Ep. 18: Disability Joy: Celebrating Disability Pride Month with Lachi

Benjamin Thomas: Welcome to the Double Vision Podcast. We are identical twin sisters who grew up with a rare retinal condition, which basically means we've had to do a lot of adapting. My name is Janelle and I'm the oldest by four whole minutes, so naturally I get to go first. And I'm Joy. A lot of our life has been problem solving, a lot of feelings, and realizing that we're probably not the only ones navigating this. I work as a therapist and I tend to slow things down and look for what's steady underneath it all. And I'm a writer and creative. I have a background in education and I navigate the emotional journey in real time. She does, and we balance each other out. Janelle keeps one foot on the ground, and Joy keeps things honest and alive. On Double Vision Podcast, we talk about the social and emotional experience of being in a body. The stuff we all deal with. Identity, belonging, and self-trust. We talk about anxiety and overthinking and what it looks like to advocate for yourself and keep going, even when it's hard. We make space for the parts that don't show up on paper but shape our whole lives. If you've ever felt like you're trying to figure out how to be yourself out loud, you're in the right place. Welcome Double Vision listeners. In honor of Disability Pride Month, we're thrilled to welcome Lachi, a 2024 USA Today Woman of the Year, award-winning recording artist, recording academy national trustee, CEO of Ramped, and author of I Identify as Blind. As a legally blind artist, she uses music, storytelling, and advocacy to help reshape conversations around disability pride, accessibility, and inclusion. With work that sits at the intersection of music, disability culture, and social change. This is a conversation that challenged the way Janelle and I think about disability. Even days after recording, we are still processing, especially her invitation to consider disability joy. In this episode, Lachi shares a story about asking a room full of disability advocates to describe a moment of disability joy and being met with silence. I think many of us have become so accustomed to talking about pain, barriers, and injustice, and so skeptical of anything that feels even remotely inspirational that we sometimes overlook the genuine moments of joy, creativity, and curiosity that disability can also bring. In the days since our conversation, I've intentionally started looking for disability joy in my own life, and I've been surprised by how many moments I've found. In fact, Janelle and I are finding so many that we may need to record an entire episode of simply sharing examples. I can't help but wonder if maybe that room full of people were missing not the absence of disability joy, but the practice of noticing it. As you'll hear in today's conversation, Lachi believes that everyone has a disability identity, whether they identify as disabled or not. We invite you to explore your own relationship with disability and perhaps even discover a little disability joy along the way. Let's get into it. Welcome, Watchi. ⁓ when I first heard you speak at the Browl Institute a couple months ago, I started furiously taking notes and I called my sister and I said, You have to get her book. And I said she's just someone who I said, she just talks about disability differently. Like, yes, the embracing that we've all been talking about, but there's something a little bit different in her message, and I feel like it's taking it to like the next level culturally. And I just found myself, even as I was reviewing my notes, I was noticing, yes, all of the information, but I was remembering then the feeling that I had when I was listening to you speak and listening to the book. And it was that feeling of sitting up a little bit straighter, of just having this kind of pride and joy in this piece of my identity that I like you and and Janelle didn't embrace until adulthood. And so ⁓ on this podcast, we really ⁓ focus on the social emotional impact of of living in a body. And of course, that lens for us on Double Vision is is through vision. But many of our listeners are allies or they might have ⁓ you know, invisible or visible disabilities. And so I'm really looking forward to having them hear about kind of the big umbrella of disability that you speak of that many of us aren't aware that we're in, and then also how you know that. That's a an umbrella that many of us could end up or likely will become a part of during our lifetime. But before we kind of dive into some of those topics like the umbrella of disability and some of the frameworks, ⁓ we would love for our listeners to hear a little bit about you and how you came to embrace that piece of your identity. Sure, absolutely. So Lachi Sheher, I'm a black woman with cornrows. I identify as blind and neurodivergent. I also identify as a New Yorker, an Aries, and a loudmouth. And now that the Knicks have won, I ⁓ I think I identify as an asshole. you know, like you mentioned, I I do a lot of speaking. I'm a touring recording artist, I am a trustee at the Grammy, so I do a lot of work in the music industry, especially cultural work. I recently wrote a book. I've A TV host. I just I do all of the things. ⁓ Fashionista, head of Glam Canes, head of ramped RAMPD.org. We're the ones that brought ASL to the red carpet of the Grammys. It's like everything