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Hello, welcome, welcome, welcome to the Dexter Slacks Out podcast with Andrea Hancock and...
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Kellie Powell, welcome, welcome, welcome.
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We have a special guest with us, Miss Sheryl Mays, all the way in Orlando, Florida.
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How's it sunny there?
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It is now, yes. It has been extremely cold over the past couple of days.
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In a world filled with chaos, we try our best to create a balanced lifestyle.
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We love to be productive, but we also love to rest.
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We love to be efficient, but not at the cost of our peace.
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There is a direct correlation between our habits and our happiness.
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The Dexter Slacks lifestyle is meant for those of us who live hectic lives,
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but with the right tools, information and resources, we can strive for order, peace, health, wealth and calm.
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It's not too much to ask.
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We deserve a Dexter's mind, a Dexter's body and plenty of Dexter's spaces to support our Dexter Slacks style.
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Tell me a little bit about who you are and what you do.
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I am an entrepreneur.
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I'm an entrepreneur that has, over the course of years, prior to being an entrepreneur,
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has helped other people in their businesses to really, really thrive before I decided I wanted to do it on my own, for me and for people that I want to serve.
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I took that leap of faith.
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I just jumped off the bridge, kind of built my wings on the way down.
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And decided that one of the things that I wanted to do, my area of expertise, customer service and customer experiences,
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and really helping businesses have a better relationship and managing those relationships with their customers so that they can improve their bottom line.
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There's a huge concept behind customer service.
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And in addition to that, I've always been a female for empowerment.
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I always want to speak up, you know, being more self aware to be able to say, this is who I am.
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This is what I want.
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And I'm worthy of all things that I am given access to.
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And I wanted to spread that message because there are so many of us that are out there.
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And it's women of, you know, all colors, all levels of life.
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There's still like this moment in time where you feel like I'm not sure I'm the right one.
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I'm not sure if I can.
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And so I want people to be unapologetically bold, right, to be confident as you move beyond your fear and walk to what might seem impossible.
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And that's who I am.
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That's so dope.
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I love it.
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I love it too.
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I love it.
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I know I was reading your bio and one of the things that jumped out at me is just a sentence that you had about each person having a gift and taking ourselves to the next level with whatever that gift is.
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How do you go about identifying your gift or helping people to identify their gifts?
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You know, it's such an interesting question because people never think about it in that concept because that's really re-engineering.
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It's re-engineering how we think about what we do every day.
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And when you think about it, most people, they do what they do every day because either they went to school for it and that's what I went to school for.
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That's what I'm going to do.
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Or you were told, this is what you're going to do.
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But when you stop to really think about, am I doing the thing that brings me passion?
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Am I doing the thing that when it gets rough and it gets really, really hard out there that I'm going to wake up and want to keep doing it?
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Am I doing that thing?
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Because if you're not, then you're at a place where you're not going to find happiness and fulfillment because you're not doing the thing that brings you that, the passion, the purpose.
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And then with passion and purpose, I believe comes opportunity because if you are passionate about it and you are operating within your gift,
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which means that you are on purpose, I'm using my unique abilities that I've been gifted to do what I need to do, what I know I can do.
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With that, you start to see opportunities because it affects your vision. It's amazing how our brain works when we're looking at the intangible.
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But yet you know that that's the place that you want to be.
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Well, what do I do to get there?
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Well, first you've got to believe you deserve to be there.
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Sure.
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That's where it starts.
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And you guys, when you feel like you deserve to be there, it's amazing how things just surface.
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And you talk about the gift.
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Then you start to release all of that negativity. It kind of drops the doubt, the fear, the imposter syndrome.
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All of that stuff kind of goes down to the ground closer.
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And so what's left is all this hope, inspiration, opportunity, clarity, focus.
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All of this stuff that we have inside of us, that we've let all that other stuff just crumble.
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And so there it sits repressed until we release it. And I say there's a champion in every one of us.
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You know, inside of each of us, there's somebody inside saying, Coach, let me in.
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I got you.
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Let me in the game. And we're going, no, not yet. I'm not ready. I got to do this. It's not time.
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I'm not worthy. I still, you know, so we do all of that and we repress it.
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But the gift, when you release the gift, everything else just kind of blossoms and flourishes from that.
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And you find that you might be in your gift.
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And you just didn't realize it as a gift.
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Yes.
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And sometimes the gift just finds you and you're like, what?
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That is so funny. Cause like, um, my husband talks about this all the time, how something, something that comes easily to me.
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You know, I don't look at myself as being a genius or being extraordinary.
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So it's like, yeah, if I could do it, can't you like, and he's like, no Andrea, everyone can't do that.
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And I'm like, oh my God.
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So we don't even recognize our gift because either we came from a family where everyone did that and that was the way we did it.
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Or we were taught how to do that where we realized everyone around us may not have that skill set where it might have been normal for us.
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So, um, and not to minimize what's normal for normal for normal for us may not be normal for everyone.
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And then experiencing the magnificence of that.
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Like, yeah, this is what makes me unique and I can help other people with this gift.
