S05 EP38:Tom Parry (The Return)

WEBVTT
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Hello, I'm Rob Beckett.
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And I'm Josh Willicombe.
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Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and
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I discuss what it's really like to be a parent,
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which I would say can be a little tricky.
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So, to make ourselves, and hopefully you, feel better about
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the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting, each week
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we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping.
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Or hopefully how they're not coping.
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And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener, with
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your tips, advice and, of course, tales of parenting woe.
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Because, let's be honest, there are plenty of times when
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none of us know what we're doing. Hello, you're listening
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to Parenting Hell with.
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Can you say Rob Beckett?
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Rob Beckett. And Josh Widdicombe. Say Josh Widdicombe. Josh Widdicombe.
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Thank you.
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This is Jack, 35 months, nearly three, with his baby brother, Ellis,
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eight months in the background.
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We are from Holton, near Lancaster.
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Three and eight months.
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Three and eight months. Fuck. Mama.
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We've been listening from the start and laughed every week,
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except one. No, it's kept us sane. My husband, Ben,
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and I like to use a Crosby's Law question to
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passively aggressive say, at least say what's annoying us, in
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a jokey, in quotation marks, way. We haven't tried the
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nice bit yet. Thanks for the laugh. Danielle Walker, 34
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years old.
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How are you, Rob? I'm all good. Another gig, more
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gigs done. Nearly home. Be home next week. So I'm
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very excited about going home.
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When you get home, are you going to go big
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style on being a great parent? Like, to make up
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for it.
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Do you know what I mean?
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Well, Lou's going away in January with a friend for
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like five nights.
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Oh.
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So that's a loose little trip away to look forward to.
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So she's got that. But, yeah, when I get back,
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we've got loads of stuff planned. They're going to have
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a Kids Choose Day where they get to choose what
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they want to do. So they want to go, like,
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wall climbing to start the morning. So we're going to
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go that and do that as a family. All of
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us are going to do it. And then they can
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do whatever they want. They can choose. If anyone's got
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any advice or some sort of ground rules on if
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anyone's done a Kids Choose Day, can they also call
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it a Yes Day? in America we just have to
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say yes.
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Oh my word are you nervous about that.
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I'm quite excited actually it's really quite fun because then
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you sort of fly out most of the time I
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do want to say yes but my sort of adult
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parent brain goes oh no I probably shouldn't do that
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should I also when I just said that out loud
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I sort of forgot you sort of forget you're a
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parent when you go away with work I've not had
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to do any parenting you're sort of like oh yeah
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I'm a Dad with responsibilities has to go, no, you
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shouldn't do that because of this. But I'm just sort
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of like, at the moment, I'm just a bloke who
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just wanders around and does a gig.
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Yeah, of course.
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Because I'm trying to live in the moment. I was like,
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I mean, I've got kids, haven't I, that I have
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to sort of tell off sometimes. You've got to have responsibility.
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Fuck.
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It's sort of like it just dawned on me that
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I've got, like, children. What? When you're looking after them,
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you're so in it of looking after them.
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I've got children.
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You're just a man who sleeps, shits and walks. That's
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all you are at the moment.
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Absolutely.
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In that order.
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I sleep, I shit, I walk. And then I walk
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and talk on stage and then go back to sleep again.
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Yeah.
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But, yeah. As I'm talking to you, I was like, yeah,
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I've got children. I sort of... You sort of forget,
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when you're in the middle of your life, you sort
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of forget what you're doing, don't you, when you're busy
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with it. But, like, when you have space to think,
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it's like, I've got a wife and children. I'm old.
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I realised I was old as well. I met up
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with one of my friends who were in Adelaide. If
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anyone's read my book, I met up with a Howitzer,
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this lovely family that sort of took me under their
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wing when I was in Adelaide years ago.
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Years ago when you were a young buck.
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I did it again, right?
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I keep saying young buck.
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I've done it twice in two episodes.
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A young buck.
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And I was, yeah, I had no money. I was skinned.
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And they looked after me and drove me around and
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bought me dinners and stuff like that. Anyway, so their daughter,
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who's like a grown-up now, she's like a 25-year-old midwife.
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She lives up near Brisbane. So I met her for
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some lunch and stuff like that. And, you know, it
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was nice to catch up with her. And her friends
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turned up. And they were all 25. And they're not
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even like young. 25 is like a grown woman, isn't it?
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That's like an adult. It's not like 19 or 21.
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You're not talking to the police now.
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No but i just 36 i was just sat there
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i was like i am so fucking up yeah jump
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between 25 and 35 and you've got two kids i
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was like this is fucking bananas i don't know do
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you know.
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What i always think you know when you get like
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a middle-aged divorcee who then gets a young partner I
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always think the worst thing about that, I think one-on-one,
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I think that'd be all right. The worst thing would
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be when you've then got to go and like socialize
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with their friends.
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Do you know what I mean? When you're the old person.
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Going oh my god on the lash with some 25
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year olds you'd just be like.
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This is weird yeah because also they're like they're quite
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like you know grown up they've got careers and they've
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got but like and they were lovely but i was
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like i'm 36 and they're 25 it's not even a
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big gap if i if i had a 25 year
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old girlfriend it would be like oh that's a big
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gap but it wouldn't be like oh my god that's
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disgusting 11 years is a bit too long but it's
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not like it's not like newspaper like yeah pervy relationship
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isn't it you see some of these old blokes have
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like 20 year younger girlfriend but like i was like
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i just i couldn't be in a relationship with someone
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that much younger it would be mental i just stood
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there in the corner of like an n-dubs concert going
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what the fuck am i doing.
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Here dressed up like you're 25.
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Oh god did i tell you i went to a
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dualipa gig on my own oh yeah you.
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Did say this in perth Did you say this on
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the show?
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They were lovely, but it was just like, about 25 minutes,
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it was just like, they were all travelling, and one
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of them had boyfriends, one of them didn't, and they
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were just talking about, and it was like, yeah, just
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go and do that. Did they know who you were?
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Eva did, because I've met her before.
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Yeah.
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Yeah, I don't mean, did he just sidle up and
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say hi? It's the weirdest night out I've ever had, okay?
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So I text Eva and said, oh, we're coming up
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to Brisbane, if you want to come to the show.
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She went, brilliant, I'll come with my friends. Can I
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have four tickets? I was like, yeah, sure. And I
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got there, I had a night off before the show.
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She went, oh, do you want to go for some drinks,
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watch the Australia game? Because it was on against Tunisia.
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I went, yeah, cool, no worries.
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She went, oh, I went.
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And her friends came. And then it turned out her
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friends were Finnish. And one of them, so she had...
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One of her friends was coming the next day for
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the gig. And then she had a friend who she
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met in Ibiza six years ago, who is traveling and
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is from Finland. And then she met another girl a
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week ago. also from Finland, on some sort of Facebook
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travelling group. So they'd known each other a week and
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were travelling together, and then they'd gone up to Brisbane.
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What a group. At the bar, I met Eva, who
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I met twice 10 years ago when I was in
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the age, right?
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When she was 15.
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15, and now she's 25, which doesn't sound good if
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you're talking to the police either, does it really? LAUGHTER Anyway,
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so she turns up. So I've met her a couple
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of times. We always talk about the WhatsApp group with
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her parents and stuff. Anyway, so she turns up with
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a friend that she's known six years ago from Finland.
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And this other girl that she's just met a week ago,
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but Eva has only met her an hour ago because
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she didn't know she was coming. They met me in
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the bar. So I'm meeting these two people for the
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first time. My tour manager's there, lovely Justin, who I've
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only known for two weeks. Right? So no one really
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knows anyone at his drinks. And then we go have
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a couple of drinks. We go and get some food.
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And Justin went, oh, my cousin and his girlfriend are
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in town. They're going to come for dinner. I was like, okay.
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I'm sat around a dinner table. I was like, I
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don't know these people. I know Eva. But anyone else here,
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the longest is Justin I've known for two weeks. Everyone
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else I've known for about an hour.
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And no one else knows each other either.
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I felt like a mature student. You know, like when
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you have to meet everyone that's on your calls.
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Oh, God.
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Like, oh, hello, yeah, I'm 36. Yeah, it didn't really
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work out for me.
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I'm back here now.
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What am I like?
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Do you want to feel some comfortable shoes? Because I've
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got a pair. Rob, in honour of Australia, do you
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want a quick couple of boomer Australian stories?
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Yeah.
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Yeah? Before we go into the guest.
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Yeah. I love when it's got an Australian special. Go on.
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Howdy.
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Grew up in Darwin in the 70s, early 80s, and
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spent a lot of weekends camping in the bush. One
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trip that stands out. This feels like I've just made
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up an Australian email, doesn't it?
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But there we go. Howdy doesn't sound Australian, does it?
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No.
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G'day.
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G'day. G'day.
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Absolutely fucking ripper.
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One trip that stands out. The mum's job, one trip
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stands out with a couple of other families into the bush.
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About eight kids under 12. The mum's job was to
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sort the food and the dad's were on drinks. We
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drove for three hours into the middle of nowhere. Arrive,
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no shade, 38 degrees from in, dying of thirst. The
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only drink that they bought for four days was beer.
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No water, no soft drink.
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Just beer. This boomer is veering into just sort of
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terrible parenting.
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It's not.
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It got worse.
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The spot they chose to set up camp was downwind
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of a dead buffalo. I still feel sick thinking about
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the smell. Day two, a ranger shows up to announce
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that we are metres from a crocodile nest. Of course,
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we didn't move or leave. The only reason we got
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water was because they had bags of ice to keep
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the beer cold.
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Cheers, Vicky. Oh, my God, Vicky, it... Are you allowed
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to drink bags of ice? Is that good water?
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Well, I think desperate times, desperate measures, really.
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Better than a... better than a buffalo carcass in a
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can of beer or something um oh that is bad
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isn't it yeah the sun's so hot here when it
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comes out it's an absolute joke i think it's a
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different one i think they've got their own one you.
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Want to hear this is a good one Hey, Josh
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and Rob.
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Thanks for being my favourite sexy duo, even though I'm 26, childless,
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and some British references go right over my head as
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a Sydney, Australia dweller.
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Rob, this is.
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Exactly the kind of person you go out for a
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00:10:26.149 --> 00:10:26.509
drink with.
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In the 70s, my great-grandmother was babysitting my uncle and mum.
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She disapproved of my uncle's middle name. So one day,
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took him to the city hall and had his middle
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name legally changed without telling his parents.
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No.
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No.
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Laura from Sydney that is incredible isn't.
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It that is bananas have I told you about my
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00:10:50.379 --> 00:10:52.340
friend I've got to be quite delicate with this I've
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00:10:52.360 --> 00:10:54.210
got to try and change it slightly so it's still
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you get the story without it being too obvious who
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00:10:56.809 --> 00:11:01.549
it is my friend's parents looked after their child yeah
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and dropped him back at the house dropped him back
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at the home yeah and had taken him to get
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his first haircut no.
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Oh my word and What have you changed?
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That's what I think.
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Not enough.
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Not enough. Let's leave it at that.
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Right, who have we got?
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We have got an absolute parenting hell classic returning. If
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you haven't listened to the original episode with Tom Parry,
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go back and listen to it now. It was one
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00:11:32.639 --> 00:11:36.919
of our great early episodes. A man absolutely at the
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end of his tether, or not even, a man absolutely
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positive in the worst situation possible. As an early months parent.
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We rejoin him two years later to see how he's doing.
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We need to say a bit of a warning, Josh.
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We talk a lot about Christmas and Father Christmas.
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Yes.
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So just be aware. If you're listening to children. I
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wouldn't listen to this one with children. I wouldn't listen
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to this one with children. Hello and welcome to Parenting
286
00:12:08.710 --> 00:12:12.169
L for the second time, Mr. Tom Harry. And I'm
287
00:12:12.240 --> 00:12:14.500
very excited about this. Josh is excited. He's going to
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rub his hands together in a minute. He does that sometimes.
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Oh, my God.
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Talk about one of the most legendary episodes.
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LAUGHTER I don't really remember it, you know.
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I've had things I've said quoted back to me. It
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feels like, you know when you get hammered and you
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have one of those nights where you're blackout drunk and
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then the next two weeks people report it back to you.
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That's kind of how that record feels to me.
297
00:12:38.389 --> 00:12:39.129
Yeah.
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00:12:39.149 --> 00:12:42.090
People still say to be chicken because of the Euros.
299
00:12:42.129 --> 00:12:42.769
Yeah, exactly.
300
00:12:42.809 --> 00:12:43.230
That's it.
301
00:12:43.710 --> 00:12:46.610
And it's like, I don't really have any memory because
302
00:12:46.629 --> 00:12:48.129
that whole period is such a blur.
303
00:12:48.149 --> 00:12:48.240
Yeah.
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00:12:48.389 --> 00:12:49.700
We should update the listeners.
305
00:12:49.779 --> 00:12:49.980
Yeah.
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00:12:50.019 --> 00:12:52.860
If you haven't listened to the original episode, it might
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00:12:52.879 --> 00:12:54.799
be worth going back and listening to it now. And
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00:12:55.259 --> 00:12:58.769
it's Tom at the height of having a new baby.
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00:12:59.090 --> 00:13:01.450
How far in do you reckon we were, Tom? I
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00:13:01.450 --> 00:13:04.009
think it was like six or seven weeks. Six or
311
00:13:04.049 --> 00:13:04.669
seven weeks.
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00:13:05.029 --> 00:13:07.639
And you were doing shifts all through the night. So
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your partner would have the baby till like 1am, 2am,
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00:13:10.519 --> 00:13:13.019
and then you'd take over till the morning. And you
315
00:13:13.200 --> 00:13:15.019
was really excited about it and thought it was just
316
00:13:15.080 --> 00:13:15.799
normal and great.
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00:13:16.059 --> 00:13:18.480
And you'd sit up all night with the baby on you,
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00:13:18.519 --> 00:13:22.110
watching the Da Vinci Code and eating two satsumas or
319
00:13:22.139 --> 00:13:23.750
something and drinking coffee.
320
00:13:24.500 --> 00:13:26.690
And you had your special coffee cup and water cup,
321
00:13:26.730 --> 00:13:29.629
like a survivalist. Yeah, pint of coffee, pint of water.
322
00:13:29.929 --> 00:13:31.590
How do you look back on that time?
323
00:13:31.629 --> 00:13:35.059
I suppose is the first question. Before we do that,
324
00:13:35.080 --> 00:13:37.919
could we ask what people quote back at you from that, Tom,
325
00:13:38.320 --> 00:13:39.059
as a reminder?
326
00:13:39.220 --> 00:13:42.100
But, well, people just keep saying, like, are you okay?
327
00:13:42.419 --> 00:13:45.549
It felt mad. And, like, what happened?
328
00:13:46.149 --> 00:13:49.970
What was such a weird kind of juxtaposition was, like.
