KCAA: Get Balanced with Dr. Marissa (Wed, 28 Oct, 2026)

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Expect the unexpected.
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That exhausting hamster wheel and into balanced living with dr.
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Marissa promise you joy in the.
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Dr.
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Marissa, also known as the Asian Oprah. Her mission, to
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be a beneficial presence on the planet. Her purpose, to
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be your personal advocate to live, laugh, love, learn. Her
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life motto, don't die wondering. Take back your life with Dr.
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Marissa Paye.
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And welcome. You're tuned in to Take My Advice. I'm
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not using it. Get balanced with Dr. Marissa, the morning show.
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Here on KZAA, NBC News, CNBC News, NBC Sports Radio Station,
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AM 1050, FM 106.5, and streaming everywhere, iHeartRadio, Spotify, iTunes, TuneIn, Audible,
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Amazon Music, Tiki Live, Rumble, Budgets, The Streaker, Spreaker, and more.
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Why so many places?
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Well, I want to maximize my splatter zone for more
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hope and happiness, so there's no gossip, no scandal, no
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K-words here, no Kardashian talk at all. Because I want
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you to focus on your own reality show and how
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you can be happy 88% of the time. So I
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have topics and guests and special series and co-hosts to
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that end. And today is absolutely no exception. As you
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can see from the studio, I have for you this
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morning my beautiful inside and out co-host.
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Of Doctors in the House with myself and Dr. Tiffany Tate.
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And who is Dr. Tiffany Tate? Well, for those of
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you who are new, welcome. For those of you who aren't,
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excuse me, you know who she is. She's a, let's see,
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I mean, first and foremost, the most important thing to
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me is that she is the best peach cobbler maker.
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In the world.
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Yeah.
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But she's also very much a professional U.S. Navy veteran,
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a published author, retired OBGYN from Compton, California. She's had
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to pivot and found herself with exploring a plethora of gifts, talents,
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and abilities as in playwright, singer, poet, songwriter, and much more.
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She's the published author of many children's books, including Bad Touching,
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Money Matters, and her latest is Perfectly Perfect that's doing
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the rounds to much applause and appreciation. She writes to
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help parents speak to their kids about important topics they
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may not be comfortable to do so. And her latest
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venture is running for California State Senate.
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Please welcome back to my studio, Dr.
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Tim.
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Happy Wednesday, everyone. It's such a wonderful Wednesday. So thank
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you for joining us on this wonderful, wonderful Wednesday.
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Yes. Very much welcome you. And I see we already
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have movement in our Cashew Gallery. Hello to Prem and
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the rest of that.
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Username.
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We're so happy. We're happy to have you here.
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We love it when we have an active live Cashew Gallery.
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You are live right now on my YouTube TV channel.
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And we're just so happy to have you. We start
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every weekday morning. I start every weekday morning and Dr.
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Tiffany knows the drill. We start the show with a
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bite of my gratitude sandwich for breakfast and top of
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the bun, is what are we grateful for outside of
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ourselves bottom of the bun what are we grateful for
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inside of ourselves appreciation uh and we do that before
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bed so here we go what are you grateful for
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dr tiffany it's also a chance for us to catch
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up because i don't let her talk to me during
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the week so during breakfast we you know find out
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what each other's doing.
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Absolutely absolutely I am grateful that I've had a lot
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of opportunities to go into the community. I had a
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wonderful opportunity to go onto the campus of Norco Community
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College and talk to the college students. And that was
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a wonderful experience interacting with the next generation. And it
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was very welcoming and it was fabulous.
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Did you learn any new words, like new slang?
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I did not. You know, I live with young adults
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and they teach me a lot.
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Probably have more knowledge than I do, but I know
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that like I can just completely piss off my kids
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if I say I'm dead.
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It was interesting that when I would text Nate and
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Mia and I would put dot, dot, dot, they're like, no,
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don't put that. I was like, well, they really get
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offended with the dot, dot, dots. It means that they
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find it threatening. Really?
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Something to use today.
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No, I'm kidding.
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Yeah, I don't like.
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When I'm having to wait for, you know, because I
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have the P word, right? Patience, people.
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She doesn't like patience.
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So I see that, you know, when people are writing,
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I just call them.
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It's like, don't, yeah, just talk to me. I don't
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have time to wait for your bubbles. Anyways, I am
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grateful that I don't have kids. No, I'm kidding.
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I am grateful, actually, that I booked. My younger daughter
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had a birth date. Last week, Sarah, sweet Sarah.
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And so for her present is a cruise.
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So we're all going on a cruise for like right
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before Christmas. And that's exciting because I have cruise experience,
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but the kids don't.
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So this is something.
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They were on one cruise when Chloe was four and
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Sarah was one or anyway, something like that. They were
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very young. It was not a good experience. So now
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that they're older, this will be a lot of fun.
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So I'm grateful that we're going to go on a cruise.
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What are you grateful for?
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And I am grateful that my sorority sister, Jerry, has
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joined the fray.
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Jerry! Good morning to you! That's so cool.
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I'm always grateful when we support each other. We actually
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have our 65th chapter anniversary coming up this weekend. So
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I'm very grateful for that. We've been serving the Riverside County,
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Moreno Valley, San Bernardino counties for 65 years.
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Wow, that's awesome. And I was going to type this.
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I'll just tell it to you.
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Jerry, there's two views on YouTube now. Apparently some of
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my countries like it the other way.
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So if you want the full view, you can go
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out and find that one. So there's always two now
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of what our shows.
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So for more inclusive to the other countries.
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There you go.
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I am grateful for the Newport Beach Film Festival, which
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has been full swing.
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I've had a great time.
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I got put into one of their clips and I've been.
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Doing my, Dr.
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Marissa, you know me as the Asian Oprah reporting live.
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I've been doing my red carpet dancing and.
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You know, just having a great time.
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Although, you know, starting, like doing a full day between
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the show up at 7 and I'm not home by 1,
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until 1 a.m.
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Is a every single day since last opening night Thursday.
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So tomorrow's the last day, but tonight, if you don't
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have anything to do, please come and join me.
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It's the Pacific showcase.
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It is the best party for the Newport beach film festival.
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That's my opinion because, uh, I'm one of the sponsors
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of the Chinese spotlight film and it's always a great time.
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Dr.
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Tiffany's been there before and had a great time. So, um, come,
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come and join me tonight. Just go to Newport beach
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film festival and, get a pass for tonight.
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Okay. What else are you grateful for?
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I'm grateful for my family. I think it is really important.
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I know some people may not think that their biological
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family is great, but sometimes you can have friends that
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are like family. So whomever your circle is, whoever you
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rely on, whether it's family by blood or friends who
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have become family, whoever whoever your circle is. So I'm
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grateful for my circle, my biological family, my adopted family.
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I'm really grateful for that support that I have, especially now.
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And Dr.
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Chimney's family is also my family. They took me on.
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I took them on. And what a great family you have,
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I have to say. I just love the people in
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your family. The last thing I'm grateful for is I
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made the cut for the top 20. There were 1,500
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contestants in this top host Ryan Seacrest competition, and And
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I made it into the final 380. There's 12 categories,
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I think.
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I'm currently third in my groups. And I'm very grateful.
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I actually closed at second.
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So there's a chance that I can actually win the $ 25, 000
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production award. contract with Ryan Seacrest. And all you have
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to do is just hit the vote and you get
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two votes for free today. It's a very easy, I'm
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doing it for you right there. And if you wouldn't
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mind voting for me for free, you may get my
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happy 88 vision all.
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The way to the top.
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So I'm really, really grateful for all the voting that
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has been going on. and all the support for this competition, Dr.
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Tiffany included.
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Congratulations. Thank you.
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I'm going to give myself a River One. Normally, I
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do not like those vote, you know, things. And I
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was going to stop, but people are like, you're so close.
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So we'll see. We'll see what it takes. All right.
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And do you want to go to the bottom of
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the bun?
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Bottom of the bun.
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So this is weight training for your mental health.
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A lot of us, thanks to my honorable moniker, Oprah,
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talk about mental health now and how you're feeling and
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how you're not feeling well. But we have a tendency
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to look outside of ourselves for relief. And one of
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the ways in which we get on ourselves is we're
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our own worst enemy. And we're always like, looking for
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all the things that we didn't finish or we're not
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good at. And frankly, my dear, if you can't approve
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of yourself, how the fork do you expect.
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Anyone else to?
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So bottom of the bun is before you go to
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bed tonight, I want you to think about what you
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do like about yourself, what you're good at, what you
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are proud of yourself for.
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As Dr. Tiffany will call it, it's a yay, yay me,
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yay me. Yay me and yay you. So that's the exercise.
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And Dr. Tiffany, what do you like about yourself?
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I really love my spirituality. And I think it is important.
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It keeps me grounded and it keeps me with joy
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regardless of what's going on. And I think everybody needs
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to figure out what propels them, what motivates them. And
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what keeps me compassionate. And my love for people. And
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my service to people. And that's what keeps me going.