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And you know, the thing that stands out to me that you said is sure is, is, is coupling that gift, if you will, or, or I'll say ability with the passion is actually what makes the gift because we can be really good at something and hate it.
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That's not a gift.
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You know, that's not our thing that's not our jam as people say right.
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But when you couple it with that passion there, then that's where the shininess comes in that's where you can really identify that gift the ability plus the passion.
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So I love that you, you tap into that because it does, it really has to connect with something that you love.
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You like being here.
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Absolutely.
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And you know the thing about it to Kelly is then when you speak to it, people hear it.
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Right, they hear it in your voice, they see it on your face.
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They see it in your gestures when you're talking about it because you're just like, you're so excited like, oh my gosh, let me tell you.
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And it kind of happened six years ago, but you're still excited about it.
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And it's still, you know, fuse you and brings it liberates you and releases that fire whenever you get to think about it.
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And you know that you are still in the right place.
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Doing what you love doing.
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Beautiful.
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What moved you to recognize because you described a shift that you made where you were facilitating a lot of other people in reaching their goals, be it secularly or otherwise, but you then decided, hey, I can do this for me.
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What was that shift like for you?
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It was scary as heck.
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Let's keep it real.
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It is, you know, it is scary.
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It's scary. It brings up all of that. The stuff that you might have had a little bit of it just compounds like you might have had a little bit of doubt.
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Now you are just like totally doubtful.
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You might have had just that inkling of fear, but now you are totally afraid. It just expounds everything that that will stop you.
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Everything that will stop you every conversation that you might have had with someone where they said, Oh, really? Is that your choice?
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You can come up with something else. You know, it all of that really starts to surface and it starts swarming around in your head. And the only thing you can think of is I'm not worthy.
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I'm not worthy enough until that day comes when you learn how to silence the chatter.
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When you learn how to silence not only that external chatter, but that internal chatter because, you know, a lot of the struggles that we have is that what other people is with us.
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We have to first struggle ourselves to be able to say yes to us.
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When I can say yes to me, I can say yes to you, Kelly. I can say yes to you, Andrea, and feel good about saying yes and being a part of whatever it is that we're talking about.
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But if I'm not saying yes to me, then that passion that I have for something else is not really driven by my hard strings.
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It's just driven because I told you I would.
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And I always operate in a level of excellence. So I'm going to do what I do.
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But that's different from doing what you do because, oh my gosh, you know, it's allowing you to make that shift.
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And you know that even though you're operating afraid, you're operating scared, you're going to make some mistakes.
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You might go up three steps and come down four stairs.
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And it's a jungle out there, yes.
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But that next level thinking that that shift, making the shift from where you are to really saying I'm worthy of my success is what's going to get you to silence the chatter and go, you know what, I got this.
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I'm going to do this every single day and you wake up every day and some days, you know, there's some butterflies in my stomach, but I say now I have taught them to fly in formation.
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Right now they just fly in command. I go, okay, I hear you. I'm scared. Yes, I am. But we're going to do this. And then they start to simmer down.
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But you don't think that self talk that we truly have to have with ourselves every single day. I mean, you can't do it on Monday and then don't tell yourself how much you appreciate yourself until the following Monday.
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Because there's a lot of stuff that's happened in between that time frame.
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That's going to whip your behind with your train of thought with your focus is going to just try to you can call it whoever you want to we can call it Satan we can call it demonic we can call it my lack of focus.
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You know, all of those things that we can call it with the reality is that it happens for every single one of us.
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So whatever terminology we utilize the basic of it is that we're going to encounter this every single day whenever you go out of your comfort zone.
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And you know, so you have the comfort zone then you got that little stretch outside the comfort zone you're like okay, I'm even cool over here.
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But then that one passed that one.
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That's what you are.
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Wait a minute.
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Yes.
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I'm just having them thought like wait a minute now I'm really going out there. But then you go. Okay, let's just keep doing it.
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And you keep going and you keep going and that's what I've had to do in my business is that yeah I've had to make some twists and some turns and some ideas that I thought was just fabulous that nobody wanted and I said, what.
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And I took it personally right and you sit back and you know you sit back and you go through those emotions because we should.
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You've got to go through those emotions is this devastating but you only get 24 hours. It could be devastating.
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It can be you know disappointing. It could be frustrating.
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Have the emotion, but then have that ability to say I'm going to move forward.
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So I always get myself 24 hours when I've had a really major setback I go okay you can be you can have your pity party for 24 hours.
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But then tomorrow, what's the plan.
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Yeah.
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That's so grounding, because it acknowledges the feeling.
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We don't want to repress that.
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But it doesn't allow you to bottle in it.
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Right.
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And you know a lot of our listeners are entrepreneurs. Some aren't.
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But what I think about entrepreneurship is it's like struggling just life and dealing with this mindset that a lot of people maybe have to develop.
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And one of the things you mentioned about self talk.
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And our and our dexterous life start inner circle and the courses that we created. Like, you know, we first find out purpose vision, that kind of thing.
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The next thing before we even start delving into how to best put a system together. What's the best way to organize is the self talk part.