329
00:13:50.009 --> 00:13:52.889
My wife and I thinking, we're nailing this. And, like,
330
00:13:53.080 --> 00:13:56.539
we've really got this down. And then, like, an entire
331
00:13:56.620 --> 00:13:58.000
country telling us we're not.
332
00:13:58.480 --> 00:14:00.620
People who I haven't spoken to since I was at
333
00:14:00.639 --> 00:14:03.649
school on Facebook were like, congrats on the baby.
334
00:14:03.669 --> 00:14:04.850
It's mad what you're doing.
335
00:14:04.870 --> 00:14:04.950
Yeah.
336
00:14:07.379 --> 00:14:09.200
I haven't spoken to you in 20 years.
337
00:14:09.220 --> 00:14:14.019
So that was kind of like a universal feedback, which
338
00:14:14.059 --> 00:14:16.000
we weren't quite expecting, really.
339
00:14:17.639 --> 00:14:19.559
I mean, we didn't change what we were doing. We
340
00:14:19.580 --> 00:14:22.399
definitely stuck to our guns. So how long did you
341
00:14:22.419 --> 00:14:24.490
stick to it? Or are you still stuck to it?
342
00:14:24.529 --> 00:14:25.070
I don't know.
343
00:14:25.190 --> 00:14:27.049
No, don't worry. We're not still stuck to it.
344
00:14:28.210 --> 00:14:30.570
We should just say, for the listeners, what's the intervening
345
00:14:30.610 --> 00:14:31.450
period been?
346
00:14:31.450 --> 00:14:32.529
18 months, do you think?
347
00:14:32.620 --> 00:14:37.220
Yeah, our daughter is now two. Yeah, was two at
348
00:14:37.240 --> 00:14:38.159
the end of September.
349
00:14:38.179 --> 00:14:40.830
Oh, yeah, so about almost two years exactly. Yeah, yeah.
350
00:14:40.850 --> 00:14:43.110
Which is kind of a nice distance, really, to look
351
00:14:43.129 --> 00:14:43.470
back from.
352
00:14:44.720 --> 00:14:46.960
No, we're obviously not still doing that, but it does
353
00:14:46.980 --> 00:14:49.320
feel like we're kind of stuck in a sort of
354
00:14:49.379 --> 00:14:52.029
version of that, but like a softer version of it.
355
00:14:52.320 --> 00:14:54.360
Oh, yes, please. Yes, please.
356
00:14:54.379 --> 00:14:57.230
Get his little face. I haven't realised, I've never seen
357
00:14:57.279 --> 00:14:59.649
Josh happy until we started doing this podcast and people
358
00:14:59.710 --> 00:15:02.889
talk about difficulties with children and it's his only time
359
00:15:02.970 --> 00:15:04.809
he's really experiencing joy.
360
00:15:04.830 --> 00:15:10.870
A life driven by Charlotte. That's kind of parenting summed
361
00:15:10.909 --> 00:15:12.289
up in a sentence, isn't it really?
362
00:15:12.549 --> 00:15:15.269
Yeah. We still kind of have like a tag system.
363
00:15:15.330 --> 00:15:17.690
I guess, where we were with Jane's mom for the
364
00:15:17.730 --> 00:15:21.289
first kind of six months or so. And then we
365
00:15:21.309 --> 00:15:24.309
got our own place, which made a hell of a difference.
366
00:15:24.450 --> 00:15:27.570
I mean, the one thing I didn't realize was just
367
00:15:27.669 --> 00:15:31.730
how amazing it is living with your mother-in-law for that
368
00:15:31.809 --> 00:15:36.240
first bit of time. Because like laundry, my God, like
369
00:15:36.269 --> 00:15:37.600
I hadn't even thought about laundry.
370
00:15:37.620 --> 00:15:39.840
Yeah. And now I look back on.
371
00:15:39.779 --> 00:15:41.720
That and think... So she did all the washing? She
372
00:15:41.740 --> 00:15:42.419
did all the washing.
373
00:15:42.710 --> 00:15:44.110
So she was washing your pants as well?
374
00:15:44.129 --> 00:15:44.870
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
375
00:15:44.990 --> 00:15:47.669
She was doing the lot. What a shift. Because, like,
376
00:15:47.889 --> 00:15:49.889
I don't know how delicately to say this, Tom, but
377
00:15:50.269 --> 00:15:51.990
I've spent some time with you and played football with you.
378
00:15:52.009 --> 00:15:54.389
I wouldn't want to wash your clothes. You're a big,
379
00:15:54.490 --> 00:15:55.110
sweaty man.
380
00:15:55.129 --> 00:15:59.799
Oh, yeah. I can't be insulted by that. It's the truth.
381
00:16:01.179 --> 00:16:02.539
Also, a man that doesn't wear pants.
382
00:16:02.860 --> 00:16:04.360
Well, I try and reduce the load, you know.
383
00:16:04.419 --> 00:16:07.259
Fair enough. I've got Thelma's interest.
384
00:16:06.980 --> 00:16:07.759
At heart, you know.
385
00:16:09.750 --> 00:16:11.830
Yeah, no pants, just my jeans that my dick has
386
00:16:11.850 --> 00:16:13.029
been rubbing. You can wash them.
387
00:16:14.370 --> 00:16:15.769
How often do you wash your jeans if you're not
388
00:16:15.809 --> 00:16:18.960
wearing pants? Because I don't really wash my jeans that often. No,
389
00:16:18.980 --> 00:16:20.799
you're not supposed to wash them that often.
390
00:16:21.039 --> 00:16:22.399
Yeah, but you're supposed to be wearing pants to them,
391
00:16:22.419 --> 00:16:23.539
not having your bare arse on them.
392
00:16:23.799 --> 00:16:26.360
I only go commando on football days. Right, OK. Let
393
00:16:26.399 --> 00:16:27.179
the record show.
394
00:16:27.340 --> 00:16:30.440
Fair enough. I've only ever seen you on football days
395
00:16:31.350 --> 00:16:33.210
when you're getting quickly changed for a gig.
396
00:16:33.529 --> 00:16:34.230
Yeah, exactly.
397
00:16:34.330 --> 00:16:36.789
And I'm always surprised when it's just shorts off, nothing else.
398
00:16:37.909 --> 00:16:44.519
LAUGHTER Anyway, back to the child. So how are you
399
00:16:44.539 --> 00:16:45.659
in a softer version?
400
00:16:45.679 --> 00:16:48.629
You know you're supposed to freeze your jeans? Oh, yeah?
401
00:16:49.029 --> 00:16:49.470
You what?
402
00:16:49.809 --> 00:16:53.110
If you put jeans in a freezer overnight, it kills
403
00:16:53.169 --> 00:16:54.929
as much bacteria as if you washed them.
404
00:16:55.669 --> 00:16:57.679
But you don't damage your jeans. Right.
405
00:16:57.720 --> 00:17:00.720
Because I do agree that the moment you start washing jeans,
406
00:17:00.740 --> 00:17:01.519
they never look the same.
407
00:17:01.840 --> 00:17:04.240
Yeah, totally agree. Anyway, I digress.
408
00:17:05.980 --> 00:17:08.680
But freeze freeze your jeans freeze your jeans okay put
409
00:17:08.700 --> 00:17:10.599
them in a carrier bag would you clear out a
410
00:17:10.900 --> 00:17:12.779
shelf in the freezer or you put them on top
411
00:17:12.799 --> 00:17:13.799
of your hash browns.
412
00:17:13.920 --> 00:17:16.809
Yeah well we had a situation like this we had
413
00:17:16.920 --> 00:17:20.430
moths a few years ago and anything that's been mothed
414
00:17:20.730 --> 00:17:22.869
you made a freeze shove it in the freezer to
415
00:17:22.910 --> 00:17:26.230
kill all the moth eggs so we had a period
416
00:17:26.269 --> 00:17:31.200
where our freezer was like you know Linda McCartney sausages, pizza,
417
00:17:31.480 --> 00:17:34.400
and then, like, a scarf. Like, just for, like, a
418
00:17:34.420 --> 00:17:35.180
few weeks.
419
00:17:35.829 --> 00:17:36.049
Yeah.
420
00:17:36.450 --> 00:17:38.150
Well, get your jeans in there. Yeah, I will.
421
00:17:38.210 --> 00:17:38.769
I will do.
422
00:17:39.329 --> 00:17:41.950
I bet it's nice as well. Like, I would quite
423
00:17:41.970 --> 00:17:43.680
enjoy putting them on straight out of the freezer.
424
00:17:43.819 --> 00:17:44.279
Wouldn't you?
425
00:17:44.359 --> 00:17:45.500
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
426
00:17:45.890 --> 00:17:48.390
I quite like putting a wet T-shirt on that's just
427
00:17:48.410 --> 00:17:50.190
been put out to dry in the summer and I
428
00:17:50.230 --> 00:17:51.279
let it just dry my body.
429
00:17:51.539 --> 00:17:52.240
Oh, yeah, sexy.
430
00:17:52.480 --> 00:17:58.660
Keep talking. There's some people at home absolutely loving this. Sorry,
431
00:17:58.700 --> 00:18:00.599
what were we talking about? Talking about moving out.
432
00:18:00.619 --> 00:18:03.200
My nipples go rock hard and I'm just lying in
433
00:18:03.240 --> 00:18:03.720
the sun.
434
00:18:05.910 --> 00:18:08.589
So how are you, Tom, on a softer version of
435
00:18:08.630 --> 00:18:10.009
what you were living two years ago?
436
00:18:10.430 --> 00:18:13.789
We're still stuck in a kind of round-the-clock surveillance type situation.
437
00:18:13.930 --> 00:18:17.480
Right. Whereby... Glo's got her own room. She's two. She's
438
00:18:17.500 --> 00:18:19.359
got a bed, actually. She's out the cot. She's into
439
00:18:19.380 --> 00:18:22.200
the bed. Oh, yeah, big day. Yeah, huge day. But
440
00:18:22.259 --> 00:18:24.400
we've got a double mattress on the floor next to
441
00:18:24.619 --> 00:18:25.480
Glo's bed.
442
00:18:25.519 --> 00:18:25.680
Yeah.
443
00:18:25.980 --> 00:18:27.559
And that's pretty much Jane's bed.
444
00:18:27.829 --> 00:18:28.369
Right.
445
00:18:28.589 --> 00:18:31.589
So Jane is still sleeping in Glo's room. We get
446
00:18:31.650 --> 00:18:34.990
about two hours together, Jane and I, like there isn't
447
00:18:35.170 --> 00:18:35.970
on Glo time.
448
00:18:36.049 --> 00:18:38.650
It's like a prison, conjugal visit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
449
00:18:38.990 --> 00:18:41.539
And even that two hours is dominated by, we still
450
00:18:41.579 --> 00:18:43.880
have the video surveillance screen.
451
00:18:44.059 --> 00:18:46.380
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So there's a mattress in the kids'
452
00:18:46.420 --> 00:18:48.779
room because she'll wake up in the night and want
453
00:18:48.799 --> 00:18:50.019
to come into bed. So rather than have her in
454
00:18:50.039 --> 00:18:51.759
the bed, your partner just lays on the floor next
455
00:18:51.779 --> 00:18:52.259
to her bed.
456
00:18:52.599 --> 00:18:56.009
Yeah, well, Jane's still feeding, basically. Jane's still breastfeeding.
457
00:18:56.029 --> 00:18:56.849
Right, OK.
458
00:18:57.089 --> 00:19:01.190
Jane's like a big exponent of breastfeeding, and it really
459
00:19:01.230 --> 00:19:03.640
stutters in good stead, but we're kind of getting to
460
00:19:03.680 --> 00:19:05.880
the time now where we're trying to drop feeds and
461
00:19:05.920 --> 00:19:06.880
wean and stuff like that.
462
00:19:07.019 --> 00:19:09.200
Yeah. Oh, God, that's tough.
463
00:19:09.279 --> 00:19:12.509
It's the sort of... logistics of it when they're older
464
00:19:12.549 --> 00:19:14.529
and stuff like that isn't it really like with the
465
00:19:14.569 --> 00:19:16.230
breastfeeding like in the middle of the night they're going
466
00:19:16.250 --> 00:19:17.450
to want it in the middle of the night that's
467
00:19:17.470 --> 00:19:18.569
the difficulty.
468
00:19:18.109 --> 00:19:21.089
Yeah but like Jane's like a pro at like the
469
00:19:21.130 --> 00:19:23.930
breastfeeding kind of information she's got there's this woman called
470
00:19:23.970 --> 00:19:28.539
Emma Pickett who's like a breastfeeding guru right who is
471
00:19:28.579 --> 00:19:30.319
like a third member in our marriage at the moment
472
00:19:30.339 --> 00:19:31.539
like we talk about her most.
473
00:19:31.420 --> 00:19:34.759
Days How do you become a guru in breastfeeding? I mean,
474
00:19:34.819 --> 00:19:36.519
I don't know, but... She's a fourth member, Tom. You've
475
00:19:36.539 --> 00:19:37.420
got a daughter as well.
476
00:19:38.000 --> 00:19:40.329
Oh, yeah, well, yeah, of course. Of course, she's there
477
00:19:40.390 --> 00:19:40.809
as well, yeah.
478
00:19:42.130 --> 00:19:44.650
Does this mean, Tom, that you're in another room sleeping
479
00:19:44.710 --> 00:19:46.470
through in a double bed on your own?
480
00:19:46.490 --> 00:19:48.029
King. King! King!
481
00:19:51.910 --> 00:19:54.730
This is wonderful, Tom. No wonder you want the breastfeeding
482
00:19:54.750 --> 00:19:55.319
to carry on.
483
00:19:55.339 --> 00:19:58.059
Two years on, he couldn't be living a more different life.
484
00:19:58.599 --> 00:20:00.619
Well, no, but the arrangement is that I have to
485
00:20:00.660 --> 00:20:03.319
have the video screen in there and it's on. So
486
00:20:03.440 --> 00:20:07.180
even though Jane's in with Glo, I still wake with
487
00:20:07.220 --> 00:20:10.210
them and listen. And if they need me, Jane tells me.
488
00:20:10.309 --> 00:20:10.710
Right.
489
00:20:10.890 --> 00:20:14.170
So you're laying there awake when Jane's breastfeeding, just in case?
490
00:20:14.589 --> 00:20:15.910
Most times, yes. Okay.
491
00:20:16.150 --> 00:20:18.630
And then there's some kind of pivotal nights where I've
492
00:20:18.670 --> 00:20:19.380
slept through.
493
00:20:19.390 --> 00:20:19.470
Yeah.
494
00:20:20.019 --> 00:20:22.039
And that never goes down well, because I come in
495
00:20:22.079 --> 00:20:24.819
and go, God, that was a good night, wasn't it?
496
00:20:24.839 --> 00:20:27.259
And Jane will be like, no, it was not.
497
00:20:30.119 --> 00:20:33.690
So does she express breastfeeding into bottles as well for
498
00:20:33.730 --> 00:20:34.170
you to do?
