TRANSCRIPTION 🔗
WEBVTT
00:00:00.239 --> 00:00:08.400
In Western society, we've created a type of kindness or a way of kindness that's centered on agreement.
00:00:09.279 --> 00:00:12.320
And it points to a deeper cultural problem.
00:00:12.720 --> 00:00:16.640
We've connected love with affirmation.
00:00:17.519 --> 00:00:24.960
The idea is if you disagree with me, then you're being unkind or unloving.
00:00:25.280 --> 00:00:30.320
And maybe you've heard some of these statements in your life in social circles.
00:00:30.960 --> 00:00:35.280
If you loved me, you'd accept me for who I am.
00:00:35.679 --> 00:00:40.240
If you really cared about me, you wouldn't judge me.
00:00:40.719 --> 00:00:46.159
A real friend would be happy for me and celebrate my choice.
00:00:46.719 --> 00:00:49.759
Now this is a Western ideal, a Western problem.
00:00:49.840 --> 00:00:53.840
It's very, very prevalent in Canada, where I live, where we're at.
00:00:54.240 --> 00:00:58.560
And I just wonder, are we allowed to disagree?
00:00:58.719 --> 00:01:03.920
Are we allowed in society and culture to challenge ideas and values?
00:01:04.159 --> 00:01:25.359
And if we do, is there an assumption by the opposing party or discussing party, the party we're in conversation to, that is there an understanding by them that we're being unloving and that we're not showing love by asking deeper questions, by challenging the ideas or the statements, uh, the values that they're putting forward?
00:01:25.920 --> 00:01:30.000
And if that's true, what does love really mean?
00:01:30.159 --> 00:01:31.680
What's it really all about?
00:01:35.200 --> 00:01:38.719
We are in week four of our questions and answers series.
00:01:38.879 --> 00:01:42.079
We're striving to find truth in God's Word.
00:01:42.400 --> 00:01:46.640
Today's topic is the topic of love, as you may have guessed.
00:01:46.879 --> 00:02:12.800
And uh we're testing the biblical understanding of love and specifically love shown in speech and conversation, and we're challenging culture's view, and we're putting them together and saying, is what culture is saying about love and about conversation that it needs to always be affirming and that affirmation is demanded, is that really love?
00:02:13.520 --> 00:02:26.080
Or maybe there's this idea of truth and honesty and challenging ideals and sometimes having hard conversations, and maybe, just maybe, that that's the more loving response.
00:02:26.319 --> 00:02:33.840
And so we're looking at all of this within a biblical text by the Apostle Paul, his first letter to the Corinthian church.
00:02:34.080 --> 00:02:36.400
We are in 1 Corinthians 13.
00:02:36.560 --> 00:02:44.719
Now, this is usually a passage that's chosen to be read during weddings, but it doesn't really match with the context of the letter.
00:02:44.960 --> 00:02:52.400
Paul wrote this into a bunch of Christians, a church in the city of Corinth, that were in a fight.
00:02:52.639 --> 00:02:58.000
There were arguments over spiritual maturity and the level of faithfulness.
00:02:58.400 --> 00:03:05.039
And by the time we get into the passage, Paul starts talking about love.
00:03:05.840 --> 00:03:15.439
He's describing love, but then he starts moving into how love acts or some of the action and word attributes of love.
00:03:15.680 --> 00:03:23.280
And today I want to focus on two verses in particular, verses five and six of 1 Corinthians 13.
00:03:23.439 --> 00:03:24.560
Let's read it here.
00:03:24.879 --> 00:03:33.680
He says, it, or speaking about love from the previous context, it, love, does not insist on its own way.
00:03:33.919 --> 00:03:36.879
It is not irritable or resentful.
00:03:37.120 --> 00:03:42.879
It does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.
00:03:43.439 --> 00:03:49.280
Now, the temptation of all human beings in our fallen state is the complete opposite of this.
00:03:49.520 --> 00:03:53.199
And I've had times like that, I'm sure you have too.
00:03:53.520 --> 00:03:57.199
And before I knew Jesus, I was definitely like that.
00:03:57.280 --> 00:04:02.560
And I slip back into my old ways all the time when I'm not staying focused.