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Because once you, you know, create this vision for yourself and you're like, Oh, yeah, this is really what I should be doing or this is really who I am.
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But then you start kind of falling into these old habits and you start seeing the results of those habits and you're like, who am I, who am I to think that this is really my vision, who am I to think that, or this is this always happens.
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I always try to start a new routine. And this happens and that happens and it's just not for me.
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So we have to really address those emotions really address that self talk.
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Another thing you mentioned, or I saw on your website actually, and it piqued my interest because I read the book about it. It's Kaizen, I'm pronouncing that that pronouncing that term correctly.
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And I think that's accurate.
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It's, it's sometimes when we start talking about, you know, being larger and addressing our visions and our goals and being transformed. We think this is sometimes these huge moves these huge steps.
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And we can leap off this big precipice to, you know, and sometimes we do like you mentioned, you flew off, you flew off for entrepreneurship and, you know, sometimes we do have to, to make big steps.
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But a lot of times with Kaizen, can you go into that a little bit and, and how that kind of can work.
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And so Kaizen in its, in its original state is a form of lean, lean thinking. So I'm a lean six Sigma black belt, which is all about eliminating waste and adding value. And so the term Kaizen within itself mean continuous improvement.
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And that's what we go. And so I took that concept of continuous improvement and took it over here into personal development, because you're right. When we get ready to look at our accomplishments, when we get ready to set goals, we like these big mammoth things in order for us to go I did such a great job.
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But the reality is it's about sustainability. How do you keep it going. Not that I just got there. And now I'm looking around like, Okay, what now, how do you keep that level of success how do you keep that mindset of positivity.
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It's by every day, just seeing that improvement and celebrating the improvements, because that's what then starts to shift your behavior. And when you shift your behavior, then your habit shift, but it all stems from your thinking.
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And so I love the Kaizen approach because again, it's about giving ourselves some grace, giving ourselves some space, and looking for that continuous improvement. What am I seeing, because if I'm continuously doing this thing and I'm getting positive results, will that work if I take it and put it into my finances.
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Well, I use that same method. I see my finances are starting to improve. Can I now take that and put it into my relationships.
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So it's taking that continuous improvement with building the steps that are sustainable to see the results. You want to repeat it. That's just human behavior. I want more of the thing that made me do good.
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Right. So when we shifted into our personal lives, then you have that opportunity and we operate in seven areas of our lives.
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So you take that process, you master the process so it works for you.
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And then you move along, and you use it in other areas of your life. You know, the framework for everything that I do and I may not have shared the name of the business it's rise and shine consulting and coaching firm.
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And the framework of everything that I do is first its mindset, then its methods, then its sustainability.
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Because no matter what we do, we got it, we got to get our heads there.
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Yes.
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If you if your head is not there and your head is going no, but your body and your activities are going yes.
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There's that, you know, there's that clash, you know, that contrary where it's not going to happen because you're not at the same place.
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We got to figure this thing out first mentally.
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Because again, when it gets tough when it gets hard when people start doubting you or you doubt yourself, you have that mental fortitude to be able to say, I'm all in.
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I'm all in.
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And so that's why is that.
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Yeah, I was thinking sometimes you also have to know to, I think with Kaiser and is
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there's going to be some some some resistance. There's going to be some
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what's the word I'm looking for.
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Change.
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It's going to be some change and when we change some disruption.
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All out.
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It's going to be a little fallout.
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Yeah, you know, and that's why you got to have the mindset first.
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Right, because even when the fallout happens when you know when you're up against the wall, even if it's just in conversation, your mindset is what's going to allow you to be able to stand up confidently.
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Feeling, you know, not even feeling but being competent.
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Right, because you have to be competent, you got to know what you know, and you have to be able to share that information that shows that you are confident about what you're doing and what you know.
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Then you have the opportunity to really start helping other people.
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You know, the other thing about about Kaiser is looking at the defects.
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Right when you think about lean thinking you want to look at the defects what are those things that's negating me.
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Is it my limited beliefs.
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Is it the way I speak to myself is it that I have no morning routine to get me into a positive mindset.
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Right so what are these things that are defects in what I'm doing so that I can eliminate those create the good habits.
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Because when you take away something you got to give yourself something that's just the way we think.
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Can you take something away from me without giving me something. So we take away that negative habit.
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And we put it, we start now to utilize our approach that we created for that continuous improvement.
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And now we go okay well I took that away but I'm replacing it with something good I love this this feels good.
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I think about it makes me smile puts me into a positive mindset I'm thinking uplifting things and I'm not thinking about oh my gosh how am I going to make this happen.
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Oh Lord here we go again same thing right so you totally reframe the method in which you think by putting that process in place.
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And so I love Kaiser and it's a manufacturing term but when you think about it in the human concept.
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And it makes a lot of sense because we are a lot of times when people have those blocks.
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They spend a lot of time wasting by not facing the fact that I have these blocks.
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But they're looking at blaming and complaining well that's a waste of time energy and resources and it's not going to get you anywhere.
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Right.
