00:04:27Rocketing Orange Juice
00:05:31Overrated Beatles
00:07:30Listening Phones (Conspiracy Theory)
00:11:11Poor Grammar
00:14:36A Move To Milton Keynes
00:25:28Modern-Day Kid's Names
00:27:44Friends Of Myrtle Park
00:29:31The Tetley Pub Hunt
אודות פרק זה
Explaining the Boomer era, tying up a phone box, cockney rhyming, rocketing orange juice, overrated Beatles, poor grammar, listening phones (conspiracy theory!), 2 monkeys in a bath, factoids, modern-day kid's names, wrestling Shirley, Friends of Myrtle Park and being mistaken for Rick Astley!
Topics In This Episode
• Rocketing Orange Juice (04:27)
• Overrated Beatles (05:31)
• Listening Phones (07:30)
• A move to Milton Keynes (14:36)
• Modern-Day Kids' Names (25:28)
• Friends of Myrtle Park (27:44)
• The Tetley Pub Hunt (29:31)
Pod Supporters
Mentioned In The Episode
• Laurel And Hardy Appreciation Society
Credits
• Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):
https://uppbeat.io/t/andrey-rossi/seize-the-day
License code: L0K0SWXNRUPEYTDG
Complete Cobblers with Dave Lalor and Jon Rhodes
W: https://completecobblers.com/
F: https://www.facebook.com/cobblerspodcast/
I: https://www.instagram.com/cobblerspodcast/
אנגלית
הממלכה המאוחדת
הראה הערות 🔗
תעתיק 🔗
Dave Lalor (00:10):
Welcome to the very first episode of the Complete Cobblers podcast with me, Dave Lalor.
Jon Rhodes (00:16):
And me Jon Rhodes.
Dave Lalor (00:17):
If you're looking for a well-researched, highbrow cutting edge podcast, keep looking <laugh>. So we made it. We finally made it.
Jon Rhodes (00:26):
Yeah.
Dave Lalor (00:26):
When I came up with this crazy idea, took you all of about 20 seconds to reply and say, yeah, go on.
Jon Rhodes (00:33):
Well, when I first saw it Dave, I just thought, you know what? I've seen you only a few weeks before, and we ended up talking for three hours and that were after about 10 years of not seeing each other. So I thought, well, we're always gonna find something to talk about. So yeah, let's do it. And I think it's time that we educated people, <laugh> what it's like to be from the Baby Boomer era.
Dave Lalor (00:54):
Yeah. Absolutely. Because it's so different now. Isn't? I mean, Christ, my kids can't get over it, how did you cope without a phone?
Jon Rhodes (01:04):
Yeah, that's it. You know, ring me at half seven on local telephone box.
Dave Lalor (01:09):
Or, going out of a weekend. Well, they'll be in that pub by this time.
Jon Rhodes (01:14):
You knew where you were <laugh>. No texting, no messaging, no nothing. And what I find disappointing now is you can't tie people in the mobile phone in the good old days, a telephone box. You got a bit of rope <laugh> and whoever were in it, you tied them in. Well, we did in Eccleshill though. I don’t know where it was and where you was.
Dave Lalor (01:32):
Tied them in with that lovely aroma that was in there.
Jon Rhodes (01:36):
Yeah the odor of Yorkshire
Dave Lalor (01:41):
I think like just these things here, you see, if you want to see......
Jon Rhodes (01:47):
<Laugh>
Dave Lalor (01:48):
Miss that if you want to see..
Jon Rhodes (01:51):
<Laugh>.
Dave Lalor (01:52):
But yeah, actually there's just one thing I think maybe we should cover first, for listeners across the pond and what have you. Just talking a lot of cobblers and it's a lot of old cobblers and all that. It's a very British thing. I probably think it's, you know, something to do with mending shoes. So the expression in Britain that you're talking a lot of old cobblers, do you know where it actually came from?
Jon Rhodes (02:17):
I think it came from a cobbled backstreet down in Birmingham somewhere.
Dave Lalor (02:22):
It was Cockney rhyme in slang.
Jon Rhodes (02:23):
Oh, right. Cockney rhyme in slang for?
Dave Lalor (02:30):
Well, funnily enough, it sort of became accepted and people would, but if they didn't realize what the original cockney rhyming slang was, they probably wouldn't have used it because like a lot of cockney rhyming, they end up dropping off the word that rhymes. So you know like they say apples and pears?
Jon Rhodes (02:47):
Yeah.
Dave Lalor (02:48):
But they end up saying, ah, just nip up the apples. And they don't even bother with pears. Well, that was the same it were cobblers A-W-L-S. Which are the spikey things that put holes in leather.
Jon Rhodes (03:03):
Oh, not like you're talking a lot of...
Dave Lalor (03:05):
That's what it was. We were talking lot of cobblers awls
Jon Rhodes (03:09):
Oh, right. And it became cobblers.
Dave Lalor (03:11):
And it got dropped to cobblers and then it, people, you know....
Jon Rhodes (03:15):
I didn't know that, Dave. Thanks for that. See you. You've done your job tonight. I've been educated while I've been here.
Dave Lalor (03:21):
Thanks very much and goodnight.
Jon Rhodes (03:23):
Yeah. And that's it from me .. well, speaking of cobblers and apples and pears and going up the stairs. When you were a kid, what did your mum and dad used to say to you when it were time to go outside and don't say you lived in a bungalow. No, you didn't.
Dave Lalor (03:37):
Time to go to bed. Why did you, you were saying your mum and dad had a saying?.
Jon Rhodes (03:43):
Yeht they'd say right. It's time to get up dancers.
Dave Lalor (03:45):
Oh, dancers. Yeah. Up dancers. Yeah, I've heard that.
Jon Rhodes (03:50):
Did you have a bedroom?
Dave Lalor (03:50):
Did I have a bedroom?
Jon Rhodes (03:52):
Yeah, I remember you one at Queensbury.
Dave Lalor (03:54):
Yes. We did have a bedroom. I mean, I know we weren't Irish immigrants and all that, but we did <laugh>. We did actually have bedrooms. <Laugh>.
Jon Rhodes (04:03):
I used to love having tea at your house. What’s it tonight, Potatoes?
Dave Lalor (04:07):
<Laugh>.
Jon Rhodes (04:08):
700 varieties of potatoes.
Dave Lalor (04:10):
That's right. meat and three veg every night. That's the deal. Four on a Sunday <laugh>. So we put out on the socials various things people want to talk about and we certainly got some answers. That's for sure. What takes you fancy?
Jon Rhodes (04:27):
The one that intrigues me is from a friend of ours. Mike Padden. Just on a note. Congratulations, Mike on your 10 years of being cancer free, that is some, well done there, mate. You've hung in well, and it's about the price of orange juice. And does he think it's too cheap?
Dave Lalor (04:44):
I was like, I didn't know that were a thing or a subject or like, what the hell's he on about? Then I Googled it and apparently it's going through the roof. Because of spoiled crops and storms, they're blaming it on climate change.
Jon Rhodes (04:59):
It must be certain people. Because I was speaking to a local counselor of ours from about a different matter on Saturday afternoon. And I mentioned about this podcast and he had no idea what the hell I was on about, but he said he was gonna listen to it. So Joe Wheatley, I hope you're gonna listen to this. And again, you did ask and said, don't get me started on the price of orange juice. And at that point I didn't. And we've hung up <laugh>. So <laugh>, you know, please if you can, when you hear this Joe, just email in and let us know your complete thoughts. I did ask him about, well, I said, you know, are the Beatles overrated? Then my god! Yeah. 10 minutes. He was on the phone to me about there were his bands from the fifties and there were all this stuff and they were the boy bands and ah, he certainly had an opinion about that one.
Dave Lalor (05:44):
Yeah. Well, let's be fair. This was your topic, wasn't it?
Jon Rhodes (05:47):
Yes, it was. Yeah.
Dave Lalor (05:49):
And I were like, what the hell is he talking about and I’m very much same vibe as him, your counselor buddy. They changed the face of music.
Jon Rhodes (05:59):
Well, yeah. I mean, you know, <laugh>,
Dave Lalor (06:00):
Yeah I can see like, yeah, you agree with that
Jon Rhodes (06:02):
People like Slim Whitman and there were all these others going on. They’re singing about, we all go, you know, you have a submarine and I love you. Do I love me? Do da. I mean it's all bloody sh*te really.
Dave Lalor (06:14):
But then you see, then you had the Rolling Stones. Now the Stones first album were all covers and they never wrote any of their own stuff. All the thing that were hyped up are the Beatles and the stones, blah blah. Lenon and McCarney gave them one of their songs to get them going. I want to be Your Man. Lenon McCarney wrote that and gave it to Stones and that were the first song that The Stones did that wasn’t a cover.