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Beautiful.
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What I like about myself is.
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How much fun I like having. Wherever I go, I'm
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just attracted to fun.
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I love laughter. It's my favorite sound in life.
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Yesterday was such a wonderful thing at the showcase, the
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European showcase. This Indian gentleman came up to me and
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showed me a picture of me and him from five
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years ago when he was, I think he was my
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driver somewhere. And so he took a selfie and his
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wife and him were celebrating their anniversary together. They walked
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by the Times nightclub, saw the hullabaloo. The people were
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nice enough to invite them in. And he was a celebrity, honey.
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And then he saw me and he came and brought
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his wife over. It was so sweet. Isn't that sweet?
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That's a beautiful story. Thank you. Okay, so I appreciate
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my ability to attract people. cool things. I call those
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what cop moments. What are the chances of that? So, yeah.
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I love it. I absolutely love it.
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Thank you.
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I love my brain. Not a brain on drugs. Absolutely.
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I remember when I was growing up, people would make
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fun of my forehead. They'd be like, oh, you have
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a five-finger forehead or your head is so big. And
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they're like, oh, you just have a big brain. And,
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you know, and now I lean into that because I
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have great intellect. I'm a thinker. I love to reason.
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And I'm like, yeah, I do have a big brain
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and I like to use it and I like to reason.
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And I think it is important, as everyone needs to think.
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And they should think. And we should all think. And
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so I love the fact that I have a five-finger forehead.
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And I love my big, beautiful brain.
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Love it.
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Love it.
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I'll counter, not counter, but I'll extrapolate from that.
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People said when I was young, you're so sensitive. You're
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so sensitive. And now.
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I embrace my sensitivity because it's 100% correlated with creativity.
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So if you're.
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Someone like me who gets mad when people go, yeah,
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it's all sensitive, say thank you.
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That means I'm very creative, and you are. And there
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you go. Thanks for joining us for breakfast.
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I promise you this good life habit, this hashtag blissipline,
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as my big brother Michael Bernard Beckwith will say, will
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help you sandwich your day in the most positive way.
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Thanks for joining us for breakfast.
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And now for the topic.
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Of the day. As I lean in. She leaning in, folks. Yes.
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Today we're going to talk about something that a lot
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of people like to deny. that they are guilty of.
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Some people find it pleasurable in groups or on the phone,
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with girlfriends, with families, with friends, with significant others, or
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as Dr. Marissa says, insignificant others. We're talking about rumors.
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Love rumors.
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Right.
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We are talking about rumors. In 1986, there was a
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group called Club Nouveau. They even wrote a song about it.
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That's what I was looking for.
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Yes, yes, yes. Look at all these rumors around us
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every day. I just need some time, some time to
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get away. Yes, I can't.
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Take it no more. That's it.
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And so this is something that a lot of people
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And I will say, the reason I'm talking about this
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is that I would be like, no, I don't participate
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in rumors. And then I found myself on the phone.
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And I was talking about a celebrity who I have
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never met. And I was speaking about a rumor about
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a celebrity that I had never met. And I was like,
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clutch my pearls, people. I was guilty of spreading a rumor.
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Hmm.
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Throw my hands in the air. Guilty and charged.
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You're going to have to flip you. Slap you. Flip you.
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Right.
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And do you know what a rumor is?
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What is a rumor, Dr. Tiffany?
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Right. It is a story that starts somewhere and it
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travels everywhere. And it picks up a few passengers along
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the way. And eventually... It arrives at a destination. And
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it does not look anything like the truth. And the
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reality is, it doesn't always affect stars. Sometimes it affects
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everyday people. Everyday people. Like you, like me, like your family,
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like your kids. In relationships, at work. So I decided
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to take this, smack it, flip it, rub it upside down,
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swim in it, dive in it. take a bite of it,
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have it for breakfast. So here we are.
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Here we are. Boy, that was an expanded version of that.
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She's on a roll. She's had her coffee this morning.
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Yeah, yeah. Rumors, I know, as soon as someone says
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to me, now, you didn't hear this from me, or
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don't tell anyone I said this, That guaranteed 100%, they
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are also spreading rumors about me. Because if they can
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do that to anyone else, they can do it to me.
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And I take a wide step away. And when people say,
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do you want to know something I heard? Or something,
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especially if they say, do you want to know something
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I heard about you?
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I will say, thank you very much. No.
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If that person wants to communicate to me, they can
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do it directly. And it really takes the freaking wind
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out of their sails and they immediately on. no fun
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to talk to anymore but that's okay because i don't
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want to spread rumors i don't want to be the
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rumor there.
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You go yeah and have you ever heard something about
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yourself and wonder where on the world where in the
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world did that come from.
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Yeah, I've said, oh, I'm so glad I planted that.
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You're like minding your own business, sipping on your own
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tea or coffee, paying your own bills, living your life.
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And you're like, hmm, I don't know. But the interesting
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thing is that there are some statistics about rumors.
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Give it to me.
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And so let me pull that up for you. And
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virtually everyone, virtually everyone engages in gossip or talks about
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absent people spending an average of 52 minutes a day
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on it.
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That's a lot. That's almost an hour.
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Right.
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00:20:58.960 --> 00:21:01.799
There was scientific studies that show roughly 75% of this
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talk is neutral fact sharing, while malicious or negative rumors
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make up a little bit smaller fraction. And so there
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was a study published in the social, psychological, and personality
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science indicating that nearly 96 to 99% of individuals talk
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about other people daily.
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That's a high percentage.
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Right.
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96 to 99%. So while y'all say, it wasn't me,
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the statistics say au contraire, mon frere.
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00:21:46.509 --> 00:21:51.160
All of those tabloids, the popularity of those websites, the
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popularity of e-entertainment, which my friend Larry Namer, who's been
341
00:21:56.539 --> 00:21:59.140
a guest on this show several times, he was one
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00:21:59.160 --> 00:22:02.359
of the co-founders, and I always blame him for the.
343
00:22:03.990 --> 00:22:05.829
The rumors and the gossip.
344
00:22:05.950 --> 00:22:09.430
Around the Kardashians because it's just amazing to me how
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00:22:09.470 --> 00:22:14.390
much time and breath of our lives, not mine, but many,
346
00:22:15.579 --> 00:22:19.599
are spent talking about their lives and now with all
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00:22:19.619 --> 00:22:23.359
the reality shows, you know, I do love, I love
348
00:22:23.579 --> 00:22:24.859
watching Love is Blind.
349
00:22:24.940 --> 00:22:25.960
I know that's silly.
350
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It's my one, you know, no thinking kind of thing
351
00:22:30.049 --> 00:22:33.619
and it is romantic. It makes me you know, sort
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00:22:33.650 --> 00:22:36.640
of belief that it's possible to, to fall in love
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00:22:36.660 --> 00:22:42.019
with someone, you know, sight unseen. However, um, it's amazing
354
00:22:42.079 --> 00:22:46.220
to me how much time is spent even chatting about that.
355
00:22:46.299 --> 00:22:51.029
Like there's shows about that show and all of the
356
00:22:51.089 --> 00:22:53.950
gossip and the rumors. And to me that just It
357
00:22:53.970 --> 00:22:56.670
doesn't make sense to me because there's so many other
358
00:22:56.710 --> 00:22:57.789
things we could be doing.
359
00:22:58.269 --> 00:22:59.910
Learning a new language.
360
00:23:00.450 --> 00:23:04.359
Going for a walk, seeing birds, and I don't know.
361
00:23:04.730 --> 00:23:07.039
To me, that doesn't seem like a good use of time,
362
00:23:07.099 --> 00:23:08.740
but I'm not the majority.
363
00:23:09.619 --> 00:23:15.819
But there's some research on why. Okay. And so when
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00:23:15.859 --> 00:23:18.660
you're looking at that, they said you want to be
365
00:23:18.769 --> 00:23:27.450
careful because the research studies on behavior... evaluate gossip in
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the workplace and maltreatment and false beliefs and misinformation. And
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00:23:34.039 --> 00:23:40.380
so those are connected to subjects, not necessarily all the
368
00:23:40.440 --> 00:23:43.740
other stuff. And so they look at what research tells
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00:23:43.859 --> 00:23:47.849
us about the environment in which rumors are spread. And
370
00:23:47.869 --> 00:23:52.099
so a 2019 study published in Proceedings of the National
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00:23:52.160 --> 00:23:57.420
Academy of Sciences. And so they looked at like Twitter,
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00:23:57.839 --> 00:24:00.200
which is now known as X. And so the research
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00:24:00.319 --> 00:24:07.160
analyzed approximately 126,000 news cascades. And it shared about 3
374
00:24:07.160 --> 00:24:12.519
million people between 2006 and 2017. And their findings were striking.
