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Connor Bartley: Welcome to the Low Down Mortgage Podcast, the show where we dive deep into the topics that directly impact the mortgage architects that are building design into their business to unlock scale and achieve freedom. I'm your host, Connor Bartley. Bam! And joining me today is someone who started her career with no training, no mentor, and absolutely no roadmap, calling telemarketing leads and handwriting 1003s. And she figured out through 26 years of hardwon lessons about what it actually takes to build a mortgage business that does not burn you out. So she is now building something new, focused on mentoring other women in the industry and helping loan officers get out of their own way. Lori Nelson, welcome to the low down.
Laurie Nelson: Thanks, Connor. This is this is gonna be fun. I l I love talking about this so can't
Connor Bartley: Absolutely. Well, I'm excited to have you here. It's been great getting to know you and learning a little bit about what you're focused on, what energizes you, your point of view. It's I'm excited for the guests or for the audience to hear what you have to say. but we'll just jump right in because you st I mentioned in the introduction, you started with no mentor. No coaching,
Laurie Nelson: Nine.
Connor Bartley: no real guidance, a very familiar journey for a lot of people in this industry, very sink or swim. when you look back, what is the one thing that you wish someone told you in year one that would have changed like the trajectory for you in the first five years?
Laurie Nelson: Okay, so boy, that's that there's a lot. There's a lot that we could learn here. out of the gate, I was hired in 1999 with some finance background, but no mortgage per se experience. I just moved to Pittsburgh and was sort of looking for a job and just, you know, answered like in the good old days, there were actually like ads in the paper. So showed up and and it it felt like the right fit for my background. But when I got there, I mean, it was, you know, I'm not gonna say it's the best-run mortgage company I've ever worked for. Definitely a younger, you know, leadership was young, and it was just like very, very basic training. So I you know, I think anybody in sales has a little bit of an ego. And I wanted to be capable so badly that I Overlooked probably asking for a lot more help. You know, I wanted to prove I belonged. I wanted to prove I could be there. And instead of constantly asking for help, I insisted on figuring everything out my own way, which is absolutely the hard way. So you know, and unfortunately, back when I started in actually it was like 1999, and The whole LOA, LP, loan partner, that whole system hadn't really evolved yet. People didn't have necessarily assistance. We had one processor for the office. We actually only had a couple computers for the office. So if I were getting into the mortgage business today, where there are a lot more resources and help, I would probably skip over starting as a loan officer and I would start as a loan officer assistant. And I know everybody wants to jump in and hit the ground running, but I think you have a lot to gain learning all the other aspects of the business before you just run out and start originating loans. I did not have that opportunity, but I wish I would
Connor Bartley: Yeah.
Laurie Nelson: have.
Connor Bartley: I think you make a I think you make a great point there. I mean, we see this trend a lot among low down guests where we've had many people on the show that got their start in the business, you know, as a a junior or an LOA for someone who is a high producing originator. They got into that environment, they saw a different set of standards, they saw a different work ethic, they learned on a lot of files really fast. Their learning curve was a lot faster. And after about a year, 18 months, two years, they're ready to go out on their own. They don't know any different. you know, their environment has been a very highly productive, fast-paced environment. So as far as they're concerned, that's what's normal. And oftentimes you see that they end up having very productive careers. and so I think, you know, the getting into the business as an LOA path under a top producer is an excellent model that the industry could adopt. And instead of, you know, you're not making any money today, go find a way to do it. And
Laurie Nelson: Right.
Connor Bartley: you know, and hoping somebody finds finds a way how. So anyway, you described yourself or a version of yourself of Just kind of running back and forth to a fax machine, stressed out, loans that were always maybe going to close. Like what finally broke that cycle for you? And what did the version of Lori on the other side of that?