Jon Rhodes (06:42):
Right. Well, yeah, that's fair enough. That was very magnanimous to give them that. I've never heard the stones sing it like, did they record it?
Dave Lalor (06:50):
Yeah!
Jon Rhodes (06:53):
But yeah, so please let us know what you think about The Beatles. I may be wrong.
Dave Lalor (06:58):
You are.
Jon Rhodes (06:59):
And my friend here Dave says, I am, but I don't think I am. Please let us know your feelings on, are The Beatles overrated?
Dave Lalor (07:07):
Yeah. Okay. So yeah, maybe we'll get some feedback, maybe it's something we can come back to when people leave us some comments on the socials and email. All the handles for all the socials are @ Cobblers podcast. So whether you're on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube they're all @ cobblers podcast. Or you can email us at completecobblers@gmail.com. The one that I put on there is are our phones listening?. .And what are your thoughts on that?
Jon Rhodes (07:38):
Well, I've gotta say yes. Now, yesterday I was in the swimming pool and I was in the corner hanging by me arms to try and give me back a bit of rest. Because I've got compressed discs. Don't worry about that. There's many more things wrong with me. And that's one for today. And I was hanging there, I thought, I wonder if anybody sells immersion tanks where you can. Because it was really comfy when you're just hanging and gravity free and all your back's just hanging down. So I'm thinking as I were driving home, I wonder if can get like an immersion tank from somewhere. And then low and behold, I get home and I'm thinking about it, talking to myself and goes on my phone and on Amazon all of a sudden pops up these ice bath tanks. And I'm just thinking, where the hell from just me thinking this, am I now getting adverts? Because I then Googled, I was thinking, I'm a cheapskate. I thought I can’t afford the 10 grand that these ice baths are. I wonder if we could make one out a garden water butt. You know, the big butts because it needs to be about, I think 1.4 meters or 1.5 meters just under me armpits.
Dave Lalor (08:36):
Well, I've got a water butt if you want to give it a try.
Jon Rhodes (08:38):
Well, we could save it actually, can we leave it a couple of weeks? ‘til it's a bit warmer.
Dave Lalor (08:42):
But you must have mentioned it, said something to yourself, said something out loud.
Jon Rhodes (08:47):
That's probably it, that's what I'm thinking. I may have said.
Dave Lalor (08:49):
Right. And then we have, Mel came up with the absolute theories of all theories, conspiracy theories, so last week her phone, she got one of these flip, Samsung flip phones and the contract was ending. So I was saying to her, what you gonna do? Get a new phone? She said, no, no, I'm just gonna get a sim only deal and put it in this this phone and when she got up in the morning the phone were dead. That is proper conspiracy. But that's exactly what happened. The phone wouldn't turn on in the morning.
Jon Rhodes (09:23):
Had it run out of battery or anything?
Dave Lalor (09:25):
No, no. The screen were all buggered when it came on. No, it just died. So that's your ultimate conspiracy theory there, it's listening to you and killing itself. But yeah, no, they're definitely, I mean if you think about like all the Alexas, like I've got the Google version. Well it's like. You know, you have the action words to liven them up, don't you? So it has to be listening and then they're selling you data on probably have, you've never read, you know, Facebook, whatever it is, and it says, agreed to terms and conditions, and there's about 14 pages long … no. But like, you know if you're on a website and fill in a form and it says, are you a robot? And you know, the ones where it says click all the motorbikes or click everything, that's a traffic light or loads a lot of pictures it says. So yeah, they are using it to determine that you're not a robot. Do you know what they're doing with that data? They're selling it to the likes of Tesla and its training driverless cars. So that's a headlight. That's a headlight. That's a car. That's a motorbike. And they take all that data from everybody who's doing it. They'll think it's just about, you know? And they're selling it off.
Jon Rhodes (10:34):
Well, yeah. I mean I was on phone to my beloved Lindsay last night and my watch said to me, sorry, I didn't quite get that, that this is what I found on the web. And I'm like, what the hell? So yeah, it was obviously my watch was listening to our conversation. And I must have said whatever word it is. So Yeah. I can well believe that there's something going on with it.
Dave Lalor (10:55):
I’m in no doubt whatsoever.
Jon Rhodes (10:56):
Well, I think we need people to email in, or message us or whatever they can do. Send us a postcard. Anything you want, just do it.
Dave Lalor (11:04):
Send us a postcard!
Jon Rhodes (11:06):
Yeah. It's okay. We don't mind any way.
Dave Lalor (11:08):
So Mike, in Mike's little list of things, he had the orange juice, but he also had the rapid demise of spelling, punctuation and grammar.
Jon Rhodes (11:17):
Without any commas.
Dave Lalor (11:19):
Listing commas, <laugh>.
Jon Rhodes (11:22):
Well, spelling just does my head in.
Dave Lalor (11:24):
You know, when you look at some posts and they do things like they say OF when the mean have. Oh I would've OF!
Jon Rhodes (11:33):
I think people rely too much on spell checker and all that. I mean, as you know, in the English language, you can have one word that means 10 different things.
Dave Lalor (11:40):
Absolutely. But yeah. And just grammar too, using the wrong theres.
Jon Rhodes (11:44):
Their, there, apostrophes. I know people get a bit pedantic and a bit over top about apostrophes, whether it's his, theirs, S is at the end and apostrophe, I can't even remember all rules with it. But you know, when somebody goes, ah, you spent 10 grand on signage for your building, you've got apostrophe in the wrong place. You think, who did these signs? They do it on a daily basis.
Dave Lalor (12:06):
Greengrocers.
Jon Rhodes (12:07):
Yeah. Yeah.
Dave Lalor (12:08):
Potatoes with an apostrophe at the end.
Jon Rhodes (12:10):
I mean, I've forgotten whether it was Donny Market or Bradford Market, where the one guy who used to deliberately misspell everything.
Dave Lalor (12:16):
Just to say.
Jon Rhodes (12:17):
So people would go in and while they were there, used to sell him some cabbage or cauliflower or something. But yeah, Mike, you've got a very good point there. And I must admit, I did reply back to Mike and said the word like in conversations, does my head in, when you're on a train and there's two not of our age because we don't like anything at our age. And you get these two, say late teens, mid twenties. Like, and I said like, and this this like and that like, and you know what, like, and I counted once in the conversation of two minutes and one woman used it 32 times in the two minute conversation.
Dave Lalor (12:51):
But also, which is not but grammar. But while we're on the Victor Meldrew getting pissed off what people say. So the millennials calling each of the bro like from, you know, the hood. And it yes bro. And the more that you've got an accent, broad Yorkshire of bloody and bloody Geordie you sound even more stupid, Well wye aye now, and then, bro, <laugh>, you are not a black American. Shut the f**k up.
Jon Rhodes (13:25):
Yeah, yeah. Funny. I went in Sauna this afternoon and there was a guy in there and I wanted to talk to him because he was swimming and he got a swimming paddle in front of him. So I think probably mid-thirties. I thought he's learning to swim. And as I walked in Sauna he were laid down. So he got up like, and he got his pants on by the way. Not for long!, yeah I soon had them off him.
Jon Rhodes (13:52):
I don't know why that was. But anyhow, so yeah. Anyway I say, how's it going? I'm alright mate. And that was that, he didn't speak to me again. <Laugh>. So we spent 10 minutes in there. I'm like, and luckily me watch because I've forgotten to turn off me how long I'd swum, it said, you know, do you wanna end this swimming? Because you either drowned or the sumats gone wrong. So I went, oh, it's time for me to go and got out because it was getting awkward to be fair, you know you normally get engaged in some conversation.
Dave Lalor (14:16):
Yeah. He say hello to somebody and generally. Were he from down south?
Jon Rhodes (14:20):
I didn't quite get him get where we were from. Because we didn't have enough conversation. Normally you can pick somebody up with the first few worst, can't you?
Dave Lalor (14:27):
Well, you know, when we used to live in Milton Keynes and if you wandered down the street, you said hello to someone, they’d like be ringing the police.
Jon Rhodes (14:36):
Well would you actually like to tell people how we ended up in Milton Keynes Dave?
Dave Lalor (14:39):
Well, as I remember, I think we were both jobless at the time. I'd been sacked and you'd been sacked. Isn't that about right?
Jon Rhodes (14:48):
Something along those lines.
Dave Lalor (14:50):
Maybe they didn't need to know all that detail.
Jon Rhodes (14:52):
Yeah, yeah.