375
00:24:13.039 --> 00:24:18.140
False news traveled farther, faster, deeper, and more broadly.
376
00:24:19.190 --> 00:24:20.549
Than true news in.
377
00:24:20.529 --> 00:24:25.869
The database that they study. And false studies and stories
378
00:24:26.549 --> 00:24:31.700
were more novel on average. And the researchers suggested that
379
00:24:32.160 --> 00:24:39.019
novelty and human reactions helped explain why people shared them.
380
00:24:39.440 --> 00:24:43.430
And so let me put that into everyday language just
381
00:24:43.450 --> 00:24:48.450
to kind of break it down. Sometimes the truth is
382
00:24:48.509 --> 00:24:54.069
too ordinary and a rumor is just more dramatic because
383
00:24:54.210 --> 00:24:58.670
we love drama. That's why we watch shows like Keeping
384
00:24:58.730 --> 00:25:03.450
Up with the Kardashians. It is entertaining. And when we
385
00:25:03.529 --> 00:25:08.250
look at TV, that's fake drama. And then you think, well,
386
00:25:08.569 --> 00:25:13.029
real drama is more entertaining because it's an escape from
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00:25:13.109 --> 00:25:17.309
our own lives. And so the truth says, well... They
388
00:25:17.349 --> 00:25:21.769
had a disagreement and it's a break from us. And
389
00:25:21.829 --> 00:25:25.410
the rumor says, well, they have hated each other for
390
00:25:25.410 --> 00:25:29.890
10 years. And so let's just watch this play out.
391
00:25:30.559 --> 00:25:36.019
And somebody is about to expose everything on the Internet.
392
00:25:36.240 --> 00:25:39.259
So let's just follow this story. And we get a
393
00:25:39.279 --> 00:25:43.440
chance to break from our lives and just be like, OK,
394
00:25:43.660 --> 00:25:47.190
let's just follow this and see where it goes. And
395
00:25:47.230 --> 00:25:50.759
then which story you think attracts more attention. And so
396
00:25:50.799 --> 00:25:55.960
we really need to remember, though, that this research examined
397
00:25:56.980 --> 00:26:01.579
news stories on a particular social media platform. And so
398
00:26:01.660 --> 00:26:04.930
remember that Twitter, formerly known as X. And so when
399
00:26:04.970 --> 00:26:09.029
we're looking at this, we're like, okay, that's how that's going.
400
00:26:09.049 --> 00:26:12.329
And so when you're looking at it in your personal lives,
401
00:26:12.710 --> 00:26:13.609
it's a little bit different.
402
00:26:15.119 --> 00:26:15.319
Yeah. Yeah.
403
00:26:15.829 --> 00:26:18.029
I was just doing the story for IG to get
404
00:26:18.069 --> 00:26:18.670
people here.
405
00:26:19.089 --> 00:26:23.250
But not that you all that are already here aren't important,
406
00:26:23.329 --> 00:26:24.890
because you are, and.
407
00:26:24.549 --> 00:26:28.349
I love it. We've got a pretty active Cashew Gallery.
408
00:26:28.430 --> 00:26:35.920
But, yeah, I understand the idea of your life is
409
00:26:36.000 --> 00:26:38.799
boring and you want a little drama in your life.
410
00:26:38.900 --> 00:26:40.460
I guess I understand that.
411
00:26:41.880 --> 00:26:44.880
Because that's why my show is one of a kind
412
00:26:44.920 --> 00:26:46.420
because I don't talk about the news.
413
00:26:46.500 --> 00:26:49.329
I don't talk about the headlines because if it leads,
414
00:26:49.690 --> 00:26:50.349
it bleeds.
415
00:26:50.650 --> 00:26:55.329
And that's the whole shock and awe and oh, like
416
00:26:55.369 --> 00:26:58.910
that kind of reaction that people want. That's why producers
417
00:26:58.970 --> 00:27:02.230
pick those. That's why me as a producer of my
418
00:27:02.269 --> 00:27:05.609
own show don't pick those because I don't want that
419
00:27:05.710 --> 00:27:06.880
kind of reaction.
420
00:27:07.299 --> 00:27:09.119
That's why they said I wouldn't last for more than
421
00:27:09.140 --> 00:27:09.480
a year.
422
00:27:09.980 --> 00:27:13.740
But the but the The particular part, I'm not saying
423
00:27:13.779 --> 00:27:17.089
that that's a bad part of us. It's just one
424
00:27:17.130 --> 00:27:21.930
of those things to be cognizant of, like you are
425
00:27:21.990 --> 00:27:27.670
the boss of your attention. So there's no gun pointed
426
00:27:27.730 --> 00:27:30.950
to your head to say you have to talk about
427
00:27:30.990 --> 00:27:34.680
whatever the TMZ or the news or whatever they're presenting you.
428
00:27:35.369 --> 00:27:39.319
Because often it is not true, as Dr. Tiffany just illustrated.
429
00:27:39.339 --> 00:27:44.940
It's false information traveling at the speed of bad, right?
430
00:27:45.059 --> 00:27:48.059
Of darkness, not of light. And I'll give you a
431
00:27:48.079 --> 00:27:48.880
great example.
432
00:27:48.920 --> 00:27:52.970
Before I interviewed Halle Berry, I heard all the negative
433
00:27:53.009 --> 00:27:55.990
stuff about her. There was a lot more negative stuff
434
00:27:56.069 --> 00:27:59.210
about her than positive stuff. And when I interviewed her,
435
00:27:59.289 --> 00:28:02.099
and I know it was not a long time But
436
00:28:02.220 --> 00:28:04.299
I'm an energy, energetic person.
437
00:28:04.440 --> 00:28:06.000
I'm energy. We're all energy.
438
00:28:06.099 --> 00:28:11.000
And I'm good at actually feeling energy. And you watch
439
00:28:11.039 --> 00:28:11.579
the interview.
440
00:28:12.160 --> 00:28:16.299
I mean, she's a beautiful inside and out. Is she perfect?
441
00:28:16.339 --> 00:28:16.660
No.
442
00:28:17.180 --> 00:28:21.380
So just recently, I did not look for it.
443
00:28:21.400 --> 00:28:24.089
And it smacked me, something about Halle Berry and, you know,
444
00:28:24.150 --> 00:28:28.369
the custody and da-da-da and the sun. And it's like, y'all...
445
00:28:29.500 --> 00:28:31.779
You've never been mad at your kid ever.
446
00:28:32.000 --> 00:28:33.319
You've never been mad at your kid.
447
00:28:33.599 --> 00:28:36.480
You've never seen the ugliness that goes on in a
448
00:28:36.549 --> 00:28:37.430
custody battle.
449
00:28:37.769 --> 00:28:41.849
Hello. And it's like, why do we what? Sorry.
450
00:28:42.490 --> 00:28:45.569
Why do we entertain? Because you can't blame the news.
451
00:28:45.650 --> 00:28:47.880
You're watching it. That's why they're putting it up.
452
00:28:48.329 --> 00:28:48.579
Right.
453
00:28:48.910 --> 00:28:53.359
So, you know, what can we can we all collectively
454
00:28:53.480 --> 00:28:54.609
at least what is it?
455
00:28:54.619 --> 00:28:58.119
You said 56 minutes in an hour. People are doing that.
456
00:28:58.650 --> 00:29:03.289
Or talking about it, you know, like take back 20 minutes.
457
00:29:05.710 --> 00:29:08.250
See if you can't find something better to do for
458
00:29:08.250 --> 00:29:11.829
20 minutes. Sorry, I'll get off my high horse.
459
00:29:12.390 --> 00:29:14.470
Yeah, and you have to look at the why. Why
460
00:29:14.509 --> 00:29:18.950
do people spread rumors in the first place? And so
461
00:29:19.019 --> 00:29:22.779
you look at this, and sometimes they're like, well, why
462
00:29:22.799 --> 00:29:25.420
are they famous? Why do they have all that money?
463
00:29:25.480 --> 00:29:28.700
I think somebody put in there, how did you become
464
00:29:28.740 --> 00:29:30.819
a billionaire? Some people will look at, well, why do
465
00:29:30.839 --> 00:29:34.630
they have all that money? And there is no single
466
00:29:34.970 --> 00:29:39.109
answer when it comes to two things. Sometimes people are
467
00:29:39.190 --> 00:29:42.180
bored with their own. lives or they just want entertainment.
468
00:29:42.839 --> 00:29:46.599
And I am drama. Therefore, I am.
469
00:29:47.519 --> 00:29:51.680
Yes. And it doesn't mean that it's necessarily a bad
470
00:29:51.839 --> 00:29:56.079
thing to ask the question. I think it can become
471
00:29:56.119 --> 00:30:01.700
a distracting thing to be stuck on the question and
472
00:30:01.839 --> 00:30:08.559
to let it perpetuate and perseverate and stay there for
473
00:30:08.559 --> 00:30:16.930
52 to 54 minutes a day. And I think we misunderstand.
