Reality is a Process

WEBVTT
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so, i always start with so but here we are again
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trying to gather myself because this the theme
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for this episode is something i've been really
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looking forward to getting into but i also feel
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like i have to feel some nervousness too do right
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by this huge crazy subject of reality but that's
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what it's all about isn't it or existential frameworks,
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existence, reality different ways we try to understand
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it different ways we live our lives And why do
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we live it in a certain way? Where does it all
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come from? These big questions. I'm not probably
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gonna give the answer to it all on this humble
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little podcast of mine, but I can share some
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perspectives. That's what I'm here for, sharing
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my perspective or the perspectives I have taken
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on and gathered. And when it comes to reality
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it's a fascinating whole area and it can't really
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be detached from perspective, from our experience
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as these human beings. That's what we are experiencing
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and that's what we will always have as the filter.
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this body, these eyes, this brain, this mind,
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the subconscious, my beliefs, my thoughts, my
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emotions and different ways that we understand
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all those things, all those layers and try to
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or try to understand them, try to come up with
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explanations that make sense because those are
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the things or the elements that shape our reality
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and let's let's establish it right from the start
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that I have landed in a perspective where I do
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believe or I have experienced which has then
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in turn kind of strengthened that belief that
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My mind really really shapes my reality the way
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that my attention goes to certain things over
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others. All these things come from my mind and
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with mind it's maybe not only the mind that we
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have or we see the mind just in the brain as
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made up of how the neurons fire or how this electricity
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moves around that's the physical side of things
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but the mind that we all have in a way through
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our whole body through the nervous system or
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fascia these things just the being that I am
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is what gives rise to my experience of reality
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and will shape it. And I think I want to also
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share some of these references or resources that
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have shaped the way that my mind conceptualizes
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the concept, the idea of reality. But it's a
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tricky little tightrope walk where I don't want
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to fall too far in that side and then lose all
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touch with just my experience as Minna Mari as
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this particular human being because then it's
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a risk of regurgitating or just repeating back
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what others have said. So we'll see if I manage
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to walk on this tightrope or not. I'm gonna do
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my best. So if we talk about reality, one concept
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that comes up for me is truth. Because isn't
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that what we're trying to do or what has been
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attempted to say at this? This is it. This is
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I notice I do this with my finger like I'm pointing
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at that one and only truth that's kind of how
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I how I feel it when I'm when I'm portraying
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that kind of character who tried to say that
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I Have the truth here and it's this And what
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a powerful powerful thing to be able to say I
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have the truth here for you it's up for you to
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just receive it look at this gift I have for
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you and what an amazing gift problem is that
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that gift has been used for means of domination
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and control because if you get someone to accept
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your your version of the truth of what reality
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is then they are easier to shape and mold and
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get in line in behind your idea or the kings
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who tell us that I have been appointed by God
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to be your ruler so this is the truth this is
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the reality and there's nothing to do except
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accept it and in that acceptance it is then your
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reality and maybe I don't need to go to so much
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extremes of like it makes sense that you would
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accept it if someone is holding a knife to your
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throat and it's not so much that I want to point
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it out as a matter of oh you're accepting it
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so it's your own fault that you're under the
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rule no it's like there are more layers than
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that and this is again where I'm going into these
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tricky tricky areas of how to how to lift up
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this idea how to empower the listener or you
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who are now hearing these words how to empower
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you in your experience because I have myself
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experienced it as empowering to understand that
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I have there is a certain range that I am able
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to affect through getting my focus more into
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my experience or how I as a filter how I take
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in, how I interact with the world. When you have
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some awareness, when you develop awareness of
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that, when you start to, well, heal the nervous
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system or rather shift some ingrained patterns
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or dysfunctional loops of the mind or, well,
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it all comes back to the body feeling safe, basically.
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That does open up for a very different type of
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reality or a possibility of experiencing a different
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type of reality and that's why it is one very
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central mission of mine to try and share and
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express about that journey through the example
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of my own journey because that's the only journey
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I can share about in a direct way where I have
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that direct experience and on the other hand
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none of it is intended as this kind of pointing
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at you like oh you should be able to already
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change your reality and do these things because
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the whole thing is that we have all these patterns
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that have learned we have learned in life or
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we have been conditioned into as part of life
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growing up in a family in a societal setting
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in this world we affect each other we get affected
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by each other we try to find our way but it's
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an individual journey it's very subjective personal
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journey but you can't as we said in the last
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episode of the universe is relational it's all
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relational you can't really detach fully or separate
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fully you can experience yourself as separate
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but You never really are we never really really
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truly are but we often can experience that sense
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of separation and to a certain degree we have
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our own individual forms and Okay, let's try
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to get back from these woods to what was the
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red thread I was going after yeah right the balancing
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act between Just planting that seed of Wow, you
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have so much power when you can learn to harness
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it when you can Use your mind to your benefit
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and your emotions and all of these things, but
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It's not your fault that you can't maybe can't
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do it right now or then it's challenging right
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now that you Notice or maybe you're not even
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aware of it, but there's certain kind of beliefs
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That are holding you back from experiencing some
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other ways of Experiencing reality or that there
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are some emotional defense patterns Wounds because
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we all have those they're part of the human experience.
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That's part of the game of being a human and
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There's a beauty in that part, too and it's not
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your fault nothing is your fault that you have
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those but there's something that can be done
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there's a certain level of things that we can
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do on our own and then we can get support and
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guidance we can't see our own back of the head
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but we can use a mirror or we need two mirrors
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technically or we can ask someone hey could you
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check if I have like some insect in the back
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of my head I was in the forest and I would want
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to maybe shake them off but I can't see it myself
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then we need an extra pair of eyes to check that
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for us and it's actually quite similar with certain
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types of mental loops or defense patterns or
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wounds or shadow behaviors or it can help to
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have those extra pairs of eyes and ears and just
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extra pair of an extra person someone who has
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learned or has experienced engaging with those
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themes and can just sit with you and take in
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what you're telling them, your experience and
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can reflect back to you what they see. We can't
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reflect it back to ourselves in the same way.