I do is essentially, I guess, combating the stigma and erasure of the disability identity, whether it's through pop culture, whether it's through music, whether it's through fashion, whether it's through storytelling, whether it's through jokes, and whether it's through community building. That's me, Lachi, like Versace, in a nutshell. And I'm just really excited to chat with you guys about some of the work ⁓ that I've been doing, but also this idea of joy as resistance, this idea of I mean, just recently folks have been talking about disability in the news and around really the world because of some of the issues that are being brought up about, you know, the ADA and what it means to be able to just live a disabled life without being seen as someone who deserves to be institutionalized, right? And it's this the discussion of like who deserves more human rights and who deserves less human rights, when in actuality it's called human rights. As long as you're a human, you should have the rights, right? So so so I love ⁓ having these discussions outside of a medicalized lens, outside of a pathologized lens, outside of a charity or grievance lens. And really having them through a social model lens, a lens of culture, a lens of celebrating the different parts of ourselves that make us the unique freckle that we were meant to be in order to actually have impact on this world. Bachi, this is Janelle, and the your words are just coursing through my veins. I just feel like you're just resonating so deeply. I I come from the the field of social work and we talk a lot about the tensions between who's worthy and who's unworthy. There's so many ways in our culture and society that we kind of put these labels and make these decisions on who who's worthy, whether it be about race or sexual identity or gender or disability, we have a lot of ways and a history that we've really decided who's who's worthy and who's not worthy. So I I I love that you speak to that and the work that you're doing is so incredibly powerful. And You write a lot about in your book. I mean, there's so many parts I loved about your book, but one of them was how you talk about allyship. It really stood out to me because Joy and I have talked a bit about like access intimacy, that term coined by the amazing disability justice rights advocate Mia Mingus. And we loved the way that you framed allyship. So t can you tell our little listeners a little bit more about what it means to be an ally from your perspective. I don't think there is such a thing as a disability ally. So here's what I think. I get the question a lot. And I this is I don't think I'm radical. People tell me I'm radical. ⁓ so so here's when people ask me, hey, how do I be a disability ally or what what does that look like? Do I ask people about access needs? Do I have a ramp? Do I, you know, just listen. These are all really great things, but I actually don't think there's such things as a disability. Disability ally or disabled ally or whatever, disability community ally. I think number one, you need to recognize what disability actually means, what the broader disability umbrella is. The disability umbrella is so vast and so wide. It could include, yes, physical disabilities, which is like being a wheelchair user or you know, using a cane or a dog, which is really the first thought people think. When they think disability. But it can be as broad as tinnitus, as social anxiety, as chronic back pain. I just named three things, and like every listener is like, ⁓ well, I I got that. Right? Mm-hmm. You don't have to identify to have some form of disability identity. Because once you do step one, which is recognize how vast disability is. Step two is recognizing where in that tapestry you fit. Because you're not gonna fit there in the future. You don't have to fit there temporarily when you break your arm. You fit in there now. You have a need that is not being met, that affects the way you traverse a world that wasn't built specifically for your mind, body, and the way you communicate. That you have to overcompensate for, that if it was accommodated. You would no longer have to overcompensate. Your need would be met. So, where in the tapestry do you fit? And then once you figure out what that is, then you're just in community. You will never be able to be a disabled ally, a disability ally, until you recognize your own disability identity. And like I said, you don't have to identify as a disabled person to recognize your disability identity. True. Empathy can only come when you can see yourself in someone else. Now, this is why I say that, because you know, I talk a lot about how I don't like when organizations are not disability led, right? And maybe it's led by a parent, maybe it's led by somebody who cares, some kind of do gooder. I I don't got time for that. Right. And and then they turn around and they're like, you know, but Lachi, you say that everybody has disability identity then. And I'm like, yeah. So what's yours? Until you lead from a place of understanding your disability identity, then I will categorize you as non-disabled and you are not disability led. You are led by a non-disabled person, a person who doesn't recognize their disability identity. We came in hard. Why are y'all doing that? I wanted to say some jokes first. ⁓ We just like to cut right to the crux here. Let's go. Let's go. ⁓ I'm that that's