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[SPEAKER_00]: You are listening to Blessed and Boston, presented by Anchor DeMedia.
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[SPEAKER_00]: In entrepreneurship podcasts for Christians, all about how to make God the CEO of your business.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Get ready to be inspired, challenged, but well equipped to live and build your destiny, his way.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Hey guys, welcome to another episode of the blessed ambassador podcast.
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[SPEAKER_00]: This week all week, I think when I get to episodes, maybe three, depending on how long it takes me, this week, where we are going to be answering your questions.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I send out an email last night, actually, asking if anybody had any questions.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We're on the last month of the first quarter of the year.
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[SPEAKER_00]: This is around those times where goals are still exciting, but you lost maybe a bit of that motivation
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[SPEAKER_00]: There may be some things that have gotten a little bit stale and I believe it's just a great time to check in and for me to answer your question So I'm excited to dive into the inbox.
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[SPEAKER_00]: If you ever want to have a question read aloud on this podcast You can always email it to me Tatum at TatumToMea.com I usually when I get them in between Episodes.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'll just like flag it and store it into a folder that I refer back to for these episodes
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[SPEAKER_00]: So don't hesitate if you ever have a question to just email it to me, but I don't respond to you via email.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I definitely flag it so that I can answer it here on the show.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Now, as I was going through these emails, I, my heart is just so full.
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[SPEAKER_00]: This podcast is something I've been doing for a long time, nine years now.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And this space has always been like a community for me.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Even though when I'm recording this, it's usually just me sitting in a room, talking to myself.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But,
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[SPEAKER_00]: There's a love that I have for you all who listen to this podcast.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I know podcast and has become such a huge popular thing.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Everybody has a podcast.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's like talk shows at this point with all the different video episodes and shows that are out there.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But this show started from my heart.
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[SPEAKER_00]: from my obedience and the community that is built here is one that I love.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I have met you guys over the years.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I met a listener like what two weeks ago.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We were both attending an open house for a school that we wanted to send our kids to.
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[SPEAKER_00]: She recognized me from the podcast that was such a exciting thing for me.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I've met you guys at different events or speaking engagements or our tour.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Many of you have become clients.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Then become friends.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We're on a first name basis.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Like this show is a community that I love.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And when I get these questions, I'm always reminded how much I love this community because we are always, while you may look at me as somebody who pours into you
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[SPEAKER_00]: When I get your questions and I'm able to engage with you in this way, it makes me feel like we're in this together because a lot of things that I discuss every week here on the show are things that I personally am going through and getting real time revelation for or I might still be working through and so when I hear your questions and we're able to talk about it, it just feels to me it just adds a level of closeness that I particularly
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[SPEAKER_00]: enjoy.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I love when we get to do these episodes and that's why I always take my time with the questions I don't rush through answering questions.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I want to be as thorough as possible because I look at it as I'm helping you But you're also helping me so without further ado, let's get into the first question.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It says first happy belated birthday.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I hope you had a beautiful day celebrating.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I've also really been missing you in the society.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I also like to send in a question for the podcast.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I recently came out of a three to four year relationship where I remain celebrating kept God first, but ultimately it ended because of deception.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm grateful that God removed me from it though.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It was still a meaningful season of my life.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I just turned 30 this past December.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Happy belated birthday to you too.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And one of the deepest desires of my heart has always been to become a wife and a mother.
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[SPEAKER_00]: However, I genuinely feel like God may be asking me to focus on other things for the next few years.
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[SPEAKER_00]: My question is, how do you hold space for those desires without letting them consume your focus in a season where you believe God is calling you to build or pursue something else?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes when I read our write my focus, I tend to shut the desire off completely, losing total interest just to move forward and I'm trying to find a healthier balance.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for creating space
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[SPEAKER_00]: So, first I want to talk about your response when you said that sometimes when I redirect my focus, I tend to shut the desire off completely just to move forward and I'm trying to find a healthier balance.
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[SPEAKER_00]: This is like typical
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[SPEAKER_00]: coping mechanism survival mode type of tactic.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It feels vulnerable and it feels unsafe to be in a position where you're desiring these things or it feels vulnerable and unsafe to allow yourself to desire motherhood and marriage while also
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[SPEAKER_00]: discerning that the Lord is leading you away from focusing on those things.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so to cope, you disassociate or emotionally shut yourself off.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And that is probably a coping strategy that has served you well for your life.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not sure of your background of what you've been through, but I'm sure that those are strategies that have worked in the past.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I know for me, I'm the Queen of Disassociation.
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[SPEAKER_00]: that is a strategy that has helped me to survive for my whole life.
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[SPEAKER_00]: To where once I'm in a space where I don't feel safe, where I feel vulnerable, where I don't feel seen, I immediately shut my emotions off.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And that is something that I've also had to work through.
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[SPEAKER_00]: See the beauty and just being vulnerable and giving God my vulnerabilities, right?
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[SPEAKER_00]: So now if I talk to people and let's say I'm stressed about something and somebody's like Oh, no, it's going to be fine.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, hold on.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not going to allow you to guide me to rush through my feelings.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I feel uncomfortable, and so I'm just uncomfortable right now.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And in a moment or as time passes, I'll feel a little bit more comfortable.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But right now, I feel disappointed.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I feel let down.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I feel uncomfortable.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I feel insert whatever feeling from the feelings will here.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And then I'm going to move on, and not move on in a sense of brushing it off, but move on in a healthy way without negating my feelings or cutting my feelings off completely.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I found that personally to be a much healthier way to move forward in whatever is going on, then shutting my emotions off.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so here's how I suggest that you do that.
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[SPEAKER_00]: First things first, understand the enemy's tactic here.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Because I know something that works for me is when I feel like the enemy is slapping me around, usually that's enough to make me pull myself together.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Where I'm like, oh no, the enemy think he has an upper hand on me, please, no.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm about to deal with this right now and prayer.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm about to really address this issue.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so that helps me to refocus away from
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[SPEAKER_00]: sulking in my feelings or away from disassociating and focusing on okay there is something at hand that is trying to separate me from the will of God that's trying to separate me from the contentment that the Lord wants me to have that's trying to separate me from the trust that I can have in the Lord that's trying to separate me from the peace that surpasses all understanding
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not going to accept it and allow it to control me because that's what disassociation does.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Am I opinion?
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[SPEAKER_00]: It allows it's a byproduct of you allowing the enemy to get you to focus on your own survival mechanisms versus continuing to trust the Lord and his comfort.
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[SPEAKER_00]: A lot of us are okay with looking to God as being the deliverer, the healer, the action taker, but it is more difficult to look at God as simply our confeder.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We know how to call on him, we want him to move, but we don't know how to seek him to just sit with him, to just lay our head in his lap, like a child seeking comfort from a parent.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's harder for us a lot of times to do that, especially those of us who are self-sufficient and who suffer from being in survival mode.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I would first want to redirect you to
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[SPEAKER_00]: the enemy's manipulation tactics because I feel like that'll stir something up and you to help you really be able to focus back on not your own methods, but focus back on surrendering and allowing the Lord to guide you in this season.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Also, something that I tell women who I talk to who are a little younger than me, we do not expire at 30 and we have to stop allowing the world and church and Christian communities to make us feel like we do.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm 34 and I loved it to talk to my girl these who are in their late 20s, just turn 30 who are facing this clock of I want to be a wife.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I want to be married and you feel like it's not going to happen.
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[SPEAKER_00]: The enemy deceives you and feeling making you feel as if it's too late for you time is running out.
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[SPEAKER_00]: All of this these false senses of urgency just starts bubbling up on the inside of you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And if I can hop on my soapbox for a second, it bothers me how Christian spaces make this 10 times worse.
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[SPEAKER_00]: As if we do not know the spiritual implications of what happens when you become in covenant with someone, when you become one with someone through marriage, that is not a light decision.
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[SPEAKER_00]: and it blows my mind, why in Christian spaces, they're so quick to push you down the aisle, as if we don't understand the magnitude of the decision that is being made.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And then God forbid you marry the wrong one and you're dealing with toxicity in abuse and the list goes on, then they tell you to fight for your marriage, it's warfare, it's the enemy,
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[SPEAKER_00]: This was a bad decision.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, God can do anything and also.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Before we even get there, let us take a step back and not rush down the aisle.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Let's not get caught up in the fairy tale of it all, of the beautiful day of the wedding, of the beautiful holiday photos and all of the different things that we may see on social media, let's look beyond the smoke and mirrors and get to the root of the covenant.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That is a serious decision that needs to be made.
