
your design for what you're doing what you're
00:22:59.480 --> 00:23:02.079
doing. So for me, if there's a reason that I'm
00:23:02.079 --> 00:23:04.900
sacrificing the workout, these days it's going
00:23:04.900 --> 00:23:08.720
to be intentionally sacrificing the workout for
00:23:08.720 --> 00:23:11.599
something more valuable, which in my case most
00:23:11.599 --> 00:23:14.859
often is sleep. In some other cases it might
00:23:14.859 --> 00:23:17.960
be maybe I'm nursing an injury. Maybe I'm going
00:23:17.960 --> 00:23:19.859
into something and going, okay, I don't know
00:23:19.859 --> 00:23:21.880
how this is going to feel. We'll see. The body
00:23:21.880 --> 00:23:25.000
does great. Cool. Just go for it. If it doesn't,
00:23:25.000 --> 00:23:26.740
be like, you know what? Guess I'm not doing that
00:23:26.740 --> 00:23:30.039
today. That's really hard to not be stubborn
00:23:30.039 --> 00:23:32.619
through. And if negative emotions are in the
00:23:32.619 --> 00:23:36.319
way, like ego, pride, that streak, whatever it
00:23:36.319 --> 00:23:38.900
is, then you're doing the right things for the
00:23:38.900 --> 00:23:41.440
wrong reasons. And you could be doing more damage
00:23:41.440 --> 00:23:44.660
than good. And that isn't optimization, my friends.
00:23:44.799 --> 00:23:46.950
So my challenge for you this week. is go through
00:23:46.950 --> 00:23:49.690
a particular habit that you have or maybe want
00:23:49.690 --> 00:23:52.089
to have, especially if there's a streak attached
00:23:52.089 --> 00:23:54.309
to it, and just run it through the friction test.
00:23:54.509 --> 00:23:57.829
Ask questions, maybe ask for some feedback. If
00:23:57.829 --> 00:24:00.430
this is like a gym or nutrition habit, you can
00:24:00.430 --> 00:24:02.349
ask your coaches and trainers. They'll be more
00:24:02.349 --> 00:24:04.750
than willing to give you their perception, especially
00:24:04.750 --> 00:24:06.930
if you give them permission. If they're anything
00:24:06.930 --> 00:24:09.150
like my coaches and trainers. And in some other
00:24:09.150 --> 00:24:11.230
life habits, you can ask your significant other,
00:24:11.390 --> 00:24:13.849
your close friends, and sometimes, if it makes
00:24:13.849 --> 00:24:15.509
sense, sometimes even your kids can give you
00:24:15.509 --> 00:24:17.420
some. feedback on certain things and do that
00:24:17.420 --> 00:24:20.500
inventory on those negative emotions, those sources
00:24:20.500 --> 00:24:22.920
of fuel. Are you doing that habit because you
00:24:22.920 --> 00:24:25.019
really want the benefit of what it provides?
00:24:25.119 --> 00:24:27.160
Or is there something else attached to it, something
00:24:27.160 --> 00:24:29.859
else driving it that needs addressed that would
00:24:29.859 --> 00:24:32.359
benefit you? If you first identified what it
00:24:32.359 --> 00:24:35.079
was, realize that it's there, and then start
00:24:35.079 --> 00:24:37.660
to do some work on figuring out how you can replace
00:24:37.660 --> 00:24:40.039
those with something more constructive and something
00:24:40.039 --> 00:24:43.119
more powerful. And this goes back to why we value
00:24:43.119 --> 00:24:46.299
progress over perfection every day and why daily
00:24:46.299 --> 00:24:49.079
anything really does change everything. And because
00:24:49.079 --> 00:24:51.720
we're doing things daily, we have the ability
00:24:51.720 --> 00:24:55.059
to improve day over day. And you can tweak and
00:24:55.059 --> 00:24:57.940
optimize those things on a daily basis, not a
00:24:57.940 --> 00:25:00.359
monthly one, not a yearly one, but every day.
00:25:00.240 --> 00:25:02.559
single day. So look over a habit this week, see
00:25:02.559 --> 00:25:04.380
what you can adjust, see if there's anything
00:25:04.380 --> 00:25:06.460
that needs to be looked at, adjust, replaced,
00:25:06.579 --> 00:25:08.579
and let me know in the comments. What did you
00:25:08.579 --> 00:25:10.259
discover? Did you find anything? Did you make
00:25:10.259 --> 00:25:13.180
any changes? Did you drop any habit? Are you
00:25:13.180 --> 00:25:15.380
replacing it with another one? I'd love to know.
00:25:15.500 --> 00:25:17.180
But in the meantime, thanks for listening to
00:25:17.180 --> 00:25:19.839
the Optimizing Beyond podcast. Remember, growth
00:25:19.839 --> 00:25:22.200
happens when you take action. So subscribe, share
00:25:22.200 --> 00:25:24.359
this with a friend, and most importantly, put
00:25:24.359 --> 00:25:26.519
what you learned into practice. Until next time,
00:25:26.599 --> 00:25:29.859
keep moving forward because daily anything changes
00:25:29.859 --> 00:25:30.579
everything.
00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:03.020
Part of optimizing is doing the right things
00:00:03.020 --> 00:00:06.700
for the right reasons and identifying those small
00:00:06.700 --> 00:00:09.419
things that are causing us to do the right things
00:00:09.419 --> 00:00:12.259
for the wrong reasons and replacing those wrong
00:00:12.259 --> 00:00:15.259
reasons with better reasons. And that's just
00:00:15.259 --> 00:00:17.879
the path of maturity and identifying where things
00:00:17.879 --> 00:00:22.699
like fear, doubt, anxiety, ego, pride are fueling
00:00:22.699 --> 00:00:25.899
things versus the desire for growth, longevity,
00:00:26.019 --> 00:00:28.100
and being a good steward with what you've been
00:00:28.100 --> 00:00:33.009
given. Welcome to the Optimizing Beyond podcast.
00:00:33.450 --> 00:00:36.009
I'm Josh Negron, and this show is all about sharing
00:00:36.009 --> 00:00:39.729
lessons, ideas, and strategies that sharpen your
00:00:39.729 --> 00:00:42.590
thinking, strengthen your habits, and push you
00:00:42.590 --> 00:00:45.670
to grow beyond comfort zones. Let's dive in.