actually speaking though of of humor, I've I've never heard the models of disability put in such I guess easy to understand ways until I heard you speak about them and write about them as far as I mean, we've talked about the medical and social model, of course, ⁓ on this podcast in the past, but I had never really thought about or I guess maybe even heard of the charity and the cultural model. And I like your Distinction as far as like the party examples. Would you be able to take us through those? My boy John, the wheelchair user, essentially the medical model is saying that it and hopefully the listeners already understand what these models mean. But if not, there are different ways to look and you know relate to disability. When you hear the word disability, what framework do you think of it in? Right. It's almost like when you think of the word car, you when you see a car, you could think of it as, ⁓ It's a way for me to get back and forth. You see it as a means of communication. Or when you think of a car, you think of it as responsibility. Maybe you got it as a gift from your parents. Or when you see a car, you think of it as wealth. And it's like, I have 10 cars in my driveway and I don't even use them. You know, so those are the different ways lenses you could view a car. There are different lenses in which you can view disability. One, which is a very popular way, is the medical model, which essentially says, You're broken. And the hero is the cure, right? So we'll let's go get you fixed. And so the example I use is if there's a party happening on the second floor and there's a staircase and no ramp, and John the wheelchair user is at the bottom of the staircase, and the party throwers are at the top, and they go, ⁓ well, just go ahead and get your legs fixed, and then you can be in the party. Go traverse this busted ass healthcare system. Get your legs fixed, and then you can join the party. So that's medical model. The second model That's also very popular is the charity model. This is the model where ⁓ the do-gooder is the hero and the disabled person is the burden or perhaps the inspiration porn, the trauma trope, and every and that's the real stigmatized version of disability. And then the hero is the do-gooder. So let's go back to our John the Wheelchair user. He's downstairs, he's trying to get up in this party because he's just trying to honestly, he just wants to get like Stacy's phone number, and she's up there. The party throwers are up in the doorway and they're like, ⁓ you know what we could do? We could pass a bowl around. And everybody put money in the bowl to help John get his legs fixed. That's the charity model. Or, ⁓ how about this? Chad shows up to the party, because of course his name is Chad. And he's like, I will carry John up the stairs. Chad carries John up the stairs. And yay, John's in the party now, but At the cost of his dignity, right? He burdened old Chad, and Chad was the do-gooder. So now Chad is celebrated, and everyone is patting themselves on the back for trying to pass around the bowl, right? All of a sudden Stacy's giving her number to Chad. You know what I mean? Yeah. So that's the charity model. The do-gooder is the hero. ⁓ and then we move over. I talk a little bit about grievance model where you view disability as a complaint. A lot of venues and a lot of storefronts. And a lot of websites that are inaccessible often view disability as just a complaint or paperwork or the potentiality of getting in trouble or sued. And so the hero is avoidance. Trying your best to just not have to deal with disabled people. And so at this party example, it would be just not giving John an invite in the first place so that we don't have to even deal with it. ⁓ the next one is now we're gonna go to some of the more positive models. There's the social model where the hero is interdependence. The hero is recognizing that John is only impaired because there's a staircase. It's not about his the fact that he's a wheelchair user. It's about the fact that there are stigmatized attitudes, inaccessible entrances. The barriers are what is disabling to John. Because at the end of the day, John is not actually upset that he's a wheelchair user. He's upset because people treat him like crap. He's upset because he can't get into venues. And so he should be able how he is born, how he is nat how he naturally navigates, should be acceptable. And so the social model says, Okay, you know what? Well, why don't we like lay down a ramp? Or why don't we have this on the first floor? Or why don't we figure out any old way to get John in here wr while keeping his dignity? That's the social model. It's everybody's responsibility. And then there's the cultural model. The cultural model is the celebration of disability identity through disability culture, right? The different languages that we use and have. For instance, deaf culture heavily celebrates sign language. But disability culture also celebrates our contributions, our heroes, our music, our words, our perspectives. All that come from the different minds and bodies that we were naturally born in. And so it's this idea of encountering a person with a b a disability and recognizing them for the different value that they bring, the what I call big disenergy, the drive, the determination, the creativity that living in a disabled body brings. That is the cultural model. And that's the