WEBVTT
1
00:00:00.320 --> 00:00:03.720
In this episode of EFT Tapping Junction, you're going to
2
00:00:03.799 --> 00:00:09.119
learn how to incorporate a method called emotionally focused therapy
3
00:00:09.679 --> 00:00:15.039
with emotional freedom techniques so you can identify and clear
4
00:00:15.599 --> 00:00:27.199
the real emotion below the presenting emotion for true emotional freedom.
5
00:00:27.399 --> 00:00:31.519
Steven Carter, your host for EFT Tapping Junction, I do
6
00:00:31.679 --> 00:00:34.920
thank you for joining me my way of brief introduction.
7
00:00:35.159 --> 00:00:38.799
For more than four decades, I've been helping thousands of
8
00:00:39.039 --> 00:00:44.479
clients create happier, healthier, more productive lives. I've earned multiple
9
00:00:44.719 --> 00:00:50.960
trainer and practitioner certifications in an array of methods to include,
10
00:00:51.079 --> 00:00:58.399
of course, emotional freedom techniques, thought field therapy, neuro linguistic programming, hypnosis,
11
00:00:58.439 --> 00:01:02.240
and an array of other methods. You'll find more information
12
00:01:02.439 --> 00:01:06.200
about my background and certifications, and you can listen to
13
00:01:06.400 --> 00:01:11.159
previous episodes of this show, along with other podcasts focused
14
00:01:11.280 --> 00:01:16.879
on creating health, happiness, and a more productive life by
15
00:01:17.040 --> 00:01:22.359
visiting us at Stress Reliefradio dot com. I was in
16
00:01:22.439 --> 00:01:28.319
conversation with a client who also uses EFT or self care.
17
00:01:29.000 --> 00:01:32.920
The client told me that she had seen an advertisement
18
00:01:33.159 --> 00:01:39.560
for an EFT training, but the EFT was emotionally focused
19
00:01:40.000 --> 00:01:45.760
therapy emotionally focused therapy. She asked, how does that differ
20
00:01:45.920 --> 00:01:50.840
from emotional freedom techniques and can they be used together?
21
00:01:51.640 --> 00:01:56.079
The short answer to the second question that meaning can
22
00:01:56.120 --> 00:02:02.840
they be used together is es. But let's look at
23
00:02:02.879 --> 00:02:07.599
exactly what emotionally focused therapy is, how and when you
24
00:02:07.680 --> 00:02:12.520
can combine it with emotional freedom techniques, and when you
25
00:02:12.599 --> 00:02:17.960
should not use emotionally focused therapy at all. So what
26
00:02:18.280 --> 00:02:22.960
is emotionally focused therapy and how is it used in
27
00:02:23.080 --> 00:02:29.560
a therapeutic session. Emotionally focused therapy, also known as EFT as,
28
00:02:29.599 --> 00:02:35.319
of course, is emotional freedom techniques. Emotionally focused therapy is
29
00:02:35.439 --> 00:02:40.280
a structured, evidence based form of psychotherapy that helps people
30
00:02:40.560 --> 00:02:47.879
understand and reshape emotional responses and relationship patterns. It was
31
00:02:48.080 --> 00:02:53.039
originally developed in the nineteen eighties by psychologists Sue Johnson
32
00:02:53.719 --> 00:02:57.840
and the gentleman named Les Greenberg. This approach is based
33
00:02:57.879 --> 00:03:02.360
on the idea that emotions are deeply connected to human
34
00:03:02.599 --> 00:03:09.439
attachment needs, the need to feel safe, loved, accepted, and
35
00:03:09.599 --> 00:03:16.000
emotionally connected to others issues, most commonly for couple's therapy,
36
00:03:16.599 --> 00:03:24.719
marriage counseling, family therapy, and individual therapy for anxiety, depression, trauma,
37
00:03:25.120 --> 00:03:32.080
and relationship issues. Emotionally focused therapy views emotional distress not
38
00:03:32.240 --> 00:03:36.240
as a sign that someone has broken, but is experiencing
39
00:03:36.280 --> 00:03:42.240
their difficulties as a result of unmet attachment needs, painful
40
00:03:42.319 --> 00:03:49.439
emotional experiences, or negative interaction cycles between people. Taking as
41
00:03:49.479 --> 00:03:55.199
an example, a couple's interactions, one partner may criticize because
42
00:03:55.240 --> 00:04:00.280
they feel emotionally abandoned. The other may withdraw because as
43
00:04:00.360 --> 00:04:06.800
the fear, conflict, or rejection. Emotionally focused therapy helps uncover
44
00:04:06.919 --> 00:04:12.879
the deeper emotions beneath these reactions. As an example, if
45
00:04:12.879 --> 00:04:17.439
someone says you never listen to me, the deeper emotion,
46
00:04:17.639 --> 00:04:21.839
the deeper feeling could be I'm afraid I don't matter
47
00:04:21.959 --> 00:04:28.279
to you. This therapy approach helps identify negative emotional cycles.