474
00:30:17.750 --> 00:30:22.970
You have that missed understanding. And when you keep talking
475
00:30:23.029 --> 00:30:25.349
about it, And it's kind of like that telephone game
476
00:30:25.390 --> 00:30:27.289
that you used to play when you were in elementary school.
477
00:30:27.609 --> 00:30:30.309
You tell one person and another person and another person.
478
00:30:30.630 --> 00:30:32.529
And by the time it gets all the way around,
479
00:30:32.950 --> 00:30:38.200
the message is all distorted. And that's how it can
480
00:30:38.259 --> 00:30:42.079
be again. And so when you're talking about whether it's
481
00:30:42.119 --> 00:30:46.119
a celebrity, whether it's your cousin, whether it's your sister,
482
00:30:46.160 --> 00:30:50.119
your brother, your friend, or even your children, the story
483
00:30:50.180 --> 00:30:53.869
can get distorted. We can talk about it even more
484
00:30:54.450 --> 00:30:55.210
after the break.
485
00:30:55.930 --> 00:31:03.200
Yes, we can. I'm just putting up the story that's
486
00:31:03.220 --> 00:31:08.220
supposed to go right after breakfast, but oh well. Yes,
487
00:31:08.299 --> 00:31:10.200
we have to take a quick break.
488
00:31:09.990 --> 00:31:12.529
For news, weather, traffic, and a word from our sponsor.
489
00:31:12.569 --> 00:31:15.309
Don't go away. We'll be right back in two and two.
490
00:31:15.890 --> 00:31:18.789
That's Chuck Woolery's two minutes, but it'll be less than
491
00:31:18.829 --> 00:31:21.809
that in two. And two pieces in and piece out.
492
00:31:22.109 --> 00:31:28.779
Don't go away. We'll be right back. And where is it?
493
00:31:30.140 --> 00:31:35.140
There's a gremlin in my studio right now. I can't
494
00:31:35.180 --> 00:31:36.319
get to my.
495
00:31:36.480 --> 00:31:38.119
Well, I'll just keep talking until she gets it.
496
00:31:38.119 --> 00:31:39.140
Yes, you do that.
497
00:31:39.299 --> 00:31:42.529
And so sometimes there's a sense of jealousy and comparison
498
00:31:43.609 --> 00:31:48.950
where people are not really understanding things going on in
499
00:31:49.049 --> 00:31:54.539
your life. And so they start nitpicking you, you and
500
00:31:54.579 --> 00:31:59.609
your family. And sometimes there's a desire for attention. Information
501
00:31:59.950 --> 00:32:05.269
can become currency. And that is an interest.
502
00:32:07.410 --> 00:32:10.240
I'm sorry, Dr. Tiffany. Something's going on. I'm going to
503
00:32:10.259 --> 00:32:12.519
have to go back and come back in. You keep talking.
504
00:32:12.539 --> 00:32:16.039
We're talking about rumors, folks. And there's a rumor that
505
00:32:16.079 --> 00:32:18.460
there's a gremlin in the studio. Go ahead.
506
00:32:19.230 --> 00:32:25.829
And sometimes there can be revenge and resentment. And when
507
00:32:25.869 --> 00:32:32.619
you have that, a friendship can sometimes end, which is
508
00:32:32.759 --> 00:32:36.220
unfortunate because a lot of times with just communication, you
509
00:32:36.819 --> 00:32:40.859
can build those bridges. But you have to be willing
510
00:32:41.359 --> 00:32:46.119
to have that dialogue. When you're not willing to have
511
00:32:46.140 --> 00:32:50.130
that dialogue, there could be hurt feelings. especially when that
512
00:32:50.170 --> 00:32:55.000
resentment and that revenge is there. Yes.
513
00:32:55.900 --> 00:32:58.160
And we got the gremlin out.
514
00:32:58.319 --> 00:33:01.059
We'll be back after we take a quick break for news, weather, traffic,
515
00:33:01.079 --> 00:33:02.160
and a word from our sponsor.
516
00:33:02.180 --> 00:33:03.609
Don't go away. We'll be right back.
517
00:33:20.049 --> 00:33:22.130
Take back your life with Dr. Morris.
518
00:33:25.539 --> 00:33:28.380
Well, she has been dubbed the Asian Oprah, and she
519
00:33:28.420 --> 00:33:37.730
just wants all of us to be happy. Dr.
520
00:33:37.789 --> 00:33:41.769
Marissa, aka the Asian Oprah, says the most important thing
521
00:33:41.849 --> 00:33:44.589
you can choose is choosing to be happy.
522
00:33:44.650 --> 00:33:48.269
You are tuned into my weekly talk radio TV show
523
00:33:48.289 --> 00:33:49.869
called Take My Advice.
524
00:33:49.910 --> 00:33:52.079
I'm not using it. Get balanced with Dr.
525
00:33:52.099 --> 00:33:52.339
Marissa.
526
00:34:04.250 --> 00:34:05.630
That's the idea for Dr.
527
00:34:05.670 --> 00:34:09.110
Marissa Paye's new book called Eight Ways to Be Happy.
528
00:34:09.449 --> 00:34:12.719
Many of us say, I am my own worst critic.
529
00:34:13.300 --> 00:34:16.039
Nobody's harder on me than I am.
530
00:34:16.519 --> 00:34:19.210
And my response to that is, stop it.
531
00:34:20.650 --> 00:34:23.789
Why are you doing that to yourself you have to
532
00:34:23.849 --> 00:34:24.309
be your.
533
00:34:24.230 --> 00:34:26.670
Biggest fan because if you can't at the end of
534
00:34:26.710 --> 00:34:29.909
the day say I did a good job who is
535
00:34:30.369 --> 00:34:33.050
we don't have to constantly be angry at the things
536
00:34:33.070 --> 00:34:35.590
that are wrong why don't we choose to be happy
537
00:34:35.909 --> 00:34:39.530
about things that are right we have the choice that's.
538
00:34:39.449 --> 00:34:41.699
Our muscle and and life.
539
00:34:41.500 --> 00:34:45.079
Is so amazing if we can see it.
540
00:34:50.900 --> 00:34:54.219
Do you think things are going well in Sacramento and D.C.?
541
00:34:54.679 --> 00:34:57.610
Do you think gas prices, inflation, and the cost of
542
00:34:57.650 --> 00:35:00.829
living are where they're supposed to be? Can you easily
543
00:35:00.889 --> 00:35:05.489
afford buying a home and homeowner's insurance? Our incumbent thinks so.
544
00:35:05.530 --> 00:35:09.670
He openly praises Donald Trump, lies to us about the
545
00:35:09.690 --> 00:35:13.510
cost of living, and then shifts the conversation to non-issues
546
00:35:13.550 --> 00:35:16.670
that affect less than 1% of us. I know things
547
00:35:16.750 --> 00:35:19.449
are broken, and this isn't the country that I fought for.
548
00:35:20.110 --> 00:35:22.690
I served our country in the Navy as a general
549
00:35:22.730 --> 00:35:26.150
medical officer and earned the Global War on Terrorism Service Medal.
550
00:35:26.730 --> 00:35:30.889
I've delivered hundreds of babies as an OB-GYN here locally. Well,
551
00:35:31.070 --> 00:35:33.760
too many of us are not thriving, and that needs
552
00:35:33.780 --> 00:35:36.139
to change. I will fight to lower the cost of
553
00:35:36.159 --> 00:35:39.199
living to make sure we have access to amazing healthcare
554
00:35:39.380 --> 00:35:41.900
and make sure our schools are fully funded. I'm Dr.
555
00:35:41.920 --> 00:35:44.960
Tiffany Tate, Democrat running to be your next state senator,
556
00:35:45.239 --> 00:35:47.239
and I will be honored to earn your votes.
557
00:36:05.599 --> 00:36:08.199
Take back your life with Dr. Marissa Paye.
558
00:36:17.750 --> 00:36:19.010
Dr. Marissa, I can't hear you.
559
00:36:19.989 --> 00:36:22.719
And welcome back. You're tuned in to Take My Advice.
560
00:36:23.079 --> 00:36:25.500
I'm not using it. Get balanced with Dr.
561
00:36:25.539 --> 00:36:29.719
Marissa, the morning show here on KCAA, NBC News Radio,
562
00:36:30.000 --> 00:36:32.280
home to the Asian Oprah, number one talk.
563
00:36:32.079 --> 00:36:36.789
In the IE. Thank you very much. And streaming everywhere, iHeartRadio, Spotify, and.
564
00:36:36.730 --> 00:36:39.730
Of course my YouTube TV channel, which houses all 1,780
565
00:36:39.730 --> 00:36:47.110
podcast shows nationwide. over the past 753 consecutive weeks to
566
00:36:47.130 --> 00:36:52.969
a user impression number of over 5.2 million.
