WEBVTT
00:00:02.089 --> 00:00:05.230
Welcome to the Optimizing Beyond podcast. I'm
00:00:05.230 --> 00:00:07.389
Josh Negron, and this show is all about sharing
00:00:07.389 --> 00:00:11.109
lessons, ideas, and strategies that sharpen your
00:00:11.109 --> 00:00:13.949
thinking, strengthen your habits, and push you
00:00:13.949 --> 00:00:17.030
to grow beyond comfort zones. Let's dive in.
00:00:21.359 --> 00:00:23.859
Welcome back to the show. Today I'm joined by
00:00:23.859 --> 00:00:26.519
Ashley, again, my co -host. And we were just
00:00:26.519 --> 00:00:29.219
enamored by the World Cup this month and wanted
00:00:29.219 --> 00:00:31.460
to talk about some of the things that, especially
00:00:31.460 --> 00:00:33.659
being new to the sport, will be humble and say
00:00:33.659 --> 00:00:35.560
things that we noticed. And we came across a
00:00:35.560 --> 00:00:38.500
post. on X that kind of discussed specifically
00:00:38.500 --> 00:00:41.600
the England -Argentina semifinal game. And we
00:00:41.600 --> 00:00:43.320
thought there were some good lessons there that
00:00:43.320 --> 00:00:45.859
would fit the Optimizing Beyond brand here. So
00:00:45.859 --> 00:00:48.000
without further ado, let's get to it. Welcome
00:00:48.000 --> 00:00:50.500
back, Ashley. Yes, thank you. Yeah, like you
00:00:50.500 --> 00:00:53.759
said, we know nothing about soccer or football,
00:00:53.979 --> 00:00:56.939
if you will. My exposure to that is watching
00:00:56.939 --> 00:00:59.759
Ted Lasso. You know, I mean, I've... I didn't
00:00:59.759 --> 00:01:02.780
grow up around it and didn't understand it, if
00:01:02.780 --> 00:01:05.319
I'm being honest. A lot of it is you just watch
00:01:05.319 --> 00:01:08.079
people run around on a... field for a really
00:01:08.079 --> 00:01:10.579
long time and nothing really happens and it goes
00:01:10.579 --> 00:01:13.180
on for a really long time right but then we actually
00:01:13.180 --> 00:01:15.540
had a friend who had played in high school and
00:01:15.540 --> 00:01:18.180
a little bit in college who took the time to
00:01:18.180 --> 00:01:21.719
show and explain and we actually watched a game
00:01:21.719 --> 00:01:24.540
together and like we would he would stop the
00:01:24.540 --> 00:01:27.000
tv and be like you know vayna white and show
00:01:27.000 --> 00:01:28.599
us all the things and teach us about the game
00:01:28.599 --> 00:01:31.120
and then it was like it became so much more enjoyable
00:01:31.120 --> 00:01:35.040
because I understood the game. And, you know,
00:01:35.079 --> 00:01:37.379
I think there are a million life lessons that
00:01:37.379 --> 00:01:40.340
can even be gleaned from that, right? Like, yeah.
00:01:40.480 --> 00:01:43.239
And so it just became so much more fun. And then
00:01:43.239 --> 00:01:45.640
also watching all of the people come to the U
00:01:45.640 --> 00:01:48.519
.S. and how much fun that they were having experiencing
00:01:48.519 --> 00:01:53.519
the U .S. It made social media so fun for that
00:01:53.519 --> 00:01:57.120
month, however long that was. It made it so much
00:01:57.120 --> 00:01:59.519
fun to just watch all of those posts. And yeah,
00:01:59.599 --> 00:02:02.120
we, as a friend said, I'm really glad it's...
00:02:02.189 --> 00:02:03.730
Every four years or we would get nothing done
00:02:03.730 --> 00:02:07.069
because we watched a lot of football. We did.
00:02:07.090 --> 00:02:09.370
We did. And we're super thankful for Trey, who's
00:02:09.370 --> 00:02:11.509
been a guest on this show before, walking us
00:02:11.509 --> 00:02:14.150
through like all the simple things like what
00:02:14.150 --> 00:02:17.090
the heck is offsides? You know, like Ted Lasso
00:02:17.090 --> 00:02:18.930
jokes in the show that he doesn't know what that
00:02:18.930 --> 00:02:20.909
is. Asking a ref. No, no, really. Like, what
00:02:20.909 --> 00:02:23.110
is it? Show me. Can you tell me what that is?
00:02:23.169 --> 00:02:26.069
And so it was it made it make so much more sense.
00:02:26.560 --> 00:02:28.939
Because in our mindset, we're like, why don't
00:02:28.939 --> 00:02:31.719
you go for the goal? Why is he getting in trouble?
00:02:31.860 --> 00:02:34.080
It doesn't make any sense. And so it was really
00:02:34.080 --> 00:02:36.860
fun to kind of get into it, especially in an
00:02:36.860 --> 00:02:38.759
event that only happens every four years. It
00:02:38.759 --> 00:02:42.180
obviously has like an Olympic style feel to it.
00:02:42.240 --> 00:02:43.680
And that's something you and I enjoy to watch
00:02:43.680 --> 00:02:45.800
every couple of years when they come around.
00:02:45.919 --> 00:02:49.120
So in this specific scenario, and I'll link the
00:02:49.120 --> 00:02:51.800
original post down below in the comments, but
00:02:51.800 --> 00:02:54.500
the X post was talking about this match that
00:02:54.500 --> 00:02:57.729
happened in the semifinals. between England and
00:02:57.729 --> 00:03:00.090
Argentina on July 15th. And if anyone watched
00:03:00.090 --> 00:03:02.409
that game, they know that England was up, right?
00:03:02.550 --> 00:03:05.349
And so it was a big deal because England hadn't
00:03:05.349 --> 00:03:10.669
been in the final since 1966 is what I saw. And
00:03:10.669 --> 00:03:13.650
so it was a big deal for them to do that. And
00:03:13.650 --> 00:03:16.169
I've got a couple of friends that are really
00:03:16.169 --> 00:03:20.009
into soccer. And they mentioned how being 2 -0,
00:03:20.090 --> 00:03:23.069
like leading by two or one is like the most dangerous
00:03:23.069 --> 00:03:26.330
score because then you... got all this time for
00:03:26.330 --> 00:03:27.750
the other two you know you don't know what they're
00:03:27.750 --> 00:03:29.090
going to do and how they're going to do it and
00:03:29.090 --> 00:03:30.810
so it's just interesting hearing that language
00:03:30.810 --> 00:03:34.090
and then the guy who scored the goal was taken
00:03:34.090 --> 00:03:37.270
off by the coach and then another defender was
00:03:37.270 --> 00:03:39.969
put on so you have five five defenders in the
00:03:39.969 --> 00:03:42.610
back which is just a very defensive posture from
00:03:42.610 --> 00:03:45.090
what i understand and he's got back five with
00:03:45.090 --> 00:03:47.710
30 minutes left plus extra time if there is any.
00:03:47.789 --> 00:03:50.530
And then a second wave of defensive subs, like
00:03:50.530 --> 00:03:53.909
it was definitely what could be interpreted as
00:03:53.909 --> 00:03:56.889
a really defensive play. So you're ahead. Now
00:03:56.889 --> 00:03:58.949
all we got to do is just wait it out, right?
00:03:59.069 --> 00:04:01.550
Is kind of what it feels like that approach was.
00:04:01.689 --> 00:04:04.949
And then what's the result? They basically possessed
00:04:04.949 --> 00:04:08.530
the ball less than 12 % of the rest of the game.
00:04:08.629 --> 00:04:11.330
And then no surprise, Argentina, who's famous
00:04:11.330 --> 00:04:14.789
for coming back in the last 15 to 12 minutes,
00:04:14.969 --> 00:04:18.410
does what they do and totally equalizes it and
00:04:18.410 --> 00:04:21.389
then capitalizes on it. And one of the points
00:04:21.389 --> 00:04:25.470
that was made in this X post was that the job's
00:04:25.470 --> 00:04:28.279
not done. It was one observation, right? And
00:04:28.279 --> 00:04:32.000
so just because you have made some progress towards
00:04:32.000 --> 00:04:34.500
your goal or you've accomplished something or
00:04:34.500 --> 00:04:37.399
even closed the deal that the job's not done.
00:04:37.560 --> 00:04:39.180
You know, how important is follow through? How
00:04:39.180 --> 00:04:41.720
important for salespeople is follow up? We hear
00:04:41.720 --> 00:04:44.360
that a lot in the sales business that we're in
00:04:44.360 --> 00:04:47.079
or even something like yesterday's win doesn't
00:04:47.079 --> 00:04:51.379
buy today's win, right? Or matter today. In the
00:04:51.379 --> 00:04:53.120
car business, we talk about at the beginning
00:04:53.120 --> 00:04:55.040
of the month, it doesn't matter what you sold
00:04:55.040 --> 00:04:57.959
last month. You're back to what? Zero. Zero.
00:04:58.240 --> 00:05:01.160
That's right. From hero to zero. So with that
00:05:01.160 --> 00:05:03.339
idea, Ashley, how did that, how did you view
00:05:03.339 --> 00:05:05.060
that? Yeah, well, what's interesting is it actually
00:05:05.060 --> 00:05:06.519
makes me think about a conversation that we had
00:05:06.519 --> 00:05:09.680
today in a meeting around like finishing what
00:05:09.680 --> 00:05:12.779
you start. So many of us are great at starting
00:05:12.779 --> 00:05:15.279
things, but then we get distracted. We get discouraged.
00:05:15.740 --> 00:05:18.579
We start becoming defensive. We start, you know,
00:05:18.579 --> 00:05:20.839
approaching things from a defensive posture instead
00:05:20.839 --> 00:05:22.920
of an offensive posture. And so I think that
00:05:22.920 --> 00:05:24.959
plays out for so many of us in so many things.
00:05:24.980 --> 00:05:27.500
Like we start great. start losing weight. Awesome.
00:05:27.639 --> 00:05:30.879
We start eating healthy. Great. And then something
00:05:30.879 --> 00:05:33.379
happens and you know, you have a rough day. So
00:05:33.379 --> 00:05:34.680
you're like, well, I'm going to just, you know,
00:05:34.699 --> 00:05:36.360
I'm going to just eat this. I'm going to go run
00:05:36.360 --> 00:05:38.220
through this drive -thru real quick. Or, you
00:05:38.220 --> 00:05:40.579
know, or you stay late at work or something comes
00:05:40.579 --> 00:05:42.579
up and then you are on your way home. And I'm
00:05:42.579 --> 00:05:43.779
like, well, I don't feel like cooking now. So
00:05:43.779 --> 00:05:45.100
I'm just going to grab this drive -thru, you
00:05:45.100 --> 00:05:47.779
know, like whatever that that is. It's so easy
00:05:47.779 --> 00:05:50.980
to start something and so much more difficult
00:05:50.980 --> 00:05:54.319
to finish it. Especially if I feel like deadlines
00:05:54.319 --> 00:05:57.430
are arbitrary. right? Like, you know, even like
00:05:57.430 --> 00:05:58.949
thinking about for me right now, something that
00:05:58.949 --> 00:06:01.170
I'm wrestling with is like, I know that I need
00:06:01.170 --> 00:06:03.189
to start working on packing certain things in
00:06:03.189 --> 00:06:05.149
this house, but that feels like forever away.
00:06:05.269 --> 00:06:09.009
So I'm not doing it, but what I'm doing is setting
00:06:09.009 --> 00:06:12.259
myself up. for a crazy month of November and
00:06:12.259 --> 00:06:15.879
December if I don't start now, right? And so
00:06:15.879 --> 00:06:18.420
you have to, I think there's that combination
00:06:18.420 --> 00:06:22.019
of like, you have to set your own arbitrary deadlines
00:06:22.019 --> 00:06:25.279
and hold yourself to them as if they were something
00:06:25.279 --> 00:06:28.079
that actually, you know, that the deadline for
00:06:28.079 --> 00:06:31.240
moving was in a month rather than in four or
00:06:31.240 --> 00:06:33.300
whatever that that's going to look like. And
00:06:33.300 --> 00:06:37.500
so... I think it's just so easy to, yeah, begin
00:06:37.500 --> 00:06:41.339
playing even the game of life, if you will, from
00:06:41.339 --> 00:06:44.199
that defensive posture of now, oh, I got here.
00:06:44.399 --> 00:06:47.079
Now I just have to wait it out till here. And
00:06:47.079 --> 00:06:49.500
I think we all do that in different areas of
00:06:49.500 --> 00:06:51.040
our lives. And that looks different for everybody.
00:06:51.220 --> 00:06:54.180
Yeah. And that also goes with the accomplishment
00:06:54.180 --> 00:06:57.779
mindset that sometimes you're lulled into when
00:06:57.779 --> 00:06:59.860
you've been doing well in something. So for example,
00:06:59.980 --> 00:07:03.439
let's say that you've been eating really well.
00:07:03.560 --> 00:07:06.420
for a certain period of time. It's easy. I mean,
00:07:06.439 --> 00:07:10.019
we're justifying machines as humans. And so we're
00:07:10.019 --> 00:07:13.379
really good at rationalizing or justifying. So
00:07:13.379 --> 00:07:15.980
in the health context, in the nutrition or fitness
00:07:15.980 --> 00:07:19.079
space, it's easy to speak to. You're like, well,
00:07:19.139 --> 00:07:22.860
I haven't cheated in three weeks. So it's almost
00:07:22.860 --> 00:07:25.879
easy to... to let yourself off the hook is kind
00:07:25.879 --> 00:07:28.879
of what you were describing. And so that follow
00:07:28.879 --> 00:07:30.980
through and that finishing well is so critical
00:07:30.980 --> 00:07:34.199
and not something that comes naturally or is
00:07:34.199 --> 00:07:36.779
always pretty easy, you know, for most people.
