TRANSCRIPTION 🔗
WEBVTT
00:00:03.040 --> 00:00:06.959
Hello, welcome back to Risky Conversations.
00:00:07.120 --> 00:00:08.960
And why risky conversations?
00:00:09.199 --> 00:00:14.960
Because everything that's worthwhile is on the other side of a risky conversation.
00:00:15.199 --> 00:00:16.879
My name is Jamie Lee.
00:00:16.960 --> 00:00:22.719
I'm an executive coach for smart women and marginalized leaders who don't like office politics.
00:00:22.879 --> 00:00:28.239
And I help them get promoted, get better paid without throwing anyone under the bus.
00:00:28.399 --> 00:00:29.440
And how do we do this?
00:00:29.679 --> 00:00:36.799
By combining just smart, proven communication strategies with practical neuroscience.
00:00:37.359 --> 00:00:44.240
And today I want to talk to you about something that I've noticed amongst my best clients.
00:00:44.640 --> 00:00:47.840
It's something I call the coverage trap.
00:00:48.079 --> 00:00:52.880
And how do you know that you're experiencing or you've been in the coverage trap?
00:00:53.039 --> 00:00:59.359
Well, let me ask you this: have you ever noticed that the harder you work, the less anyone seems to notice?
00:00:59.600 --> 00:01:02.000
Not because the work isn't good, the work is good.
00:01:02.159 --> 00:01:03.520
It's too good.
00:01:04.079 --> 00:01:22.239
And because you made it look that way, you made it look easy, people don't notice, and people don't seem to notice that you want additional resources, support, or a promotion that'll help you create even more impact, more value for the organization.
00:01:22.400 --> 00:01:28.480
So if you have experienced something like this, I want you to stick around.
00:01:28.799 --> 00:01:32.319
And first, let me set the scene, okay?
00:01:32.719 --> 00:01:35.439
Because I'm recording this on a Tuesday.
00:01:35.760 --> 00:01:41.280
And here's yet another example of finding yourself in the coverage trap.
00:01:42.319 --> 00:01:52.480
And if you have experienced what I'm talking about, you've probably lived this exact scene that I'm going to, you know, explain to you.
00:01:52.719 --> 00:01:57.760
So let's say it's the weekly project update on a Tuesday, nothing special, just another Tuesday.
00:01:57.920 --> 00:02:02.640
And at the meeting, you professionally give your project update.
00:02:02.799 --> 00:02:07.599
Maybe you leave the project and you say, you know, the project continues to make progress.
00:02:07.840 --> 00:02:15.840
We've seen X percent gains toward our goal, in spite of Sam and Pat, our team members, being out for a whole month.
00:02:16.080 --> 00:02:22.000
And your supervisor, they look pleased and they say, Great, keep it up.
00:02:22.479 --> 00:02:24.479
You've done a great job of covering.
00:02:25.120 --> 00:02:25.919
And that's it.
00:02:26.080 --> 00:02:28.719
Maybe it was 10 seconds, maybe it was even less.
00:02:28.879 --> 00:02:31.840
And on the surface, all is well.
00:02:32.240 --> 00:02:34.879
Another good update.
00:02:36.879 --> 00:02:40.879
But here's the thing about spoken words.
00:02:41.199 --> 00:02:47.280
Sometimes what's not being said tells you volumes the spoken words don't.
00:02:48.400 --> 00:02:52.080
So let's go underneath that update for a second.
00:02:52.240 --> 00:03:00.080
Let's hear what's actually going on in your head and going unsaid as you give that update.
00:03:01.360 --> 00:03:08.159
And this is something that, you know, I recalled from my experiences being an employee.
00:03:08.319 --> 00:03:12.000
And this is something that I often hear from my own clients.
00:03:12.560 --> 00:03:14.639
And it goes something like this.
00:03:15.840 --> 00:03:23.520
On the inside, you're thinking, you know, that last month was one of the hardest months I've ever worked in my professional career.
00:03:23.680 --> 00:03:26.159
I had to work nights and weekends.
00:03:26.319 --> 00:03:32.000
I put aside my family obligations and a key growth objective that I've been wanting to pursue.
00:03:32.240 --> 00:03:32.960
But you know what?
00:03:33.120 --> 00:03:39.439
I don't want to sound like I'm complaining about the workload because I need to prove myself.
00:03:39.759 --> 00:03:45.520
And I don't want to sound like I'm bragging because I'd hate to sound like an arrogant blowhard.
00:03:45.840 --> 00:03:47.360
And let's keep it professional.