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[SPEAKER_00]: in that decision needs to ultimately be made sober.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And when I say sober, I mean free from the control of the emotion of how badly you may want to get married or have children.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so I bring this up, not just to be on my soapbox, but to also provide perspective on what the Lord may be teaching you directly or indirectly in this season of saying, hey, I know that these are the desires of your heart, but I want you to focus on something else right now.
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[SPEAKER_00]: because I believe that by you focusing on what he wants you to focus on, the byproduct of that is going to be a level of sobriety that if and when the Lord brings your husband to you,
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[SPEAKER_00]: you're not going to be looking at the situation with rose colored glasses.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You're going to be so focused on God and what he has you doing that you have sound mine and wisdom and discernment and good judgment when you finally do meet your husband.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I believe that that's beautiful and this is why I always tell my younger sisters and
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[SPEAKER_00]: Put marriage in motherhood on such a pedestal to where it robbed you of that sobriety.
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[SPEAKER_00]: because you need to make a sound decision.
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[SPEAKER_00]: When you decide that I am going to yoke myself to another individual till death do us part, that is a serious decision.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And that's just the marriage part, because if we add the motherhood aspect to that, being a mother is the hardest thing that I've ever done.
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[SPEAKER_00]: it is physically hard because your body grows another human, labor and delivery is hard because you're putting your life on a line to bring life into this world.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Postpartum is hard, breastfeeding is hard, all of it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's not easy.
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[SPEAKER_00]: to the journey to becoming a mother and then was even more difficult in my opinion is the responsibility that you have as a parent to raise this gift that the Lord has blessed you with.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so I say being a mother is the hardest thing that I've ever done because it is the most serious thing in my opinion that I've ever done because every little thing I think about, I think about was my tone okay and my representing Christ correctly to my children or they want to grow up and not want anything to do with the law because of a mistake that I made.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I did I make this right decision when it comes to my child.
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[SPEAKER_00]: My husband and I, man, we sometimes will stay up late, right in our brain about things and when it comes to our kids and things that we may notice and how we want to cultivate that.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'll tell y'all stories about my kids all the time on the show.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And we talk about like, man, I've noticed that one of them did X, Y, Z, and I really want to nurture that or I really want to correct that without stifling it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: He has these great leadership qualities, but he's a child.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So he has to still be obedient, but I don't want to stifle his leadership.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So how do I do that?
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[SPEAKER_00]: How do I parent well?
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[SPEAKER_00]: and correct behaviors without crushing his spirit.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Like all of these nuanced things, it is serious, it's serious.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And we stay up late and have conversations about ways in which we want to approach different things or how we want to parent our kids.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We hold each other accountable.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Their times are my husband.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I feel like might be being a little bit too tough when our sons and our, we've stint toes down together when we're together.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We tell our kids all the time, we're a team.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Whatever he say I say whatever I say he say whatever like we're one But when they leave I might be like hey, I think that that was a little bit too much in my husband Like all right, I'll let me go back in apologize or correct or whatever and saying for me He might be like hey, I think you need to take a walk you get in a little agitated or whatever and I'll go Take a beat and come back, but it takes I say all that to say it takes a level of
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's so intentional, it's so serious, it's so taxing, mentally, and physically.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It is the most rewarding thing that I've ever done.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And there are some questions that come up that I'll share as it's relevant, but I say all that to say while marriage and motherhood are beautiful,
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[SPEAKER_00]: They also require levels of work and intentionality.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I feel like because of that, they shouldn't be rushed.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I feel like because of that, you should very much so enjoy the season that you're in before you become a parent.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I believe one of the best things that I did before becoming a parent was make sure that I was in the space where I was constable with myself first.
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[SPEAKER_00]: where I will always hear women say how they lost themselves and motherhood.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I don't feel like that at all.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Even at law school now, when my classmates will be like, do you miss your kids?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I don't even know how you have little kids and you're still in school.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, I love my kids.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I can't wait to get home to them.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And also, like, I'm still, I'm still me.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I don't feel like it makes me a better mother to totally disappear in motherhood.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I don't believe that that is right at all.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Like I'm very comfortable with who I am, I'm established and who I am.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I believe that that adds to my ability to be a good mother.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I attribute that comfortability and self-confidence to really just enjoying myself and focusing on myself before having children, building and starting the things that the Lord directed to me before I had children.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I always give the advice to enjoy the season, because once you have kids, you're responsible for them for the rest of your life.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so you will be submitted to inserving your husband and your household for the rest of your life.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And you have the benefit right now to just serve God in yourself.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And not yourself in a sinful way, but I mean, like, you know, serve the Lord and have fun and do the things that you like and go to a concert in the middle of the week or go travel to a different country or buy that house that you want to buy and do all the things that you want to do as long as they're not sinful.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But to answer your question, though, your ultimate question of how do I still hold space for these desires.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Even when it's not God's time for them, it's such a wise question and it's here's how you do it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You focus on the Lord and what he has you focused on in the season and you let yourself still have that desire fight the urge to disassociate.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And with allowing yourself to feel that desire, there will be times where disappointment is pop up.
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[SPEAKER_00]: when you hear that somebody you know was having a baby and it's things a little bit, no thoughts come in of God, when is it going to happen for me?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Pain, that next birthday come in and now you're 32 when you're like, oh man, my biological clock is ticking and all those thoughts try to creep in.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Allow yourself to feel them, allow yourself to be present.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And then you submit those thoughts for the Lord and you seek Him for comfort.
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[SPEAKER_00]: As you continue to obey Him, because that posture is gonna serve you well, even when you walk into these roles, because they're gonna be times where being a mother doesn't feel good.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And you have to feel the feels of whatever the situation is and you're gonna have to trust God to comfort you, and to lead you as you as you are serving your family.
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[SPEAKER_00]: There's going to be a time where you and your husband have conflict and it's not going to feel good and you have to feel not disassociate because that's not beneficial for any relationship, not the relationship with God, the people around you or yourself.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You're going to have to feel those feels and you're going to have to let the Lord be your guide and your computer.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So everything that he's doing in you right now will be relevant for every season to come.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so hold on to those desires.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Don't disassociate from them.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And when and if the disappointment comes, just feel it and it cling to the Lord even more.
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[SPEAKER_00]: If it's come to the point where it's like too much, don't disassociate, but just protect that.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So let's say social media and all the posts that come up are triggering for you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: unfollow pages block certain people mute certain pages.
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[SPEAKER_00]: They won't even know that they're muted so that you're not seeing those things.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So don't allow yourself to be tormented so to speak, but also don't associate disassociate either keep that picture's board.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Keep that pinchless board of what ring that you like and what dress and what your colors you want your bras made to wear one day.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I think that's just a joyful part of desires, especially when we're not in the seasons yet where you get, there's something to me light and beautiful and exciting about just the dreaming part.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm wondering what my kids are going to look like one day.
22:14.649 --> 22:18.917
[SPEAKER_00]: I wonder what dress I'm going to wear on my wedding day.
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[SPEAKER_00]: What my colors are going to be.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Just little things like that, the little girly things that a lot of us enjoy, still enjoy those things.
22:27.517 --> 22:33.765
[SPEAKER_00]: But if it ever starts to drive you into impatience, that's when you take a step back.
22:34.666 --> 22:41.355
[SPEAKER_00]: So self-awareness will help guide you in what this balance looks like at any given point in time.
22:42.016 --> 22:50.487
[SPEAKER_00]: But again, I think that you should take the advice and the practical things that we've discussed and I think that'll be really helpful for you.
22:50.467 --> 22:54.151
[SPEAKER_00]: The next question says, Hey Tatum, I've been listening to your podcast since 2018.
22:55.152 --> 23:03.882
[SPEAKER_00]: Back then, I listened because I appreciate your practical spiritual advice, but last year, I transitioned into entrepreneurship and now the podcast is differently.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm well aware of the importance of spending time with the Holy Spirit, fasting, and reading the word for direction, and strategy in my business.
23:11.851 --> 23:18.398
[SPEAKER_00]: But sometimes, I struggle to know whether I'm truly waiting on God for direction, or if I'm procrastinating on taking action.
23:18.378 --> 23:19.741
[SPEAKER_00]: How do you know the difference?
23:19.841 --> 23:24.791
[SPEAKER_00]: How do you discern when it's time to move versus when you need to sit with something a little longer?
23:24.831 --> 23:34.530
[SPEAKER_00]: For context, about a month after I decided to take my business seriously, I was accepted into a business accelerator through Intuit and the National Urban Lead.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Congratulations, that's awesome.
