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Welcome to Growing Plants, Grown People, the podcast where we discover that the principles which help garden flourish are often the same principles that help people grow.
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And together we're exploring one of the most fascinating gardens of all.
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The human mind.
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Have you ever noticed how quickly one thought can lead to another?
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You make a mistake, and almost instantly, another thought appears.
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I always do that.
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Something doesn't go according to plan.
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Someone asks you to do something you've never done before.
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And before you've even had time to think about it properly, there's a voice saying, I couldn't do that.
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But where did that response come from?
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And perhaps more importantly, when did it arrive so quickly?
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Because those thoughts may not be appearing in isolation.
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They may be part of a pattern.
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A pattern your brain has heard before.
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Recorded before.
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And learned to return to.
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And that's where today's conversation gets really interesting.
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Because in our last episode, we asked whether the words we repeatedly say to ourselves might actually be helping program the person we're becoming.
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Today we're going to discover how.
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It has to be simple.
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It has to be easy to use.
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And when put into practice, it has to work.
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And we finished that conversation with a question.
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What if the tool we've been looking for has actually been with us all along?
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The words we say to ourselves.
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Because we're already talking to ourselves all day long.
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In fact, one estimate used in the material we're exploring suggests that we may experience around thirty-five thousand thoughts in a single day.
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When I first heard this, Daniel, I couldn't imagine that we have thirty-five thousand thoughts in a single day.
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And yet that's the figure.
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Which certainly puts talking to ourselves into a rather different perspective.
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It does.
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And we'll come back to that number later.
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Because when you start multiplying it across a lifetime, it becomes extraordinary.
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But first we need to understand what
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happens to all those repeated messages.
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Because your brain isn't simply hearing them, it's learning from them.
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So let's keep growing together.
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I think there's something we need to make very clear before we go any further, Daniel.
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Go on.
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We're not suggesting that every random thought that crosses our mind suddenly becomes a belief.
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Absolutely not, Christian.
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Because if that were true, I think we'd probably all be in trouble.
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Very much so.
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But repetition is actually different, is it not, Daniel?
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Yes, quite.
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When a message keeps appearing, when we keep saying something about ourselves, when we repeatedly interpret experiences in the same way, the message becomes familiar.
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And as we've discovered throughout the series, how important repetition is to programming.
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Exactly.
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Your brain learns from what it repeatedly receives.
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So if I repeatedly tell myself I'm no good at this, you're not simply describing one difficult moment.
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I'm actually reinforcing a message.
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Yes.
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And the more familiar that message becomes, the easier it can become for your brain to return to it.
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Which means next time something similar happens.
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That familiar thought may already be waiting.
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That begins to explain why some reactions feel almost automatic.
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Exactly.
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And this brings us to one of the most important ideas in today's episode.
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The feedback loop.
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Yes.
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Think about it like this.
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Your brain receives information from your experiences, from other people, and from the things you repeatedly tell yourself.
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And over time, some of those messages become established patterns.
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Yes.
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Then when you encounter something new, your brain doesn't necessarily approach it with a completely blank page.
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It has history.
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Exactly.
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It has previous experiences, previous beliefs, previous interpretations, previous messages.
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So what's already there can influence how we interpret what's happening now?
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Yes.
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And then our response creates another experience, which gives the brain more information, which can strengthen the pattern again.
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So that's the loop.
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That is indeed the loop.
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So what we've previously recorded influences the way we think.
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The way we think influences the way we respond, and our response can then reinforce what's already there.
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Exactly.
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And I can immediately see how that could work in either direction.
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Which is where the golden brain comes in.
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Now, Daniel, I've heard you explain this before, and I actually think this is one of those ideas that's much easier to understand when you can picture it.
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Oh, it really is.
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It really is.
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So imagine for a moment that we could somehow look at all the programming you've accumulated throughout your life.
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And imagine that every one of those messages had a color.
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So imagine that for good, healthy, positive thoughts and good, successful experiences, those are colored in gold.
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Healthy, positive.
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It works for you.
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It takes you forward.
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Now imagine that the thoughts that you think and the experiences you have that don't take you either forward or backward, they're neutral.
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They color you, they're come with a color that's just neutral.
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It doesn't work for you, it doesn't work against you.
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Now imagine that those experiences and those thoughts that are negative are dark gray.
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So negative again means doubting, disbelief, holding you back, stopping you, not taking you forward.
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So visualize briefly that you see a sketch of your brain.
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And the sketch of the brain, it's a light color so that different colors can be marked onto your brain.
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So as you go throughout your day and you think a thought that works for you, or you have a success, mentally pause and visualize making one dot on that map of your brain in gold.
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If you go throughout your day and maybe somebody, for instance, asks you, How are you doing today?
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and you say something like fine or okay, not helping you necessarily, not holding you back.
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Pause and visualize making one dot on your brain picture in the neutral colored pen.
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Now let's say as you go throughout your day, something goes wrong, and you think something like, This never works out for me, why am I even
trying?