00:00:49.729 --> 00:00:52.210
Welcome back to the show. Today I want to talk
00:00:52.210 --> 00:00:55.750
about when discipline can become a cage. What
00:00:55.750 --> 00:00:58.770
happens when the very habits that built you start
00:00:58.770 --> 00:01:01.149
to imprison you? What happens when that really
00:01:01.149 --> 00:01:03.890
good habit stops being a tool for growth and
00:01:03.890 --> 00:01:06.609
starts to be a metric driven by fear or other
00:01:06.609 --> 00:01:08.689
negative emotions? Now, anyone that's known me
00:01:08.689 --> 00:01:10.950
for a significant period of time knows that I
00:01:10.950 --> 00:01:13.189
have a lot of discipline and I have for a lot
00:01:13.189 --> 00:01:15.769
of years, but that doesn't always mean that that
00:01:15.769 --> 00:01:19.030
discipline had the cleanest fuels and sources
00:01:19.030 --> 00:01:21.239
of motivation. We've talked about on previous
00:01:21.239 --> 00:01:24.260
episodes how perfectionism or fear of failure
00:01:24.260 --> 00:01:26.700
or things like that can be things that propel
00:01:26.700 --> 00:01:29.659
you forward but aren't always the cleanest fuels
00:01:29.659 --> 00:01:32.439
in order to do so, especially long term. So today
00:01:32.439 --> 00:01:35.439
I'd like to talk through that tension of you're
00:01:35.439 --> 00:01:37.219
proud that you've built these habits, you're
00:01:37.219 --> 00:01:39.340
building streaks, and you're really making progress.
00:01:39.480 --> 00:01:41.579
Your momentum seems to be going really, really
00:01:41.579 --> 00:01:44.849
well, and yet... It's helpful to start discerning
00:01:44.849 --> 00:01:47.829
whether or not these habits are truly propelling
00:01:47.829 --> 00:01:50.530
you forward in the best way, especially long
00:01:50.530 --> 00:01:53.290
-term, to identify habits that maybe have run
00:01:53.290 --> 00:01:55.430
their course and maybe need to be replaced by
00:01:55.430 --> 00:01:59.030
something else, or finding pure sources of motivation.
00:01:59.719 --> 00:02:01.599
to keep going. Now, I'll start straight up by
00:02:01.599 --> 00:02:04.099
telling you one of mine that was a challenge
00:02:04.099 --> 00:02:06.640
for many, many years. Now, I've been working
00:02:06.640 --> 00:02:09.099
out in the gym for over 20 years. That was a
00:02:09.099 --> 00:02:12.520
discipline that I built and was an immovable
00:02:12.520 --> 00:02:15.479
routine for me for a long time. And I was really
00:02:15.479 --> 00:02:17.180
proud of that. And through that discipline, a
00:02:17.180 --> 00:02:20.039
lot of amazing things happened. However, I was
00:02:20.039 --> 00:02:22.759
always willing to sacrifice anything, especially
00:02:22.759 --> 00:02:25.719
sleep, in order to wake up early and get that
00:02:25.719 --> 00:02:28.500
workout in, no matter what. If I had a late night
00:02:28.500 --> 00:02:31.280
flight, Maybe got some delays, got in at 1 a
00:02:31.280 --> 00:02:33.759
.m., 2 a .m. Guess what? I was still waking up.
00:02:33.759 --> 00:02:36.479
I was still working out. And so I operated like
00:02:36.479 --> 00:02:39.379
that for many years, over a decade. And that
00:02:39.379 --> 00:02:41.979
became a source of pride for me that I never
00:02:41.979 --> 00:02:44.939
missed and workouts were never something I sacrificed.
00:02:45.180 --> 00:02:48.280
And maybe at a certain point in my life, that
00:02:48.280 --> 00:02:50.800
had value. Maybe it was a way to show myself
00:02:50.800 --> 00:02:53.139
that I was capable of executing at a high level
00:02:53.139 --> 00:02:55.580
for a long time. But like I said, back then,
00:02:55.599 --> 00:02:58.129
there were things in the way. things like perfectionism,
00:02:58.210 --> 00:03:00.629
fear of failure, fear of backsliding. And those
00:03:00.629 --> 00:03:02.969
were things that I just wasn't willing to compromise
00:03:02.969 --> 00:03:06.210
for anything, even other good things like sleep
00:03:06.210 --> 00:03:08.110
especially. And you can kind of think about that
00:03:08.110 --> 00:03:11.830
like over -indexing on a single metric, obsessing
00:03:11.830 --> 00:03:14.750
over one thing at the cost of everything else.
00:03:14.949 --> 00:03:16.810
I have some friends that have recently got into
00:03:16.810 --> 00:03:19.009
fitness and getting their health on track. And
00:03:19.009 --> 00:03:21.430
between work and family time, they're finding
00:03:21.430 --> 00:03:24.689
it hard to fit in their workouts in a way that
00:03:24.689 --> 00:03:27.080
it doesn't disrupt their sleep. schedule, but
00:03:27.080 --> 00:03:29.780
also disrupt family time. It's not ever been
00:03:29.780 --> 00:03:31.419
something that they've had to make time for.
00:03:31.520 --> 00:03:35.280
So that significant 45 minutes, probably more
00:03:35.280 --> 00:03:37.180
like an hour, whether you do it in the morning
00:03:37.180 --> 00:03:38.979
or the evening, it's cutting into something.
00:03:39.080 --> 00:03:41.159
You're having to sacrifice something. And it's
00:03:41.159 --> 00:03:43.080
been cool helping them navigate the different
00:03:43.080 --> 00:03:44.919
options, the different ways they can organize
00:03:44.919 --> 00:03:47.740
their schedule to really think through what they're
00:03:47.740 --> 00:03:50.080
wanting to sacrifice and what is more worth it
00:03:50.080 --> 00:03:53.319
to give up. in order to accomplish this habit.
00:03:53.460 --> 00:03:55.620
And one of my mentors, when she was getting into
00:03:55.620 --> 00:03:58.080
shape, had a trainer that told her that if she
00:03:58.080 --> 00:03:59.900
didn't get a certain amount of sleep per night,
00:03:59.979 --> 00:04:02.560
that she wasn't allowed to work out the following
00:04:02.560 --> 00:04:04.840
day. And that was an interesting approach. That
00:04:04.840 --> 00:04:06.919
really caught my ear and I was like, man, I don't
00:04:06.919 --> 00:04:09.319
know if I've ever thought of it that way. And
00:04:09.319 --> 00:04:11.719
their whole point was that if you don't get enough
00:04:11.719 --> 00:04:14.360
sleep, then the gains that you're trying to get
00:04:14.360 --> 00:04:16.540
are really not gonna be fully realized because
00:04:16.540 --> 00:04:19.399
you're not fully optimizing the single thing
00:04:19.399 --> 00:04:22.899
that your body uses. to recover, to be at peak
00:04:22.899 --> 00:04:26.459
functionality for a workout. So arguably, you
00:04:26.459 --> 00:04:28.339
won't be able to perform at your best in the
00:04:28.339 --> 00:04:31.860
workout that day anyway. And then if you're continually
00:04:31.860 --> 00:04:34.259
not sleeping well, then you're not going to recover
00:04:34.259 --> 00:04:37.199
after that workout very well either. So at some
00:04:37.199 --> 00:04:39.800
point, you have to reset. So get that sleep,
00:04:39.920 --> 00:04:42.100
then you can work out. And so that was a real
00:04:42.100 --> 00:04:45.600
good James Clear habit stacking technique from
00:04:45.600 --> 00:04:47.860
Atomic Habits that I thought was really interesting
00:04:47.860 --> 00:04:50.300
that caught my attention. And lastly, I had a
00:04:50.300 --> 00:04:54.240
friend who was really proud of their streak.
