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Before I met my husband, the longest relationship I'd ever had was with a house.
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When I was single, I owned a house that was pure me.
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My colors, my furniture, soft everything, and natural light pouring in through the windows.
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My clinic, my naturopathic clinic, was in the walkout basement.
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So I'd finish a session, walk upstairs, and I was home.
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Nobody needed anything from me on the other side of that door.
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And the backyard was so private.
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I could have done yoga naked out there.
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I'm not saying I did.
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I'm saying the option was there.
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And that's what freedom is.
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I could sit out on my patio for hours.
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I could decide at two in the afternoon to go paddleboarding, and then I just went.
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I ate dinner whenever I wanted to, sometimes at four o'clock, sometimes at 10 at night.
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Sometimes the dinner was cheese standing up at the counter like a raccoon with a mortgage.
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Was I messy sometimes?
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Sure, absolutely.
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Dishes in the sink, a pile of laundry on the chair that had become kind of a load-bearing feature of the room, and nobody cared because it was just me.
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I read books on the couch until two in the morning, and nobody ever said, Hey, are you still up?
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The other person who would have said that was me, and I was kind of busy.
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Do you know what that feels like in your body?
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It's this wide open, unhurried, nobody's waiting for me kind of ease.
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And I was really, really good at being single.
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Honestly, I was kind of a pro at it.
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You're listening to The Emotional Truth, a podcast for the woman who's ready to trust herself through the big changes in life, like perimenopause, a marriage that's shifting, or kids who need her differently.
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I'm Leslie Turner, somatic practitioner and intuitive coach.
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And I have a pretty uncanny ability to see what's actually running underneath the way you react.
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Because understanding why you do something and actually trusting yourself in the moment are two completely different things, and that's exactly where we work.
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We cover people pleasing, burnout, anger, the eldest daughter, money, and the identity shift that happens when the woman who's always held it together decides she's done doing it alone.
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Short episodes, real stories, and no sugar coating.
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Let's get into it.
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Now here's the part I left out of that brochure.
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The whole time that I was single, I was standing in my beautiful sunlit kitchen thinking, where the hell is he?
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I was 35.
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I had never been in a relationship longer than six months.
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And I want to be clear with that, it wasn't because I couldn't commit.
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I was ready.
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I wanted it.
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I just kept getting dumped along the way, which is a really fun hobby.
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I don't recommend it.
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I've been on probably, okay, I'm gonna be honest here, a thousand dates in my life, and I was great at first dates.
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The problem was I'm an intuitive, so I usually knew within about 90 seconds.
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My shortest date was five and a half minutes.
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I timed it.
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That's not a date, that's a microwave burrito.
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I've told some of those stories in past episodes, so I'll link it in the show notes.
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And it was the same with cities.
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I lived in Toronto, Waterloo, Sudbury, London, Ontario, for about four years in each.
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And it's not that I didn't want roots, I just didn't know where I wanted to put them yet.
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So every four years or so, my feet would get a little itchy and off I'd go to try to find a different importance.
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Then I met my husband.
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He had moved into his new house one week before we met.
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One week.
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The universe was not being subtle with this.
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It basically sent a moving truck with a man inside it.
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A year and a half later, I moved in, my furniture came with me, and everything else was his.
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Then, two months after that, I had a baby.
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One month after that, the pandemic hit.
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Great timing, love that for me.
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I went from eating cheese at 10 o'clock in my soft, sunlit house to a brand new mom in a house that still mostly felt like my husband's in a global lockdown with nobody coming over and nowhere to go.
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Now that season deserves its own episode, and it's going to get one.
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And then at 40 years old, with a two-year-old at the wedding, I became a wife.
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I did the whole
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thing a little backwards, the way you build like IKEA furniture confidently out of order, and somehow it's still holding.
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And look, I want to be clear.
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My husband does not police me.
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He's not standing in the hallway with a flashlight asking why the lamp in the living room is still on because I'm reading.
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But he notices.
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Do you know how unsettling it is to be noticed after three decades of glorious unsupervision?
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I'll be up reading at midnight and there's a witness.
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There's another human being who's like, oh, you're up.
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Yes, I'm up.
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This is who I am.
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You married this.
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But here's what I want you to hear from this because it's true of every identity shift.
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The better you were at the old identity, the harder the shift.
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I wasn't bad at being single.
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I was great at it.
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I had a whole life that fit me like a glove, and I liked her.
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I really, really liked that version of me.
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Honestly, that's what attracted my husband in the first place because I liked myself and you could feel it.
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So when everything changed, it wasn't just my address that changed.
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It was the question underneath it.
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If I'm not her anymore, who am I?