Laurie Nelson: boy. So I can still they used to joke around because I had an office next to a real estate office and they could hear like my heels clacking, like going back and forth, back and forth. I was always in a hurry, always rushing. And I think that I mean, I've really been through every phase of, you know, 26 years takes you through every phase of how you go about your business. You know, I don't know if anyone starts off mature with it all figured out. So all of those experiences are certainly like some of them I just laugh at myself now and think, wow, I did it such the hard way. but I I had a hard time saying no. I said yes to everything. I wanted every loan. I wanted every loan. I wanted to make every loan work. If I did a pre-approval, I would not, I would put blinders on to all the red flags, you know, as far as like, is this really gonna go through? Also, when you're a little bit younger. And newer to the business, you're not always getting like the vanilla loans. You know, you have to kind of earn your way in. So if someone wanted to move up a closing date, I would say yes. If a realtor needed, I I just said yes all the time. I was such a yes person. And it took a long time for me to learn to say no.
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But I I mean Not being in, you know, I've heard that expression, like you need to manage your business, not have your business business manage you. I mean, there was certainly a point in my career where it was, it was absolutely managing me. So I I think part of what turned for me was starting to say no, just saying no to deals, saying no to agents, not staying in relationships with referral partners. That wasn't healthy for you. I mean, I thought that I was basically like for back a letter, lack of better term, like if I was working with an agent, like I was just like their bitch. Like if they wanted something, jump how high. I mean, I did everything for everyone. And sooner or later you figure out what relationships are not healthy for you, even if they're giving you business. So I think recognizing you need to say no, slowing down can actually make you more successful, and making sure that the relationships you have with your referral partners work for you just as much as they work for them.
Connor Bartley: Man, that is awesome advice. I mean, being able to you like the first client that you fire is really kind of a sign or referral partner that you fire is really kind of a sign of making it, I think in this industry. Like that's like the first hurdle of like, okay, I can say no now. I can finally like I have that relationship freedom, the ability to pick and choose now who I work with. And I'm not afraid of that. Right. And
Laurie Nelson: Right.
Connor Bartley: and I think that's so empowering to be able to do that. now you go ahead, go ahead.
Laurie Nelson: Go ahead. I just I'm a story just came to mind that's you know, I remember my first like I called it a breakup. It was like my first big breakup with a real estate agent that I've been working with for quite some time. And she was not good to me, you know. I mean, we I did a lot of business and I hung on to that. But she's the kind of person that liked to create a problem so that she could solve it and be a hero towards the end of the transaction. Definitely not a healthy way to work for anybody. And
Connor Bartley: Mm-hmm.
Laurie Nelson: like I just, I just remember her like getting on me. And I and actually I think she said, you know, something, I don't think that this is, you know, working. And at first I was like just devastated. Like I've done everything. I've done everything like to please you. Like what how could you possibly find better, you know? And it was something really silly. Like once again, and she had created a problem that didn't really exist and like spun it in this very bizarre way. But that was like a pivotal moment for me because letting go of that relationship that wasn't working, and I guess I probably didn't realize how much that whole relationship really just stressed me out, it opened the doors for other relationships that were better. And instead of losing business, I actually ended up gaining business because I was so focused on, you know, pleasing someone like that. So I don't know. I I kind of forgot about that. It was it was unpleasant, but it was it was great in the end. I've had a few of those.
Connor Bartley: Yeah, well probably Yeah
Laurie Nelson: I've had a few breakups over the years. And they've always been for the best. So
Connor Bartley: Well, you know, when you can ditch the energy vampire, right? The the relationship that's making you kind of hate the job that you have, and you see the phone number pop up and you go, them again. I don't wanna take that call, you know, like those are all kind of signals of, you know, maybe this isn't a healthy relationship to be in. And Just by breaking free of that, you've now given yourself more time and energy and kind of regained the ability to go find a better partnership that could serve you. And you could you're excited to serve them. And then you, you know, find that energy again, the love for the game, so to speak. And now you get to kind of step into your zone of genius and you know operate at your highest and best levels. so you you know took those lessons.