00:04:54.420 --> 00:04:57.079
They were really crushing their habit, really
00:04:57.079 --> 00:05:00.360
doing extremely well. And at some point, they
00:05:00.360 --> 00:05:03.079
ran into some challenges, you know, with travel
00:05:03.079 --> 00:05:05.600
and some other things. And it was like extremely
00:05:05.600 --> 00:05:08.680
disruptive to their life to keep that habit going
00:05:08.680 --> 00:05:11.060
rather than just skip a day. And when you're
00:05:11.060 --> 00:05:12.899
obsessive about it, you're like, no, I'm not
00:05:12.899 --> 00:05:14.459
giving it up. I'm not going to lose a streak.
00:05:14.620 --> 00:05:17.100
And that person was challenged by their trainer
00:05:17.100 --> 00:05:19.920
of like, hey, this seems like it's a little bit
00:05:19.920 --> 00:05:24.000
more tied to ego and your ability to communicate
00:05:24.000 --> 00:05:26.620
or maybe even brag about this accomplishment.
00:05:26.680 --> 00:05:29.689
And if you miss a day, then... you seem to really
00:05:29.689 --> 00:05:32.769
be associating your inability to continue that,
00:05:32.769 --> 00:05:35.389
that way you view yourself and your ability to
00:05:35.389 --> 00:05:37.790
talk about it. And so that was the first time
00:05:37.790 --> 00:05:41.129
that I had considered that ego was potentially
00:05:41.129 --> 00:05:44.689
a part of streaks and keeping a habit going then
00:05:44.689 --> 00:05:47.310
that maybe has run its course or maybe needs
00:05:47.310 --> 00:05:50.300
to be adjusted. Now, lastly, there's other instances,
00:05:50.399 --> 00:05:52.180
and I think we've all experienced this, where
00:05:52.180 --> 00:05:54.879
we download an app. So many apps are gamified
00:05:54.879 --> 00:05:56.839
these days. So they want you to get in there.
00:05:56.899 --> 00:05:58.660
They want you to interact with the app. They
00:05:58.660 --> 00:06:01.220
build daily streaks and all this stuff. And so
00:06:01.220 --> 00:06:04.500
at some point you get more attached to, oh man,
00:06:04.639 --> 00:06:08.240
I need to do the thing rather than actually track
00:06:08.240 --> 00:06:10.920
it. And this example was for water. So I had
00:06:10.920 --> 00:06:13.680
already shared in previous episodes how years
00:06:13.680 --> 00:06:16.319
ago I wasn't getting enough water in my daily
00:06:16.319 --> 00:06:19.129
intake and Trey Frizz. be a dear friend, kindly
00:06:19.129 --> 00:06:21.329
pointed out to me that, hey, you do everything
00:06:21.329 --> 00:06:24.569
else so well, but you don't drink nearly enough
00:06:24.569 --> 00:06:28.250
water, and that is a huge shame. You're leaving
00:06:28.250 --> 00:06:31.310
a ton on the table. And so I got my water under
00:06:31.310 --> 00:06:33.970
control. I used an app to track it, to hold me
00:06:33.970 --> 00:06:36.449
accountable and do it. But after a certain amount
00:06:36.449 --> 00:06:39.250
of time, I had gotten in the rhythm of drinking
00:06:39.250 --> 00:06:41.730
the right amount of fluids per day, and I didn't
00:06:41.730 --> 00:06:43.850
need the app anymore. But I had built such a
00:06:43.850 --> 00:06:46.589
significant streak that it annoyed me to not
00:06:46.589 --> 00:06:50.000
keep it going. And so sometimes if I missed entering
00:06:50.000 --> 00:06:52.759
it in the app, but I knew I drank enough water,
00:06:52.920 --> 00:06:55.839
that shouldn't matter. But I would go back maybe
00:06:55.839 --> 00:06:59.399
even one to two days and fill in that info just
00:06:59.399 --> 00:07:01.839
so I could keep the streak alive. I never cheated,
00:07:01.980 --> 00:07:04.540
but I did have to go back and fill it in. That
00:07:04.540 --> 00:07:07.000
doesn't matter. That's dumb. And so that told
00:07:07.000 --> 00:07:09.720
me something's wrong here. I'm more obsessed
00:07:09.720 --> 00:07:12.180
with the streak than I am the actual habit. The
00:07:12.180 --> 00:07:14.629
habit is what I was trying to build. And yet
00:07:14.629 --> 00:07:17.310
I got fixated on a stupid streak in an app that
00:07:17.310 --> 00:07:20.310
nobody ever sees except me. This is dumb. Good
00:07:20.310 --> 00:07:22.350
news, I don't track that anymore in the app.
00:07:22.449 --> 00:07:25.110
But I've kept the habit going. Yay. Progress,
00:07:25.389 --> 00:07:28.430
you know? So all in all, it boils down to true
00:07:28.430 --> 00:07:31.430
optimization isn't about having flawless metrics.
00:07:31.670 --> 00:07:34.629
It's about being a good steward and building
00:07:34.629 --> 00:07:37.209
these habits to better your life. That's the
00:07:37.209 --> 00:07:40.110
whole point. That's the only reason to optimize
00:07:40.110 --> 00:07:43.310
in reality. And I liken it to this, doing the
00:07:43.310 --> 00:07:46.829
right thing for the wrong reasons versus doing
00:07:46.829 --> 00:07:49.629
the right thing for the right reasons. Now, like
00:07:49.629 --> 00:07:52.930
I said earlier, using those potentially unclean
00:07:52.930 --> 00:07:56.290
fuels to do good things, Hey, I get it. We all
00:07:56.290 --> 00:07:59.689
do it. But that isn't optimal. So part of optimizing
00:07:59.689 --> 00:08:03.290
is doing the right things for the right reasons
00:08:03.290 --> 00:08:06.670
and identifying those small things that are causing
00:08:06.670 --> 00:08:09.050
us to do the right things for the wrong reasons
00:08:09.050 --> 00:08:12.410
and replacing those wrong reasons with better
00:08:12.410 --> 00:08:15.550
reasons. That's just the path of maturity and
00:08:15.550 --> 00:08:18.910
identifying where things like fear, doubt, anxiety,
00:08:19.389 --> 00:08:23.490
ego, pride are fueling things versus the desire
00:08:23.490 --> 00:08:26.389
for growth, longevity, and being a good steward
00:08:26.389 --> 00:08:28.290
with what you've been given and building on top
00:08:28.290 --> 00:08:30.490
of that. Now, am I saying that streaks are bad?