567
00:36:53.010 --> 00:36:55.599
We hit that 5.2 million, Dr. Tiffany, I forgot to
568
00:36:55.639 --> 00:36:59.940
tell you. And yeah, so we're so happy you're here.
569
00:37:00.039 --> 00:37:05.610
This is my very special Wednesday series called Doctors in
570
00:37:05.650 --> 00:37:08.030
the House with myself and.
571
00:37:08.050 --> 00:37:08.110
Dr.
572
00:37:09.170 --> 00:37:10.530
Tiffany Tate.
573
00:37:10.650 --> 00:37:12.309
And you know her as a U.S.
574
00:37:12.349 --> 00:37:16.199
Navy veteran and OBGYN from Compton, California.
575
00:37:16.739 --> 00:37:17.739
And so much more.
576
00:37:17.820 --> 00:37:22.500
She's pivoted into not just being a best-selling children's book author,
577
00:37:22.880 --> 00:37:26.500
but she's also running for California State Senate.
578
00:37:27.079 --> 00:37:31.000
Please welcome back to the studio, Dr. Tiffany Tate.
579
00:37:31.079 --> 00:37:31.320
Thank you.
580
00:37:37.070 --> 00:37:43.230
And Wednesday. What's the topic of the day? Look at
581
00:37:43.369 --> 00:37:47.469
all these rumors around us every day. Hey, hey, I
582
00:37:47.489 --> 00:37:51.170
just need some time to get away.
583
00:37:51.389 --> 00:37:55.800
Hey, love, love, love rumors. Just kidding.
584
00:37:55.960 --> 00:37:56.340
Sort of.
585
00:37:57.199 --> 00:37:57.579
Yeah.
586
00:37:57.659 --> 00:38:00.539
So what's the latest rumor you've heard? I mean, it
587
00:38:00.679 --> 00:38:06.159
is so prevalent. Like, you can't go grocery shopping without
588
00:38:06.219 --> 00:38:10.139
hearing someone in line say something about somebody or you
589
00:38:10.179 --> 00:38:13.360
know the tabloids that are like right there to keep
590
00:38:13.400 --> 00:38:18.119
you busy and planting um most of the time was
591
00:38:18.179 --> 00:38:23.900
there a percentage of all rumors what how many percent
592
00:38:23.980 --> 00:38:26.460
rumors are actually true zero.
593
00:38:26.039 --> 00:38:29.150
Well they they did not talk about the percentage of
594
00:38:29.210 --> 00:38:31.929
rumors that were true they just talked about how often
595
00:38:32.449 --> 00:38:35.099
um People tell rumors or talk about people, which is
596
00:38:35.119 --> 00:38:40.500
about 96%, which I thought was pretty significant. So people
597
00:38:40.539 --> 00:38:43.269
can say that they don't do it, but they do it.
598
00:38:43.769 --> 00:38:46.590
So imagine, I know that I pick up the phone.
599
00:38:46.949 --> 00:38:50.449
People talk about other people on a regular basis. And
600
00:38:50.610 --> 00:38:53.650
we don't even realize how frequently we do it, whether
601
00:38:53.670 --> 00:38:56.510
it's directly or indirectly. You pick up the phone and
602
00:38:56.530 --> 00:38:58.059
you're like, oh, how such and such. They doing this,
603
00:38:58.079 --> 00:39:00.650
they doing that, they doing X, Y, and Z. You're
604
00:39:00.670 --> 00:39:02.650
talking about somebody else and the other person isn't on
605
00:39:02.670 --> 00:39:07.849
the phone. And so you're talking about somebody else and
606
00:39:08.269 --> 00:39:12.300
they're not there. And so that's just the reality of
607
00:39:12.340 --> 00:39:20.280
the situation. And I think you can, it can extrapolate
608
00:39:20.320 --> 00:39:24.010
and it can go positive or negative. Go ahead, Dr. Marissa. Yeah.
609
00:39:24.269 --> 00:39:27.610
Is there any time where like when you say, oh,
610
00:39:27.730 --> 00:39:29.889
did you hear so-and-so is not well?
611
00:39:30.449 --> 00:39:33.989
Is that not a, is that still not in a
612
00:39:34.050 --> 00:39:36.860
good category? It can be positive.
613
00:39:37.280 --> 00:39:41.039
It can be positive. It can be positive. Sometimes it
614
00:39:41.059 --> 00:39:43.420
can also go bad. It can be like, well, I
615
00:39:43.480 --> 00:39:46.460
heard such and such was was doing X, Y, and Z.
616
00:39:46.539 --> 00:39:48.679
And I heard such and such was going to jail.
617
00:39:48.699 --> 00:39:51.380
I heard such and such was in jail. And that's
618
00:39:51.400 --> 00:39:53.889
how my conversation went. It was about a star who
619
00:39:53.909 --> 00:39:56.150
shall remain nameless. And it was like, I heard such
620
00:39:56.190 --> 00:39:57.650
and such is in jail and they have a cell
621
00:39:57.670 --> 00:40:00.730
phone and blah, this and blah, that. And I was like, Oh, well,
622
00:40:00.849 --> 00:40:04.630
you know, well, I heard, um, I think that's a,
623
00:40:05.139 --> 00:40:08.500
that's fine because I heard this about them. And I
624
00:40:08.539 --> 00:40:14.260
was like, well, and so, um, I think when it
625
00:40:14.340 --> 00:40:19.619
comes to what you heard and what you heard, who cares?
626
00:40:21.519 --> 00:40:29.119
I mean, really, that's exactly how I snap myself out
627
00:40:29.360 --> 00:40:32.190
of going down the lane of.
628
00:40:32.190 --> 00:40:36.969
Wasting my time. I use that exact expression, right?
629
00:40:37.210 --> 00:40:39.510
I don't say it to the person speaking to me
630
00:40:39.530 --> 00:40:43.389
because I don't want to be that blatantly rude. right?
631
00:40:43.730 --> 00:40:47.150
But in my head, I have to say who cares
632
00:40:47.670 --> 00:40:48.489
to myself.
633
00:40:48.650 --> 00:40:50.550
And I'll tell you when I have to do that,
634
00:40:50.949 --> 00:40:55.409
especially if I wake up and there's a ding or
635
00:40:55.449 --> 00:40:59.090
there's a notification or anytime during the day and I
636
00:40:59.150 --> 00:41:02.099
hit it and I see something and then I start
637
00:41:02.139 --> 00:41:07.139
doing this, MS, meaningless scrolling, and then hitting and then hitting.
638
00:41:07.519 --> 00:41:11.699
And I have to stop myself with who cares? Like,
639
00:41:12.289 --> 00:41:15.989
Who cares about this fact that then leads you to
640
00:41:16.050 --> 00:41:17.849
hit this and then this fact?
641
00:41:18.150 --> 00:41:19.789
Like, who cares?
642
00:41:21.710 --> 00:41:24.869
I have a choice whether I care about this or not.
643
00:41:25.869 --> 00:41:28.150
And if I care about it, I have to accept
644
00:41:28.190 --> 00:41:32.329
the consequences that the 10 minutes that I just wasted,
645
00:41:33.269 --> 00:41:33.989
now I'm late.
646
00:41:35.530 --> 00:41:37.710
Well, I look at it like this. When it comes
647
00:41:37.750 --> 00:41:43.010
to someone's private personal life, If they're not intimately involved
648
00:41:43.050 --> 00:41:47.579
with me, it is none of my business. So what
649
00:41:47.639 --> 00:41:51.639
someone is doing behind closed doors, it should stay behind
650
00:41:51.699 --> 00:41:53.679
closed doors. Yeah.
651
00:41:54.420 --> 00:41:55.619
Yeah.
652
00:41:55.760 --> 00:42:00.219
As long as they're not bringing harm to other people
653
00:42:00.300 --> 00:42:03.309
and it's not against the law, God bless them. God
654
00:42:03.329 --> 00:42:05.800
be with them. May the Lord watch between me and Eve.
655
00:42:06.409 --> 00:42:09.090
Me and Diwa, we're absent one from another. And so
656
00:42:09.610 --> 00:42:11.789
when it comes to the digital rumor mill, like you
657
00:42:11.829 --> 00:42:15.739
were saying, when you're scrolling, I look at it like this.
658
00:42:16.119 --> 00:42:20.440
When it comes to political facts, I will read those
659
00:42:20.519 --> 00:42:23.760
facts because I get a lot of news on my phone.
660
00:42:24.199 --> 00:42:26.260
And so I think when it comes to that, I
661
00:42:26.280 --> 00:42:28.800
take the time to read that. And I think it's
662
00:42:28.860 --> 00:42:31.940
important to distinguish fact from fiction.
663
00:42:32.900 --> 00:42:33.199
Yes.
664
00:42:33.480 --> 00:42:36.010
And we have a lot of fiction on social media.
665
00:42:36.480 --> 00:42:38.739
And you have to distinguish the fact from fiction.