48
00:04:28.800 --> 00:04:34.959
It helps clients recognize those recurring patterns that occur, such
49
00:04:35.000 --> 00:04:44.439
as pursue, withdraw, criticize, defend, anger, shut down. The goal
50
00:04:44.720 --> 00:04:48.879
is to see the cycle as the problem, not the person.
51
00:04:50.079 --> 00:04:59.319
Presenting emotions could be anger, frustration, numbness, defensiveness. Underlying emotions
52
00:04:59.439 --> 00:05:07.560
could be fear, loneliness, shame, sadness, be longing for connection.
53
00:05:08.839 --> 00:05:12.959
Clients are guided to express vulnerability emotions in a safe
54
00:05:13.079 --> 00:05:18.040
environment as an example, they may say, I feel scared
55
00:05:18.160 --> 00:05:23.079
when I think I'm losing you, or I need reassurance
56
00:05:23.560 --> 00:05:29.079
that I matter. I need reassurance that I matter. This
57
00:05:29.240 --> 00:05:36.600
therapy approach is designed to help clients feel emotionally safe, understood, connected,
58
00:05:36.680 --> 00:05:42.720
and supported. These are the building blocks for a secure attachment.
59
00:05:43.680 --> 00:05:49.920
How does this happen? The therapist will observe interaction patterns.
60
00:05:50.759 --> 00:05:56.920
The therapist will slow down emotional conversations. They'll ask questions
61
00:05:57.120 --> 00:06:02.920
about feelings and fears. They'll help clients express emotions clearly,
62
00:06:03.600 --> 00:06:10.720
and they'll guide healthier emotional responses. Sessions are usually active.
63
00:06:11.399 --> 00:06:18.319
They're emotionally engaging rather than purely analytical. In simple terms,
64
00:06:18.480 --> 00:06:23.959
emotionally focused therapy helps people understand what they are truly feeling,
65
00:06:24.600 --> 00:06:32.319
recognize unhealthy emotional patterns, communicate more honestly, and build stronger
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emotional connections with others. It's well known for helping couples
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rebuild trust after emotional injuries. How does emotionally focused therapy
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differ from emotional freedom techniques? At its core, emotionally focused
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therapy is talk therapy based on attachment theory, and as
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we know, emotional freedom technique involves tapping on acupuncture points
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to eliminate energy blockages in the energy system, and with
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that change, we enjoy full emotional freedom. If you are
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not a licensed therapist who has specifically been trained in
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couple's therapy or family therapy, this is not an area
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that you should actively work in. Gary Craig, the creator
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of EFT or Emotional Freedom Techniques, shared an admonition with
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us that says, don't go where you don't belong, and
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that is especially true with couples therapy or family therapy.
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Does this mean that we can't use some of the
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methods from emotionally focused therapy to help us with EFT sessions.
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Absolutely not. We can apply some of the principles underlying
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emotionally focused therapy to help us identify the true emotions
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underneath of the presenting emotions, so we can tap on
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those underlying emotions, which often allows us to release the
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entire chain of disempowering emotions, disempowering beliefs, and problematic behaviors.
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Emotionally focused therapy often works with emotionally painful relationship experiences
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such as betrayal, abandonment, emotional neglect, humiliation, rejection, childhood attachment wounds,
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or other relationship issues. These experiences frequently carry enormous emotional intensity.
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Clients can sometimes become too activated to process these feelings
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effectively through conversation alone. This is where tapping can become
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a stabilizing bridge. Imagine a client is recalling a major
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moment when a parent emotionally abandoned them, a spouse betrayed them,
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or they felt profoundly rejected. The practitioner might pause and
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gently say, what do you notice in your body right now?