00:08:30.730 --> 00:08:34.720
Obviously, no. Streaks are psychologically helpful
00:08:34.720 --> 00:08:37.679
to motivate us to change. This is the obvious
00:08:37.679 --> 00:08:41.259
reason why gamification uses streaks in order
00:08:41.259 --> 00:08:44.519
to get the action that they want out of consumers,
00:08:44.879 --> 00:08:47.860
guests, customers, and those that are engaging.
00:08:48.059 --> 00:08:50.299
That's why algorithms serve you what you want
00:08:50.299 --> 00:08:52.899
to see, what you want to hear. And why ads target
00:08:52.899 --> 00:08:55.240
you specifically on things that they think you
00:08:55.240 --> 00:08:57.399
might be interested in, because that drives up
00:08:57.399 --> 00:08:59.679
engagement and gets them what they want, but
00:08:59.679 --> 00:09:03.080
also gets you what you might want. And so in
00:09:03.080 --> 00:09:05.000
their view, it's kind of a win -win for everyone.
00:09:05.200 --> 00:09:07.639
Now, like I said, streaks can be extremely useful
00:09:07.639 --> 00:09:10.759
for beginners, especially when they want to get
00:09:10.759 --> 00:09:13.379
started with something. And that streak mentality
00:09:13.379 --> 00:09:16.659
can help them get the plane off the ground and
00:09:16.659 --> 00:09:19.059
really get into flight. building that habit,
00:09:19.220 --> 00:09:22.639
getting into 62 days, 93 days, those kinds of
00:09:22.639 --> 00:09:24.500
things, getting into those thresholds two or
00:09:24.500 --> 00:09:26.799
three months, getting that habit built to where
00:09:26.799 --> 00:09:29.600
it's easier to do than to not do. But I would
00:09:29.600 --> 00:09:31.539
say to you, if it's something that you've been
00:09:31.539 --> 00:09:34.500
doing for a significantly generous amount of
00:09:34.500 --> 00:09:36.759
time, you've built up that streak, it costs you
00:09:36.759 --> 00:09:38.559
nothing to take an inventory, to ask yourself
00:09:38.559 --> 00:09:41.419
some questions. How much is ego involved in this?
00:09:41.600 --> 00:09:43.679
Is that more of the reason you're doing this
00:09:43.679 --> 00:09:47.179
than the actual task or habit? And is the habit
00:09:47.179 --> 00:09:50.340
still effective where you are today? Because
00:09:50.340 --> 00:09:52.460
like I said, sometimes you just need to let something
00:09:52.460 --> 00:09:55.720
go. Now, I'm still drinking all the water that
00:09:55.720 --> 00:09:58.039
I was when I was tracking. I'm just not tracking
00:09:58.039 --> 00:10:00.360
it anymore because I got in the habit of knowing
00:10:00.360 --> 00:10:02.679
what I need to drink when to hit my targets.
00:10:02.840 --> 00:10:05.639
So there's no need to measure it daily. Other
00:10:05.639 --> 00:10:08.159
things, I've let sunset. I'm like, hey, this
00:10:08.159 --> 00:10:11.519
habit served its purpose for this time. And now
00:10:11.519 --> 00:10:14.139
I'm not really getting the ROI that I used to
00:10:14.139 --> 00:10:16.779
out of it. And I don't need to feel obligated
00:10:16.779 --> 00:10:19.759
to do it anymore just to maintain some ROI. arbitrary
00:10:19.759 --> 00:10:22.259
streak. And if you give something up, then you
00:10:22.259 --> 00:10:24.419
have the opportunity to fit something else in
00:10:24.419 --> 00:10:26.679
that might serve you better at this stage. I
00:10:26.679 --> 00:10:29.840
find also that early on in people's journey of
00:10:29.840 --> 00:10:32.179
optimizing their lives, they might still have
00:10:32.179 --> 00:10:35.840
a lot of negative fuel, fear, doubt, anxiety,
00:10:36.019 --> 00:10:38.059
and those kinds of things. And those things can
00:10:38.059 --> 00:10:41.259
have some really adverse effects on people when
00:10:41.259 --> 00:10:44.779
they do miss and break the streak. And so I think
00:10:44.779 --> 00:10:47.720
we do need to be honest with The fact that sometimes,
00:10:47.919 --> 00:10:50.220
depending on where you're at and where you're
00:10:50.220 --> 00:10:52.259
at with your self -talk, with the way you view
00:10:52.259 --> 00:10:55.279
yourself, your measure of shame, like how much
00:10:55.279 --> 00:10:57.860
you've got going on and how much of those negative
00:10:57.860 --> 00:11:01.519
emotions are present in all this, that also needs
00:11:01.519 --> 00:11:04.480
to be considered in this conversation. Because
00:11:04.480 --> 00:11:07.570
for those people... that have high negative energy
00:11:07.570 --> 00:11:10.169
of all those things, shame maybe is high, maybe
00:11:10.169 --> 00:11:12.610
self -worth is low, maybe you have a high degree
00:11:12.610 --> 00:11:15.409
of negative self -talk and are not a huge fan
00:11:15.409 --> 00:11:18.009
of yourself, those kinds of things can really
00:11:18.009 --> 00:11:21.409
explode when you break a streak. I've witnessed
00:11:21.409 --> 00:11:23.970
people who've been doing really good with fitness
00:11:23.970 --> 00:11:26.870
or eating or both, and then they miss one day,
00:11:26.929 --> 00:11:29.429
and then it causes this landslide of, well, I
00:11:29.429 --> 00:11:31.570
missed once, what the heck, what does it matter?
00:11:31.850 --> 00:11:34.289
And then they backslide for a week, maybe a month,
00:11:34.330 --> 00:11:36.600
and maybe even more. all because of one day.