00:07:36.899 --> 00:07:39.519
And so that's why I really love the phrase daily
00:07:39.519 --> 00:07:42.579
anything changes everything because you're putting
00:07:42.579 --> 00:07:45.680
yourself in the daily habit of executing. And
00:07:45.680 --> 00:07:48.980
when I talk about the nutrition or the fitness
00:07:48.980 --> 00:07:50.879
space, like I have a lot of people that have
00:07:50.879 --> 00:07:53.660
conversations with me about in that arena. And
00:07:53.660 --> 00:07:55.699
I'm asked often like, hey, I'm thinking about
00:07:55.699 --> 00:07:58.600
trying this. And it's usually something extremely
00:07:58.600 --> 00:08:01.560
aggressive. Most of the time, especially if they're
00:08:01.560 --> 00:08:03.240
a beginner, it's biting off more than they can
00:08:03.240 --> 00:08:06.500
chew, likely more than they can execute comfortably
00:08:06.500 --> 00:08:09.939
or even reasonably. And it's probably something
00:08:09.939 --> 00:08:11.980
that they're that I know they're setting themselves
00:08:11.980 --> 00:08:15.420
up for failure. And so I know they're going to
00:08:15.420 --> 00:08:18.740
have a hard time finishing what they start in
00:08:18.740 --> 00:08:22.959
that arena. So when we focus on those daily incremental
00:08:22.959 --> 00:08:26.100
gains, I feel like that's where so much more
00:08:26.100 --> 00:08:29.699
of the power is. And that causes the compound
00:08:29.699 --> 00:08:32.019
growth in the direction that you want. Whereas
00:08:32.019 --> 00:08:35.429
in this example, it kind of seems like. They
00:08:35.429 --> 00:08:37.970
were taking their foot off the gas or at least
00:08:37.970 --> 00:08:42.269
going defensive. And in that posture, it's tough
00:08:42.269 --> 00:08:45.269
to win something when you're not playing to win.
00:08:45.429 --> 00:08:47.690
You're playing not to lose, which is a totally
00:08:47.690 --> 00:08:49.330
different thing. And there's a reason why that's
00:08:49.330 --> 00:08:51.830
a cliche. And that's something that people say
00:08:51.830 --> 00:08:55.250
because it's real. Was there ever a time, Ashley,
00:08:55.330 --> 00:08:57.330
in your elbow recovery that you talked about
00:08:57.330 --> 00:09:01.250
recently where you were tempted to kind of be
00:09:01.250 --> 00:09:03.970
like, meh, that's good enough and not push it
00:09:03.970 --> 00:09:06.620
any further? farther as far as, you know, your
00:09:06.620 --> 00:09:09.019
PT or your recovery? Because obviously you talked
00:09:09.019 --> 00:09:11.820
about how difficult that road was and how challenging
00:09:11.820 --> 00:09:14.080
it was to execute that on a daily and weekly
00:09:14.080 --> 00:09:16.879
basis. You know, I think honestly, like when
00:09:16.879 --> 00:09:19.659
after I was done with all the actual like doctor
00:09:19.659 --> 00:09:22.019
mandated PT, like, hey, we've done the great
00:09:22.019 --> 00:09:24.720
for you. When I was doing the extra stuff to
00:09:24.720 --> 00:09:28.220
really get back into CrossFit specific things,
00:09:28.379 --> 00:09:30.820
I think that's when it felt so much easier to
00:09:30.820 --> 00:09:33.440
throw in the towel because I had back my every
00:09:33.440 --> 00:09:36.860
day. mobility, my everyday part of my life. You
00:09:36.860 --> 00:09:38.620
know, I could, I could do everything at home.
00:09:38.700 --> 00:09:42.539
The gym component was the limiter and it. There
00:09:42.539 --> 00:09:44.700
were days that I was like, this just isn't worth
00:09:44.700 --> 00:09:46.460
it anymore. Like, I'll figure it out, you know?
00:09:46.460 --> 00:09:48.740
Or like, we had to adapt a lot of things for
00:09:48.740 --> 00:09:51.840
a long time. And now I just, I don't even know
00:09:51.840 --> 00:09:53.940
the last time I picked up a barbell. There came
00:09:53.940 --> 00:09:57.220
a point that, yeah, 100%. I was like, this just
00:09:57.220 --> 00:09:59.820
isn't worth it anymore. And realizing like, that's
00:09:59.820 --> 00:10:02.700
also okay in that specific instance. I had given
00:10:02.700 --> 00:10:06.330
it everything possible. And going back to exactly
00:10:06.330 --> 00:10:08.389
the way that it was before wasn't an option.
00:10:08.490 --> 00:10:11.870
But I decided to make it a very long road to
00:10:11.870 --> 00:10:14.370
getting there before I made that decision and
00:10:14.370 --> 00:10:16.250
had to still do it. Yeah, you didn't sit back.
00:10:16.409 --> 00:10:19.889
No. Like you said, you did everything you could
00:10:19.889 --> 00:10:22.870
and realized where the new threshold was. Correct.
00:10:23.309 --> 00:10:25.309
Correct. And I felt like every day was finding
00:10:25.309 --> 00:10:27.029
a new threshold or every week it was finding
00:10:27.029 --> 00:10:29.649
a new threshold. Like I can lift to here. Now
00:10:29.649 --> 00:10:31.690
I found it. Okay. We're going to back off a little
00:10:31.690 --> 00:10:33.929
bit and now I can do this. And you know, all
00:10:33.929 --> 00:10:36.870
of these years later, it's, it's not actually
00:10:36.870 --> 00:10:40.210
my elbow and my bicep that caused me any problems.
00:10:40.529 --> 00:10:43.629
It's my shoulder and my trap. Like that's the
00:10:43.629 --> 00:10:46.970
part that actually is more of a residual leftover,
00:10:46.990 --> 00:10:50.710
if you will, residual injury than the elbow or
00:10:50.710 --> 00:10:53.429
the bicep, even though. Both of those sustained
00:10:53.429 --> 00:10:55.789
most of the injury. So it's just because our
00:10:55.789 --> 00:10:58.470
bodies are so connected and so intertwined and
00:10:58.470 --> 00:11:00.470
everything, you know, has to work together perfectly.
00:11:00.950 --> 00:11:03.460
That's... That's been hard to like swallow and
00:11:03.460 --> 00:11:05.740
figure out. But again, like I'm still learning
00:11:05.740 --> 00:11:07.980
new cool things that I can do that don't involve,
00:11:08.179 --> 00:11:10.019
you know, yeah, being on a pull -up bar or picking
00:11:10.019 --> 00:11:12.340
up a barbell. You just have to, you have to be
00:11:12.340 --> 00:11:14.940
intentional about finding the other options.
00:11:15.220 --> 00:11:17.820
And I think it's part of what we even talked
00:11:17.820 --> 00:11:19.960
about again this morning is like every problem
00:11:19.960 --> 00:11:22.840
has a solution. It's how you choose to look at
00:11:22.840 --> 00:11:25.980
it that's going to impact how you process and
00:11:25.980 --> 00:11:29.000
deal with it. If you are like, okay, I'm going
00:11:29.000 --> 00:11:31.929
to, yes, we have a problem. There's always problems.
00:11:32.049 --> 00:11:35.149
But am I going to look at it from just whining
00:11:35.149 --> 00:11:37.230
and complaining about here's my problem or throwing
00:11:37.230 --> 00:11:39.450
all of the worst options and the worst possible
00:11:39.450 --> 00:11:41.629
things that can happen in the middle of everything?
00:11:41.750 --> 00:11:44.309
Or am I going to go, okay, here is my problem.
00:11:44.470 --> 00:11:46.950
Here are, what is it? Our mentor Danelle says,
00:11:47.049 --> 00:11:48.669
what are the three things I can do right now
00:11:48.669 --> 00:11:50.990
to impact or make a difference in this problem?
00:11:51.169 --> 00:11:54.230
So those are all, it's all choices and how we
00:11:54.230 --> 00:11:56.789
choose to look at it. Yeah, and there's definitely
00:11:56.789 --> 00:12:01.450
a difference of playing to win versus playing
00:12:01.450 --> 00:12:04.490
not to lose. And we have to make that decision
00:12:04.490 --> 00:12:06.730
so many times a day in so many different areas
00:12:06.730 --> 00:12:08.830
of our lives and we probably do it and we don't
00:12:08.830 --> 00:12:10.769
even realize it. And I think if we would stop
00:12:10.769 --> 00:12:12.970
and think about what does that look like? Which
00:12:12.970 --> 00:12:15.549
way am I playing this? We might do some things
00:12:15.549 --> 00:12:18.750
differently or we might involve others earlier
00:12:18.750 --> 00:12:21.389
or we might ask for help earlier. I'm wrestling
00:12:21.389 --> 00:12:23.029
through that with a thing that I've got going
00:12:23.029 --> 00:12:25.850
on, you know, a project at work of like, I really
00:12:25.850 --> 00:12:27.649
probably need to go ahead. It's time to ask for
00:12:27.649 --> 00:12:30.500
help. You know, I've just been playing not to
00:12:30.500 --> 00:12:33.559
lose at this point about this, not playing to
00:12:33.559 --> 00:12:36.120
win it. And so I need to shift my mindset and
00:12:36.120 --> 00:12:38.960
figure out how do I change the situation? Yep.
00:12:38.980 --> 00:12:42.700
Well, and it's that temptation to go conservative,
00:12:42.779 --> 00:12:46.340
like what the team did, right? And I get asked
00:12:46.340 --> 00:12:49.759
a lot because I tweak my nutrition and my health
00:12:49.759 --> 00:12:52.360
and constantly make adjustments and get lab tests
00:12:52.360 --> 00:12:55.200
done and see what WHOOP recommendations are,
00:12:55.320 --> 00:12:58.120
what my primary care doctor's recommendations
00:12:58.120 --> 00:13:01.139
are, what's working, what's not, what do I sub
00:13:01.139 --> 00:13:04.200
out? And I've had a lot of people, including
00:13:04.200 --> 00:13:07.360
medical professionals, ask me like, why are you
00:13:07.360 --> 00:13:10.700
so intentionally focused on this? You've done
00:13:10.700 --> 00:13:13.879
so much or you've got all these things dialed
00:13:13.879 --> 00:13:16.480
in, like just... you know, freaking give it a
00:13:16.480 --> 00:13:18.539
rest, you know, and our we've like, we've got
00:13:18.539 --> 00:13:20.539
all these mentors that have these different sayings.
00:13:20.539 --> 00:13:23.840
So Glenn Lundy says always be on offense. right?
00:13:23.940 --> 00:13:26.019
That's the same thing as playing to win. Donnell
00:13:26.019 --> 00:13:28.899
talks about life as a forward fight, only do
00:13:28.899 --> 00:13:31.960
things that advance you forward, not backwards,
00:13:32.159 --> 00:13:34.539
right? That's not arguing for conservatism in
00:13:34.539 --> 00:13:37.480
that capacity either. And so it's one of those
00:13:37.480 --> 00:13:40.059
things where we talked about the cost of comparison,
00:13:40.259 --> 00:13:42.460
how it's a thief of joy. Comparison, there's
00:13:42.460 --> 00:13:45.000
that whole episode where you don't have to review
00:13:45.000 --> 00:13:47.759
it here. But with that premise, I could look
00:13:47.759 --> 00:13:50.200
at somebody else who's less disciplined and go,
00:13:50.279 --> 00:13:52.049
oh, well, yeah, I don't need to keep. looking
00:13:52.049 --> 00:13:54.169
at things to change or to adjust or whatever.
00:13:54.450 --> 00:13:57.429
And so there have been times where it has been
00:13:57.429 --> 00:14:00.809
tempting to stop a habit or sometimes those things
00:14:00.809 --> 00:14:03.809
can be pretty time consuming or affect your life
00:14:03.809 --> 00:14:05.970
in certain ways that make it really difficult
00:14:05.970 --> 00:14:08.049
sometimes to keep following through. But I think
00:14:08.049 --> 00:14:10.470
that's where if you identify the core habits
00:14:10.470 --> 00:14:13.090
that are the highest yield, the most like gratitude,
00:14:13.190 --> 00:14:15.190
for example, it's one of those things that I
00:14:15.190 --> 00:14:17.029
don't think I'll ever stop doing because I think
00:14:17.029 --> 00:14:21.299
the cost of time, which is 10, 15 minutes, The
00:14:21.299 --> 00:14:24.740
benefit way outweighs that cost, right? So you
00:14:24.740 --> 00:14:26.980
may look at this conversation and go, okay, it
00:14:26.980 --> 00:14:30.019
sounds like you're saying push forward, keep
00:14:30.019 --> 00:14:32.620
attacking, always play offense, hustle, hustle,
00:14:32.639 --> 00:14:34.820
hustle. So a natural critique here could be to
00:14:34.820 --> 00:14:36.500
be like, wait a minute, you guys, this is a little
00:14:36.500 --> 00:14:38.419
bit of whiplash because you guys just talked
00:14:38.419 --> 00:14:42.840
about how rest is important and over -optimizations
00:14:42.840 --> 00:14:46.879
is something that can be a risk. So how are you
00:14:46.879 --> 00:14:50.480
also saying now we have to just pedal? of the
00:14:50.480 --> 00:14:53.139
medal at all points. I want to make several distinctions
00:14:53.139 --> 00:14:55.899
about this. So first of all, I would argue that
00:14:55.899 --> 00:14:58.559
England didn't rest. There's a difference between,
00:14:58.659 --> 00:15:00.899
I mean, they could have all just sat on the bench.
00:15:00.980 --> 00:15:02.899
Obviously that's, that's hysterical. Like they
00:15:02.899 --> 00:15:05.759
wouldn't do that. But in this case, this was,
00:15:05.799 --> 00:15:09.200
this was different. playing in such a conservative
00:15:09.200 --> 00:15:12.659
manner can be linked to being overly conservative,
00:15:12.960 --> 00:15:16.120
fear -based, like really wanting to make sure
00:15:16.120 --> 00:15:18.019
that you protect, you know, park the bus, make
00:15:18.019 --> 00:15:19.840
sure the other person can't score so that you
00:15:19.840 --> 00:15:23.259
can bleed out the time and win versus just going
00:15:23.259 --> 00:15:26.379
full offense and just closing it out, right?