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The client may respond, my chest feels tight, my stomach
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is twisting, I feel panic. The practitioner guides the client
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through the tapping sequence, which allows the client to stay
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connected to that experience without avoiding it, staying with it safely.
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For example, even though part of me still feels abandoned
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in this memory, I'm here with these feelings right now
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and I'm safe in this moment. Or even though this
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hurt still feels overwhelming, I know my body is trying
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to protect me. I choose to know I am safe
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in this moment and these emotions are being processed through.
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This can help reduce emotional flooding while still honoring the
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attachment wound that is underneath one thing both approaches recognize,
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though they use different language, is that emotional safety changes everything.
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When people feel emotionally safe, they become more open, they
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allow more vulnerability, they're more connected, and they're more capable
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of change. Contrasts that when people feel unsafe, they are
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more defensive. Protective strategies merge, and true authentic connection becomes
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difficult or perhaps impossible. Tapping can help shift the nervous
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system out of defensive survival states, and that can create
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more space for emotionally focused work to continue. This is
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especially important for trauma survivors. Many trauma survivors desperately want connection,
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but their nervous systems associate vulnerability with danger, so when
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emotional closeness begins to increase, fear may also increase as well.
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Tapping can help clients remain regulated enough to tolerate intimacy, vulnerability,
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and emotional closeness without becoming overwhelmed, and that can result
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in tremendous healing. Another valuable way to use tapping is
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to encourage the client to tap between therapy sessions. Many
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relationship conflicts escalate before people have time to think clearly.
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Tapping can become a self regulation tool before emotions escalate.
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Before discussing something emotionally sensitive, a person could tap on
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a fear of rejection, a fear of conflict, fear of abandonment,
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or have anger activation possible set up statements Even though
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I'm afraid this conversation will end badly, I choose to
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stay emotionally open, or even though I feel defensive or ready,
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I choose to listen without shutting down and of preparation
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may help interrupt destructive cycles before they intensify. Knowing secondary
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responses are typically protective responses, and with gentle questioning, patience, kindness,
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as you're working with clients, you can truly be a
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blessing for them. What if you're working for your own issues?
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If anger emerges, yes, honor that feeling and even tap
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on that sense of anger, But then ask the deeper question,
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what is underneath of this anger? Could this be a
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protective emotion? And if so, what's beneath it? What am
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I truly truly afraid of? Go quiet and allow your
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subconscious to offer insight. One of the best ways to
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work with yourself is through journaling. Identify times where you
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experience strong emotion that, in all likelihood is a secondary
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emotion and emotion of protection. Allow yourself to journal on
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the question, what is the true emotion here that is
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creating this feeling? What is our takeaway here? Whether you're
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licensed therapist working with couples, families, or you're working with
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00:14:31.799 --> 00:14:37.960
individual clients, or you are a coach helping clients achieve
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00:14:38.399 --> 00:14:42.840
the goals of their choosing, I encourage you to use
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EFT to go as deep as you can into what
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is truly truly at the core of emotional challenges, or,
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in the case of a coach, what is the disempowering
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underneath of the presenting belief that is stopping the client
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from achieving his or her desired outcomes. Be thorough, go deep.
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Always check your work, Always check your work. Take what
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you believe is relevant from methods such as emotionally focused therapy,
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and incorporate what is relevant for you what you find
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valuable into your EFT or emotional freedom techniques work. I
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00:15:36.559 --> 00:15:41.039
do hope that you are following EFT tapping junction where
158
00:15:41.080 --> 00:15:45.360
you get your podcasts. If not, well, I do encourage
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00:15:45.399 --> 00:15:48.120
you to do that. When you follow, you will never
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00:15:48.159 --> 00:15:51.720
miss an episode. If you have a friend or family
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00:15:51.799 --> 00:15:57.279
member who is interested in emotional freedom techniques. Why not
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00:15:57.399 --> 00:16:02.799
share this episode and then have conversations with the individual
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00:16:03.120 --> 00:16:08.600
or individuals about what they felt was valuable for them.