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We can do certain things. I have been writing
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in my diary since I was 10, 9 years old and that
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was my way of getting these thoughts these stories
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down onto paper externalizing externalizing them
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into something I can hold the diary the book
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the pages the pencil where I can do that process
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of extracting them so it's not just all this
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jumble in my head or in my mind in my body and
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sometimes it really helped and I got things clear
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and I clarified them and I even shifted things
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because over the years I noticed I developed
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a way of journaling where I would write out all
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that I felt all kinds of different things the
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experiences emotions and the thoughts And then,
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after I had written it all out, I would shift
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into a perspective where I would see the positive.
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I would focus on what I actually have that's...
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I would see that it's not as bad as I thought
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when it was all this jumble, this cloud that
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was covering my perception. and then I could
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shift it to landing in a place of appreciation
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and gratitude and I did that and that helped
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that helped to a degree but at other times if
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I would sit down and just start journaling when
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I was in let's say in a panic state when I was
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deep in some kind of a painful memory and I would
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think like oh maybe I can shift it by just sitting
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on my own and journaling about it and I would
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try and try and I would only go deeper into that
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painful memory I would just sometimes that act
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of journaling would only Kind of give more power
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to the panic because I was going deeper into
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it I was putting my awareness deep into it in
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a way where I didn't have any kind of anchor
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I didn't have a life preserver to kind of get
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me back up from those depths and I took breaks
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from journaling and Didn't do it for weeks The
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most recent example was in the springtime when
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I noticed I had a period of time here a few months
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back where I just I just went into some old memories
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from my childhood some old pain and I was that
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child again I experienced like I was threatened
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I was afraid and I'm right here in my room or
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in the house and there's nothing there's no one
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here actually threatening me but when my mind
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when my whole being is experiencing that that's
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my reality I'm back there again and then it didn't
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help to try to use my mind to get out of it and
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I tried for a bit to expressing other other ways
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I would scream in the car and that helps in different
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ways too maybe if you have been stuck for a long
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time in a certain place certain way of being
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where particularly if you have been kind of suppressing
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your emotions and your emotional defense has
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been built up in a way where you basically have
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put it all in a box and trying to throw away
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the key that box is still gonna be there in some
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way and gonna try to it's gonna try to get some
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tendrils like from the little crack of the box
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and try to like hey hey hey I'm here you need
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to do something about this and then it helped
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me to look it in the eye and do like Living in
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the countryside in a house. I actually was able
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to Scream into a pillow or when you have a car
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you can scream in the car to express get those
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emotions out But over time I also felt like there
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was something missing. There's a piece missing
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where that didn't actually Help either because
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I was still stuck in that experience and I've
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been really trying to find how can we actually
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truly shift from a state to another and then
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we need often we need tools or we need help or
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guidance from someone else and one tool that
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helped me was I think it's called the circle
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of reactivity that I heard about on a on a podcast
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episode randomly exactly on the day when I had
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experienced I was a bit in that panic still and
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I listened to this episode where a ex -military
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guy was sharing about how he has developed his
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own habit of breaking out of a like when you
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have a post -traumatic stress response a traumatic
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response then he would focus on something he
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had like a necklace like a physical object and
00:19:08.480 --> 00:19:11.960
it would bring him back here and then from there
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he could imagine that he would be by a river
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and maybe I'll just share a link to that episode
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it was quite good and in my case I tried to think
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of what is it like what's some kind of object
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that can help ground me that I always have with
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me so if you experience something like this maybe
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this would help That's why I'm sharing it now
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I guess because I felt it could also help but
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it's connected to reality because our reality,
00:19:40.420 --> 00:19:43.180
our views, our mind, our experience shapes it.
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So what I have is I have always some kind of
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a wristwatch. I've had many different wristwatches
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over the year because they are part of like the
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different forms that I evolve into the different
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versions that I grow over my lifetime and now
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this version of me has this this black and gold
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watch I got it on a sale so it's actually quite
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cheap but it looks fancy and every time I look
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at it I'm enjoying it because it's pretty a bit
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sparkly it has like this prismatic glass so it's
00:20:20.029 --> 00:20:23.880
a bit of a prism and The good thing with that
00:20:23.880 --> 00:20:27.619
glass is that it has some texture to it. So for
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my circle of reactivity I decided I'm just gonna
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put my thumb onto this wristwatch. I'm just gonna
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like touch it and that brings me back to my body.