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Yeah, it's a defect as you mentioned one of the things I liked about Kaiser is you know we have that flight or fight response to change.
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And so it's like just do enough where you don't engage that like you kind of sneak in this change little by little where it's like it didn't notice it didn't notice.
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I keep doing it and talked about like being outside the comfort zone so you kind of stay in that comfort zone and then you kind of sneak out of it.
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And it sounds like if you some of the anecdotes I've heard about Kaiser and sound absurd to be quite honest like you know person wants to walk, you know, for 30 minutes on the treadmill every day.
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And they can't really get this habit down. The first step could even be just coming in and putting on your tennis shoes and walking out the room.
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What did that accomplish?
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And you're like, and then you do that and you keep doing that consistently.
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The next step is to come in and like stand on the treadmill and then walk away.
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Yeah, just do a minute. And it's like, and I've experienced that myself and this is something we also tell our clients it's like, you know, sometimes you come into a cluttered space, or you look at a task that's really overwhelming.
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And you just say, what's the tiniest little bit you can do.
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Can you just maybe you see a newspaper that you don't want.
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Can you just put that in the trash. That's all you want to do.
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And then you just do that. Or if you see if it's a huge task and you think it's going to take you, you know, five hours. Can you do five minutes.
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And what normally happens is, once we just get started.
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We can keep the momentum going and that's really what I loved about the concept is just kind of like inching toward like you said that improvement.
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That continuous improvement because you know when you think about it growth within itself disruptor and we don't like.
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You start growing and you start seeing yourself doing things that you might not have done in the past.
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And you start seeing yourself accelerating and you know specific areas as a disruptor.
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And what do we do when things are disrupted you you talked about it right we fight a flight either I'm out of here.
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This is upsetting to my system.
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Right.
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Sometimes it's that right yeah yeah and sometimes it's that fear of success. Oh my gosh what happens if I am successful.
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That's another disruptor. Yeah, so many times we think that the biggest fear is fear of failure but fear of success is just as strong and can be just as much of an inhibitor to to change and grow.
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I just said that yesterday.
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I said that I feel like I'm being pulled in two different directions at the same time fear of failure and fear of success like I'm in this you know I guess the news this the start of a new year soon and it's like you can go either way.
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You know and like am I ready and I feel like I feel when you're being pulled in two different directions you're powerless and you can't move at all.
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So, yeah, I'm working on it, but I just I just said that I said the mindset is first. Yes, yes, the mindset is first because it's so easy to fall back to the path of least resistance what is the thing that I already know.
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Certainly.
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I know what that is. I know what failure feels like I know what it feels like not to have accomplished something. Right now I can do that all day long but then the other side right and go, wait a minute. I wonder what it feels like to really, you know, accomplish something to finish a task.
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You know I've got clients and I do. I have a accountability clients where we talk for a short period of time. Every day.
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This is what your goal is for today. This is this is what you're going to do because for some people. It's just excuse me it's having that goal in place where somebody is going to ask you what did you do.
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Mm hmm. I see you. It's easier for people to sometimes be accountable to someone else than it is for them to be accountable to themselves. Because when you're accountable to someone else that person that you select and it should be the right person is not going to let you off the hook they're
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going to go oh yeah don't worry about it you can do it tomorrow. No that's not how that works. And so I have clients that aren't you know I have one client in particular have been going through a one of these self paced courses.
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She's been doing this course for about three years has not finished the course. We did it in a month and a half.
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And this is just because it's you know you you want you have a desire to do it. You just don't have the the tenacity to actually put it into place with what you said right coming into the room one day.
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Setting up your desk. Sitting down at the desk you know going through those steps where you are continuously improving every single day to get you to the place where you're like.
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You know you're like you know you're going through these modules now let me answer this and you're surprised you were surprised at how much she did remember. But here it is a self paced course and you've been doing this for three years.
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They're not meant to be three year courses.
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Yeah depends on what you prioritize. And is this the thing that you want to focus on because sometimes the reality is we're focusing on the wrong stuff.
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Yeah so true and we live in a world that is kind of designed to distract us. I mean it's it's full of distractions. Even good ones.
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So listeners. Shell has offered some freebies for you guys. So excited. Five free accountability sessions. One free 30 minute growth session.
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First 10 to text discovery to 866573 for set to 436 I repeat that 8665732436 will receive first of the four letters of self assessment.
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And I am going to put that in our banner.
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And put that number in the banner.
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And for you guys that are that is looking for the screen. We have a number you can text discovery the word discovery to get those three gifts. Thank you so much Cheryl for joining us.
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Yes.
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And I'm going to start with you. You have been right in line with you the name of your company array of sunshine today.
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It was so nice to meet you Kelly.
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Definitely good to speak to you again. And I love it. So your listeners just realize that you are worthy of whatever it is that you would like to accomplish.
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From utilizing the gift that you've been given that is to serve other people.
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Absolutely.
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Absolutely.
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With that you guys have a great rest of your day.
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and enjoy your dexterous lifestyle.