model through and framework through which I write my book. I create my songs and my music and my videos. I do my fashion and ⁓ I celebrate my community. Yes. And you're doing it in so many areas. Like you mentioned, your music, the glam canes. I love the glam canes. I asked for one for my birthday for my daughter. So waiting for that. It's next week. Amazing. Yeah, I'm so curious. ⁓ historically and maybe this gets into the weeds too much. I don't know. But I'm thinking about like my sister and I have been blogging for fifteen years and we At the beginning, I feel like it was really like our tagline was redefining normal and like blindness does not define me. And I feel like that was really kind of getting into like the social model of like, hey, this is this is like more of a an access issue at at many places. But then kind of getting into this cultural model, do you feel like this is a shift that we're just now entering in? I know you've worked in the past with, you know, really famous human rights activists such as Judy Human. And I'm just curious, like, what Are we kind of at like a turning point right now from your perspective? Or is this something that's been happening for quite a while and we're just now it's not just now going into mainstream culture? I feel that there's a lot of people doing a lot of really great work and I gotta give a shout out to the old pandemic for really evening the playing field and allowing a lot of creators with disabilities to really kind of blow up and show the world ⁓ what's up in the disability space and to also kind of come together. There's a lot of stochatic work being done in the disability movements and with this ⁓ ability for so many folks to connect so quickly throughout the pandemic allowed for you know some concepts to really popularize very quickly which has been great shout out to Judy Heumann ⁓ she was one of my she was probably my greatest mentor I had the honor of being mentored by her for a while and we worked very closely we spoke all the time. I think she was just really excited for the work I was doing at Ramped to bring sort of this fight to the culture ⁓ and music industry. And I'm and by fight, I just mean really bringing this work. Cause it's not necessarily a fight. I mean, I'm having fun. I'm not actually like fighting anybody. So I don't know what's going on. So I like that you're talking about like, ⁓ my blindness doesn't define me. I had that moment. So when I was super young, I got signed to a major imprint, like a major label imprint pretty early. I talk about this a little bit in my book, but They were running around going, blind musician, blind musician. And I could not stand it. It was making me throw up a little bit in my mouth. and it's so funny because today I run around and I go, Hey, I'm blind. And people are like, So why were you so upset back then? And it was because I wasn't doing it from a place of power, right? They were the ones kind of selling me as some kind of canned situation that they could get some charity points off of, right? And today I say it from my own place of power. I'm very proud of my blind identity. I'm very proud that I have low vision. I'm proud of all of the things I've been able to accomplish because of the body that I've come in. I'm proud of the fact that, you know, at the end of the day, I used to be super ashamed due to my blindness. I was super quiet. Today I'm a whole solar butterfly, very confident, and I'm still blind, right? So obviously the blindness isn't the issue. The reason why I clap back. At people saying, ⁓ my disability doesn't define me. My disability, like, just see me. Don't see my disability. It's like, well, why not? What's wrong with that? What's wrong with the disability? There's nothing wrong with it. Why are we hiding it? Yeah, I Latis, Chanel. I was just curious, like, how you made that transition. Because I remember reading in your book at one point you were at, I think, some sort of a fancy party. You were always at lots of fun fancy parties. I was just living vicariously through you. I was I was listening to the book and you didn't have your cane and you ended up finding out afterwards that There was a music executive there that thought you snubbed him. And like, was that the turning point, or did it come at another point? Because I think Joey and I could really relate and and especially myself as a counselor, I support people in making that transition from really distancing themselves from their disability to really starting to embrace it. And yet that's a rocky. transition and there's a lot of masking involved before that happened. So I could so relate to that masking and that hiding. And I'm just curious like, was it one moment that you made that transition or did it happen slowly over time? First of all, that occasion always gives me like a big fat like PTSD, like you know, whatever his loss. So I feel like the truth of the matter is it wasn't like I woke up one day and I was like, all right. We good. You know what I mean? I think it was a growth. And it was a growth that came very naturally. So I remember I, you know, I was navigating the music industry, sided passing, as sided passing as I could be. And like you had mentioned, I was tripping over wires. I'm missing hand waves. I'm not doing my best work because I'm not accommodated. And so I really actually started using my cane. And advocating just so I could