00:15:26.519 --> 00:15:29.320
So for us, for people of faith, you know, we
00:15:29.320 --> 00:15:31.240
believe that Sabbath and rest are commanded.
00:15:32.179 --> 00:15:36.340
Panic is not. In fact... Do not worry. And those
00:15:36.340 --> 00:15:39.639
kinds of things are also commands in there. But
00:15:39.639 --> 00:15:42.240
there's a difference between saying, I'm going
00:15:42.240 --> 00:15:46.220
to choose to recover or play so that I can do
00:15:46.220 --> 00:15:48.620
well tomorrow or execute well tomorrow versus
00:15:48.620 --> 00:15:52.019
saying, I'm going to do this so I hope nothing
00:15:52.019 --> 00:15:54.320
bad happens in the next, you know, just being
00:15:54.320 --> 00:15:57.519
in that like overly conservative posture there.
00:15:57.659 --> 00:16:01.639
So there is a juxtaposition between rest and
00:16:01.639 --> 00:16:04.590
fear -based action. which i would argue is the
00:16:04.590 --> 00:16:06.870
distinction there and i've had these conversations
00:16:06.870 --> 00:16:10.309
with employees at work as well so like you can
00:16:10.309 --> 00:16:12.929
listen to that initial message to someone saying
00:16:12.929 --> 00:16:14.929
you know always playing offense and always you
00:16:14.929 --> 00:16:16.590
know life is a forward fight and always do these
00:16:16.590 --> 00:16:18.669
things that's understanding that necessarily
00:16:19.370 --> 00:16:21.950
all in a work context might kind of get those
00:16:21.950 --> 00:16:24.509
things out of context. So let me frame it this
00:16:24.509 --> 00:16:26.690
way. I've told employees before when they're
00:16:26.690 --> 00:16:29.929
at work for eight to nine hours a day away from
00:16:29.929 --> 00:16:32.850
their families, that's a cost. They're trading
00:16:32.850 --> 00:16:35.750
their time for money and taking that time away
00:16:35.750 --> 00:16:38.210
from their kids, from their spouse, whatever.
00:16:38.370 --> 00:16:42.509
I would argue, and there's authors that I got
00:16:42.509 --> 00:16:45.490
this thought from, but... I would argue if you're
00:16:45.490 --> 00:16:48.789
not maximally intentional with that time that
00:16:48.789 --> 00:16:52.110
you are away from them, you are robbing them
00:16:52.110 --> 00:16:55.830
of you and wasting your time at work, if that's
00:16:55.830 --> 00:16:59.269
what you do. Whereas it's arguable that if you're
00:16:59.269 --> 00:17:02.519
at work, you should... focus on work and only
00:17:02.519 --> 00:17:04.799
work and how to do it in the most intentional
00:17:04.799 --> 00:17:07.980
way possible so that you do not squander the
00:17:07.980 --> 00:17:11.140
time that you are away from, particularly if
00:17:11.140 --> 00:17:12.799
you're in a commission -based job, obviously.
00:17:13.079 --> 00:17:14.579
Like if it's hourly, it's a little different.
00:17:14.799 --> 00:17:18.579
There's other reasons you should do your best
00:17:18.579 --> 00:17:21.180
work that we don't have time to have a conversation
00:17:21.180 --> 00:17:23.460
here about. But for specifically commissioned
00:17:23.460 --> 00:17:27.029
folk, like if you don't... have anything in your
00:17:27.029 --> 00:17:29.250
pipeline and you don't build it and you make
00:17:29.250 --> 00:17:32.710
barely anything, then that's even more true in
00:17:32.710 --> 00:17:35.329
that context. And I've heard plenty of people
00:17:35.329 --> 00:17:37.470
speak to that and books write about that. And
00:17:37.470 --> 00:17:40.890
I got to say, that is a powerful thing to reflect
00:17:40.890 --> 00:17:43.490
on if you're looking at that personally and you
00:17:43.490 --> 00:17:45.869
have enough humility to reflect on that honestly.
00:17:46.230 --> 00:17:49.339
As she talked about, sometimes... the difference
00:17:49.339 --> 00:17:52.660
between sloth mode, as you say, in a previous
00:17:52.660 --> 00:17:55.880
episode versus rest, right? I think we can all
00:17:55.880 --> 00:17:58.099
identify with that concept. I'll have you kind
00:17:58.099 --> 00:18:00.660
of expound on it because I think we all have
00:18:00.660 --> 00:18:04.740
moments where we kind of veg out and then the
00:18:04.740 --> 00:18:08.299
day's over and we don't feel rested, right? So
00:18:08.299 --> 00:18:11.319
draw us the distinction on how you view the difference
00:18:11.319 --> 00:18:14.500
between what you'd coined sloth mode that you
00:18:14.500 --> 00:18:18.099
can fall into. versus intentional rest that's
00:18:18.099 --> 00:18:20.220
actually restorative. Yeah. So I think I've kind
00:18:20.220 --> 00:18:22.200
of had to figure out what that looks like for
00:18:22.200 --> 00:18:25.720
me. I think for me, I've come to the distinction
00:18:25.720 --> 00:18:29.819
of like, the difference is that we aren't going.
00:18:30.380 --> 00:18:33.660
to work in a capacity of like on our businesses
00:18:33.660 --> 00:18:37.539
or we're not going to spend a lot of time like
00:18:37.539 --> 00:18:40.220
working on our computer. Let's, you know, this
00:18:40.220 --> 00:18:42.299
last weekend, like I spent time with friends
00:18:42.299 --> 00:18:44.700
and with family and you went to a men's conference
00:18:44.700 --> 00:18:47.140
and, you know, and then we had dinner with some
00:18:47.140 --> 00:18:50.599
other friends. Like that day was so restorative
00:18:50.599 --> 00:18:53.140
and restful for me because I was filling my cup
00:18:53.140 --> 00:18:56.059
with people. I was enjoying that time with them.
00:18:56.119 --> 00:18:58.220
And then yesterday it was like, okay, well now
00:18:58.220 --> 00:19:01.049
we have things to do. And that doesn't mean that
00:19:01.049 --> 00:19:04.289
I'm not going to work on chores or whatever that
00:19:04.289 --> 00:19:05.470
that might look like. A couple of weeks ago,
00:19:05.609 --> 00:19:08.230
we had friends over to watch the World Cup final.
00:19:08.430 --> 00:19:11.210
And so that meant that the day before, I was
00:19:11.210 --> 00:19:13.690
doing some other deep cleaning and I was preparing
00:19:13.690 --> 00:19:15.190
for the party and I was doing other things. But
00:19:15.190 --> 00:19:18.569
that was restful for me in a way that on the
00:19:18.569 --> 00:19:20.369
other side of the day, I was like, well, I'm
00:19:20.369 --> 00:19:24.990
tired, but I'm rested. My soul is full. And I
00:19:24.990 --> 00:19:27.910
think that's the distinction is, have I done
00:19:27.910 --> 00:19:31.150
something that has... filled my cup, filled my,
00:19:31.230 --> 00:19:32.849
if you're a believer, like that language will
00:19:32.849 --> 00:19:35.509
make sense to you. You know, have I done something
00:19:35.509 --> 00:19:39.720
that was. restorative and engaging and fun. It
00:19:39.720 --> 00:19:42.460
doesn't mean that I sit in my chair on my phone
00:19:42.460 --> 00:19:45.819
all day or I'm just watching TV. That could mean
00:19:45.819 --> 00:19:48.900
engaging with friends, going to do some shopping
00:19:48.900 --> 00:19:51.460
if that's something that you love, going to see
00:19:51.460 --> 00:19:54.400
a movie, going for a hike, finding fun free things
00:19:54.400 --> 00:19:58.700
to do in your area, going for a drive, playing
00:19:58.700 --> 00:20:01.640
a game, whatever that that looks like. We just
00:20:01.640 --> 00:20:03.480
had to start making this distinction between
00:20:03.480 --> 00:20:06.619
spending all of this time on our computers and
00:20:06.619 --> 00:20:09.460
working versus realizing like oh we're we're
00:20:09.460 --> 00:20:11.420
not spending as much time with people as I would
00:20:11.420 --> 00:20:14.799
like we're not going and doing things that were
00:20:14.799 --> 00:20:17.779
yeah that were filling my my cup I was starting
00:20:17.779 --> 00:20:20.140
to feel a little bit drained even though like
00:20:20.140 --> 00:20:23.559
I wasn't going anywhere but that that became
00:20:23.559 --> 00:20:26.740
not fulfilling anymore, I guess, you know, and
00:20:26.740 --> 00:20:29.039
have been really like processing through what
00:20:29.039 --> 00:20:30.920
that means in my own life. And actually, but
00:20:30.920 --> 00:20:34.220
my dear friend on Saturday night at dinner actually
00:20:34.220 --> 00:20:36.799
said, well, you know, as she was processing a
00:20:36.799 --> 00:20:39.710
big loss and grief in her life. The year before,
00:20:39.849 --> 00:20:42.789
she said, home was my safe space. Home was where
00:20:42.789 --> 00:20:46.170
I could grieve and process and be willing to
00:20:46.170 --> 00:20:49.390
step into that. And it was my safe space. I needed
00:20:49.390 --> 00:20:52.109
time to do that. And I think that was probably
00:20:52.109 --> 00:20:54.690
some of the biggest, it made me like breathe
00:20:54.690 --> 00:20:56.710
a sigh of relief. I was like, have we forgotten
00:20:56.710 --> 00:20:59.569
how to have fun? Like, I don't think that's true.
00:20:59.960 --> 00:21:03.000
But it feels like maybe that we have. But I think
00:21:03.000 --> 00:21:05.700
that something kind of shifted from like, I was
00:21:05.700 --> 00:21:07.799
super content being at home for a long time.
00:21:07.839 --> 00:21:09.460
And I'm realizing that I think that that probably
00:21:09.460 --> 00:21:12.640
was the processing of the grief. And that was
00:21:12.640 --> 00:21:16.059
home was safe, home was restorative. And now
00:21:16.059 --> 00:21:19.559
have hit a spot where like that grief is lessened
00:21:19.559 --> 00:21:22.880
and I'm ready to go back to the adventures and
00:21:22.880 --> 00:21:26.130
the fun. And so I think that's, yeah, that. That
00:21:26.130 --> 00:21:28.430
for me is the difference between the sloth rest
00:21:28.430 --> 00:21:31.329
and the resting to restore. Yeah. I mean, what
00:21:31.329 --> 00:21:33.990
a powerful way to frame that. I absolutely agree.
00:21:34.269 --> 00:21:38.069
And so I think this leads us into how those kinds
00:21:38.069 --> 00:21:40.609
of behaviors can potentially leave you vulnerable
00:21:40.609 --> 00:21:44.710
to attack. In the game sense, it would be that
00:21:44.710 --> 00:21:47.269
left them vulnerable to Argentina, obviously.