Dave Lalor (14:53):
So we were watching TV so pre-internet and some like BBC 2 type program that said there was a hundred percent employment in Milton Keynes.
Jon Rhodes (15:05):
That's exactly right.
Dave Lalor (15:06):
0% unemployment.
Jon Rhodes (15:11):
I think it was Sunday night, wasn't it? Something like that.
Dave Lalor (15:13):
And very much like when I said, why don't we start a podcast? Like I said, why don't we go there? You're like, yeah, okay. So we flogged everything.
Jon Rhodes (15:23):
In the house we rented.
Dave Lalor (15:24):
Well we tried to flog you know, better stuff for as much money as we could get. And then we got some dodgy bugger over from shop over the road, like a second hand shop - house clearance. Gave us what .. £150? <laugh> for everything that were left and off we went.
Jon Rhodes (15:43):
We loaded up what we got into a white escort estate, I believe it was.
Dave Lalor (15:47):
white escort estate, yes
Jon Rhodes (15:48):
And we headed off down to Milton Keynes.
Dave Lalor (15:51):
Yeah. In fact, when I got the job, can you remember that first night in that hotel we was both kinda sat there with a finite amount of money left and though what the hell have we done?!. And then I looked for a job that I were qualified for, alarm engineer, in the local paper and there was one. And I rang it and it went you know berrr, not a number. So I got the Yellow pages out, found the company.
Jon Rhodes (16:19):
We'll come back to what the Yellow pages is.
Dave Lalor (16:21):
And I looked it up, you know, I found the company and it were one digit out, so it was obviously an error. So I rung them and the guy said, oh, that's strange, we've been told it's been printed with the wrong phone number. And I were like, well, yeah, it has, but it's not rocket science, is it like? And they went, oh, well you better come in and have an interview. And no idea really where we were going. I parked on this side street and when I got in for the interview, it was quite off-putting because my car was behind him in the window. But it turned out to be a blessing because he said, the only thing that's stopping me giving you the job now is that, you know, if you decide after a few weeks, it would've been on a whim and you want to go back home, that were the only thing stopping him. And I said, well, if you look over your shoulder, and we had all toes duvets and a telly. And I went, that is my home. And he went, oh well welcome to the company.
Jon Rhodes (17:21):
I think you took me up to the service area. And I said, oh, I've got an interview now up at Newport Pagnell service area. And I came out and you went, well how did it go? I said, I've got job. When do you start … six o'clock? It was about four o'clock in the afternoon. We hadn't even got anywhere to sleep! but yeah. Anyhow, that's a little bit more about us. Things we've got up to in the past.
Dave Lalor (17:40):
And you know, that kind of thing where we, it's a recurring theme. I think either you or may come up with a stupid idea and other one says, yeah, let’s do itt. You see them two up there look. A lot like that. Really?
Jon Rhodes (17:53):
Yeah. Stan and Olly <laugh>.
Dave Lalor (17:54):
Well, they used to have a recurring theme that they did in all the films. Just a formula. So the formula was that Olly would say something totally out of all character. Olly would say something quite clever and intelligent and Stan would look and oh no, Stan would say it and then all they would look and he'd say, say that again. When he repeats it, it would be complete bollocks
Dave Lalor (18:19):
And then he'd go, that's a great idea, <laugh>. And they just did it in every, so there's one that, it's called Towed in the Holel where they're fishing, they hire a boat and they go out fishing, get fish and all that. And they come back and they pay the guy for the boat. And then they go and try and sell the fish to make a bit of money. And while they're like prepping the fish, Stan says, you know what we should do? We should save up the money, buy our own boat. Then we cut out the middleman and all the profit would come to us. So Olly says, say that again and he says, well if we bought a fish and we cut out the middle boat <laugh> and it goes on like that, then he goes, that's a great idea. <Laugh>. That reminds me of me and you.
Jon Rhodes (19:04):
Yeah, yeah. It is a bit. I'm not sure thorough whose who oak - one's thin and one's fat.
Dave Lalor (19:08):
Well yeah, but they're both idiots.
Jon Rhodes (19:10):
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But do you know that in Bradford there was a Laurel and Hardy Appreciation club?
Dave Lalor (19:14):
I joined it
Jon Rhodes (19:15):
My brother-In-Law and a few other lads from Wrose FC used to go and they obviously got dressed up.
Dave Lalor (19:21):
Yeah, yeah. Well you wore a Fez. You get a Fez and it says Sons of the Desert on it. And people always mistake that. They think that is about, you know, the film where they're in the foreign legion and all that.
Jon Rhodes (19:35):
Alright.
Dave Lalor (19:35):
It's nothing to do with that. Sons of the Desert was like a man's club, a fraternity. Oh, right. So blokes club, no women allowed, and Sons of the desert and you have to wear a fez and a sash. Right? And it's that film, the Sons of the Desert. So every Laurel and Hardy appreciation society is called Sons of the Desert. And because it's like on the desert theme and all that, they don't call them a branch, they call them a tent. So everyone is named after a film. So name of a film, something Tent Bradford. So ours was, the Bradford one, was County Hospital Tent Bradford.
Jon Rhodes (20:15):
I think it's now time. I haven't mentioned this to you, but I think I'd like to tell you a joke now, Dave. Obviously you can edit it later.
Dave Lalor (20:22):
Hang on, <laugh>
Jon Rhodes (20:26):
So anyhow, this bloke is sentenced to death. So he goes into jail and it's one of these places in America where they're in there for a long time. So he goes in all nervous, I'm gonna be in some real bother here. So he is in this cell with his bloke. And first night it goes, deathly quiet. And all of a sudden somebody shouts out a number, a hundred twenty two. And he looks at this at this bloke and the bloke starts laughing and he's like, ah, <laugh>, Wonder if that's a code that I'm gonna get, when I go to the shower. Next night. Another bloke, 147. Ah, they all start laughing, they're all laughing down all the aisles. He thinks, oh God, what they gonna do with me? So this goes on for a couple of weeks and he, every night somebody's shouting out, then finally he braves up. And he says to this guy, says you know, every night when somebody shouts that number out, he says, what does it mean? He says, well, they're all jokes that we know. He said, we're up to 250 now. He says, but there's no point in telling them because we know them all. So we just shout the number out now. So he's like, oh, all right. He said, that seems like a right good idea. So one night he decides nobody's doing it, and the guy looks and says, I think it might be your turn. He said, you've gotta do it now. He's like, I don't really know, 284! And everybody starts cracking and they're all laughing down aisles and everything. 20 minutes they were laughing and the bloke says, why? He said, why would everybody be laughing like that? for so long about that? He said, oh, we've never heard that one before.
Dave Lalor (21:41):
<Laugh>
Jon Rhodes (21:44):
You may not hear that.
Dave Lalor (21:45):
Okay, well, so I guess I'll have to respond. <Laugh>. My favorite joke is much shorter.
Jon Rhodes (21:56):
I cut that one down.
Dave Lalor (21:57):
Yeah. So two monkeys in a bath. You heard that?
Jon Rhodes (22:01):
Two monkeys in a bath. No, I never.
Dave Lalor (22:04):
Two monkeys in a bath and one says, another one says oooh, ooh, ooh and the other says well put some f**n cold in then! <laugh>
Jon Rhodes (22:21):
We only wanna give you one joke. I think what we should do is, you vote to who does the next joke?
Dave Lalor (22:30):
Yeah.
Jon Rhodes (22:30):
So send in, did you like the joke? Dave's joke better than mine if you did, Dave, if not, Jon, or if you didn't like either, just say no jokes, please. It's up to you.
Dave Lalor (22:38):
We probably won't listen to you.
Jon Rhodes (22:43):
Send us a good joke in and we may actually do it and you may be mentioned.
Dave Lalor (22:48):
Okay. So look at this little list then. Oh, I'll tell you what, did you wanna, in memory of good old Steve, Wright, should we do some factoids? Should we have factoid music?
Jon Rhodes (23:01):
Yeah.
Jon Rhodes (23:08):
The longest word without a vowel is rhythms.
Dave Lalor (23:12):
Did you know that the ancient Romans used urine as a cleaning agent?
Jon Rhodes (23:16):
You're taking the..
Dave Lalor (23:16):
Yeah, indeed.
Jon Rhodes (23:20):
A little bit like yourself. The Eiffel Tower can be 15 centimeters taller during the summer due to the expansion of the iron.
Dave Lalor (23:27):
I'm not sure it's, you can be 15 centimeters, you go a bit of Top there. <Laugh> The shortest war in history was between Britain and Zanzibar on August the 27th 1896 Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes.
Jon Rhodes (23:42):
That was some war. A shame a lot more don’t finish that quick.
A group of flamingos is called a flamboyance.