Laurie Nelson: Yeah. I think I just stopped chasing the money. Yeah. I stopped chasing the money and started loving
Connor Bartley: Yeah, yeah. So you took those lessons
Laurie Nelson: the business, you know.
Connor Bartley: Right, right. No, I love that. and you even like took those lessons, hit number one in your company, beat out four hundred different, you know, producers
Laurie Nelson: Yeah.
Connor Bartley: nationally. And then when the year was over and you, you know, relished the moment, you the happiness kind of wore off. And and then,
Laurie Nelson: Fast.
Connor Bartley: you know, and it was kind of like, what next? Right. So what does a moment like that teach a loan officer who is just, you know, Killing themselves to get to a number right now. And what advice could you give that loan officer?
Laurie Nelson: I think there's nothing wrong with wanting to be number one and and nothing wrong with it. That's what I did. But if you're really miserable getting there, it might be time to reevaluate. And I don't I know I loved the glory. I'm not gonna lie, like I never imagined myself at a big bank ranked nationally at the like number one. Like never. I I just didn't I didn't know that was possible. So as it became more of a reality, I chased it harder and harder and harder. And, you know, I talked to you briefly before we met and said that at the end of it, like I had some time where I like stared at my laptop screen and saw my name there and just smiled and was like, I can't believe I did this. But I don't know that I was happy. And, you know, New Year's Day, the clock sets all over and every, you know, it. I'm not gonna say I regret it because it it made me better at what I do. but I think that if you're chasing number one and you are in an environment where you don't feel supported, then it's either time to change your goal or change your environment. One one of them's gotta give.
and I don't know that I was in the best environment when I did that. So You know, and in by environment I do mean your team, your manager, your company, you know, the people that support you. So
Connor Bartley: Right, right. all very important elements to, you know, just the recipe. and when we talked before, something you said to me, I I really wanted to highlight on this because you had mentioned, you know, coaching is such a big part of this industry. I've talked to a number of originators
Laurie Nelson: So then
Connor Bartley: where coaching was like the big difference maker that got them to where they are today. They give a lot of credit to coaching and I'm a big advocate for coaching. I think it's a great thing for originators to to find. But you went a slightly different route and and got coaching from someone that wasn't a mortgage person, was from outside of the industry. And that was really the the coaching that kind of changed everything for you. So what did a non-mortgage coach give you that a mortgage specific coach couldn't?
Laurie Nelson: Okay, so first of all, that coaching like it absolutely changed my life. Changed my life and upgraded my life in such a huge way. And it was a big investment, and it was really scary to commit to that money. Really scary. and it was the best decision, one of the best decisions I've ever, ever made. And I have worked with two different coaches. Both were not in the mortgage industry. And I think that We're I, you know, everybody's got their different system. For me personally, the leadership coaching taught me how to show up everywhere in life, everywhere. As a parent, as a spouse, as a loan officer, as a coworker, as a leader of my team. What I learned in the personal life coaching taught me how to operate in every aspect of my life. And it was very different than the mortgage coaching where you have a system and you do 10 phone calls. It wasn't systematic like that. It was a lot deeper and so much more meaningful. But I would say that if you can master leadership throughout your day, handling problems without getting spun up, taking responsibility for things that don't go right, like, you know. I think a lot of us in the mortgage industry, if your processor drops the ball or someone outside, someone besides yourself does make some mistake in the process, we forget that like we're the leader. Like it's our loan, it's our transaction. And pointing fingers and shooting off blame doesn't solve problems. You know, figuring out what happened. Owning it, taking responsibility, being the person that communicates that with your with your agent or your buyer, that took a lot of training, but that sort of training changed the way I approached my business, the way I approached referral partners, the way I got business. And it, I mean, it is the difference between, I mean, that's what shot me up to number one, without a doubt. And what's strange is I didn't do all the Typical things. Like I'm not that person
that wakes up at 5:30 and goes to the gym and reads for 10 minutes and does my gratitude journal. And I wish I was because I do a, you know, I think I'm a successful person, winging it in my own special way. But I do believe that the connections that I made, even my family noticed a difference. Like my husband was like, you are so, so much nicer. he just I don't know. It really changed my life working with this particular coach. And then I took a step back from it. Sorry, I know I'm kind of rambling here, but it gets me a little excited to think about this big pivot in my life because it upgraded everything in my life. And there came a time when I stopped because. A lot of coaching is accountability. And once you figure out what you're supposed to do, I mean, we could go on ChatGPT and design a playbook on how you can get more business. And you can follow that to a T. But how you show up as a person to meetings, to to events where there's agents, to speaking with your clients, to me is the difference between loving my business and thriving in my business and chasing my business.