00:03:47.439 --> 00:03:50.479
Let's sit, let's make it sound like all is under control.
00:03:50.800 --> 00:03:55.360
Because, first of all, I am keeping things under control and I want to make a good impression.
00:03:55.439 --> 00:03:59.759
And that way, when I make a good impression, it'll look like I'm ready for the promotion I want.
00:03:59.919 --> 00:04:04.719
And the harder I work, the less I'll have to stick my neck out to ask for it.
00:04:06.560 --> 00:04:08.719
And that's a lot happening, right?
00:04:08.960 --> 00:04:14.560
That goes unsaid in about in a in a couple of seconds, right?
00:04:15.759 --> 00:04:20.319
And so, what does your supervisor actually hear in that moment?
00:04:20.399 --> 00:04:23.279
And what actually happens as a result of that?
00:04:23.439 --> 00:04:27.839
There are three key things that I want to tell you about today in this podcast.
00:04:28.079 --> 00:04:33.120
And so let's start with the first thing, which is what actually lands.
00:04:33.439 --> 00:04:43.040
And here's what actually lands the supervisor or the decision maker in that meeting doesn't notice any of your personal sacrifices.
00:04:43.360 --> 00:04:52.000
They don't notice what you're hoping for or what you're capable of beyond what got done.
00:04:52.959 --> 00:04:56.079
Because all you've shared is what got done.
00:04:56.319 --> 00:05:00.720
What they hear is nothing needs to change.
00:05:00.959 --> 00:05:03.519
No promotion, no additional resource needed.
00:05:03.680 --> 00:05:06.160
Status quo is just fine.
00:05:06.879 --> 00:05:09.040
And here's the part I want you to really sit with.
00:05:09.199 --> 00:05:11.759
Load full transcript
Your supervisor is not being malicious.
00:05:12.160 --> 00:05:18.000
They're not withholding support or resources of the promotion out of malice.
00:05:18.160 --> 00:05:22.879
They're simply responding to the only information they were given.
00:05:23.199 --> 00:05:31.360
No gaps, no urgency, no future vision, no ask.
00:05:32.800 --> 00:05:44.160
So this right here is often the kind of risky conversation we talk about when we talk about risky conversations for smart women with career ambitions.
00:05:44.399 --> 00:05:49.839
Except the risky conversation isn't the one you're avoiding having with your boss yet.
00:05:50.000 --> 00:05:59.839
It's the one you haven't had with yourself about what you really want and what you're willing to say out loud to get it.
00:06:00.560 --> 00:06:01.199
Yeah.
00:06:02.480 --> 00:06:07.360
And so here's the second thing that I want to tell you about the blind spot.
00:06:07.600 --> 00:06:13.360
I mean, we've we've sort of touched on this already, but we call this the coverage trap.
00:06:13.600 --> 00:06:18.800
And here's what happens, and here's why it happens.
00:06:19.680 --> 00:06:31.360
As women, as uh minorities, as marginalized people in the workplace, many of us have been conditioned to believe that competence should speak for itself.
00:06:33.600 --> 00:06:42.240
That if we just keep our heads down and do good work, do excellent work, someone will eventually notice and reward us for it.
00:06:42.319 --> 00:06:44.160
And that's how it's supposed to be.
00:06:44.319 --> 00:07:00.240
But here's the truth competence without an articulation of a future vision and an explicit ask does not read as evidence for something that, you know, evidence for something something extra needs to happen.
00:07:00.399 --> 00:07:04.240
What it actually reads as is equilibrium.
00:07:04.480 --> 00:07:09.040
It reads as nothing needs to change.
00:07:10.079 --> 00:07:14.720
And here's the third thing to know about what happens as a result.
00:07:16.000 --> 00:07:18.560
There is the compounding cost.
00:07:19.600 --> 00:07:28.000
And the cost of you know, this situation, the scenario that I'm painting here, it compounds quietly.
00:07:28.879 --> 00:07:40.000
You know, you feel the frustration building on the inside, but you know, if you're listening to this podcast, it's probably not your style to issue ultimatums or threaten to quit.
00:07:40.240 --> 00:07:51.120
So instead, you start opening job listings on your lunch break, or you start networking quietly on LinkedIn, telling yourself it's just curiosity.
00:07:52.319 --> 00:07:55.120
And then you see the email update.
00:07:55.439 --> 00:07:57.120
Steve got the promotion.
00:07:57.439 --> 00:08:03.839
The outspoken Steve, the outspoken but uninspiring Steve got the promotion.
00:08:04.000 --> 00:08:05.279
And you did it.