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That's the first step because when you disappear
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somewhere in your mind into your memories into
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some painful experience you lose touch with your
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body. because your body is experiencing that
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it's somewhere else, that it's in a traumatic
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experience. So when my thumb is feeling this
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watch then suddenly my attention goes to my thumb
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that's right here touching this this glass and
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then when I see when I focus on the thumb the
00:21:06.819 --> 00:21:10.440
feeling of it I also that brings my gaze onto
00:21:10.440 --> 00:21:14.000
it and I realize the good thing with a wristwatch
00:21:14.000 --> 00:21:18.349
is it reminds me about time. Look at the time
00:21:18.349 --> 00:21:23.069
and I said, oh, it's five minutes to 12 Right
00:21:23.069 --> 00:21:26.769
here right now. I'm actually right here and that
00:21:26.769 --> 00:21:29.869
brought me back from the memory into What's the
00:21:29.869 --> 00:21:33.049
time right now? I'm in this place this day this
00:21:33.049 --> 00:21:39.130
time and that helped break that loop of Going
00:21:39.130 --> 00:21:43.069
deeper into a painful memory and coming back
00:21:43.069 --> 00:21:48.970
and Then I would just kind of land deeper into
00:21:48.970 --> 00:21:53.049
this moment and then the energy of that memory
00:21:53.049 --> 00:21:57.109
in my case in this case actually started to dissipate
00:21:57.109 --> 00:22:01.589
and disappear and that was really interesting
00:22:01.589 --> 00:22:04.309
really helpful and that's why I wanted to share
00:22:04.309 --> 00:22:07.450
it that sometimes we can just use this really
00:22:07.450 --> 00:22:15.009
simple trick to just get present and from the
00:22:15.009 --> 00:22:18.180
present That's where we are actually experiencing,
00:22:18.700 --> 00:22:21.119
even when we're looking backwards, when we're
00:22:21.119 --> 00:22:24.720
in memories, we're experiencing it in the present
00:22:24.720 --> 00:22:27.220
moment. That's where we're alive, it's right
00:22:27.220 --> 00:22:31.460
now. And that's why there's such power in actually
00:22:31.460 --> 00:22:36.819
truly becoming present and I would like to propose
00:22:36.819 --> 00:22:41.319
or suggest that that is one of the biggest challenges
00:22:41.319 --> 00:22:45.309
of our times. There are so many ways we can let
00:22:45.309 --> 00:22:49.750
our minds, our attention wander, get distracted,
00:22:49.869 --> 00:22:55.869
get everywhere except here, right now. And the
00:22:55.869 --> 00:23:00.109
challenge is more about how to just be here right
00:23:00.109 --> 00:23:04.710
now. And I'm not saying you always have to even
00:23:04.710 --> 00:23:07.089
be here right now, it can be really fun to go
00:23:07.089 --> 00:23:11.660
into memories or... maybe you look at some videos
00:23:11.660 --> 00:23:15.460
like this where i'm rambling here or listen to
00:23:15.460 --> 00:23:19.640
podcasts or expand we have this will this wish
00:23:19.640 --> 00:23:22.980
to expand and that goes back to reality my view
00:23:22.980 --> 00:23:26.539
or reality that if we are part of this life force
00:23:26.539 --> 00:23:32.480
or everything there's a natural will to to expand
00:23:32.480 --> 00:23:35.759
our experience and our understanding our perception
00:23:35.759 --> 00:23:40.240
and take in more and learn and evolve I think
00:23:40.240 --> 00:23:43.859
that is a natural driving force that most of
00:23:43.859 --> 00:23:46.660
us have and then in states where we go through
00:23:46.660 --> 00:23:51.339
tremendous challenges or some exhaustion maybe
00:23:51.339 --> 00:23:54.220
that will get dampened and we just have to have
00:23:54.220 --> 00:23:59.720
a state or a stage where we rest because we can't
00:23:59.720 --> 00:24:02.950
like physically our body just needs to have some
00:24:02.950 --> 00:24:06.769
rest before it can again get back into that will
00:24:06.769 --> 00:24:11.109
to expand and broaden the perspectives so there's
00:24:11.109 --> 00:24:15.769
natural dance there but that will or that life
00:24:15.769 --> 00:24:23.369
force is still there wanting to explore and experience
00:24:23.369 --> 00:24:34.980
and in the present is where we where we do that
00:24:34.980 --> 00:24:43.220
again in talking about the way we can be distracted
00:24:43.220 --> 00:24:49.200
or wherever our attention can shift into many
00:24:49.200 --> 00:24:53.700
different things my intention isn't really to
00:24:53.700 --> 00:24:56.579
point out how bad that is because there can be
00:24:56.579 --> 00:25:00.039
narratives like that are very judgmental of social
00:25:00.039 --> 00:25:04.680
media or or video games all these kinds of things
00:25:04.680 --> 00:25:09.299
as if there's just one one way of being fully
00:25:09.299 --> 00:25:11.759
present that's just oh you have to like just
00:25:11.759 --> 00:25:14.500
be here in this physical form like with your
00:25:14.500 --> 00:25:20.960
mind just interacting with the real like physical
00:25:20.960 --> 00:25:26.220
dimension here like touching a flower or or whatever
00:25:26.730 --> 00:25:31.410
No, I mean everything is just as real that game
00:25:31.410 --> 00:25:36.730
Might not be real in the way that you you can't
00:25:36.730 --> 00:25:39.029
yet I don't know maybe they develop some games
00:25:39.029 --> 00:25:42.230
like that But you can't go and pick that flower
00:25:42.230 --> 00:25:45.109
with this this hand like you would use some kind
00:25:45.109 --> 00:25:48.349
of controller or interface inside a screen or
00:25:48.349 --> 00:25:51.670
we hit some virtual reality headset or whatever
00:25:51.670 --> 00:25:56.430
it is but then you take a step back, we're actually
00:25:56.430 --> 00:25:59.170
living this game where we can do all those things.
00:25:59.829 --> 00:26:03.029
We can go and physically pick the flowers and
00:26:03.029 --> 00:26:06.089
I see those kinds of games as extra overlays
00:26:06.089 --> 00:26:10.569
of extra reflections of where humans have been
00:26:10.569 --> 00:26:13.589
trying to take something from the human experience
00:26:13.589 --> 00:26:17.089
and shift it around or play with it, experiment
00:26:17.089 --> 00:26:20.319
with it. and then show it in the form of that
00:26:20.319 --> 00:26:22.839
game that you can go and experience a world building
00:26:22.839 --> 00:26:27.079
up worlds in a way to understand something about
00:26:27.079 --> 00:26:30.819
the human condition of this existence or that's
00:26:30.819 --> 00:26:33.880
where I've been landing more and more in my view
00:26:33.880 --> 00:26:38.200
of games that it's very fascinating to see it
00:26:38.200 --> 00:26:41.339
as a representation of this attempt to understand
00:26:41.339 --> 00:26:44.259
existence. And then you can do it in different
00:26:44.259 --> 00:26:46.940
ways, like every game has its own framing, its
00:26:46.940 --> 00:26:50.460
own theme, its own activities you do and you
00:26:50.460 --> 00:26:53.240
can kind of pick a little bit, you take some
00:26:53.240 --> 00:26:56.680
aspects of reality and you create it into a game
00:26:56.680 --> 00:26:59.559
to kind of play with those aspects and so on.