Connor Bartley: Well, I yeah,
Laurie Nelson: There's a mouthful.
Connor Bartley: no, I love that you saw a need for it, that you went outside of the industry. I think that's so important to
Laurie Nelson: Yes.
Connor Bartley: get out of the mortgage bubble every now and then. I see
Laurie Nelson: Sure.
Connor Bartley: other coaching platforms nowadays, you know, starting to implement some more of that into their platform, which I I applaud in a big, big way. you know, it's my belief that the skills that grow your production are are different than the skills that will scale it. And we see a lot of originators kind of plateau at a certain level of volume because they get to a point where they know how to generate leads, but generating leads actually starts to work against you at some point if you don't know what to do with all the leads that you're generating and how to build the right systems and structure around it. to so that you're not the bottleneck, so that you're not, you know, at the ceiling of your capacity at all times, kind of pushing the red line. And
Laurie Nelson: Right.
Connor Bartley: and so, you know, going outside of the industry and kind of learning what the other other businesses do, what, you know, how they're effective and what systems they put into place in order to, you know, take on more appointments or, you know, manage their calendars better or show up as leaders. all that's very important. so I applaud you for recognizing that.
Laurie Nelson: I think too. Thanks. And then I worked with another coach. and she kind of specialized in working with women who are, you know, not high anxiety, but, you know, successful women that get burnout, you know, it because that happens. It happens to everybody, men, women, etc. But what I learned through coaching, and maybe it's just, you know, my age at this point is my goals have really shifted. And I think sometimes when people ask, like, what's your goal this year? They're thinking about a number. And I think if you're working with the right coach, you your goal wants to be like, you want to be happy too. You want to feel like you've been, you want to feel successful without being burnt out. You want to figure out how to balance. What I used to make up these imaginary goals, like I did 80 million one year. So my I was fixated on a hundred million. I if I could do 80, I could do 100. I'm gonna do 100. Every year I never got to 100. And now my goal is totally different. I don't, I don't even want to do a hundred. I d I don't. and good for you if you do, but my best year has been these last couple of years. I did change my environment. And I looked back at the end of like 2025 and thought, this is one of the first years I've had in a long time. Where I didn't say, God, I'm so glad this year is over. I can't wait for next year. I used to say that every year. I can't wait for next year because my focus was so much on production. And what's crazy is that my production this year is moving up, you know, in at quite at a pace I didn't expect. And I'm enjoying myself again. So
Connor Bartley: Yeah. Yeah.
Laurie Nelson: for whatever that's worth, you know, there's
Connor Bartley: No, I love that. I mean, there's
Laurie Nelson: There's a lot more to go over. Yeah.
Connor Bartley: a there is a difference between yeah, there's a there's a difference between success and fulfillment and feeling, you know, feeling successful versus
Laurie Nelson: Sure. Took me too long to figure that out.
Connor Bartley: being feeling fulfilled about what you do and doing meaningful work and really loving the journey and and every part of it. so you're a girls girl, and I love that.
Laurie Nelson: Yeah. I am.
Connor Bartley: you you mentioned something to me kind of when we were preparing for this podcast that You had a colleague that was a female colleague hesitating to ask their manager for something. And you said, you know, what do you think your male counterpart would do in this situation? Would they pause? Would they, you know, would they hesitate? You know, and where does that hesitation come from? And how do you coach someone?