Dave Lalor (23:52):
I like this one. The inventor of the Frisbee was turned in with Frisbee.
Jon Rhodes (23:55):
I was quite gonna do that one next.
Dave Lalor (23:57):
<Laugh>
Jon Rhodes (23:59):
Octopuses. Is it not Octopi?
Dave Lalor (24:01):
I think you can do both. I think both are acceptable.
Jon Rhodes (24:05):
Mike Padden, Could you comment on that please? Octopi have three hearts, two pump blood to the gills. While the third pumps it to the rest of the body.
Dave Lalor (24:14):
Cows have best friends and they can become stressed when they're separated.
Jon Rhodes (24:19):
Honey never spoils. Archeologists have found pots of honey in ancient Egyptian tombs that are over 3000 years old and still in date. Oh no. Still perfectly edible. <Laugh>
Dave Lalor (24:33):
Egyptian hieroglyphics
Jon Rhodes (24:34):
Yeah. Yeah.
Dave Lalor (24:38):
Yeah. The tomb robbers didn't Nick the .......... honey then?
Jon Rhodes (24:41):
No, obviously not know.
Dave Lalor (24:43):
Did you know thatTutankhamun wasn't born Tutankhamun?
Jon Rhodes (24:51):
No, I didn't know that.
Dave Lalor (24:52):
Yeah. His father's, what the hell did he call his father now? Anyway, his father, the pharaoh before him were a bit of a nutter and he kicked out all the religious Gods because they had quite a lot of different Gods and they had done for hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of years. And he said, no, there's only this one sun god now. So when he died unexpectedly Tutankhamun were only nine. So say that all the advisors got around him and said, you need to bring back the other gods and da, da da. So he kind of rejected his fathers name and he took on the name Amun, which was one of the old gods.
Jon Rhodes (25:29):
Oh, right. And that's brings a good point actually, Dave. I've just had another grandson. Thank you, Stephen and Hannah, a little boy. And they've named him Max. And I thought, oh, is it after Maximus or Maximilian?
Dave Lalor (25:41):
Headroom?
Jon Rhodes (25:42):
No, no, not even that. <Laugh> Max Headroom. Yeah. <Laugh>. Oh God. That man used to make me laugh. Quite a few lads at school looked like him. And no, it's Maxwell. “House?” So I said, well this is, I don’t know whether I haven't told him yet that there was a coffee named that, but <laugh>, I mean, if he'd have said Nescafe, I might have mentioned it then. And I said, is it after Maximus? you know, from Maximus Aurelius, I am the murderer of a da da da da. And what do you think about the names that adults today are giving their children? Have you, you know, having my other grandson, he is called Arthur. And Arthur and Maxwell. They're lovely little boys and....
Dave Lalor (26:17):
And quite traditional names.
Jon Rhodes (26:19):
Yeah. And yeah, I'm just surprised at what names some people come up with now.
Dave Lalor (26:22):
Well, they’d struggle, you know, as me and you being lapsed Catholics and all that. They used to have to be a saint, didn't they? When you were baptized they would say, saint so and so pray for him.
Jon Rhodes (26:36):
Oh, right. Yeah. So.......
Dave Lalor (26:39):
You know, the priest would struggle with Saint Kylie. Pray for him.
Jon Rhodes (26:46):
So your name this child Menogwin. <Laugh>.
Dave Lalor (26:49):
<Laugh>. Yeah. after Saint Menogwin .. obviously
Jon Rhodes (26:53):
I once ask me mum, I said, you know this Jonathan, I hate it. I mean look at Ronald Reagan. He were named after president.
Dave Lalor (26:59):
He was a president! <Laugh>, I know he were you pillock! <laugh>. He'd have been better off staying as an actor.
Dave Lalor (27:08):
<Laugh>.
Jon Rhodes (27:08):
And then there were, what's his name? Wrestler. What’s he called.......
Dave Lalor (27:11):
A Wrestler who became an American president?
Jon Rhodes (27:13):
No, not an American president.
Jon Rhodes (27:15):
Oh, what’s his name?
Dave Lalor (27:16):
Oh, Shirley.
Jon Rhodes (27:17):
Yeah. Big daddy were it.
Dave Lalor (27:20):
Shirley Crabtree. I nearly said Valentine.
Jon Rhodes (27:23):
I nearly said Valentine as well.
Dave Lalor (27:25):
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No big daddy was she called Shirley, I suppose. Like, you know like that song that Johnny Cash son a boy named Sue? Gave him a ridiculous name so he could <laugh> maybe Shirley Crabtree were like that too. So talk about his name and he’ll knock you out <laugh>.
Right? Where do you wanna go now?
Jon Rhodes (27:45):
What I'd like to do is, I think that there's thousands of people across this country who do a little bit in their own areas that do good and you don't, not the big guys, they do well, Age Concern and Sense and all these other massive charities. They've got the charity shops. There's little groups out there doing work in your local communities, whether they be food banks, whether they be this, be that and the other. And I'd like once a week for us to give a shout out to a local charity and we want for you send it into us, you know, name your charity, tell us what they do and we'll give them a quick shout out. Because they deserve it. You know, they're unpaid. The volunteers are going out there. And I would particularly like to start it off this week, and I would like to mention that in Bingley we have a beautiful park called Myrtle Park.
Jon Rhodes (28:28):
And there is a charity who have a little hub in there and every week they go out and do a bit of gardening around the place. It's called Friends of Myrtle Park FOMP for short. And they do great work. They're just setting out, doing the sunken garden in the area now. So if you're from that around the area, call down in the park and if you see somebody bent down with a high-vis on weeding, they’re volunteers. They get a lot of help from the council and the ground stuff around there. But these are charitable people just making our life a little bit better for us. So I'd like to give them a big clap. Have we got a clap on here, Dave?
Dave Lalor (29:01):
Yeah, we have somewhere.
Jon Rhodes (29:06):
If you think of anybody next week, Dave will mention one and we'll just keep on.
Dave Lalor (29:10):
Well what I was gonna say is have they got, have they got a Facebook page or something?
Jon Rhodes (29:15):
Yeah, they've got a Facebook page.
Dave Lalor (29:17):
Because what we can do is we can put a link in the show notes.
Jon Rhodes (29:21):
That'd be great. I did ask for permission before I left.
Dave Lalor (29:24):
Okay. We'll put a link down below in the show notes.
Jon Rhodes (29:32):
Go back to the days of when we were just........
Dave Lalor (29:35):
The telly pub hunt?
Jon Rhodes (29:36):
Well yes, I think you know what it was about People might not know about this if they're from around the other area. I know some people in Australia will remember it. Well, but there was Tetleys, it's a local Leeds brewery and they started this thing called the Tetley] Pub Hunt where it came out and I think it were 20 pubs you had to do.
Dave Lalor (29:54):
Something like that. And so you got a stamp.
Jon Rhodes (29:58):
For a pint.
Dave Lalor (29:59):
For a pint, but you had to have different pubs. So it got you going around all the different Tetley pubs.
Jon Rhodes (30:04):
Great idea. And that would be before responsible drinking. So you could actually do it in one night if you were ambitious, <laugh> or you could share a card between two or three. But we thought that'd be cheating. So we did try to aim to do it in one night, two nights if you couldn't afford to do it in one night. So yeah, you went down with this card and you went in the pubs and you got stamped and 20 pubs later you got the T-shirt sent through the post.
Dave Lalor (30:27):
And then they'd, it were that successful, they run it again the next year and then you get a different T-shirt.
Dave Lalor (30:32):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And you know, we've all got our own little stories to tell - you certainly have! But maybe we'll tee that up for next week, do you think?
Jon Rhodes (30:41):
Yeah, yeah, yeah. We can do that. It’s coming up to, you know, three years ago, this next month. I pretty much died. But you know, that's the story that I'm happy to tell. And I'm not a voice from <laugh> above or below. I am here and I'm happy to share my story and hopefully it might help some people as well.
Dave Lalor (31:05):
Yeah, absolutely. We'll give that a good section of its own next time.
Jon Rhodes (31:10):
Over next few weeks, I'll share insights some of the hospitality that I did up at Harewood House and some various service areas that I worked on and being mistaken for Rick Astley by a load of liverpudlian fans, but that's, you know, that's for next. I can't give you it all tonight. Otherwise you won't come back. You might not come back.
Dave Lalor (31:30):
And were their guide dogs Alright?
Jon Rhodes (31:36):
Yeah, yeah.
Jon Rhodes (31:38):
No, no, no. It was common at the time. And as they left, I just said, look lads, I'm just never gonna give you up.
Dave Lalor (31:46):
Oh, I think on that note, yeah.