00:27:00.299 --> 00:27:04.039
And then if we want to continue on this train
00:27:04.039 --> 00:27:07.880
of thought of games and reality or games and
00:27:07.880 --> 00:27:13.859
existence, I like many others. that I grew up
00:27:13.859 --> 00:27:18.700
with we played sims and now there are other alternatives
00:27:18.700 --> 00:27:23.680
to this this game that I don't remember the name
00:27:23.680 --> 00:27:26.480
I saw some interesting video but anyway when
00:27:26.480 --> 00:27:28.619
I grew up we didn't have alternatives in the
00:27:28.619 --> 00:27:32.299
same way so I played sims and that's a simulator
00:27:32.299 --> 00:27:38.500
of life of the human life and that's also kind
00:27:38.500 --> 00:27:43.990
of funny way to play with your own beliefs or
00:27:43.990 --> 00:27:48.309
your own hidden desires. Because what is it that
00:27:48.309 --> 00:27:53.690
shapes our experience? It can be my intentional
00:27:53.690 --> 00:27:59.930
conscious ambitions or goals that I know I want
00:27:59.930 --> 00:28:04.029
to do but it's also the level of subconscious
00:28:04.029 --> 00:28:09.150
or suppressed desires or maybe shadow sides that
00:28:09.150 --> 00:28:12.319
I don't want to acknowledge. And when you play
00:28:12.319 --> 00:28:16.420
a game, it's kind of natural that those sides
00:28:16.420 --> 00:28:21.200
will kind of get an outlet and be... Ah, this
00:28:21.200 --> 00:28:24.460
is just a game. No, I don't need to just put
00:28:24.460 --> 00:28:27.640
that cover on it all. I can actually just play
00:28:27.640 --> 00:28:31.180
with it and that can be quite a relief and provide
00:28:31.180 --> 00:28:34.619
a release. I think there's a value in maybe using
00:28:34.619 --> 00:28:38.059
games like that too. But what I noticed when
00:28:38.059 --> 00:28:42.400
I was playing Sims... to give a more concrete
00:28:42.400 --> 00:28:50.160
example was that often those what I did in that
00:28:50.160 --> 00:28:55.779
game would give me some hints about some deeper
00:28:55.779 --> 00:28:58.859
subconscious desires that I wasn't fully acknowledging
00:28:58.859 --> 00:29:02.140
or even aware of and it's more in the activity
00:29:02.140 --> 00:29:05.460
in the act itself that they would just naturally
00:29:05.460 --> 00:29:09.390
come up because that was just play. and I would
00:29:09.390 --> 00:29:11.609
just do what I felt like and when you do what
00:29:11.609 --> 00:29:15.809
you feel like there's a big chance that you get
00:29:15.809 --> 00:29:19.609
it's a way to channel what the subconscious holds
00:29:19.609 --> 00:29:26.069
what energy you also have deeper below so one
00:29:26.069 --> 00:29:31.849
kind of striking example was when in 2019 I was
00:29:31.849 --> 00:29:38.259
living alone and my weekends were free I lived
00:29:38.259 --> 00:29:42.799
in a small town. It wasn't a lot to do. I walked
00:29:42.799 --> 00:29:45.779
in the forest. I learned sailing. I did a lot
00:29:45.779 --> 00:29:49.500
of courses like picking herbs and I was part
00:29:49.500 --> 00:29:53.720
of the world too, but then I was just at home
00:29:53.720 --> 00:29:57.339
in an empty apartment and I played a lot of video
00:29:57.339 --> 00:29:59.880
games and there were times when I would play
00:29:59.880 --> 00:30:04.779
sims and just play because I did feel like my
00:30:04.779 --> 00:30:10.519
life was There was space for that. It was a time
00:30:10.519 --> 00:30:15.680
for reflecting, immersing in my experience and
00:30:15.680 --> 00:30:18.900
kind of contemplating like what is it? What am
00:30:18.900 --> 00:30:22.920
I doing? What is this life about? What do I want
00:30:22.920 --> 00:30:25.279
to do? And then somehow naturally when I was
00:30:25.279 --> 00:30:29.420
playing The Sims, I played it a lot. Some weekends,
00:30:29.720 --> 00:30:33.980
all the whole weekend. And then... And I was...