00:21:48.809 --> 00:21:51.210
The original post framed it this way, like never
00:21:51.210 --> 00:21:53.549
invite the competition to your doorstep. And
00:21:53.549 --> 00:21:56.349
so in this example, in the game, Argentina was
00:21:56.349 --> 00:22:00.250
actually planning for England's fast attackers
00:22:00.250 --> 00:22:03.670
to be subbed into the game. And so they were
00:22:03.670 --> 00:22:07.230
braced for England's top dudes coming in and
00:22:07.230 --> 00:22:10.460
they never did. And so they were like. OK, so
00:22:10.460 --> 00:22:13.019
they went they actually one of their players
00:22:13.019 --> 00:22:16.200
that was meant to be more of a defender got to
00:22:16.200 --> 00:22:18.400
actually be more aggressive. And what Scaloni
00:22:18.400 --> 00:22:20.819
said in his own words was he saw blood in the
00:22:20.819 --> 00:22:22.740
water. And so they were like, awesome. Like,
00:22:22.779 --> 00:22:25.460
let's just capitalize on it. Now, us being CrossFit
00:22:25.460 --> 00:22:27.180
fans, I mean, we've watched the CrossFit games
00:22:27.180 --> 00:22:30.359
for a long time. And this kind of this this conversation
00:22:30.359 --> 00:22:32.900
happens in competition a lot where like they
00:22:32.900 --> 00:22:35.859
can you know, if you can see that that a competitor
00:22:35.859 --> 00:22:38.980
is struggling or having a hard time, then. And
00:22:38.980 --> 00:22:42.400
that can almost motivate those types of people,
00:22:42.559 --> 00:22:45.359
especially competitors, and go, okay, well, I
00:22:45.359 --> 00:22:47.539
know we're both hurting, but he looks like he's
00:22:47.539 --> 00:22:49.859
hurting more. So if I can push that, I can exploit
00:22:49.859 --> 00:22:52.579
it and then I can win. And so it's like reading
00:22:52.579 --> 00:22:55.160
the notes, you know? And if you're saying, well,
00:22:55.319 --> 00:22:58.180
what's my competition in my context? It can be
00:22:58.180 --> 00:23:01.019
a lot of things. For personal things, it can
00:23:01.019 --> 00:23:03.720
be your relationships. They can suffer if you're
00:23:03.720 --> 00:23:07.460
not intentional or focusing on them, right? Or
00:23:07.460 --> 00:23:09.990
your health. aging, those kinds of things. Like
00:23:09.990 --> 00:23:12.789
if you're not being intentional with your health,
00:23:12.890 --> 00:23:16.750
then you may have a very intense doctor's appointment
00:23:16.750 --> 00:23:18.789
sometime in the future where he has to break
00:23:18.789 --> 00:23:21.009
it to you that you have some things that you
00:23:21.009 --> 00:23:23.789
don't want to hear. And so if you invest daily
00:23:23.789 --> 00:23:27.670
now, which is hard work, then you can potentially
00:23:27.670 --> 00:23:31.049
avoid a big hard thing later. And that's the
00:23:31.049 --> 00:23:33.609
whole concept of choosing your heart is where
00:23:33.609 --> 00:23:36.240
that comes from. Yeah, I think I even remember
00:23:36.240 --> 00:23:38.559
in one of the CrossFit Games documentaries, Matt
00:23:38.559 --> 00:23:42.160
Fraser talking about like he came into a Games
00:23:42.160 --> 00:23:46.759
with an injury and told no one. No one knew he
00:23:46.759 --> 00:23:49.980
was injured because he knew if they smelled blood
00:23:49.980 --> 00:23:52.460
in the water and they thought even for just the
00:23:52.460 --> 00:23:55.819
tiny little amount that he might not be able
00:23:55.819 --> 00:23:58.289
to live up to. I think this was like. number
00:23:58.289 --> 00:24:01.410
four or five, right? He had been in the space
00:24:01.410 --> 00:24:03.930
for a while and people knew his mentality. People
00:24:03.930 --> 00:24:06.269
knew what kind of a competitor he was. And he
00:24:06.269 --> 00:24:09.150
knew if they smelled blood in the water, it would
00:24:09.150 --> 00:24:13.829
end his, it had the potential to end his unbeaten
00:24:13.829 --> 00:24:17.529
streak. So he said nothing to no one and dealt
00:24:17.529 --> 00:24:20.369
with it on his own all weekend. I don't even
00:24:20.369 --> 00:24:24.390
think his coach or his spouse or anybody knew
00:24:24.390 --> 00:24:26.299
he was hurt till later. because he didn't even
00:24:26.299 --> 00:24:29.940
want to give them an opportunity. And I think
00:24:29.940 --> 00:24:32.220
for him mentally, first of all, he's one of the
00:24:32.220 --> 00:24:34.900
most incredible, intense competitors I have ever
00:24:34.900 --> 00:24:37.079
watched when it comes to his mentality and how
00:24:37.079 --> 00:24:40.380
relentless and ruthless that he is. But I think
00:24:40.380 --> 00:24:42.240
it was even one of those things that he was unwilling
00:24:42.240 --> 00:24:46.200
to even speak it out. loud he was unwilling to
00:24:46.200 --> 00:24:49.660
give it any kind of power in the room and i think
00:24:49.660 --> 00:24:52.539
that is that is knowing himself that's knowing
00:24:52.539 --> 00:24:55.640
other people and i if i remember i could be wrong
00:24:55.640 --> 00:24:58.660
i i might be wrong about this but if i remember
00:24:58.660 --> 00:25:00.839
correctly it was one of the years he won by the
00:25:00.839 --> 00:25:05.140
largest margin like he he was unwilling to even
00:25:05.140 --> 00:25:08.700
give it weight like It's probably one of the
00:25:08.700 --> 00:25:11.559
the coolest things about him was like once you
00:25:11.559 --> 00:25:13.480
found that out later when everybody's nobody
00:25:13.480 --> 00:25:16.259
knew till the documentary came out it like post
00:25:16.259 --> 00:25:20.279
interviews post done all the things, that's when
00:25:20.279 --> 00:25:22.720
it came out that he had been injured and kicked
00:25:22.720 --> 00:25:25.420
everybody, even injured. Yeah. Well, and the
00:25:25.420 --> 00:25:28.240
competitors, when you hear them talk about him,
00:25:28.359 --> 00:25:31.480
he was somebody that was unbeatable to a certain
00:25:31.480 --> 00:25:34.400
extent in their minds. And so because of that,
00:25:34.500 --> 00:25:37.579
that gave him obviously a tremendous advantage.
00:25:37.680 --> 00:25:40.680
And by being pretty private about it, like you
00:25:40.680 --> 00:25:43.880
said, I mean, he was able to keep that away from
00:25:43.880 --> 00:25:46.519
them. And arguably, I don't know if he still
00:25:46.519 --> 00:25:48.930
would have won. but it definitely would have
00:25:48.930 --> 00:25:51.390
been a closer margin for sure. So that leads
00:25:51.390 --> 00:25:54.589
us to the last point that he made, which was
00:25:54.589 --> 00:25:58.549
about courage. And the point was that courage
00:25:58.549 --> 00:26:00.910
changes everything. Winston Churchill, he gives
00:26:00.910 --> 00:26:03.109
a Winston Churchill quote here of courage is
00:26:03.109 --> 00:26:06.009
rightly esteemed the first of human qualities
00:26:06.009 --> 00:26:08.690
because it's the quality which guarantees all
00:26:08.690 --> 00:26:13.200
others, which is a super powerful quote. I would
00:26:13.200 --> 00:26:15.019
frame it this way. I've had it described to me
00:26:15.019 --> 00:26:19.359
that people naturally pursue comfort. And when
00:26:19.359 --> 00:26:22.089
you do that. That also means a certain degree
00:26:22.089 --> 00:26:25.730
of avoidance of the uncomfortable, which is not
00:26:25.730 --> 00:26:27.670
having the conversation you need to have with
00:26:27.670 --> 00:26:29.809
your spouse, with your kids, with your employer,
00:26:29.890 --> 00:26:32.390
with your employee, with your peer, whatever
00:26:32.390 --> 00:26:35.970
it is. Avoiding the hard things to avoid the
00:26:35.970 --> 00:26:38.630
cold call, the sales call, the whatever. Call
00:26:38.630 --> 00:26:41.069
reluctance is a real thing. I remember that in
00:26:41.069 --> 00:26:43.309
so many jobs that people would be too scared
00:26:43.309 --> 00:26:45.549
to call the guest and tell them what they needed
00:26:45.549 --> 00:26:49.819
to hear. Whatever conflict or thing that you're
00:26:49.819 --> 00:26:53.660
avoiding, a lot of mentors will say is where
00:26:53.660 --> 00:26:57.559
your largest opportunity for growth and maturity
00:26:57.559 --> 00:27:02.279
are. It's like they hold your avoidance and comfort
00:27:02.279 --> 00:27:05.279
are actually locking your potential. They're
00:27:05.279 --> 00:27:08.119
holding the keys to what you could unlock. And
00:27:08.119 --> 00:27:12.000
that has so much truth to it. You could watch
00:27:12.000 --> 00:27:14.920
hours of inspirational content that speak to
00:27:14.920 --> 00:27:18.099
this. You said in episode 42, Ashley, that to
00:27:18.099 --> 00:27:21.440
be kind is to be clear, right? That idea of avoiding
00:27:21.440 --> 00:27:24.000
a hard conversation feels like the nice thing
00:27:24.000 --> 00:27:26.759
to do, the kind thing to do, but it really isn't
00:27:26.759 --> 00:27:30.380
because actually having the conversation lets
00:27:30.380 --> 00:27:33.079
you and the other party know where things are
00:27:33.079 --> 00:27:35.619
at and then can potentially push through that.
00:27:35.799 --> 00:27:39.619
So an easy way to execute on this from an application
00:27:39.619 --> 00:27:42.930
standpoint is looking at, you know, what thing
00:27:42.930 --> 00:27:45.569
are you avoiding? Usually you don't have to dig
00:27:45.569 --> 00:27:49.190
too deep to know what tasks, what people, what
00:27:49.190 --> 00:27:52.869
conversations, whatever things that you're avoiding
00:27:52.869 --> 00:27:56.309
has a huge potential to take you to the next
00:27:56.309 --> 00:28:00.039
level in something. You're right. It is. it feels
00:28:00.039 --> 00:28:02.220
so much easier to not have those conversations
00:28:02.220 --> 00:28:04.500
I also think like we build them up in our own
00:28:04.500 --> 00:28:07.079
mind about how hard they're going to be or how
00:28:07.079 --> 00:28:09.279
difficult this is going to be or we have the
00:28:09.279 --> 00:28:11.460
conversation thinking we know how the other person's
00:28:11.460 --> 00:28:14.279
going to react and respond and eight times out
00:28:14.279 --> 00:28:16.960
of ten it's nowhere near close to how we had
00:28:16.960 --> 00:28:18.759
this whole conversation in our mind so if we
00:28:18.759 --> 00:28:21.440
would have just had it initially like we've built
00:28:21.440 --> 00:28:23.559
it up to be way bigger of a thing in our brains
00:28:24.079 --> 00:28:26.859
than it actually is. Or by the time we get there,
00:28:26.920 --> 00:28:28.859
we're so stressed out about it that then, you
00:28:28.859 --> 00:28:31.819
know, we come across way different than we may
00:28:31.819 --> 00:28:33.759
be meant to because we've been mulling this whole
00:28:33.759 --> 00:28:36.400
thing over when really... It could have just
00:28:36.400 --> 00:28:39.180
been a way simpler, less formal conversation
00:28:39.180 --> 00:28:44.039
or way more of an inquiry of a conversation rather
00:28:44.039 --> 00:28:47.279
than this, what tends to be more aggressive by
00:28:47.279 --> 00:28:48.700
the time that we get there and we finally get
00:28:48.700 --> 00:28:50.180
the courage to actually have the conversation.
00:28:50.460 --> 00:28:51.839
You know, this is actually one of the things
00:28:51.839 --> 00:28:55.200
that our management team at work has really worked
00:28:55.200 --> 00:28:57.920
hard on over the last several years is being
00:28:57.920 --> 00:29:00.700
willing to have the conversation, to ask the
00:29:00.700 --> 00:29:03.480
questions. If you want an answer to something,
00:29:03.579 --> 00:29:06.650
just go ask the question. right like we're here
00:29:06.650 --> 00:29:08.569
to help each other and we've learned that so
00:29:08.569 --> 00:29:11.029
often over the years like you know, it's way
00:29:11.029 --> 00:29:13.029
easier to just literally just go have this straight
00:29:13.029 --> 00:29:14.970
up conversation. Like less and less of the time
00:29:14.970 --> 00:29:17.269
now do we hang on to something and then wait
00:29:17.269 --> 00:29:20.089
to ask them or to ask for help or to inquire
00:29:20.089 --> 00:29:22.089
about something. Like we don't hang on to those
00:29:22.089 --> 00:29:24.549
things as long anymore. Like we utilize the resources
00:29:24.549 --> 00:29:26.470
around us and we want to help each other. And
00:29:26.470 --> 00:29:28.609
we know that each other has the best interest
00:29:28.609 --> 00:29:31.609
of our fellow managers and of the dealership
00:29:31.609 --> 00:29:34.349
at heart. And so I think that because we have
00:29:34.349 --> 00:29:36.569
practiced it, it has gotten easier. It's just
00:29:36.569 --> 00:29:38.970
like a rep in the gym, right? Like it becomes
00:29:38.970 --> 00:29:40.980
easy. and easier and easier the more that you
00:29:40.980 --> 00:29:43.480
do it. And so I think that, yeah, courage is
00:29:43.480 --> 00:29:45.380
one of those things that becomes, Danelle talks
00:29:45.380 --> 00:29:47.839
about this, it becomes easier the more that you
00:29:47.839 --> 00:29:51.140
do it. And so find something to be, yeah, to
00:29:51.140 --> 00:29:54.089
be courageous about. Yeah, so powerful. And you
00:29:54.089 --> 00:29:55.890
may be thinking at this point, you're like, man,
00:29:55.930 --> 00:29:57.650
this is a little dramatic for a football match.
00:29:57.789 --> 00:30:01.089
And the Post actually recognizes that and says,
00:30:01.289 --> 00:30:05.609
yes, but the principles in this idea are real.
00:30:05.769 --> 00:30:09.250
And the final lesson that he draws out in this
00:30:09.250 --> 00:30:12.549
is you don't win by protecting a lead. You win
00:30:12.549 --> 00:30:16.000
by continuing to play to win. And I think. That
00:30:16.000 --> 00:30:19.319
is so powerful in not just a, you know, sport
00:30:19.319 --> 00:30:22.319
context, but also in a work context. And then
00:30:22.319 --> 00:30:24.980
like we talked about so often in the personal
00:30:24.980 --> 00:30:28.180
context, oftentimes I think personal can be even
00:30:28.180 --> 00:30:30.859
more important to, to put a work into than, than
00:30:30.859 --> 00:30:33.700
professional, because if you're a better, more
00:30:33.700 --> 00:30:37.319
whole person personally, you will be better professionally
00:30:37.319 --> 00:30:41.140
automatically as well. So the challenge is obviously
00:30:41.140 --> 00:30:43.650
if you're behind. You already know you have to
00:30:43.650 --> 00:30:46.329
fight for the lead. That's almost like a lot
00:30:46.329 --> 00:30:48.500
of competitors will tell you they'd rather. try
00:30:48.500 --> 00:30:51.440
to win from behind than to be the one in the
00:30:51.440 --> 00:30:55.000
lead. And we'll talk about F1 in future episodes.
00:30:55.059 --> 00:30:57.900
I'm sure we're huge F1 fans. But when you're
00:30:57.900 --> 00:31:00.519
in front, you have to set the pace. And there's
00:31:00.519 --> 00:31:02.900
certain things where you're like, man, there's
00:31:02.900 --> 00:31:04.900
a stress in that that you don't have when you're
00:31:04.900 --> 00:31:08.059
chasing someone down. And so it's a completely
00:31:08.059 --> 00:31:11.279
different posture. And so for the person who's
00:31:11.279 --> 00:31:13.339
in the lead, that's why it's dangerous. That's
00:31:13.339 --> 00:31:15.660
why they say it's a dangerous score. So daily,
00:31:15.720 --> 00:31:19.039
anything does change. everything if you're willing
00:31:19.039 --> 00:31:21.299
to put in the work. And it doesn't have to be
00:31:21.299 --> 00:31:23.599
drastic work. It just has to be daily incremental
00:31:23.599 --> 00:31:26.059
work. And that's why we believe in it so much.
00:31:26.180 --> 00:31:28.180
So thanks for listening to the Optimizing Beyond
00:31:28.180 --> 00:31:31.079
podcast. Remember, growth happens when you take
00:31:31.079 --> 00:31:33.440
action. So subscribe, share this with a friend,
00:31:33.460 --> 00:31:35.500
and most importantly, put what you learned into
00:31:35.500 --> 00:31:38.039
practice. Because as we know, daily anything
00:31:38.039 --> 00:31:39.519
changes everything.