Jon Rhodes (31:54):
Good night from him.
Dave Lalor (31:56):
<Laugh>. It's good night from me. Absolutely.
Jon Rhodes (32:01):
Well hopefully you'll hear the good bits and not too many of the bad bits when Dave's finished. We'll look forward to seeing you again next week. Speaking to you next week.
Dave Lalor (32:09):
Yeah. So this will be dropping on Wednesday the 20th of March. So Paddy's day will have just been and gone. So Sláinte to everybody. I hope you had a good St. Patrick's Day.
Jon Rhodes (32:20):
Yeah. Jesus and all that to you. <Laugh>. That's my worst accent ever.
Welcome to the very first episode of the Complete Cobblers podcast with me, Dave Lalor.
Jon Rhodes (00:16):
And me Jon Rhodes.
Dave Lalor (00:17):
If you're looking for a well-researched, highbrow cutting edge podcast, keep looking <laugh>. So we made it. We finally made it.
Jon Rhodes (00:26):
Yeah.
Dave Lalor (00:26):
When I came up with this crazy idea, took you all of about 20 seconds to reply and say, yeah, go on.
Jon Rhodes (00:33):
Well, when I first saw it Dave, I just thought, you know what? I've seen you only a few weeks before, and we ended up talking for three hours and that were after about 10 years of not seeing each other. So I thought, well, we're always gonna find something to talk about. So yeah, let's do it. And I think it's time that we educated people, <laugh> what it's like to be from the Baby Boomer era.
Dave Lalor (00:54):
Yeah. Absolutely. Because it's so different now. Isn't? I mean, Christ, my kids can't get over it, how did you cope without a phone?
Jon Rhodes (01:04):
Yeah, that's it. You know, ring me at half seven on local telephone box.
Dave Lalor (01:09):
Or, going out of a weekend. Well, they'll be in that pub by this time.
Jon Rhodes (01:14):
You knew where you were <laugh>. No texting, no messaging, no nothing. And what I find disappointing now is you can't tie people in the mobile phone in the good old days, a telephone box. You got a bit of rope <laugh> and whoever were in it, you tied them in. Well, we did in Eccleshill though. I don’t know where it was and where you was.
Dave Lalor (01:32):
Tied them in with that lovely aroma that was in there.
Jon Rhodes (01:36):
Yeah the odor of Yorkshire
Dave Lalor (01:41):
I think like just these things here, you see, if you want to see......
Jon Rhodes (01:47):
<Laugh>
Dave Lalor (01:48):
Miss that if you want to see..
Jon Rhodes (01:51):
<Laugh>.
Dave Lalor (01:52):
But yeah, actually there's just one thing I think maybe we should cover first, for listeners across the pond and what have you. Just talking a lot of cobblers and it's a lot of old cobblers and all that. It's a very British thing. I probably think it's, you know, something to do with mending shoes. So the expression in Britain that you're talking a lot of old cobblers, do you know where it actually came from?
Jon Rhodes (02:17):
I think it came from a cobbled backstreet down in Birmingham somewhere.
Dave Lalor (02:22):
It was Cockney rhyme in slang.
Jon Rhodes (02:23):
Oh, right. Cockney rhyme in slang for?
Dave Lalor (02:30):
Well, funnily enough, it sort of became accepted and people would, but if they didn't realize what the original cockney rhyming slang was, they probably wouldn't have used it because like a lot of cockney rhyming, they end up dropping off the word that rhymes. So you know like they say apples and pears?
Jon Rhodes (02:47):
Yeah.
Dave Lalor (02:48):
But they end up saying, ah, just nip up the apples. And they don't even bother with pears. Well, that was the same it were cobblers A-W-L-S. Which are the spikey things that put holes in leather.
Jon Rhodes (03:03):
Oh, not like you're talking a lot of...
Dave Lalor (03:05):
That's what it was. We were talking lot of cobblers awls
Jon Rhodes (03:09):
Oh, right. And it became cobblers.
Dave Lalor (03:11):
And it got dropped to cobblers and then it, people, you know....
Jon Rhodes (03:15):
I didn't know that, Dave. Thanks for that. See you. You've done your job tonight. I've been educated while I've been here.
Dave Lalor (03:21):
Thanks very much and goodnight.
Jon Rhodes (03:23):
Yeah. And that's it from me .. well, speaking of cobblers and apples and pears and going up the stairs. When you were a kid, what did your mum and dad used to say to you when it were time to go outside and don't say you lived in a bungalow. No, you didn't.
Dave Lalor (03:37):
Time to go to bed. Why did you, you were saying your mum and dad had a saying?.
Jon Rhodes (03:43):
Yeht they'd say right. It's time to get up dancers.
Dave Lalor (03:45):
Oh, dancers. Yeah. Up dancers. Yeah, I've heard that.
Jon Rhodes (03:50):
Did you have a bedroom?
Dave Lalor (03:50):
Did I have a bedroom?
Jon Rhodes (03:52):
Yeah, I remember you one at Queensbury.
Dave Lalor (03:54):
Yes. We did have a bedroom. I mean, I know we weren't Irish immigrants and all that, but we did <laugh>. We did actually have bedrooms. <Laugh>.
Jon Rhodes (04:03):
I used to love having tea at your house. What’s it tonight, Potatoes?
Dave Lalor (04:07):
<Laugh>.
Jon Rhodes (04:08):
700 varieties of potatoes.
Dave Lalor (04:10):
That's right. meat and three veg every night. That's the deal. Four on a Sunday <laugh>. So we put out on the socials various things people want to talk about and we certainly got some answers. That's for sure. What takes you fancy?
Jon Rhodes (04:27):
The one that intrigues me is from a friend of ours. Mike Padden. Just on a note. Congratulations, Mike on your 10 years of being cancer free, that is some, well done there, mate. You've hung in well, and it's about the price of orange juice. And does he think it's too cheap?
Dave Lalor (04:44):
I was like, I didn't know that were a thing or a subject or like, what the hell's he on about? Then I Googled it and apparently it's going through the roof. Because of spoiled crops and storms, they're blaming it on climate change.
Jon Rhodes (04:59):
It must be certain people. Because I was speaking to a local counselor of ours from about a different matter on Saturday afternoon. And I mentioned about this podcast and he had no idea what the hell I was on about, but he said he was gonna listen to it. So Joe Wheatley, I hope you're gonna listen to this. And again, you did ask and said, don't get me started on the price of orange juice. And at that point I didn't. And we've hung up <laugh>. So <laugh>, you know, please if you can, when you hear this Joe, just email in and let us know your complete thoughts. I did ask him about, well, I said, you know, are the Beatles overrated? Then my god! Yeah. 10 minutes. He was on the phone to me about there were his bands from the fifties and there were all this stuff and they were the boy bands and ah, he certainly had an opinion about that one.
Dave Lalor (05:44):
Yeah. Well, let's be fair. This was your topic, wasn't it?
Jon Rhodes (05:47):
Yes, it was. Yeah.
Dave Lalor (05:49):
And I were like, what the hell is he talking about and I’m very much same vibe as him, your counselor buddy. They changed the face of music.
Jon Rhodes (05:59):
Well, yeah. I mean, you know, <laugh>,
Dave Lalor (06:00):
Yeah I can see like, yeah, you agree with that
Jon Rhodes (06:02):
People like Slim Whitman and there were all these others going on. They’re singing about, we all go, you know, you have a submarine and I love you. Do I love me? Do da. I mean it's all bloody sh*te really.
Dave Lalor (06:14):
But then you see, then you had the Rolling Stones. Now the Stones first album were all covers and they never wrote any of their own stuff. All the thing that were hyped up are the Beatles and the stones, blah blah. Lenon and McCarney gave them one of their songs to get them going. I want to be Your Man. Lenon McCarney wrote that and gave it to Stones and that were the first song that The Stones did that wasn’t a cover.
Jon Rhodes (06:42):
Right. Well, yeah, that's fair enough. That was very magnanimous to give them that. I've never heard the stones sing it like, did they record it?
Dave Lalor (06:50):
Yeah!
Jon Rhodes (06:53):
But yeah, so please let us know what you think about The Beatles. I may be wrong.
Dave Lalor (06:58):
You are.
Jon Rhodes (06:59):
And my friend here Dave says, I am, but I don't think I am. Please let us know your feelings on, are The Beatles overrated?
Dave Lalor (07:07):
Yeah. Okay. So yeah, maybe we'll get some feedback, maybe it's something we can come back to when people leave us some comments on the socials and email. All the handles for all the socials are @ Cobblers podcast. So whether you're on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube they're all @ cobblers podcast. Or you can email us at completecobblers@gmail.com. The one that I put on there is are our phones listening?. .And what are your thoughts on that?