00:30:33.789 --> 00:30:37.369
I guess in a period of time of grieving and like
00:30:37.369 --> 00:30:41.069
a lost love and or failures or these things that
00:30:41.069 --> 00:30:43.309
we sometimes go through these periods of time
00:30:43.309 --> 00:30:46.930
and was really like searching for answers and
00:30:46.930 --> 00:30:50.789
how do I want to live my life and I kept noticing
00:30:50.789 --> 00:30:54.730
a pattern in The Sims where I would always have
00:30:54.920 --> 00:30:57.279
I would just start playing it with the sim and
00:30:57.279 --> 00:30:58.900
they would have their life they could work with
00:30:58.900 --> 00:31:00.960
different things that didn't matter so much but
00:31:00.960 --> 00:31:06.779
they would always start a family I didn't intentionally
00:31:06.779 --> 00:31:10.460
plan it that way it's like just somehow when
00:31:10.460 --> 00:31:15.980
I played it and the game flowed I would suddenly
00:31:15.980 --> 00:31:18.539
there would be a baby there and a toddler and
00:31:18.539 --> 00:31:25.170
I would just sit there and help that child to
00:31:25.170 --> 00:31:30.329
walk or potty train you can do that now in this
00:31:30.329 --> 00:31:37.250
new sims or latest version and I would just do
00:31:37.250 --> 00:31:41.869
those kinds of ordinary everyday actions and
00:31:41.869 --> 00:31:47.349
I would do it like four times five times they
00:31:47.349 --> 00:31:51.789
would always start a family and I had to then
00:31:51.789 --> 00:31:54.250
take a step back like oh okay what's going on
00:31:54.250 --> 00:32:05.150
here I guess I want the family and in my mind
00:32:05.150 --> 00:32:12.369
on my conscious levels I had been kind of just
00:32:12.369 --> 00:32:16.529
thinking oh I'm just gonna play and I can choose
00:32:16.529 --> 00:32:19.480
to I planned to have a certain type of character
00:32:19.480 --> 00:32:21.740
who would be more of a loner or whatever, but
00:32:21.740 --> 00:32:24.819
it would never end up that way. It was just something
00:32:24.819 --> 00:32:27.279
that always ended up with them having a child.
00:32:29.559 --> 00:32:33.539
So I was made aware of those deeper sides or
00:32:33.539 --> 00:32:37.890
subconscious desires through that game. and it
00:32:37.890 --> 00:32:40.609
can be done through other games or maybe sometimes
00:32:40.609 --> 00:32:43.990
movies or stories whatever something that helps
00:32:43.990 --> 00:32:46.450
the subconscious to get an outlet or something
00:32:46.450 --> 00:32:49.029
where you can experience those sides without
00:32:49.029 --> 00:32:57.630
the need to be so in control of your mind maybe
00:32:57.630 --> 00:33:01.009
because when you're trying to be in this conscious
00:33:01.009 --> 00:33:03.910
place where you're analyzing and consciously
00:33:03.910 --> 00:33:07.589
aware maybe that's how cautious doesn't have
00:33:07.589 --> 00:33:11.309
space to just bubble up what comes up and then
00:33:11.309 --> 00:33:16.809
some fantasies or games or movies or whatever
00:33:16.809 --> 00:33:21.430
this can heal to feel into and have that space
00:33:21.430 --> 00:33:26.869
to play particularly where things come up and
00:33:26.869 --> 00:33:33.390
then two years later I had my my baby and it
00:33:33.390 --> 00:33:37.339
hasn't and I have two children now and a family
00:33:37.339 --> 00:33:41.200
and there's something about this that feels deeply
00:33:41.200 --> 00:33:47.960
right for me and I wouldn't trade it for anything
00:33:47.960 --> 00:33:52.839
I wouldn't want to have those full -on free weekends
00:33:52.839 --> 00:33:54.980
yeah maybe some side of me would want to have
00:33:54.980 --> 00:34:00.509
that sometimes sure who wouldn't But then I remember
00:34:00.509 --> 00:34:03.869
that experience of me alone there and always
00:34:03.869 --> 00:34:08.289
going and playing and making families and then
00:34:08.289 --> 00:34:12.889
now I have family and I pause sometimes when
00:34:12.889 --> 00:34:16.630
I'm walking in the garden with the toddlers exploring
00:34:16.630 --> 00:34:21.610
the world and I realize like it's some kind of
00:34:21.610 --> 00:34:26.769
reality creation where I was practicing or I
00:34:26.769 --> 00:34:31.789
was like preparing myself for experiencing that
00:34:31.789 --> 00:34:36.289
beforehand like foreshadowing in movies where
00:34:36.289 --> 00:34:40.170
you see a something you see an example of for
00:34:40.170 --> 00:34:42.710
example you see a gun hanging on the wall and
00:34:42.710 --> 00:34:45.489
later in the movie you know it's gonna be used
00:34:45.489 --> 00:34:48.090
and some something will happen someone will get
00:34:48.090 --> 00:34:51.670
shot in my case a less dramatic or maybe more
00:34:51.670 --> 00:34:55.030
dramatic in some ways I was just doing that kind
00:34:55.030 --> 00:34:59.389
of foreshadowing for myself or like prepping
00:34:59.389 --> 00:35:02.969
or practicing and then I have that experience
00:35:02.969 --> 00:35:08.650
of potty training and being with these children
00:35:08.650 --> 00:35:16.829
and I don't know how much playing that game then
00:35:16.829 --> 00:35:23.690
made it more available or whatever at least it
00:35:23.690 --> 00:35:27.530
made it more conscious that I knew when the time
00:35:27.530 --> 00:35:30.650
came that I felt a connection where I felt that
00:35:30.650 --> 00:35:34.150
this person wanted to be a parent and I feel
00:35:34.150 --> 00:35:36.809
that this is the person I want to do this with
00:35:36.809 --> 00:35:41.489
I was then able to take that step because that
00:35:41.489 --> 00:35:44.469
had been brought up to my conscious awareness
00:35:44.469 --> 00:35:48.929
and that's some of the beauty with the interplay
00:35:48.929 --> 00:35:52.780
of the subconscious and the conscious and that
00:35:52.780 --> 00:35:56.219
there are these different levels of our experience
00:35:56.219 --> 00:36:01.840
or existence that have different functions or
00:36:01.840 --> 00:36:05.699
different roles but we can we can learn ways
00:36:05.699 --> 00:36:11.820
of kind of making that some levels of the subconscious
00:36:11.820 --> 00:36:16.699
conscious and in so doing in so doing there is
00:36:16.699 --> 00:36:25.059
the possibility to really powerfully shift our
00:36:25.059 --> 00:36:30.300
reality and that was an example where I felt
00:36:30.300 --> 00:36:44.380
that that was going on and then of course in
00:36:44.380 --> 00:36:49.480
having a family and having this new experience
00:36:49.630 --> 00:36:55.090
this totally new reality there's always new layers
00:36:55.090 --> 00:37:02.289
unfolding and opening up or maybe new ways that
00:37:02.289 --> 00:37:05.829
things sides get suppressed again and it's kind
00:37:05.829 --> 00:37:09.190
of part of the interplay or the dance of life
00:37:09.190 --> 00:37:12.989
these processes and that's why i think i said
00:37:12.989 --> 00:37:17.630
in the last episode that for me the truth is
00:37:18.030 --> 00:37:23.150
the process it's just it's not just this one
00:37:23.150 --> 00:37:32.429
static thing it's this process itself and the
00:37:32.429 --> 00:37:41.030
same time truth the process itself spans lifetimes
00:37:41.030 --> 00:37:45.210
and here we can come back to the whole idea of
00:37:45.840 --> 00:37:53.599
It's not your fault that you have these dysfunctional
00:37:53.599 --> 00:37:57.920
mental loops. It's not you actively needing to
00:37:57.920 --> 00:38:02.280
do something with your mind. Maybe you need some
00:38:02.280 --> 00:38:05.159
guidance, some support to be able to shift things.