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must sign up for an online dating program which offers an epiphany of your fall and quick start, weeks and Darling's Apartment, and for basketball
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Hello, welcome, welcome, welcome to the Dexter Slacks Out podcast with Andrea Hancock and...
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Kellie Powell, welcome, welcome, welcome.
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We have a special guest with us, Miss Sheryl Mays, all the way in Orlando, Florida.
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How's it sunny there?
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It is now, yes. It has been extremely cold over the past couple of days.
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In a world filled with chaos, we try our best to create a balanced lifestyle.
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We love to be productive, but we also love to rest.
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We love to be efficient, but not at the cost of our peace.
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There is a direct correlation between our habits and our happiness.
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The Dexter Slacks lifestyle is meant for those of us who live hectic lives,
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but with the right tools, information and resources, we can strive for order, peace, health, wealth and calm.
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It's not too much to ask.
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We deserve a Dexter's mind, a Dexter's body and plenty of Dexter's spaces to support our Dexter Slacks style.
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Tell me a little bit about who you are and what you do.
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I am an entrepreneur.
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I'm an entrepreneur that has, over the course of years, prior to being an entrepreneur,
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has helped other people in their businesses to really, really thrive before I decided I wanted to do it on my own, for me and for people that I want to serve.
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I took that leap of faith.
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I just jumped off the bridge, kind of built my wings on the way down.
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And decided that one of the things that I wanted to do, my area of expertise, customer service and customer experiences,
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and really helping businesses have a better relationship and managing those relationships with their customers so that they can improve their bottom line.
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There's a huge concept behind customer service.
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And in addition to that, I've always been a female for empowerment.
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I always want to speak up, you know, being more self aware to be able to say, this is who I am.
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This is what I want.
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And I'm worthy of all things that I am given access to.
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And I wanted to spread that message because there are so many of us that are out there.
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And it's women of, you know, all colors, all levels of life.
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There's still like this moment in time where you feel like I'm not sure I'm the right one.
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I'm not sure if I can.
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And so I want people to be unapologetically bold, right, to be confident as you move beyond your fear and walk to what might seem impossible.
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And that's who I am.
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That's so dope.
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I love it.
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I love it too.
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I love it.
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I know I was reading your bio and one of the things that jumped out at me is just a sentence that you had about each person having a gift and taking ourselves to the next level with whatever that gift is.
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How do you go about identifying your gift or helping people to identify their gifts?
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You know, it's such an interesting question because people never think about it in that concept because that's really re-engineering.
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It's re-engineering how we think about what we do every day.
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And when you think about it, most people, they do what they do every day because either they went to school for it and that's what I went to school for.
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That's what I'm going to do.
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Or you were told, this is what you're going to do.
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But when you stop to really think about, am I doing the thing that brings me passion?
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Am I doing the thing that when it gets rough and it gets really, really hard out there that I'm going to wake up and want to keep doing it?
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Am I doing that thing?
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Because if you're not, then you're at a place where you're not going to find happiness and fulfillment because you're not doing the thing that brings you that, the passion, the purpose.
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And then with passion and purpose, I believe comes opportunity because if you are passionate about it and you are operating within your gift,
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which means that you are on purpose, I'm using my unique abilities that I've been gifted to do what I need to do, what I know I can do.
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With that, you start to see opportunities because it affects your vision. It's amazing how our brain works when we're looking at the intangible.
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But yet you know that that's the place that you want to be.
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Well, what do I do to get there?
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Well, first you've got to believe you deserve to be there.
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Sure.
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That's where it starts.
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And you guys, when you feel like you deserve to be there, it's amazing how things just surface.
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And you talk about the gift.
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Then you start to release all of that negativity. It kind of drops the doubt, the fear, the imposter syndrome.
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All of that stuff kind of goes down to the ground closer.
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And so what's left is all this hope, inspiration, opportunity, clarity, focus.
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All of this stuff that we have inside of us, that we've let all that other stuff just crumble.
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And so there it sits repressed until we release it. And I say there's a champion in every one of us.
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You know, inside of each of us, there's somebody inside saying, Coach, let me in.
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I got you.
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Let me in the game. And we're going, no, not yet. I'm not ready. I got to do this. It's not time.
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I'm not worthy. I still, you know, so we do all of that and we repress it.
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But the gift, when you release the gift, everything else just kind of blossoms and flourishes from that.
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And you find that you might be in your gift.
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And you just didn't realize it as a gift.
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Yes.
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And sometimes the gift just finds you and you're like, what?
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That is so funny. Cause like, um, my husband talks about this all the time, how something, something that comes easily to me.
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You know, I don't look at myself as being a genius or being extraordinary.
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So it's like, yeah, if I could do it, can't you like, and he's like, no Andrea, everyone can't do that.
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And I'm like, oh my God.
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So we don't even recognize our gift because either we came from a family where everyone did that and that was the way we did it.
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Or we were taught how to do that where we realized everyone around us may not have that skill set where it might have been normal for us.
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So, um, and not to minimize what's normal for normal for normal for us may not be normal for everyone.
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And then experiencing the magnificence of that.