do better at my job. And so I kind of had to make that leap so that I could, I did it for work purpose, like economic purposes. I was like, I'm gonna have to accommodate myself. I am gonna have to like sit down, accept that I am like legally blind, low vision, accept that I have neurodivergences. So that's step one, and then recognize like what my actual needs are now that I'm acknowledging it. So that is like the hardest step one. You gotta acknowledge it. So it's like, okay, so now that I acknowledge it, what are my needs? And my needs are I need to like walk around with a cane so I can stop banging into glass doors so that I can start banging up against these glass ceilings. Ooh, I like that. I like that. That's good. And so I started using the cane. I started doing that. And then I actually the opposite happened. I thought that if I started using my cane and started openly telling folks about my different needs. that I'd start losing gigs, that I'd start damaging relationships. But actually the opposite happened because I didn't really walk in and go like, all right, I'm blind. Everybody help. It was like, hey, these are my access needs. So I approached my disability from a place of like, hey, here are the things I need to do my best. Are you able to provide them? And I gotta say, people were just like, ⁓ yeah, I could do this, this, and that. And I'm like, perfect. I can work with that. And then I just got better at my job and I got more gigs. Because we were like, ⁓ yeah, you should work with Lachi. Like, you know, she's she's ⁓ freaking amazing. She's a wizard, she can do this, she can do that. And I word of mouthedly just started getting more and more gigs. I'm writing, I mean more and more writing studios. I'm getting more and more clients into my studio as a producer. And that just builds confidence. I just felt like a confident person. And so I'm like, Well, I'm doing great things, I'm being invited to fancy galas, people are calling me up. Why am I ashamed? What part of myself am I ashamed of? Yeah, so much positive reinforcement. Positive reinforcement. And so I just got really good at my thing because I was like, let me accommodate myself. And you know, that that was actually the beginning of glam canes, right? Because now I'm getting all these fancy parties and I'm wearing these fancy dresses, right? So I'm like, well, the cane's got to match. But also it was kind of the beginnings of ramped because I had realized, like, hey, I've been masking this whole time. Other people have to be masking in the music industry, but I wouldn't know because they're masking, right? It was just this idea of like, you know, if we start, if we allow ourselves to be able to navigate society without having to mask, I mean, that's the vision. To be able to build career authority and financial stability without having to mask. That is the vision. That is the dream. And it's all just because of stigma. It's fake. We made it up together. We all agreed together. Who deserves what? And we can just flip that. I'm curious, this is Joy. And do you ever encounter people who, when you have your cane out, they go the opposite way and they are like overhelping, or I just know that's something that's a fear and an encounter and an experience of a lot of people out there is when they start ⁓ embracing that part of their identity and showing up in new ways and showing up with their mobility devices that sometimes ⁓ people do. Treat them in disempowering ways. So I'm curious if that ever happens to you and if you have any kind of advice to people who encounter those types of experiences. Okay, well, I am gonna say this, and this is not a commercial for glam canes, but the glam cane and joy, I'm gonna use you as like a test subject. So when you receive your glam cane, let us know what happens. But we constantly get this very specific feedback. When I use the glam cane. Two things happen. One, first of all, people treat me differently. They don't come over and say, like, ⁓ do you need help? They often say, like, ⁓ that's a cool cane. And that's how the conversation starts. And then because that's how the conversation starts, the response is generally a lot more confident, right? Of the cane user. And then we're now having a confident conversation. And so you're no longer kind of being viewed as like, do I need to help this person? We're just having a conversation. Because that person viewed a person who believed they were worth it. You walked in saying, I'm worth it, without even having to say a word. And so that's step one. I mean, it's one of the reasons why, like, you know, we're now going into walkers and mobility canes and all this other stuff, because that is already so powerful. So people ask me, they're like, Lachi, how do you you know, you're just so confident. You walk in, you just do whatever. If somebody grabs, you know, if somebody like now not not every day I'm Harley Quinn, but like Somebody tries like grab my arm like, okay, hold on, player. All right. Okay. Me going to the bathroom is not by committee. Okay. I think that because of the way I carry myself, I don't get it often. I don't get people coming up and going, like, ⁓ do I, you know, what what do I do? I get somebody who says, ⁓ shashi good. Which is ⁓ which can also have its backlashes, right? ⁓ in a way, right? Because sometimes I'm like, hey. Anybody just cause anybody there? And they're like, ⁓ yeah, yeah, yeah, we're here. I mean, ⁓ I will just walk full speed into a wall very confidently. People say, like, well, how do I do that? And the only real response I can give is is like you have to really kind of find your confidence when we navigate, especially as blind people, but for other wheel wheelchair users, for other folks who like are so used to being either ostracized, stigmatized, or ⁓ infantilized. It's difficult to healthily showcase confidence without it coming off combative because you're just working through so much freaking trauma and internalized ableism. This is why I like expressed to folks to really like figure out what your disability culture is. What is your disability joy for when no one's around? What makes you feel good about yourself? Just period. Do what you can to live in that space. You're not maybe gonna wake up every day and the crown is just fully on, but how do you sharpen that saw every morning? Because at the end of the day, people will react to true confidence, to true inner self-love and inner self-peace. When you have that, then it emanates and people are not as afraid. You know, I think what we react to as people with disabilities. Is the the fear that the person is exuding. So if somebody just came up and was like, Hey bro, can I help you out? ⁓ you good? You wouldn't react so bad. But if somebody's like, ⁓ my God, okay, how do I like but yeah, I think just find that confidence within yourself. I mean, one of the big projects that I'm working on right now is the ⁓ the children's album that we're working on. It's a kids' album, it's it's pop, it's hip hop and stuff like that, but it's like oriented for people of all ages. So I couldn't cuss during that the creation of that album. I was just about to ask if that's I could not cuss during it. But the album celebrates disability joy, embracing neurodivergence, celebrating difference through BOPs. And we had over 55 collaborators with disabilities, over 70 collaborators in general, some Grammy winning, some, you know, Emmy nominated, et cetera, et cetera. And we really made a very strong, beautiful piece of art. Honestly, because I feel like we need to get at them while They haven't been taught internalized ableism yet. But also we need to get at these parents and these teachers that are influencing our young minds to stop influencing them with their own internalized ableism. And one of the things I love, and here's here's where I'll kind of end. And by the way, the name of that album is Magnificent. And ⁓ it's out July 10th for Disability Pride Month. And by the way, happy Disability Pride Month. I love it when a kid comes up to me. And this is happening more and more. A kid will come up to me and say, like, ⁓ that's a cool cane. Like, what is it? Can you see? That's cane is so pretty. Can you see or whatever? And I'm like, no, I use it because I'm blind and also like fashionable. All right. And the kid's like, that's so cool. Bam, that's the end of the conversation. A parent is there and they didn't say, shh, shush, don't ask. That's like my favorite interaction. If I have a kid come up and like, Hey, what's that? Can you see? And the parents like, Don't ask that. I don't like that because there's never a good clap back. People are like, ⁓ no, it's totally fine if the kid asks. And like the parent will be like, No, tell how to raise my kid. So I'm like, you know, so like I love it when a parent is just like, Yeah, go be curious. I think that is healthy. I think that is beautiful. I think curiosity is the best way to move through life. And it's when we stop being curious that we actually just stop growing. And learning and living. So true. So powerful. Yeah. I love like I love what you're saying about curiosity. And I also really appreciate how you're bringing up like disability joy. And that's one of the reasons we wanted to have you as our guest for Disability Pride Month. This was very intentional because this is what you stand for. This is what you're spreading all around with through your music, through glam canes, through your book interviews. And we want To help spread that to others. And at the same time, I don't mean to be like bringing it down. I feel a little bit like, am I like Eeyore? Like want, want, but I find you those questions so that you would be the downer. Enjoy it. And this, I don't think this has to be a downer question, but I will say as a psychotherapist, one of my goals, not only just as a psychotherapist, but also as a human, is just to really allow all of it, not to make any emotions as like bad. And so I'm Constantly looking to find that balance in my own life and in the lives of the clients that I work with between growing that disability joy and then also allowing for grief, which is a natural part of life. And it's a natural response to changing bodies and changing lives. And so I wonder if you have any thoughts on finding that balance between the joy and the grief. Yeah, I feel so strongly about this question. ⁓ first and foremost. I remember I was in a I don't remember what what I was doing, but I was actually like in a room with a ton of disability leaders and disabled like activists and things like that. And they were like, Who has a question for the room? I don't remember what we were talking about. ⁓ but I raised my hand and I had just it was we were talking about something specific, but I wanted to throw a huge