00:11:36.860 --> 00:11:39.059
So in this inventory, it's important to note,
00:11:39.120 --> 00:11:41.519
let's bookmark that in there, to assess where
00:11:41.519 --> 00:11:44.340
you're at. And if you're currently free from
00:11:44.340 --> 00:11:47.080
a significant amount of negative emotion, to
00:11:47.080 --> 00:11:49.899
be able to make those kinds of discernments in
00:11:49.899 --> 00:11:53.200
order to decide how you will be affected by leaving
00:11:53.200 --> 00:11:55.340
that streak behind. And this is that layer of
00:11:55.340 --> 00:11:57.399
optimization, of looking, seeing where you're
00:11:57.399 --> 00:11:59.259
at, and seeing where you can push the envelope
00:11:59.259 --> 00:12:01.509
safely. Because we're looking for opportunities
00:12:01.509 --> 00:12:04.570
where maybe certain disciplines are actually
00:12:04.570 --> 00:12:07.370
overriding actual optimization. Like I said,
00:12:07.409 --> 00:12:09.450
maybe they've run their course. Maybe our fuels
00:12:09.450 --> 00:12:11.809
and our sources of motivation are not as pure.
00:12:11.950 --> 00:12:14.889
Is there a way that we can replace some of those
00:12:14.889 --> 00:12:17.549
one at a time to give us some cleaner momentum
00:12:17.549 --> 00:12:19.370
to move forward? Those are all things that I
00:12:19.370 --> 00:12:20.850
would encourage you to think through. Because
00:12:20.850 --> 00:12:23.730
just like my water tracking app, even just a
00:12:23.730 --> 00:12:27.149
year or two ago, that system launched me into
00:12:27.149 --> 00:12:29.730
building a good habit. But at some point, point
00:12:29.730 --> 00:12:32.809
it crossed over to the system managing me instead
00:12:32.809 --> 00:12:35.250
of me managing the system. And I decided, no,
00:12:35.370 --> 00:12:37.629
I don't need this. It's all good. I've got the
00:12:37.629 --> 00:12:39.970
habit established. I can free from this streak
00:12:39.970 --> 00:12:43.610
from this app. I can release it and not be annoyed
00:12:43.610 --> 00:12:46.149
that it no longer exists. And on that conversation
00:12:46.149 --> 00:12:49.169
of our motivators, I do think it's important
00:12:49.169 --> 00:12:51.649
to make an assessment on the things that are
00:12:51.649 --> 00:12:54.090
motivating and pushing you. Like I said, negative
00:12:54.090 --> 00:12:56.850
emotions can be extremely powerful in motivating
00:12:56.850 --> 00:13:00.309
us to do incredible things. There are world champions,
00:13:00.570 --> 00:13:04.090
Olympic gold winners that achieve greatness.
00:13:04.750 --> 00:13:07.730
And then when asked what fueled them to be the
00:13:07.730 --> 00:13:11.389
elite, the 1%, the ones that made it to the pinnacle.
00:13:11.529 --> 00:13:14.190
And sometimes it's, I had a teacher that said
00:13:14.190 --> 00:13:17.509
I would never amount to anything. Oh, snap. I
00:13:17.509 --> 00:13:20.250
would say to a certain degree, that's a negative
00:13:20.250 --> 00:13:23.429
motivator. So in the good, better, best hierarchy,
00:13:23.789 --> 00:13:26.190
I always encourage people to make considerations
00:13:26.190 --> 00:13:28.769
in the choices that they're making. Is this good,
00:13:28.929 --> 00:13:31.590
better, or is it best? And that's a great thing
00:13:31.590 --> 00:13:33.970
to reflect on when you're making a lot of different
00:13:33.970 --> 00:13:36.289
choices. And so when you look at your motivators,
00:13:36.350 --> 00:13:39.250
what is pushing you to do certain things? What's
00:13:39.250 --> 00:13:40.769
pushing you to work out? What's pushing you to
00:13:40.769 --> 00:13:42.690
sleep well? What's pushing you to do all these
00:13:42.690 --> 00:13:44.409
different things? What's pushing you to perform
00:13:44.409 --> 00:13:46.809
at work? If you're a top performer, that's awesome.
00:13:46.950 --> 00:13:49.990
But if your fuel is you need to perform in order
00:13:49.990 --> 00:13:52.929
to feel appreciated, to feel like you're worth
00:13:52.929 --> 00:13:55.110
something, and that's the only time you feel
00:13:55.110 --> 00:13:59.929
alive. That is an opportunity for optimization.
00:14:00.070 --> 00:14:03.269
Again, you're a high performer, you're a successful
00:14:03.269 --> 00:14:06.110
person, but your fulfillment formula is going
00:14:06.110 --> 00:14:09.769
to be incomplete. And even achieving the results
00:14:09.769 --> 00:14:12.289
that you should be proud of are going to carry
00:14:12.289 --> 00:14:16.009
some things in there that I think words aren't
00:14:16.009 --> 00:14:18.549
adequate to describe. And if you are challenged
00:14:18.549 --> 00:14:20.509
by this, I think you know what I mean. And I
00:14:20.509 --> 00:14:23.450
think part of that is the source of fuel of that
00:14:23.450 --> 00:14:25.970
motivation and identifying what are the things
00:14:25.970 --> 00:14:28.490
that are driving you that are potentially not
00:14:28.490 --> 00:14:30.669
the cleanest sources of fuel. And we've talked
00:14:30.669 --> 00:14:33.070
about in previous episodes how to address things
00:14:33.070 --> 00:14:35.470
like negative self -talk. So I won't cover them
00:14:35.470 --> 00:14:37.710
in detail here, but go back and review those.
