39. Plot Twist: Guilty Pleasures Are Wellness

WEBVTT
00:00:05.107 --> 00:00:08.827
Greetings Thrivers and welcome back to Now Let's Thrive, the podcast.
00:00:09.207 --> 00:00:12.567
My name is Dr. Devin Ford and I am your host.
00:00:12.787 --> 00:00:19.267
Today I want to talk about something that I think gets a bad reputation often,
00:00:19.267 --> 00:00:22.487
but it's a matter of perspective.
00:00:22.487 --> 00:00:27.747
And if we think about these things in terms of wellness, making us feel good,
00:00:27.927 --> 00:00:32.587
giving us a reprieve or rest or break from stress,
00:00:33.047 --> 00:00:36.407
the stressors of life, things that are going on sociopolitically,
00:00:36.607 --> 00:00:41.887
then it can be something that is actually useful to help us in our wellness.
00:00:42.387 --> 00:00:46.187
And that is a guilty pleasure.
00:00:46.607 --> 00:00:49.627
Okay, so hear me out. And I'm
00:00:49.627 --> 00:00:53.067
definitely going to give you some examples of current guilty
00:00:53.067 --> 00:00:58.127
pleasures that I am indulging in and then tell you a little bit of the reason
00:00:58.127 --> 00:01:05.227
why I'm doing it and how I think that that can really help to increase our wellness
00:01:05.227 --> 00:01:09.727
or be something that helps to support our overall wellness.
00:01:09.727 --> 00:01:12.607
And then, of course, I would love to hear from you, too.
00:01:13.027 --> 00:01:15.967
So guilty pleasures, they do get a bad reputation.
00:01:16.427 --> 00:01:20.587
But when we think about it from a behavioral science and wellness perspective,
00:01:20.607 --> 00:01:25.447
they can actually be surprisingly functional, assuming that they're moderate
00:01:25.447 --> 00:01:27.987
and not actually harmful for us.
00:01:28.127 --> 00:01:31.447
So I'm going to start by sharing some of my current guilty pleasures.
00:01:31.887 --> 00:01:36.287
Reading romance novels. I think I've mentioned in past episodes,
00:01:36.287 --> 00:01:41.267
I typically switch it up, might read something that's historical,
00:01:41.687 --> 00:01:46.027
may read something that's nonfiction, might read something that's self-help,
00:01:46.187 --> 00:01:47.507
something that's work-related.
00:01:47.747 --> 00:01:52.147
And then I just read romance novels or things that are kind of fun and a lot
00:01:52.147 --> 00:01:54.607
more lighthearted and fiction in between.
00:01:55.412 --> 00:01:59.632
Lately, what I have done, because there has been so much of the heavy reading
00:01:59.632 --> 00:02:03.392
that I've done, is I've just really been focusing on romance novels.
00:02:03.712 --> 00:02:09.312
So whereas I would switch books and do a romance novel, like in between three
00:02:09.312 --> 00:02:14.552
or four other books that I might read, I've just been continuously reading them and reading series.
00:02:14.552 --> 00:02:17.792
So recently I started the Kennedy Ryan
00:02:17.792 --> 00:02:20.752
Bennett family series there are four books
00:02:20.752 --> 00:02:23.652
and I said okay I'm gonna read one and then go on
00:02:23.652 --> 00:02:26.532
to something else come back to book two and I haven't done that so
00:02:26.532 --> 00:02:31.312
I'm actually on book number four now the last in the series it is romance and
00:02:31.312 --> 00:02:36.052
I am loving it and it may be a guilty pleasure but I gotta be honest I don't
00:02:36.052 --> 00:02:40.632
feel guilty about it because the books are about love and joy and sure there's
00:02:40.632 --> 00:02:46.092
drama and hardships and problems But at the end of it, they're happy endings.
00:02:46.132 --> 00:02:50.252
And sometimes I just need a happy ending.
00:02:50.572 --> 00:02:55.292
And so they're making me feel good. The second thing is binge watching reality
00:02:55.292 --> 00:03:00.532
TV shows. For a while, I'd actually just kind of narrowed it down to just a
00:03:00.532 --> 00:03:03.312
couple of reality TV shows I would watch.