499
00:20:34.710 --> 00:20:37.809
So no, Jane's never expressed, so... Right. We've never had
500
00:20:37.829 --> 00:20:40.299
the need to, really. Or the particular desire to.
501
00:20:40.599 --> 00:20:42.759
So our routine now is kind of like, we take
502
00:20:42.799 --> 00:20:45.359
Glow to bed, and then I say goodnight to them.
503
00:20:45.619 --> 00:20:47.640
Jane has about an hour and a half where.
504
00:20:47.500 --> 00:20:50.009
She's kind of with Glow, feeding her to sleep and
505
00:20:50.029 --> 00:20:50.970
just rocking her to sleep.
506
00:20:51.029 --> 00:20:53.309
Then she goes to sleep. Well, I sort the house.
507
00:20:53.730 --> 00:20:55.990
Sort the house is good, isn't it? Sort the house.
508
00:20:56.009 --> 00:20:57.519
What the fuck does that mean?
509
00:20:57.539 --> 00:21:00.759
I love sort the house. I'll sort the house. Oh,
510
00:21:00.839 --> 00:21:05.259
don't worry. I'll sort the house. Podcast on. Few toys away,
511
00:21:05.279 --> 00:21:05.980
but the dishwasher on.
512
00:21:07.910 --> 00:21:09.690
I'm very aware I have to do some kind of
513
00:21:09.750 --> 00:21:10.329
heavy lifting.
514
00:21:10.630 --> 00:21:13.369
Yeah. So it's like that's my time to shine.
515
00:21:13.430 --> 00:21:14.730
I love sort the house. Yeah.
516
00:21:15.109 --> 00:21:17.329
Let's break down sort the house. Let's face it. Toys
517
00:21:17.369 --> 00:21:17.869
in the box.
518
00:21:18.029 --> 00:21:18.269
Yeah.
519
00:21:18.309 --> 00:21:20.089
Dishwasher. Wipe the sides.
520
00:21:20.410 --> 00:21:22.039
Let's not reduce it to just that.
521
00:21:22.119 --> 00:21:22.710
Well, what is it?
522
00:21:22.759 --> 00:21:23.470
Come on.
523
00:21:23.490 --> 00:21:26.619
Break down you've sorted the house. You've just left them upstairs.
524
00:21:26.640 --> 00:21:28.119
How often does Jane come down and you put up
525
00:21:28.140 --> 00:21:28.660
some shelves?
526
00:21:30.380 --> 00:21:33.599
Yeah, okay. Okay, that's fair. That is fair. Tom, I'm
527
00:21:33.619 --> 00:21:35.079
not having a go at you here. I'm a house
528
00:21:35.140 --> 00:21:35.819
sorter myself.
529
00:21:36.500 --> 00:21:36.680
Yeah.
530
00:21:36.920 --> 00:21:39.750
Oh yeah, I'm a fully fledged open house sorter. I
531
00:21:39.789 --> 00:21:41.410
love to suggest the house sort.
532
00:21:42.410 --> 00:21:45.299
The good thing is Rose doesn't really enjoy the house sort.
533
00:21:45.579 --> 00:21:48.700
So I get to sort the house. The kind of 7.30pm
534
00:21:48.740 --> 00:21:50.309
house sort is an absolute win.
535
00:21:50.849 --> 00:21:52.750
Bringing order to chaos, it feels good.
536
00:21:53.130 --> 00:21:55.380
It's the only time I feel in charge is when
537
00:21:55.390 --> 00:21:56.119
I'm sorting the house.
538
00:21:57.660 --> 00:21:59.500
Tell me three of your first steps to sorting the house, Tom.
539
00:21:59.519 --> 00:22:01.539
You come downstairs, podcast on immediately.
540
00:22:02.019 --> 00:22:04.200
Podcast on, go through, collect anything in the house that
541
00:22:04.220 --> 00:22:06.660
needs washing up, put it on the side, load the dishwasher,
542
00:22:06.740 --> 00:22:09.480
get the dishwasher on, come back, wash the stuff that
543
00:22:09.500 --> 00:22:12.950
can't go in the dishwasher, have a lovely time, and
544
00:22:12.990 --> 00:22:16.170
then front room, toys away, stick the telly on. LAUGHTER
545
00:22:19.960 --> 00:22:21.880
And then Jane comes down and says, have you wiped
546
00:22:21.900 --> 00:22:23.940
the sides? And I go, no, go back in and
547
00:22:23.960 --> 00:22:26.200
wipe the sides. Some days I can get away without
548
00:22:26.240 --> 00:22:26.920
wiping the sides.
549
00:22:26.940 --> 00:22:30.789
Just do mood lighting, put a few candles on. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
550
00:22:31.130 --> 00:22:33.950
What's your ruling on wiping the sides? Because we wipe
551
00:22:33.970 --> 00:22:36.029
the sides before bed every night.
552
00:22:36.650 --> 00:22:38.970
And I did not bring that rule in. No, it's
553
00:22:39.009 --> 00:22:39.789
not my rule either.
554
00:22:39.809 --> 00:22:42.329
No, that seems a bit hard and fast. Our house
555
00:22:42.369 --> 00:22:45.130
goes through stages of sort of like, it's always pretty clean,
556
00:22:45.150 --> 00:22:46.910
but then it can get away from us if we've
557
00:22:46.950 --> 00:22:48.869
just come back from somewhere and then we've gone a
558
00:22:48.890 --> 00:22:50.109
bit of a mad run. But yeah, it's not really
559
00:22:50.130 --> 00:22:51.869
a hard and fast rule. But if I do wipe
560
00:22:51.890 --> 00:22:54.619
the sides, Lou will probably do it again better. Right, yeah.
561
00:22:54.839 --> 00:22:55.200
Fair enough.
562
00:22:55.299 --> 00:22:57.039
But I was quite happy with the level that I
563
00:22:57.059 --> 00:22:57.450
did it at.
564
00:22:57.460 --> 00:22:59.460
Yeah, I'm accused of doing my wipes are too light
565
00:23:00.039 --> 00:23:02.059
and normally using the washing up water that I've just used.
566
00:23:02.079 --> 00:23:06.039
LAUGHTER You don't got any antibacterial spray, Tom?
567
00:23:06.099 --> 00:23:08.859
Come on, mate. There's some washing up liquid left in there,
568
00:23:08.880 --> 00:23:09.740
isn't there? I'm sure.
569
00:23:11.160 --> 00:23:13.200
So yeah, so we have like two hours there where
570
00:23:13.259 --> 00:23:16.059
I've sorted the house. We'll kind of go over the day.
571
00:23:16.420 --> 00:23:19.420
Sometimes we'll try and be romantic. And yeah, the screen
572
00:23:19.440 --> 00:23:21.930
stays on, which is kind of, I find an issue.
573
00:23:22.170 --> 00:23:24.809
So is the screen on the whole time?
574
00:23:24.849 --> 00:23:25.230
Yeah.
575
00:23:25.529 --> 00:23:26.710
Doesn't it flick on when.
576
00:23:27.029 --> 00:23:28.009
There's a noise. She wakes up.
577
00:23:28.009 --> 00:23:29.230
It doesn't flick on. It stays on.
578
00:23:29.630 --> 00:23:32.690
That setting, while we're both awake, the setting has to
579
00:23:32.730 --> 00:23:35.319
be that the screen's on. You can't even turn it off, so.
580
00:23:35.210 --> 00:23:35.710
It flicks on.
581
00:23:36.200 --> 00:23:37.759
So is that when you're downstairs?
582
00:23:37.920 --> 00:23:39.220
Even when we're upstairs as well.
583
00:23:39.240 --> 00:23:40.180
How big's your house?
584
00:23:40.440 --> 00:23:40.819
Tiny.
585
00:23:41.140 --> 00:23:41.640
All right, OK.
586
00:23:41.940 --> 00:23:42.640
Two up, two down.
587
00:23:42.900 --> 00:23:46.660
All right, OK. So you have a bit of telly time,
588
00:23:46.700 --> 00:23:48.109
watch a bit of telly, and then you go to bed.
589
00:23:48.140 --> 00:23:49.309
What time are you going to bed?
590
00:23:49.309 --> 00:23:49.440
10, 11?
591
00:23:49.430 --> 00:23:51.049
Try and be a bit earlier than that, yeah.
592
00:23:51.289 --> 00:23:54.599
And then the screen's on still. Am I sensing you're
593
00:23:54.640 --> 00:23:55.779
quite anti-screen?
594
00:23:55.900 --> 00:23:56.740
I'm anti-screen.
595
00:23:56.960 --> 00:23:57.200
OK.
596
00:23:57.240 --> 00:24:00.680
I'm anti-screen and I'm anti-grow egg. The grow eggs still
597
00:24:00.700 --> 00:24:01.579
dominate our house.
598
00:24:02.039 --> 00:24:02.640
What's a grow egg?
599
00:24:02.660 --> 00:24:04.819
You know those eggs that tell you the temperature? No.
600
00:24:05.259 --> 00:24:07.119
Well, I had a screen that had a temperature on
601
00:24:07.140 --> 00:24:07.539
the screen.
602
00:24:07.579 --> 00:24:10.109
Right, yeah. Yeah, that's what we have. We've got one
603
00:24:10.140 --> 00:24:13.049
of those. Rose is obsessed with the temperature. Yeah, temperature
604
00:24:13.069 --> 00:24:14.509
dominates conversations.
605
00:24:15.569 --> 00:24:18.730
Temperature combined with thickness of the sleeping bag.
606
00:24:18.890 --> 00:24:20.390
Yes, and pyjamas.
607
00:24:22.619 --> 00:24:24.809
All the time. Such a difficult time now.
608
00:24:24.829 --> 00:24:27.009
I mean, you know, I know global warming's fucking the planet,
609
00:24:27.029 --> 00:24:29.569
but most of all, it's fucking with our routines and
610
00:24:29.589 --> 00:24:30.809
what we're planning to wear at night.
611
00:24:31.269 --> 00:24:35.910
Because the arguments are no heat in loads of layers,
612
00:24:36.289 --> 00:24:37.880
but then the room looks too cold, but then you
613
00:24:37.890 --> 00:24:39.640
worry that they're getting too hot. But if you have
614
00:24:39.660 --> 00:24:42.779
the radiator on and then they're in less clothes, the
615
00:24:42.799 --> 00:24:44.160
radiator's going to go off at a certain point.
616
00:24:44.220 --> 00:24:46.619
Oh, it's so difficult. Can I make a confession?
617
00:24:46.640 --> 00:24:47.160
Go on. Go on.
618
00:24:47.599 --> 00:24:50.859
I still don't know what the temperature numbers mean. I
619
00:24:50.940 --> 00:24:53.430
never know what temperature is good or bad. I mean
620
00:24:53.450 --> 00:24:56.549
that in a daytime. When someone goes, it's 27 outside today,
621
00:24:56.569 --> 00:24:58.329
I go, I don't know what the temperatures mean.
622
00:24:58.390 --> 00:25:01.710
I thought I knew until, like, in a hotel room,
623
00:25:01.880 --> 00:25:04.460
if I've got it on 20 degrees or 19 degrees,
624
00:25:04.940 --> 00:25:08.940
I'm freezing cold. But I've been outside in 19 degrees
625
00:25:08.960 --> 00:25:10.599
getting sunburned and my top off.
626
00:25:10.660 --> 00:25:10.759
Yeah.
627
00:25:11.519 --> 00:25:13.980
I don't understand why there's a cold 19 and a
628
00:25:14.019 --> 00:25:14.920
hot 19.
629
00:25:14.920 --> 00:25:17.940
And then Rose's mum turns up and uses the other
630
00:25:18.000 --> 00:25:18.700
numbering system.
631
00:25:18.720 --> 00:25:19.299
Oh, what, like 78?
632
00:25:19.299 --> 00:25:19.440
No.
633
00:25:19.460 --> 00:25:22.759
Fahrenheit? Yeah, it's like... Where's she come from?
634
00:25:22.819 --> 00:25:23.259
New York?
635
00:25:24.240 --> 00:25:26.240
I was going to say, where's Fahrenheit come from?
636
00:25:26.420 --> 00:25:30.119
Oh, she's from the past, isn't she? She's from the past!
637
00:25:31.180 --> 00:25:33.829
You had to stop yourself from saying old and then
638
00:25:33.880 --> 00:25:34.789
said the past.
639
00:25:35.410 --> 00:25:37.369
Yeah, it didn't work. Put the heating on it. It'll
640
00:25:37.410 --> 00:25:38.430
only cost a few shilling.
641
00:25:38.450 --> 00:25:43.660
LAUGHTER Okay, so you go up to bed about nine-ish,
642
00:25:43.680 --> 00:25:45.019
then half nine, ten, screen's on.
643
00:25:45.039 --> 00:25:46.539
So you lit all night, Tom.
644
00:25:47.259 --> 00:25:48.940
The biggest issue is when, you know, if we're trying
645
00:25:48.960 --> 00:25:51.059
to be romantic, the screen still stays on.
646
00:25:52.000 --> 00:25:52.460
Oh, no.
647
00:25:52.680 --> 00:25:54.279
Oh, no. Oh, no.
648
00:25:54.380 --> 00:25:56.460
That's the biggest issue for me. What, the kind of
649
00:25:56.579 --> 00:25:58.039
light bouncing off your bodies?
650
00:25:58.819 --> 00:26:00.960
Yeah, well, just knowing that you're, you know, there's your
651
00:26:00.980 --> 00:26:02.700
daughter on screen just over there.
652
00:26:03.339 --> 00:26:04.359
You don't need that in your head.
653
00:26:04.519 --> 00:26:06.819
Yeah, no. But then also, if you turn it off,
654
00:26:06.839 --> 00:26:09.420
you'll be able to hear her if she makes some noise. Yeah.
655
00:26:09.789 --> 00:26:10.950
I mean, we'd be able to hear her if we
656
00:26:10.970 --> 00:26:14.150
didn't have the screen. Yes. It's a two-up, two-down, Terry's house.
657
00:26:14.490 --> 00:26:16.069
You know, she's not in the West Wing.
658
00:26:16.089 --> 00:26:20.250
LAUGHTER She's just literally there.
659
00:26:20.410 --> 00:26:20.690
Yes.
660
00:26:21.089 --> 00:26:24.109
When you're getting romantic, to use your terminology, do you
661
00:26:24.130 --> 00:26:26.309
turn the screen round, like turn it away from you?
662
00:26:26.430 --> 00:26:26.710
I do.
663
00:26:26.750 --> 00:26:28.069
Do you? I do, yeah.
664
00:26:28.150 --> 00:26:31.819
LAUGHTER I turn it away and then Jane, if she
665
00:26:31.839 --> 00:26:34.019
gets the chance, turns it back and we have a
666
00:26:34.059 --> 00:26:34.640
merry dance.
667
00:26:34.980 --> 00:26:37.579
Is that what you call it? Yeah.