23:37.175 --> 23:43.626
[SPEAKER_00]: As the first entrepreneur my family, getting accepted into that program, felt like God's provision because he knew I'd need it guidance.
23:44.027 --> 23:46.872
[SPEAKER_00]: It felt like confirmation that I was headed in the right direction.
23:47.553 --> 23:58.813
[SPEAKER_00]: Now I'm in a season of clarifying my message, positioning in the services I offer, but I'm so afraid of stepping out of alignment that I sometimes overthink everything which leads to me doing nothing.
23:58.793 --> 24:10.609
[SPEAKER_00]: How do you know you're on the right track while building isn't normal to feel like you have no idea what you're doing but still move forward with wisdom and faith anyway any insight you share with me in a lot.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Girl, first of all, congratulations.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That is amazing.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Getting into the accelerator is no small thing.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I know a lot of times we like to downplay stuff as it's no big deal, but no, we're gonna take a second.
24:24.650 --> 24:26.793
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna give you a round of applause.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's amazing.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm so proud of you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Congratulations on that.
24:30.037 --> 24:36.664
[SPEAKER_00]: And I do believe that it's the Lord answering a prayer and giving you guidance.
24:36.644 --> 24:43.019
[SPEAKER_00]: that you need to build your business practical guidance as well and connections and things that at nature.
24:43.059 --> 24:44.302
[SPEAKER_00]: So that's that's major.
24:44.343 --> 24:54.467
[SPEAKER_00]: Now to I'm going to start with their last question, is it normal to feel like you have no idea what you're doing, but still move forward with wisdom and faith any any way.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Girl, yes, is a normal, absolutely.
24:59.579 --> 25:08.102
[SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to entrepreneurship, especially Christian entrepreneurship, because as a believer in an entrepreneur, we,
25:09.365 --> 25:26.547
[SPEAKER_00]: we sit in this, what feels like such a messy space of our spiritual life, our praying, our fasting in, our reading our word in, seeking the Holy Spirit on guidance, while also in this business world of
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[SPEAKER_00]: Positioning and messaging and marketing and sales and reports and accounting and legal like all of that is also in our head And then we have this pressure a lot of times as black women entrepreneurs.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We have this pressure
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[SPEAKER_00]: we have a lack of resources, we don't have many other people who have built something successful from nothing.
25:48.472 --> 26:00.757
[SPEAKER_00]: So we had this self-doubt, we had this imposter syndrome, we had a real need for resources, not necessarily knowing where to go, then being a pulled one.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, I have this
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[SPEAKER_00]: business resource, but is it going to contradict the Lord?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Or I have this spiritual answer, but then I don't see how that fully translates into the practical side that's going to help me make the money.
26:12.749 --> 26:21.577
[SPEAKER_00]: And so all of these things live in our head at the exact same time and it causes us to overthink.
26:21.597 --> 26:23.459
[SPEAKER_00]: It causes us to be overwhelmed.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It causes decision paralysis to where we don't do
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[SPEAKER_00]: I mean that I hit everything.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I been doing this for a long time.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So girl, I see you.
26:38.293 --> 26:39.133
[SPEAKER_00]: We see each other.
26:39.193 --> 26:39.834
[SPEAKER_00]: We right here.
26:41.235 --> 26:43.417
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, it is completely normal.
26:44.658 --> 26:46.340
[SPEAKER_00]: And here is my solution.
26:47.681 --> 26:49.923
[SPEAKER_00]: None of this is going to make sense.
26:51.304 --> 26:59.832
[SPEAKER_00]: None of the noise is going to quiet and no decision is going to be made easier without this one thing.
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[SPEAKER_00]: adopt this perspective as you pursue entrepreneurship.
27:05.345 --> 27:15.959
[SPEAKER_00]: Everything that you listed out, your spending time in the world, your praying, your fasting and all of the spiritual activity is wonderful.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's necessary.
27:18.283 --> 27:27.996
[SPEAKER_00]: And what's going to make it click is you looking at the Lord as your dwelling
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[SPEAKER_00]: and prioritizing a biting in here.
27:31.561 --> 27:32.062
[SPEAKER_00]: Hear me out.
27:33.944 --> 27:35.927
[SPEAKER_00]: A dwelling place is a home.
27:36.848 --> 27:38.751
[SPEAKER_00]: It is somewhere that you live.
27:40.013 --> 27:43.037
[SPEAKER_00]: It is somewhere that you always go back to.
27:43.617 --> 27:45.941
[SPEAKER_00]: It is somewhere that you cultivate.
27:46.441 --> 27:51.368
[SPEAKER_00]: It is somewhere that you rest, you reside, right?
27:53.592 --> 28:00.874
[SPEAKER_00]: When we look at the Lord in that way, and we make Him our place of refuge, our dwelling place.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It quiets all of these competing interests in our minds.
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[SPEAKER_00]: because our spirituality is not just mentally-lived experience, because the reason why things feel so abnormal is because it's all happening in your mind.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so it's all loud, it's all conflicting, it's confusing, and it's paralyzing.
28:25.354 --> 28:29.742
[SPEAKER_00]: But when we look at the Lord as our dwelling place,
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[SPEAKER_00]: When we decide that we are going to truly abide in him as he's called us to, there is a closeness that goes beyond just the spiritual activity or just us thinking about what he wants us to do or just talking to him throughout the day.
28:46.478 --> 29:06.788
[SPEAKER_00]: There is this piece, there is this ease, there is this flow, there is this pace that happened when you adopt the understanding that your life has to be won to where you dwell in the presence of the most high, where you abide in him in him and you and then you bear much fruit as the scripture says.
29:08.250 --> 29:13.498
[SPEAKER_00]: And so what that looks like is, and I'm going to paint the difference of what
29:14.660 --> 29:20.472
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean and as far as like what this looks like on a day to day and what it doesn't look like.
29:20.953 --> 29:23.839
[SPEAKER_00]: So a lot of times what happens and this is what it doesn't look like.
29:24.380 --> 29:26.544
[SPEAKER_00]: We have our spiritual activity.
29:26.745 --> 29:34.120
[SPEAKER_00]: So we wake up, we read our Bible, we read our devotional, we pray, and then we go about our day.
29:34.100 --> 29:40.030
[SPEAKER_00]: Our date is just lived very regularly and very much so in the everyday world.
29:40.391 --> 29:57.120
[SPEAKER_00]: We listen to a secular music, we have conversations that may not be edifying, we watch whatever one you do, but listen to whatever podcast, like that, the spiritual part of our life is compartmentalized to that hour or so in the morning.
29:57.100 --> 30:02.585
[SPEAKER_00]: until maybe let's say a decision needs to be made and you recognize that you need to pray about it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So then you kind of shut off those outside things and then you sit with the Lord or let's say something is going on in your business and you want to see him for that thing.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You invite him back in at that point and so these spiritual moments are moments.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's not this full lifestyle.
30:20.681 --> 30:27.107
[SPEAKER_00]: You may listen to a sermon throughout the day as more so motivation.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But there are these compartmentalized spiritual activities that happen throughout the day.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But your focus, your attention, which are listening to watching, et cetera, is generally spent in the world and the world's perspective.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And that may not seem super detrimental,
30:50.965 --> 31:18.913
[SPEAKER_00]: But it is, because those things that we listen to, watch the conversations we engage in, all of these things that we give our attention to, that are not pure, they then impact us and add to this noise that we describe, and then we get into that space of feeling like everything is all over the place or overthinking and not sure and all of that.
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[SPEAKER_00]: happens in my opinion when your day-to-day looks like what I just described.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Now, here's the alternative of dwelling and abiding.
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[SPEAKER_00]: This way of going about your life and your business is cultivated in such a way to where your biggest influence is the Holy Spirit
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[SPEAKER_00]: where your mind and your heart seeks him in all things.
31:54.893 --> 31:59.413
[SPEAKER_00]: So what this looks like is when you wake up in the morning, your phone is on D&D.
31:59.663 --> 32:05.032
[SPEAKER_00]: Nobody's able to have access to you until you allow them to, right, phone is on D&D.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You wake up, you play, uh, let's say some instrumentals while you get ready for your day.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Or you have the same one and routine.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Uh, you read your word, you read your devotional.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But instead of just checking these things off and moving on, you take a moment.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And you just sit with the Lord.
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[SPEAKER_00]: where your time with him isn't just always asking for things or speaking at all, but you're just sitting and saying, good morning, father, I'm here.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And you have your notebook in case he decides to download something or show you something, or you just sit in his presence.