00:00:02.089 --> 00:00:05.230
Welcome to the Optimizing Beyond podcast. I'm
00:00:05.230 --> 00:00:07.389
Josh Negron, and this show is all about sharing
00:00:07.389 --> 00:00:11.109
lessons, ideas, and strategies that sharpen your
00:00:11.109 --> 00:00:13.949
thinking, strengthen your habits, and push you
00:00:13.949 --> 00:00:17.030
to grow beyond comfort zones. Let's dive in.
00:00:21.359 --> 00:00:23.859
Welcome back to the show. Today I'm joined by
00:00:23.859 --> 00:00:26.519
Ashley, again, my co -host. And we were just
00:00:26.519 --> 00:00:29.219
enamored by the World Cup this month and wanted
00:00:29.219 --> 00:00:31.460
to talk about some of the things that, especially
00:00:31.460 --> 00:00:33.659
being new to the sport, will be humble and say
00:00:33.659 --> 00:00:35.560
things that we noticed. And we came across a
00:00:35.560 --> 00:00:38.500
post. on X that kind of discussed specifically
00:00:38.500 --> 00:00:41.600
the England -Argentina semifinal game. And we
00:00:41.600 --> 00:00:43.320
thought there were some good lessons there that
00:00:43.320 --> 00:00:45.859
would fit the Optimizing Beyond brand here. So
00:00:45.859 --> 00:00:48.000
without further ado, let's get to it. Welcome
00:00:48.000 --> 00:00:50.500
back, Ashley. Yes, thank you. Yeah, like you
00:00:50.500 --> 00:00:53.759
said, we know nothing about soccer or football,
00:00:53.979 --> 00:00:56.939
if you will. My exposure to that is watching
00:00:56.939 --> 00:00:59.759
Ted Lasso. You know, I mean, I've... I didn't
00:00:59.759 --> 00:01:02.780
grow up around it and didn't understand it, if
00:01:02.780 --> 00:01:05.319
I'm being honest. A lot of it is you just watch
00:01:05.319 --> 00:01:08.079
people run around on a... field for a really
00:01:08.079 --> 00:01:10.579
long time and nothing really happens and it goes
00:01:10.579 --> 00:01:13.180
on for a really long time right but then we actually
00:01:13.180 --> 00:01:15.540
had a friend who had played in high school and
00:01:15.540 --> 00:01:18.180
a little bit in college who took the time to
00:01:18.180 --> 00:01:21.719
show and explain and we actually watched a game
00:01:21.719 --> 00:01:24.540
together and like we would he would stop the
00:01:24.540 --> 00:01:27.000
tv and be like you know vayna white and show
00:01:27.000 --> 00:01:28.599
us all the things and teach us about the game
00:01:28.599 --> 00:01:31.120
and then it was like it became so much more enjoyable
00:01:31.120 --> 00:01:35.040
because I understood the game. And, you know,
00:01:35.079 --> 00:01:37.379
I think there are a million life lessons that
00:01:37.379 --> 00:01:40.340
can even be gleaned from that, right? Like, yeah.
00:01:40.480 --> 00:01:43.239
And so it just became so much more fun. And then
00:01:43.239 --> 00:01:45.640
also watching all of the people come to the U
00:01:45.640 --> 00:01:48.519
.S. and how much fun that they were having experiencing
00:01:48.519 --> 00:01:53.519
the U .S. It made social media so fun for that
00:01:53.519 --> 00:01:57.120
month, however long that was. It made it so much
00:01:57.120 --> 00:01:59.519
fun to just watch all of those posts. And yeah,
00:01:59.599 --> 00:02:02.120
we, as a friend said, I'm really glad it's...
00:02:02.189 --> 00:02:03.730
Every four years or we would get nothing done
00:02:03.730 --> 00:02:07.069
because we watched a lot of football. We did.
00:02:07.090 --> 00:02:09.370
We did. And we're super thankful for Trey, who's
00:02:09.370 --> 00:02:11.509
been a guest on this show before, walking us
00:02:11.509 --> 00:02:14.150
through like all the simple things like what
00:02:14.150 --> 00:02:17.090
the heck is offsides? You know, like Ted Lasso
00:02:17.090 --> 00:02:18.930
jokes in the show that he doesn't know what that
00:02:18.930 --> 00:02:20.909
is. Asking a ref. No, no, really. Like, what
00:02:20.909 --> 00:02:23.110
is it? Show me. Can you tell me what that is?
00:02:23.169 --> 00:02:26.069
And so it was it made it make so much more sense.
00:02:26.560 --> 00:02:28.939
Because in our mindset, we're like, why don't
00:02:28.939 --> 00:02:31.719
you go for the goal? Why is he getting in trouble?
00:02:31.860 --> 00:02:34.080
It doesn't make any sense. And so it was really
00:02:34.080 --> 00:02:36.860
fun to kind of get into it, especially in an
00:02:36.860 --> 00:02:38.759
event that only happens every four years. It
00:02:38.759 --> 00:02:42.180
obviously has like an Olympic style feel to it.
00:02:42.240 --> 00:02:43.680
And that's something you and I enjoy to watch
00:02:43.680 --> 00:02:45.800
every couple of years when they come around.
00:02:45.919 --> 00:02:49.120
So in this specific scenario, and I'll link the
00:02:49.120 --> 00:02:51.800
original post down below in the comments, but
00:02:51.800 --> 00:02:54.500
the X post was talking about this match that
00:02:54.500 --> 00:02:57.729
happened in the semifinals. between England and
00:02:57.729 --> 00:03:00.090
Argentina on July 15th. And if anyone watched
00:03:00.090 --> 00:03:02.409
that game, they know that England was up, right?
00:03:02.550 --> 00:03:05.349
And so it was a big deal because England hadn't
00:03:05.349 --> 00:03:10.669
been in the final since 1966 is what I saw. And
00:03:10.669 --> 00:03:13.650
so it was a big deal for them to do that. And
00:03:13.650 --> 00:03:16.169
I've got a couple of friends that are really
00:03:16.169 --> 00:03:20.009
into soccer. And they mentioned how being 2 -0,
00:03:20.090 --> 00:03:23.069
like leading by two or one is like the most dangerous
00:03:23.069 --> 00:03:26.330
score because then you... got all this time for
00:03:26.330 --> 00:03:27.750
the other two you know you don't know what they're
00:03:27.750 --> 00:03:29.090
going to do and how they're going to do it and
00:03:29.090 --> 00:03:30.810
so it's just interesting hearing that language
00:03:30.810 --> 00:03:34.090
and then the guy who scored the goal was taken
00:03:34.090 --> 00:03:37.270
off by the coach and then another defender was
00:03:37.270 --> 00:03:39.969
put on so you have five five defenders in the
00:03:39.969 --> 00:03:42.610
back which is just a very defensive posture from
00:03:42.610 --> 00:03:45.090
what i understand and he's got back five with
00:03:45.090 --> 00:03:47.710
30 minutes left plus extra time if there is any.
00:03:47.789 --> 00:03:50.530
And then a second wave of defensive subs, like
00:03:50.530 --> 00:03:53.909
it was definitely what could be interpreted as
00:03:53.909 --> 00:03:56.889
a really defensive play. So you're ahead. Now
00:03:56.889 --> 00:03:58.949
all we got to do is just wait it out, right?
00:03:59.069 --> 00:04:01.550
Is kind of what it feels like that approach was.
00:04:01.689 --> 00:04:04.949
And then what's the result? They basically possessed
00:04:04.949 --> 00:04:08.530
the ball less than 12 % of the rest of the game.
00:04:08.629 --> 00:04:11.330
And then no surprise, Argentina, who's famous
00:04:11.330 --> 00:04:14.789
for coming back in the last 15 to 12 minutes,
00:04:14.969 --> 00:04:18.410
does what they do and totally equalizes it and
00:04:18.410 --> 00:04:21.389
then capitalizes on it. And one of the points
00:04:21.389 --> 00:04:25.470
that was made in this X post was that the job's
00:04:25.470 --> 00:04:28.279
not done. It was one observation, right? And
00:04:28.279 --> 00:04:32.000
so just because you have made some progress towards
00:04:32.000 --> 00:04:34.500
your goal or you've accomplished something or
00:04:34.500 --> 00:04:37.399
even closed the deal that the job's not done.
00:04:37.560 --> 00:04:39.180
You know, how important is follow through? How
00:04:39.180 --> 00:04:41.720
important for salespeople is follow up? We hear
00:04:41.720 --> 00:04:44.360
that a lot in the sales business that we're in
00:04:44.360 --> 00:04:47.079
or even something like yesterday's win doesn't
00:04:47.079 --> 00:04:51.379
buy today's win, right? Or matter today. In the
00:04:51.379 --> 00:04:53.120
car business, we talk about at the beginning
00:04:53.120 --> 00:04:55.040
of the month, it doesn't matter what you sold
00:04:55.040 --> 00:04:57.959
last month. You're back to what? Zero. Zero.
00:04:58.240 --> 00:05:01.160
That's right. From hero to zero. So with that
00:05:01.160 --> 00:05:03.339
idea, Ashley, how did that, how did you view
00:05:03.339 --> 00:05:05.060
that? Yeah, well, what's interesting is it actually
00:05:05.060 --> 00:05:06.519
makes me think about a conversation that we had
00:05:06.519 --> 00:05:09.680
today in a meeting around like finishing what
00:05:09.680 --> 00:05:12.779
you start. So many of us are great at starting
00:05:12.779 --> 00:05:15.279
things, but then we get distracted. We get discouraged.
00:05:15.740 --> 00:05:18.579
We start becoming defensive. We start, you know,
00:05:18.579 --> 00:05:20.839
approaching things from a defensive posture instead
00:05:20.839 --> 00:05:22.920
of an offensive posture. And so I think that
00:05:22.920 --> 00:05:24.959
plays out for so many of us in so many things.
00:05:24.980 --> 00:05:27.500
Like we start great. start losing weight. Awesome.
00:05:27.639 --> 00:05:30.879
We start eating healthy. Great. And then something
00:05:30.879 --> 00:05:33.379
happens and you know, you have a rough day. So
00:05:33.379 --> 00:05:34.680
you're like, well, I'm going to just, you know,
00:05:34.699 --> 00:05:36.360
I'm going to just eat this. I'm going to go run
00:05:36.360 --> 00:05:38.220
through this drive -thru real quick. Or, you
00:05:38.220 --> 00:05:40.579
know, or you stay late at work or something comes
00:05:40.579 --> 00:05:42.579
up and then you are on your way home. And I'm
00:05:42.579 --> 00:05:43.779
like, well, I don't feel like cooking now. So
00:05:43.779 --> 00:05:45.100
I'm just going to grab this drive -thru, you
00:05:45.100 --> 00:05:47.779
know, like whatever that that is. It's so easy
00:05:47.779 --> 00:05:50.980
to start something and so much more difficult
00:05:50.980 --> 00:05:54.319
to finish it. Especially if I feel like deadlines
00:05:54.319 --> 00:05:57.430
are arbitrary. right? Like, you know, even like
00:05:57.430 --> 00:05:58.949
thinking about for me right now, something that
00:05:58.949 --> 00:06:01.170
I'm wrestling with is like, I know that I need
00:06:01.170 --> 00:06:03.189
to start working on packing certain things in
00:06:03.189 --> 00:06:05.149
this house, but that feels like forever away.
00:06:05.269 --> 00:06:09.009
So I'm not doing it, but what I'm doing is setting
00:06:09.009 --> 00:06:12.259
myself up. for a crazy month of November and
00:06:12.259 --> 00:06:15.879
December if I don't start now, right? And so
00:06:15.879 --> 00:06:18.420
you have to, I think there's that combination
00:06:18.420 --> 00:06:22.019
of like, you have to set your own arbitrary deadlines
00:06:22.019 --> 00:06:25.279
and hold yourself to them as if they were something
00:06:25.279 --> 00:06:28.079
that actually, you know, that the deadline for
00:06:28.079 --> 00:06:31.240
moving was in a month rather than in four or
00:06:31.240 --> 00:06:33.300
whatever that that's going to look like. And
00:06:33.300 --> 00:06:37.500
so... I think it's just so easy to, yeah, begin
00:06:37.500 --> 00:06:41.339
playing even the game of life, if you will, from
00:06:41.339 --> 00:06:44.199
that defensive posture of now, oh, I got here.
00:06:44.399 --> 00:06:47.079
Now I just have to wait it out till here. And
00:06:47.079 --> 00:06:49.500
I think we all do that in different areas of
00:06:49.500 --> 00:06:51.040
our lives. And that looks different for everybody.
00:06:51.220 --> 00:06:54.180
Yeah. And that also goes with the accomplishment
00:06:54.180 --> 00:06:57.779
mindset that sometimes you're lulled into when
00:06:57.779 --> 00:06:59.860
you've been doing well in something. So for example,
00:06:59.980 --> 00:07:03.439
let's say that you've been eating really well.
00:07:03.560 --> 00:07:06.420
for a certain period of time. It's easy. I mean,
00:07:06.439 --> 00:07:10.019
we're justifying machines as humans. And so we're
00:07:10.019 --> 00:07:13.379
really good at rationalizing or justifying. So
00:07:13.379 --> 00:07:15.980
in the health context, in the nutrition or fitness
00:07:15.980 --> 00:07:19.079
space, it's easy to speak to. You're like, well,
00:07:19.139 --> 00:07:22.860
I haven't cheated in three weeks. So it's almost
00:07:22.860 --> 00:07:25.879
easy to... to let yourself off the hook is kind
00:07:25.879 --> 00:07:28.879
of what you were describing. And so that follow
00:07:28.879 --> 00:07:30.980
through and that finishing well is so critical
00:07:30.980 --> 00:07:34.199
and not something that comes naturally or is
00:07:34.199 --> 00:07:36.779
always pretty easy, you know, for most people.