Jon Rhodes (07:38):
Well, I've gotta say yes. Now, yesterday I was in the swimming pool and I was in the corner hanging by me arms to try and give me back a bit of rest. Because I've got compressed discs. Don't worry about that. There's many more things wrong with me. And that's one for today. And I was hanging there, I thought, I wonder if anybody sells immersion tanks where you can. Because it was really comfy when you're just hanging and gravity free and all your back's just hanging down. So I'm thinking as I were driving home, I wonder if can get like an immersion tank from somewhere. And then low and behold, I get home and I'm thinking about it, talking to myself and goes on my phone and on Amazon all of a sudden pops up these ice bath tanks. And I'm just thinking, where the hell from just me thinking this, am I now getting adverts? Because I then Googled, I was thinking, I'm a cheapskate. I thought I can’t afford the 10 grand that these ice baths are. I wonder if we could make one out a garden water butt. You know, the big butts because it needs to be about, I think 1.4 meters or 1.5 meters just under me armpits.
Dave Lalor (08:36):
Well, I've got a water butt if you want to give it a try.
Jon Rhodes (08:38):
Well, we could save it actually, can we leave it a couple of weeks? ‘til it's a bit warmer.
Dave Lalor (08:42):
But you must have mentioned it, said something to yourself, said something out loud.
Jon Rhodes (08:47):
That's probably it, that's what I'm thinking. I may have said.
Dave Lalor (08:49):
Right. And then we have, Mel came up with the absolute theories of all theories, conspiracy theories, so last week her phone, she got one of these flip, Samsung flip phones and the contract was ending. So I was saying to her, what you gonna do? Get a new phone? She said, no, no, I'm just gonna get a sim only deal and put it in this this phone and when she got up in the morning the phone were dead. That is proper conspiracy. But that's exactly what happened. The phone wouldn't turn on in the morning.
Jon Rhodes (09:23):
Had it run out of battery or anything?
Dave Lalor (09:25):
No, no. The screen were all buggered when it came on. No, it just died. So that's your ultimate conspiracy theory there, it's listening to you and killing itself. But yeah, no, they're definitely, I mean if you think about like all the Alexas, like I've got the Google version. Well it's like. You know, you have the action words to liven them up, don't you? So it has to be listening and then they're selling you data on probably have, you've never read, you know, Facebook, whatever it is, and it says, agreed to terms and conditions, and there's about 14 pages long … no. But like, you know if you're on a website and fill in a form and it says, are you a robot? And you know, the ones where it says click all the motorbikes or click everything, that's a traffic light or loads a lot of pictures it says. So yeah, they are using it to determine that you're not a robot. Do you know what they're doing with that data? They're selling it to the likes of Tesla and its training driverless cars. So that's a headlight. That's a headlight. That's a car. That's a motorbike. And they take all that data from everybody who's doing it. They'll think it's just about, you know? And they're selling it off.
Jon Rhodes (10:34):
Well, yeah. I mean I was on phone to my beloved Lindsay last night and my watch said to me, sorry, I didn't quite get that, that this is what I found on the web. And I'm like, what the hell? So yeah, it was obviously my watch was listening to our conversation. And I must have said whatever word it is. So Yeah. I can well believe that there's something going on with it.
Dave Lalor (10:55):
I’m in no doubt whatsoever.
Jon Rhodes (10:56):
Well, I think we need people to email in, or message us or whatever they can do. Send us a postcard. Anything you want, just do it.
Dave Lalor (11:04):
Send us a postcard!
Jon Rhodes (11:06):
Yeah. It's okay. We don't mind any way.
Dave Lalor (11:08):
So Mike, in Mike's little list of things, he had the orange juice, but he also had the rapid demise of spelling, punctuation and grammar.
Jon Rhodes (11:17):
Without any commas.
Dave Lalor (11:19):
Listing commas, <laugh>.
Jon Rhodes (11:22):
Well, spelling just does my head in.
Dave Lalor (11:24):
You know, when you look at some posts and they do things like they say OF when the mean have. Oh I would've OF!
Jon Rhodes (11:33):
I think people rely too much on spell checker and all that. I mean, as you know, in the English language, you can have one word that means 10 different things.
Dave Lalor (11:40):
Absolutely. But yeah. And just grammar too, using the wrong theres.
Jon Rhodes (11:44):
Their, there, apostrophes. I know people get a bit pedantic and a bit over top about apostrophes, whether it's his, theirs, S is at the end and apostrophe, I can't even remember all rules with it. But you know, when somebody goes, ah, you spent 10 grand on signage for your building, you've got apostrophe in the wrong place. You think, who did these signs? They do it on a daily basis.
Dave Lalor (12:06):
Greengrocers.
Jon Rhodes (12:07):
Yeah. Yeah.
Dave Lalor (12:08):
Potatoes with an apostrophe at the end.
Jon Rhodes (12:10):
I mean, I've forgotten whether it was Donny Market or Bradford Market, where the one guy who used to deliberately misspell everything.
Dave Lalor (12:16):
Just to say.
Jon Rhodes (12:17):
So people would go in and while they were there, used to sell him some cabbage or cauliflower or something. But yeah, Mike, you've got a very good point there. And I must admit, I did reply back to Mike and said the word like in conversations, does my head in, when you're on a train and there's two not of our age because we don't like anything at our age. And you get these two, say late teens, mid twenties. Like, and I said like, and this this like and that like, and you know what, like, and I counted once in the conversation of two minutes and one woman used it 32 times in the two minute conversation.
Dave Lalor (12:51):
But also, which is not but grammar. But while we're on the Victor Meldrew getting pissed off what people say. So the millennials calling each of the bro like from, you know, the hood. And it yes bro. And the more that you've got an accent, broad Yorkshire of bloody and bloody Geordie you sound even more stupid, Well wye aye now, and then, bro, <laugh>, you are not a black American. Shut the f**k up.
Jon Rhodes (13:25):
Yeah, yeah. Funny. I went in Sauna this afternoon and there was a guy in there and I wanted to talk to him because he was swimming and he got a swimming paddle in front of him. So I think probably mid-thirties. I thought he's learning to swim. And as I walked in Sauna he were laid down. So he got up like, and he got his pants on by the way. Not for long!, yeah I soon had them off him.
Jon Rhodes (13:52):
I don't know why that was. But anyhow, so yeah. Anyway I say, how's it going? I'm alright mate. And that was that, he didn't speak to me again. <Laugh>. So we spent 10 minutes in there. I'm like, and luckily me watch because I've forgotten to turn off me how long I'd swum, it said, you know, do you wanna end this swimming? Because you either drowned or the sumats gone wrong. So I went, oh, it's time for me to go and got out because it was getting awkward to be fair, you know you normally get engaged in some conversation.
Dave Lalor (14:16):
Yeah. He say hello to somebody and generally. Were he from down south?
Jon Rhodes (14:20):
I didn't quite get him get where we were from. Because we didn't have enough conversation. Normally you can pick somebody up with the first few worst, can't you?
Dave Lalor (14:27):
Well, you know, when we used to live in Milton Keynes and if you wandered down the street, you said hello to someone, they’d like be ringing the police.
Jon Rhodes (14:36):
Well would you actually like to tell people how we ended up in Milton Keynes Dave?
Dave Lalor (14:39):
Well, as I remember, I think we were both jobless at the time. I'd been sacked and you'd been sacked. Isn't that about right?
Jon Rhodes (14:48):
Something along those lines.
Dave Lalor (14:50):
Maybe they didn't need to know all that detail.
Jon Rhodes (14:52):
Yeah, yeah.
Dave Lalor (14:53):
So we were watching TV so pre-internet and some like BBC 2 type program that said there was a hundred percent employment in Milton Keynes.
Jon Rhodes (15:05):
That's exactly right.
Dave Lalor (15:06):
0% unemployment.
Jon Rhodes (15:11):
I think it was Sunday night, wasn't it? Something like that.
Dave Lalor (15:13):
And very much like when I said, why don't we start a podcast? Like I said, why don't we go there? You're like, yeah, okay. So we flogged everything.
Jon Rhodes (15:23):
In the house we rented.
Dave Lalor (15:24):
Well we tried to flog you know, better stuff for as much money as we could get. And then we got some dodgy bugger over from shop over the road, like a second hand shop - house clearance. Gave us what .. £150? <laugh> for everything that were left and off we went.
Jon Rhodes (15:43):
We loaded up what we got into a white escort estate, I believe it was.
Dave Lalor (15:47):
white escort estate, yes
Jon Rhodes (15:48):
And we headed off down to Milton Keynes.