668
00:26:37.920 --> 00:26:40.259
It's kind of imperative to Jane that the screen's right
669
00:26:40.299 --> 00:26:41.059
there at all times.
670
00:26:41.220 --> 00:26:43.359
And I do find it off-putting.
671
00:26:43.700 --> 00:26:47.920
I would too. I do. It's a weird sort of...
672
00:26:48.450 --> 00:26:50.250
fuzz as well isn't it is it quite a clear
673
00:26:50.309 --> 00:26:52.789
picture or is it just all the grainy black and white.
674
00:26:52.849 --> 00:26:55.920
No it's a fuzzy grainy it looks like a horror film.
675
00:26:55.740 --> 00:26:57.819
Doesn't it yeah that's the it looks like something bad
676
00:26:57.839 --> 00:27:01.200
is going to happen yeah and then you know after
677
00:27:01.240 --> 00:27:03.660
about half an hour of that Jane goes to bed
678
00:27:03.859 --> 00:27:06.049
and goes into the room and goes on the double
679
00:27:06.069 --> 00:27:08.569
mattress on the floor in anticipation of if Chloe wakes
680
00:27:08.630 --> 00:27:09.289
up in the night.
681
00:27:09.190 --> 00:27:12.450
Yeah Sorry, your routine is that you always get romantic
682
00:27:12.509 --> 00:27:14.990
every night. No, no, no. So you have a bit
683
00:27:15.049 --> 00:27:16.809
of time for half an hour.
684
00:27:16.869 --> 00:27:18.430
That's a bit wrong, fine.
685
00:27:18.490 --> 00:27:23.779
Half an hour every night. Okay, but you're just in
686
00:27:23.799 --> 00:27:26.339
the bed together for a bit. For a bit. Will
687
00:27:26.359 --> 00:27:28.470
she go asleep until the baby cries or just go
688
00:27:28.490 --> 00:27:29.069
in there by habit?
689
00:27:29.650 --> 00:27:31.930
At the moment, goes in there by habit because then
690
00:27:31.970 --> 00:27:33.789
she can just get as much sleep as possible and
691
00:27:34.410 --> 00:27:35.809
has to do as little as possible.
692
00:27:36.009 --> 00:27:39.609
Yeah, that six-second commute would really disrupt the apple cart
693
00:27:39.650 --> 00:27:41.390
if she fell asleep in her own bed.
694
00:27:43.210 --> 00:27:45.420
Look, it's very important that I have that king-size bed
695
00:27:45.460 --> 00:27:48.710
to myself. LAUGHTER I've just sorted the house, Rob.
696
00:27:48.769 --> 00:27:49.809
I'm knackered.
697
00:27:50.130 --> 00:27:50.869
He's knackered.
698
00:27:51.450 --> 00:27:54.220
He's having to make love for 30 minutes every night.
699
00:27:54.240 --> 00:27:55.180
He's exhausted.
700
00:27:57.759 --> 00:27:59.039
And then you sort of wake up with them if
701
00:27:59.059 --> 00:28:02.579
they wake up, even though you're not doing anything. Yeah, yeah.
702
00:28:02.740 --> 00:28:03.240
Moral support.
703
00:28:03.299 --> 00:28:04.980
Even though I'm not doing anything, yeah.
704
00:28:05.000 --> 00:28:06.369
Sounds like a bit of a hangover from when the
705
00:28:06.400 --> 00:28:08.230
baby was really little kind of thing, like that sort
706
00:28:08.269 --> 00:28:09.750
of routine of it all. I think so.
707
00:28:09.769 --> 00:28:11.809
Well, I think also we just get into the stage.
708
00:28:12.069 --> 00:28:13.650
We're kind of at a stage where we think it's
709
00:28:13.710 --> 00:28:15.009
about to all change, really.
710
00:28:15.490 --> 00:28:17.809
I'm glad we got in now. I wouldn't want to
711
00:28:17.829 --> 00:28:19.269
have interviewed you in two months.
712
00:28:19.769 --> 00:28:20.069
Yeah.
713
00:28:20.509 --> 00:28:23.410
We're right at this stage where we're weaning and trying
714
00:28:23.430 --> 00:28:28.289
to make that kind of work and dropping naps as well,
715
00:28:28.569 --> 00:28:30.930
trying to drop the afternoon nap. And it's kind of like,
716
00:28:31.279 --> 00:28:32.650
so it's a state of flux. But I think once
717
00:28:32.670 --> 00:28:35.579
we get through those, then we'll be home and dry.
718
00:28:35.599 --> 00:28:38.220
But the biggest step will be moving the mattress.
719
00:28:37.880 --> 00:28:40.799
Out of Joe's room. Where's the mattress going? I mean,
720
00:28:40.819 --> 00:28:42.059
that's one of the big questions.
721
00:28:42.079 --> 00:28:42.900
Where's the mattress going?
722
00:28:42.920 --> 00:28:43.799
Where do you put a mattress?
723
00:28:44.000 --> 00:28:45.160
Yeah, I think you're going to have to get that
724
00:28:45.299 --> 00:28:47.660
professionally removed or go down the dump. Then you've got
725
00:28:47.680 --> 00:28:50.670
to start, like, sellotaping it to your roof. It's the
726
00:28:50.690 --> 00:28:52.730
roof of your car, I meant, to take to the dump,
727
00:28:52.789 --> 00:28:53.529
not just your house.
728
00:28:53.690 --> 00:28:55.109
Yeah.
729
00:28:55.130 --> 00:28:57.099
Don't just leave it up there, like a booby trap.
730
00:28:57.119 --> 00:29:01.170
Like a solar panel. And how long... Because you said
731
00:29:01.190 --> 00:29:03.220
you're into the breastfeeding. Is it Emma Pickett, did you say?
732
00:29:03.240 --> 00:29:05.779
She's the guru. How long are you breastfeeding for? What's
733
00:29:05.799 --> 00:29:08.240
the plan? Because we struggle with breastfeeding, but for people
734
00:29:08.279 --> 00:29:11.019
that obviously like doing it and can do it, how
735
00:29:11.059 --> 00:29:12.700
long is the plan to breastfeed for?
736
00:29:12.769 --> 00:29:16.809
Well, until you both feel like you want to stop, really.
737
00:29:16.849 --> 00:29:20.069
Like I said, we're huge fans of breastfeeding, and Jane's
738
00:29:20.170 --> 00:29:23.410
done a lot of reading around it, and the connection
739
00:29:23.450 --> 00:29:26.559
they have because of it, and the time that they spend...
740
00:29:26.960 --> 00:29:31.420
together doing it, Jane really cherishes. And like, I understand that.
741
00:29:32.099 --> 00:29:33.700
Have you read as well that breast milk has like
742
00:29:33.759 --> 00:29:36.829
antiseptic qualities and stuff? So sometimes if I have like
743
00:29:36.849 --> 00:29:39.549
a rash or something, Jane puts her breast milk on
744
00:29:39.569 --> 00:29:39.890
my rash.
745
00:29:40.240 --> 00:29:42.160
And it cleans it up. Really?
746
00:29:42.380 --> 00:29:42.829
Really?
747
00:29:42.869 --> 00:29:43.009
Yeah.
748
00:29:43.369 --> 00:29:45.730
Have you tasted the milk as well? I bet you haven't.
749
00:29:45.769 --> 00:29:46.410
You've had a taste.
750
00:29:46.470 --> 00:29:48.230
A little bit, yeah. You've got to have a little
751
00:29:48.269 --> 00:29:48.710
bit of taste.
752
00:29:48.750 --> 00:29:51.609
How much, half a pint or a shot? Just a
753
00:29:51.670 --> 00:29:52.190
two-hour feed.
754
00:29:56.990 --> 00:29:59.049
What was it like, the breast milk? It's kind of
755
00:29:59.069 --> 00:30:02.930
like when you have a soy or almond. It's not great,
756
00:30:03.130 --> 00:30:03.650
but it'll do.
757
00:30:03.710 --> 00:30:08.980
Okay. It's got a funny kind of sweetness to it,
758
00:30:09.079 --> 00:30:11.119
but it's all right. It'd make a cup of tea
759
00:30:11.160 --> 00:30:13.619
go cloudy. Yeah, exactly. Exactly.
760
00:30:13.660 --> 00:30:15.460
You'd be getting all the bits floating on the top
761
00:30:15.480 --> 00:30:16.559
sort of thing.
762
00:30:17.099 --> 00:30:18.420
Best not to drop it on your ashes, isn't it?
763
00:30:18.420 --> 00:30:19.519
Yeah, there you go.
764
00:30:19.599 --> 00:30:23.009
Because some people breastfeed for years, like four or five years,
765
00:30:23.369 --> 00:30:26.470
but I don't know what the hardcore breastfeeders say. Or
766
00:30:26.490 --> 00:30:27.930
it is like you say, you just get to a
767
00:30:27.950 --> 00:30:29.289
point where neither of you want to do it anymore.
768
00:30:29.490 --> 00:30:30.809
You get to the point where it starts to feel
769
00:30:30.849 --> 00:30:33.210
natural for them to move on, and they kind of.
770
00:30:33.170 --> 00:30:35.769
Feel that way as well. And now, part of it
771
00:30:35.829 --> 00:30:36.210
is like.
772
00:30:36.970 --> 00:30:39.700
it's not necessity anymore but it's kind of like choice
773
00:30:39.859 --> 00:30:41.819
and it's kind of like and comfort yeah yeah and
774
00:30:41.859 --> 00:30:43.640
it's an enjoyable way for them to spend like they
775
00:30:43.660 --> 00:30:45.619
stick the telly on and do like 45 minutes or
776
00:30:45.660 --> 00:30:48.089
something in the afternoon but like what we're looking at
777
00:30:48.150 --> 00:30:51.990
is like because of breastfeeding Jane still hasn't started her
778
00:30:52.150 --> 00:30:55.519
menstrual cycle again right because it inhibits that yeah So
779
00:30:55.539 --> 00:30:58.039
in terms of like planning for, you know, say if
780
00:30:58.059 --> 00:31:00.819
we wanted more, which we kind of talk about, then
781
00:31:00.859 --> 00:31:01.599
at some point.
782
00:31:01.420 --> 00:31:03.759
We're going to have to look at dropping the best feeders.
783
00:31:03.839 --> 00:31:04.539
That's interesting.
784
00:31:04.559 --> 00:31:06.559
That's one of the main reasons, to be honest. Because
785
00:31:06.579 --> 00:31:08.750
at the moment, Jane is full-time mom.
786
00:31:09.190 --> 00:31:09.430
Yeah.
787
00:31:09.569 --> 00:31:12.089
Chloe's not going to go to preschool for another eight
788
00:31:12.130 --> 00:31:12.750
months or so.
789
00:31:12.789 --> 00:31:14.849
So there's no real need to stop.
790
00:31:15.210 --> 00:31:15.309
Yes.
791
00:31:15.369 --> 00:31:16.490
And the only reason is because.
792
00:31:17.049 --> 00:31:20.910
It's inhibited Jane having her periods back, which Jane loves. Like,
793
00:31:20.930 --> 00:31:23.700
she's like, it's amazing. She's on this huge menstrual holiday.
794
00:31:23.720 --> 00:31:25.839
She's kind of like living this dream.
795
00:31:26.180 --> 00:31:26.400
Yeah.
796
00:31:26.819 --> 00:31:29.839
That's your next film, isn't it? Menstrual holiday. Yeah.
797
00:31:31.430 --> 00:31:34.240
Yeah. I think the cut-off should be if the baby
798
00:31:34.279 --> 00:31:36.539
can undo the bra and then do it back up again.
799
00:31:37.200 --> 00:31:39.380
That kind of dexterity, I think you'd have to go.
800
00:31:39.420 --> 00:31:42.630
I reckon we've had enough. Flick on the clasp. Yeah, like,
801
00:31:42.650 --> 00:31:46.339
just flicked it off. Like a pick-up artist from the 90s.
802
00:31:46.529 --> 00:31:49.380
This is how you do it, lads. Ding! Ding! I mean,
803
00:31:49.400 --> 00:31:50.480
my daughter's very subtle.
804
00:31:51.069 --> 00:31:52.849
She's not very subtle, but she thinks she's very skillful
805
00:31:52.869 --> 00:31:54.670
at doing stuff like that. Like when we say like, oh,
806
00:31:54.690 --> 00:31:56.410
you can't have a feed until, because we're trying to
807
00:31:56.450 --> 00:31:59.190
kind of reduce. And then she like kind of goes, oh, mommy,
808
00:31:59.230 --> 00:32:01.349
can I just look at your boob, please?
809
00:32:01.890 --> 00:32:04.339
And like Jane will be like, no, because I know
810
00:32:04.359 --> 00:32:05.539
what you're going to do. And she's like, no, no,
811
00:32:05.559 --> 00:32:06.859
I only want to look. I only want to look.
812
00:32:06.900 --> 00:32:08.140
And then Jane will kind of.
813
00:32:08.119 --> 00:32:09.500
Get her boob out and then Glo will kind of
814
00:32:09.519 --> 00:32:11.960
like vault onto it and start the feed.
815
00:32:13.359 --> 00:32:15.630
That was your chat-up line originally, though, with Jane, wasn't it?
816
00:32:15.630 --> 00:32:16.809
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
817
00:32:16.849 --> 00:32:18.230
I managed to chip off the old lock.
818
00:32:18.410 --> 00:32:24.579
Yeah, I'm very proud.
819
00:32:24.619 --> 00:32:27.279
Josh mentioned Menstrual Holiday, your next film, because we should
820
00:32:27.299 --> 00:32:30.309
talk about your current film. It's coming out for Christmas. Yes.
821
00:32:30.789 --> 00:32:33.579
I'm so excited about this, Tom. I'm a huge Christmas
822
00:32:33.599 --> 00:32:34.099
film fan.
823
00:32:34.140 --> 00:32:36.880
I'm a fan of you. So this is big.
824
00:32:37.000 --> 00:32:39.660
I love a Christmas film. I've always kind of... They're
825
00:32:39.680 --> 00:32:41.619
the best type of films. So yeah, I've written a
826
00:32:41.640 --> 00:32:44.730
Christmas film called Your Christmas or Mine. And it's on
827
00:32:44.809 --> 00:32:47.069
Amazon Prime. It'll be on Prime Video on the 2nd
828
00:32:47.109 --> 00:32:47.650
of December.
829
00:32:47.990 --> 00:32:49.230
Oh, Your Christmas or Mine.
830
00:32:49.250 --> 00:32:52.410
What's the premise? I've asked you, but I know the premise.
831
00:32:52.450 --> 00:32:53.450
And it's a great premise.
832
00:32:53.569 --> 00:32:55.599
It's like these two students who have just fallen in love.
833
00:32:55.900 --> 00:32:58.500
And they're in a London train station about to say
834
00:32:58.660 --> 00:33:01.059
goodbye for Christmas. And then at the same time, just
835
00:33:01.079 --> 00:33:03.480
after they've said goodbye... They both think, do you know what?