32:44.652 --> 33:11.790
[SPEAKER_00]: And then from there, you move on, let's say you, whatever your routine is and you want to listen to something and you might listen to some gospel music, you may listen to some, let's say prophetic instrumentals, you may just go to the Bible app on your phone and press play and let the word play in the background while you get dressed or load the car or whatever the case may be as you're going through your commute.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And let me backtrack as you're doing these small things, you're seeking and searching for the Lord, your mindful and present as if opposed to being in your head.
33:24.007 --> 33:28.591
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, this previous life that we described, it's a lot happening mentally.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You're thinking about all you have to do that day.
33:30.533 --> 33:33.135
[SPEAKER_00]: There's this mental checklist, productivity.
33:33.195 --> 33:42.283
[SPEAKER_00]: I gotta do this and oh, I want to do this in my business and I'm learning this about the messaging and I wonder how that's going to apply.
33:42.263 --> 33:52.481
[SPEAKER_00]: The dwelling and abiding lifestyle is one in which you recognize that those things need to get addressed, but you're in no rush to address everything at once.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You understand that, okay, I don't know three p.m.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to sit with the Lord and we're going to sort some things out on behalf of my business, but before then, I'm going to just have a slower pace.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to be present.
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[SPEAKER_00]: When I drive to work or wherever if you have a commute, I have the window down and I'm smelling the air and I'm thinking the law for the ability to breathe.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm paying attention to this person who's driving real fast and they seem as if they're in a rush.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm praying that they get to their destination safely.
34:24.012 --> 34:35.307
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm thinking, I'm thinking about a scripture that may resonate with me that maybe I read it this morning, maybe I heard it at church, maybe a friend of mine, and I had a conversation about it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I bring it up to the Lord as I'm driving casually.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Or I call somebody that I know is dealing with something as hell, are you okay?
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[SPEAKER_00]: How can I pray for you?
34:46.287 --> 35:02.524
[SPEAKER_00]: But do you want to see the difference in a lifestyle here, one feels fast and rushed and complicated and busy and has these little spiritual moments, but it's not a heart and a pace that's grounded in the things of the Lord.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And don't you see how in this dwelling and abiding lifestyle, the day to day isn't about all about us and what we got going on, we're truly being Christ alike, because we are being grateful, we're being present, we're honoring him and all of the, all of the things that we're doing, we're praying without ceasing, we're loving when the people in our lives and seeing how we can pray for them.
35:26.517 --> 35:36.510
[SPEAKER_00]: and then we address our businesses and things that we want to see God on at their given points, but our day is being influenced and focused on him.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And the pace is governed by him.
35:41.516 --> 35:45.181
[SPEAKER_00]: That's the key difference.
35:45.201 --> 35:55.073
[SPEAKER_00]: And anytime you slip, it is very easy to slip and scenario into scenario A.
35:55.610 --> 36:12.558
[SPEAKER_00]: air quotes, and to be frank, it's the most worldly because, you know, we have our space for our faith, and we do our faith activities, but our life is driven by the world's pace, the world's standards, and the world's conversations.
36:14.061 --> 36:20.031
[SPEAKER_00]: But the alternative B is set in its focus on the Lord.
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[SPEAKER_00]: and the results of a biting, the results of truly dwelling in him and dwelling not being one physical location because he's omnipresent.
36:33.295 --> 36:48.938
[SPEAKER_00]: So when I say dwelling in him, I mean just constantly searching for him and cultivating space internally where he is in control and when you're where you are submitted to him, that lifestyle is going to get you the peace that you're looking
36:48.918 --> 36:50.961
[SPEAKER_00]: There'll still be confusing things in business.
36:50.981 --> 37:00.978
[SPEAKER_00]: There'll still be stuff that comes up, but you'll need to work through that want to be the typical abs and flows and entrepreneurship, but you're going to be a lot more grounded in your decision making.
37:01.499 --> 37:11.635
[SPEAKER_00]: You're going to be a lot more clear in your direction and you won't have that paralysis because you have the confidence in knowing that should for whatever reason.
37:11.615 --> 37:21.025
[SPEAKER_00]: I go right and the Lord wanted me to go left because my lifestyle is such where I'm sensitive and dependent on him, he'll rule me back in.
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[SPEAKER_00]: He'll close the door or he'll shepherd me into a different lane.
37:27.692 --> 37:29.254
[SPEAKER_00]: And there's peace that comes with that.
37:29.314 --> 37:32.497
[SPEAKER_00]: So there's not this fear of doing the wrong thing anymore.
37:32.537 --> 37:38.263
[SPEAKER_00]: There's this trust that if I do do the wrong thing, I will be forgiving and I will be redirected.
37:39.155 --> 37:45.504
[SPEAKER_00]: And that makes all of the confusion that we talked about before, not even there.
37:45.544 --> 37:48.948
[SPEAKER_00]: And so that's my answer to that.
37:48.988 --> 37:59.984
[SPEAKER_00]: It's the foundation, it's the posture, it's the day-to-day flow that determines you being successful in doing business his way.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And it's important that I emphasize that it is very intentional.
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[SPEAKER_00]: because if you don't, it will be very easy to drift right back into scenario A, and to be frank as an entrepreneur, scenario A is going to be the norm.
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[SPEAKER_00]: People are going to be totally cool with
38:24.194 --> 38:29.980
[SPEAKER_00]: you being a Christian and you reading your word and going to church on Sundays and doing these faith-based activities.
38:30.040 --> 38:31.041
[SPEAKER_00]: Like that's not an issue.
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[SPEAKER_00]: When you decide that my life is going to be one that is dependent on the Holy Spirit, I'm going to quiet out a lot of this noise.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to slow down even when you want me to speed up.
38:43.795 --> 38:54.066
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to stop even when you may want me to keep going or I'm going to go right when you want me to go left simply because that's how the Lord is leading.
38:54.046 --> 39:06.132
[SPEAKER_00]: Typically, so also understand that the world that you're in of entrepreneurship and unfortunately a lot of Christian entrepreneurship too
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[SPEAKER_00]: is going to be one that is more conducive to scenario A, but you have to be committed to scenario B because that is a life where the Lord is carrying you, where you're not in the driver seat and asking him for help every now and then, but you're cultivating a life where you are dependent on him.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And you're being carried by him and led by him and you reap all the benefits of such the benefits of the peace, the benefit of being decisive, the benefit of being corrected when need be.
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[SPEAKER_00]: The benefit of being guided and comforted through all the ebs and flows of entrepreneurship, because it's a fun ride.
39:51.757 --> 39:55.103
[SPEAKER_00]: It is, I love love entrepreneurship.
39:55.825 --> 39:59.310
[SPEAKER_00]: And all of its craziness, it is a beautiful experience.
39:59.330 --> 40:13.412
[SPEAKER_00]: And to me, being a Christian entrepreneur, who's dependent on the Lord provides a level of security and peace that the world's version and the lukewarm Christian version could never provide.
40:15.738 --> 40:18.623
[SPEAKER_00]: So I prayed at that answer to your question, where are 40 minutes?
40:18.643 --> 40:21.528
[SPEAKER_00]: You all know, I love to give a deep dive into a question.
40:22.850 --> 40:26.156
[SPEAKER_00]: So like I said, I like to be thorough and a lot of us are dealing with the same things.
40:26.757 --> 40:29.462
[SPEAKER_00]: So I prayed at that answer to your question.
40:29.542 --> 40:34.531
[SPEAKER_00]: I prayed that any of you who are dealing with anything discussed here that this episode blessed you.
40:34.551 --> 40:37.476
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna do like two more this week.
40:37.456 --> 40:41.388
[SPEAKER_00]: So I'll be some back-to-back episodes coming out to answer the questions.
40:41.488 --> 40:43.374
[SPEAKER_00]: But thank you all so much for listening.
40:43.394 --> 40:45.018
[SPEAKER_00]: If you have a question, email it to me.
40:45.079 --> 40:46.844
[SPEAKER_00]: Tatum at TatumToMea.com.
40:47.426 --> 40:49.592
[SPEAKER_00]: I love you guys and I'll see you in the next episode.
00:00.031 --> 00:04.880
[SPEAKER_00]: You are listening to Blessed and Boston, presented by Anchor DeMedia.
00:05.522 --> 00:11.553
[SPEAKER_00]: In entrepreneurship podcasts for Christians, all about how to make God the CEO of your business.
00:12.175 --> 00:19.609
[SPEAKER_00]: Get ready to be inspired, challenged, but well equipped to live and build your destiny, his way.
00:27.655 --> 00:32.130
[SPEAKER_00]: Hey guys, welcome to another episode of the blessed ambassador podcast.