00:07:36.899 --> 00:07:39.519
And so that's why I really love the phrase daily
00:07:39.519 --> 00:07:42.579
anything changes everything because you're putting
00:07:42.579 --> 00:07:45.680
yourself in the daily habit of executing. And
00:07:45.680 --> 00:07:48.980
when I talk about the nutrition or the fitness
00:07:48.980 --> 00:07:50.879
space, like I have a lot of people that have
00:07:50.879 --> 00:07:53.660
conversations with me about in that arena. And
00:07:53.660 --> 00:07:55.699
I'm asked often like, hey, I'm thinking about
00:07:55.699 --> 00:07:58.600
trying this. And it's usually something extremely
00:07:58.600 --> 00:08:01.560
aggressive. Most of the time, especially if they're
00:08:01.560 --> 00:08:03.240
a beginner, it's biting off more than they can
00:08:03.240 --> 00:08:06.500
chew, likely more than they can execute comfortably
00:08:06.500 --> 00:08:09.939
or even reasonably. And it's probably something
00:08:09.939 --> 00:08:11.980
that they're that I know they're setting themselves
00:08:11.980 --> 00:08:15.420
up for failure. And so I know they're going to
00:08:15.420 --> 00:08:18.740
have a hard time finishing what they start in
00:08:18.740 --> 00:08:22.959
that arena. So when we focus on those daily incremental
00:08:22.959 --> 00:08:26.100
gains, I feel like that's where so much more
00:08:26.100 --> 00:08:29.699
of the power is. And that causes the compound
00:08:29.699 --> 00:08:32.019
growth in the direction that you want. Whereas
00:08:32.019 --> 00:08:35.429
in this example, it kind of seems like. They
00:08:35.429 --> 00:08:37.970
were taking their foot off the gas or at least
00:08:37.970 --> 00:08:42.269
going defensive. And in that posture, it's tough
00:08:42.269 --> 00:08:45.269
to win something when you're not playing to win.
00:08:45.429 --> 00:08:47.690
You're playing not to lose, which is a totally
00:08:47.690 --> 00:08:49.330
different thing. And there's a reason why that's
00:08:49.330 --> 00:08:51.830
a cliche. And that's something that people say
00:08:51.830 --> 00:08:55.250
because it's real. Was there ever a time, Ashley,
00:08:55.330 --> 00:08:57.330
in your elbow recovery that you talked about
00:08:57.330 --> 00:09:01.250
recently where you were tempted to kind of be
00:09:01.250 --> 00:09:03.970
like, meh, that's good enough and not push it
00:09:03.970 --> 00:09:06.620
any further? farther as far as, you know, your
00:09:06.620 --> 00:09:09.019
PT or your recovery? Because obviously you talked
00:09:09.019 --> 00:09:11.820
about how difficult that road was and how challenging
00:09:11.820 --> 00:09:14.080
it was to execute that on a daily and weekly
00:09:14.080 --> 00:09:16.879
basis. You know, I think honestly, like when
00:09:16.879 --> 00:09:19.659
after I was done with all the actual like doctor
00:09:19.659 --> 00:09:22.019
mandated PT, like, hey, we've done the great
00:09:22.019 --> 00:09:24.720
for you. When I was doing the extra stuff to
00:09:24.720 --> 00:09:28.220
really get back into CrossFit specific things,
00:09:28.379 --> 00:09:30.820
I think that's when it felt so much easier to
00:09:30.820 --> 00:09:33.440
throw in the towel because I had back my every
00:09:33.440 --> 00:09:36.860
day. mobility, my everyday part of my life. You
00:09:36.860 --> 00:09:38.620
know, I could, I could do everything at home.
00:09:38.700 --> 00:09:42.539
The gym component was the limiter and it. There
00:09:42.539 --> 00:09:44.700
were days that I was like, this just isn't worth
00:09:44.700 --> 00:09:46.460
it anymore. Like, I'll figure it out, you know?
00:09:46.460 --> 00:09:48.740
Or like, we had to adapt a lot of things for
00:09:48.740 --> 00:09:51.840
a long time. And now I just, I don't even know
00:09:51.840 --> 00:09:53.940
the last time I picked up a barbell. There came
00:09:53.940 --> 00:09:57.220
a point that, yeah, 100%. I was like, this just
00:09:57.220 --> 00:09:59.820
isn't worth it anymore. And realizing like, that's
00:09:59.820 --> 00:10:02.700
also okay in that specific instance. I had given
00:10:02.700 --> 00:10:06.330
it everything possible. And going back to exactly
00:10:06.330 --> 00:10:08.389
the way that it was before wasn't an option.
00:10:08.490 --> 00:10:11.870
But I decided to make it a very long road to
00:10:11.870 --> 00:10:14.370
getting there before I made that decision and
00:10:14.370 --> 00:10:16.250
had to still do it. Yeah, you didn't sit back.
00:10:16.409 --> 00:10:19.889
No. Like you said, you did everything you could
00:10:19.889 --> 00:10:22.870
and realized where the new threshold was. Correct.
00:10:23.309 --> 00:10:25.309
Correct. And I felt like every day was finding
00:10:25.309 --> 00:10:27.029
a new threshold or every week it was finding
00:10:27.029 --> 00:10:29.649
a new threshold. Like I can lift to here. Now
00:10:29.649 --> 00:10:31.690
I found it. Okay. We're going to back off a little
00:10:31.690 --> 00:10:33.929
bit and now I can do this. And you know, all
00:10:33.929 --> 00:10:36.870
of these years later, it's, it's not actually
00:10:36.870 --> 00:10:40.210
my elbow and my bicep that caused me any problems.
00:10:40.529 --> 00:10:43.629
It's my shoulder and my trap. Like that's the
00:10:43.629 --> 00:10:46.970
part that actually is more of a residual leftover,
00:10:46.990 --> 00:10:50.710
if you will, residual injury than the elbow or
00:10:50.710 --> 00:10:53.429
the bicep, even though. Both of those sustained
00:10:53.429 --> 00:10:55.789
most of the injury. So it's just because our
00:10:55.789 --> 00:10:58.470
bodies are so connected and so intertwined and
00:10:58.470 --> 00:11:00.470
everything, you know, has to work together perfectly.
00:11:00.950 --> 00:11:03.460
That's... That's been hard to like swallow and
00:11:03.460 --> 00:11:05.740
figure out. But again, like I'm still learning
00:11:05.740 --> 00:11:07.980
new cool things that I can do that don't involve,
00:11:08.179 --> 00:11:10.019
you know, yeah, being on a pull -up bar or picking
00:11:10.019 --> 00:11:12.340
up a barbell. You just have to, you have to be
00:11:12.340 --> 00:11:14.940
intentional about finding the other options.
00:11:15.220 --> 00:11:17.820
And I think it's part of what we even talked
00:11:17.820 --> 00:11:19.960
about again this morning is like every problem
00:11:19.960 --> 00:11:22.840
has a solution. It's how you choose to look at
00:11:22.840 --> 00:11:25.980
it that's going to impact how you process and
00:11:25.980 --> 00:11:29.000
deal with it. If you are like, okay, I'm going
00:11:29.000 --> 00:11:31.929
to, yes, we have a problem. There's always problems.
00:11:32.049 --> 00:11:35.149
But am I going to look at it from just whining
00:11:35.149 --> 00:11:37.230
and complaining about here's my problem or throwing
00:11:37.230 --> 00:11:39.450
all of the worst options and the worst possible
00:11:39.450 --> 00:11:41.629
things that can happen in the middle of everything?
00:11:41.750 --> 00:11:44.309
Or am I going to go, okay, here is my problem.
00:11:44.470 --> 00:11:46.950
Here are, what is it? Our mentor Danelle says,
00:11:47.049 --> 00:11:48.669
what are the three things I can do right now
00:11:48.669 --> 00:11:50.990
to impact or make a difference in this problem?
00:11:51.169 --> 00:11:54.230
So those are all, it's all choices and how we
00:11:54.230 --> 00:11:56.789
choose to look at it. Yeah, and there's definitely
00:11:56.789 --> 00:12:01.450
a difference of playing to win versus playing
00:12:01.450 --> 00:12:04.490
not to lose. And we have to make that decision
00:12:04.490 --> 00:12:06.730
so many times a day in so many different areas
00:12:06.730 --> 00:12:08.830
of our lives and we probably do it and we don't
00:12:08.830 --> 00:12:10.769
even realize it. And I think if we would stop
00:12:10.769 --> 00:12:12.970
and think about what does that look like? Which
00:12:12.970 --> 00:12:15.549
way am I playing this? We might do some things
00:12:15.549 --> 00:12:18.750
differently or we might involve others earlier
00:12:18.750 --> 00:12:21.389
or we might ask for help earlier. I'm wrestling
00:12:21.389 --> 00:12:23.029
through that with a thing that I've got going
00:12:23.029 --> 00:12:25.850
on, you know, a project at work of like, I really
00:12:25.850 --> 00:12:27.649
probably need to go ahead. It's time to ask for
00:12:27.649 --> 00:12:30.500
help. You know, I've just been playing not to
00:12:30.500 --> 00:12:33.559
lose at this point about this, not playing to
00:12:33.559 --> 00:12:36.120
win it. And so I need to shift my mindset and
00:12:36.120 --> 00:12:38.960
figure out how do I change the situation? Yep.
00:12:38.980 --> 00:12:42.700
Well, and it's that temptation to go conservative,
00:12:42.779 --> 00:12:46.340
like what the team did, right? And I get asked
00:12:46.340 --> 00:12:49.759
a lot because I tweak my nutrition and my health
00:12:49.759 --> 00:12:52.360
and constantly make adjustments and get lab tests
00:12:52.360 --> 00:12:55.200
done and see what WHOOP recommendations are,
00:12:55.320 --> 00:12:58.120
what my primary care doctor's recommendations
00:12:58.120 --> 00:13:01.139
are, what's working, what's not, what do I sub
00:13:01.139 --> 00:13:04.200
out? And I've had a lot of people, including
00:13:04.200 --> 00:13:07.360
medical professionals, ask me like, why are you
00:13:07.360 --> 00:13:10.700
so intentionally focused on this? You've done
00:13:10.700 --> 00:13:13.879
so much or you've got all these things dialed
00:13:13.879 --> 00:13:16.480
in, like just... you know, freaking give it a
00:13:16.480 --> 00:13:18.539
rest, you know, and our we've like, we've got
00:13:18.539 --> 00:13:20.539
all these mentors that have these different sayings.
00:13:20.539 --> 00:13:23.840
So Glenn Lundy says always be on offense. right?
00:13:23.940 --> 00:13:26.019
That's the same thing as playing to win. Donnell
00:13:26.019 --> 00:13:28.899
talks about life as a forward fight, only do
00:13:28.899 --> 00:13:31.960
things that advance you forward, not backwards,
00:13:32.159 --> 00:13:34.539
right? That's not arguing for conservatism in
00:13:34.539 --> 00:13:37.480
that capacity either. And so it's one of those
00:13:37.480 --> 00:13:40.059
things where we talked about the cost of comparison,
00:13:40.259 --> 00:13:42.460
how it's a thief of joy. Comparison, there's
00:13:42.460 --> 00:13:45.000
that whole episode where you don't have to review
00:13:45.000 --> 00:13:47.759
it here. But with that premise, I could look
00:13:47.759 --> 00:13:50.200
at somebody else who's less disciplined and go,
00:13:50.279 --> 00:13:52.049
oh, well, yeah, I don't need to keep. looking
00:13:52.049 --> 00:13:54.169
at things to change or to adjust or whatever.
00:13:54.450 --> 00:13:57.429
And so there have been times where it has been
00:13:57.429 --> 00:14:00.809
tempting to stop a habit or sometimes those things
00:14:00.809 --> 00:14:03.809
can be pretty time consuming or affect your life
00:14:03.809 --> 00:14:05.970
in certain ways that make it really difficult
00:14:05.970 --> 00:14:08.049
sometimes to keep following through. But I think
00:14:08.049 --> 00:14:10.470
that's where if you identify the core habits
00:14:10.470 --> 00:14:13.090
that are the highest yield, the most like gratitude,
00:14:13.190 --> 00:14:15.190
for example, it's one of those things that I
00:14:15.190 --> 00:14:17.029
don't think I'll ever stop doing because I think
00:14:17.029 --> 00:14:21.299
the cost of time, which is 10, 15 minutes, The
00:14:21.299 --> 00:14:24.740
benefit way outweighs that cost, right? So you
00:14:24.740 --> 00:14:26.980
may look at this conversation and go, okay, it
00:14:26.980 --> 00:14:30.019
sounds like you're saying push forward, keep
00:14:30.019 --> 00:14:32.620
attacking, always play offense, hustle, hustle,
00:14:32.639 --> 00:14:34.820
hustle. So a natural critique here could be to
00:14:34.820 --> 00:14:36.500
be like, wait a minute, you guys, this is a little
00:14:36.500 --> 00:14:38.419
bit of whiplash because you guys just talked
00:14:38.419 --> 00:14:42.840
about how rest is important and over -optimizations
00:14:42.840 --> 00:14:46.879
is something that can be a risk. So how are you
00:14:46.879 --> 00:14:50.480
also saying now we have to just pedal? of the
00:14:50.480 --> 00:14:53.139
medal at all points. I want to make several distinctions
00:14:53.139 --> 00:14:55.899
about this. So first of all, I would argue that
00:14:55.899 --> 00:14:58.559
England didn't rest. There's a difference between,
00:14:58.659 --> 00:15:00.899
I mean, they could have all just sat on the bench.
00:15:00.980 --> 00:15:02.899
Obviously that's, that's hysterical. Like they
00:15:02.899 --> 00:15:05.759
wouldn't do that. But in this case, this was,
00:15:05.799 --> 00:15:09.200
this was different. playing in such a conservative
00:15:09.200 --> 00:15:12.659
manner can be linked to being overly conservative,
00:15:12.960 --> 00:15:16.120
fear -based, like really wanting to make sure
00:15:16.120 --> 00:15:18.019
that you protect, you know, park the bus, make
00:15:18.019 --> 00:15:19.840
sure the other person can't score so that you
00:15:19.840 --> 00:15:23.259
can bleed out the time and win versus just going
00:15:23.259 --> 00:15:26.379
full offense and just closing it out, right?