00:38:05.500 --> 00:38:11.159
It can be shifted. But imagine if we go backwards
00:38:11.159 --> 00:38:15.769
in my own history. of my grandparents fleeing
00:38:15.769 --> 00:38:20.550
from the second world war to different countries
00:38:20.550 --> 00:38:25.030
trying to find work and other grandparents having
00:38:25.030 --> 00:38:30.349
to leave their family home and there was a lot
00:38:30.349 --> 00:38:35.150
of this kind of movement and trying to find home,
00:38:35.530 --> 00:38:40.030
trying to find the roots or make a route something,
00:38:40.829 --> 00:38:45.050
somewhere to land And if I feel into that experience
00:38:45.050 --> 00:38:51.090
or those energies of dislocation, I can see how
00:38:51.090 --> 00:38:55.550
I am playing the next iteration in that process.
00:38:56.690 --> 00:39:00.469
It is relational. It's relational here in the
00:39:00.469 --> 00:39:02.750
here and now, but it's also relational backwards
00:39:02.750 --> 00:39:06.690
and forwards. I'm trying to make a route here
00:39:06.690 --> 00:39:11.559
in Sweden. That was the country where my... My
00:39:11.559 --> 00:39:13.980
grandparents came from my father's side and they
00:39:13.980 --> 00:39:17.800
met here. They didn't they're not Swedish but
00:39:17.800 --> 00:39:21.119
they established a life here in the end and now
00:39:21.119 --> 00:39:27.019
I'm here and I have a rootlessness or a sense
00:39:27.019 --> 00:39:33.599
of Like this longing to establish a root but
00:39:33.599 --> 00:39:36.900
also this awareness that that's maybe not for
00:39:36.900 --> 00:39:43.730
me to do maybe my root is movable maybe maybe
00:39:43.730 --> 00:39:46.230
I have this kind of plant that grows its roots
00:39:46.230 --> 00:39:50.889
in the air and can be moved around maybe it's
00:39:50.889 --> 00:39:55.670
not even a plant what is it it's a butterfly
00:39:55.670 --> 00:40:03.469
that changes shape or something like that some
00:40:03.469 --> 00:40:08.480
kind of weird mutable being and Just having that
00:40:08.480 --> 00:40:11.440
understanding about where you're coming from
00:40:11.440 --> 00:40:16.099
Can be really helpful in taking some of the pressure
00:40:16.099 --> 00:40:19.679
off on yourself that I'm carrying my whole life
00:40:19.679 --> 00:40:23.659
myself actually you're not you're just the outgrowth
00:40:23.659 --> 00:40:29.500
of what has been and You're gonna pave the way
00:40:29.500 --> 00:40:33.699
For what's gonna come? Whatever way you do in
00:40:33.699 --> 00:40:38.219
your life in your sphere You can or you will
00:40:38.219 --> 00:40:40.659
pave the way anyway, whatever regardless of what
00:40:40.659 --> 00:40:45.500
you do and it's all Everyone has their own Purpose
00:40:45.500 --> 00:40:48.199
or role to play and then there's just the question
00:40:48.199 --> 00:40:51.659
of how much do we want to be actively engaging
00:40:51.659 --> 00:40:55.260
with that? And how much do we want just flow
00:40:55.260 --> 00:41:00.280
with it, which is also equally valid and for
00:41:00.280 --> 00:41:04.289
me the kind of Is it called type A personality
00:41:04.289 --> 00:41:06.889
or the kind of control freak that I am? I want
00:41:06.889 --> 00:41:09.829
to be an active participant. That's why I'm going
00:41:09.829 --> 00:41:13.130
into all kinds of existential frameworks I can
00:41:13.130 --> 00:41:16.630
to get as many perspectives on myself as I can
00:41:16.630 --> 00:41:22.210
and to feel into what resonates and how to best
00:41:22.210 --> 00:41:25.389
use it, how to optimize and find the tools that
00:41:25.389 --> 00:41:28.409
I can use and also support others who are also
00:41:28.409 --> 00:41:31.309
similarly inclined that they want to have awareness.