00:32.701 --> 00:43.531
[SPEAKER_00]: This week all week, I think when I get to episodes, maybe three, depending on how long it takes me, this week, where we are going to be answering your questions.
00:43.971 --> 00:48.635
[SPEAKER_00]: I send out an email last night, actually, asking if anybody had any questions.
00:48.655 --> 00:50.997
[SPEAKER_00]: We're on the last month of the first quarter of the year.
00:51.398 --> 01:02.708
[SPEAKER_00]: This is around those times where goals are still exciting, but you lost maybe a bit of that motivation
01:02.688 --> 01:13.723
[SPEAKER_00]: There may be some things that have gotten a little bit stale and I believe it's just a great time to check in and for me to answer your question So I'm excited to dive into the inbox.
01:13.743 --> 01:26.100
[SPEAKER_00]: If you ever want to have a question read aloud on this podcast You can always email it to me Tatum at TatumToMea.com I usually when I get them in between Episodes.
01:26.240 --> 01:32.408
[SPEAKER_00]: I'll just like flag it and store it into a folder that I refer back to for these episodes
01:32.388 --> 01:38.425
[SPEAKER_00]: So don't hesitate if you ever have a question to just email it to me, but I don't respond to you via email.
01:38.485 --> 01:42.617
[SPEAKER_00]: I definitely flag it so that I can answer it here on the show.
01:42.783 --> 01:46.330
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, as I was going through these emails, I, my heart is just so full.
01:47.131 --> 01:51.199
[SPEAKER_00]: This podcast is something I've been doing for a long time, nine years now.
01:52.020 --> 01:56.409
[SPEAKER_00]: And this space has always been like a community for me.
01:56.569 --> 02:01.919
[SPEAKER_00]: Even though when I'm recording this, it's usually just me sitting in a room, talking to myself.
02:02.660 --> 02:03.542
[SPEAKER_00]: But,
02:03.944 --> 02:08.792
[SPEAKER_00]: There's a love that I have for you all who listen to this podcast.
02:08.812 --> 02:13.360
[SPEAKER_00]: I know podcast and has become such a huge popular thing.
02:13.501 --> 02:15.063
[SPEAKER_00]: Everybody has a podcast.
02:15.163 --> 02:21.474
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like talk shows at this point with all the different video episodes and shows that are out there.
02:21.815 --> 02:24.720
[SPEAKER_00]: But this show started from my heart.
02:24.700 --> 02:29.506
[SPEAKER_00]: from my obedience and the community that is built here is one that I love.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I have met you guys over the years.
02:32.169 --> 02:34.953
[SPEAKER_00]: I met a listener like what two weeks ago.
02:35.313 --> 02:40.379
[SPEAKER_00]: We were both attending an open house for a school that we wanted to send our kids to.
02:40.479 --> 02:45.105
[SPEAKER_00]: She recognized me from the podcast that was such a exciting thing for me.
02:45.085 --> 02:50.470
[SPEAKER_00]: And I've met you guys at different events or speaking engagements or our tour.
02:50.850 --> 02:52.452
[SPEAKER_00]: Many of you have become clients.
02:52.852 --> 02:54.133
[SPEAKER_00]: Then become friends.
02:54.293 --> 02:55.775
[SPEAKER_00]: We're on a first name basis.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Like this show is a community that I love.
03:01.280 --> 03:15.092
[SPEAKER_00]: And when I get these questions, I'm always reminded how much I love this community because we are always, while you may look at me as somebody who pours into you
03:15.072 --> 03:40.725
[SPEAKER_00]: When I get your questions and I'm able to engage with you in this way, it makes me feel like we're in this together because a lot of things that I discuss every week here on the show are things that I personally am going through and getting real time revelation for or I might still be working through and so when I hear your questions and we're able to talk about it, it just feels to me it just adds a level of closeness that I particularly
03:40.705 --> 03:41.546
[SPEAKER_00]: enjoy.
03:41.947 --> 03:49.298
[SPEAKER_00]: So I love when we get to do these episodes and that's why I always take my time with the questions I don't rush through answering questions.
03:49.398 --> 04:00.756
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to be as thorough as possible because I look at it as I'm helping you But you're also helping me so without further ado, let's get into the first question.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It says first happy belated birthday.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I hope you had a beautiful day celebrating.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I've also really been missing you in the society.
04:10.131 --> 04:13.276
[SPEAKER_00]: I also like to send in a question for the podcast.
04:13.677 --> 04:23.014
[SPEAKER_00]: I recently came out of a three to four year relationship where I remain celebrating kept God first, but ultimately it ended because of deception.
04:22.994 --> 04:25.822
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm grateful that God removed me from it though.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It was still a meaningful season of my life.
04:28.409 --> 04:30.535
[SPEAKER_00]: I just turned 30 this past December.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Happy belated birthday to you too.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And one of the deepest desires of my heart has always been to become a wife and a mother.
04:37.996 --> 04:43.281
[SPEAKER_00]: However, I genuinely feel like God may be asking me to focus on other things for the next few years.
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[SPEAKER_00]: My question is, how do you hold space for those desires without letting them consume your focus in a season where you believe God is calling you to build or pursue something else?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes when I read our write my focus, I tend to shut the desire off completely, losing total interest just to move forward and I'm trying to find a healthier balance.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for creating space
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[SPEAKER_00]: So, first I want to talk about your response when you said that sometimes when I redirect my focus, I tend to shut the desire off completely just to move forward and I'm trying to find a healthier balance.
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[SPEAKER_00]: This is like typical
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[SPEAKER_00]: coping mechanism survival mode type of tactic.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It feels vulnerable and it feels unsafe to be in a position where you're desiring these things or it feels vulnerable and unsafe to allow yourself to desire motherhood and marriage while also
05:45.530 --> 05:50.847
[SPEAKER_00]: discerning that the Lord is leading you away from focusing on those things.
05:51.248 --> 05:57.227
[SPEAKER_00]: And so to cope, you disassociate or emotionally shut yourself off.
05:57.427 --> 06:04.543
[SPEAKER_00]: And that is probably a coping strategy that has served you well for your life.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not sure of your background of what you've been through, but I'm sure that those are strategies that have worked in the past.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I know for me, I'm the Queen of Disassociation.
06:15.888 --> 06:20.014
[SPEAKER_00]: that is a strategy that has helped me to survive for my whole life.
06:20.414 --> 06:28.044
[SPEAKER_00]: To where once I'm in a space where I don't feel safe, where I feel vulnerable, where I don't feel seen, I immediately shut my emotions off.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And that is something that I've also had to work through.
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[SPEAKER_00]: See the beauty and just being vulnerable and giving God my vulnerabilities, right?
06:41.168 --> 06:48.525
[SPEAKER_00]: So now if I talk to people and let's say I'm stressed about something and somebody's like Oh, no, it's going to be fine.
06:48.585 --> 06:49.607
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, hold on.
06:50.549 --> 06:56.098
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not going to allow you to guide me to rush through my feelings.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I feel uncomfortable, and so I'm just uncomfortable right now.
07:01.286 --> 07:05.813
[SPEAKER_00]: And in a moment or as time passes, I'll feel a little bit more comfortable.
07:05.833 --> 07:07.676
[SPEAKER_00]: But right now, I feel disappointed.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I feel let down.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I feel uncomfortable.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I feel insert whatever feeling from the feelings will here.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And then I'm going to move on, and not move on in a sense of brushing it off, but move on in a healthy way without negating my feelings or cutting my feelings off completely.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I found that personally to be a much healthier way to move forward in whatever is going on, then shutting my emotions off.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so here's how I suggest that you do that.
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[SPEAKER_00]: First things first, understand the enemy's tactic here.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Because I know something that works for me is when I feel like the enemy is slapping me around, usually that's enough to make me pull myself together.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Where I'm like, oh no, the enemy think he has an upper hand on me, please, no.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm about to deal with this right now and prayer.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm about to really address this issue.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so that helps me to refocus away from
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[SPEAKER_00]: sulking in my feelings or away from disassociating and focusing on okay there is something at hand that is trying to separate me from the will of God that's trying to separate me from the contentment that the Lord wants me to have that's trying to separate me from the trust that I can have in the Lord that's trying to separate me from the peace that surpasses all understanding
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not going to accept it and allow it to control me because that's what disassociation does.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Am I opinion?
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[SPEAKER_00]: It allows it's a byproduct of you allowing the enemy to get you to focus on your own survival mechanisms versus continuing to trust the Lord and his comfort.