Dave Lalor (15:51):
Yeah. In fact, when I got the job, can you remember that first night in that hotel we was both kinda sat there with a finite amount of money left and though what the hell have we done?!. And then I looked for a job that I were qualified for, alarm engineer, in the local paper and there was one. And I rang it and it went you know berrr, not a number. So I got the Yellow pages out, found the company.
Jon Rhodes (16:19):
We'll come back to what the Yellow pages is.
Dave Lalor (16:21):
And I looked it up, you know, I found the company and it were one digit out, so it was obviously an error. So I rung them and the guy said, oh, that's strange, we've been told it's been printed with the wrong phone number. And I were like, well, yeah, it has, but it's not rocket science, is it like? And they went, oh, well you better come in and have an interview. And no idea really where we were going. I parked on this side street and when I got in for the interview, it was quite off-putting because my car was behind him in the window. But it turned out to be a blessing because he said, the only thing that's stopping me giving you the job now is that, you know, if you decide after a few weeks, it would've been on a whim and you want to go back home, that were the only thing stopping him. And I said, well, if you look over your shoulder, and we had all toes duvets and a telly. And I went, that is my home. And he went, oh well welcome to the company.
Jon Rhodes (17:21):
I think you took me up to the service area. And I said, oh, I've got an interview now up at Newport Pagnell service area. And I came out and you went, well how did it go? I said, I've got job. When do you start … six o'clock? It was about four o'clock in the afternoon. We hadn't even got anywhere to sleep! but yeah. Anyhow, that's a little bit more about us. Things we've got up to in the past.
Dave Lalor (17:40):
And you know, that kind of thing where we, it's a recurring theme. I think either you or may come up with a stupid idea and other one says, yeah, let’s do itt. You see them two up there look. A lot like that. Really?
Jon Rhodes (17:53):
Yeah. Stan and Olly <laugh>.
Dave Lalor (17:54):
Well, they used to have a recurring theme that they did in all the films. Just a formula. So the formula was that Olly would say something totally out of all character. Olly would say something quite clever and intelligent and Stan would look and oh no, Stan would say it and then all they would look and he'd say, say that again. When he repeats it, it would be complete bollocks
Dave Lalor (18:19):
And then he'd go, that's a great idea, <laugh>. And they just did it in every, so there's one that, it's called Towed in the Holel where they're fishing, they hire a boat and they go out fishing, get fish and all that. And they come back and they pay the guy for the boat. And then they go and try and sell the fish to make a bit of money. And while they're like prepping the fish, Stan says, you know what we should do? We should save up the money, buy our own boat. Then we cut out the middleman and all the profit would come to us. So Olly says, say that again and he says, well if we bought a fish and we cut out the middle boat <laugh> and it goes on like that, then he goes, that's a great idea. <Laugh>. That reminds me of me and you.
Jon Rhodes (19:04):
Yeah, yeah. It is a bit. I'm not sure thorough whose who oak - one's thin and one's fat.
Dave Lalor (19:08):
Well yeah, but they're both idiots.
Jon Rhodes (19:10):
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But do you know that in Bradford there was a Laurel and Hardy Appreciation club?
Dave Lalor (19:14):
I joined it
Jon Rhodes (19:15):
My brother-In-Law and a few other lads from Wrose FC used to go and they obviously got dressed up.
Dave Lalor (19:21):
Yeah, yeah. Well you wore a Fez. You get a Fez and it says Sons of the Desert on it. And people always mistake that. They think that is about, you know, the film where they're in the foreign legion and all that.
Jon Rhodes (19:35):
Alright.
Dave Lalor (19:35):
It's nothing to do with that. Sons of the Desert was like a man's club, a fraternity. Oh, right. So blokes club, no women allowed, and Sons of the desert and you have to wear a fez and a sash. Right? And it's that film, the Sons of the Desert. So every Laurel and Hardy appreciation society is called Sons of the Desert. And because it's like on the desert theme and all that, they don't call them a branch, they call them a tent. So everyone is named after a film. So name of a film, something Tent Bradford. So ours was, the Bradford one, was County Hospital Tent Bradford.
Jon Rhodes (20:15):
I think it's now time. I haven't mentioned this to you, but I think I'd like to tell you a joke now, Dave. Obviously you can edit it later.
Dave Lalor (20:22):
Hang on, <laugh>
Jon Rhodes (20:26):
So anyhow, this bloke is sentenced to death. So he goes into jail and it's one of these places in America where they're in there for a long time. So he goes in all nervous, I'm gonna be in some real bother here. So he is in this cell with his bloke. And first night it goes, deathly quiet. And all of a sudden somebody shouts out a number, a hundred twenty two. And he looks at this at this bloke and the bloke starts laughing and he's like, ah, <laugh>, Wonder if that's a code that I'm gonna get, when I go to the shower. Next night. Another bloke, 147. Ah, they all start laughing, they're all laughing down all the aisles. He thinks, oh God, what they gonna do with me? So this goes on for a couple of weeks and he, every night somebody's shouting out, then finally he braves up. And he says to this guy, says you know, every night when somebody shouts that number out, he says, what does it mean? He says, well, they're all jokes that we know. He said, we're up to 250 now. He says, but there's no point in telling them because we know them all. So we just shout the number out now. So he's like, oh, all right. He said, that seems like a right good idea. So one night he decides nobody's doing it, and the guy looks and says, I think it might be your turn. He said, you've gotta do it now. He's like, I don't really know, 284! And everybody starts cracking and they're all laughing down aisles and everything. 20 minutes they were laughing and the bloke says, why? He said, why would everybody be laughing like that? for so long about that? He said, oh, we've never heard that one before.
Dave Lalor (21:41):
<Laugh>
Jon Rhodes (21:44):
You may not hear that.
Dave Lalor (21:45):
Okay, well, so I guess I'll have to respond. <Laugh>. My favorite joke is much shorter.
Jon Rhodes (21:56):
I cut that one down.
Dave Lalor (21:57):
Yeah. So two monkeys in a bath. You heard that?
Jon Rhodes (22:01):
Two monkeys in a bath. No, I never.
Dave Lalor (22:04):
Two monkeys in a bath and one says, another one says oooh, ooh, ooh and the other says well put some f**n cold in then! <laugh>
Jon Rhodes (22:21):
We only wanna give you one joke. I think what we should do is, you vote to who does the next joke?
Dave Lalor (22:30):
Yeah.
Jon Rhodes (22:30):
So send in, did you like the joke? Dave's joke better than mine if you did, Dave, if not, Jon, or if you didn't like either, just say no jokes, please. It's up to you.
Dave Lalor (22:38):
We probably won't listen to you.
Jon Rhodes (22:43):
Send us a good joke in and we may actually do it and you may be mentioned.
Dave Lalor (22:48):
Okay. So look at this little list then. Oh, I'll tell you what, did you wanna, in memory of good old Steve, Wright, should we do some factoids? Should we have factoid music?
Jon Rhodes (23:01):
Yeah.
Jon Rhodes (23:08):
The longest word without a vowel is rhythms.
Dave Lalor (23:12):
Did you know that the ancient Romans used urine as a cleaning agent?
Jon Rhodes (23:16):
You're taking the..
Dave Lalor (23:16):
Yeah, indeed.
Jon Rhodes (23:20):
A little bit like yourself. The Eiffel Tower can be 15 centimeters taller during the summer due to the expansion of the iron.
Dave Lalor (23:27):
I'm not sure it's, you can be 15 centimeters, you go a bit of Top there. <Laugh> The shortest war in history was between Britain and Zanzibar on August the 27th 1896 Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes.
Jon Rhodes (23:42):
That was some war. A shame a lot more don’t finish that quick.
A group of flamingos is called a flamboyance.
Dave Lalor (23:52):
I like this one. The inventor of the Frisbee was turned in with Frisbee.
Jon Rhodes (23:55):
I was quite gonna do that one next.
Dave Lalor (23:57):
<Laugh>
Jon Rhodes (23:59):
Octopuses. Is it not Octopi?
Dave Lalor (24:01):
I think you can do both. I think both are acceptable.
Jon Rhodes (24:05):
Mike Padden, Could you comment on that please? Octopi have three hearts, two pump blood to the gills. While the third pumps it to the rest of the body.
Dave Lalor (24:14):
Cows have best friends and they can become stressed when they're separated.
Jon Rhodes (24:19):
Honey never spoils. Archeologists have found pots of honey in ancient Egyptian tombs that are over 3000 years old and still in date. Oh no. Still perfectly edible. <Laugh>
Dave Lalor (24:33):
Egyptian hieroglyphics
Jon Rhodes (24:34):
Yeah. Yeah.
