Is It Too Late

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Hello and welcome back to 40 ish and figuring it out, the podcast where we asked the questions no one warned us would show up around 40 and try to answer them without pretending we have it all together.
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I'm your host, Katie Collicker.
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Last week we kicked off this series with a big one, who am I now?
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And judging by the messages and quiet, oh wow, same reactions, that question hit home for a lot of us.
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If you haven't listened yet, I'd start there because today's question tends to show up right after that one.
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But before we jump in, quick housekeeping.
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If this podcast feels like something you wish you had a few years ago, or something you really need right now, I'd love it if you'd subscribe, leave a rating, or share it with a friend.
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It helps this little corner of honesty find more women who are also figuring it out.
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Usually in yoga pants with a cold coffee.
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Alright, let's get into today's question.
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Is it too late?
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Alright, so is it too late to change careers?
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To start over, to go back to school, to fall in love again, or finally do something you've been quietly googling at midnight.
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And my personal favorite is Is it too late to be the version of myself I actually like?
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Because nothing makes you feel more ancient quite like technology updates, a pop song you don't recognize, or realizing your five-year plan was fifteen years ago.
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So here's what I've noticed.
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The question isn't really about time, it's about fear.
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Fear of looking foolish, fear of starting at the bottom, fear of being seen trying, and not being instantly good at it.
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In our 40s, we've collected experience and along it and along with it expectations.
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We're used to being competent, we know how to do things, we don't love being beginners anymore.
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And yet, almost everything meaningful, meaningful requires us to begin one again.
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I know when I was originally starting out in podcasting, it was something that I had been toying with for a few months, and I started my other soccer podcast first, and I got really into that.
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I I really like this platform, and I really think it's helpful for those people that choose to listen to it.
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I know that there are some people who don't like to listen to podcasts.
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I'm I, with my job and driving in different things, it's a lot easier for me to take in information, doing audiobooks, um, listening to music, and then listening to podcasts because that's how I get a lot of my information or stories and things.
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I hear recommendations for shows that I eventually watch from podcasts and different things.
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I find other podcasts through podcasts, so I find it to be very helpful for me.
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Um if you're new to listening to podcasts, I never I I remember being young and getting in the car with my dad who would listen to talk radio all the time, and it was like boring, but I love that podcasting gives people more flexibility to be able to speak on specific topics, relevant topics to different niches, and so I've really I've really enjoyed that, and there were is a lot of fear with doing it because I'm not a professional in any way.
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I didn't go to school for podcasting, but I've always been I guess a performer.
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Um and so I feel like I I don't know, I I put myself out there when I would perform and and do those types of things.
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Um, so I feel like I was pretty comfortable with being able to do it, but there is also the fear of you know the haters, the trolls, and things like that, because there are people who are just awful out there.
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And um, so putting yourself out there in platforms like this, you know, radio show hosts, TV show hosts, different things, like it's it's very you're putting yourself out there.
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So anyway, that that's something that could definitely hold people back from trying something like that.
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And if you've ever thought about trying to have a podcast or get into podcasting or something, you know, reach out to me or a you know, a friend, maybe somebody else that you know that does it.
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I have a friend who was recommended with her new business to start a podcast, and so I was like, hey, I would love to help you in any way.
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I um gave her information to somebody else that was looking to help um get people going on podcasts from the ground floor.
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They didn't want to help me because I had already started publishing my podcast, um, even though I was only like one or two episodes in, but they were like, yeah, no, we want to um help people from the ground floor.
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So I don't know if she's being helped by them at all.
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Um, but if you're listening, Brooke, I'm also here if you still need help.
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Um anyway, excuse me.
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So the fear of starting it.
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That is a lot of at least in this space, what I hear people talk about is the fear of putting their information out there and that they'll get rejected.
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And when I started podcasting, it wasn't very easy.
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I wasn't super, I don't know, talkative.
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I I'm not really sure, but it gets easier as you do it more, which that's how everything is.
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It comes easier after you've done it over and over.
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Alright, so moving on, I guess.
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Trying to get over that fear.
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Um, so let's be honest.
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Starting over at 40 hits different.
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At 25, you're like, sure, I'll try that.
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What's the worst that could happen?
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And at 40, you're like, okay, but that's the wor what's the worst case scenario, the backup plan, the emotional fallout, and will this require a bra with extra support?
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Because, like, for me, I would love to do podcasting full-time or something in that realm.