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Now, maybe for you it isn't marriage.
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Maybe you were the dedicated career woman.
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You built a whole identity out of being that specific person, the one with the title, the one everyone called when it mattered.
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Maybe you were the one who held the family together or held it together in a marriage that's ending now.
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Maybe you were incredible at being a mom of little kids, and now they barely need you to find their shoes.
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Being good at something isn't a reason to stay in it, and outgrowing it doesn't mean it wasn't real.
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You also don't have to evict the old you.
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This is where so many women get stuck.
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They think the shift means they have to reject who they were.
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Like she was a mistake.
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Like she was in the way.
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She wasn't.
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She's the one who got you here.
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I didn't lose single me.
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She taught me that I need softness, natural
light, water nearby.
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She taught me that I'm allowed to want what belongs only to me, and that wanting it doesn't make me a bad wife or a bad mom.
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She taught me how to know in 90 seconds what's right for me, and that's a skill I use every single day at my work.
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So I didn't kick her out.
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I thanked her.
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I took what she taught me and I brought her with me.
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She's still in there.
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She just doesn't get to drive my car anymore.
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Which brings me to this show.
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Because this podcast is apparently going through the exact thing I talk about on it.
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If you've been here since the beginning, you know that this show started as the intuitive drop.
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That was the name of my broadcast channel on Instagram because I was doing intuitive work, so it made sense.
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But then I kept showing up in episode after episode talking about emotions and my own stories and not as much about intuition.
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So the name and the show weren't matching anymore.
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So it became the emotional truth.
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And that felt so right.
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I wanted the deepest integrity.
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I wanted the deepest emotions, and I thought, yes, this is it.
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And now I'm three months later going, wait a second, I'm building something bigger than that.
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What I was already doing and just hadn't named yet was working with women through the identity shift.
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Every episode I've made, whether it was the eldest daughter, the good girl pattern that can't survive past 40, burnout, people pleasing, or divorce, those episodes are coming, has been about the same moment.
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It's the moment a woman looks at her life that she built and goes, Wait, is this actually me?
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So yes, we're changing the name again.
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And that's three names in under a year.
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At this point, the podcast has more aliases than a woman in witness protection.
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But it's a podcast about identity shifts having an identity crisis in public on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, which is honestly the most midlife thing that's ever happened.
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And I'd like to thank it for its service as this live case study.
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So this show is becoming her identity shift.
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I left my maiden era.
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Now it's the podcast turn.
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And here's what I'm stepping into.
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I'm stepping into the CEO seat.
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For a very long time, there was this quiet voice in me saying, I wasn't quite enough, not big enough, not ready enough to lead something like this.
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I've done the work on that.
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And I've stopped letting it make my decisions.
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So I'm claiming what I actually came here to do, and it's bigger than I originally planned.
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Her identity shift isn't just a podcast.
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It's a network I'm building of vetted women professionals who support women through the biggest pivots of their lives, whether that's a divorce, a diagnosis, a career ending, kids leaving, or a loss.
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They handle the logistics, the practical paperwork side.
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I handle what's happening in your body, your emotions, and your patterns.
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Because when your life changes, you shouldn't have to figure out who to call when you're also figuring out who you are.
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And the podcast is the front door of all of it.
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It's where you find out you're not the only one feeling this, and where you'll meet the women who can help.
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So here's what's coming.
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The show is moving into series.
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And the first one is about divorce.
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Two episodes from me, and then a conversation with a divorce coach.
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She helps women with the logistics of separation, and I bring the lens of the body, intuition, and emotions, and your patterns so you get the whole picture.
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It's the same me, same body-based work, and the same sarcasm under a name that finally fits.
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The new trailer will drop next Monday.
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If you're subscribed, you don't have to do anything else right now.
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You're coming with me whether you like it or not.
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If you haven't subscribed yet, please do so now so you don't miss a beat on this.
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But I want to say thank you so much for being here.
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And of course, if you're here and listening, you're already doing this work.
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Until next time.
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If this episode landed somewhere, don't just let it sit there.
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That feeling you have right now is your body telling you something's ready to shift.
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You've been through big changes before.
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This time you get to trust yourself through it.
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Book a 15-minute identity shift call at Leslyturner.ca.
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We'll get clear on what's changing for you and what you need now.
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And you'll leave knowing your next step.
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If this episode was the one that made you pull over and think, wait, is she talking about me?
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Please subscribe, leave a review, and send it to the woman in your life who needs to hear it.
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You know exactly who I'm talking about.
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Find me on Instagram at the Leslie Turner.
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I'd love to hear from you.
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And until next time, the fact that you're here and listening means you're already doing this work.