666
00:42:39.400 --> 00:42:40.820
But I will say that.
667
00:42:41.239 --> 00:42:43.760
We're having a little, a lot of.
668
00:42:44.460 --> 00:42:45.159
No, no, no.
669
00:42:46.090 --> 00:42:50.150
I put this up on purpose. All sides media bias chart.
670
00:42:50.409 --> 00:42:52.829
So move your head a little so that you're still
671
00:42:52.869 --> 00:42:53.929
in the frame. The other way.
672
00:42:54.030 --> 00:42:54.269
Okay.
673
00:42:54.690 --> 00:42:56.090
Okay, the other way. There we go.
674
00:42:56.530 --> 00:43:00.489
Because I want you to look at this with me.
675
00:43:01.409 --> 00:43:04.070
It's not updated, but it's the last one I had.
676
00:43:04.739 --> 00:43:08.590
to show that even when you say the truth, Dr. Tiffany,
677
00:43:08.650 --> 00:43:12.030
and you say, what is the truth in the news? Remember,
678
00:43:12.130 --> 00:43:15.449
there's no such thing as unbiased media.
679
00:43:16.289 --> 00:43:21.929
No such thing. All media is biased. So be sure if.
680
00:43:21.909 --> 00:43:25.289
You're getting your news from either side, left or right,
681
00:43:25.750 --> 00:43:28.909
that has bias. I try not, if I have to
682
00:43:28.949 --> 00:43:34.800
listen to the news, I will go to the middle. BBC, NPR,
683
00:43:34.980 --> 00:43:37.960
and Reuters. Those are the ones, if I have to,
684
00:43:38.099 --> 00:43:40.300
and Dr. Tiffany knows I hate listening to the news,
685
00:43:40.659 --> 00:43:42.820
because if it bleeds, it leads, and it gives me
686
00:43:42.860 --> 00:43:44.079
a case of the four A's.
687
00:43:44.559 --> 00:43:48.239
Angry, aggravated, anxious, and afraid. I don't want to do that.
688
00:43:48.599 --> 00:43:51.880
So I let her do that, because she does listen
689
00:43:51.960 --> 00:43:52.940
to the news.
690
00:43:53.380 --> 00:43:55.570
But I just wanted to bring that up. Only because
691
00:43:55.610 --> 00:43:58.929
you said, you know, if I want to know the truth,
692
00:43:59.309 --> 00:44:00.329
I go to the news.
693
00:44:00.349 --> 00:44:01.570
Absolutely.
694
00:44:01.900 --> 00:44:04.199
Yes. And I listen to BBC as well. Yes.
695
00:44:04.360 --> 00:44:07.719
There's places that are true and then not so true.
696
00:44:08.139 --> 00:44:08.280
Yeah.
697
00:44:08.300 --> 00:44:10.260
So you want to get the facts, not fiction.
698
00:44:10.699 --> 00:44:10.800
Yes.
699
00:44:10.820 --> 00:44:11.159
Correct.
700
00:44:11.559 --> 00:44:15.349
Correct. And so I think it's important because sometimes you'll
701
00:44:15.369 --> 00:44:20.769
see a screenshot or a headline is often misunderstood or
702
00:44:20.809 --> 00:44:24.889
there's a private message and it takes off like wildfire.
703
00:44:25.349 --> 00:44:29.010
And it's nothing more than a rumor. And so we
704
00:44:29.170 --> 00:44:34.030
really need to be careful. With what happens. And whether
705
00:44:34.179 --> 00:44:40.050
it is your personal life. Or even political. Or even romantic.
706
00:44:41.190 --> 00:44:45.659
And so. We really need to be conscious. Of what
707
00:44:45.860 --> 00:44:50.260
is happening. Because. As we can see. It's happening on
708
00:44:50.300 --> 00:44:54.219
a regular basis. Whether it's in a friendship. Whether it's
709
00:44:54.260 --> 00:45:00.030
in our churches. Whether it's in our workplace. It's happening people.
710
00:45:00.659 --> 00:45:03.380
And I thought it was funny because here I was
711
00:45:03.460 --> 00:45:09.239
talking about a star whom I had no relation with.
712
00:45:09.280 --> 00:45:12.199
And I was like, Tiffany, you know, you know better.
713
00:45:12.719 --> 00:45:15.500
And it's something that I don't even do. And if
714
00:45:15.559 --> 00:45:20.750
it's something about you personally, you really need to pause
715
00:45:21.289 --> 00:45:24.530
before responding, especially on social media.
716
00:45:25.190 --> 00:45:25.449
Yeah.
717
00:45:25.789 --> 00:45:26.030
Yeah.
718
00:45:26.250 --> 00:45:26.550
And then.
719
00:45:27.199 --> 00:45:29.059
We're all not perfect.
720
00:45:29.199 --> 00:45:34.070
So I do allow myself, you know, less than 12%
721
00:45:34.070 --> 00:45:36.889
of the time. I'd say 8% of the time, you know,
722
00:45:37.309 --> 00:45:42.670
I'll let myself do something meaningless or talk about something meaningless.
723
00:45:43.070 --> 00:45:45.530
But as long as you're aware of what you're doing,
724
00:45:45.550 --> 00:45:47.650
I think, and it's not a habit.
725
00:45:48.230 --> 00:45:52.250
If it's, you know, the rare occasion everybody's talking about
726
00:45:52.289 --> 00:45:54.980
and everybody's got to wait. But I do really, it's like,
727
00:45:55.079 --> 00:45:58.440
do I want to use my time, which is not
728
00:45:58.500 --> 00:46:03.949
like money. Money you can make, lose, spend, earn. Time,
729
00:46:04.269 --> 00:46:08.010
once you spend it, it's gone. There's no do-over. There's
730
00:46:08.110 --> 00:46:12.510
no redo. There's no singular. There's no Shirley MacLaine. Once
731
00:46:12.650 --> 00:46:16.519
time is done, it's done. So do I want to
732
00:46:16.599 --> 00:46:20.780
spend this time talking about someone.
733
00:46:20.679 --> 00:46:23.820
That I have no relationship with? And really, does it
734
00:46:23.860 --> 00:46:27.659
matter what I think about them anyways? And who cares?
735
00:46:28.119 --> 00:46:31.719
So I have an automatic button that I push when
736
00:46:31.780 --> 00:46:36.010
I realize that my mind or my mouth is wandering
737
00:46:36.570 --> 00:46:39.789
into areas that are like such a waste of time.
738
00:46:41.710 --> 00:46:47.050
And if it's something about you yourself, anger is understandable.
739
00:46:47.510 --> 00:46:51.199
But anger is not always the best response in that moment.
740
00:46:51.449 --> 00:46:54.400
Because trust me, me, the lioness, is always ready to
741
00:46:54.679 --> 00:46:58.840
break out the claws and pounce. And I'm very direct.
742
00:46:58.900 --> 00:47:02.239
If I'm upset with you, you're going to know it.
743
00:47:05.460 --> 00:47:07.360
I'm not going to talk about you behind your back.
744
00:47:07.380 --> 00:47:10.480
I'm going to talk about you to your face. Thank
745
00:47:10.500 --> 00:47:15.650
God that hasn't happened yet. And so you won't have
746
00:47:15.690 --> 00:47:18.190
to worry about a rumor from me. Yeah.
747
00:47:18.329 --> 00:47:20.289
And so.
748
00:47:21.159 --> 00:47:24.739
I think it's important to address it to the person
749
00:47:24.800 --> 00:47:28.579
and say, I heard a statement that was made about
750
00:47:28.760 --> 00:47:33.780
me and I understand X, Y, and Z. And that
751
00:47:33.909 --> 00:47:38.869
way is from A to B and not from A
752
00:47:38.909 --> 00:47:42.469
to Z all around the world. And it'll get distorted
753
00:47:42.510 --> 00:47:45.329
and keep going and keep going and keep going. And
754
00:47:45.349 --> 00:47:47.130
that way it's kind of nipped in the bud. What
755
00:47:47.150 --> 00:47:47.730
do you say, Dr.
756
00:47:47.750 --> 00:47:47.949
Marissa?
757
00:47:48.679 --> 00:47:54.239
Well, this is where we differ. I am direct.
758
00:47:54.340 --> 00:47:59.829
People will always remind me of that. At the same time,
759
00:48:00.230 --> 00:48:02.090
it's when to hold and when to fold. And if
760
00:48:02.250 --> 00:48:04.829
I find out that someone's been talking behind my back,
761
00:48:05.449 --> 00:48:09.010
I say, I'm going to love you from afar. To me,
762
00:48:09.150 --> 00:48:12.090
going up to that person and confronting them with something
763
00:48:12.159 --> 00:48:16.449
that they said is a waste of my time. I
764
00:48:16.530 --> 00:48:20.090
just give them a wide berth and realize that's who
765
00:48:20.130 --> 00:48:22.730
they are. And I don't want to have anything to
766
00:48:22.769 --> 00:48:27.900
do with them. And, you know, this is why the
767
00:48:27.940 --> 00:48:29.320
show is called Take My Advice.