00:41:32.420 --> 00:41:36.460
But more than awareness what I have learned through
00:41:36.460 --> 00:41:42.820
rapid resolution therapy is that that's actually
00:41:42.820 --> 00:41:48.159
something I learned from that perspective was
00:41:48.159 --> 00:41:51.380
kind of life -changing because that gave me the
00:41:51.380 --> 00:41:55.460
answer to why doesn't it help to just sit down
00:41:55.460 --> 00:41:58.820
and write the diary when I'm in this panic state
00:41:58.820 --> 00:42:03.070
and go deeper into the pain. doesn't always help
00:42:03.070 --> 00:42:08.730
and it's because maybe you don't need to shift
00:42:08.730 --> 00:42:11.650
it through your active conscious mind maybe you
00:42:11.650 --> 00:42:15.989
need to talk to that subconscious or even unconscious
00:42:15.989 --> 00:42:22.130
mind the deeper primal part that gives rise to
00:42:22.130 --> 00:42:26.449
these nervous system responses maybe you can
00:42:26.449 --> 00:42:30.789
just kind of go into the wiring under the board
00:42:30.789 --> 00:42:35.010
or into the level of if we have this surface
00:42:35.010 --> 00:42:39.130
of me or the appearance or perception even of
00:42:39.130 --> 00:42:43.369
me maybe there's those deeper layers maybe we
00:42:43.369 --> 00:42:46.690
can actually do something there with how the
00:42:46.690 --> 00:42:51.190
body feels if the body feels safe or not and
00:42:51.190 --> 00:42:54.489
maybe we can just shift things through talking
00:42:54.489 --> 00:42:58.429
directly to the body How does the body or the
00:42:58.429 --> 00:43:02.610
deeper mind understand things? Through sensory
00:43:02.610 --> 00:43:07.550
experience. And there it's even enough to use
00:43:07.550 --> 00:43:10.809
stories and metaphors that paint the picture.
00:43:13.269 --> 00:43:16.389
That's enough for your mind to experience something
00:43:16.389 --> 00:43:20.110
as a real experience and that's why games and
00:43:20.110 --> 00:43:23.949
movies and stories are so powerful because they
00:43:23.949 --> 00:43:29.460
can really shift things. in a deeper way, like
00:43:29.460 --> 00:43:33.599
I already tried to express in that communication
00:43:33.599 --> 00:43:43.360
with the sad or unconscious. So first I describe
00:43:43.360 --> 00:43:46.059
the circle of reactivity where you can break
00:43:46.059 --> 00:43:53.340
the loop of just that reactive tendency and then
00:43:53.340 --> 00:43:56.420
another thing I really want to bring up in this
00:43:56.750 --> 00:44:00.989
conversation is rapid resolution therapy that
00:44:00.989 --> 00:44:06.269
I'm now a student in and really enjoying learning
00:44:06.269 --> 00:44:08.789
more and more about that really shifts things
00:44:08.789 --> 00:44:13.469
on its head contrasted with against traditional
00:44:13.469 --> 00:44:17.630
talk therapy it's more about it's not about analytic
00:44:17.630 --> 00:44:22.769
not like analytically only narrating or talking
00:44:22.769 --> 00:44:28.880
to your experience you have it's about causing
00:44:28.880 --> 00:44:32.639
an experience in the therapeutical setting maybe
00:44:32.639 --> 00:44:34.900
yeah there are many other therapists maybe that
00:44:34.900 --> 00:44:38.460
do it too but this is my own this is the path
00:44:38.460 --> 00:44:41.079
or the door that I found into that that kind
00:44:41.079 --> 00:44:45.960
of process and there it is about the person who
00:44:45.960 --> 00:44:53.659
is supporting the participant can kind of let
00:44:53.659 --> 00:44:57.119
them have an experience where that shift is felt
00:44:57.119 --> 00:45:02.739
in the body and that will just automatically
00:45:02.739 --> 00:45:09.539
shift the way that the mind sees things, the
00:45:09.539 --> 00:45:12.860
way that you experience reality and I had an
00:45:12.860 --> 00:45:16.800
experience of being in that panic state and then
00:45:16.800 --> 00:45:21.139
I attended a training session where I was given
00:45:21.139 --> 00:45:25.039
a kind of relaxation exercise that I was taken
00:45:25.039 --> 00:45:28.360
through where my body was what was spoken to
00:45:28.360 --> 00:45:32.000
wasn't my conscious mind it wasn't about oh tell
00:45:32.000 --> 00:45:34.900
me about your panic like tell everything about
00:45:34.900 --> 00:45:39.780
it go deeper into it rather it was about reminding
00:45:39.780 --> 00:45:45.239
the body how it feels to be safe and is that
00:45:45.239 --> 00:45:50.460
not magnificent to just magnificent to be able
00:45:50.460 --> 00:45:58.429
to sidestep that conscious narrator or that level
00:45:58.429 --> 00:46:01.750
that's trying to go in those endless loops of
00:46:01.750 --> 00:46:04.389
analyzing and explaining and instead you go to
00:46:04.389 --> 00:46:08.769
the root. Like okay the issue here is not how
00:46:08.769 --> 00:46:12.510
you view your panic, the issue is that your body
00:46:12.510 --> 00:46:18.050
is in that type of response where you're feeling
00:46:18.050 --> 00:46:21.429
panicked. So if we remind the body you can feel
00:46:21.429 --> 00:46:29.329
relaxed, so my muscles relaxed and I wasn't in
00:46:29.329 --> 00:46:32.829
panic anymore. There was no reason for me to
00:46:32.829 --> 00:46:36.110
go and analyze it because that wasn't my reality.