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Pause there and just mentally select the pen that would correspond to that thought.
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In this case to me, that sounds like dark gray.
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It's negative, it's holding you back, and make one dot on that imagined sketch in your brain.
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So throughout your day, you're having these experiences, golden experiences, positive experiences, neutral experiences, or dark gray, negative experiences.
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Now we're coloring our brains over and over with those thoughts and with those experiences.
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And the important thing to remember here is that those thoughts and those experiences very rarely happen in complete isolation from each other.
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So when you have a thought that's positive, and you make that one dot on your brain picture, it's actually attracting other similar colored thoughts.
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In this case, gold thoughts.
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So the pattern is spreading throughout your brain.
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Or something bad happens, a negative dark gray experience, right?
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It doesn't happen just in isolation.
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You make that one dot, but it's like your brain has a bridge to the other experiences that it's stored through repetition, the other thoughts that have been negative and holding you back.
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And then it makes that bridge to those other thoughts.
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It learned.
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Your brain learned from that repeated experience.
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So when we're thinking positive thoughts or negative thoughts or neutral thoughts, we can imagine that we're coloring our brain, and with each experience and each thought, we're attracting the same color into our brain from the repeated messages that have already been stored.
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Very few of us would be completely gold, completely neutral, or completely negative.
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Most of us have a mixture of those experiences, a mixture of the self-talk that we're using that takes us forward, doesn't really do anything, or holds us back.
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But I think it's so powerful to think about your brain in this imaginary way with the various colors, because the color, right, the messages that predominate in anyone's brain, that is the color through which they will view the world, everything in the world, and everything about themselves.
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So we end up seeing the world, we experience the world, we interpret the world through the lens of the color that has been painted most into our brains.
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I think that was so useful about the picture that it's uh we're not actually saying that life itself is always gold, then are we, Daniel?
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No, we aren't.
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Difficult things still happen.
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They absolutely do.
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Yes.
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But the program we're carrying can influence what brings those situations.
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And that's the key.
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The circumstances in front of two people might be remarkably similar, but the messages their brains are feeding back to them can be very different.
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Let me make that really practical.
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Imagine two people looking at an area of their garden that simply isn't working.
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Same situation.
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Plants have struggled, some have died, the border certainly doesn't look the way they'd hoped it would.
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And one person's familiar internal message might be I'm hopeless at this.
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I never get things right.
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I've wasted money on plants again, maybe I'm just no good at gardening.
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And once that starts, the feedback loop has something very similar to work with.
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Yes.
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They might say, okay, this hasn't worked.
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Why?
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Is it the soil?
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Is there too much shade?
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Are these simply the wrong plants for this position?
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What can I learn from this?
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It's the same garden.
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It's the same problem.
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But very different internal conversations.
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And potentially very different behavior.
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Absolutely, because the second gardener might investigate the soil, look at how much light the border is actually receiving, they might find out what those plants need, and they may make a different decision next time.
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Not because they're pretending the plants haven't died.
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Or pretending that the border looks wonderful when it doesn't.
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But because they're choosing a different message about what that experience means.
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And I think that's quite an important distinction, wouldn't you say, Daniel?
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I would.
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The first gardener turns an unsuccessful border into a statement about themselves.
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I'm no good at gardening.
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The second turns it into information.
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Something hasn't worked here.
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What can I learn from it?
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And that's an important distinction when we
talk about self-talk.
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Because I suspect someone listening might be thinking, hang on, isn't this just telling yourself everything is wonderful when it isn't?
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And the answer is no.
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If three plants have died in my border, standing there telling myself they're flourishing beautifully doesn't make them alive.
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No, and that's certainly not what we're suggesting here.
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The plants have died, that is the reality.
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Yes.
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But the plants have died, and I'm hopeless at gardening are two completely different statements.
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That's really important, Daniel.
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One describes what happened, and the other turns out what happened into a belief about who I am.
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Exactly.
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Effective self-talk isn't about denying reality.
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It's not about automatically adding an unhelpful story of reality or to reality.
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That's beautifully put.
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This hasn't worked.
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Is very different from I can never get anything right.
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I made a mistake.
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Is very different from I always mess everything up.
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I don't know what this plant me needs yet.
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Is very different from I'm no good at gardening.
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And each version gives the brain a very different message.
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Exactly.
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Because the purpose isn't to create a fantasy.
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It's to create a more useful response to our reality.
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Yes.
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Yes.
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Now, earlier you mentioned that figure of approximately 35,000 thoughts a day.
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Mind-blowing.
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I did, yes.
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And you said that we'd come back to it, Daniel.
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I did, Christian, because this is where those numbers become quite extraordinary.
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If you think just thirty-five thousand thoughts in a day, that would mean you're thinking approximately twelve million seven hundred seventy-five thousand thoughts in a year.
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Let me just process that one.
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Yes.
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But wait.
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If you lived to be eighty-five years old using the same calculation, you'd arrive at approximately one billion eighty-five million eight hundred seventy-five thousand thoughts.