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Like, yeah, this is what makes me unique and I can help other people with this gift.
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And you know, the thing that stands out to me that you said is sure is, is, is coupling that gift, if you will, or, or I'll say ability with the passion is actually what makes the gift because we can be really good at something and hate it.
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That's not a gift.
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You know, that's not our thing that's not our jam as people say right.
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But when you couple it with that passion there, then that's where the shininess comes in that's where you can really identify that gift the ability plus the passion.
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So I love that you, you tap into that because it does, it really has to connect with something that you love.
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You like being here.
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Absolutely.
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And you know the thing about it to Kelly is then when you speak to it, people hear it.
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Right, they hear it in your voice, they see it on your face.
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They see it in your gestures when you're talking about it because you're just like, you're so excited like, oh my gosh, let me tell you.
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And it kind of happened six years ago, but you're still excited about it.
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And it's still, you know, fuse you and brings it liberates you and releases that fire whenever you get to think about it.
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And you know that you are still in the right place.
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Doing what you love doing.
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Beautiful.
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What moved you to recognize because you described a shift that you made where you were facilitating a lot of other people in reaching their goals, be it secularly or otherwise, but you then decided, hey, I can do this for me.
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What was that shift like for you?
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It was scary as heck.
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Let's keep it real.
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It is, you know, it is scary.
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It's scary. It brings up all of that. The stuff that you might have had a little bit of it just compounds like you might have had a little bit of doubt.
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Now you are just like totally doubtful.
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You might have had just that inkling of fear, but now you are totally afraid. It just expounds everything that that will stop you.
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Everything that will stop you every conversation that you might have had with someone where they said, Oh, really? Is that your choice?
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You can come up with something else. You know, it all of that really starts to surface and it starts swarming around in your head. And the only thing you can think of is I'm not worthy.
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I'm not worthy enough until that day comes when you learn how to silence the chatter.
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When you learn how to silence not only that external chatter, but that internal chatter because, you know, a lot of the struggles that we have is that what other people is with us.
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We have to first struggle ourselves to be able to say yes to us.
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When I can say yes to me, I can say yes to you, Kelly. I can say yes to you, Andrea, and feel good about saying yes and being a part of whatever it is that we're talking about.
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But if I'm not saying yes to me, then that passion that I have for something else is not really driven by my hard strings.
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It's just driven because I told you I would.
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And I always operate in a level of excellence. So I'm going to do what I do.
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But that's different from doing what you do because, oh my gosh, you know, it's allowing you to make that shift.
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And you know that even though you're operating afraid, you're operating scared, you're going to make some mistakes.
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You might go up three steps and come down four stairs.
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And it's a jungle out there, yes.
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But that next level thinking that that shift, making the shift from where you are to really saying I'm worthy of my success is what's going to get you to silence the chatter and go, you know what, I got this.
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I'm going to do this every single day and you wake up every day and some days, you know, there's some butterflies in my stomach, but I say now I have taught them to fly in formation.
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Right now they just fly in command. I go, okay, I hear you. I'm scared. Yes, I am. But we're going to do this. And then they start to simmer down.
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But you don't think that self talk that we truly have to have with ourselves every single day. I mean, you can't do it on Monday and then don't tell yourself how much you appreciate yourself until the following Monday.
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Because there's a lot of stuff that's happened in between that time frame.
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That's going to whip your behind with your train of thought with your focus is going to just try to you can call it whoever you want to we can call it Satan we can call it demonic we can call it my lack of focus.
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You know, all of those things that we can call it with the reality is that it happens for every single one of us.
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So whatever terminology we utilize the basic of it is that we're going to encounter this every single day whenever you go out of your comfort zone.
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And you know, so you have the comfort zone then you got that little stretch outside the comfort zone you're like okay, I'm even cool over here.
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But then that one passed that one.
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That's what you are.
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Wait a minute.
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Yes.
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I'm just having them thought like wait a minute now I'm really going out there. But then you go. Okay, let's just keep doing it.
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And you keep going and you keep going and that's what I've had to do in my business is that yeah I've had to make some twists and some turns and some ideas that I thought was just fabulous that nobody wanted and I said, what.
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And I took it personally right and you sit back and you know you sit back and you go through those emotions because we should.
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You've got to go through those emotions is this devastating but you only get 24 hours. It could be devastating.
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It can be you know disappointing. It could be frustrating.
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Have the emotion, but then have that ability to say I'm going to move forward.
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So I always get myself 24 hours when I've had a really major setback I go okay you can be you can have your pity party for 24 hours.
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But then tomorrow, what's the plan.
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Yeah.
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That's so grounding, because it acknowledges the feeling.
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We don't want to repress that.
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But it doesn't allow you to bottle in it.
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Right.
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And you know a lot of our listeners are entrepreneurs. Some aren't.
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But what I think about entrepreneurship is it's like struggling just life and dealing with this mindset that a lot of people maybe have to develop.
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And one of the things you mentioned about self talk.
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And our and our dexterous life start inner circle and the courses that we created. Like, you know, we first find out purpose vision, that kind of thing.