curveball and just have a good time and have some fun. And so I had said, Can somebody tell me? An instance of disability joy they recently came across, or like over the last year, and nobody had anything to say. ⁓ This was like not that long ago. And no one had anything to say. And I was like gagged. I had I like had bullet points of things that I was about to list. And nobody had any like a single thing to say. It was crickets, and that was a huge room. And so I started running around and like doing that in different rooms. And people didn't really have much to say. In fact, some people said, Well, I don't have any instances of disability joy, but here's a problem I recently faced. And I'm like, Well, that's not. And then, like, then everybody will pile on to responding to that. And I'm like, that wasn't the question, guys. You did not do the assignment. And so I have been like, Listen, people, guys, oppression is the problem. Period. Like, that is like the world problem is oppression. It's the stigma, and we use that stigma to feed into this idea of oppression, systemic oppression, right? And the only way I believe that we will kill oppression is not gonna be through pol policy, it's not gonna be through laws, it's not gonna be through a fight, it's not gonna be through war, it is going to be through joy. Because joy is a resistance that no one can ever break. Me smiling and having a good time is the biggest fight for disability rights. Because A, I'm showcasing that you can be disabled and smile and have a good time to anybody who believes that you can't. Everyone is so afraid to do anything about disability because they are so afraid of disability. Right? ⁓ And I've always been low vision. And then, like I explain in my book, one day I wake up and then it's like like almost completely gone. And so them's the haps. But really, honestly, I want to get into the grief part. So joy is the biggest form of resistance, right? On the other side, you talk about the grief of changing bodies. I don't feel grief for my vision loss. I don't feel grief as I had gradually lost it. I don't feel grief that it was snatched away that one day. I don't feel grief for my OCD. My ADHD, general anxiety, they all, it when accommodated, they all bring such magical situations. What I have grief about is how freaking long it took me to recognize that. What I have grief about is how long it took me to find liberation. When I was young, I was just so ashamed about everything. I masked everything. I feared everything. I was outcast. I had no confidence really and anything. I didn't even know who I was. I was so ashamed of all of my identities and s that I denied every single one of those identities and I couldn't tell you who I was one day, although it wasn't a day, like I told you guys it was kind of a growth. But I do remember just looking back and saying, God and I'm like, I am t I'm getting very emotional right now. I grieve over all the time Lost, being unliberated. That is where I feel the greatest grief. As my body changes, my body just fucking changes. That's what bodies do. We grow, we change. You one day you'll have sight, one day you won't have sight. One day your arms gonna work, one day it won't work. One day you're gonna start thinking differently. Just like, yo, I used to hate pumpkin. Now I love pumpkin, bro. I will eat pumpkin all day. I don't Used to just vomit when I would eat pumpkin. Now latte season. Pumpkin spice latte, girl, pumpkin, pie, pumpkin, everything. My taste buds changed. My affinities changed. My thoughts change. The type of books I love changed. My career can change. It's just pivots, pivots, pivots. That's what life is. It's about taking life and making it what you want from it. And the sooner you realize that, the sooner you recognize. That oppression stops when joy begins. That is frickin' life. And that's why I do what I do. It's something I can't keep to myself. I have to spread it. I have to get as many other people to understand and do it too. Because that is just essentially how we solve for the greatest problem in the world, which is oppression. I am curious. And yeah, I'm I am blown away. For the person out there who you know, is catching a little bit of your joy, but they're having trouble finding it for themselves. And like what's is there like a a baby step that you can recommend? Sure. Step one is community because I the biggest issue with disability is isolation. And you think you're the only one doing it. You think there's nobody you can talk to about it, etc. So I'd say the first step is building community. And even if it's just going online and trying to find some influencers or some books and That the community cosigns, guys, all right, not some not some wack-a-doodle stuff, okay? Start to build your community because then you'll start to learn. even if you don't ever actually like, it's not like go to a you know, a Tupperware party and force yourself to make some friends. You can still do this behind the screen to start, but start learning the lingo, the language. What are how are other people talking about this? Who are maybe some celebrities that have it? And you can watch how they navigate their life. If you think to yourself, like, hey, how do I ask for a work accommodation? Go to Reddit. There's gonna be a ton of people on there that are talking about, hey, this is how I asked for a work accommodation that went