00:15:26.519 --> 00:15:29.320
So for us, for people of faith, you know, we
00:15:29.320 --> 00:15:31.240
believe that Sabbath and rest are commanded.
00:15:32.179 --> 00:15:36.340
Panic is not. In fact... Do not worry. And those
00:15:36.340 --> 00:15:39.639
kinds of things are also commands in there. But
00:15:39.639 --> 00:15:42.240
there's a difference between saying, I'm going
00:15:42.240 --> 00:15:46.220
to choose to recover or play so that I can do
00:15:46.220 --> 00:15:48.620
well tomorrow or execute well tomorrow versus
00:15:48.620 --> 00:15:52.019
saying, I'm going to do this so I hope nothing
00:15:52.019 --> 00:15:54.320
bad happens in the next, you know, just being
00:15:54.320 --> 00:15:57.519
in that like overly conservative posture there.
00:15:57.659 --> 00:16:01.639
So there is a juxtaposition between rest and
00:16:01.639 --> 00:16:04.590
fear -based action. which i would argue is the
00:16:04.590 --> 00:16:06.870
distinction there and i've had these conversations
00:16:06.870 --> 00:16:10.309
with employees at work as well so like you can
00:16:10.309 --> 00:16:12.929
listen to that initial message to someone saying
00:16:12.929 --> 00:16:14.929
you know always playing offense and always you
00:16:14.929 --> 00:16:16.590
know life is a forward fight and always do these
00:16:16.590 --> 00:16:18.669
things that's understanding that necessarily
00:16:19.370 --> 00:16:21.950
all in a work context might kind of get those
00:16:21.950 --> 00:16:24.509
things out of context. So let me frame it this
00:16:24.509 --> 00:16:26.690
way. I've told employees before when they're
00:16:26.690 --> 00:16:29.929
at work for eight to nine hours a day away from
00:16:29.929 --> 00:16:32.850
their families, that's a cost. They're trading
00:16:32.850 --> 00:16:35.750
their time for money and taking that time away
00:16:35.750 --> 00:16:38.210
from their kids, from their spouse, whatever.
00:16:38.370 --> 00:16:42.509
I would argue, and there's authors that I got
00:16:42.509 --> 00:16:45.490
this thought from, but... I would argue if you're
00:16:45.490 --> 00:16:48.789
not maximally intentional with that time that
00:16:48.789 --> 00:16:52.110
you are away from them, you are robbing them
00:16:52.110 --> 00:16:55.830
of you and wasting your time at work, if that's
00:16:55.830 --> 00:16:59.269
what you do. Whereas it's arguable that if you're
00:16:59.269 --> 00:17:02.519
at work, you should... focus on work and only
00:17:02.519 --> 00:17:04.799
work and how to do it in the most intentional
00:17:04.799 --> 00:17:07.980
way possible so that you do not squander the
00:17:07.980 --> 00:17:11.140
time that you are away from, particularly if
00:17:11.140 --> 00:17:12.799
you're in a commission -based job, obviously.
00:17:13.079 --> 00:17:14.579
Like if it's hourly, it's a little different.
00:17:14.799 --> 00:17:18.579
There's other reasons you should do your best
00:17:18.579 --> 00:17:21.180
work that we don't have time to have a conversation
00:17:21.180 --> 00:17:23.460
here about. But for specifically commissioned
00:17:23.460 --> 00:17:27.029
folk, like if you don't... have anything in your
00:17:27.029 --> 00:17:29.250
pipeline and you don't build it and you make
00:17:29.250 --> 00:17:32.710
barely anything, then that's even more true in
00:17:32.710 --> 00:17:35.329
that context. And I've heard plenty of people
00:17:35.329 --> 00:17:37.470
speak to that and books write about that. And
00:17:37.470 --> 00:17:40.890
I got to say, that is a powerful thing to reflect
00:17:40.890 --> 00:17:43.490
on if you're looking at that personally and you
00:17:43.490 --> 00:17:45.869
have enough humility to reflect on that honestly.
00:17:46.230 --> 00:17:49.339
As she talked about, sometimes... the difference
00:17:49.339 --> 00:17:52.660
between sloth mode, as you say, in a previous
00:17:52.660 --> 00:17:55.880
episode versus rest, right? I think we can all
00:17:55.880 --> 00:17:58.099
identify with that concept. I'll have you kind
00:17:58.099 --> 00:18:00.660
of expound on it because I think we all have
00:18:00.660 --> 00:18:04.740
moments where we kind of veg out and then the
00:18:04.740 --> 00:18:08.299
day's over and we don't feel rested, right? So
00:18:08.299 --> 00:18:11.319
draw us the distinction on how you view the difference
00:18:11.319 --> 00:18:14.500
between what you'd coined sloth mode that you
00:18:14.500 --> 00:18:18.099
can fall into. versus intentional rest that's
00:18:18.099 --> 00:18:20.220
actually restorative. Yeah. So I think I've kind
00:18:20.220 --> 00:18:22.200
of had to figure out what that looks like for
00:18:22.200 --> 00:18:25.720
me. I think for me, I've come to the distinction
00:18:25.720 --> 00:18:29.819
of like, the difference is that we aren't going.
00:18:30.380 --> 00:18:33.660
to work in a capacity of like on our businesses
00:18:33.660 --> 00:18:37.539
or we're not going to spend a lot of time like
00:18:37.539 --> 00:18:40.220
working on our computer. Let's, you know, this
00:18:40.220 --> 00:18:42.299
last weekend, like I spent time with friends
00:18:42.299 --> 00:18:44.700
and with family and you went to a men's conference
00:18:44.700 --> 00:18:47.140
and, you know, and then we had dinner with some
00:18:47.140 --> 00:18:50.599
other friends. Like that day was so restorative
00:18:50.599 --> 00:18:53.140
and restful for me because I was filling my cup
00:18:53.140 --> 00:18:56.059
with people. I was enjoying that time with them.
00:18:56.119 --> 00:18:58.220
And then yesterday it was like, okay, well now
00:18:58.220 --> 00:19:01.049
we have things to do. And that doesn't mean that
00:19:01.049 --> 00:19:04.289
I'm not going to work on chores or whatever that
00:19:04.289 --> 00:19:05.470
that might look like. A couple of weeks ago,
00:19:05.609 --> 00:19:08.230
we had friends over to watch the World Cup final.
00:19:08.430 --> 00:19:11.210
And so that meant that the day before, I was
00:19:11.210 --> 00:19:13.690
doing some other deep cleaning and I was preparing
00:19:13.690 --> 00:19:15.190
for the party and I was doing other things. But
00:19:15.190 --> 00:19:18.569
that was restful for me in a way that on the
00:19:18.569 --> 00:19:20.369
other side of the day, I was like, well, I'm
00:19:20.369 --> 00:19:24.990
tired, but I'm rested. My soul is full. And I
00:19:24.990 --> 00:19:27.910
think that's the distinction is, have I done
00:19:27.910 --> 00:19:31.150
something that has... filled my cup, filled my,
00:19:31.230 --> 00:19:32.849
if you're a believer, like that language will
00:19:32.849 --> 00:19:35.509
make sense to you. You know, have I done something
00:19:35.509 --> 00:19:39.720
that was. restorative and engaging and fun. It
00:19:39.720 --> 00:19:42.460
doesn't mean that I sit in my chair on my phone
00:19:42.460 --> 00:19:45.819
all day or I'm just watching TV. That could mean
00:19:45.819 --> 00:19:48.900
engaging with friends, going to do some shopping
00:19:48.900 --> 00:19:51.460
if that's something that you love, going to see
00:19:51.460 --> 00:19:54.400
a movie, going for a hike, finding fun free things
00:19:54.400 --> 00:19:58.700
to do in your area, going for a drive, playing
00:19:58.700 --> 00:20:01.640
a game, whatever that that looks like. We just
00:20:01.640 --> 00:20:03.480
had to start making this distinction between
00:20:03.480 --> 00:20:06.619
spending all of this time on our computers and
00:20:06.619 --> 00:20:09.460
working versus realizing like oh we're we're
00:20:09.460 --> 00:20:11.420
not spending as much time with people as I would
00:20:11.420 --> 00:20:14.799
like we're not going and doing things that were
00:20:14.799 --> 00:20:17.779
yeah that were filling my my cup I was starting
00:20:17.779 --> 00:20:20.140
to feel a little bit drained even though like
00:20:20.140 --> 00:20:23.559
I wasn't going anywhere but that that became
00:20:23.559 --> 00:20:26.740
not fulfilling anymore, I guess, you know, and
00:20:26.740 --> 00:20:29.039
have been really like processing through what
00:20:29.039 --> 00:20:30.920
that means in my own life. And actually, but
00:20:30.920 --> 00:20:34.220
my dear friend on Saturday night at dinner actually
00:20:34.220 --> 00:20:36.799
said, well, you know, as she was processing a
00:20:36.799 --> 00:20:39.710
big loss and grief in her life. The year before,
00:20:39.849 --> 00:20:42.789
she said, home was my safe space. Home was where
00:20:42.789 --> 00:20:46.170
I could grieve and process and be willing to
00:20:46.170 --> 00:20:49.390
step into that. And it was my safe space. I needed
00:20:49.390 --> 00:20:52.109
time to do that. And I think that was probably
00:20:52.109 --> 00:20:54.690
some of the biggest, it made me like breathe
00:20:54.690 --> 00:20:56.710
a sigh of relief. I was like, have we forgotten
00:20:56.710 --> 00:20:59.569
how to have fun? Like, I don't think that's true.
00:20:59.960 --> 00:21:03.000
But it feels like maybe that we have. But I think
00:21:03.000 --> 00:21:05.700
that something kind of shifted from like, I was
00:21:05.700 --> 00:21:07.799
super content being at home for a long time.
00:21:07.839 --> 00:21:09.460
And I'm realizing that I think that that probably
00:21:09.460 --> 00:21:12.640
was the processing of the grief. And that was
00:21:12.640 --> 00:21:16.059
home was safe, home was restorative. And now
00:21:16.059 --> 00:21:19.559
have hit a spot where like that grief is lessened
00:21:19.559 --> 00:21:22.880
and I'm ready to go back to the adventures and
00:21:22.880 --> 00:21:26.130
the fun. And so I think that's, yeah, that. That
00:21:26.130 --> 00:21:28.430
for me is the difference between the sloth rest
00:21:28.430 --> 00:21:31.329
and the resting to restore. Yeah. I mean, what
00:21:31.329 --> 00:21:33.990
a powerful way to frame that. I absolutely agree.
00:21:34.269 --> 00:21:38.069
And so I think this leads us into how those kinds
00:21:38.069 --> 00:21:40.609
of behaviors can potentially leave you vulnerable
00:21:40.609 --> 00:21:44.710
to attack. In the game sense, it would be that
00:21:44.710 --> 00:21:47.269
left them vulnerable to Argentina, obviously.