00:14:37.750 --> 00:14:39.830
I'll have those linked. And like I say, we're
00:14:39.830 --> 00:14:42.549
not ever going for the whole enchilada every
00:14:42.549 --> 00:14:45.309
single time. So when you identify certain things,
00:14:45.710 --> 00:14:47.149
You're like, man, I've got a lot of fear. I've
00:14:47.149 --> 00:14:49.269
got a lot of doubt. I got a lot of anxiety. I
00:14:49.269 --> 00:14:51.190
don't know how to tackle all of that. That would
00:14:51.190 --> 00:14:52.929
never be anything that I would tell you to do
00:14:52.929 --> 00:14:55.110
all at once. So you'd want to take some inventory
00:14:55.110 --> 00:14:57.970
of those things and ask yourself, which lie,
00:14:58.129 --> 00:15:00.919
which false belief can you address first? and
00:15:00.919 --> 00:15:03.320
start replacing that with truths. Is it negative
00:15:03.320 --> 00:15:05.659
self -talk? Can you try to reverse engineer that
00:15:05.659 --> 00:15:07.840
like we've discussed in previous episodes? And
00:15:07.840 --> 00:15:10.259
take those steps necessary to start replacing
00:15:10.259 --> 00:15:12.840
that fuel with a cleaner one so that you can
00:15:12.840 --> 00:15:15.039
continue on with the habits, with the production,
00:15:15.200 --> 00:15:17.440
with the success that you may be already having,
00:15:17.480 --> 00:15:20.519
even if the momentum stays the same, which is
00:15:20.519 --> 00:15:22.899
unlikely, honestly. I think your momentum will
00:15:22.899 --> 00:15:25.299
increase. However, even if it stays the same,
00:15:25.710 --> 00:15:27.649
Your level of satisfaction with your results
00:15:27.649 --> 00:15:30.169
and your view of self will only improve in that
00:15:30.169 --> 00:15:32.830
scenario, which again, I would argue, will increase
00:15:32.830 --> 00:15:35.309
your results no matter what. And one of my mentors
00:15:35.309 --> 00:15:39.519
has a saying that assets always adjust. And what
00:15:39.519 --> 00:15:42.580
Danelle means when she says that is that assets
00:15:42.580 --> 00:15:46.120
are always willing to analyze their plan, analyze
00:15:46.120 --> 00:15:49.139
their goal, analyze their trajectory, their mechanisms,
00:15:49.340 --> 00:15:52.120
their strategies, their systems, and always willing
00:15:52.120 --> 00:15:55.139
to tweak as they're inspecting what is going
00:15:55.139 --> 00:15:57.620
on. And when you identify those things and you're
00:15:57.620 --> 00:16:00.879
constantly tweaking, pushing, adjusting, your
00:16:00.879 --> 00:16:03.919
results will be significantly more than if you
00:16:03.919 --> 00:16:07.039
just followed a single plan and made no adjustments
00:16:07.039 --> 00:16:09.629
throughout that same time domain. compared to
00:16:09.629 --> 00:16:11.610
someone making endless adjustments throughout
00:16:11.610 --> 00:16:14.129
that same time frame. So back to my personal
00:16:14.129 --> 00:16:17.529
story on the adjustment of working out at all
00:16:17.529 --> 00:16:20.450
costs. How have I changed that? So I've adopted
00:16:20.450 --> 00:16:23.830
something kind of similar to what my friend's
00:16:23.830 --> 00:16:27.529
trainer was having them do, in that my sleep
00:16:27.529 --> 00:16:31.409
dictates a lot of what I will do workout -wise
00:16:31.409 --> 00:16:34.240
or even morning routine -wise. My morning routine
00:16:34.240 --> 00:16:37.159
used to be untouchable. I would wake up at that
00:16:37.159 --> 00:16:39.220
time no matter what. Feet would hit the ground
00:16:39.220 --> 00:16:41.379
immediately, no snooze. And that was something
00:16:41.379 --> 00:16:43.759
I was really proud of. But when I realized that
00:16:43.759 --> 00:16:46.600
my sleep, getting five hours a night, was not
00:16:46.600 --> 00:16:49.679
the way to build an optimized life, that year
00:16:49.679 --> 00:16:52.500
and a half that I spent dialing in my sleep 30
00:16:52.500 --> 00:16:55.899
minutes at a time in six -month blocks, I knew
00:16:55.899 --> 00:16:58.480
that in certain cases, in order to keep that
00:16:58.480 --> 00:17:01.600
consistency increasing over time, that I was
00:17:01.600 --> 00:17:03.759
going to be challenged with, late nights and
00:17:03.759 --> 00:17:05.960
things that I couldn't avoid, whether it's travel,
00:17:06.180 --> 00:17:08.980
you know, flight delays, or even just those single
00:17:08.980 --> 00:17:11.039
events where you're like, well, this person's
00:17:11.039 --> 00:17:13.079
only going to graduate once and I have to be
00:17:13.079 --> 00:17:14.980
there and then I got to come back home and it's
00:17:14.980 --> 00:17:16.640
going to be late and what am I going to do? There's
00:17:16.640 --> 00:17:19.119
always going to be something that you can't always
00:17:19.119 --> 00:17:21.299
say no to. So then when you're challenged with
00:17:21.299 --> 00:17:24.099
those, what do you do on the back end when you're
00:17:24.099 --> 00:17:27.319
like, well, do I work out or do I get a good
00:17:27.319 --> 00:17:29.099
amount of sleep? Well, when sleep becomes the
00:17:29.099 --> 00:17:31.349
foundation, Of the thing that I was working on
00:17:31.349 --> 00:17:34.309
for those 18 months, sleep went out for the first
00:17:34.309 --> 00:17:36.529
time ever. And it was like, well, it's either
00:17:36.529 --> 00:17:39.069
five hours of sleep or seven. Guess I'm not working
00:17:39.069 --> 00:17:41.410
out tomorrow. So I'd wake up later, do my morning
00:17:41.410 --> 00:17:43.990
routine, not in the morning, probably do it in
00:17:43.990 --> 00:17:46.190
the evening. And that was a huge, huge adjustment.
00:17:46.329 --> 00:17:48.730
And I think that's where the hierarchy of grace
00:17:48.730 --> 00:17:51.940
comes in. And being able to show yourself grace
00:17:51.940 --> 00:17:54.740
and say, hey, especially when you know you're
00:17:54.740 --> 00:17:56.920
doing something for a purpose. And I think that's
00:17:56.920 --> 00:17:59.980
where some people let fear grip them when they're
00:17:59.980 --> 00:18:03.160
like, well, I'm afraid that if I choose to give
00:18:03.160 --> 00:18:05.519
up this habit or this streak and do it willingly,
00:18:05.660 --> 00:18:08.500
but I don't have any sort of structure that I
00:18:08.500 --> 00:18:11.460
could backslide or slip or it's gonna, I'm gonna
00:18:11.460 --> 00:18:13.400
let myself go or whatever. But if you have a
00:18:13.400 --> 00:18:15.720
structured system where it was like, no, I'm
00:18:15.720 --> 00:18:18.059
committing to, initially it was five and a half
00:18:18.059 --> 00:18:20.289
hours of sleep. then it was six, then it was
00:18:20.289 --> 00:18:22.589
six and a half, and then it was seven. And to
00:18:22.589 --> 00:18:25.089
be clear, it's time in bed because you can't
00:18:25.089 --> 00:18:26.829
always control when you're actually sleeping.
00:18:26.970 --> 00:18:29.269
And so when that was my commitment, it was easy
00:18:29.269 --> 00:18:31.890
math. It was like, okay, so I need this amount.
00:18:32.190 --> 00:18:34.069
This is when I'm going to bed. Can I fit it?
00:18:34.150 --> 00:18:36.049
And sometimes it'd be like, well, I'm going to
00:18:36.049 --> 00:18:38.450
do my gratitudes, my devotional later in the
00:18:38.450 --> 00:18:40.730
day. I can still wake up. I still work out. Cool.