836
00:33:03.500 --> 00:33:03.769
Fuck it.
837
00:33:03.779 --> 00:33:05.400
I'm going to go and spend Christmas with the person
838
00:33:05.420 --> 00:33:07.960
who I love. And they cross in the train station,
839
00:33:08.000 --> 00:33:10.160
get on each other's trains, and end up at each
840
00:33:10.200 --> 00:33:11.569
other's family homes for Christmas.
841
00:33:12.289 --> 00:33:13.910
Oh, that's a great idea.
842
00:33:13.930 --> 00:33:17.430
Yeah, there's like a huge snowfall, no transport, and they're
843
00:33:17.450 --> 00:33:19.130
trapped at each other's family Christmases.
844
00:33:19.150 --> 00:33:21.150
Because they turn up on the doorstep to surprise them.
845
00:33:21.250 --> 00:33:23.809
And they go, oh, yes, I'll buzz that. That is good.
846
00:33:23.970 --> 00:33:26.660
That is really great. And it's got Daniel Mays in it.
847
00:33:26.660 --> 00:33:27.259
Is that correct?
848
00:33:27.420 --> 00:33:29.500
It's got Daniel Mays in it.
849
00:33:29.539 --> 00:33:30.799
He's amazing. He's the best.
850
00:33:30.859 --> 00:33:33.180
What a bloke. Such a lovely guy.
851
00:33:33.339 --> 00:33:36.960
Asa Butterfield from Sex Education's in it. Harriet Walter's in it.
852
00:33:37.019 --> 00:33:39.799
David Bradley from the Harry Potter films. Alex Jennings from
853
00:33:39.819 --> 00:33:43.079
The Crown. Oh, and Ram John Holder, who was Pork
854
00:33:43.119 --> 00:33:44.420
Pie in Desmond's.
855
00:33:44.769 --> 00:33:45.660
Amazing.
856
00:33:48.309 --> 00:33:51.130
Pork Pie's in it. He plays the granddad. He's still alive.
857
00:33:51.410 --> 00:33:52.470
He's still alive, mate.
858
00:33:52.529 --> 00:33:55.029
He's amazing. A bit of a coarse bit of casting
859
00:33:55.049 --> 00:33:55.529
if he was dead.
860
00:33:56.619 --> 00:33:58.240
Merry Christmas, who's.
861
00:33:58.119 --> 00:33:58.720
That bloke in the corner?
862
00:33:58.740 --> 00:33:59.740
Who came to Port Pies?
863
00:33:59.960 --> 00:34:01.180
Amazing bloke, yeah.
864
00:34:01.220 --> 00:34:03.559
He's on set singing and dancing every day. He's an
865
00:34:03.619 --> 00:34:04.140
amazing guy.
866
00:34:04.440 --> 00:34:05.890
And who are the romantic leads?
867
00:34:05.930 --> 00:34:09.369
Yeah, so it's Asa Butterfield, who's from Sex Education, and
868
00:34:09.409 --> 00:34:11.710
then Cora Kirk, who's a newcomer. It's kind of like
869
00:34:11.750 --> 00:34:14.130
her first big role, so I think she's going to
870
00:34:14.170 --> 00:34:15.840
be kind of like the breakout star.
871
00:34:16.360 --> 00:34:19.440
Oh, brilliant. Oh, that's so good. Are you excited then?
872
00:34:20.199 --> 00:34:21.340
So excited, yeah.
873
00:34:21.500 --> 00:34:23.320
I mean, it's a weird feeling because we finished it
874
00:34:23.360 --> 00:34:25.199
just in time for last Christmas, weirdly, but, you know,
875
00:34:25.219 --> 00:34:25.760
they can't.
876
00:34:25.599 --> 00:34:25.980
Put it out.
877
00:34:26.239 --> 00:34:27.760
Oh, yeah, they have to just wait another year.
878
00:34:27.860 --> 00:34:30.010
Yeah, so I've just been sitting on it for a year, really.
879
00:34:30.369 --> 00:34:31.889
Was it one of those things, like, you know, when
880
00:34:31.909 --> 00:34:34.570
they're like, you'll see Noddy Holder interviews and he'll talk about, like,
881
00:34:34.630 --> 00:34:36.699
they did that Slade song and it was, like, boiling
882
00:34:36.739 --> 00:34:37.440
hot outside.
883
00:34:37.920 --> 00:34:38.079
Yeah.
884
00:34:38.380 --> 00:34:41.539
Whatever number that is, 31 or whatever. And was it
885
00:34:41.579 --> 00:34:42.820
like you were doing it in the middle of summer,
886
00:34:42.860 --> 00:34:44.099
but you were doing a Christmas film?
887
00:34:44.139 --> 00:34:47.340
Yeah, we filmed it in August. Obviously, like every exterior
888
00:34:47.400 --> 00:34:51.380
shot is a snowstorm. So there's this company called Snow Business,
889
00:34:51.840 --> 00:34:53.960
and it's their job year round to kind of make
890
00:34:53.980 --> 00:34:56.420
it snow on screen. So they rock up with like
891
00:34:56.460 --> 00:34:59.679
snow machines and white carpets and all that kind of
892
00:34:59.699 --> 00:35:01.739
gubbins and make it snow.
893
00:35:01.980 --> 00:35:02.579
Amazing.
894
00:35:02.599 --> 00:35:04.639
Amazing. So we were there in the middle of August.
895
00:35:04.940 --> 00:35:07.579
That must have been brilliant, wasn't it? Yeah. And there's like,
896
00:35:07.599 --> 00:35:09.449
you know, big cranes blocking out the sun.
897
00:35:09.710 --> 00:35:10.550
It was mental.
898
00:35:10.610 --> 00:35:13.389
It was absolutely mental. Are you Mr Burns? I know,
899
00:35:13.449 --> 00:35:14.329
I know, I know.
900
00:35:14.469 --> 00:35:16.360
It must be amazing being on set, knowing that you've
901
00:35:16.380 --> 00:35:17.780
written all this and seeing it all.
902
00:35:17.820 --> 00:35:18.000
Mad.
903
00:35:18.559 --> 00:35:22.039
Absolutely mad. Weirdly, on set, you're also the least useful
904
00:35:22.099 --> 00:35:24.440
member of the crew. Like a writer on set, you're
905
00:35:24.480 --> 00:35:27.070
just getting in the way. You're walking around being like, yeah,
906
00:35:27.190 --> 00:35:28.389
is there anything I can do? Do you want to
907
00:35:28.409 --> 00:35:29.789
change a line? And they're like, no, no, it's fine.
908
00:35:29.809 --> 00:35:31.250
We're doing it now. And you're like, okay, and just
909
00:35:31.269 --> 00:35:34.949
kind of go and sit by catering. Yeah, it's an
910
00:35:35.010 --> 00:35:38.989
amazing feeling. Amazing feeling. Catched up on some sleep on set? Yeah.
911
00:35:39.320 --> 00:35:39.940
Oh, God, yeah.
912
00:35:39.960 --> 00:35:43.820
I had such a lovely time. We're doing night shoots
913
00:35:43.880 --> 00:35:45.880
and things like that. And everyone was like, God, I'm knackered.
914
00:35:45.900 --> 00:35:47.559
And I was like, I have not slept this well
915
00:35:47.599 --> 00:35:49.900
in ages.
916
00:35:50.420 --> 00:35:53.860
How long were you away for doing it?
917
00:35:53.929 --> 00:35:55.150
How did that work with parenting?
918
00:35:55.449 --> 00:35:57.510
It was a six week shoot, but the weekends were
919
00:35:57.550 --> 00:35:59.469
off pretty much. So I was back at weekends.
920
00:35:59.510 --> 00:36:00.590
So it wasn't too bad.
921
00:36:00.909 --> 00:36:03.590
The only bad one was when there was a night shoot,
922
00:36:03.690 --> 00:36:06.630
I think, and we filmed from seven in the evening
923
00:36:06.849 --> 00:36:08.250
till five in the morning.
924
00:36:08.329 --> 00:36:10.050
And then I got in the car and drove home.
925
00:36:10.250 --> 00:36:13.440
Three hours back to Exeter and that was like that
926
00:36:13.460 --> 00:36:14.260
was bad.
927
00:36:14.179 --> 00:36:16.099
Couple of satsumas and a coffee though to get you
928
00:36:16.119 --> 00:36:18.619
through the night yeah yeah yeah for old times sake
929
00:36:18.760 --> 00:36:20.550
yeah and then you get back and then like.
930
00:36:20.449 --> 00:36:22.570
Obviously Glo was just waking up and ready to go
931
00:36:22.610 --> 00:36:25.239
and then off you go oh my god oh man What.
932
00:36:25.179 --> 00:36:28.300
Are you filming from midnight till 5am? Because it was
933
00:36:28.400 --> 00:36:30.019
August and we needed to shoot.
934
00:36:30.079 --> 00:36:32.409
Like when you're doing any kind of night scenes or any,
935
00:36:32.800 --> 00:36:34.989
it has to look like the winter. So you're doing
936
00:36:35.030 --> 00:36:37.210
most of the day. Most of it was like night shoots.
937
00:36:37.510 --> 00:36:38.269
Oh my God.
938
00:36:38.530 --> 00:36:40.389
And what's your Christmas plans this year? Are you going
939
00:36:40.409 --> 00:36:42.230
to sit down and watch it as a family or
940
00:36:42.250 --> 00:36:43.679
what do you normally do at Christmas as well?
941
00:36:43.840 --> 00:36:46.599
This is the first Christmas. Because of all the COVID
942
00:36:46.639 --> 00:36:47.360
and stuff, we're going to.
943
00:36:47.340 --> 00:36:52.309
Take Gloria back to Wolverhampton for Christmas at her grandparents'.
944
00:36:52.659 --> 00:36:54.159
So my mum's Welsh, right?
945
00:36:54.199 --> 00:36:56.059
So she's nine. My dad's English.
946
00:36:56.280 --> 00:36:56.820
She's nine?
947
00:36:57.039 --> 00:36:57.440
Nine.
948
00:36:58.019 --> 00:37:01.340
Yeah, that's Welsh for grandma. Right, OK. All right.
949
00:37:01.719 --> 00:37:03.639
In Wales, you have a nine and a tide. You
950
00:37:03.659 --> 00:37:04.989
don't have a granddad and a grandma.
951
00:37:05.110 --> 00:37:07.329
Right, I thought she was just starting early. She's nine.
952
00:37:07.530 --> 00:37:11.639
Blimey. LAUGHTER From the valleys.
953
00:37:11.659 --> 00:37:18.409
She's Welsh, so she's nine. Oh, and then tied to granddad, yeah. Yeah,
954
00:37:18.429 --> 00:37:18.710
that's right.
955
00:37:18.730 --> 00:37:20.610
But dad's English, so he's not. He's gramps. So we've
956
00:37:20.630 --> 00:37:21.489
got gramps and nine.
957
00:37:21.789 --> 00:37:26.730
Gramps and nine sounds like a rapper. Yeah.
958
00:37:27.130 --> 00:37:30.889
And then Jane's mom, Thelma, spent about 10 years working
959
00:37:30.969 --> 00:37:31.840
out in Spain.
960
00:37:31.929 --> 00:37:33.760
So she's kind of got an affinity to Spain.
961
00:37:34.159 --> 00:37:36.179
So when she found out that my mom was nine,
962
00:37:36.460 --> 00:37:38.320
she didn't want to just be like a nan.
963
00:37:38.340 --> 00:37:39.079
Sorry, I can't.
964
00:37:39.199 --> 00:37:40.699
It does sound like your mom's nine.
965
00:37:40.860 --> 00:37:42.039
Sorry. Right.
966
00:37:42.400 --> 00:37:45.670
Sorry, carry on, carry on. So Thelma decided she wanted
967
00:37:45.710 --> 00:37:46.929
to be Abuela.
968
00:37:47.659 --> 00:37:48.260
Abuela?
969
00:37:48.360 --> 00:37:52.260
Yeah. So Gloria's got a, she's got a nine and
970
00:37:52.300 --> 00:37:53.239
she's got an Abuela.
971
00:37:53.500 --> 00:37:54.039
Abuela?
972
00:37:54.199 --> 00:37:55.980
Yeah. And where are you spending Christmas?
973
00:37:56.079 --> 00:37:58.179
So we're spending Christmas at Nine and Gramps' house, but
974
00:37:58.199 --> 00:37:59.250
we're taking Abuela with us.
975
00:38:02.530 --> 00:38:04.190
Abuela's coming with okay yeah.
976
00:38:04.730 --> 00:38:07.670
Abuela's coming with and there's abuela hung out with nine
977
00:38:07.710 --> 00:38:10.510
and grams before yeah that's all fine that's all fine
978
00:38:10.630 --> 00:38:11.110
i would.
979
00:38:10.949 --> 00:38:13.250
Say though it's quite bold to just demand what you're
980
00:38:13.269 --> 00:38:16.170
going to be called and it's spanish just because your
981
00:38:16.190 --> 00:38:19.570
equivalent has got an interesting name because it's welsh let's.
982
00:38:19.429 --> 00:38:21.869
Be honest it's an interesting choice let's just say that.
983
00:38:27.900 --> 00:38:30.739
And abuela's a very difficult word to say, so Glo
984
00:38:30.780 --> 00:38:31.539
says bar.
985
00:38:32.179 --> 00:38:34.119
She's just clung on to the end of it, so
986
00:38:34.179 --> 00:38:36.159
instead of abuela, it's just bar.
987
00:38:36.500 --> 00:38:38.469
And she's too young to explain to her as well,
988
00:38:38.510 --> 00:38:38.909
isn't she?
989
00:38:39.070 --> 00:38:39.449
Yeah.
990
00:38:39.469 --> 00:38:41.269
I mean, it's hard to explain it to people who
991
00:38:41.369 --> 00:38:42.969
aren't young, do you know what I mean?
992
00:38:42.989 --> 00:38:46.179
LAUGHTER Well, she once worked in Spain for a bit.
993
00:38:46.659 --> 00:38:49.079
OK. Is she Spanish?
994
00:38:49.179 --> 00:38:49.420
Nah.
995
00:38:49.699 --> 00:38:50.320
No, perhaps not.
996
00:38:50.400 --> 00:38:52.280
No, no, no, no, no, no. Of course not.
997
00:38:52.579 --> 00:38:56.139
My father-in-law, Lou's elder sister, used to call their grandad
998
00:38:56.340 --> 00:38:58.639
Amps because they couldn't say Gramps or Grandad.
999
00:38:58.679 --> 00:38:59.239
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1000
00:38:59.260 --> 00:39:01.980
So then now the grandkids call their dad Amps.
1001
00:39:02.039 --> 00:39:02.500
There you go.
1002
00:39:02.500 --> 00:39:04.360
And then I always say Nanny and Grandad and they're
1003
00:39:04.380 --> 00:39:05.800
sort of all confused. And I was like, Lou, I'm
1004
00:39:05.820 --> 00:39:06.800
not calling him Amps.