00:03:03.532 --> 00:03:09.152
You know, here and there, wasn't really interested in making sure I watched
00:03:09.152 --> 00:03:12.952
them like as soon as they came out or live on the day that they aired.
00:03:13.032 --> 00:03:18.472
But I've really just been enjoying coming across some new reality TV shows and
00:03:18.472 --> 00:03:21.712
actually taking some time to binge watch them.
00:03:21.992 --> 00:03:26.372
One of them is Summer House. I'm enjoying that one. That's a Bravo series.
00:03:26.592 --> 00:03:31.152
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, also a Bravo series. I was really into...
00:03:32.132 --> 00:03:37.072
Real Housewives of Potomac, Real Housewives of Atlanta, Real Housewives of New Jersey.
00:03:37.272 --> 00:03:43.232
And I never really watched Beverly Hills very much maybe short clips of episodes
00:03:43.232 --> 00:03:46.912
here and there as they were on and things that I would kind of see on social media.
00:03:47.072 --> 00:03:52.412
But I actually started watching it not from season one because I think it's like on season 15.
00:03:52.752 --> 00:03:57.372
Now I don't have that kind of time. But I started from when Garcelle Bouvet
00:03:57.372 --> 00:04:01.532
joined the show midway through. I can't even remember now what season that is
00:04:01.532 --> 00:04:06.572
and have watched it up until the current season again, which is number 15.
00:04:06.792 --> 00:04:09.712
And I'm enjoying it. I laugh a lot. It's entertaining.
00:04:10.332 --> 00:04:15.672
Yeah, that's just what it is. And then Bell Collective, which is the show about
00:04:15.672 --> 00:04:19.712
a group of black women entrepreneurs in Jackson, Mississippi.
00:04:20.312 --> 00:04:23.252
I've been binge watching that and have really gotten into it.
00:04:23.252 --> 00:04:25.532
I watched it a while ago, kind of stopped.
00:04:25.732 --> 00:04:29.712
And so binging it to kind of catch up with where they are now.
00:04:29.992 --> 00:04:34.412
And it's a guilty pleasure. It's not something that brings me any sort of productivity
00:04:34.412 --> 00:04:37.712
at all, except it makes me laugh and makes me feel good.
00:04:38.052 --> 00:04:42.312
Another thing that I do every now and then, maybe once a month or every other
00:04:42.312 --> 00:04:45.012
month or so, I go get a glazed donut.
00:04:45.612 --> 00:04:52.072
I like donuts, specifically glazed. I'm not into all the fancy donuts and different flavors.
00:04:52.072 --> 00:05:01.092
I'm an old-fashioned glazed girl or an old-fashioned sour cream cake donut gal. And...
00:05:01.533 --> 00:05:07.693
I just go get a donut, you know, every now and then it's not something that's off often.
00:05:08.033 --> 00:05:12.613
They are full of sugar and I don't need that type of sugar or carbs in my life,
00:05:12.693 --> 00:05:15.733
but it's something that helps me feel good every now and then.
00:05:15.893 --> 00:05:20.833
And it satisfies something inside of me. And so it's something I like to do.
00:05:20.973 --> 00:05:23.733
It's my favorite sweet treat, favorite dessert.
00:05:23.913 --> 00:05:28.233
I'm not into ice cream and frozen yogurt and lots of candies.
00:05:28.233 --> 00:05:32.193
I don't like chocolate, but I do enjoy glazed donut every now and then.
00:05:32.873 --> 00:05:38.913
Another thing that I really like to do, and as I was thinking about guilty pleasures
00:05:38.913 --> 00:05:44.033
that I have, this one came up because it seems like it's something I do in cycles.
00:05:44.033 --> 00:05:48.573
Like I get kind of into it and spend some time with it, and then time goes on,
00:05:48.653 --> 00:05:50.893
and I don't do it anymore, and then I come back to it.
00:05:50.933 --> 00:05:53.873
And I think I always come back to it because it's something,
00:05:54.013 --> 00:05:55.453
again, that brings me a lot of joy.