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I'm also I've got some other creative ideas that I would love to be able to do, but I also need to be making money, and as of right now, I have no podcast sponsors, so if you're interested in that or know anybody, send them my way.
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But a lot of podcasters, independent podcasters, they don't have any sponsorships or anything like that, they're just doing it to do it because they like it.
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Um, I'm not making any money from this, so maybe down the road I will, but I'm not a top 10% or 1% or anything in podcasting.
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So for me, if I decided to one day quit my day job and my night job and just do podcasting full time, I could do it more and I could reach out to people and things like that that I don't have time to do.
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But it's definitely scary.
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Here's the lie that we've been sold: that there's a timeline, that we missed it, that everyone else got the memo except us.
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But most of that pressure, it's imaginary or outdated, could be borrowed from people who never lived your life.
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40 isn't the end of possibility, it's the point where you finally have enough information to choose differently.
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And I really love that because there's a lot of people who would want to try something new, and people are like, No, what are you thinking?
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My dad had a job, um, very secure job for a company for a long time.
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He's a design build architect, and when I was, I don't remember how old, but he was in his 40s and he started his own business.
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Now it was in the same niche, same realm, but he broke off on his own and he started out on his own.
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Now he was able to have, I'm assuming, business loans and things like that, and he already had relationships with a lot of people in in his area and things like that.
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So it it wasn't hard for him to build a clientele, but again, leaving a steady paying job that has benefits and things like that is really difficult, and starting over and starting out on your own is really difficult, and you have to be ready for that.
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So, for a personal story for me, I took a job for a like a family friend, and the contract was basically for one year.
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I was kind of not really loving the job that I was at.
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It I I didn't really know where I was gonna be going with it, and so I decided to take this other job, and it was just for a year, and it was fine, like it was okay, it was different.
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Um it it yeah, I some of it wasn't really what I expected it, some of it was what it was, and anyway, now when I look back on it, would I have taken that job knowing what I know now?
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Probably not, but I do have some good friendships that came out of that, and I never would have met those people had it not been for that job, but yeah, when I think back on that, that was kind of a year that was a transition year for me, and it was I think it was when we were moving, and maybe it wasn't.
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I I don't even I don't even remember so long ago, but um I was in my 20s, and it was gonna pay me a little bit better and the opportunity for possible bonuses and things like that, and some things that happened afterwards were kind of eh, I I didn't really love, but um, I did it, and then I was able to move on and get another job later.
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But yeah, it's one of those where if I had known the things I know now, I probably wouldn't have.
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But again, I gained a really good friendship with one of the women that I worked with, and I don't know if I would trade that.
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You know, I never would have met that person had I not taken that job, and um, I was able to be there for her when her brother passed away, and I've kept in touch with her.
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She was my hairstylist for several years, and you know, I've kept in touch with her all throughout these years, even though she's moved to another state, um, watching her little family grow and things like that.
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So I don't know.
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Like, I I feel like I was meant to be friends with her.
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So, Marcy, if you're listening, love you.
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But as far as that job job, probably wouldn't do it again.
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All right.
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We treat age like a disadvantage, but what if it's actually the upgrade?
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You know what you don't want now, you know what drains you, you know that you'll never tolerate it again.
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That's not being late, that's being informed.
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You're not starting from scratch, you're starting from experience with fewer illusions and better boundaries.
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And I totally feel that.
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Like there's certain things that kind of leave a bad taste in your mouth, and you're like, I'll never do that again.
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Like that, because you didn't know that whatever that experience was, you you didn't know about it till you experienced it, and then you're like, Yeah, I'm gonna take this information and duly note it for next time something like this comes up, and I'll make sure that whatever it is doesn't happen again.
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And that could be in any case, like it could be, you know, you had an interaction with a family member and you needed to set boundaries with them for the next holiday or something like that.
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I don't know.
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Like it could really could be anything.
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Also, can we agree starting over with emotional intelligence and a decent credit score is wildly underrated?
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If we're honest, the question isn't usually, is it too late?
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It's usually what if I fail?
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What if people judge me?
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What if I change and my life has to change too?
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Because wanting something new often means admitting that what we have isn't fully enough anymore.
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And that can feel scary and lonely and very inconvenient.
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So, one of the things that I have talked about on this podcast recently was um maybe one of one of my goals for this year is to write a book, which I'm actually gonna maybe table that or push it back a little bit.