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That's more than one billion individual thoughts across a lifetime.
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I'm just catching my breath here because when you hear it like that, the scale of conversation we're having with ourselves is absolutely enormous.
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Oh, it is.
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It is.
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But I think we actually need to be very careful here.
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Definitely, yes.
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Because if the message isn't you'd better make all those one billion thoughts positive.
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No, no, the message is not that.
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And please don't try.
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Because actually, I think that sounds like it's almost exhausting personal growth program that we haven't discussed yet.
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Well, yes, and and it certainly wouldn't pass the three tests from our last episode.
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It's it's definitely not simple.
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Certainly not easy to use.
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I would say it's probably not terribly effective either.
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No.
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The point is something much more encouraging.
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We have an enormous number of opportunities to reinforce a different message.
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Exactly.
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Exactly.
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You don't have to try to get every thought right.
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But you can begin paying attention to the ones you repeat.
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Yes.
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And perhaps this is where everything we've been exploring throughout the foundation series begins to come together.
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I think it does.
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Very much.
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Because if repeated messages help create some of the patterns we're carrying today, then repeated messages can also become part of creating different patterns.
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And that's where neuroplasticity comes, well, becomes such an important part in this conversation.
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Yes.
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Because the brain isn't simply a finished structure that stops changing once we become adults.
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It can continue learning.
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Continue adapting.
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And strengthening different patterns.
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When we repeatedly think in a more constructive way, intentional and self-directed way, we begin giving the brain different information to work with.
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And gradually the feedback loop has something different to feedback.
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Yes, yes.
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And here is the wonderful news.
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And I really do love this bit because the color of yesterday's picture doesn't have to be the color of
tomorrow's.
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And you don't need to change a billion thoughts to begin.
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You just simply need to start noticing the messages that you're repeating now.
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Yes.
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If today's conversation has helped you recognize some of the messages your own brain may have learned to feed back to you, we've created a simple reflection worksheet to help you explore your own patterns.
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It will help you notice some of the phrases you repeatedly use about yourself, particularly when something goes wrong, when you're under pressure, when you're attempting to do something new, and rather than trying to change everything at once, we'll simply invite you to notice what messages appear most often.
00:28:50.720 --> 00:28:55.359
You can download it using the link in today's show notes.
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Before we leave you today, we'd like you to notice something.
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Not thirty-five thousand things.
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Definitely not.
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Just one?
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Yes.
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The next time something doesn't go according to plan, notice what you say to yourself.
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Don't judge it.
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Don't fight with it.
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Just notice it.
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Because perhaps you'll hear a message you've heard many times before.
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I can't.
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I'm useless at this.
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Things never work out for me.
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Or perhaps something completely different.
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And when you notice it, ask yourself one question.
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Is this the message I want my brain to keep practicing?
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Because awareness gives us somewhere to begin.
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Today we've discovered that our thoughts aren't necessarily isolated moments.
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Repeated thoughts can become familiar patterns.
00:30:38.640 --> 00:30:44.799
And familiar patterns can influence the messages our brain feeds back to us.
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Which means the programming we're carrying matters.
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But there's still one very important part of the story we haven't yet explored.
00:31:00.799 --> 00:31:01.440
Right.
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Because programming doesn't stop with programming.
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It influences something else.
00:31:10.240 --> 00:31:13.200
And that influences something else.
00:31:13.920 --> 00:31:21.839
Until eventually we arrive at the results we're creating in our lives.
00:31:24.319 --> 00:31:33.039
So how do we get from the messages programmed into our brain to the things that we actually do?
00:31:34.799 --> 00:31:39.680
And ultimately to the results we experience.
00:31:40.799 --> 00:31:42.480
There's a sequence.
00:31:44.079 --> 00:31:56.000
And once you understand that sequence, a great deal of what we've been exploring throughout this foundation series begins to fall into place.
00:31:58.559 --> 00:31:59.839
Programming.
00:32:00.880 --> 00:32:02.000
Beliefs.
00:32:02.960 --> 00:32:11.279
Attitudes, feelings, actions, and results.
00:32:14.960 --> 00:32:21.599
In our next episode, we're going to follow that sequence from beginning to end.
00:32:22.480 --> 00:32:32.400
And discover why changing what happens at the beginning can ultimately change what happens at the end.
00:32:33.920 --> 00:32:38.079
And that is called the self-management sequence.
00:32:41.599 --> 00:32:46.400
If repeated thoughts can strengthen old pathways.
00:32:46.720 --> 00:32:51.200
Then repeated new messages can begin creating different ones.
00:32:51.599 --> 00:33:01.440
And every one of us has the opportunity to become more intentional about the conversation happening inside our own mind.
00:33:02.079 --> 00:33:08.000
Remember, you weren't the one believing the things that now hold you back.
00:33:08.400 --> 00:33:14.640
The most important conversation you'll ever have is the one you have with yourself.
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Make it count.