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[SPEAKER_00]: A lot of us are okay with looking to God as being the deliverer, the healer, the action taker, but it is more difficult to look at God as simply our confeder.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We know how to call on him, we want him to move, but we don't know how to seek him to just sit with him, to just lay our head in his lap, like a child seeking comfort from a parent.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's harder for us a lot of times to do that, especially those of us who are self-sufficient and who suffer from being in survival mode.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I would first want to redirect you to
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[SPEAKER_00]: the enemy's manipulation tactics because I feel like that'll stir something up and you to help you really be able to focus back on not your own methods, but focus back on surrendering and allowing the Lord to guide you in this season.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Also, something that I tell women who I talk to who are a little younger than me, we do not expire at 30 and we have to stop allowing the world and church and Christian communities to make us feel like we do.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm 34 and I loved it to talk to my girl these who are in their late 20s, just turn 30 who are facing this clock of I want to be a wife.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I want to be married and you feel like it's not going to happen.
10:33.359 --> 10:39.087
[SPEAKER_00]: The enemy deceives you and feeling making you feel as if it's too late for you time is running out.
10:39.607 --> 10:47.798
[SPEAKER_00]: All of this these false senses of urgency just starts bubbling up on the inside of you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And if I can hop on my soapbox for a second, it bothers me how Christian spaces make this 10 times worse.
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[SPEAKER_00]: As if we do not know the spiritual implications of what happens when you become in covenant with someone, when you become one with someone through marriage, that is not a light decision.
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[SPEAKER_00]: and it blows my mind, why in Christian spaces, they're so quick to push you down the aisle, as if we don't understand the magnitude of the decision that is being made.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And then God forbid you marry the wrong one and you're dealing with toxicity in abuse and the list goes on, then they tell you to fight for your marriage, it's warfare, it's the enemy,
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[SPEAKER_00]: This was a bad decision.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, God can do anything and also.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Before we even get there, let us take a step back and not rush down the aisle.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Let's not get caught up in the fairy tale of it all, of the beautiful day of the wedding, of the beautiful holiday photos and all of the different things that we may see on social media, let's look beyond the smoke and mirrors and get to the root of the covenant.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That is a serious decision that needs to be made.
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[SPEAKER_00]: in that decision needs to ultimately be made sober.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And when I say sober, I mean free from the control of the emotion of how badly you may want to get married or have children.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so I bring this up, not just to be on my soapbox, but to also provide perspective on what the Lord may be teaching you directly or indirectly in this season of saying, hey, I know that these are the desires of your heart, but I want you to focus on something else right now.
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[SPEAKER_00]: because I believe that by you focusing on what he wants you to focus on, the byproduct of that is going to be a level of sobriety that if and when the Lord brings your husband to you,
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[SPEAKER_00]: you're not going to be looking at the situation with rose colored glasses.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You're going to be so focused on God and what he has you doing that you have sound mine and wisdom and discernment and good judgment when you finally do meet your husband.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I believe that that's beautiful and this is why I always tell my younger sisters and
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[SPEAKER_00]: Put marriage in motherhood on such a pedestal to where it robbed you of that sobriety.
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[SPEAKER_00]: because you need to make a sound decision.
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[SPEAKER_00]: When you decide that I am going to yoke myself to another individual till death do us part, that is a serious decision.
13:51.138 --> 14:01.894
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's just the marriage part, because if we add the motherhood aspect to that, being a mother is the hardest thing that I've ever done.
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[SPEAKER_00]: it is physically hard because your body grows another human, labor and delivery is hard because you're putting your life on a line to bring life into this world.
14:15.788 --> 14:19.835
[SPEAKER_00]: Postpartum is hard, breastfeeding is hard, all of it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's not easy.
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[SPEAKER_00]: to the journey to becoming a mother and then was even more difficult in my opinion is the responsibility that you have as a parent to raise this gift that the Lord has blessed you with.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so I say being a mother is the hardest thing that I've ever done because it is the most serious thing in my opinion that I've ever done because every little thing I think about, I think about was my tone okay and my representing Christ correctly to my children or they want to grow up and not want anything to do with the law because of a mistake that I made.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I did I make this right decision when it comes to my child.
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[SPEAKER_00]: My husband and I, man, we sometimes will stay up late, right in our brain about things and when it comes to our kids and things that we may notice and how we want to cultivate that.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'll tell y'all stories about my kids all the time on the show.
15:24.916 --> 15:35.655
[SPEAKER_00]: And we talk about like, man, I've noticed that one of them did X, Y, Z, and I really want to nurture that or I really want to correct that without stifling it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: He has these great leadership qualities, but he's a child.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So he has to still be obedient, but I don't want to stifle his leadership.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So how do I do that?
15:45.553 --> 15:47.937
[SPEAKER_00]: How do I parent well?
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[SPEAKER_00]: and correct behaviors without crushing his spirit.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Like all of these nuanced things, it is serious, it's serious.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And we stay up late and have conversations about ways in which we want to approach different things or how we want to parent our kids.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We hold each other accountable.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Their times are my husband.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I feel like might be being a little bit too tough when our sons and our, we've stint toes down together when we're together.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We tell our kids all the time, we're a team.
16:17.903 --> 16:45.531
[SPEAKER_00]: Whatever he say I say whatever I say he say whatever like we're one But when they leave I might be like hey, I think that that was a little bit too much in my husband Like all right, I'll let me go back in apologize or correct or whatever and saying for me He might be like hey, I think you need to take a walk you get in a little agitated or whatever and I'll go Take a beat and come back, but it takes I say all that to say it takes a level of
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's so intentional, it's so serious, it's so taxing, mentally, and physically.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It is the most rewarding thing that I've ever done.
16:54.887 --> 17:06.085
[SPEAKER_00]: And there are some questions that come up that I'll share as it's relevant, but I say all that to say while marriage and motherhood are beautiful,
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[SPEAKER_00]: They also require levels of work and intentionality.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I feel like because of that, they shouldn't be rushed.
17:16.690 --> 17:25.521
[SPEAKER_00]: And I feel like because of that, you should very much so enjoy the season that you're in before you become a parent.
17:25.941 --> 17:34.772
[SPEAKER_00]: I believe one of the best things that I did before becoming a parent was make sure that I was in the space where I was constable with myself first.
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[SPEAKER_00]: where I will always hear women say how they lost themselves and motherhood.
17:38.523 --> 17:39.685
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't feel like that at all.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Even at law school now, when my classmates will be like, do you miss your kids?
17:43.651 --> 17:46.915
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I don't even know how you have little kids and you're still in school.
17:46.935 --> 17:47.977
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, I love my kids.
17:48.017 --> 17:49.239
[SPEAKER_00]: I can't wait to get home to them.
17:49.339 --> 17:52.103
[SPEAKER_00]: And also, like, I'm still, I'm still me.
17:53.450 --> 17:57.798
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't feel like it makes me a better mother to totally disappear in motherhood.
17:57.879 --> 18:01.125
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't believe that that is right at all.
18:01.826 --> 18:06.636
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I'm very comfortable with who I am, I'm established and who I am.
18:06.976 --> 18:12.066
[SPEAKER_00]: And I believe that that adds to my ability to be a good mother.
18:13.312 --> 18:29.150
[SPEAKER_00]: And I attribute that comfortability and self-confidence to really just enjoying myself and focusing on myself before having children, building and starting the things that the Lord directed to me before I had children.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I always give the advice to enjoy the season, because once you have kids, you're responsible for them for the rest of your life.
18:42.151 --> 18:46.616
[SPEAKER_00]: And so you will be submitted to inserving your husband and your household for the rest of your life.
18:46.957 --> 18:49.800
[SPEAKER_00]: And you have the benefit right now to just serve God in yourself.
18:50.261 --> 19:11.466
[SPEAKER_00]: And not yourself in a sinful way, but I mean, like, you know, serve the Lord and have fun and do the things that you like and go to a concert in the middle of the week or go travel to a different country or buy that house that you want to buy and do all the things that you want to do as long as they're not sinful.
19:12.070 --> 19:18.722
[SPEAKER_00]: But to answer your question, though, your ultimate question of how do I still hold space for these desires.
19:19.698 --> 19:26.668
[SPEAKER_00]: Even when it's not God's time for them, it's such a wise question and it's here's how you do it.
19:27.470 --> 19:37.525
[SPEAKER_00]: You focus on the Lord and what he has you focused on in the season and you let yourself still have that desire fight the urge to disassociate.
19:38.586 --> 19:46.498
[SPEAKER_00]: And with allowing yourself to feel that desire, there will be times where disappointment is pop up.