Laurie Nelson: I did, it's funny, I did have a lot of female loan officers and have over the time that come to me with like a difficult situation, which I love. I love solving those situations. And I've noticed a common theme, and it is oftentimes, you know, and I I can't speak for all women. I hate to make such generalizations. So I'm gonna say from my experience and from some of my friends' experiences that there is a Number one, we have a tendency to want to be so capable to like just handle everything ourselves. Like we want to do everything ourselves, right? Master it all and figure it all out without leaning on somebody else. I also think that there's, you know, I had this like, and a lot of salespeople do, like, you wanna be liked, right? I
mean, you want your manager to like you, you want leadership to like you. And I do believe that in my career, I often didn't want to complain or speak out too much because I thought, she's gonna sound whiny, she needs too much help, I'm gonna, I'm gonna look weak, like I need to solve everything myself. And I I really changed that. Speaking out at at your company about a situation that you feel is not right or a problem with the loan. It might be a challenging an underwriter. It might be that your processor is not doing a good job, but you don't want to hurt her feelings. I've sometimes said like think like a dude. Like I've had people present me with something and I'm like, well, why wouldn't you ask that? I don't know. I just I just ask for something else and I don't want to I don't want to seem needy. You know, F that is what I say. Like I don't think Is many men hold back, like when they are upset about something or they want something or they need more support at work, they're charging at their manager. They are charging at them. And I I don't know that we do that as often. And I also, I you know, I just think we should. And I really, really found my voice. I don't know, maybe seven years ago. And it it really changed everything. It it it if I hadn't found my voice, I wouldn't have. hit the numbers that I did. I you know, I requested my own closer. Well, nobody else has their own closer. Well, who cares what everybody else has? Like don't worry about what she has or he has or what you know, don't worry about what everybody else in your company is is getting or provided. Ask for what you want. Ask for it. Because you know what? Just because Johnny doesn't have his own closer doesn't mean that you can't. Like you you You have to fight your own battles. And I don't know. I just think there's a lot of women working on an island right now at their company that are trying so hard to be successful and do everything themselves. And I just want to grab them all and say, like, hey, there's a better way to do this.
Connor Bartley: Yeah. Well, so let's let let's talk about that. Let's talk about that 'cause we're kind of getting towards the end here. And,
Laurie Nelson: Okay.
Connor Bartley: you know, your next chapter is really recruiting and mentoring women who kind of feel stuck, unsupported where they are. And so for, you know, a a woman that's listening right now who maybe has outgrown their current situation but isn't sure about the next move they should make, like what do you say to that person?
Laurie Nelson: I would invest in coaching if you can. And if that doesn't feel manageable, then I think mentoring, like I love to mentor more than anything. I you've got to get a collective of other women in your company and you need to get them together. You need to I I guess I said this for a different answer, but like if your goal doesn't if you if you don't feel like your goal is being supported because of your environment, you know, we have a tendency to also be very loyal, like so loyal, you know. I think sometimes when you change companies or you change your processor or you change the team you're on, you feel like you failed. Like you somehow failed. Like change is you didn't make it where you thought you wanted to. And I think change is super healthy. And there's so many resources out there. I do stay very connected with Power, which is with the MBA Summit. MBA, not MBA Summit. Power is the MBA summit. They have once a year that's all women in financing. There are so many like groups out there. You need to become a part of one. You need to have like some camaraderie. You can't. That feeling of working on an island at a company is, I think, rough for everybody. And navigating that is helpful.
Connor Bartley: Right. Yeah. Well, it's so important, you know, your environment will dictate your future in a lot of circumstances.
Laurie Nelson: That's all.