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The next thing before we even start delving into how to best put a system together. What's the best way to organize is the self talk part.
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Because once you, you know, create this vision for yourself and you're like, Oh, yeah, this is really what I should be doing or this is really who I am.
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But then you start kind of falling into these old habits and you start seeing the results of those habits and you're like, who am I, who am I to think that this is really my vision, who am I to think that, or this is this always happens.
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I always try to start a new routine. And this happens and that happens and it's just not for me.
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So we have to really address those emotions really address that self talk.
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Another thing you mentioned, or I saw on your website actually, and it piqued my interest because I read the book about it. It's Kaizen, I'm pronouncing that that pronouncing that term correctly.
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And I think that's accurate.
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It's, it's sometimes when we start talking about, you know, being larger and addressing our visions and our goals and being transformed. We think this is sometimes these huge moves these huge steps.
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And we can leap off this big precipice to, you know, and sometimes we do like you mentioned, you flew off, you flew off for entrepreneurship and, you know, sometimes we do have to, to make big steps.
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But a lot of times with Kaizen, can you go into that a little bit and, and how that kind of can work.
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And so Kaizen in its, in its original state is a form of lean, lean thinking. So I'm a lean six Sigma black belt, which is all about eliminating waste and adding value. And so the term Kaizen within itself mean continuous improvement.
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And that's what we go. And so I took that concept of continuous improvement and took it over here into personal development, because you're right. When we get ready to look at our accomplishments, when we get ready to set goals, we like these big mammoth things in order for us to go I did such a great job.
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But the reality is it's about sustainability. How do you keep it going. Not that I just got there. And now I'm looking around like, Okay, what now, how do you keep that level of success how do you keep that mindset of positivity.
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It's by every day, just seeing that improvement and celebrating the improvements, because that's what then starts to shift your behavior. And when you shift your behavior, then your habit shift, but it all stems from your thinking.
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And so I love the Kaizen approach because again, it's about giving ourselves some grace, giving ourselves some space, and looking for that continuous improvement. What am I seeing, because if I'm continuously doing this thing and I'm getting positive results, will that work if I take it and put it into my finances.
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Well, I use that same method. I see my finances are starting to improve. Can I now take that and put it into my relationships.
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So it's taking that continuous improvement with building the steps that are sustainable to see the results. You want to repeat it. That's just human behavior. I want more of the thing that made me do good.
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Right. So when we shifted into our personal lives, then you have that opportunity and we operate in seven areas of our lives.
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So you take that process, you master the process so it works for you.
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And then you move along, and you use it in other areas of your life. You know, the framework for everything that I do and I may not have shared the name of the business it's rise and shine consulting and coaching firm.
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And the framework of everything that I do is first its mindset, then its methods, then its sustainability.
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Because no matter what we do, we got it, we got to get our heads there.
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Yes.
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If you if your head is not there and your head is going no, but your body and your activities are going yes.
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There's that, you know, there's that clash, you know, that contrary where it's not going to happen because you're not at the same place.
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We got to figure this thing out first mentally.
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Because again, when it gets tough when it gets hard when people start doubting you or you doubt yourself, you have that mental fortitude to be able to say, I'm all in.
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I'm all in.
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And so that's why is that.
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Yeah, I was thinking sometimes you also have to know to, I think with Kaiser and is
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there's going to be some some some resistance. There's going to be some
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what's the word I'm looking for.
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Change.
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It's going to be some change and when we change some disruption.
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All out.
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It's going to be a little fallout.
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Yeah, you know, and that's why you got to have the mindset first.
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Right, because even when the fallout happens when you know when you're up against the wall, even if it's just in conversation, your mindset is what's going to allow you to be able to stand up confidently.
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Feeling, you know, not even feeling but being competent.
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Right, because you have to be competent, you got to know what you know, and you have to be able to share that information that shows that you are confident about what you're doing and what you know.
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Then you have the opportunity to really start helping other people.
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You know, the other thing about about Kaiser is looking at the defects.
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Right when you think about lean thinking you want to look at the defects what are those things that's negating me.
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Is it my limited beliefs.
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Is it the way I speak to myself is it that I have no morning routine to get me into a positive mindset.
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Right so what are these things that are defects in what I'm doing so that I can eliminate those create the good habits.
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Because when you take away something you got to give yourself something that's just the way we think.
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Can you take something away from me without giving me something. So we take away that negative habit.
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And we put it, we start now to utilize our approach that we created for that continuous improvement.
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And now we go okay well I took that away but I'm replacing it with something good I love this this feels good.
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I think about it makes me smile puts me into a positive mindset I'm thinking uplifting things and I'm not thinking about oh my gosh how am I going to make this happen.
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Oh Lord here we go again same thing right so you totally reframe the method in which you think by putting that process in place.
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And so I love Kaiser and it's a manufacturing term but when you think about it in the human concept.
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And it makes a lot of sense because we are a lot of times when people have those blocks.
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They spend a lot of time wasting by not facing the fact that I have these blocks.
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But they're looking at blaming and complaining well that's a waste of time energy and resources and it's not going to get you anywhere.