00:04:02.719 --> 00:04:04.879
And maybe you're the same, but he here's the opposite.
00:04:04.960 --> 00:04:09.599
You know, the opposite is to always insist on our way, then our way is primary.
00:04:09.759 --> 00:04:18.160
It's to be irritable, uh, it's to be resentful, and it's to rejoice in wrongdoing or wrong things.
00:04:18.319 --> 00:04:22.560
And lastly, it's to neglect or ignore the truth.
00:04:23.040 --> 00:04:29.279
And really, this is a bit of a throwback to week one, the truth, and what is authoritative truth?
00:04:29.519 --> 00:04:36.720
And the authoritative truth found in Scripture, we rejoice in it, we embrace it.
00:04:36.959 --> 00:04:43.040
And when we don't embrace the authority of Scripture and the truth of Scripture, we go in the opposite direction.
00:04:43.199 --> 00:04:45.920
But let's let's pick this apart a little bit more.
00:04:46.160 --> 00:04:50.319
So let's look at the first part of verse five here first.
00:04:50.480 --> 00:04:53.600
It says, love does not insist on its own way.
00:04:53.839 --> 00:05:06.399
The deeper meaning of this in the original language is to seek or to plot, uh, to be about or desire, endeavor, inquire for, require, seek after for, or by means of.
00:05:06.560 --> 00:05:13.839
So the whole concept of this is to demand or seek out our own way over other people.
00:05:14.079 --> 00:05:24.160
If we're talking about the conversation piece, we always want the conversation or the center of the conversation to be about us.
00:05:24.240 --> 00:05:26.079
And we want to navigate it our way.
00:05:26.240 --> 00:05:31.519
We want everything that's spoken to us and about us to be self-focused.
00:05:31.839 --> 00:05:38.800
And moving on, if we look to the second part of verse 5, it says, love is not irritable or resentful.
00:05:39.040 --> 00:05:45.920
And if we
Load full transcript
look at the deeper meaning, to be irritable is to arouse anger or provoke or irritate, easily provoke or stir up.
00:05:46.079 --> 00:05:49.600
The resentful is a very interesting term in the original language.
00:05:49.680 --> 00:05:52.240
It actually means to take inventory.
00:05:52.319 --> 00:05:57.600
It's an accounting term in the Greco-Roman world, and it's a keeping a ledger of wrongs.
00:05:58.160 --> 00:06:07.040
And so love, love's not irritable, that's pretty straightforward and uh irritable or easily offended.
00:06:07.120 --> 00:06:09.680
Uh, the word of the day would be triggered.
00:06:09.759 --> 00:06:15.920
Uh, someone who's showing love in conversation, you know, has self-control and they're not triggered by what's being said.
00:06:16.240 --> 00:06:19.199
And uh the other thing is they don't hold grudges.
00:06:19.360 --> 00:06:36.399
You have conversations and you're challenged about things, or someone might question something you're saying or disagreeing, but you're not immediately writing them off and kind of putting them on a list of, oh, I don't listen to these people, or nothing they have to say is of value.
00:06:36.800 --> 00:06:38.000
It's a short record.
00:06:38.079 --> 00:06:40.240
You're not keeping a ledger of that.
00:06:40.480 --> 00:06:44.079
And so moving on to verse six now, let's unpack that a bit more.
00:06:44.319 --> 00:06:49.519
Love does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.
00:06:50.079 --> 00:06:51.519
Super interesting here.
00:06:51.600 --> 00:06:58.959
In the original Greek, we see here in English it says rejoice twice, but there's there's actually two different Greek verbs.
00:06:59.120 --> 00:07:07.199
So the first one is the personal rejoicing, which is uh to rejoice or to be glad internally, personally.
00:07:07.360 --> 00:07:14.720
But the second, uh Paul uses a form of communal rejoicing, which is to rejoice with.
00:07:15.279 --> 00:07:21.199
It's corporate, uh, to corporately congratulate or to corporately celebrate.
00:07:21.439 --> 00:07:42.560
And so if we unpack that in regards to conversations and discussions and showing love and listening and uh and affirming is the big term right now, we refuse to gloat over wrongdoing, either wrong thoughts or behaviors, and we don't uh we don't celebrate those because they're very self-focused.
