Access Granted

WEBVTT
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After the show is the after party, and after the party is the hotel lobby and hey, oh, I'm just grinding with you.
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Well, are you attracted to him or what comes with him?
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Tonight, y'all, we're going somewhere.
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Where are we going, twin?
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Oh Lord.
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Apparently they have the party.
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Access.
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Granted, I'm Sean today.
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And I'm Bill.
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And we're the two daughters.
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You know when you hear somebody do the mmm, you know it's about to be some tea cup.
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It's about to be some realness because this is Yeah, this is a touchy one.
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It happens, you know, and it is what it is.
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So apparently, wherever the rapper, the athlete, the comedian, the entertainer, whoever.
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The pastor.
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Oh, I know.
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I know.
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I wasn't supposed to say that.
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Blue.
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Oh, it's gone.
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We want to be there.
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We want to be a part of it.
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We want to know what's going on.
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We want to feel like we're important.
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We want to feel like we can be seen.
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So now we have um something that's been going for quite sometimes.
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Um that people like to go to the after party.
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They like to visit uh with other people after the the show is over.
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They they stand in line and they patiently wait to see if they're gonna be called and pull forward or you know, that happens.
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So now why does the show end and suddenly everybody knows where the after party is or where the the next place is to be in that group, to be in the number.
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Why?
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Why do we know?
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You know, only a select few know.
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Yeah, you know, when after the party for us, we end up at the Waffle House, you know, but uh there are folks that end up at other places, yeah, and they're in the know, and uh it's created quite a subculture related to stardom, yeah, celebrity life, and just trying to touch the hem of his garment.
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So yeah, it's incredible.
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You know, I think I think I think this stuff has been going on for so long, but this is just another occasion where I think social media has made it even more prevalent because you know, people wake up, they grab their phone, they're looking at Insta, Facebook, Snap, TikTok, and lifestyle.
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Yeah.
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Lifestyle that's associated with that can be associated with who you're with, whether you're in a relationship, a situationship, or you know, on a team or whatever.
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And that's what a lot of folks are very interested in, and and getting to that position.
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So do you think like when I I guess for me, I'm thinking about because we've been in, you know, those places, and me personally, I don't feel like nothing is wrong with it.
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I mean, great, you backstage, you hanging out with celebrities or entertainers or whomever.
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I don't see anything wrong with it.
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I just think as especially women, we have to just know how to carry ourselves in those situations, in those scenarios.
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Um, is it wrong to be invited?
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Absolutely not.
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Is it wrong to invite yourself?
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Absolutely not.
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A closed mouth, don't what?
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Don't get fed.
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But in some instances, you just have to, well, in all instances, you have to know uh the boundaries.
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You have to know when to say when and when not to say when.
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Um, so when we're talking about tonight access granted, I think it goes a little bit deeper than what does it you know really mean to say access granted?
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Is it about getting into the VIP section, coming backstage, um, being invited to private parties, getting expensive gifts from the person?
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Is it about getting into the hotel rooms or getting opportunities?
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Like, what is it really about?
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Because I really don't want to believe that it's just about that.
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I think it goes into a deeper place.
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Uh, and I'm only speaking from a woman's standpoint because I can't speak from a man's standpoint, but actually, you know, when I'm thinking about it, it's like if you're a woman and you look at your phone and you got a phone full of contacts from different celebrities, like how does that make you feel?
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I think for a lot of women it makes them feel good.
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Yeah, because they have the access.
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Or you go into a room and suddenly you this person that really don't feel too, too great by yours about yourself, but because I can enter this room and I can stand next to this person and this person knows my name.
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Now, how do I feel?
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Because I got access, and not only do I have access, this person knows who I am.
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Yeah, and I have this person contacts information.
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This person knows my name.
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Right, and not only that, I'm standing to next to somebody that somebody else probably won't.
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Somebody else probably wants this, even this spot that I'm standing in in this very moment, and even that makes me feel yeah, yeah, it's the shake your shimmer, it's the shimmer with the the shoulder, shake your shoulder.
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But even that makes me feel some type of way, it makes me feel so much better about myself.
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Yeah, now I feel accomplished, and that's so crazy because sometimes just because a person is a celebrity and you standing next to them, you may be more accomplished than that person.
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It's just that everybody knows their name and may not know yours.
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But we all know the struggles in Hollywood, we all know the struggles with you know entertainers.
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Everybody is really in the same place, just some of them are just trying to make it.
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Well, so I have to disagree with you.
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I don't think that everybody is in the same place.
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You know, I think I think that there is a hierarchy of celebrity life and stardom, and it can be intoxicating uh for those of us who are on the other side who have not experienced that.
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I mean, think about it.
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When we were coming up, it was like Michael Jackson, you know.
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If I don't go that far back.
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I love Michael, Michael Jackson, okay, Whitney Houston, okay, Beyonce.
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Come on, bring him, bring me.
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Bring me forward a little bit.
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You know, of just these absolute megastars that if you had their if you if you went to a concert, you just want to be as close as possible.
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Or which is why people buy front row seats, which is why people buy front row seats, but not because that access feels powerful.
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Yeah, it's intoxicating.
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Yeah, like you said, it's it's it's so powerful because it's like I'm in a room that I never thought that I would be in.
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And so I'm doing all that I can, you know, to get in this place.
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So that's why I said, is it really about him or her, the person, or is it really and truly about what you need as a person?