768
00:48:29.420 --> 00:48:33.639
I'm not using it because I will coach you to nip.
769
00:48:33.500 --> 00:48:36.679
Things in the bud or clear things up. But for me,
770
00:48:36.940 --> 00:48:39.480
it's not a waste of my time. It is a
771
00:48:39.539 --> 00:48:43.139
waste of my time because I find that people don't change.
772
00:48:43.280 --> 00:48:46.119
And if I go and give a person the satisfaction
773
00:48:46.489 --> 00:48:49.789
that I know that they've been talking negatively about me,
774
00:48:50.230 --> 00:48:55.449
then I'm giving them the confirmation that they have rent-free
775
00:48:55.909 --> 00:48:58.369
room in my life. And I don't want to give
776
00:48:58.409 --> 00:49:02.320
that to them. So call it selfish. Call it self-defense.
777
00:49:02.480 --> 00:49:05.920
Call it whatever you like. I know that this is where.
778
00:49:06.139 --> 00:49:07.000
You know, Dr.
779
00:49:07.059 --> 00:49:11.739
Tiffany rolls her eyeballs because I don't give certain relationships
780
00:49:11.820 --> 00:49:15.829
very much time or grace. And that's because there's 8
781
00:49:15.829 --> 00:49:18.829
billion people for me to have an easier time with.
782
00:49:18.969 --> 00:49:21.860
If I'm having a difficult time with someone right off
783
00:49:21.920 --> 00:49:24.719
the bat, why do I keep going to the tractor
784
00:49:24.739 --> 00:49:25.260
for milk?
785
00:49:25.579 --> 00:49:27.320
I'm going to go where the love is.
786
00:49:27.760 --> 00:49:31.000
So this is where, you know, we, we agree to disagree,
787
00:49:31.519 --> 00:49:34.239
although she does, you know, roll her eyeballs at me.
788
00:49:34.659 --> 00:49:37.849
But I definitely....
789
00:49:37.769 --> 00:49:46.119
I have yet to see a different outcome where it's
790
00:49:46.199 --> 00:49:46.610
worth it.
791
00:49:48.159 --> 00:49:53.760
Okay. So, yes. I believe in salvaging relationships, making them functional.
792
00:49:54.619 --> 00:49:57.480
You can choose the Dr. Marissa way or the Dr.
793
00:49:57.519 --> 00:50:02.000
Tiffany way. No answer is incorrect, people. And you can
794
00:50:02.039 --> 00:50:05.579
also choose your own way. But I would... challenge you
795
00:50:05.900 --> 00:50:10.130
because perhaps you are the rumor mill. And if that
796
00:50:10.230 --> 00:50:13.670
is not, but I'm not, now I'm not saying you,
797
00:50:13.849 --> 00:50:18.869
I'm talking to the listeners. I'm talking to our listeners. Um,
798
00:50:19.210 --> 00:50:21.550
and I want to challenge you to be on the
799
00:50:21.590 --> 00:50:23.989
road to recovery. And I want to give you a
800
00:50:23.989 --> 00:50:26.969
mnemonic called think. Cause I remember I told you I'm
801
00:50:26.989 --> 00:50:31.090
the big brain. And so before repeating a story, I
802
00:50:31.139 --> 00:50:33.679
want you to think T H I N K. And
803
00:50:33.699 --> 00:50:36.670
so this is what think means, and I wrote it down. T,
804
00:50:36.869 --> 00:50:41.170
it stands for true. Ask yourself, do I have reliable
805
00:50:41.329 --> 00:50:48.550
evidence that this information is accurate? H, helpful. Will sharing
806
00:50:48.690 --> 00:50:56.260
this genuinely help someone or solve a problem? I, important.
807
00:50:57.380 --> 00:51:01.760
Does the person receiving this information need to know it?
808
00:51:03.139 --> 00:51:09.500
And necessary, is sharing it appropriate or am I simply
809
00:51:09.579 --> 00:51:16.710
satisfying curiosity? And K, kind. Can I communicate this respectfully
810
00:51:16.809 --> 00:51:18.190
without humiliating someone?
811
00:51:19.789 --> 00:51:20.869
Great. Great.
812
00:51:21.710 --> 00:51:26.079
It triggered a memory. Dr. David Simon co-authored.
813
00:51:27.269 --> 00:51:31.750
Founder of the Chopra Center in San Diego, Deepak Chopra.
814
00:51:31.969 --> 00:51:33.469
I know he's in a little bit of hot water,
815
00:51:33.929 --> 00:51:39.469
but his work formerly and with Dr. David Simon, he
816
00:51:39.510 --> 00:51:42.889
had a living memorial. So before he died, he was
817
00:51:42.929 --> 00:51:46.030
a neurologist. He died of a brain tumor, kind of ironic.
818
00:51:46.530 --> 00:51:50.000
And before he died, he had like a celebration of life.
819
00:51:50.619 --> 00:51:55.139
And he left us with this legacy to, before you
820
00:51:55.239 --> 00:51:58.059
open your mouth, And it's just like think except shorter
821
00:51:58.179 --> 00:52:01.119
for me, which.
822
00:52:00.699 --> 00:52:07.289
Is ask yourself three questions. Is it kind? Is it true?
823
00:52:08.730 --> 00:52:14.849
And is it necessary? Is it kind? Is it true?
824
00:52:15.530 --> 00:52:21.239
Is it necessary? What do you think about that? You're
825
00:52:21.280 --> 00:52:22.679
not listening. I agree.
826
00:52:22.780 --> 00:52:24.619
I agree. No, no. Is it kind? Is it true?
827
00:52:24.639 --> 00:52:25.420
Is it necessary?
828
00:52:25.539 --> 00:52:25.940
I heard you.
829
00:52:26.380 --> 00:52:30.429
So those are the three questions that if you say
830
00:52:30.550 --> 00:52:34.130
yes to all three of them, then you can open
831
00:52:34.150 --> 00:52:37.110
your mouth and say it. But most of the time, rumors,
832
00:52:37.389 --> 00:52:40.949
they're not kind. Most of the time, rumors are not true.
833
00:52:41.789 --> 00:52:45.789
And definitely 100% of the time, it's not necessary. So
834
00:52:45.949 --> 00:52:47.849
that's the rules that I live by.
835
00:52:47.869 --> 00:52:49.800
And I'm so glad that you brought up think because
836
00:52:50.110 --> 00:52:51.679
I'd forgotten about those rules.
837
00:52:52.090 --> 00:52:55.909
Because it takes some work to not open your mouth
838
00:52:55.989 --> 00:52:57.510
and say something until you've.
839
00:52:57.349 --> 00:53:01.159
Asked yourself those three questions. Is it kind? Is it true?
840
00:53:01.599 --> 00:53:02.599
And is it necessary?
841
00:53:04.880 --> 00:53:07.860
And so they just need to think. And I think
842
00:53:07.920 --> 00:53:10.559
a lot of times people don't want to think. They
843
00:53:10.579 --> 00:53:11.179
just want to talk.
844
00:53:12.730 --> 00:53:14.710
Or read. What are you reading?
845
00:53:14.730 --> 00:53:19.030
I was typing it in the... Oh.
846
00:53:19.050 --> 00:53:21.289
You're typing. Yes. Okay, okay, okay.
847
00:53:21.800 --> 00:53:27.670
So if you I don't know, I think if you're
848
00:53:28.289 --> 00:53:31.329
let's do a stepwise, if you know you're someone who
849
00:53:31.670 --> 00:53:34.030
spreads rumors, then, you know.
850
00:53:34.690 --> 00:53:39.239
Do as I call it. It's the shaping psychological thing,
851
00:53:39.280 --> 00:53:43.369
which is. move like, like a little bit less.
852
00:53:43.409 --> 00:53:47.409
So if you, if you spread rumors eight hours a day,
853
00:53:47.650 --> 00:53:50.860
go to seven hours, go to six hours and see
854
00:53:50.900 --> 00:53:52.820
if you can limit it to one hour a day.
855
00:53:53.159 --> 00:53:58.880
And then you're still above the average, which is 52 minutes. So, um, but, but,
856
00:53:58.960 --> 00:54:01.559
you know, just, just a little bit less at a time.
857
00:54:01.699 --> 00:54:05.659
And then you'll, you'll have so much time. You'll gain time.
858
00:54:05.699 --> 00:54:07.619
People always say, I don't have enough time. I don't
859
00:54:07.639 --> 00:54:08.280
have enough time.
860
00:54:08.639 --> 00:54:12.059
Well, if you stop doing rumors, you'll probably get like
861
00:54:12.139 --> 00:54:13.960
at least five hours a day.
862
00:54:14.039 --> 00:54:17.320
Where you can be doing something else. How's that for
863
00:54:17.340 --> 00:54:17.940
a commercial?