00:08:06.800 --> 00:08:16.800
And now I want to be really clear about something because I don't want you to walk away from this podcast thinking the fix is
to work harder, to blame ourselves, or to complain louder.
00:08:17.040 --> 00:08:18.879
Yes, inequities do exist.
00:08:19.040 --> 00:08:20.800
Yes, biases do exist.
00:08:20.959 --> 00:08:24.639
Yes, they do play a part in who gets promoted.
00:08:24.959 --> 00:08:33.759
And yet, you know, it's it's not enough to play the blame-shame game.
00:08:34.000 --> 00:08:42.799
Nothing changes when we just, you know, point the finger outward and don't take responsibility for things that we can change.
00:08:43.120 --> 00:08:55.519
So the change that we can effect is first of all acknowledging that the gap between where you are and where you want to go, the promotion you do want, is not more effort.
00:08:55.840 --> 00:08:57.759
It's not working harder.
00:08:58.000 --> 00:09:01.840
You've got that covered in more ways than one.
00:09:02.399 --> 00:09:07.440
And the gap, the actual gap, is simply translation.
00:09:08.240 --> 00:09:14.399
It's turning what you're carrying into language a decision maker can actually act on.
00:09:14.559 --> 00:09:18.080
And that language, again, is not a blame shame game.
00:09:18.159 --> 00:09:20.639
It's not, it's so unfair, what's wrong with me?
00:09:20.799 --> 00:09:21.519
I'm not good enough.
00:09:21.679 --> 00:09:22.720
It's none of that.
00:09:22.879 --> 00:09:45.200
It's language that's future focused, it's language that demonstrates leadership, it's language that shows you understand where the organization is headed and how leadership is thinking about where the organization is headed from here and articulates the ripple effect of your work.
00:09:45.679 --> 00:09:57.360
Because the work you're already doing, the work you've been acing and doing such a great job on, is already making an impact on where the leaders want the organization to go.
00:09:57.519 --> 00:10:06.159
You just haven't yet translated that into language beyond the 10-second Tuesday update.
00:10:06.639 --> 00:10:18.720
So this is exactly what we're going to build together live in a free negotiation workshop that I'm hosting on September 18th.
00:10:18.960 --> 00:10:33.919
For 12 years plus, I've been leading negotiation workshops for professional women, and at least once a year I host a completely cost-free community workshop because this is a vital skill that every woman needs.
00:10:34.159 --> 00:10:37.440
Society teaches us to wait for recognition.
00:10:37.600 --> 00:10:50.240
Society teaches and conditions us to assume that our competence, not our articulation and self-advocacy, will generate professional rewards.
00:10:50.399 --> 00:10:53.360
And so we have to flip that script around.
00:10:53.519 --> 00:11:15.360
We have to just equip ourselves with some simple, structured way to advocate and articulate the value of the work that we are doing so that leaders feel compelled to take action and reward us with the promotion and the raise that you've already earned.
00:11:15.440 --> 00:11:18.000
You've earned that like two cycles ago, right?
00:11:32.080 --> 00:11:38.559
And assuming being good at what you do is going to lead to the recognition and reward that you're not getting right now.
00:11:38.799 --> 00:11:51.519
If you're ready to start translating your value into clear, compelling articulation, I invite you to join the overfunctioning women's negotiation workshop.
00:11:51.679 --> 00:11:52.240
That's right.
00:11:52.320 --> 00:11:56.639
This is a workshop specifically for over-functioning women.
00:11:57.039 --> 00:12:00.320
And it's live, it's free, it's on September 18th.
00:12:00.480 --> 00:12:03.919
And the link to join the workshop is in the show notes.
00:12:04.080 --> 00:12:08.080
Or you can come on over to jamilecoach.com to register.
00:12:08.399 --> 00:12:14.399
J-A-M-I-E-L-E-E-C-O-A-C-H dot com to register.
00:12:14.480 --> 00:12:16.799
It's gonna be on Friday, September 18th.
00:12:16.960 --> 00:12:20.799
And if you can't join it live, don't worry, you will get the replay sent to you.
00:12:20.960 --> 00:12:39.039
And if you know any other woman who's experiencing the similar this coverage trap, and you know somebody who is so good at what they do, but they're being underappreciated at work, please send them the link to join this workshop.
00:12:39.360 --> 00:12:41.120
They will thank you.
00:12:41.360 --> 00:12:52.159
Okay, so until next time, this has been Risky Conversations, and remember that everything worthwhile is on the other side of a risky conversation.
00:12:52.320 --> 00:12:53.759
We'll talk soon.