00:46:36.550 --> 00:46:40.429
My reality had shifted out of panic into relaxation
00:46:40.429 --> 00:46:44.150
and that's why I'm studying that perspective
00:46:44.150 --> 00:46:48.800
connected to tools for self -awareness. because
00:46:48.800 --> 00:46:53.019
I did realize that no matter how much we learn
00:46:53.019 --> 00:46:56.920
and try to understand ourselves and develop our
00:46:56.920 --> 00:47:00.300
self -awareness if we don't feel safe in our
00:47:00.300 --> 00:47:05.139
bodies we're still kind of feel unsafe no matter
00:47:05.139 --> 00:47:08.539
what we know or how we view ourselves so that
00:47:08.539 --> 00:47:13.739
is a very valuable component or additional tool
00:47:13.739 --> 00:47:19.199
and perspective that I'm bringing in and I haven't
00:47:19.199 --> 00:47:24.079
been sharing about sessions in that perspective
00:47:24.079 --> 00:47:28.719
yet but I think I'm going to start doing some
00:47:28.719 --> 00:47:34.920
yeah some some first versions of that and because
00:47:34.920 --> 00:47:39.159
I think it is so valuable to to share about and
00:47:39.159 --> 00:47:45.920
I'll see how it unfolds with that but In this
00:47:45.920 --> 00:47:51.039
whole talk about reality that is a central view
00:47:51.039 --> 00:47:54.380
in rapid resolution therapy that's why I resonated
00:47:54.380 --> 00:47:57.840
with it in the start already because it has that
00:47:57.840 --> 00:48:05.239
view of our minds as creating the reality or
00:48:05.239 --> 00:48:09.659
creating the framework for what's gonna come,
00:48:09.920 --> 00:48:13.199
what we're gonna experience and it makes sense
00:48:13.199 --> 00:48:22.000
when you think about it because we are positioned
00:48:22.000 --> 00:48:28.360
in this wonderful and weird machinery of a human
00:48:28.360 --> 00:48:31.500
being and then it makes sense to understand how
00:48:31.500 --> 00:48:34.739
does this machinery work and with that maybe
00:48:34.739 --> 00:48:37.579
both the body and the mind I mean they're interconnected
00:48:37.579 --> 00:48:42.420
so yeah of course and that's been like the latest
00:48:42.420 --> 00:48:46.719
step that I've been trying to understand and
00:48:46.719 --> 00:48:52.119
we also have or I have with me a lot of different
00:48:52.119 --> 00:48:57.360
kind of reality creation perspectives or speculations
00:48:57.360 --> 00:49:00.219
about what reality is. I really loved reading
00:49:00.219 --> 00:49:05.559
Isaac Bentov's book The Wild Pendulum. What's
00:49:05.559 --> 00:49:08.429
the whole name? I'll include a reference for
00:49:08.429 --> 00:49:11.570
you. Now I've lately heard about a book called
00:49:11.570 --> 00:49:14.349
Holographic Universe that I haven't read myself,
00:49:14.349 --> 00:49:17.750
but I think it seemed like it has a lot of similar
00:49:17.750 --> 00:49:20.829
thoughts to Isaac Penthoff's, which are basically
00:49:20.829 --> 00:49:24.929
that he describes in that book from many, many
00:49:24.929 --> 00:49:29.570
decades back, that the universe is holographic
00:49:29.570 --> 00:49:36.820
in the way that the seed holds the whole tree
00:49:36.820 --> 00:49:39.860
already that seed and it can become the whole
00:49:39.860 --> 00:49:43.139
tree and in a similar way actually our mind holds
00:49:43.139 --> 00:49:49.360
the image of what could be and the hologram will
00:49:49.360 --> 00:49:55.559
portray it they talk about manifestation your
00:49:55.559 --> 00:50:01.719
intention does drive towards where the energy
00:50:01.719 --> 00:50:10.570
will go and where attention flows. Oh, I lost
00:50:10.570 --> 00:50:15.090
the second part of that sentence. But that's
00:50:15.090 --> 00:50:20.570
where reality grows into shape in what you are
00:50:20.570 --> 00:50:31.400
able to perceive or create. counter arguments
00:50:31.400 --> 00:50:36.940
of course abound. No! I'm not creating this reality
00:50:36.940 --> 00:50:40.019
of this situation where my co -worker is so annoying,
00:50:40.099 --> 00:50:44.719
they are so annoying. But do you have to view
00:50:44.719 --> 00:50:47.119
them as annoying? Maybe you do, maybe you have
00:50:47.119 --> 00:50:51.699
to experience that. But it's still your experience.
00:50:53.920 --> 00:50:57.099
And I'm not gonna, I don't feel like getting
00:50:57.099 --> 00:51:00.449
stuck into that loop of conversation. but if
00:51:00.449 --> 00:51:03.090
there are someone who wants to they're most free
00:51:03.090 --> 00:51:06.530
most welcome to share their views their experiences
00:51:06.530 --> 00:51:10.570
in comments wherever or send me an email or a
00:51:10.570 --> 00:51:14.250
message to talk about it i can do that in this
00:51:14.250 --> 00:51:18.389
episode i'm just trying to set the foundation
00:51:18.389 --> 00:51:22.769
for that my view on reality in this this rambling
00:51:22.769 --> 00:51:29.159
way that seems to be my way of doing this And
00:51:29.159 --> 00:51:32.739
maybe I'm just gonna leave it here for this time.
00:51:33.500 --> 00:51:38.380
And I have this podcast project so I can try
00:51:38.380 --> 00:51:41.619
to clarify or go deeper into some of the areas
00:51:41.619 --> 00:51:45.119
of what I've been talking about in a later episode.
00:51:45.219 --> 00:51:48.280
That's the beauty of having this ongoing process
00:51:48.280 --> 00:51:51.800
of unfolding. So thanks for joining me today
00:51:51.800 --> 00:51:56.039
and I hope you have a lot of fun with your own.
00:51:57.039 --> 00:52:00.059
reality creation experiments.