864
00:54:18.719 --> 00:54:21.280
I think that's wonderful. I think just the next time
865
00:54:21.360 --> 00:54:28.780
somebody approaches you with, have you heard what happened? Take
866
00:54:28.840 --> 00:54:33.519
a moment before you accept the story. You ask them.
867
00:54:34.980 --> 00:54:35.739
Is it true?
868
00:54:37.110 --> 00:54:43.349
Challenge them and see what their response is. Because that
869
00:54:43.409 --> 00:54:49.909
puts them in the seat to justify it. And then
870
00:54:50.409 --> 00:54:54.639
they need to decide whether or not they want to
871
00:54:54.679 --> 00:55:00.780
share it. And before you repeat it, ask yourself, Is
872
00:55:00.840 --> 00:55:04.590
it necessary for me to repeat it? Because it puts
873
00:55:04.619 --> 00:55:05.889
the onus on you.
874
00:55:07.170 --> 00:55:08.130
Yeah. Yeah.
875
00:55:08.829 --> 00:55:09.449
Absolutely.
876
00:55:12.070 --> 00:55:14.889
Now, if you have a girlfriend and they're like, I
877
00:55:14.929 --> 00:55:17.050
just have to get this off my chest.
878
00:55:17.630 --> 00:55:20.780
You know, let them get it off their chest. I mean,
879
00:55:20.980 --> 00:55:24.010
they'll feel better. But you don't have to spread it.
880
00:55:24.820 --> 00:55:27.300
You know, you don't have to then pass it on
881
00:55:27.460 --> 00:55:31.219
and say, oh, my God. you're not going to believe
882
00:55:31.820 --> 00:55:35.300
what so-and-so said to me. And you didn't hear it
883
00:55:35.360 --> 00:55:38.360
from me because when I do work as an organizational
884
00:55:38.400 --> 00:55:45.099
psychologist in businesses and they asked how to improve the communication.
885
00:55:44.219 --> 00:55:47.880
That's going on, I'm like, start a rumor. The rumor
886
00:55:47.920 --> 00:55:55.250
mill is the best way to communicate anything you want.
887
00:55:55.690 --> 00:55:58.210
And just start it with, you didn't hear this from me,
888
00:55:58.789 --> 00:56:01.380
or don't tell anyone I said this.
889
00:56:01.619 --> 00:56:05.019
And I promise that's going to be better than a memo.
890
00:56:05.199 --> 00:56:07.800
It's better than an email. It's better than a town
891
00:56:07.840 --> 00:56:11.769
hall meeting. You will get that, whatever information it is,
892
00:56:12.230 --> 00:56:13.929
down the line. How's that?
893
00:56:14.489 --> 00:56:18.090
I think it's fabulous. I remember growing up, I used
894
00:56:18.110 --> 00:56:19.929
to watch the show In Living Color. I don't know
895
00:56:19.989 --> 00:56:22.449
if you used to watch that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
896
00:56:22.769 --> 00:56:25.409
And so they had the skit where the woman used
897
00:56:25.429 --> 00:56:29.260
to sit out by her apartment. She would say, you
898
00:56:29.300 --> 00:56:32.000
didn't hear it from me, but, and she would spill
899
00:56:32.719 --> 00:56:38.039
everybody's business. And so it was hilarious. You don't want
900
00:56:38.059 --> 00:56:38.889
to be that woman.
901
00:56:40.329 --> 00:56:41.869
No, absolutely not.
902
00:56:42.900 --> 00:56:47.940
I think it's important to understand that no matter what
903
00:56:48.000 --> 00:56:51.039
we say, people are going to people all over the place.
904
00:56:52.460 --> 00:56:52.639
Yeah.
905
00:56:52.699 --> 00:56:57.179
People are going to be people. Yeah. And people are
906
00:56:57.489 --> 00:57:00.630
still going to talk. And we're still going to confide
907
00:57:00.690 --> 00:57:04.050
in one another. And we're not telling you to not talk.
908
00:57:04.690 --> 00:57:08.769
And so when you confide in one another, let it
909
00:57:09.030 --> 00:57:12.659
end with you. Yeah. You don't have to continue to
910
00:57:12.699 --> 00:57:16.559
spread it. So if I go to Dr. Marissa and say, Dr. Marissa,
911
00:57:16.579 --> 00:57:19.059
I need to tell you about my day and I
912
00:57:19.079 --> 00:57:21.539
need to people all over you and I need to
913
00:57:21.599 --> 00:57:26.199
do my verbal vomit all over you. Hey, hey, you
914
00:57:26.239 --> 00:57:26.949
just take it.
915
00:57:28.619 --> 00:57:31.320
Don't get it all over my outfit, please.
916
00:57:31.599 --> 00:57:35.659
And I need to spew all over you. And I
917
00:57:35.699 --> 00:57:41.300
confide in her. And I expect Dr. Marissa to take
918
00:57:41.400 --> 00:57:44.090
it and not go spread it all over.
919
00:57:44.110 --> 00:57:45.719
I'm going to call mom tea.
920
00:57:45.739 --> 00:57:50.809
I'm going to call your kids. No, absolutely not. So
921
00:57:51.369 --> 00:57:53.869
I expect her to be a lockbox. Now, the good
922
00:57:53.929 --> 00:57:58.690
news is that most doctors are lockboxes, but most non-doctors
923
00:57:58.730 --> 00:58:02.230
are not. And so they put your business all in
924
00:58:02.250 --> 00:58:07.260
the street. And so I think it's important to... To
925
00:58:07.460 --> 00:58:09.960
be a lockbox if someone asks you to.
926
00:58:10.539 --> 00:58:15.639
Yeah. And that is your final word.
927
00:58:15.659 --> 00:58:16.820
That is my final word.
928
00:58:16.940 --> 00:58:17.239
Yes, yes.
929
00:58:17.280 --> 00:58:18.800
So Dr. Mercer can have a final word. That is
930
00:58:18.820 --> 00:58:19.389
my final word.
931
00:58:19.969 --> 00:58:23.170
Usually she's the one watching the time. It's me today.
932
00:58:23.630 --> 00:58:27.030
But we're so glad that you could join us. My
933
00:58:27.110 --> 00:58:28.409
final word is, is it kind?
934
00:58:28.469 --> 00:58:30.949
Is it true? Is it necessary? If not, keep your
935
00:58:31.030 --> 00:58:34.619
front door shut. Thanks so much for joining.
936
00:58:34.320 --> 00:58:38.369
Us today on Take My Advice, I'm Not Using It,
937
00:58:38.400 --> 00:58:41.920
Get Balanced with Dr. Marissa, the morning show on our
938
00:58:42.119 --> 00:58:47.179
very fabulous series called Doctors in the House with myself
939
00:58:47.639 --> 00:58:49.139
and Dr.
940
00:58:49.260 --> 00:58:49.960
Tiffany Tate.
941
00:58:50.039 --> 00:58:54.219
It's all about balance, peace in, peace out, world peace
942
00:58:54.340 --> 00:58:55.960
through inner peace. Dr.
943
00:58:55.980 --> 00:58:56.980
Tiffany, take us out.
944
00:58:57.780 --> 00:59:02.429
Now go and have the best day ever.
945
00:59:03.349 --> 00:59:04.170
I'll see you tomorrow.
946
00:59:10.059 --> 00:59:13.199
Hi, I'm Catherine McPhee. Animals have always had my heart,
947
00:59:13.400 --> 00:59:15.659
and that is why I'm a proud supporter of American
948
00:59:15.699 --> 00:59:18.690
Humane Society. Over the years, I have filled my home
949
00:59:18.769 --> 00:59:21.909
with rescue pets. I adopted my sweet Wilma as a
950
00:59:21.949 --> 00:59:25.010
senior dog. Some of my most cherished memories are with her.
951
00:59:25.789 --> 00:59:30.130
American Humane Society has been protecting animals for 150 years.
952
00:59:30.809 --> 00:59:32.650
Your support can save lives.
953
00:59:33.050 --> 00:59:35.869
Join us in helping animals in need at AmericanHumane.org.
954
00:59:39.139 --> 00:59:42.969
NBC News on KCAA Loma Linda is sponsored by Teamsters
955
00:59:43.010 --> 00:59:43.809
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00:59:43.809 --> 00:59:50.650
Protecting the future of working families, Teamsters1932. org.
957
00:59:54.130 --> 00:59:54.659
E-digits.
958
00:59:55.139 --> 00:59:58.880
Lock them in for more information, recreation, and guaranteed fun.
959
00:59:59.360 --> 01:00:00.320
KCAA 1050 AM.
960
01:00:00.340 --> 01:00:00.739
E-digits.
961
01:00:08.949 --> 01:00:11.900
You're listening to the Teheebo Tea Club radio show hosted
962
01:00:11.940 --> 01:00:13.329
by Milan Vukovic.