Dave Lalor (24:38):
Yeah. The tomb robbers didn't Nick the .......... honey then?
Jon Rhodes (24:41):
No, obviously not know.
Dave Lalor (24:43):
Did you know thatTutankhamun wasn't born Tutankhamun?
Jon Rhodes (24:51):
No, I didn't know that.
Dave Lalor (24:52):
Yeah. His father's, what the hell did he call his father now? Anyway, his father, the pharaoh before him were a bit of a nutter and he kicked out all the religious Gods because they had quite a lot of different Gods and they had done for hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of years. And he said, no, there's only this one sun god now. So when he died unexpectedly Tutankhamun were only nine. So say that all the advisors got around him and said, you need to bring back the other gods and da, da da. So he kind of rejected his fathers name and he took on the name Amun, which was one of the old gods.
Jon Rhodes (25:29):
Oh, right. And that's brings a good point actually, Dave. I've just had another grandson. Thank you, Stephen and Hannah, a little boy. And they've named him Max. And I thought, oh, is it after Maximus or Maximilian?
Dave Lalor (25:41):
Headroom?
Jon Rhodes (25:42):
No, no, not even that. <Laugh> Max Headroom. Yeah. <Laugh>. Oh God. That man used to make me laugh. Quite a few lads at school looked like him. And no, it's Maxwell. “House?” So I said, well this is, I don’t know whether I haven't told him yet that there was a coffee named that, but <laugh>, I mean, if he'd have said Nescafe, I might have mentioned it then. And I said, is it after Maximus? you know, from Maximus Aurelius, I am the murderer of a da da da da. And what do you think about the names that adults today are giving their children? Have you, you know, having my other grandson, he is called Arthur. And Arthur and Maxwell. They're lovely little boys and....
Dave Lalor (26:17):
And quite traditional names.
Jon Rhodes (26:19):
Yeah. And yeah, I'm just surprised at what names some people come up with now.
Dave Lalor (26:22):
Well, they’d struggle, you know, as me and you being lapsed Catholics and all that. They used to have to be a saint, didn't they? When you were baptized they would say, saint so and so pray for him.
Jon Rhodes (26:36):
Oh, right. Yeah. So.......
Dave Lalor (26:39):
You know, the priest would struggle with Saint Kylie. Pray for him.
Jon Rhodes (26:46):
So your name this child Menogwin. <Laugh>.
Dave Lalor (26:49):
<Laugh>. Yeah. after Saint Menogwin .. obviously
Jon Rhodes (26:53):
I once ask me mum, I said, you know this Jonathan, I hate it. I mean look at Ronald Reagan. He were named after president.
Dave Lalor (26:59):
He was a president! <Laugh>, I know he were you pillock! <laugh>. He'd have been better off staying as an actor.
Dave Lalor (27:08):
<Laugh>.
Jon Rhodes (27:08):
And then there were, what's his name? Wrestler. What’s he called.......
Dave Lalor (27:11):
A Wrestler who became an American president?
Jon Rhodes (27:13):
No, not an American president.
Jon Rhodes (27:15):
Oh, what’s his name?
Dave Lalor (27:16):
Oh, Shirley.
Jon Rhodes (27:17):
Yeah. Big daddy were it.
Dave Lalor (27:20):
Shirley Crabtree. I nearly said Valentine.
Jon Rhodes (27:23):
I nearly said Valentine as well.
Dave Lalor (27:25):
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No big daddy was she called Shirley, I suppose. Like, you know like that song that Johnny Cash son a boy named Sue? Gave him a ridiculous name so he could <laugh> maybe Shirley Crabtree were like that too. So talk about his name and he’ll knock you out <laugh>.
Right? Where do you wanna go now?
Jon Rhodes (27:45):
What I'd like to do is, I think that there's thousands of people across this country who do a little bit in their own areas that do good and you don't, not the big guys, they do well, Age Concern and Sense and all these other massive charities. They've got the charity shops. There's little groups out there doing work in your local communities, whether they be food banks, whether they be this, be that and the other. And I'd like once a week for us to give a shout out to a local charity and we want for you send it into us, you know, name your charity, tell us what they do and we'll give them a quick shout out. Because they deserve it. You know, they're unpaid. The volunteers are going out there. And I would particularly like to start it off this week, and I would like to mention that in Bingley we have a beautiful park called Myrtle Park.
Jon Rhodes (28:28):
And there is a charity who have a little hub in there and every week they go out and do a bit of gardening around the place. It's called Friends of Myrtle Park FOMP for short. And they do great work. They're just setting out, doing the sunken garden in the area now. So if you're from that around the area, call down in the park and if you see somebody bent down with a high-vis on weeding, they’re volunteers. They get a lot of help from the council and the ground stuff around there. But these are charitable people just making our life a little bit better for us. So I'd like to give them a big clap. Have we got a clap on here, Dave?
Dave Lalor (29:01):
Yeah, we have somewhere.
Jon Rhodes (29:06):
If you think of anybody next week, Dave will mention one and we'll just keep on.
Dave Lalor (29:10):
Well what I was gonna say is have they got, have they got a Facebook page or something?
Jon Rhodes (29:15):
Yeah, they've got a Facebook page.
Dave Lalor (29:17):
Because what we can do is we can put a link in the show notes.
Jon Rhodes (29:21):
That'd be great. I did ask for permission before I left.
Dave Lalor (29:24):
Okay. We'll put a link down below in the show notes.
Jon Rhodes (29:32):
Go back to the days of when we were just........
Dave Lalor (29:35):
The telly pub hunt?
Jon Rhodes (29:36):
Well yes, I think you know what it was about People might not know about this if they're from around the other area. I know some people in Australia will remember it. Well, but there was Tetleys, it's a local Leeds brewery and they started this thing called the Tetley] Pub Hunt where it came out and I think it were 20 pubs you had to do.
Dave Lalor (29:54):
Something like that. And so you got a stamp.
Jon Rhodes (29:58):
For a pint.
Dave Lalor (29:59):
For a pint, but you had to have different pubs. So it got you going around all the different Tetley pubs.
Jon Rhodes (30:04):
Great idea. And that would be before responsible drinking. So you could actually do it in one night if you were ambitious, <laugh> or you could share a card between two or three. But we thought that'd be cheating. So we did try to aim to do it in one night, two nights if you couldn't afford to do it in one night. So yeah, you went down with this card and you went in the pubs and you got stamped and 20 pubs later you got the T-shirt sent through the post.
Dave Lalor (30:27):
And then they'd, it were that successful, they run it again the next year and then you get a different T-shirt.
Dave Lalor (30:32):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And you know, we've all got our own little stories to tell - you certainly have! But maybe we'll tee that up for next week, do you think?
Jon Rhodes (30:41):
Yeah, yeah, yeah. We can do that. It’s coming up to, you know, three years ago, this next month. I pretty much died. But you know, that's the story that I'm happy to tell. And I'm not a voice from <laugh> above or below. I am here and I'm happy to share my story and hopefully it might help some people as well.
Dave Lalor (31:05):
Yeah, absolutely. We'll give that a good section of its own next time.
Jon Rhodes (31:10):
Over next few weeks, I'll share insights some of the hospitality that I did up at Harewood House and some various service areas that I worked on and being mistaken for Rick Astley by a load of liverpudlian fans, but that's, you know, that's for next. I can't give you it all tonight. Otherwise you won't come back. You might not come back.
Dave Lalor (31:30):
And were their guide dogs Alright?
Jon Rhodes (31:36):
Yeah, yeah.
Jon Rhodes (31:38):
No, no, no. It was common at the time. And as they left, I just said, look lads, I'm just never gonna give you up.
Dave Lalor (31:46):
Oh, I think on that note, yeah.
Jon Rhodes (31:54):
Good night from him.
Dave Lalor (31:56):
<Laugh>. It's good night from me. Absolutely.
Jon Rhodes (32:01):
Well hopefully you'll hear the good bits and not too many of the bad bits when Dave's finished. We'll look forward to seeing you again next week. Speaking to you next week.
Dave Lalor (32:09):
Yeah. So this will be dropping on Wednesday the 20th of March. So Paddy's day will have just been and gone. So Sláinte to everybody. I hope you had a good St. Patrick's Day.
Jon Rhodes (32:20):
Yeah. Jesus and all that to you. <Laugh>. That's my worst accent ever.
הצהרה: הפודקאסט והגרפיקה המוטבעים בדף זה הם מ-David Lalor - Jon Rhodes, שהוא רכושו של בעליו ואינו קשור או מאושר על ידי Listen Notes, Inc.