00:18:40.890 --> 00:18:43.289
Other times the math just did not work no matter
00:18:43.289 --> 00:18:45.089
how you diced it. And could I work out in the
00:18:45.089 --> 00:18:47.109
evening? Sure. But if that's not something that
00:18:47.109 --> 00:18:49.269
you're used to and you smash a workout in the
00:18:49.269 --> 00:18:51.529
evening and then try to go to sleep, that didn't
00:18:51.529 --> 00:18:53.529
work out very well for me. So I was like doing
00:18:53.529 --> 00:18:55.869
CrossFit an hour before sleep. I don't think
00:18:55.869 --> 00:18:59.049
so. So and in those past years, if I would have
00:18:59.049 --> 00:19:01.089
made that same choice, I didn't have enough grace
00:19:01.089 --> 00:19:04.750
for myself to value sleep enough to be OK with
00:19:04.750 --> 00:19:07.240
missing the workout. And that also applies to
00:19:07.240 --> 00:19:10.259
when trainers and coaches say, listen to your
00:19:10.259 --> 00:19:14.420
body and don't go 100 % if you don't feel well.
00:19:14.599 --> 00:19:17.460
Like, that's just not how I do it forever. And
00:19:17.460 --> 00:19:21.039
so it was like, I would go 150 % no matter what.
00:19:21.119 --> 00:19:24.079
And if my body was not happy with that, then
00:19:24.079 --> 00:19:27.140
it could deal with it later. And so that same
00:19:27.140 --> 00:19:29.539
grace can start to bleed into that where you're
00:19:29.539 --> 00:19:33.200
like, no, I don't have to attach my self -worth
00:19:33.200 --> 00:19:37.339
or anything to my company. Or even, you know,
00:19:37.339 --> 00:19:39.759
the weight that I may have lifted before or how
00:19:39.759 --> 00:19:41.599
I would have performed in a workout previously.
00:19:41.960 --> 00:19:44.799
Sometimes just realizing that weight sometimes
00:19:44.799 --> 00:19:47.880
feels really light and other times half that
00:19:47.880 --> 00:19:50.960
weight feels like a house. That's just how it
00:19:50.960 --> 00:19:53.980
is. Body goes in cycles, hormones cycle and those
00:19:53.980 --> 00:19:56.299
kinds of things. So just realizing, you know,
00:19:56.339 --> 00:19:58.539
I'm just not feeling it today. Other times you're
00:19:58.539 --> 00:20:00.259
like, man, I feel like 100 bucks. I could do
00:20:00.259 --> 00:20:02.640
100 of these. This is great. And also as you
00:20:02.640 --> 00:20:04.900
age, those kinds of things kind of force you
00:20:04.900 --> 00:20:07.700
to adapt your thinking as well. So but having
00:20:07.700 --> 00:20:10.599
that grace is super critical in order to prioritize
00:20:10.599 --> 00:20:13.220
the right things, especially as you're optimizing
00:20:13.220 --> 00:20:15.779
and realizing that at some point I realized that,
00:20:15.839 --> 00:20:18.359
hey, sleep was going to be where I how I was
00:20:18.359 --> 00:20:20.230
going to be able to take this. to the next level
00:20:20.230 --> 00:20:23.490
and keep my health metrics. for longevity where
00:20:23.490 --> 00:20:25.549
they needed to be. I've talked about I'm a whoop
00:20:25.549 --> 00:20:27.890
user. As they keep growing their platform, there's
00:20:27.890 --> 00:20:29.829
all sorts of interesting metrics that they start
00:20:29.829 --> 00:20:32.250
to track. And a lot of these fitness trackers
00:20:32.250 --> 00:20:35.529
now have some sort of like lifespan, like digital
00:20:35.529 --> 00:20:38.150
age component to them. And it's interesting,
00:20:38.269 --> 00:20:41.390
like I don't know how valid or how legit it is,
00:20:41.450 --> 00:20:44.089
but it is interesting to look to see the things
00:20:44.089 --> 00:20:46.470
that I do on a weekly basis. That's how it updates
00:20:46.470 --> 00:20:49.750
on a weekly basis. And sleep is the number one
00:20:49.750 --> 00:20:52.809
thing that affects that. number from speeding
00:20:52.809 --> 00:20:55.549
up or slowing down. And it's the sleep duration
00:20:55.549 --> 00:20:58.650
average, but also the sleep consistency. And
00:20:58.650 --> 00:21:00.509
that one's the one that always gets me because
00:21:00.509 --> 00:21:02.990
it's like if I get the right amount of numbers,
00:21:03.170 --> 00:21:05.529
but it's not always in the same window, that
00:21:05.529 --> 00:21:07.769
fights against me. I'm trying to get those two
00:21:07.769 --> 00:21:10.839
ironed together, but it's not always. the way
00:21:10.839 --> 00:21:12.980
I want it to be. But when I get it dialed in,
00:21:13.119 --> 00:21:16.960
that number has the highest net effect on that
00:21:16.960 --> 00:21:19.380
number more than any of my other metrics, which
00:21:19.380 --> 00:21:21.700
is cool. So in that, I realized what a lot of
00:21:21.700 --> 00:21:23.700
my coaches and trainers have been saying over
00:21:23.700 --> 00:21:25.680
the years of like, listen, the fact that you
00:21:25.680 --> 00:21:28.720
would sacrifice anything, including sleep, and
00:21:28.720 --> 00:21:30.720
you don't drink enough water, but you're wanting
00:21:30.720 --> 00:21:32.539
to give it everything and optimize everything,
00:21:32.779 --> 00:21:34.990
you got some of your priorities mixed up. And
00:21:34.990 --> 00:21:37.430
so that's not optimization. That's really bad
00:21:37.430 --> 00:21:39.970
stewardship. And so I had to listen to that feedback.
00:21:40.049 --> 00:21:41.809
I had to be able to be receptive and be like,
00:21:41.849 --> 00:21:43.549
okay, you know, he's right. Like, how do I get
00:21:43.549 --> 00:21:45.690
this in? And I couldn't tackle both at the same
00:21:45.690 --> 00:21:47.789
time. So I was like, you know what? Water is
00:21:47.789 --> 00:21:50.130
something I think I can do easier than sleep
00:21:50.130 --> 00:21:52.190
because sleep doesn't just affect me. It affects
00:21:52.190 --> 00:21:55.170
a spouse situation as well. And so I was like,
00:21:55.230 --> 00:21:56.829
you know, let me get the water dialed in and
00:21:56.829 --> 00:21:59.049
then I can talk to her and figure out like, hey,
00:21:59.130 --> 00:22:01.359
you know, when. When can we go to bed? Because
00:22:01.359 --> 00:22:03.279
she's kind of more of a night owl. So I'm like,
00:22:03.359 --> 00:22:05.619
hey. And I had to have that conversation. So
00:22:05.619 --> 00:22:08.579
got the water dialed in first, then started addressing
00:22:08.579 --> 00:22:11.259
the sleep. And again, small adjustments. It was
00:22:11.259 --> 00:22:13.740
an 18 -month deal. Having the patience and the
00:22:13.740 --> 00:22:16.720
grace to do that over time, doing it 30 minutes
00:22:16.720 --> 00:22:19.740
at a time, every time I hit that 30 -minute average,
00:22:19.880 --> 00:22:22.400
bumped up, it gave me the confidence to go, OK,
00:22:22.559 --> 00:22:24.799
I mean, we did it 30 minutes. We can scoot it
00:22:24.799 --> 00:22:28.430
to another 15 to... 15 to 30 at the end until
00:22:28.430 --> 00:22:31.009
I reach that next 30 mark and then keep it going.