00:05:55.453 --> 00:06:03.193
And that is just going on YouTube, searching for videos from either my favorite
00:06:03.193 --> 00:06:08.013
choreographers or my favorite artists, musical artists who are also really good dancers.
00:06:08.413 --> 00:06:14.353
So two of my go-tos are Dawn Richard because she is an amazing artist.
00:06:14.713 --> 00:06:18.673
I love her music and I follow it, but she is an incredible dancer.
00:06:18.873 --> 00:06:23.113
She is a trained dancer. been watching her dance since she was with Danny D.
00:06:23.193 --> 00:06:28.073
Cain and she's got some great videos out that show you the rehearsals of the
00:06:28.073 --> 00:06:33.753
choreography for her music videos and I watched them and I love them and then
00:06:33.753 --> 00:06:35.833
the second one is Aaliyah Janelle.
00:06:36.543 --> 00:06:39.383
Queen stilettos and she is a
00:06:39.383 --> 00:06:42.583
choreographer and has choreographed for you know
00:06:42.583 --> 00:06:45.403
numerous stars she's been on tour as a
00:06:45.403 --> 00:06:48.423
dancer with Beyonce and I just love
00:06:48.423 --> 00:06:52.523
Aaliyah Janelle I think she's an incredible talent her queen queens and leto
00:06:52.523 --> 00:06:57.683
series is on YouTube and so I love to watch her videos and also just watch how
00:06:57.683 --> 00:07:02.763
she motivates other dancers how she teaches other dancers and And it's something
00:07:02.763 --> 00:07:06.443
that just brings me joy because I love dance.
00:07:07.475 --> 00:07:12.595
Another one is re-watching shows and movies that I love from the past.
00:07:12.775 --> 00:07:17.735
Brown Sugar and Stomp the Yard are in regular rotation. Not really regular.
00:07:17.915 --> 00:07:19.155
Every now and then I watch them
00:07:19.155 --> 00:07:23.435
if they come on TV or I see that they're available on streaming for free.
00:07:24.035 --> 00:07:27.955
I re-watch them and I feel that same sense of joy all over again.
00:07:28.035 --> 00:07:32.115
When I was a kid, I used to really like to watch the movie Crooklyn,
00:07:32.315 --> 00:07:35.635
especially with one of my best friends. It's a Spike Lee joint.
00:07:35.835 --> 00:07:39.335
We would watch it all the time. And by myself, I liked watching The Color Purple,
00:07:39.475 --> 00:07:42.835
which isn't necessarily a happy movie all the way through.
00:07:42.975 --> 00:07:47.095
But at the end, there is some joy and I just always like it.
00:07:47.255 --> 00:07:53.095
And then I re-watched series like Girlfriends and Sex and the City because lots
00:07:53.095 --> 00:07:58.415
of laughter, lots of things that resonate, especially now as I am more of an
00:07:58.415 --> 00:08:00.975
adult than I was when I originally watched them.
00:08:01.395 --> 00:08:05.915
And also, I just like to take naps. And I know I've talked about taking naps
00:08:05.915 --> 00:08:09.855
before on the show because it's something that I do really like to do.
00:08:10.015 --> 00:08:13.695
It helps me to reset, refocus, re-energize.
00:08:14.095 --> 00:08:18.075
And I could be doing something else during the time that I take naps.
00:08:18.155 --> 00:08:21.915
I could be more productive. And I think that's a big part of the reason why
00:08:21.915 --> 00:08:26.055
they're considered guilty pleasures. Because we sort of feel bad,
00:08:26.155 --> 00:08:30.515
or at least I know I do, when I indulge in things that I consider to be unproductive.
00:08:31.075 --> 00:08:34.635
But naps are also very good. for wellness.
00:08:34.935 --> 00:08:38.935
And I'll get into that a little bit more in a moment. But some other examples
00:08:38.935 --> 00:08:44.195
of guilty pleasures could be spending time on a hobby where there's no monetization,
00:08:44.195 --> 00:08:48.315
no incentive, reward, or benefit. It's just something that you really like to.