19:47.035 --> 19:54.748
[SPEAKER_00]: when you hear that somebody you know was having a baby and it's things a little bit, no thoughts come in of God, when is it going to happen for me?
19:55.389 --> 20:04.764
[SPEAKER_00]: Pain, that next birthday come in and now you're 32 when you're like, oh man, my biological clock is ticking and all those thoughts try to creep in.
20:07.148 --> 20:13.178
[SPEAKER_00]: Allow yourself to feel them, allow yourself to be present.
20:13.445 --> 20:17.570
[SPEAKER_00]: And then you submit those thoughts for the Lord and you seek Him for comfort.
20:18.772 --> 20:30.887
[SPEAKER_00]: As you continue to obey Him, because that posture is gonna serve you well, even when you walk into these roles, because they're gonna be times where being a mother doesn't feel good.
20:30.907 --> 20:42.642
[SPEAKER_00]: And you have to feel the feels of whatever the situation is and you're gonna have to trust God to comfort you, and to lead you as you as you are serving your family.
20:42.622 --> 20:56.783
[SPEAKER_00]: There's going to be a time where you and your husband have conflict and it's not going to feel good and you have to feel not disassociate because that's not beneficial for any relationship, not the relationship with God, the people around you or yourself.
20:58.484 --> 21:03.214
[SPEAKER_00]: You're going to have to feel those feels and you're going to have to let the Lord be your guide and your computer.
21:03.494 --> 21:08.584
[SPEAKER_00]: So everything that he's doing in you right now will be relevant for every season to come.
21:09.005 --> 21:11.631
[SPEAKER_00]: And so hold on to those desires.
21:12.052 --> 21:13.955
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't disassociate from them.
21:14.316 --> 21:20.188
[SPEAKER_00]: And when and if the disappointment comes, just feel it and it cling to the Lord even more.
21:20.894 --> 21:28.033
[SPEAKER_00]: If it's come to the point where it's like too much, don't disassociate, but just protect that.
21:28.053 --> 21:34.009
[SPEAKER_00]: So let's say social media and all the posts that come up are triggering for you.
21:35.103 --> 21:38.472
[SPEAKER_00]: unfollow pages block certain people mute certain pages.
21:38.512 --> 21:42.002
[SPEAKER_00]: They won't even know that they're muted so that you're not seeing those things.
21:42.022 --> 21:51.407
[SPEAKER_00]: So don't allow yourself to be tormented so to speak, but also don't associate disassociate either keep that picture's board.
21:51.387 --> 21:58.077
[SPEAKER_00]: Keep that pinchless board of what ring that you like and what dress and what your colors you want your bras made to wear one day.
21:58.097 --> 22:12.298
[SPEAKER_00]: I think that's just a joyful part of desires, especially when we're not in the seasons yet where you get, there's something to me light and beautiful and exciting about just the dreaming part.
22:12.565 --> 22:14.549
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm wondering what my kids are going to look like one day.
22:14.649 --> 22:18.917
[SPEAKER_00]: I wonder what dress I'm going to wear on my wedding day.
22:18.957 --> 22:20.099
[SPEAKER_00]: What my colors are going to be.
22:20.500 --> 22:26.912
[SPEAKER_00]: Just little things like that, the little girly things that a lot of us enjoy, still enjoy those things.
22:27.517 --> 22:33.765
[SPEAKER_00]: But if it ever starts to drive you into impatience, that's when you take a step back.
22:34.666 --> 22:41.355
[SPEAKER_00]: So self-awareness will help guide you in what this balance looks like at any given point in time.
22:42.016 --> 22:50.487
[SPEAKER_00]: But again, I think that you should take the advice and the practical things that we've discussed and I think that'll be really helpful for you.
22:50.467 --> 22:54.151
[SPEAKER_00]: The next question says, Hey Tatum, I've been listening to your podcast since 2018.
22:55.152 --> 23:03.882
[SPEAKER_00]: Back then, I listened because I appreciate your practical spiritual advice, but last year, I transitioned into entrepreneurship and now the podcast is differently.
23:04.463 --> 23:11.430
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm well aware of the importance of spending time with the Holy Spirit, fasting, and reading the word for direction, and strategy in my business.
23:11.851 --> 23:18.398
[SPEAKER_00]: But sometimes, I struggle to know whether I'm truly waiting on God for direction, or if I'm procrastinating on taking action.
23:18.378 --> 23:19.741
[SPEAKER_00]: How do you know the difference?
23:19.841 --> 23:24.791
[SPEAKER_00]: How do you discern when it's time to move versus when you need to sit with something a little longer?
23:24.831 --> 23:34.530
[SPEAKER_00]: For context, about a month after I decided to take my business seriously, I was accepted into a business accelerator through Intuit and the National Urban Lead.
23:34.510 --> 23:36.213
[SPEAKER_00]: Congratulations, that's awesome.
23:37.175 --> 23:43.626
[SPEAKER_00]: As the first entrepreneur my family, getting accepted into that program, felt like God's provision because he knew I'd need it guidance.
23:44.027 --> 23:46.872
[SPEAKER_00]: It felt like confirmation that I was headed in the right direction.
23:47.553 --> 23:58.813
[SPEAKER_00]: Now I'm in a season of clarifying my message, positioning in the services I offer, but I'm so afraid of stepping out of alignment that I sometimes overthink everything which leads to me doing nothing.
23:58.793 --> 24:10.609
[SPEAKER_00]: How do you know you're on the right track while building isn't normal to feel like you have no idea what you're doing but still move forward with wisdom and faith anyway any insight you share with me in a lot.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Girl, first of all, congratulations.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That is amazing.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Getting into the accelerator is no small thing.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I know a lot of times we like to downplay stuff as it's no big deal, but no, we're gonna take a second.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna give you a round of applause.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's amazing.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm so proud of you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Congratulations on that.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I do believe that it's the Lord answering a prayer and giving you guidance.
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[SPEAKER_00]: that you need to build your business practical guidance as well and connections and things that at nature.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So that's that's major.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Now to I'm going to start with their last question, is it normal to feel like you have no idea what you're doing, but still move forward with wisdom and faith any any way.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Girl, yes, is a normal, absolutely.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to entrepreneurship, especially Christian entrepreneurship, because as a believer in an entrepreneur, we,
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[SPEAKER_00]: we sit in this, what feels like such a messy space of our spiritual life, our praying, our fasting in, our reading our word in, seeking the Holy Spirit on guidance, while also in this business world of
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[SPEAKER_00]: Positioning and messaging and marketing and sales and reports and accounting and legal like all of that is also in our head And then we have this pressure a lot of times as black women entrepreneurs.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We have this pressure
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[SPEAKER_00]: we have a lack of resources, we don't have many other people who have built something successful from nothing.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So we had this self-doubt, we had this imposter syndrome, we had a real need for resources, not necessarily knowing where to go, then being a pulled one.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, I have this
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[SPEAKER_00]: business resource, but is it going to contradict the Lord?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Or I have this spiritual answer, but then I don't see how that fully translates into the practical side that's going to help me make the money.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so all of these things live in our head at the exact same time and it causes us to overthink.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It causes us to be overwhelmed.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It causes decision paralysis to where we don't do
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[SPEAKER_00]: I mean that I hit everything.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I been doing this for a long time.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So girl, I see you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We see each other.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We right here.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, it is completely normal.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And here is my solution.
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[SPEAKER_00]: None of this is going to make sense.
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[SPEAKER_00]: None of the noise is going to quiet and no decision is going to be made easier without this one thing.
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[SPEAKER_00]: adopt this perspective as you pursue entrepreneurship.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Everything that you listed out, your spending time in the world, your praying, your fasting and all of the spiritual activity is wonderful.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's necessary.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And what's going to make it click is you looking at the Lord as your dwelling
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[SPEAKER_00]: and prioritizing a biting in here.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Hear me out.
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[SPEAKER_00]: A dwelling place is a home.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It is somewhere that you live.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It is somewhere that you always go back to.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It is somewhere that you cultivate.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It is somewhere that you rest, you reside, right?
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[SPEAKER_00]: When we look at the Lord in that way, and we make Him our place of refuge, our dwelling place.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It quiets all of these competing interests in our minds.
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[SPEAKER_00]: because our spirituality is not just mentally-lived experience, because the reason why things feel so abnormal is because it's all happening in your mind.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so it's all loud, it's all conflicting, it's confusing, and it's paralyzing.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But when we look at the Lord as our dwelling place,
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[SPEAKER_00]: When we decide that we are going to truly abide in him as he's called us to, there is a closeness that goes beyond just the spiritual activity or just us thinking about what he wants us to do or just talking to him throughout the day.