00:22:31.109 --> 00:22:32.650
And I want to address the elephant in the room
00:22:32.650 --> 00:22:35.470
about grace. I think sometimes the pushback I
00:22:35.470 --> 00:22:38.230
get when I talk about this to people is that
00:22:38.230 --> 00:22:42.170
they are afraid that if they have grace for themselves
00:22:42.170 --> 00:22:45.829
in a habit, in a streak situation or things like
00:22:45.829 --> 00:22:47.769
that, that it's going to become something like
00:22:47.769 --> 00:22:50.970
that it's going to produce laziness or complacency
00:22:50.970 --> 00:22:54.660
or initiate. a backslide scenario. And I would
00:22:54.660 --> 00:22:57.559
say that's all dependent on your purpose and
00:22:57.559 --> 00:22:59.480
your design for what you're doing what you're
00:22:59.480 --> 00:23:02.079
doing. So for me, if there's a reason that I'm
00:23:02.079 --> 00:23:04.900
sacrificing the workout, these days it's going
00:23:04.900 --> 00:23:08.720
to be intentionally sacrificing the workout for
00:23:08.720 --> 00:23:11.599
something more valuable, which in my case most
00:23:11.599 --> 00:23:14.859
often is sleep. In some other cases it might
00:23:14.859 --> 00:23:17.960
be maybe I'm nursing an injury. Maybe I'm going
00:23:17.960 --> 00:23:19.859
into something and going, okay, I don't know
00:23:19.859 --> 00:23:21.880
how this is going to feel. We'll see. The body
00:23:21.880 --> 00:23:25.000
does great. Cool. Just go for it. If it doesn't,
00:23:25.000 --> 00:23:26.740
be like, you know what? Guess I'm not doing that
00:23:26.740 --> 00:23:30.039
today. That's really hard to not be stubborn
00:23:30.039 --> 00:23:32.619
through. And if negative emotions are in the
00:23:32.619 --> 00:23:36.319
way, like ego, pride, that streak, whatever it
00:23:36.319 --> 00:23:38.900
is, then you're doing the right things for the
00:23:38.900 --> 00:23:41.440
wrong reasons. And you could be doing more damage
00:23:41.440 --> 00:23:44.660
than good. And that isn't optimization, my friends.
00:23:44.799 --> 00:23:46.950
So my challenge for you this week. is go through
00:23:46.950 --> 00:23:49.690
a particular habit that you have or maybe want
00:23:49.690 --> 00:23:52.089
to have, especially if there's a streak attached
00:23:52.089 --> 00:23:54.309
to it, and just run it through the friction test.
00:23:54.509 --> 00:23:57.829
Ask questions, maybe ask for some feedback. If
00:23:57.829 --> 00:24:00.430
this is like a gym or nutrition habit, you can
00:24:00.430 --> 00:24:02.349
ask your coaches and trainers. They'll be more
00:24:02.349 --> 00:24:04.750
than willing to give you their perception, especially
00:24:04.750 --> 00:24:06.930
if you give them permission. If they're anything
00:24:06.930 --> 00:24:09.150
like my coaches and trainers. And in some other
00:24:09.150 --> 00:24:11.230
life habits, you can ask your significant other,
00:24:11.390 --> 00:24:13.849
your close friends, and sometimes, if it makes
00:24:13.849 --> 00:24:15.509
sense, sometimes even your kids can give you
00:24:15.509 --> 00:24:17.420
some. feedback on certain things and do that
00:24:17.420 --> 00:24:20.500
inventory on those negative emotions, those sources
00:24:20.500 --> 00:24:22.920
of fuel. Are you doing that habit because you
00:24:22.920 --> 00:24:25.019
really want the benefit of what it provides?
00:24:25.119 --> 00:24:27.160
Or is there something else attached to it, something
00:24:27.160 --> 00:24:29.859
else driving it that needs addressed that would
00:24:29.859 --> 00:24:32.359
benefit you? If you first identified what it
00:24:32.359 --> 00:24:35.079
was, realize that it's there, and then start
00:24:35.079 --> 00:24:37.660
to do some work on figuring out how you can replace
00:24:37.660 --> 00:24:40.039
those with something more constructive and something
00:24:40.039 --> 00:24:43.119
more powerful. And this goes back to why we value
00:24:43.119 --> 00:24:46.299
progress over perfection every day and why daily
00:24:46.299 --> 00:24:49.079
anything really does change everything. And because
00:24:49.079 --> 00:24:51.720
we're doing things daily, we have the ability
00:24:51.720 --> 00:24:55.059
to improve day over day. And you can tweak and
00:24:55.059 --> 00:24:57.940
optimize those things on a daily basis, not a
00:24:57.940 --> 00:25:00.359
monthly one, not a yearly one, but every day.
00:25:00.240 --> 00:25:02.559
single day. So look over a habit this week, see
00:25:02.559 --> 00:25:04.380
what you can adjust, see if there's anything
00:25:04.380 --> 00:25:06.460
that needs to be looked at, adjust, replaced,
00:25:06.579 --> 00:25:08.579
and let me know in the comments. What did you
00:25:08.579 --> 00:25:10.259
discover? Did you find anything? Did you make
00:25:10.259 --> 00:25:13.180
any changes? Did you drop any habit? Are you
00:25:13.180 --> 00:25:15.380
replacing it with another one? I'd love to know.
00:25:15.500 --> 00:25:17.180
But in the meantime, thanks for listening to
00:25:17.180 --> 00:25:19.839
the Optimizing Beyond podcast. Remember, growth
00:25:19.839 --> 00:25:22.200
happens when you take action. So subscribe, share
00:25:22.200 --> 00:25:24.359
this with a friend, and most importantly, put
00:25:24.359 --> 00:25:26.519
what you learned into practice. Until next time,
00:25:26.599 --> 00:25:29.859
keep moving forward because daily anything changes
00:25:29.859 --> 00:25:30.579
everything.