00:07:42.720 --> 00:07:54.879
They're self-focused pleasures and pursuits, which we talked a bit about last week with the identity message, pursuing personal pleasure and pursuits and passions.
00:07:55.680 --> 00:08:23.199
But we cling instead, we cling to what's true, that truth is a key part of life and of loving, that a loving person clings to truth, and a loving person is willing to give truth and honesty to someone, and that is community focused because the truth of scripture and the truth overall, being honest, that helps society overall.
00:08:23.680 --> 00:08:35.120
Alright, now let's widen the perspective back out to our cultural
moment right now, into society and the conversations we have, and this idea of showing love through affirmation.
00:08:35.279 --> 00:08:36.320
Is it really best?
00:08:36.639 --> 00:08:41.840
And based on the scriptural truth that Paul's talking about, how we interact with love, do they match?
00:08:42.000 --> 00:08:43.759
And what do they look like?
00:08:43.919 --> 00:08:45.840
And I want you to think about it in two ways.
00:08:46.000 --> 00:08:56.639
So the first way is like a doorway, and it's a doorway of affirmation and celebration of certain beliefs, values, and ideologies, and it's demanded upon entry.
00:08:56.960 --> 00:08:58.159
It's like gatekeeping.
00:08:58.240 --> 00:09:09.679
If you come to that door, there's um suspicion, and they're taking cues on uh what you agree with and don't agree with, what you affirm.
00:09:09.840 --> 00:09:13.039
And if you hit all the markers, you get into the room.
00:09:13.279 --> 00:09:17.600
And this is problematic in like both ends of the spectrum.
00:09:17.840 --> 00:09:20.559
The extreme left does this and the extreme right does this.
00:09:20.720 --> 00:09:29.759
This isn't a a it is a politically polarizing thing, but the gatekeeping happens in all avenues of culture.
00:09:30.480 --> 00:09:38.159
And the other idea that I want you to think about, instead of like a doorway, I would say Paul's describing a table.
00:09:38.320 --> 00:09:40.480
And and at a table, everyone's welcome.
00:09:40.559 --> 00:09:45.200
You have to get through the doorway, the entryway, you have to get through the living room, and you have to actually sit down at the table.
00:09:45.279 --> 00:09:51.759
A lot of times there's a meal there, and there's discussion, and there's challenges, and there's disagreements.
00:09:51.840 --> 00:09:54.320
There might even be debate over dinner.
00:09:54.720 --> 00:10:05.279
And there's an understanding at the table that there's still love there, there's still acceptance, but acceptance and love isn't dependent on agreement.
00:10:05.519 --> 00:10:17.360
And that's what's very, very different about the Christian ideal of love versus what the world is and the Western world is pitching right now.
00:10:17.759 --> 00:10:27.840
And simply stated, and what the data is going to show us is that love is found at a table conversation, not a doorway affirmation.
00:10:28.080 --> 00:10:33.120
Love is found at a table conversation, not at a doorway affirmation.
00:10:33.279 --> 00:10:39.279
And this is the idea I want you to keep in mind as we walk through some of the data and what we're seeing in our culture.
00:10:39.519 --> 00:10:40.080
All right?
00:10:40.399 --> 00:10:43.440
Because Paul connects love and truth.
00:10:43.600 --> 00:10:47.519
Remember, love rejoices in truth.
00:10:47.679 --> 00:10:49.519
They can't be separated.
00:10:49.759 --> 00:10:54.480
And we dealt with a couple weeks ago this idea of everyone's truth, right?
00:10:54.559 --> 00:10:55.600
That was the first week.
00:10:55.679 --> 00:10:59.679
And you can all have your own truth, but eventually there's going to be disagreement.
00:10:59.840 --> 00:11:04.240
There has to be one authority of truth, which is scripture, and love is interconnected with it.
00:11:04.399 --> 00:11:11.759
Okay, so but in our culture, if love and truth are together in the United, we have a problem or culture has a problem.
00:11:11.919 --> 00:11:15.279
Now let's look at how this works in conversation.
00:11:15.679 --> 00:11:25.600
So, uh, first, a major self-esteem research review commissioned by the Association of Psychological Science found some interesting results.