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00:16:09.240 --> 00:16:13.080
Do check us out and listen to previous episodes of
165
00:16:13.159 --> 00:16:17.440
this show, and you can listen to other shows focused
166
00:16:17.559 --> 00:16:23.120
on creating healthier, happier, more productive lives. You'll find all
167
00:16:23.240 --> 00:16:29.159
that goodness at Stress reliefradio dot com. If you would
168
00:16:29.200 --> 00:16:33.519
like to be in touch, email me at cartermethodatgmail dot
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00:16:33.559 --> 00:16:38.279
com until our next visit together. I am your host,
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00:16:38.360 --> 00:16:43.039
Stephen Carter, thanking you for joining me, and I wish
171
00:16:43.120 --> 00:16:47.759
for you and your loved ones blessings in abundance.
1
00:00:00.320 --> 00:00:03.720
In this episode of EFT Tapping Junction, you're going to
2
00:00:03.799 --> 00:00:09.119
learn how to incorporate a method called emotionally focused therapy
3
00:00:09.679 --> 00:00:15.039
with emotional freedom techniques so you can identify and clear
4
00:00:15.599 --> 00:00:27.199
the real emotion below the presenting emotion for true emotional freedom.
5
00:00:27.399 --> 00:00:31.519
Steven Carter, your host for EFT Tapping Junction, I do
6
00:00:31.679 --> 00:00:34.920
thank you for joining me my way of brief introduction.
7
00:00:35.159 --> 00:00:38.799
For more than four decades, I've been helping thousands of
8
00:00:39.039 --> 00:00:44.479
clients create happier, healthier, more productive lives. I've earned multiple
9
00:00:44.719 --> 00:00:50.960
trainer and practitioner certifications in an array of methods to include,
10
00:00:51.079 --> 00:00:58.399
of course, emotional freedom techniques, thought field therapy, neuro linguistic programming, hypnosis,
11
00:00:58.439 --> 00:01:02.240
and an array of other methods. You'll find more information
12
00:01:02.439 --> 00:01:06.200
about my background and certifications, and you can listen to
13
00:01:06.400 --> 00:01:11.159
previous episodes of this show, along with other podcasts focused
14
00:01:11.280 --> 00:01:16.879
on creating health, happiness, and a more productive life by
15
00:01:17.040 --> 00:01:22.359
visiting us at Stress Reliefradio dot com. I was in
16
00:01:22.439 --> 00:01:28.319
conversation with a client who also uses EFT or self care.
17
00:01:29.000 --> 00:01:32.920
The client told me that she had seen an advertisement
18
00:01:33.159 --> 00:01:39.560
for an EFT training, but the EFT was emotionally focused
19
00:01:40.000 --> 00:01:45.760
therapy emotionally focused therapy. She asked, how does that differ
20
00:01:45.920 --> 00:01:50.840
from emotional freedom techniques and can they be used together?
21
00:01:51.640 --> 00:01:56.079
The short answer to the second question that meaning can
22
00:01:56.120 --> 00:02:02.840
they be used together is es. But let's look at
23
00:02:02.879 --> 00:02:07.599
exactly what emotionally focused therapy is, how and when you
24
00:02:07.680 --> 00:02:12.520
can combine it with emotional freedom techniques, and when you
25
00:02:12.599 --> 00:02:17.960
should not use emotionally focused therapy at all. So what
26
00:02:18.280 --> 00:02:22.960
is emotionally focused therapy and how is it used in
27
00:02:23.080 --> 00:02:29.560
a therapeutic session. Emotionally focused therapy, also known as EFT as,
28
00:02:29.599 --> 00:02:35.319
of course, is emotional freedom techniques. Emotionally focused therapy is
29
00:02:35.439 --> 00:02:40.280
a structured, evidence based form of psychotherapy that helps people
30
00:02:40.560 --> 00:02:47.879
understand and reshape emotional responses and relationship patterns. It was
31
00:02:48.080 --> 00:02:53.039
originally developed in the nineteen eighties by psychologists Sue Johnson
32
00:02:53.719 --> 00:02:57.840
and the gentleman named Les Greenberg. This approach is based
33
00:02:57.879 --> 00:03:02.360
on the idea that emotions are deeply connected to human
34
00:03:02.599 --> 00:03:09.439
attachment needs, the need to feel safe, loved, accepted, and
35
00:03:09.599 --> 00:03:16.000
emotionally connected to others issues, most commonly for couple's therapy,
36
00:03:16.599 --> 00:03:24.719
marriage counseling, family therapy, and individual therapy for anxiety, depression, trauma,
37
00:03:25.120 --> 00:03:32.080
and relationship issues. Emotionally focused therapy views emotional distress not
38
00:03:32.240 --> 00:03:36.240
as a sign that someone has broken, but is experiencing
39
00:03:36.280 --> 00:03:42.240
their difficulties as a result of unmet attachment needs, painful
40
00:03:42.319 --> 00:03:49.439
emotional experiences, or negative interaction cycles between people. Taking as
41
00:03:49.479 --> 00:03:55.199
an example, a couple's interactions, one partner may criticize because
42
00:03:55.240 --> 00:04:00.280
they feel emotionally abandoned. The other may withdraw because as
43
00:04:00.360 --> 00:04:06.800
the fear, conflict, or rejection. Emotionally focused therapy helps uncover
44
00:04:06.919 --> 00:04:12.879
the deeper emotions beneath these reactions. As an example, if
45
00:04:12.879 --> 00:04:17.439
someone says you never listen to me, the deeper emotion,
46
00:04:17.639 --> 00:04:21.839
the deeper feeling could be I'm afraid I don't matter
47
00:04:21.959 --> 00:04:28.279
to you. This therapy approach helps identify negative emotional cycles.