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I've come up with a wildly amazing idea for a script for either a movie or a limited series.
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So if you guys know anybody in the biz, I know I have some contacts and things, and I've been getting feedback about different angles that I could start with, but I'm gonna be writing this script for, like I said, um maybe a a movie or a limited series, and um I've never done it before, you know.
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I didn't want my my inexperience, like I I I feel like I have this huge creative bubble around me um that's trying to come out.
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I like I said, the podcasting thing has really helped me be a little bit creative.
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Um and I've I've been going I went to my first fly dance fitness class this week, and I'm gonna be going to a couple more this week and next week um to give that a try.
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I've I've enjoyed it so far.
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The first class was fun, a lot harder than I thought.
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Just because it says 101 on the end of it does not mean that it is like a baby beginner thing, but it definitely was a great workout.
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So shout out to Nicole.
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Um, but I have fear of trying to pursue that for many reasons.
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I'm not in the business, I have been in the film industry world locally here.
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Um, so like I said, I know people and I have some contacts from some sets and things that I've been on, but not like huge.
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And anyway, I've never written a screenplay before, a script or anything like that.
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So I'm developing the story.
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I have visions of the story and scenes and things going through my head and and things that I would like to be included, obviously.
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But um, yeah, there is that fear that, and I know that it will probably not get picked up, but I want to be able to say that I did it.
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But there is also the fear of doing it and putting myself out there, and obviously it it would be my very first one.
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I mean, what are the odds that my very first idea would actually be picked up and come to life?
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That would be amazing.
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I would love that.
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And maybe if for some reason I could get investors to even make it like a I don't know, an independent film, something, I don't know.
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I will I would love it.
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It would be I I think the story would resonate with a lot of people, but I'm still gonna move forward with it.
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So I'm excited about that.
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But there, you know, there's like I said, there's a lot of hesitation for me to obviously keep doing what I'm already doing.
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I you know, my job, my day job, and my night job, the things that I'm already doing, and disrupting that, it's kind of I mean, it's a little scary.
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Mostly for me right now is the financial aspect of it.
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Um if if I knew that we we could be supported for a few months without me having to work, I would I would probably quit and just focus on doing that or ask for leave or something like that.
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But I don't I don't know.
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I don't know if that'll happen.
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Um and that's fine.
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So I'll do a little bit here and a little bit there and keep doing the podcasts and all that jazz.
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But it's definitely definitely different.
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And yeah.
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And I don't and I don't feel like because there's a lot of times where people feel like, you know, age or anything like that.
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I don't think that I'm old, old.
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I don't think that I've passed that part.
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So I'm kind of excited for that.
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I actually feel like my age and knowledge and wisdom and lived experiences will actually help me help me for for this.
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So I'm kind of excited about that.
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But here's the part we don't say enough.
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The time will pass either way.
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Five years from now will show up whether you tried or not.
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The only difference is will you be five years older and wondering, or five years older and living differently?
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You don't need certainty, you don't need permission, you don't need a full plan.
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You just need enough courage to take the next step.
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So if you've been thinking about starting your own business, I know I've had discussions about starting a business and idea I have ideas up the wazoo.
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If somebody wants an idea on something, just mention something to me and I will totally hit you back.
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I I definitely could have ideas for you.
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If you can, pause with this question.
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If it wasn't too late, what would I let myself want?
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Not to commit to, not announce to anyone, just want.
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If you're asking this question, it doesn't mean you've missed your chance.
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It means you're paying attention, and that might be the most on time thing there is.
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So in our next episode, we're talking about exhaustion.
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Why am I so tired?
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Spoiler alert, it's probably not because you're doing life wrong.
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Until then, be kind to yourself.
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You're not late, you're right where change begins.
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Thanks for listening, and I'll see you in the next episode.
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Also, again, please make sure to rate, review, and subscribe.
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If you could give a five star review on Apple or Spotify, that really helps the podcast become more visible to more listeners who want to hear this information.
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information and please share and if you share anything on social media tag me in it I would love to be able to hear from you guys all right but again we'll see you in the next episode 40 ish and figuring it out is produced and edited by me Katie Collicker Sound Mixing also me we're a very efficient one woman show over here.
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The music for this episode was created using the Suno app.
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Special thanks to Suno for providing licensed royalty free music through their platform.
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Thank you so much for listening and I'll see you in the next episode.