00:11:25.919 --> 00:11:41.200
Psychologist Roy Baumeister, along with colleagues from several universities, found that boosting self-esteem through constant praise, regardless of actual performance, does not reliably produce better outcomes.
00:11:41.519 --> 00:11:54.799
The same research found that narcissism, not self-esteem itself, was what predicted aggression, specifically when someone's self-image was directly challenged.
00:11:55.759 --> 00:12:06.799
What this means is constant affirmation or the demand for affirmation, regardless of life choices, it doesn't deliver what it promises.
00:12:07.440 --> 00:12:12.480
And you're just backing up a self-image that eventually gets dangerous.
00:12:12.879 --> 00:12:14.879
Let's keep looking at some data here.
00:12:15.039 --> 00:12:21.440
So a field experiment out of the University of Chicago and Carnegie Mellum put honesty to the test.
00:12:21.679 --> 00:12:26.639
Researchers assigned people to be completely honest in every conversation.
00:12:26.799 --> 00:12:29.519
That would be crazy in Canadian culture, by the way.
00:12:29.759 --> 00:12:36.080
So with every person in their life, every person in their life, for three straight days.
00:12:36.320 --> 00:12:43.200
Before starting, participants predicted it would be unpleasant and it would damage their relationships.
00:12:43.440 --> 00:12:49.679
And, you know, for a Canadian, that that would be a nervous thing for us.
00:12:50.000 --> 00:12:57.679
We don't readily speak our minds all the time, especially if we came across someone who we didn't really deeply trust.
00:12:58.240 --> 00:13:02.240
Either way, it didn't work out the way they thought it would.
00:13:02.720 --> 00:13:11.679
Being honest turned out to be more enjoyable, more socially connecting, and less relationally harmful than they expected.
00:13:11.919 --> 00:13:17.840
In a follow-up experiment, people gave honest negative feedback to someone close to them.
00:13:18.000 --> 00:13:20.159
And the same pattern held.
00:13:20.480 --> 00:13:32.159
The researchers' conclusion was that we consistently overestimate how badly others will react to our honesty.
00:13:32.559 --> 00:13:40.159
Which is crazy when we think about Paul's instruction and attaching love with truth.
00:13:40.480 --> 00:14:01.759
And all through Scripture, honesty, no matter what, honesty
given with grace, of course, we have to be kind, but telling the truth, not lying, not being deceptive, uh, not just being agreeable to be agreeable, not just affirming for the sake of it, but being honest, it doesn't cost as much as we fear it will.
00:14:02.080 --> 00:14:11.919
And there's actually some great respect, self-respect that's gained and respect with other people when you're graciously telling the truth.
00:14:12.159 --> 00:14:19.919
And when you're not demanded to just go with whatever is the line of the day or the line of the encampment.
00:14:20.480 --> 00:14:30.080
And so the takeaway of this is by constantly demanding affirmation, we're avoiding conversations that could actually help us.
00:14:30.559 --> 00:14:37.519
And so, again, coming back to the doorway in the table, the doorway promises safety, right?
00:14:37.679 --> 00:14:42.720
It promises that gatekeeping of your own people are in.
00:14:42.960 --> 00:14:47.120
And uh, you know, some groups would call it an ally, right?
00:14:47.440 --> 00:14:54.879
And so we're making sure that our allies are allowed in, and no one who's not an ally, you know, they we don't let them in.
00:14:55.759 --> 00:14:59.840
But it doesn't deliver authentic connection over the long haul.
00:15:00.159 --> 00:15:16.320
And the table feels very risky to sit at a table, to listen, to ask questions, to be challenged on ideas, to look at factual information, to look at data and research, to see what's really going on.
00:15:16.720 --> 00:15:19.200
It feels like it's gonna be terrible.
00:15:19.519 --> 00:15:21.679
It's so terrifying.
00:15:22.000 --> 00:15:34.159
But if you walk through it, in the end, it's a loving way to deal with people, it's a gracious way to deal with people, and it's actually a beneficial way to deal with people.
00:15:34.480 --> 00:15:39.600
And honesty and community are found, and honesty and community thrives.
00:15:40.000 --> 00:15:48.720
With all this in mind, we suddenly see how Paul's instruction on how we love, it makes a lot more sense.