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[SPEAKER_00]: There is this piece, there is this ease, there is this flow, there is this pace that happened when you adopt the understanding that your life has to be won to where you dwell in the presence of the most high, where you abide in him in him and you and then you bear much fruit as the scripture says.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so what that looks like is, and I'm going to paint the difference of what
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[SPEAKER_00]: I mean and as far as like what this looks like on a day to day and what it doesn't look like.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So a lot of times what happens and this is what it doesn't look like.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We have our spiritual activity.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So we wake up, we read our Bible, we read our devotional, we pray, and then we go about our day.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Our date is just lived very regularly and very much so in the everyday world.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We listen to a secular music, we have conversations that may not be edifying, we watch whatever one you do, but listen to whatever podcast, like that, the spiritual part of our life is compartmentalized to that hour or so in the morning.
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[SPEAKER_00]: until maybe let's say a decision needs to be made and you recognize that you need to pray about it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So then you kind of shut off those outside things and then you sit with the Lord or let's say something is going on in your business and you want to see him for that thing.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You invite him back in at that point and so these spiritual moments are moments.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's not this full lifestyle.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You may listen to a sermon throughout the day as more so motivation.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But there are these compartmentalized spiritual activities that happen throughout the day.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But your focus, your attention, which are listening to watching, et cetera, is generally spent in the world and the world's perspective.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And that may not seem super detrimental,
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[SPEAKER_00]: But it is, because those things that we listen to, watch the conversations we engage in, all of these things that we give our attention to, that are not pure, they then impact us and add to this noise that we describe, and then we get into that space of feeling like everything is all over the place or overthinking and not sure and all of that.
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[SPEAKER_00]: happens in my opinion when your day-to-day looks like what I just described.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Now, here's the alternative of dwelling and abiding.
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[SPEAKER_00]: This way of going about your life and your business is cultivated in such a way to where your biggest influence is the Holy Spirit
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[SPEAKER_00]: where your mind and your heart seeks him in all things.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So what this looks like is when you wake up in the morning, your phone is on D&D.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Nobody's able to have access to you until you allow them to, right, phone is on D&D.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You wake up, you play, uh, let's say some instrumentals while you get ready for your day.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Or you have the same one and routine.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Uh, you read your word, you read your devotional.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But instead of just checking these things off and moving on, you take a moment.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And you just sit with the Lord.
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[SPEAKER_00]: where your time with him isn't just always asking for things or speaking at all, but you're just sitting and saying, good morning, father, I'm here.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And you have your notebook in case he decides to download something or show you something, or you just sit in his presence.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And then from there, you move on, let's say you, whatever your routine is and you want to listen to something and you might listen to some gospel music, you may listen to some, let's say prophetic instrumentals, you may just go to the Bible app on your phone and press play and let the word play in the background while you get dressed or load the car or whatever the case may be as you're going through your commute.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And let me backtrack as you're doing these small things, you're seeking and searching for the Lord, your mindful and present as if opposed to being in your head.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Now, this previous life that we described, it's a lot happening mentally.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You're thinking about all you have to do that day.
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[SPEAKER_00]: There's this mental checklist, productivity.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I gotta do this and oh, I want to do this in my business and I'm learning this about the messaging and I wonder how that's going to apply.
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[SPEAKER_00]: The dwelling and abiding lifestyle is one in which you recognize that those things need to get addressed, but you're in no rush to address everything at once.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You understand that, okay, I don't know three p.m.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to sit with the Lord and we're going to sort some things out on behalf of my business, but before then, I'm going to just have a slower pace.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to be present.
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[SPEAKER_00]: When I drive to work or wherever if you have a commute, I have the window down and I'm smelling the air and I'm thinking the law for the ability to breathe.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm paying attention to this person who's driving real fast and they seem as if they're in a rush.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm praying that they get to their destination safely.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm thinking, I'm thinking about a scripture that may resonate with me that maybe I read it this morning, maybe I heard it at church, maybe a friend of mine, and I had a conversation about it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I bring it up to the Lord as I'm driving casually.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Or I call somebody that I know is dealing with something as hell, are you okay?
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[SPEAKER_00]: How can I pray for you?
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[SPEAKER_00]: But do you want to see the difference in a lifestyle here, one feels fast and rushed and complicated and busy and has these little spiritual moments, but it's not a heart and a pace that's grounded in the things of the Lord.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And don't you see how in this dwelling and abiding lifestyle, the day to day isn't about all about us and what we got going on, we're truly being Christ alike, because we are being grateful, we're being present, we're honoring him and all of the, all of the things that we're doing, we're praying without ceasing, we're loving when the people in our lives and seeing how we can pray for them.
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[SPEAKER_00]: and then we address our businesses and things that we want to see God on at their given points, but our day is being influenced and focused on him.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And the pace is governed by him.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's the key difference.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And anytime you slip, it is very easy to slip and scenario into scenario A.
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[SPEAKER_00]: air quotes, and to be frank, it's the most worldly because, you know, we have our space for our faith, and we do our faith activities, but our life is driven by the world's pace, the world's standards, and the world's conversations.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But the alternative B is set in its focus on the Lord.
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[SPEAKER_00]: and the results of a biting, the results of truly dwelling in him and dwelling not being one physical location because he's omnipresent.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So when I say dwelling in him, I mean just constantly searching for him and cultivating space internally where he is in control and when you're where you are submitted to him, that lifestyle is going to get you the peace that you're looking
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[SPEAKER_00]: There'll still be confusing things in business.
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[SPEAKER_00]: There'll still be stuff that comes up, but you'll need to work through that want to be the typical abs and flows and entrepreneurship, but you're going to be a lot more grounded in your decision making.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You're going to be a lot more clear in your direction and you won't have that paralysis because you have the confidence in knowing that should for whatever reason.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I go right and the Lord wanted me to go left because my lifestyle is such where I'm sensitive and dependent on him, he'll rule me back in.
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[SPEAKER_00]: He'll close the door or he'll shepherd me into a different lane.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And there's peace that comes with that.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So there's not this fear of doing the wrong thing anymore.
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[SPEAKER_00]: There's this trust that if I do do the wrong thing, I will be forgiving and I will be redirected.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And that makes all of the confusion that we talked about before, not even there.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so that's my answer to that.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's the foundation, it's the posture, it's the day-to-day flow that determines you being successful in doing business his way.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And it's important that I emphasize that it is very intentional.
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[SPEAKER_00]: because if you don't, it will be very easy to drift right back into scenario A, and to be frank as an entrepreneur, scenario A is going to be the norm.
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[SPEAKER_00]: People are going to be totally cool with
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[SPEAKER_00]: you being a Christian and you reading your word and going to church on Sundays and doing these faith-based activities.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Like that's not an issue.
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[SPEAKER_00]: When you decide that my life is going to be one that is dependent on the Holy Spirit, I'm going to quiet out a lot of this noise.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to slow down even when you want me to speed up.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to stop even when you may want me to keep going or I'm going to go right when you want me to go left simply because that's how the Lord is leading.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Typically, so also understand that the world that you're in of entrepreneurship and unfortunately a lot of Christian entrepreneurship too
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[SPEAKER_00]: is going to be one that is more conducive to scenario A, but you have to be committed to scenario B because that is a life where the Lord is carrying you, where you're not in the driver seat and asking him for help every now and then, but you're cultivating a life where you are dependent on him.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And you're being carried by him and led by him and you reap all the benefits of such the benefits of the peace, the benefit of being decisive, the benefit of being corrected when need be.
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[SPEAKER_00]: The benefit of being guided and comforted through all the ebs and flows of entrepreneurship, because it's a fun ride.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It is, I love love entrepreneurship.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And all of its craziness, it is a beautiful experience.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And to me, being a Christian entrepreneur, who's dependent on the Lord provides a level of security and peace that the world's version and the lukewarm Christian version could never provide.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I prayed at that answer to your question, where are 40 minutes?
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[SPEAKER_00]: You all know, I love to give a deep dive into a question.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So like I said, I like to be thorough and a lot of us are dealing with the same things.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I prayed at that answer to your question.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I prayed that any of you who are dealing with anything discussed here that this episode blessed you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna do like two more this week.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I'll be some back-to-back episodes coming out to answer the questions.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But thank you all so much for listening.
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[SPEAKER_00]: If you have a question, email it to me.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Tatum at TatumToMea.com.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I love you guys and I'll see you in the next episode.