1005
00:39:07.480 --> 00:39:09.280
You've got to call him Amps, dude. You've got to
1006
00:39:09.340 --> 00:39:10.039
get on board.
1007
00:39:10.179 --> 00:39:11.840
That's fine if the kids do it, but I'm not
1008
00:39:11.860 --> 00:39:16.409
saying that. I'll say Mick. I'll say Mick. I'm not,
1009
00:39:16.489 --> 00:39:19.150
as a grown man, to another grown man saying, amps,
1010
00:39:19.550 --> 00:39:25.250
would you like a cup of tea? Bar, yeah.
1011
00:39:25.510 --> 00:39:26.369
I call her Bar now.
1012
00:39:26.429 --> 00:39:27.030
Hello, Bar.
1013
00:39:27.250 --> 00:39:28.010
Not even her name?
1014
00:39:28.150 --> 00:39:28.789
Come on, Bar.
1015
00:39:29.150 --> 00:39:29.349
Yeah.
1016
00:39:29.909 --> 00:39:31.030
Bar's coming round now.
1017
00:39:31.340 --> 00:39:33.679
Bar sounds more Welsh for a nan than nine.
1018
00:39:33.900 --> 00:39:34.079
Yeah.
1019
00:39:36.199 --> 00:39:36.960
It does, yeah.
1020
00:39:37.260 --> 00:39:39.539
So which one's Spanish? Neither. Don't worry. Don't get bogged
1021
00:39:39.559 --> 00:39:40.000
down by that.
1022
00:39:40.320 --> 00:39:41.420
One's Welsh. No one's Spanish.
1023
00:39:41.539 --> 00:39:42.400
Bar, not bar.
1024
00:39:42.900 --> 00:39:43.139
Nine.
1025
00:39:43.360 --> 00:39:46.599
Nine? But she's German. Nine? No?
1026
00:39:49.440 --> 00:39:52.110
It's like a Michael McIntyre routine.
1027
00:39:53.230 --> 00:39:55.989
So you're all going up there to whoever lives there
1028
00:39:56.190 --> 00:39:57.670
in Woolbrands and whatever they're called.
1029
00:39:57.690 --> 00:39:59.760
Yeah, we're going to Nine and Gramps' house for Christmas, yeah.
1030
00:39:59.840 --> 00:40:00.980
Does Gramps want to rebrand?
1031
00:40:01.219 --> 00:40:04.139
No, Gramps is out there. Quiet, easy life.
1032
00:40:04.420 --> 00:40:04.960
No problems.
1033
00:40:08.730 --> 00:40:09.769
How many kids are going to be there?
1034
00:40:09.829 --> 00:40:11.309
Is it going to be loads and.
1035
00:40:11.250 --> 00:40:11.769
Loads of kids?
1036
00:40:12.210 --> 00:40:16.329
Glo's got nine cousins, I think. That's confusing.
1037
00:40:16.449 --> 00:40:18.650
Yeah, it's big. That's a confusing number to throw into
1038
00:40:18.710 --> 00:40:23.170
the name mix, isn't it? Okay, let's have you nine
1039
00:40:23.210 --> 00:40:24.989
over here for the photo. No, not you nine.
1040
00:40:31.690 --> 00:40:33.570
Yeah, so like nine cousins.
1041
00:40:34.550 --> 00:40:36.110
So, you know, it's going to be good for them.
1042
00:40:36.349 --> 00:40:36.769
Off they go.
1043
00:40:36.789 --> 00:40:37.760
Oh, wow.
1044
00:40:38.030 --> 00:40:41.059
Are they all going to be calling Abuela, Abuela? No,
1045
00:40:41.139 --> 00:40:42.639
they know his style, mate. I think it'd be weird
1046
00:40:42.659 --> 00:40:45.139
if they hopped on the bar train. It's already a
1047
00:40:45.159 --> 00:40:46.050
weird train to be on.
1048
00:40:47.659 --> 00:40:49.599
Just standing Ramon on the bar train.
1049
00:40:49.619 --> 00:40:52.809
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's just us. That's just for us.
1050
00:40:54.239 --> 00:40:56.820
How big is your nine and grandad's house? Is it
1051
00:40:56.840 --> 00:40:58.199
a big house then? Are you going to get everyone in?
1052
00:40:58.219 --> 00:40:59.929
Are you staying over or are you driving back?
1053
00:41:00.139 --> 00:41:02.289
We're staying over. All my other brothers and sisters live
1054
00:41:02.309 --> 00:41:04.070
within about five minutes of my mum and dad's house.
1055
00:41:04.110 --> 00:41:05.530
Right, okay. So that's fine.
1056
00:41:06.010 --> 00:41:08.050
You know, like, I didn't really realise, as soon as
1057
00:41:08.190 --> 00:41:08.670
I got older.
1058
00:41:08.690 --> 00:41:10.369
If I left and was like, this is what you do,
1059
00:41:10.409 --> 00:41:12.190
you know, you leave home, you go and live somewhere else.
1060
00:41:12.690 --> 00:41:15.389
But all my other brothers and sisters live five minutes away.
1061
00:41:15.570 --> 00:41:16.630
So it's just me down in Devon.
1062
00:41:17.219 --> 00:41:18.579
You traitor. I know.
1063
00:41:18.920 --> 00:41:20.909
Well, that's the problem, isn't it? When everyone goes home,
1064
00:41:20.949 --> 00:41:23.170
a lot of people move away, like you have, and
1065
00:41:23.190 --> 00:41:25.349
they go home and they've got two children or three
1066
00:41:25.369 --> 00:41:27.989
children or a child with them, and they're in their
1067
00:41:28.050 --> 00:41:31.969
childhood bedroom that is only really suitable for a 15-year-old
1068
00:41:32.010 --> 00:41:34.849
in 1997. And all of a sudden, there's a family
1069
00:41:34.869 --> 00:41:37.750
in there. Under a post of Carmen Electra. LAUGHTER Yeah,
1070
00:41:37.829 --> 00:41:40.820
Carmen Electra's looking down, looking at you going, I know
1071
00:41:40.840 --> 00:41:44.079
what you used to do in here, big boy. And
1072
00:41:45.059 --> 00:41:47.780
then it's hard for the other person who's not their
1073
00:41:47.840 --> 00:41:50.159
family because their Christmas now is in sort of a
1074
00:41:50.360 --> 00:41:53.480
strange person's house, essentially. Just sleeping on a weird bed
1075
00:41:54.199 --> 00:41:55.460
that was your childhood bed.
1076
00:41:55.599 --> 00:41:58.340
Yeah, exactly. It'll be chaos, but that's what it's all about.
1077
00:41:58.360 --> 00:42:00.699
That's what it's all about. And then, I mean, I
1078
00:42:00.739 --> 00:42:03.510
don't know what we're going to get her for Christmas.
1079
00:42:04.070 --> 00:42:04.650
Yeah.
1080
00:42:04.829 --> 00:42:07.130
It's the first Christmas where she knows it's Christmas.
1081
00:42:07.150 --> 00:42:08.460
She's already started talking about it.
1082
00:42:08.889 --> 00:42:11.989
You don't need to get her that much because loads
1083
00:42:12.090 --> 00:42:13.739
of people will buy her loads of stuff and you'll
1084
00:42:13.780 --> 00:42:15.659
end up with loads of stuff. And she doesn't know
1085
00:42:15.679 --> 00:42:17.199
that lots of things are bought for Christmas.
1086
00:42:17.219 --> 00:42:18.619
This is the advice I needed to hear.
1087
00:42:18.880 --> 00:42:22.190
Obviously, Father Christmas will probably bring... In our house, Father
1088
00:42:22.230 --> 00:42:24.429
Christmas brings the girls... A present.
1089
00:42:24.650 --> 00:42:24.869
Yeah.
1090
00:42:25.130 --> 00:42:27.809
And then their friends and family and then the parents
1091
00:42:27.869 --> 00:42:29.469
buy some as well. But we get one present from
1092
00:42:29.510 --> 00:42:30.489
Father Christmas in our house.
1093
00:42:30.630 --> 00:42:32.670
And a stocking. Okay, here's a problem I've got coming
1094
00:42:32.690 --> 00:42:33.949
down the pipeline. Oh, yeah.
1095
00:42:34.289 --> 00:42:35.809
Oh, what's that? You can't get an erection?
1096
00:42:36.789 --> 00:42:41.070
That half an hour every evening. We've had a chat
1097
00:42:41.349 --> 00:42:42.269
in the last two weeks.
1098
00:42:42.730 --> 00:42:43.010
Go on.
1099
00:42:43.409 --> 00:42:46.210
Should we be putting out a warning about this if
1100
00:42:46.250 --> 00:42:47.469
this is about Father Christmas?
1101
00:42:47.710 --> 00:42:49.880
Oh, yes, we should, yes. Okay. We should put out
1102
00:42:49.889 --> 00:42:50.530
a warning about it.
1103
00:42:50.530 --> 00:42:51.239
Okay.
1104
00:42:51.559 --> 00:42:54.780
If you're listening with children... We're about to discuss Father Christmas.
1105
00:42:55.280 --> 00:42:55.440
Yeah.
1106
00:42:55.920 --> 00:42:59.820
And that's enough warning. My wife decided she doesn't want to...
1107
00:42:59.619 --> 00:43:01.400
I love it if you went, she reckons he's not real.
1108
00:43:01.420 --> 00:43:08.150
She doesn't want to go with the lie.
1109
00:43:08.170 --> 00:43:09.929
She doesn't want to... Oh, really?
1110
00:43:09.969 --> 00:43:10.269
Yeah.
1111
00:43:10.409 --> 00:43:13.110
Okay, interesting. Because I feel weird about it.
1112
00:43:13.190 --> 00:43:15.949
Go on. Do you? Yeah. Yeah, she doesn't want to
1113
00:43:15.969 --> 00:43:16.610
go with the lie.
1114
00:43:16.670 --> 00:43:19.230
And actually, when you come to defend the lie, you
1115
00:43:19.250 --> 00:43:21.690
start to realise that it's fucking weird and you're taking
1116
00:43:21.730 --> 00:43:22.570
a really weird stance.
1117
00:43:22.880 --> 00:43:25.079
Yeah, because my youngest is scared of the thought of
1118
00:43:25.119 --> 00:43:25.840
a man coming.
1119
00:43:25.639 --> 00:43:27.519
In her house. Yeah, here you go. Why wouldn't she be?
1120
00:43:27.639 --> 00:43:30.460
Yeah, exactly. So talk us through your... When you start
1121
00:43:30.500 --> 00:43:31.360
saying there's this.
1122
00:43:31.380 --> 00:43:32.599
Well, we're not religious.
1123
00:43:32.840 --> 00:43:35.219
We don't want to say, oh, if you do good things,
1124
00:43:35.260 --> 00:43:37.099
then Jesus will be pleased with you.
1125
00:43:37.539 --> 00:43:39.050
That's not the way to do it. Yeah.
1126
00:43:39.219 --> 00:43:41.329
And then you realise when you get into Father Christmas territory,
1127
00:43:41.449 --> 00:43:45.010
it is the same thing. And Jane wants Glo to
1128
00:43:45.050 --> 00:43:46.349
believe everything that we tell.
1129
00:43:46.210 --> 00:43:47.650
Her because what we're telling.
1130
00:43:47.469 --> 00:43:49.409
Her are the truthful things and you can trust us
1131
00:43:49.449 --> 00:43:51.949
and what we tell you is real and... We're her
1132
00:43:52.030 --> 00:43:54.230
guide to what is and what isn't in life.
1133
00:43:54.650 --> 00:43:56.860
And then you go, apart from this one thing where
1134
00:43:56.880 --> 00:43:59.199
we're going to make up this thing. Yeah. And it's
1135
00:43:59.239 --> 00:44:00.980
not real, but we're going to tell you it's real.
1136
00:44:01.019 --> 00:44:02.539
We're going to go out of our way to show
1137
00:44:02.579 --> 00:44:05.059
you that it's real. Yeah. And I ended up going, no,
1138
00:44:05.059 --> 00:44:07.019
we've got to do that. And Jane's like, why? Why
1139
00:44:07.039 --> 00:44:08.960
are you going to do this one weird lie to
1140
00:44:09.019 --> 00:44:09.739
our daughter?
1141
00:44:09.760 --> 00:44:10.760
It is fun, though.
1142
00:44:10.780 --> 00:44:12.920
I can't really find an answer. It's fun.
1143
00:44:13.079 --> 00:44:13.719
It's fun.
1144
00:44:13.820 --> 00:44:16.320
When they see that my mince pie is gone, they go,
1145
00:44:16.519 --> 00:44:17.519
fucking batshit.
1146
00:44:18.099 --> 00:44:22.030
Yeah, I just think I've never met anyone that's really
1147
00:44:22.110 --> 00:44:24.500
troubled as an adult because of that life. No.
1148
00:44:24.510 --> 00:44:26.929
You know what I mean?
1149
00:44:27.090 --> 00:44:29.590
It's fun, and I've never met anyone going, I've been
1150
00:44:29.630 --> 00:44:31.429
in counselling for years just because they lied about it.
1151
00:44:31.429 --> 00:44:33.769
It's a fun, you know what I mean?
1152
00:44:33.789 --> 00:44:37.260
When he found out he killed seven people. LAUGHTER We've
1153
00:44:37.440 --> 00:44:38.719
all seen the Netflix documentary.
1154
00:44:38.960 --> 00:44:40.159
Yeah, you're right.
1155
00:44:42.460 --> 00:44:45.440
But I don't remember finding out that it wasn't true.
1156
00:44:45.920 --> 00:44:48.300
I think you sort of clock it as a kid,
1157
00:44:48.449 --> 00:44:50.070
but you don't really want to say it because you
1158
00:44:50.090 --> 00:44:51.849
want to believe. I think that's what happens.
1159
00:44:51.949 --> 00:44:52.750
And you want the presents.
1160
00:44:52.929 --> 00:44:53.809
Yes.
1161
00:44:53.949 --> 00:44:55.570
Crucially, you still want the presents to come.
1162
00:44:55.610 --> 00:44:56.349
So you keep shtum.
1163
00:44:56.769 --> 00:44:57.030
Yes.
1164
00:44:57.289 --> 00:44:59.730
So I sort of get it. So I've thought about this,
1165
00:44:59.949 --> 00:45:01.889
but I think it is so much fun and they
1166
00:45:01.949 --> 00:45:05.650
love it. And it's exciting. And the world is quite
1167
00:45:05.690 --> 00:45:08.429
depressing and hard work. Let's not let them know about
1168
00:45:08.469 --> 00:45:09.250
that early doors.
1169
00:45:09.969 --> 00:45:13.869
I mean, well, here's one other argument. Yeah.
1170
00:45:14.530 --> 00:45:17.369
If she knows, at the age of four, when she's
1171
00:45:17.389 --> 00:45:18.909
at school, she's going to be put in a very
1172
00:45:19.010 --> 00:45:19.800
awkward situation.