48
00:04:28.800 --> 00:04:34.959
It helps clients recognize those recurring patterns that occur, such
49
00:04:35.000 --> 00:04:44.439
as pursue, withdraw, criticize, defend, anger, shut down. The goal
50
00:04:44.720 --> 00:04:48.879
is to see the cycle as the problem, not the person.
51
00:04:50.079 --> 00:04:59.319
Presenting emotions could be anger, frustration, numbness, defensiveness. Underlying emotions
52
00:04:59.439 --> 00:05:07.560
could be fear, loneliness, shame, sadness, be longing for connection.
53
00:05:08.839 --> 00:05:12.959
Clients are guided to express vulnerability emotions in a safe
54
00:05:13.079 --> 00:05:18.040
environment as an example, they may say, I feel scared
55
00:05:18.160 --> 00:05:23.079
when I think I'm losing you, or I need reassurance
56
00:05:23.560 --> 00:05:29.079
that I matter. I need reassurance that I matter. This
57
00:05:29.240 --> 00:05:36.600
therapy approach is designed to help clients feel emotionally safe, understood, connected,
58
00:05:36.680 --> 00:05:42.720
and supported. These are the building blocks for a secure attachment.
59
00:05:43.680 --> 00:05:49.920
How does this happen? The therapist will observe interaction patterns.
60
00:05:50.759 --> 00:05:56.920
The therapist will slow down emotional conversations. They'll ask questions
61
00:05:57.120 --> 00:06:02.920
about feelings and fears. They'll help clients express emotions clearly,
62
00:06:03.600 --> 00:06:10.720
and they'll guide healthier emotional responses. Sessions are usually active.
63
00:06:11.399 --> 00:06:18.319
They're emotionally engaging rather than purely analytical. In simple terms,
64
00:06:18.480 --> 00:06:23.959
emotionally focused therapy helps people understand what they are truly feeling,
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00:06:24.600 --> 00:06:32.319
recognize unhealthy emotional patterns, communicate more honestly, and build stronger
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emotional connections with others. It's well known for helping couples
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rebuild trust after emotional injuries. How does emotionally focused therapy
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differ from emotional freedom techniques? At its core, emotionally focused
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therapy is talk therapy based on attachment theory, and as
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we know, emotional freedom technique involves tapping on acupuncture points
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to eliminate energy blockages in the energy system, and with
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that change, we enjoy full emotional freedom. If you are
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not a licensed therapist who has specifically been trained in
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couple's therapy or family therapy, this is not an area
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that you should actively work in. Gary Craig, the creator
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of EFT or Emotional Freedom Techniques, shared an admonition with
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us that says, don't go where you don't belong, and
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that is especially true with couples therapy or family therapy.
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Does this mean that we can't use some of the
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methods from emotionally focused therapy to help us with EFT sessions.
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Absolutely not. We can apply some of the principles underlying
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emotionally focused therapy to help us identify the true emotions
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underneath of the presenting emotions, so we can tap on
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those underlying emotions, which often allows us to release the
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entire chain of disempowering emotions, disempowering beliefs, and problematic behaviors.
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Emotionally focused therapy often works with emotionally painful relationship experiences
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such as betrayal, abandonment, emotional neglect, humiliation, rejection, childhood attachment wounds,
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or other relationship issues. These experiences frequently carry enormous emotional intensity.