terribly wrong or that went ⁓ well. These are places that are really great with disability and access needs that you should consider applying for. Things like that. When you start to build your community and break down those walls of isolation, that is the best step one. Step two, get Lachie's book. Okay. Download Lachie's music, starting with magnificent. Yeah, I mean, start getting into community, start finding the things that everybody is looking to that are really giving them positivity, understanding. ⁓ of course, I'm going to recommend my own book, but there are some other really great books out there, like Being Human by Judy Human, or The Anti Abelist Manifesto by Tiffany Yu, or start to follow some of these amazing artists and culture bearers and musicians. ⁓ you can find a lot of them at ramped because we are a network of musicians who are open about disability and neurodivergence. And that's r-anpd.org. And really just start spoon feeding yourself this culture so that you can recognize the amazing space that exists once you ⁓ begin to unmask. Yeah, there's actually a growing body of research that supports exactly what you're saying, Lachi, like that When people find connection, especially within their own disability community, they end up ⁓ decreasing levels of anxiety, depression, and and really building confidence. So it's like what you're saying, there's research to back it up. And I know that we're going to continue exploring that in in future episodes. Amazing. Amazing. Good. I'm glad that there's actually some research being done in that area. There's just not enough disability research. So I'm really glad to hear that. So typically we end our episodes with a little game and you seem like the kind of gal who would be good at games and have fun with them. Do you do my I'll give it a shot? Okay. This is it's more of a a would you rather. ⁓ so we just have a couple short would you rather questions. Okay. Would you rather have a glam cane to match every one of your outfits or a soundtrack to match every moment that you're going through? Girl, I think I'm gonna have to have a glam cane to match every outfit because I gotta stay cute. Like, I can stay cute in silence. I gotta stay cute, girl. I'm sorry. I would agree with that. I'm a fellow fashionista and I I love the I love the matching glam canes. I'm gonna be get getting some for myself as well. And by the way, I will also need a seven-inch heel to go with the cane, to go with the dress. I gotta say one of my biggest flexes is probably the fact that I just walk everywhere in seven inch heels. And people are like, what are you, how are you even doing that? And I'm like, how are you not? Like, I don't know how to walk in flats. I don't, I can't be five seven. In fact, y'all are the only ones that know that I'm actually five seven. Thank you. So fun. Okay, and the final one is would you rather see an entire city become completely accessible? Or Change one misconception about disability in the world. Change one miser. I'd rather change a misconception. And here's why. If I go to a venue, I'm a wheelchair user, and one venue has a ramp, and a bunch of people that felt so put out by putting that ramp there, and treat you like you're entitled or treat you like you're a burden, versus a venue that doesn't have a ramp. But everybody wants you there and they're super inclusive and they're heavily accommodating and they're like, Hey, we're gonna make sure you have a good time no matter what. We're gonna make sure you're on the other side of this barrier. We don't have a ramp though. I would go to the venue number two every time. Because at the end of the day, there's no such thing as fully accessible because every single body is different, every single need. Is different. The reason why we have all these laws and trying to make all these people do all this stuff is to actually say, hey, want that guy there. ⁓ want that guy to wanna come. You should already want to be inclusive. You should already want to have everybody come in and be a part. But since you don't, here's 87 laws to make you have to. And so I want to just throw all the 87 laws out and just have people already just want us there. That's why I'd rather kill the stigma rather than get the ramp. Good answer. You're good at thinking on your feet. Girl. And and I did it with my eyes closed. You should think about going into entertainment or, you know, something like that's something I'll look into. My parents still don't know what I do. Because it doesn't spell doctor, I've heard you. Because it's not spelled doctor. There you go. She gets it. Well, thank you again so much, Lachi. It was a true joy, ⁓ discovering disability joy with you. Thank you guys so much for having me and have an amazing rest of the day. Thanks for listening to Double Vision Podcast. The stories and perspectives shared here reflect our own lived experiences with blindness and disability and do not represent all blind or disabled people. This podcast is for conversation and reflection only and is not intended as therapy or a replacement for professional mental health care. If you're enjoying the show, please rate and review wherever you listen. You can also leave us a voice message at 949-414-24. Or email ⁓ AIL at Doublevisionblog.com with any suggestions for future episodes or comments. Special thanks to our production team, TLS Productions and Benjamin J. Thomas.