1173
00:45:19.820 --> 00:45:21.659
Yeah, when she knows and no one else does at school.
1174
00:45:21.679 --> 00:45:23.960
Does she keep that to herself, or does she tell
1175
00:45:24.000 --> 00:45:24.760
everyone at school?
1176
00:45:24.800 --> 00:45:26.619
Well, what I think we could be imbuing her with
1177
00:45:26.659 --> 00:45:29.260
there is a sense of intellectual superiority.
1178
00:45:29.539 --> 00:45:32.059
Yeah, sure. I quite like that idea.
1179
00:45:32.179 --> 00:45:35.300
Yeah, because that won't damage him, will it? Just instilling
1180
00:45:35.360 --> 00:45:39.480
a superiority over everyone at an early age.
1181
00:45:40.280 --> 00:45:42.440
She's sat there at nursery thinking, Susan, you're my best friend,
1182
00:45:42.480 --> 00:45:43.840
but you're a fucking idiot, actually.
1183
00:45:43.909 --> 00:45:49.489
LAUGHTER Yeah. Who's calling a baby Susan these days, Tom?
1184
00:45:49.510 --> 00:45:50.550
Come on.
1185
00:45:50.570 --> 00:45:52.780
Look, Susan, you need to know the truth, OK? You're
1186
00:45:52.909 --> 00:45:56.519
a pathetic little baby believing a lie, right? We're 15 now.
1187
00:45:56.699 --> 00:45:58.019
I'm going home for a bit of breast milk. I'll
1188
00:45:58.039 --> 00:46:03.539
be back to do my GCSEs. I do get it, though, but, yeah,
1189
00:46:03.619 --> 00:46:04.980
it is a balance, isn't it? So what side are
1190
00:46:05.000 --> 00:46:06.099
you on of this, Tom?
1191
00:46:06.460 --> 00:46:09.110
I'm team Father Christmas. It feels mad to me.
1192
00:46:09.530 --> 00:46:11.190
If I'm going to try and get into an industry
1193
00:46:11.210 --> 00:46:13.070
where I'm cranking out a Christmas film every year.
1194
00:46:13.329 --> 00:46:14.210
Being the truth guy. Yeah.
1195
00:46:15.170 --> 00:46:19.739
I can't kill off Father Christmas. Yeah. She'll say, look,
1196
00:46:19.760 --> 00:46:21.559
that's going to pay our mortgage for the next five years.
1197
00:46:21.579 --> 00:46:22.739
You've got to keep Santa alive.
1198
00:46:22.760 --> 00:46:25.400
Yeah, because if people stop watching Christmas films... It's closing
1199
00:46:25.440 --> 00:46:28.739
off my ideas. But that could be your Christmas film, Tom.
1200
00:46:28.780 --> 00:46:30.550
It's about the man that writes Christmas films but has
1201
00:46:30.590 --> 00:46:31.849
no love for Christmas in.
1202
00:46:31.829 --> 00:46:32.510
His own house.
1203
00:46:32.590 --> 00:46:32.909
Yeah.
1204
00:46:32.929 --> 00:46:37.639
You're like something from a fairy tale. I'm concerned about this.
1205
00:46:37.760 --> 00:46:40.570
I don't think I'm going to win the argument, basically.
1206
00:46:40.860 --> 00:46:41.610
Right, OK.
1207
00:46:41.650 --> 00:46:44.070
And I think once it happens, very early on.
1208
00:46:44.130 --> 00:46:46.010
Well, once you've lost the argument, it's very difficult to
1209
00:46:46.030 --> 00:46:47.550
put the genie back in the bottle, isn't it?
1210
00:46:47.630 --> 00:46:47.969
Yes.
1211
00:46:48.309 --> 00:46:51.110
You've got to go, he is real, actually. Bye, goodnight.
1212
00:46:52.090 --> 00:46:53.769
Well, you've got to be careful, though, because you can't...
1213
00:46:53.869 --> 00:46:56.360
If you tell her too young, she won't be able
1214
00:46:56.460 --> 00:46:58.519
to understand that she needs to keep it secret because
1215
00:46:58.539 --> 00:46:59.820
she'll spoil it for other children.
1216
00:46:59.940 --> 00:47:01.519
Yeah, exactly. She'll go in.
1217
00:47:01.960 --> 00:47:04.539
This Christmas, to all her cousins, all gone blazing.
1218
00:47:04.940 --> 00:47:07.099
I get a feeling, though, when she grows up, she'll
1219
00:47:07.119 --> 00:47:08.980
just be that kid that goes, well, my parents told
1220
00:47:09.019 --> 00:47:10.800
me at the age of two, so I never knew.
1221
00:47:11.119 --> 00:47:12.659
And then she might get annoyed she missed out.
1222
00:47:13.820 --> 00:47:15.989
Oh, God, that's a tough one. It's hard, isn't it?
1223
00:47:16.219 --> 00:47:19.329
It's really tricky. Do your kids still believe, Rob?
1224
00:47:19.849 --> 00:47:22.889
Yeah, but, like, I don't really hammer it home. I
1225
00:47:23.010 --> 00:47:25.429
was introduced young, and we go and visit Father Christmas
1226
00:47:25.489 --> 00:47:27.590
at things, and then it's sort of like, shall we
1227
00:47:27.610 --> 00:47:29.409
see if he's been, but it's not like a... I
1228
00:47:29.429 --> 00:47:32.130
don't really mention that he's real. I just don't really mention...
1229
00:47:31.929 --> 00:47:32.409
That he's not.
1230
00:47:32.679 --> 00:47:33.940
Yeah. Did you put the mince pies out?
1231
00:47:34.179 --> 00:47:35.900
Yeah, we put the mince pies out. So obviously around
1232
00:47:35.920 --> 00:47:39.260
Christmas we do, but it's not like... And I really
1233
00:47:39.300 --> 00:47:41.260
don't agree with, and I never do, is you only
1234
00:47:41.280 --> 00:47:42.199
get Prince if you're good.
1235
00:47:42.599 --> 00:47:43.559
Oh, yeah, I don't like that.
1236
00:47:43.860 --> 00:47:46.239
I totally don't do that at all. No. That's not
1237
00:47:46.280 --> 00:47:48.119
even a part of it. We just sort of say,
1238
00:47:48.239 --> 00:47:50.730
you know, like sometimes Father Christmas would bring a present
1239
00:47:51.269 --> 00:47:53.449
at Christmas. How do you get them to do what
1240
00:47:53.469 --> 00:47:56.130
you ask, though? Because....
1241
00:47:56.489 --> 00:47:58.590
That's the stage I'm at now.
1242
00:47:58.849 --> 00:48:01.230
Asking for a friend. I mean, I'll be honest with you.
1243
00:48:01.269 --> 00:48:04.409
Maybe when I'm under pressure, I might go, Christmas is
1244
00:48:04.449 --> 00:48:06.630
coming up soon and I've not hammered it home.
1245
00:48:06.670 --> 00:48:07.389
Yeah, there you go.
1246
00:48:07.429 --> 00:48:09.420
I've just said that and it's up to them to
1247
00:48:09.639 --> 00:48:12.340
read into that however much they want.
1248
00:48:12.739 --> 00:48:13.460
Okay? Yeah.
1249
00:48:14.019 --> 00:48:14.440
That's on them.
1250
00:48:14.460 --> 00:48:16.699
Because Gloria is really like, that's the age she's at
1251
00:48:16.739 --> 00:48:18.840
now where she's really learned to say no.
1252
00:48:19.039 --> 00:48:19.460
Yeah.
1253
00:48:19.500 --> 00:48:23.320
Oh, God. We haven't quite got our discipline yet. ducks
1254
00:48:23.380 --> 00:48:24.019
in a row yet.
1255
00:48:24.110 --> 00:48:26.150
Oh yeah, the disciplined ducks are tough to get.
1256
00:48:26.250 --> 00:48:28.389
Oh, the disciplined ducks. Yeah, she believes in the disciplined ducks.
1257
00:48:28.710 --> 00:48:29.630
That's her.
1258
00:48:31.369 --> 00:48:33.030
If you don't come to the table, the disciplined ducks
1259
00:48:33.190 --> 00:48:35.190
are going to come and peck you.
1260
00:48:35.909 --> 00:48:37.489
Fucking hates feeding the birds.
1261
00:48:37.769 --> 00:48:39.650
Running away from ponds.
1262
00:48:41.469 --> 00:48:44.769
But like, I haven't got that yet.
1263
00:48:44.789 --> 00:48:46.739
I haven't got, I don't know what to do. And
1264
00:48:46.780 --> 00:48:49.179
she's really good now at saying no. Like she eyeballed
1265
00:48:49.199 --> 00:48:50.960
me the other day. I said, don't throw your food.
1266
00:48:51.019 --> 00:48:51.980
And she eyeballed me.
1267
00:48:52.570 --> 00:48:55.969
And threw food and just kept on looking at me
1268
00:48:55.989 --> 00:48:56.719
the whole time.
1269
00:48:56.860 --> 00:48:58.789
That is a tough age. That's the twos, isn't it?
1270
00:48:58.860 --> 00:49:00.900
And you said, can I hear quacking in the distance?
1271
00:49:00.940 --> 00:49:01.539
Here they come.
1272
00:49:01.679 --> 00:49:02.860
Quack, quack, quack, quack.
1273
00:49:02.960 --> 00:49:06.780
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Flapping at her, pecking her.
1274
00:49:07.460 --> 00:49:09.260
Here's what we had in our house for the last...
1275
00:49:09.340 --> 00:49:11.469
It's just come to an end, luckily. But about four
1276
00:49:11.510 --> 00:49:13.369
months ago, we were really happy. Everyone was having a
1277
00:49:13.369 --> 00:49:13.849
nice time.
1278
00:49:13.849 --> 00:49:16.449
We went for lunch with another family who were about
1279
00:49:16.449 --> 00:49:17.469
a street away from us.
1280
00:49:17.469 --> 00:49:19.480
And they had a they had filter water.
1281
00:49:19.239 --> 00:49:21.260
Right and my wife said why have you got filter
1282
00:49:21.280 --> 00:49:23.159
water and they said oh there's a lot of lead
1283
00:49:23.199 --> 00:49:25.800
pipes in this area didn't you know we were like
1284
00:49:26.389 --> 00:49:28.909
no we don't know so we went back to our
1285
00:49:28.949 --> 00:49:32.610
house and jane ordered a lead test and we had
1286
00:49:32.670 --> 00:49:36.030
lead pipes in our street bringing the water to our
1287
00:49:36.070 --> 00:49:38.719
house and And in our house, we had lead pipes
1288
00:49:38.739 --> 00:49:40.550
that our survey had missed, right?
1289
00:49:40.800 --> 00:49:41.329
Oh, right.
1290
00:49:41.750 --> 00:49:44.369
So we had like a big freakout. Jane, in particular, was.
1291
00:49:44.329 --> 00:49:46.510
Very upset because she was like, we've been damaging our child.
1292
00:49:46.570 --> 00:49:48.550
And I kind of, you know, I think like in
1293
00:49:48.590 --> 00:49:51.309
any relationship, there's like, I tend to downplay things and go,
1294
00:49:51.429 --> 00:49:53.949
it'll be okay, even though I don't really know it'll
1295
00:49:54.000 --> 00:49:54.480
be okay.
1296
00:49:54.539 --> 00:49:55.980
I find myself going, it'll be fine.
1297
00:49:56.179 --> 00:49:57.800
Yeah. Well, it's done now anyway.
1298
00:49:57.820 --> 00:49:58.239
Exactly.
1299
00:49:58.260 --> 00:50:00.159
It's not like you're going, no, shut up and drink
1300
00:50:00.199 --> 00:50:01.219
the water. It's fine.
1301
00:50:01.239 --> 00:50:01.780
Yeah.
1302
00:50:01.800 --> 00:50:04.019
Yeah. We'll get filtered from now on. So we went
1303
00:50:04.059 --> 00:50:05.360
on bottled water until we sorted it out.
1304
00:50:05.380 --> 00:50:07.800
I know we've had all the pipes fitted, but fucking hell, honestly,
1305
00:50:07.840 --> 00:50:09.989
like looking into it, there's still so much lead pipes
1306
00:50:10.050 --> 00:50:10.469
in Britain.
1307
00:50:10.590 --> 00:50:11.710
Really? Yeah.
1308
00:50:11.969 --> 00:50:14.250
And the acceptable levels, like Jay did a whole lot
1309
00:50:14.269 --> 00:50:16.329
of research. It's like the acceptable levels in this country
1310
00:50:16.369 --> 00:50:18.389
are 10. So as long as you've got under 10
1311
00:50:18.389 --> 00:50:20.909
in your water, they say it's fine. But the medical
1312
00:50:20.949 --> 00:50:23.909
associations around the world say five is the acceptable limit
1313
00:50:23.949 --> 00:50:24.880
before it causes damage.
1314
00:50:25.179 --> 00:50:28.059
So Britain is like five behind the rest of the world.
1315
00:50:28.079 --> 00:50:28.519
Right.
1316
00:50:28.539 --> 00:50:30.360
Because it just goes, oh, no, it'll be fine. And
1317
00:50:30.380 --> 00:50:30.719
it isn't.
1318
00:50:31.380 --> 00:50:33.139
So, like, we've had a whole thing about lead. But
1319
00:50:33.460 --> 00:50:37.260
the thing about lead, again, through research, is all the
1320
00:50:37.320 --> 00:50:41.150
symptoms of lead poisoning are all exactly the same symptoms
1321
00:50:41.269 --> 00:50:42.550
of a toddler turning two.
1322
00:50:42.889 --> 00:50:45.010
So, like, we found out about the lead stuff.
1323
00:50:46.550 --> 00:50:49.849
Just as going into the terrible twos and, like, having
1324
00:50:49.889 --> 00:50:51.250
the odd tantrum and.
1325
00:50:51.289 --> 00:50:53.619
Like, getting upset and all that kind of stuff.
1326
00:50:53.920 --> 00:50:56.519
And then, like, when you read, like, lead poisoning, it's like, oh,
1327
00:50:56.599 --> 00:50:59.260
can display violent behaviour.
1328
00:50:59.579 --> 00:51:01.119
We'll start being irrational.
1329
00:51:01.380 --> 00:51:03.079
So, like, our battle in the house.
1330
00:51:02.900 --> 00:51:04.590
Has always been, is it lead or is it.
1331
00:51:05.159 --> 00:51:05.989
Is it lead?
1332
00:51:06.070 --> 00:51:10.070
Which is two. So, like, she'll throw her food and
1333
00:51:10.090 --> 00:51:11.869
Jane will look at me and go, it's the lead.
1334
00:51:12.210 --> 00:51:18.210
And I'll be like, no. No, she's two. She's two.
1335
00:51:21.550 --> 00:51:24.010
She'll be coming in after nights out off her face going, oh,
1336
00:51:24.030 --> 00:51:25.590
she's been drinking the water again.