00:08:48.958 --> 00:08:53.218
Could be drawing, could be crafting. I have some friends that like to do DIY
00:08:53.218 --> 00:08:58.058
projects, that like to go outside and work in their yard to make it beautiful,
00:08:58.318 --> 00:09:03.818
gardening, just all kinds of things that are hobbies and things that people do that, again,
00:09:04.518 --> 00:09:09.878
no real reward or benefit or monetization, no incentives.
00:09:10.858 --> 00:09:13.598
It just helps them feel good, right?
00:09:13.698 --> 00:09:18.018
And those are guilty pleasures or can be considered guilty pleasures as well.
00:09:18.018 --> 00:09:24.958
So I want to share why guilty pleasures can actually help.
00:09:25.849 --> 00:09:31.849
Us with our wellness and can actually help us to just experience joy and help
00:09:31.849 --> 00:09:34.629
to make us more whole and more healthy.
00:09:34.829 --> 00:09:38.469
At a psychological level, they serve as reward stimuli.
00:09:38.469 --> 00:09:44.589
So engaging in something that you enjoy, even if it feels indulgent or unproductive,
00:09:44.869 --> 00:09:50.909
it activates dopamine-related pathways that are associated with both motivation and pleasure.
00:09:51.109 --> 00:09:56.189
It makes us feel good. This can help to counterbalance chronic stress,
00:09:56.509 --> 00:10:01.049
which otherwise keeps cortisol levels elevated. And that's not good for us.
00:10:01.209 --> 00:10:08.389
In very simpler terms, small, enjoyable indulgences can help reset your stress baseline.
00:10:08.629 --> 00:10:13.809
Think about how you feel afterwards or even during the time when you're engaging
00:10:13.809 --> 00:10:18.609
in some of these quote-unquote guilty pleasures. Makes you feel lighter.
00:10:19.269 --> 00:10:24.169
Makes you feel good. All these things are actually really good for your wellness.
00:10:24.449 --> 00:10:29.249
There's also a self-regulation benefit. So humans aren't built for constant
00:10:29.249 --> 00:10:33.989
discipline. So we're not built for these consistent routines and schedules that
00:10:33.989 --> 00:10:39.109
we find ourselves in without something that's different, that counterbalances that.
00:10:39.289 --> 00:10:44.869
So allowing controlled indulgences can prevent what's known as ego depletion
00:10:44.869 --> 00:10:47.889
or burnout from excessive restraint.
00:10:48.129 --> 00:10:51.869
So when we permit ourselves to have occasional treats.
00:10:52.676 --> 00:10:57.396
This often helps us sustain healthier long-term habits than those who aim for
00:10:57.396 --> 00:10:59.476
rigid perfection and then rebound.
00:10:59.676 --> 00:11:02.656
So I think about that in terms of that donut that I like to have,
00:11:02.876 --> 00:11:06.736
allowing myself to have that glazed donut every now and then.
00:11:06.876 --> 00:11:11.556
It actually helps me to not eat donuts or eat sweets all the time,
00:11:11.596 --> 00:11:13.916
which is much healthier for me.
00:11:14.056 --> 00:11:17.156
And in that moment, it helps me again to feel good.
00:11:17.156 --> 00:11:23.356
That consistent discipline that we have, it's good, but on the flip side of that,
00:11:23.756 --> 00:11:30.376
human nature is really so antithetical to that, that we have to allow some flexibility
00:11:30.376 --> 00:11:34.216
and enjoyment and some pleasure in there as well.
00:11:34.897 --> 00:11:39.317
Another angle is to think about identity and autonomy. So guilty pleasures are
00:11:39.317 --> 00:11:42.317
often personally meaningful, but socially judged.
00:11:42.537 --> 00:11:47.097
So binge watching a show, which I talked about, listening to specific genre
00:11:47.097 --> 00:11:51.377
of music, indulging in comfort foods can be something that we're judged for.
00:11:51.597 --> 00:11:56.197
But choosing to engage in them reinforces a sense of agency because you're doing
00:11:56.197 --> 00:12:02.637
something because you enjoy it, not because it's optimized or it's approved by anyone else.
00:12:02.637 --> 00:12:09.577
And that is strongly correlated with well-being and self-determination theory, right?