00:21:48.809 --> 00:21:51.210
The original post framed it this way, like never
00:21:51.210 --> 00:21:53.549
invite the competition to your doorstep. And
00:21:53.549 --> 00:21:56.349
so in this example, in the game, Argentina was
00:21:56.349 --> 00:22:00.250
actually planning for England's fast attackers
00:22:00.250 --> 00:22:03.670
to be subbed into the game. And so they were
00:22:03.670 --> 00:22:07.230
braced for England's top dudes coming in and
00:22:07.230 --> 00:22:10.460
they never did. And so they were like. OK, so
00:22:10.460 --> 00:22:13.019
they went they actually one of their players
00:22:13.019 --> 00:22:16.200
that was meant to be more of a defender got to
00:22:16.200 --> 00:22:18.400
actually be more aggressive. And what Scaloni
00:22:18.400 --> 00:22:20.819
said in his own words was he saw blood in the
00:22:20.819 --> 00:22:22.740
water. And so they were like, awesome. Like,
00:22:22.779 --> 00:22:25.460
let's just capitalize on it. Now, us being CrossFit
00:22:25.460 --> 00:22:27.180
fans, I mean, we've watched the CrossFit games
00:22:27.180 --> 00:22:30.359
for a long time. And this kind of this this conversation
00:22:30.359 --> 00:22:32.900
happens in competition a lot where like they
00:22:32.900 --> 00:22:35.859
can you know, if you can see that that a competitor
00:22:35.859 --> 00:22:38.980
is struggling or having a hard time, then. And
00:22:38.980 --> 00:22:42.400
that can almost motivate those types of people,
00:22:42.559 --> 00:22:45.359
especially competitors, and go, okay, well, I
00:22:45.359 --> 00:22:47.539
know we're both hurting, but he looks like he's
00:22:47.539 --> 00:22:49.859
hurting more. So if I can push that, I can exploit
00:22:49.859 --> 00:22:52.579
it and then I can win. And so it's like reading
00:22:52.579 --> 00:22:55.160
the notes, you know? And if you're saying, well,
00:22:55.319 --> 00:22:58.180
what's my competition in my context? It can be
00:22:58.180 --> 00:23:01.019
a lot of things. For personal things, it can
00:23:01.019 --> 00:23:03.720
be your relationships. They can suffer if you're
00:23:03.720 --> 00:23:07.460
not intentional or focusing on them, right? Or
00:23:07.460 --> 00:23:09.990
your health. aging, those kinds of things. Like
00:23:09.990 --> 00:23:12.789
if you're not being intentional with your health,
00:23:12.890 --> 00:23:16.750
then you may have a very intense doctor's appointment
00:23:16.750 --> 00:23:18.789
sometime in the future where he has to break
00:23:18.789 --> 00:23:21.009
it to you that you have some things that you
00:23:21.009 --> 00:23:23.789
don't want to hear. And so if you invest daily
00:23:23.789 --> 00:23:27.670
now, which is hard work, then you can potentially
00:23:27.670 --> 00:23:31.049
avoid a big hard thing later. And that's the
00:23:31.049 --> 00:23:33.609
whole concept of choosing your heart is where
00:23:33.609 --> 00:23:36.240
that comes from. Yeah, I think I even remember
00:23:36.240 --> 00:23:38.559
in one of the CrossFit Games documentaries, Matt
00:23:38.559 --> 00:23:42.160
Fraser talking about like he came into a Games
00:23:42.160 --> 00:23:46.759
with an injury and told no one. No one knew he
00:23:46.759 --> 00:23:49.980
was injured because he knew if they smelled blood
00:23:49.980 --> 00:23:52.460
in the water and they thought even for just the
00:23:52.460 --> 00:23:55.819
tiny little amount that he might not be able
00:23:55.819 --> 00:23:58.289
to live up to. I think this was like. number
00:23:58.289 --> 00:24:01.410
four or five, right? He had been in the space
00:24:01.410 --> 00:24:03.930
for a while and people knew his mentality. People
00:24:03.930 --> 00:24:06.269
knew what kind of a competitor he was. And he
00:24:06.269 --> 00:24:09.150
knew if they smelled blood in the water, it would
00:24:09.150 --> 00:24:13.829
end his, it had the potential to end his unbeaten
00:24:13.829 --> 00:24:17.529
streak. So he said nothing to no one and dealt
00:24:17.529 --> 00:24:20.369
with it on his own all weekend. I don't even
00:24:20.369 --> 00:24:24.390
think his coach or his spouse or anybody knew
00:24:24.390 --> 00:24:26.299
he was hurt till later. because he didn't even
00:24:26.299 --> 00:24:29.940
want to give them an opportunity. And I think
00:24:29.940 --> 00:24:32.220
for him mentally, first of all, he's one of the
00:24:32.220 --> 00:24:34.900
most incredible, intense competitors I have ever
00:24:34.900 --> 00:24:37.079
watched when it comes to his mentality and how
00:24:37.079 --> 00:24:40.380
relentless and ruthless that he is. But I think
00:24:40.380 --> 00:24:42.240
it was even one of those things that he was unwilling
00:24:42.240 --> 00:24:46.200
to even speak it out. loud he was unwilling to
00:24:46.200 --> 00:24:49.660
give it any kind of power in the room and i think
00:24:49.660 --> 00:24:52.539
that is that is knowing himself that's knowing
00:24:52.539 --> 00:24:55.640
other people and i if i remember i could be wrong
00:24:55.640 --> 00:24:58.660
i i might be wrong about this but if i remember
00:24:58.660 --> 00:25:00.839
correctly it was one of the years he won by the
00:25:00.839 --> 00:25:05.140
largest margin like he he was unwilling to even
00:25:05.140 --> 00:25:08.700
give it weight like It's probably one of the
00:25:08.700 --> 00:25:11.559
the coolest things about him was like once you
00:25:11.559 --> 00:25:13.480
found that out later when everybody's nobody
00:25:13.480 --> 00:25:16.259
knew till the documentary came out it like post
00:25:16.259 --> 00:25:20.279
interviews post done all the things, that's when
00:25:20.279 --> 00:25:22.720
it came out that he had been injured and kicked
00:25:22.720 --> 00:25:25.420
everybody, even injured. Yeah. Well, and the
00:25:25.420 --> 00:25:28.240
competitors, when you hear them talk about him,
00:25:28.359 --> 00:25:31.480
he was somebody that was unbeatable to a certain
00:25:31.480 --> 00:25:34.400
extent in their minds. And so because of that,
00:25:34.500 --> 00:25:37.579
that gave him obviously a tremendous advantage.
00:25:37.680 --> 00:25:40.680
And by being pretty private about it, like you
00:25:40.680 --> 00:25:43.880
said, I mean, he was able to keep that away from
00:25:43.880 --> 00:25:46.519
them. And arguably, I don't know if he still
00:25:46.519 --> 00:25:48.930
would have won. but it definitely would have
00:25:48.930 --> 00:25:51.390
been a closer margin for sure. So that leads
00:25:51.390 --> 00:25:54.589
us to the last point that he made, which was
00:25:54.589 --> 00:25:58.549
about courage. And the point was that courage
00:25:58.549 --> 00:26:00.910
changes everything. Winston Churchill, he gives
00:26:00.910 --> 00:26:03.109
a Winston Churchill quote here of courage is
00:26:03.109 --> 00:26:06.009
rightly esteemed the first of human qualities
00:26:06.009 --> 00:26:08.690
because it's the quality which guarantees all
00:26:08.690 --> 00:26:13.200
others, which is a super powerful quote. I would
00:26:13.200 --> 00:26:15.019
frame it this way. I've had it described to me
00:26:15.019 --> 00:26:19.359
that people naturally pursue comfort. And when
00:26:19.359 --> 00:26:22.089
you do that. That also means a certain degree
00:26:22.089 --> 00:26:25.730
of avoidance of the uncomfortable, which is not
00:26:25.730 --> 00:26:27.670
having the conversation you need to have with
00:26:27.670 --> 00:26:29.809
your spouse, with your kids, with your employer,
00:26:29.890 --> 00:26:32.390
with your employee, with your peer, whatever
00:26:32.390 --> 00:26:35.970
it is. Avoiding the hard things to avoid the
00:26:35.970 --> 00:26:38.630
cold call, the sales call, the whatever. Call
00:26:38.630 --> 00:26:41.069
reluctance is a real thing. I remember that in
00:26:41.069 --> 00:26:43.309
so many jobs that people would be too scared
00:26:43.309 --> 00:26:45.549
to call the guest and tell them what they needed
00:26:45.549 --> 00:26:49.819
to hear. Whatever conflict or thing that you're
00:26:49.819 --> 00:26:53.660
avoiding, a lot of mentors will say is where
00:26:53.660 --> 00:26:57.559
your largest opportunity for growth and maturity
00:26:57.559 --> 00:27:02.279
are. It's like they hold your avoidance and comfort
00:27:02.279 --> 00:27:05.279
are actually locking your potential. They're
00:27:05.279 --> 00:27:08.119
holding the keys to what you could unlock. And
00:27:08.119 --> 00:27:12.000
that has so much truth to it. You could watch
00:27:12.000 --> 00:27:14.920
hours of inspirational content that speak to
00:27:14.920 --> 00:27:18.099
this. You said in episode 42, Ashley, that to
00:27:18.099 --> 00:27:21.440
be kind is to be clear, right? That idea of avoiding
00:27:21.440 --> 00:27:24.000
a hard conversation feels like the nice thing
00:27:24.000 --> 00:27:26.759
to do, the kind thing to do, but it really isn't
00:27:26.759 --> 00:27:30.380
because actually having the conversation lets
00:27:30.380 --> 00:27:33.079
you and the other party know where things are
00:27:33.079 --> 00:27:35.619
at and then can potentially push through that.
00:27:35.799 --> 00:27:39.619
So an easy way to execute on this from an application
00:27:39.619 --> 00:27:42.930
standpoint is looking at, you know, what thing
00:27:42.930 --> 00:27:45.569
are you avoiding? Usually you don't have to dig
00:27:45.569 --> 00:27:49.190
too deep to know what tasks, what people, what
00:27:49.190 --> 00:27:52.869
conversations, whatever things that you're avoiding
00:27:52.869 --> 00:27:56.309
has a huge potential to take you to the next
00:27:56.309 --> 00:28:00.039
level in something. You're right. It is. it feels
00:28:00.039 --> 00:28:02.220
so much easier to not have those conversations
00:28:02.220 --> 00:28:04.500
I also think like we build them up in our own
00:28:04.500 --> 00:28:07.079
mind about how hard they're going to be or how
00:28:07.079 --> 00:28:09.279
difficult this is going to be or we have the
00:28:09.279 --> 00:28:11.460
conversation thinking we know how the other person's
00:28:11.460 --> 00:28:14.279
going to react and respond and eight times out
00:28:14.279 --> 00:28:16.960
of ten it's nowhere near close to how we had
00:28:16.960 --> 00:28:18.759
this whole conversation in our mind so if we
00:28:18.759 --> 00:28:21.440
would have just had it initially like we've built
00:28:21.440 --> 00:28:23.559
it up to be way bigger of a thing in our brains
00:28:24.079 --> 00:28:26.859
than it actually is. Or by the time we get there,
00:28:26.920 --> 00:28:28.859
we're so stressed out about it that then, you
00:28:28.859 --> 00:28:31.819
know, we come across way different than we may
00:28:31.819 --> 00:28:33.759
be meant to because we've been mulling this whole
00:28:33.759 --> 00:28:36.400
thing over when really... It could have just
00:28:36.400 --> 00:28:39.180
been a way simpler, less formal conversation
00:28:39.180 --> 00:28:44.039
or way more of an inquiry of a conversation rather
00:28:44.039 --> 00:28:47.279
than this, what tends to be more aggressive by
00:28:47.279 --> 00:28:48.700
the time that we get there and we finally get
00:28:48.700 --> 00:28:50.180
the courage to actually have the conversation.
00:28:50.460 --> 00:28:51.839
You know, this is actually one of the things
00:28:51.839 --> 00:28:55.200
that our management team at work has really worked
00:28:55.200 --> 00:28:57.920
hard on over the last several years is being
00:28:57.920 --> 00:29:00.700
willing to have the conversation, to ask the
00:29:00.700 --> 00:29:03.480
questions. If you want an answer to something,
00:29:03.579 --> 00:29:06.650
just go ask the question. right like we're here
00:29:06.650 --> 00:29:08.569
to help each other and we've learned that so
00:29:08.569 --> 00:29:11.029
often over the years like you know, it's way
00:29:11.029 --> 00:29:13.029
easier to just literally just go have this straight
00:29:13.029 --> 00:29:14.970
up conversation. Like less and less of the time
00:29:14.970 --> 00:29:17.269
now do we hang on to something and then wait
00:29:17.269 --> 00:29:20.089
to ask them or to ask for help or to inquire
00:29:20.089 --> 00:29:22.089
about something. Like we don't hang on to those
00:29:22.089 --> 00:29:24.549
things as long anymore. Like we utilize the resources
00:29:24.549 --> 00:29:26.470
around us and we want to help each other. And
00:29:26.470 --> 00:29:28.609
we know that each other has the best interest
00:29:28.609 --> 00:29:31.609
of our fellow managers and of the dealership
00:29:31.609 --> 00:29:34.349
at heart. And so I think that because we have
00:29:34.349 --> 00:29:36.569
practiced it, it has gotten easier. It's just
00:29:36.569 --> 00:29:38.970
like a rep in the gym, right? Like it becomes
00:29:38.970 --> 00:29:40.980
easy. and easier and easier the more that you
00:29:40.980 --> 00:29:43.480
do it. And so I think that, yeah, courage is
00:29:43.480 --> 00:29:45.380
one of those things that becomes, Danelle talks
00:29:45.380 --> 00:29:47.839
about this, it becomes easier the more that you
00:29:47.839 --> 00:29:51.140
do it. And so find something to be, yeah, to
00:29:51.140 --> 00:29:54.089
be courageous about. Yeah, so powerful. And you
00:29:54.089 --> 00:29:55.890
may be thinking at this point, you're like, man,
00:29:55.930 --> 00:29:57.650
this is a little dramatic for a football match.
00:29:57.789 --> 00:30:01.089
And the Post actually recognizes that and says,
00:30:01.289 --> 00:30:05.609
yes, but the principles in this idea are real.
00:30:05.769 --> 00:30:09.250
And the final lesson that he draws out in this
00:30:09.250 --> 00:30:12.549
is you don't win by protecting a lead. You win
00:30:12.549 --> 00:30:16.000
by continuing to play to win. And I think. That
00:30:16.000 --> 00:30:19.319
is so powerful in not just a, you know, sport
00:30:19.319 --> 00:30:22.319
context, but also in a work context. And then
00:30:22.319 --> 00:30:24.980
like we talked about so often in the personal
00:30:24.980 --> 00:30:28.180
context, oftentimes I think personal can be even
00:30:28.180 --> 00:30:30.859
more important to, to put a work into than, than
00:30:30.859 --> 00:30:33.700
professional, because if you're a better, more
00:30:33.700 --> 00:30:37.319
whole person personally, you will be better professionally
00:30:37.319 --> 00:30:41.140
automatically as well. So the challenge is obviously
00:30:41.140 --> 00:30:43.650
if you're behind. You already know you have to
00:30:43.650 --> 00:30:46.329
fight for the lead. That's almost like a lot
00:30:46.329 --> 00:30:48.500
of competitors will tell you they'd rather. try
00:30:48.500 --> 00:30:51.440
to win from behind than to be the one in the
00:30:51.440 --> 00:30:55.000
lead. And we'll talk about F1 in future episodes.
00:30:55.059 --> 00:30:57.900
I'm sure we're huge F1 fans. But when you're
00:30:57.900 --> 00:31:00.519
in front, you have to set the pace. And there's
00:31:00.519 --> 00:31:02.900
certain things where you're like, man, there's
00:31:02.900 --> 00:31:04.900
a stress in that that you don't have when you're
00:31:04.900 --> 00:31:08.059
chasing someone down. And so it's a completely
00:31:08.059 --> 00:31:11.279
different posture. And so for the person who's
00:31:11.279 --> 00:31:13.339
in the lead, that's why it's dangerous. That's
00:31:13.339 --> 00:31:15.660
why they say it's a dangerous score. So daily,
00:31:15.720 --> 00:31:19.039
anything does change. everything if you're willing
00:31:19.039 --> 00:31:21.299
to put in the work. And it doesn't have to be
00:31:21.299 --> 00:31:23.599
drastic work. It just has to be daily incremental
00:31:23.599 --> 00:31:26.059
work. And that's why we believe in it so much.
00:31:26.180 --> 00:31:28.180
So thanks for listening to the Optimizing Beyond
00:31:28.180 --> 00:31:31.079
podcast. Remember, growth happens when you take
00:31:31.079 --> 00:31:33.440
action. So subscribe, share this with a friend,
00:31:33.460 --> 00:31:35.500
and most importantly, put what you learned into
00:31:35.500 --> 00:31:38.039
practice. Because as we know, daily anything
00:31:38.039 --> 00:31:39.519
changes everything.