Connor Bartley: Of course, you've you've got a lot of but you can control the environment you're in and how you respond to it. And, you know, when you can get around the right people, when your values align, when you get around the right resources, you know, you can really do some magical things. there's a lot of really talented people that are being suffocated by an environment that they're in. and to your point, you know, they're they feel loyal, they want to they want to be the good soldier and they want to try to make it work. but what's really interesting about the mortgage business is there's a lot of options out there. And
Laurie Nelson: There are
Connor Bartley: and there's espe especially when it comes to loan officers, and there's not a lot of people turning you away. it's a very like we would love for you to come join our company environment. And
Laurie Nelson: Yeah.
Connor Bartley: so I think for anyone who feels like maybe they're not in a place that's the best fit, just go explore a little bit. I think there's there's
Laurie Nelson: Yeah.
Connor Bartley: going to be an opportunity out there that might be a better situation for someone to step into, be around people that, you know, they say you're the average of the the five people you spend the most time with. So, you
Laurie Nelson: Yeah.
Connor Bartley: know, find Find the better people and get into that better environment, get that support, get the resources and and see what happens. because it's
Laurie Nelson: Yeah, I feel like mortgages are fun again. Like I honestly feel that the environment I'm in right now, I it's it's virtually stress. Like I feel like I don't have stress anymore. And and I did need
Connor Bartley: That's great.
Laurie Nelson: to change my environment. I mean, I I was successful, but I I did. I had to change it. And I guess I didn't realize that mortgages could be fun and easy again. So you know. And I and I love the collective we've we've we've started, you know, here it my new company. And I've been here for two years. So it's just been an upgrade to my life. And I waited too long. I did. I
Connor Bartley: Yeah.
Laurie Nelson: waited too long. Stubborn, loyal, you know, change is scary. It can be great. Yeah.
Connor Bartley: Yeah. Yeah. Well, Lori, I appreciate you being on on the lowdown. I know we talked about a
Laurie Nelson: Yeah, thank you
Connor Bartley: lot. I don't know if you got an opportunity to kind of share something that might have been burning on your mind walking into this. So I want to kind of close with just giving you that opportunity. If there's anything that you'd like to share or something that maybe you thought of as we've been talking, and I just never asked the right question, I want to kind of open up the floor to you and kind of let you say what's on your mind.
Laurie Nelson: boy. I'm just my door's always open. I was one that, you know, I I spoke earlier about how I was noisy and I did reach out to some of the very successful loan officers in my company and I wanted to know what their systems were like. And, you know, my d like I love talking to people about this stuff. I I love solving problems. I love working through situations. So, you know, it doesn't matter where you live or you know, what your situation is, like I I'm always open to talk to people about, you know, what what helped me get where I am and always willing to help anybody else that's interested. Honestly. Yeah.
Connor Bartley: That's amazing. Awesome. Awesome. Well, Lori, thank you again for joining the Lowdown. For anyone who's listening, before you
Laurie Nelson: It's fine.
Connor Bartley: go, if anything that we talked about today sort of landed for you, I want to point you to two things. First, the Lowdown Mortgage Community newsletter. It's weekly content that I write that's built for producers who are ready to build something bigger. You can subscribe at www.lowdownmortgage community dot com slash subscribe. low down is spelled L-O-D-O-W-N. And then second, if you're closing you know, eight to fifteen loans a month, or maybe, maybe six loans a month, maybe twenty, whatever, if you've got that feeling that something in your business needs to change and you just can't quite put your finger on it, I put a tool together for you. It's the low down diagnostic. It's three assessments, take you five minutes. You can do it on your phone in bed before you fall asleep, and it will give you. a dollar figure of you know how much money you're losing, how much time you're wasting, the strategic hire you can make to solve that problem and the stage of growth that you're in and what you need to do next to get to the next level. I've had several people take this. The feedback has been phenomenal, and I would invite you to go, you know, check it out yourself. That's at www.lowdownmortgage community dot com slash diagnostic. Both links will be in the show notes. And guys, I appreciate you being here. I'll see you next time. Bam.
Laurie Nelson: So yeah, thanks.