00:15:49.039 --> 00:15:54.480
Choosing the selfless, truth-seeking way of life is better for us.
00:15:54.559 --> 00:15:56.960
It's better for each other, it's better for society.
00:15:57.440 --> 00:16:05.279
And so for us as Christians, if you have chosen to follow Jesus as I have, we need to be the front runners on this.
00:16:05.440 --> 00:16:10.799
We can't be Bible thumping people about it, they're not going to be convinced that way.
00:16:11.120 --> 00:16:29.440
But the connection we have, the joy we have, the peace we have, the self-respect and and and uh I guess inner peace that we have, it's found in Jesus because as we talked about last week, he's our identity, he's where we find that.
00:16:29.519 --> 00:16:32.000
And so we can speak honestly to people.
00:16:32.399 --> 00:16:35.200
And we can embrace hard conversations.
00:16:35.360 --> 00:16:45.840
Christians should be at the forefront of embracing hard conversations, and
we should be receiving, accepting of hard conversations and challenges.
00:16:46.159 --> 00:16:53.200
Because for us, love and truth are interconnected and they're good for us.
00:16:53.679 --> 00:17:15.920
And even if we think about the beginning of this series, if you remember, in in John 1, verse 14, John says this statement that Jesus is full of grace and truth, and that our pursuit of Jesus isn't just all about grace and love, and it's not all about truth and law.
00:17:16.720 --> 00:17:19.839
He's a fullness of grace and truth.
00:17:21.039 --> 00:17:24.480
Much like Paul's saying now, a fullness of love and truth.
00:17:24.720 --> 00:17:26.160
They go hand in hand.
00:17:26.880 --> 00:17:39.599
And we were talking about a table, and it's fitting that as we talked about creating these table conversations, um, it's fitting that we would end our time today with communion.
00:17:39.680 --> 00:17:41.119
That's what we're gonna do.
00:17:41.440 --> 00:17:49.359
And so at this moment, you can pause the video or audio if you would like to participate in communion together with us, wherever you're at.
00:17:49.519 --> 00:18:22.640
Maybe you're watching with people or listening with people, uh, grab some bread or crackers, wine or juice, and get the elements together, and uh then come back and we'll hit play again, and uh then we'll walk through the communion passage in Matthew 26, and we're gonna come to the table, which is the main thing in our theology as Christians and our whole belief system, our faith system that connects us.
00:18:22.960 --> 00:18:32.319
No matter where we are, no matter what denomination, country, language, all over the world, we take communion together and we share this in common.
00:18:32.960 --> 00:18:34.880
And so it seems fitting.
00:18:36.720 --> 00:18:49.759
Also because it resembles and remembers the greatest act of love that was ever done in all history when God sent his son Jesus, and Jesus willingly died on the cross to take our sin.
00:18:50.400 --> 00:18:57.440
And so we're gonna remember that now as we talk about what is love, what is really at the bottom of love, what's authentic true love?
00:18:57.599 --> 00:18:59.359
Well, it's sacrificial love.
00:18:59.759 --> 00:19:04.799
It's the most selfless thing that could have ever been done, and it's just it's through Jesus.
00:19:05.119 --> 00:19:06.319
It's him who did it.
00:19:06.880 --> 00:19:12.400
So gather the elements, come back, and let's remember Jesus' sacrifice together.
00:19:15.039 --> 00:19:16.000
Okay, welcome back.
00:19:16.160 --> 00:19:18.400
Hopefully you have your elements ready.
00:19:18.880 --> 00:19:25.839
The process for communion today is I am going to pray for the bread first.
00:19:26.400 --> 00:19:38.240
I'm gonna read Matthew 26, 26, outlining when Jesus and the disciples took the bread, and then we will take the bread together, and then I'll do the same process for the cup.
00:19:39.039 --> 00:19:44.000
So would you pray with me for
the bread that represents the body of Christ?
00:19:45.440 --> 00:19:48.640
Dear Father, I thank you for sending your son Jesus.
00:19:49.839 --> 00:19:55.440
I thank you that he took our sin upon the cross to be the ultimate sacrifice.
00:19:57.359 --> 00:20:04.480
Father, as we take this bread, we remember his body that was broken and beaten and nailed to the cross.