00:12:09.717 --> 00:12:14.977
So us having the opportunity to choose what we want to engage in and do it,
00:12:15.077 --> 00:12:18.157
regardless of what it looks like or what other people think,
00:12:18.357 --> 00:12:21.237
also really helps with our wellness.
00:12:21.237 --> 00:12:26.997
And another thing that I just want to say about that is just the way that we
00:12:26.997 --> 00:12:33.117
use language, like even the term guilty pleasures, maybe we reframe that.
00:12:33.277 --> 00:12:38.717
And instead of saying guilty pleasures, we just say small pleasures, right?
00:12:38.897 --> 00:12:43.017
Or pleasures that we indulge in every now and then. And again.
00:12:43.277 --> 00:12:48.497
Something that we don't necessarily indulge in or do or take part in all the
00:12:48.497 --> 00:12:50.737
time or consistently, right?
00:12:50.837 --> 00:12:56.017
But just reframing it to be more positive. So if we take that word guilty out
00:12:56.017 --> 00:13:01.597
because we know that language matters, it helps us to feel better about what we are doing.
00:13:01.597 --> 00:13:07.197
It helps to promote that energy. It's more supportive and it displaces priorities
00:13:07.197 --> 00:13:13.997
or that regret that we tend to have, right? So yes, all in all.
00:13:14.588 --> 00:13:20.168
Pleasures, or also known as guilty pleasures, can contribute to our wellness.
00:13:20.248 --> 00:13:22.828
But, but, but, but, here's the thing.
00:13:22.968 --> 00:13:27.908
It's only when they're consciously integrated rather than compulsively used.
00:13:28.068 --> 00:13:31.328
So again, we want to use these things moderately.
00:13:31.448 --> 00:13:35.528
We don't want to become so unproductive that we stop getting things done and
00:13:35.528 --> 00:13:41.228
stop working towards our goals that we lose sight of or stop our routines and
00:13:41.228 --> 00:13:43.628
our habits and it lowers our discipline.
00:13:43.988 --> 00:13:49.348
And so that's not productive at all. But again, there has to be maybe not even
00:13:49.348 --> 00:13:54.008
a balance, maybe integration is a better word, integrating both that discipline,
00:13:54.248 --> 00:13:58.808
the routines and the structure that we have in our life so that we can get things
00:13:58.808 --> 00:14:04.688
done that we need to, but then also incorporating or integrating into that some
00:14:04.688 --> 00:14:08.528
of these guilty pleasures or these small acts of joy,
00:14:08.828 --> 00:14:13.948
hobbies, things that we indulge in every now and then that help us to take a
00:14:13.948 --> 00:14:17.208
break from the rigidity, something that's very important.
00:14:18.567 --> 00:14:20.567
Not a long episode today, just
00:14:20.567 --> 00:14:24.027
wanted to share that with you because I was recently thinking about it.
00:14:24.167 --> 00:14:27.887
I've been trying to make myself feel better about the fact that I've been doing
00:14:27.887 --> 00:14:33.447
a lot of romance novel reading and into reality shows, but it really is okay
00:14:33.447 --> 00:14:38.927
because it is helping me with my overall wellness and helping me to have less stress.
00:14:39.407 --> 00:14:43.547
As always, Thrivers, I want to hear from you. You're welcome to reach out to
00:14:43.547 --> 00:14:47.707
me to share what your guilty pleasures are, how you're going to reframe that
00:14:47.707 --> 00:14:51.867
for positivity so it doesn't make you feel so guilty.
00:14:52.087 --> 00:14:57.087
And of course, if you have any questions or topics for further episodes,
00:14:57.407 --> 00:14:59.607
please reach out and let me know.
00:14:59.787 --> 00:15:02.307
I always love hearing from you all.
00:15:02.727 --> 00:15:06.507
Until next time, Thrivers, may you be well.
00:15:06.707 --> 00:15:13.847
May you engage in things that make you feel at peace, that regulate your stress
00:15:13.847 --> 00:15:18.107
or bring down your levels of stress and help you to experience joy.
00:15:18.347 --> 00:15:24.947
And as always, may you be well. Until next time, take care and bye for now.