1337
00:51:25.829 --> 00:51:27.369
Yeah, it's the lead.
1338
00:51:27.590 --> 00:51:28.269
It's the lead.
1339
00:51:28.949 --> 00:51:31.179
So we had her tested and everything and her levels
1340
00:51:31.199 --> 00:51:32.760
were really very, very low.
1341
00:51:32.800 --> 00:51:34.349
So we're okay. We got away with it.
1342
00:51:34.380 --> 00:51:36.760
So it's just her behaviour and your parenting? It is
1343
00:51:36.780 --> 00:51:38.440
just that she's a toddler. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1344
00:51:40.019 --> 00:51:42.420
But that has been the constant discussion. It's like, is
1345
00:51:42.480 --> 00:51:42.860
it the lead?
1346
00:51:42.880 --> 00:51:43.280
Is it the lead?
1347
00:51:43.519 --> 00:51:44.900
Is it the lead? That's so good.
1348
00:51:44.920 --> 00:51:45.480
Is it the lead?
1349
00:51:45.539 --> 00:51:46.559
It's just two, yeah.
1350
00:51:46.880 --> 00:51:49.409
There's going to be so many paranoid people now going
1351
00:51:49.489 --> 00:51:51.550
straight to lead testing their water.
1352
00:51:51.750 --> 00:51:53.090
I cannot stress enough. Check your water.
1353
00:51:53.110 --> 00:51:54.210
It's mad. It's mad.
1354
00:51:54.590 --> 00:51:55.849
How do you check it?
1355
00:51:55.869 --> 00:51:57.909
You just drink it. If you've got any fillings, it tingles.
1356
00:52:00.300 --> 00:52:02.239
Drink it for three days, and if you punch someone
1357
00:52:02.260 --> 00:52:05.619
at the end of it, it's probably lead. Can you
1358
00:52:05.659 --> 00:52:06.639
plead it in court?
1359
00:52:06.739 --> 00:52:07.400
Yeah.
1360
00:52:07.780 --> 00:52:11.139
Genuinely, that is a strong theory, that, like, people in
1361
00:52:11.179 --> 00:52:15.769
poor social housing, especially, like, 100 years ago, had nothing
1362
00:52:15.829 --> 00:52:17.170
but lead water in their supplies.
1363
00:52:17.230 --> 00:52:19.190
And it does genuinely lead to violent tendencies.
1364
00:52:19.210 --> 00:52:21.349
Oh, my God. So there is, like, a whole theory
1365
00:52:21.389 --> 00:52:21.769
behind it.
1366
00:52:21.989 --> 00:52:23.769
We've all done a lot of reading on lead, yeah.
1367
00:52:23.789 --> 00:52:25.969
You have, haven't you? Maybe it's the next Christmas film.
1368
00:52:25.989 --> 00:52:30.119
LAUGHTER lead based well that's what happens in this one
1369
00:52:30.199 --> 00:52:32.119
one of the families has got lead in their water
1370
00:52:32.179 --> 00:52:34.079
and you have to work out which one yeah it.
1371
00:52:34.039 --> 00:52:35.340
Turns into a whodunit.
1372
00:52:38.719 --> 00:52:40.309
Tom it's been a pleasure to catch up.
1373
00:52:40.250 --> 00:52:42.150
I loved it lovely to be back on guys lovely
1374
00:52:42.170 --> 00:52:44.130
to be back on what's the name of the film again?
1375
00:52:44.900 --> 00:52:47.860
It's called Your Christmas or Mine. Yeah. And it's on
1376
00:52:47.960 --> 00:52:50.110
Prime Video on the 2nd of December.
1377
00:52:50.239 --> 00:52:51.139
I can't wait to watch it.
1378
00:52:51.469 --> 00:52:53.550
So does that mean I get it for free if I've.
1379
00:52:53.449 --> 00:52:54.230
Got Amazon Prime?
1380
00:52:54.269 --> 00:52:57.170
Yeah, it'll be on their homepage from the 2nd of December.
1381
00:52:57.210 --> 00:52:58.750
I think it's going to be their big Christmas film.
1382
00:52:58.849 --> 00:53:01.349
Is it? Yeah, it's their big Christmas film for the season.
1383
00:53:01.369 --> 00:53:04.090
There's a soundtrack out now as well on Amazon Music.
1384
00:53:04.170 --> 00:53:06.989
It's got an original soundtrack of... Is it on Spotify, Tom?
1385
00:53:07.889 --> 00:53:08.500
Oh, no, it isn't, no.
1386
00:53:08.500 --> 00:53:13.550
LAUGHTER The soundtrack's out there if you want to find
1387
00:53:13.650 --> 00:53:15.750
it somewhere.
1388
00:53:15.769 --> 00:53:17.829
Doesn't sound like it's worth listening to to me, but
1389
00:53:17.869 --> 00:53:20.110
there we go.
1390
00:53:20.710 --> 00:53:22.969
Cheers, Tom. It's been amazing. We've asked that question before
1391
00:53:23.010 --> 00:53:24.849
about the best and... Oh, no, because we asked you
1392
00:53:24.889 --> 00:53:27.250
about what the... Did we ask you about what Jane
1393
00:53:27.289 --> 00:53:29.969
does that annoys you about parenting? Because now we've added
1394
00:53:30.010 --> 00:53:32.750
a question of what amazing thing does she do? Not her,
1395
00:53:32.829 --> 00:53:35.030
but the partner. We don't ask everyone what Jane does.
1396
00:53:35.070 --> 00:53:36.789
So I don't know if we asked you that before,
1397
00:53:36.809 --> 00:53:38.349
the thing that annoyed you, but we can do it again.
1398
00:53:38.389 --> 00:53:39.630
What annoys you about her parenting?
1399
00:53:39.650 --> 00:53:41.760
We might have changed over the two years. Yeah, I
1400
00:53:41.840 --> 00:53:43.800
think the thing that annoys me is her.
1401
00:53:44.000 --> 00:53:46.159
I mean, I know it's... It's probably one of the
1402
00:53:46.179 --> 00:53:48.019
things that makes her such a good parent as well, though, is, like,
1403
00:53:48.099 --> 00:53:51.519
the surveillance, the level of, like, never relaxing. Like, I'd
1404
00:53:51.559 --> 00:53:52.940
love her to be able to relax a bit more,
1405
00:53:53.219 --> 00:53:55.000
but I also know that's part of what makes her
1406
00:53:55.019 --> 00:53:57.280
such a good parent, to be on constant kind of.
1407
00:53:57.679 --> 00:53:59.360
I'd love to be able to switch the video screen
1408
00:53:59.380 --> 00:54:01.780
off a little bit.
1409
00:54:02.000 --> 00:54:05.860
LAUGHTER that was the best thing tom i mean her
1410
00:54:05.900 --> 00:54:07.619
best thing and it's always been the way when i
1411
00:54:07.639 --> 00:54:10.860
first met jane in normal life is like empathy her
1412
00:54:11.000 --> 00:54:14.780
empathy for glow is like when glow's freaking out she
1413
00:54:14.840 --> 00:54:16.139
never gets cross.
1414
00:54:16.059 --> 00:54:19.119
With gloria for that she just understands why she's freaking
1415
00:54:19.219 --> 00:54:21.949
out and it's like She's not misbehaving. It's because she's
1416
00:54:21.989 --> 00:54:24.070
just trying to communicate with us. And it makes us
1417
00:54:24.130 --> 00:54:27.670
such a... She kind of diffuses any situation by being
1418
00:54:27.710 --> 00:54:30.050
able to be empathetic with Glo. I'm in awe of
1419
00:54:30.090 --> 00:54:32.489
that because I kind of... I start to try and think, right,
1420
00:54:32.570 --> 00:54:35.409
I should be telling someone off. My instinct is, I
1421
00:54:35.449 --> 00:54:38.050
should be telling someone off here because she's doing that.
1422
00:54:38.190 --> 00:54:39.849
I've got to tell her off. I'm the dad.
1423
00:54:39.949 --> 00:54:42.329
And then Jane will step in and just start talking
1424
00:54:42.349 --> 00:54:44.469
to Glory and being like, I understand you're upset. And
1425
00:54:44.730 --> 00:54:47.650
this is probably why you're frustrated and empathizing with her instead.
1426
00:54:48.150 --> 00:54:51.260
Before you know it, like, everyone's really happy, and I'm
1427
00:54:51.280 --> 00:54:54.239
always like, wow, that's pretty amazing that you can do that.
1428
00:54:54.320 --> 00:54:56.900
That's lovely. Oh, thanks, Tom. Good luck with the film.
1429
00:54:56.960 --> 00:54:58.699
Good luck with the film. Ah, cheers, boys.
1430
00:54:59.000 --> 00:55:00.579
Yeah, we'll definitely be watching. Ah, great.
1431
00:55:00.619 --> 00:55:01.820
Thanks for having me back on. Lovely to see you.
1432
00:55:01.980 --> 00:55:02.900
Cheers, mate.
1433
00:55:02.920 --> 00:55:04.530
See you in two years. See you in two years.
1434
00:55:04.590 --> 00:55:10.349
Bye. Tom Parry. Yes. What a great guy. I love
1435
00:55:10.389 --> 00:55:12.630
Tom Parry. That was a good one, actually. It was good.
1436
00:55:12.650 --> 00:55:14.780
We caught him just because it feels like they're at
1437
00:55:14.820 --> 00:55:17.579
the end of baby, beginning of like child.
1438
00:55:17.619 --> 00:55:17.800
Yeah.
1439
00:55:17.900 --> 00:55:19.699
And it's that really weird thing where the baby's sort
1440
00:55:19.719 --> 00:55:21.420
of old enough now, but you're sort of in that routine.
1441
00:55:21.440 --> 00:55:23.380
You want it like the screen needs to go soon.
1442
00:55:23.420 --> 00:55:25.239
The mattress is going to come out of the bedroom soon.
1443
00:55:25.260 --> 00:55:27.909
But it's all where it's overlapping, where it's hard finding
1444
00:55:27.949 --> 00:55:28.489
that line, isn't it?
1445
00:55:28.909 --> 00:55:30.869
I didn't even know there was the option to keep
1446
00:55:30.909 --> 00:55:33.610
the screen on at all times. Ours is a movement sensor,
1447
00:55:33.719 --> 00:55:35.159
or a sound sensor, I think.
1448
00:55:35.179 --> 00:55:37.440
Yeah, ours would just be on until there was a
1449
00:55:37.480 --> 00:55:39.900
move or a sound. No sound, yeah, but, you know.
1450
00:55:39.940 --> 00:55:41.760
Because then you get the thing at 3am when it
1451
00:55:41.820 --> 00:55:42.980
lights up, you're like, this.
1452
00:55:42.920 --> 00:55:43.559
Is bad news.
1453
00:55:43.699 --> 00:55:46.019
Yeah. Well, I can't remember when we stopped having a camera,
1454
00:55:46.039 --> 00:55:47.739
to be honest. I think it broke and we never
1455
00:55:47.800 --> 00:55:48.230
fixed it.
1456
00:55:48.619 --> 00:55:50.570
Yeah, we've still got ours. Not with our daughter.
1457
00:55:50.650 --> 00:55:52.570
Because I remember there was a stage where you're filming
1458
00:55:52.590 --> 00:55:55.429
your child. And you think, this has gone on too long.
1459
00:55:55.829 --> 00:55:57.829
It's just a child asleep now. It's not a baby
1460
00:55:57.849 --> 00:56:01.699
that needs to be... Really, you don't even really sort
1461
00:56:01.719 --> 00:56:03.780
of need a screen at all. But I don't think
1462
00:56:03.800 --> 00:56:06.019
my anxiety could have hoped to have no screen from
1463
00:56:06.059 --> 00:56:08.820
the beginning. If you are a no screener and you've
1464
00:56:08.860 --> 00:56:10.960
never had a screen, like a camera on your baby,
1465
00:56:11.000 --> 00:56:14.010
let us know. And let us know how that felt,
1466
00:56:14.070 --> 00:56:16.230
why you come to that decision. And is it fine
1467
00:56:16.289 --> 00:56:18.269
and we're over and we're all worrying too much? Because
1468
00:56:18.289 --> 00:56:19.889
we were big screen guys in our house.
1469
00:56:20.090 --> 00:56:22.030
Yeah, well, I'll tell you why we found it useful,
1470
00:56:22.210 --> 00:56:24.570
or do find it useful. It's like when he goes down,
1471
00:56:25.070 --> 00:56:28.489
you know you leave him, and sometimes he's shouting, but
1472
00:56:28.510 --> 00:56:30.869
then you look and he's lying down, and you're like,
1473
00:56:31.179 --> 00:56:33.380
that's going to be fine. And sometimes he's standing up
1474
00:56:33.389 --> 00:56:35.760
in the cot, and you can tell the difference by
1475
00:56:36.159 --> 00:56:37.599
how he is in the cot, if you know what
1476
00:56:37.619 --> 00:56:37.860
I mean.
1477
00:56:38.059 --> 00:56:40.320
Yeah, rather than going in, so it does help.
1478
00:56:40.380 --> 00:56:42.539
Yeah, so it does mean that you go... fuck him,
1479
00:56:42.579 --> 00:56:43.900
he's lying down, I'm not going in.
1480
00:56:43.900 --> 00:56:45.699
Yeah, and they sort of get up and they jolt
1481
00:56:45.860 --> 00:56:47.340
up and make a noise and look around and then
1482
00:56:47.380 --> 00:56:48.539
lay back and go straight to sleep.
1483
00:56:48.579 --> 00:56:48.820
Yeah.
1484
00:56:49.000 --> 00:56:50.619
But if you'd already gone in, you're waking the baby up.
1485
00:56:50.639 --> 00:56:51.619
Yeah, exactly.
1486
00:56:51.800 --> 00:56:54.679
Exactly, Rob. Also, as well, the Father Christmas one's really
1487
00:56:54.699 --> 00:56:56.480
going to divide people. That is going to be a
1488
00:56:56.519 --> 00:56:58.579
juicy debate on Facebook and Instagram.
1489
00:56:58.659 --> 00:56:59.360
Oh, my word.
1490
00:56:59.469 --> 00:57:01.190
It'd be good to hear if anyone has done what
1491
00:57:01.489 --> 00:57:03.070
Tom and Jane are thinking about doing.
1492
00:57:03.289 --> 00:57:05.269
I just don't think as a four-year-old I'd have kept
1493
00:57:05.309 --> 00:57:06.510
it to myself at school.
1494
00:57:06.670 --> 00:57:09.670
That's the problem. You start to impact other people. That's
1495
00:57:09.730 --> 00:57:11.869
the thing, isn't it? Yeah. Oh, it's a good one.
1496
00:57:11.889 --> 00:57:13.489
Get in touch. Email in.
1497
00:57:13.849 --> 00:57:16.300
Right. See you on Tuesday. See you later. Bye.