00:20:08.400 --> 00:20:16.240
And we take it in sorrow on one level and yet in thanksgiving on the other.
00:20:18.240 --> 00:20:21.839
And Jesus, we thank you for willingly going to the cross.
00:20:24.319 --> 00:20:29.920
And we take this bread and we remember in our mind's eye your body hung there.
00:20:32.480 --> 00:20:37.200
Taking the punishment, ultimately taking the wrath of God on our behalf.
00:20:41.039 --> 00:20:42.480
Bless this bread.
00:20:42.880 --> 00:20:44.880
In your name, Jesus, we pray.
00:20:45.200 --> 00:20:45.839
Amen.
00:20:48.640 --> 00:20:51.119
Matthew 26, verse 26.
00:20:52.559 --> 00:20:56.880
It says, now as they were eating, Jesus took bread.
00:20:57.119 --> 00:21:07.200
And after blessing it, he broke it and he gave it to his disciples and said, Hey, this is my blood.
00:21:18.000 --> 00:21:19.839
Now let's pray for the cup.
00:21:21.680 --> 00:21:28.720
Dear Father, we transition now to the cup, which represents the blood of your son Jesus.
00:21:30.000 --> 00:21:32.640
Poured out for the sins of the world.
00:21:33.279 --> 00:21:35.519
The atonement, the final atonement.
00:21:36.480 --> 00:21:38.160
The final sacrifice.
00:21:39.680 --> 00:21:42.400
We thank you for this cup and what it represents.
00:21:43.680 --> 00:21:48.000
Jesus, we thank you again for willingly shedding your blood for us.
00:21:50.079 --> 00:22:02.480
We thank of the wounds all over your body, your hands, your feet, the crown of thorns on your head, and eventually the wound in your side, and the blood that we shed.
00:22:05.599 --> 00:22:07.359
We thank you for the atonement.
00:22:08.640 --> 00:22:12.720
We thank you for your willingness to die for us and shed your blood.
00:22:16.079 --> 00:22:18.240
Bless this cup in Jesus' name.
00:22:18.799 --> 00:22:19.440
Amen.
00:22:21.759 --> 00:22:22.960
Verse 27.
00:22:23.920 --> 00:22:32.079
And he took a cup, and when he had given thanks, he gave it to them, saying, Drink of it, all of you.
00:22:32.720 --> 00:22:39.279
For this is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins.
00:22:40.000 --> 00:22:50.000
I tell you, I will not drink again of this fruit of the vine until that day when I drink it new with you in my Father's kingdom.
00:22:54.960 --> 00:22:59.920
Alright, uh last but not least, let's talk about our discussion and prayer focus for this week.
00:23:00.160 --> 00:23:05.519
Gather around with the people that you're with right now, or you can drop a comment in the feed.
00:23:05.599 --> 00:23:12.720
And here is the question: How has affirmation-based love impacted your social circles?
00:23:13.039 --> 00:23:17.359
How has affirmation-based love impacted your social circles?
00:23:17.599 --> 00:23:28.400
We started with that idea of being in conversations where you have to agree with the person to be accepted or for them to love you or to show love.
00:23:28.559 --> 00:23:29.920
Have you faced any of that?
00:23:30.079 --> 00:23:30.960
Have you seen these?
00:23:31.039 --> 00:23:32.400
Have you been in these discussions?
00:23:32.559 --> 00:23:33.680
If you have, talk about it.
00:23:33.759 --> 00:23:34.319
What's it like?
00:23:34.400 --> 00:23:35.440
What's it feel like?
00:23:35.680 --> 00:23:38.000
And then spend some time in prayer together.
00:23:38.160 --> 00:23:45.039
Pray for the courage to pursue love and truth in your conversations this week.
00:23:45.359 --> 00:23:53.039
Hopefully longer, but pray for the courage to pursue love and truth, both of them in your conversations.
00:23:53.200 --> 00:23:58.960
Be loving, be gracious, and yet also that rejoice in the truth.
00:23:59.519 --> 00:24:01.200
Rejoice in honesty.
00:24:01.359 --> 00:24:09.200
And so let's do that this week or practice it this week, and may this be our life's journey that we always pursue love and truth.