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Right.
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Yeah, it's a defect as you mentioned one of the things I liked about Kaiser is you know we have that flight or fight response to change.
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And so it's like just do enough where you don't engage that like you kind of sneak in this change little by little where it's like it didn't notice it didn't notice.
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I keep doing it and talked about like being outside the comfort zone so you kind of stay in that comfort zone and then you kind of sneak out of it.
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And it sounds like if you some of the anecdotes I've heard about Kaiser and sound absurd to be quite honest like you know person wants to walk, you know, for 30 minutes on the treadmill every day.
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And they can't really get this habit down. The first step could even be just coming in and putting on your tennis shoes and walking out the room.
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What did that accomplish?
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And you're like, and then you do that and you keep doing that consistently.
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The next step is to come in and like stand on the treadmill and then walk away.
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Yeah, just do a minute. And it's like, and I've experienced that myself and this is something we also tell our clients it's like, you know, sometimes you come into a cluttered space, or you look at a task that's really overwhelming.
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And you just say, what's the tiniest little bit you can do.
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Can you just maybe you see a newspaper that you don't want.
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Can you just put that in the trash. That's all you want to do.
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And then you just do that. Or if you see if it's a huge task and you think it's going to take you, you know, five hours. Can you do five minutes.
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And what normally happens is, once we just get started.
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We can keep the momentum going and that's really what I loved about the concept is just kind of like inching toward like you said that improvement.
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That continuous improvement because you know when you think about it growth within itself disruptor and we don't like.
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You start growing and you start seeing yourself doing things that you might not have done in the past.
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And you start seeing yourself accelerating and you know specific areas as a disruptor.
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And what do we do when things are disrupted you you talked about it right we fight a flight either I'm out of here.
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This is upsetting to my system.
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Right.
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Sometimes it's that right yeah yeah and sometimes it's that fear of success. Oh my gosh what happens if I am successful.
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That's another disruptor. Yeah, so many times we think that the biggest fear is fear of failure but fear of success is just as strong and can be just as much of an inhibitor to to change and grow.
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I just said that yesterday.
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I said that I feel like I'm being pulled in two different directions at the same time fear of failure and fear of success like I'm in this you know I guess the news this the start of a new year soon and it's like you can go either way.
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You know and like am I ready and I feel like I feel when you're being pulled in two different directions you're powerless and you can't move at all.
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So, yeah, I'm working on it, but I just I just said that I said the mindset is first. Yes, yes, the mindset is first because it's so easy to fall back to the path of least resistance what is the thing that I already know.
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Certainly.
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I know what that is. I know what failure feels like I know what it feels like not to have accomplished something. Right now I can do that all day long but then the other side right and go, wait a minute. I wonder what it feels like to really, you know, accomplish something to finish a task.
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You know I've got clients and I do. I have a accountability clients where we talk for a short period of time. Every day.
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This is what your goal is for today. This is this is what you're going to do because for some people. It's just excuse me it's having that goal in place where somebody is going to ask you what did you do.
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Mm hmm. I see you. It's easier for people to sometimes be accountable to someone else than it is for them to be accountable to themselves. Because when you're accountable to someone else that person that you select and it should be the right person is not going to let you off the hook they're
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going to go oh yeah don't worry about it you can do it tomorrow. No that's not how that works. And so I have clients that aren't you know I have one client in particular have been going through a one of these self paced courses.
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She's been doing this course for about three years has not finished the course. We did it in a month and a half.
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And this is just because it's you know you you want you have a desire to do it. You just don't have the the tenacity to actually put it into place with what you said right coming into the room one day.
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Setting up your desk. Sitting down at the desk you know going through those steps where you are continuously improving every single day to get you to the place where you're like.
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You know you're like you know you're going through these modules now let me answer this and you're surprised you were surprised at how much she did remember. But here it is a self paced course and you've been doing this for three years.
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They're not meant to be three year courses.
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Yeah depends on what you prioritize. And is this the thing that you want to focus on because sometimes the reality is we're focusing on the wrong stuff.
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Yeah so true and we live in a world that is kind of designed to distract us. I mean it's it's full of distractions. Even good ones.
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So listeners. Shell has offered some freebies for you guys. So excited. Five free accountability sessions. One free 30 minute growth session.
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First 10 to text discovery to 866573 for set to 436 I repeat that 8665732436 will receive first of the four letters of self assessment.
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And I am going to put that in our banner.
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And put that number in the banner.
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And for you guys that are that is looking for the screen. We have a number you can text discovery the word discovery to get those three gifts. Thank you so much Cheryl for joining us.
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Yes.
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And I'm going to start with you. You have been right in line with you the name of your company array of sunshine today.
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It was so nice to meet you Kelly.
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Definitely good to speak to you again. And I love it. So your listeners just realize that you are worthy of whatever it is that you would like to accomplish.
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From utilizing the gift that you've been given that is to serve other people.
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Absolutely.
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Absolutely.
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With that you guys have a great rest of your day.
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and enjoy your dexterous lifestyle.
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