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Clients can sometimes become too activated to process these feelings
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effectively through conversation alone. This is where tapping can become
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a stabilizing bridge. Imagine a client is recalling a major
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moment when a parent emotionally abandoned them, a spouse betrayed them,
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or they felt profoundly rejected. The practitioner might pause and
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gently say, what do you notice in your body right now?
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The client may respond, my chest feels tight, my stomach
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is twisting, I feel panic. The practitioner guides the client
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through the tapping sequence, which allows the client to stay
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connected to that experience without avoiding it, staying with it safely.
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For example, even though part of me still feels abandoned
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in this memory, I'm here with these feelings right now
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and I'm safe in this moment. Or even though this
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hurt still feels overwhelming, I know my body is trying
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to protect me. I choose to know I am safe
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in this moment and these emotions are being processed through.
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This can help reduce emotional flooding while still honoring the
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attachment wound that is underneath one thing both approaches recognize,
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though they use different language, is that emotional safety changes everything.
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When people feel emotionally safe, they become more open, they
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allow more vulnerability, they're more connected, and they're more capable
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of change. Contrasts that when people feel unsafe, they are
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more defensive. Protective strategies merge, and true authentic connection becomes
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difficult or perhaps impossible. Tapping can help shift the nervous
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system out of defensive survival states, and that can create
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more space for emotionally focused work to continue. This is
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especially important for trauma survivors. Many trauma survivors desperately want connection,
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but their nervous systems associate vulnerability with danger, so when
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emotional closeness begins to increase, fear may also increase as well.
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Tapping can help clients remain regulated enough to tolerate intimacy, vulnerability,
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and emotional closeness without becoming overwhelmed, and that can result
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in tremendous healing. Another valuable way to use tapping is
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to encourage the client to tap between therapy sessions. Many
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relationship conflicts escalate before people have time to think clearly.
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Tapping can become a self regulation tool before emotions escalate.
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Before discussing something emotionally sensitive, a person could tap on
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a fear of rejection, a fear of conflict, fear of abandonment,
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or have anger activation possible set up statements Even though
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I'm afraid this conversation will end badly, I choose to
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stay emotionally open, or even though I feel defensive or ready,
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I choose to listen without shutting down and of preparation
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may help interrupt destructive cycles before they intensify. Knowing secondary
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responses are typically protective responses, and with gentle questioning, patience, kindness,
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as you're working with clients, you can truly be a
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blessing for them. What if you're working for your own issues?
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If anger emerges, yes, honor that feeling and even tap
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on that sense of anger, But then ask the deeper question,
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what is underneath of this anger? Could this be a
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protective emotion? And if so, what's beneath it? What am
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I truly truly afraid of? Go quiet and allow your
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subconscious to offer insight. One of the best ways to
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work with yourself is through journaling. Identify times where you
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experience strong emotion that, in all likelihood is a secondary
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emotion and emotion of protection. Allow yourself to journal on
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the question, what is the true emotion here that is
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creating this feeling? What is our takeaway here? Whether you're
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licensed therapist working with couples, families, or you're working with
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individual clients, or you are a coach helping clients achieve
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the goals of their choosing, I encourage you to use
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EFT to go as deep as you can into what
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is truly truly at the core of emotional challenges, or,
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in the case of a coach, what is the disempowering
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underneath of the presenting belief that is stopping the client
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from achieving his or her desired outcomes. Be thorough, go deep.
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Always check your work, Always check your work. Take what
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you believe is relevant from methods such as emotionally focused therapy,
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and incorporate what is relevant for you what you find
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valuable into your EFT or emotional freedom techniques work. I
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do hope that you are following EFT tapping junction where
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you get your podcasts. If not, well, I do encourage
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you to do that. When you follow, you will never
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miss an episode. If you have a friend or family
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member who is interested in emotional freedom techniques. Why not
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share this episode and then have conversations with the individual
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or individuals about what they felt was valuable for them.
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Do check us out and listen to previous episodes of
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this show, and you can listen to other shows focused
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on creating healthier, happier, more productive lives. You'll find all
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that goodness at Stress reliefradio dot com. If you would
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like to be in touch, email me at cartermethodatgmail dot
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com until our next visit together. I am your host,
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Stephen Carter, thanking you for joining me, and I wish
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for you and your loved ones blessings in abundance.