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Because that's really what's the what it's about.
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Yeah, I think that it's always about what that person needs.
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And I think the the difficulty here, and I won't say difficulty, I think the the reality is how does it play out in reality?
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You know, it social media can make you think that okay, if I meet this person at a concert or somehow end up with them, you know, in a sexual situation, that that's gonna parlate into me becoming a wife.
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And then that's gonna parlate into this incredible lifestyle where I can travel the world, have as many.
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And that's what I was gonna say.
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So that access that we talk about, that access, yeah, okay, I want money because we know with money there there's a freedom that comes with having money.
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Also, that access gives-I don't know if you are really free because US well-guess what it represents, though.
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It represents money represents freedom.
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Running money represents experiences.
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So if I'm a person that I'm just trying to get to this person because I feel like I disagree because it's not your money, so you ain't never free, you a slave to what that person with the money thinks about you and the position and hit that you have in his or her life.
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If I'm just having a good time and I just want to be back there with the person for a moment, if it's even just for one night, I feel like I'm around money.
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So even though it may not be mine, I feel like it's mine.
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And I'm I I feel freedom.
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I feel because think about it.
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When you're in the room with a bunch of celebrities, you're taking pictures with them, you're smiling, you laughing, you grinning, you're having a good time, it makes you feel like I'm a part of their world.
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I'm a part of what they experience.
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I'm a part of because if I'm just a concert goer and I'm usually just, you know, hit seeing them perform and then I leave, I don't get a chance to experience what happens behind the scenes.
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So now I'm behind the scene and I'm like, oh, this is what it feels like.
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Oh, this is what they do, you know, afterwards.
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This is their life.
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This is all the people that are around them.
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So I feel the money, I feel the freedom, I feel the fame.
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And we know some of that wanting to have access, it's the it's the money, it's the fame, it's the power.
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That's what the the person is is trying to get to.
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Yeah, regardless if it's yours or not, that's what you feel in in that moment.
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Yeah, and I guess for people it's it's an intoxicating feeling.
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And it's I was able to have access to think about it a little bit.
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Why why would you want to be back there?
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Because if you around, if you have access to somebody that's powerful, now you feel powerful.
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If you're around somebody who got money, now you feel like you got money.
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So there's a reason why people chase it.
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There's a reason why people line up and wait patiently to gain the access because it's all about the feeling, and it's all about I was just in a room with thousands and thousands of people, but now I'm the special one.
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I'm the one that has been chosen to be here for that night.
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Hey, if only in that city for only for only one night, and then also, you know what comes with that?
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I posted on social on social media.
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Now I got all this validation coming in from you know all these people.
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Now they're you know admiring me, and now they're at home wishing that they were in my shoes, and yeah, so now the validation comes along with it.
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That's such a false feeling.
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I think that that is so it is such a because it's based upon something that you have for a moment and that is dependent upon you.
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But that's how you feel though.
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But for most people, validation is something psychologically that happens within yourself to know that I'm right now with somebody who everybody else out there wants psychologically.
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That does something, yeah.
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I'm I'm on a natural high because I'm in this position where so many other people.
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I got you, I got you, I got you, and I guess I just was always, you know, when I was in college, I I remember um just seeing girls who would flock to the athletes, you know.
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I went to UF, University of Florida, Go Gators! Go Gators, you know, Division I school, incredible athletes.
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Um, a lot of them end up in the NFL.
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And there were girls, freshman year, sophomore, literally, they just would just flock to the athletes.
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Um, and I was very quickly able to see those guys were just really, they would treat these girls in a certain way.
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I mean, they would literally call them old reliables.
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You know, uh, that was the girl that if you need to get your rocks off, boom, boom, call her, text her, she'll pop up at the dorm, and you know, you feel better.
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Oh Lord.
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Um and it was just so interesting because it's like those girls never climbed up, you know.
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Those girls were treated in that way.
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And because once you there was no, yeah, they were just they stayed at that level of this is the girl that this is my hookup chick.
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You know, and those are not the girls that became the wives or serious relationships, it was just a sexual relationship, and that was it.
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So it's like you and I always say, How you get on, how you get on is how you ride, yeah.
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And then you have those same females that will say, Oh, you know, he he treats me like this, and and he talks to me like this, and he says this to me.
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How you get on is how you ride.
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How you were introduced, or how you introduced yourself to him, you introduced yourself to him in a capacity of here I am.
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You didn't introduce.
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Yeah, you didn't introduce yourself in a way of I want to get to know you and I want to date you.
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You introduce yourself as okay, let's go.
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I'm just glad that I'm here, you know.
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Out of all the people you could select it, you selected me, let's go.
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I'll fulfill this need for you.
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You just said something.
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So in that moment, you're saying that now this guy feels like I'm the prize.
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Oh, yeah.
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Because not only did you stand out there and wait for me, not only were you willing to come wherever it is that I wanted you to go.
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I chose you, I chose you.
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So now when this guy is saying crazy stuff to you or whatever, and you're wondering where is it coming from?
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Well, it's coming from a place you already made him feel like, baby, you you it, you everything, because I'm I'm I'm so honored, I'm so elated to be here with you.
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You started that, right?
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So there is a responsibility on the female.
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And I I know a lot of times, you know, and I and I'm a female, I'm a feminist to my heart, but well, you it is you you have to call a spade a spade.
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And this is not, you know, we believe this is not the no, this is the no judgment zone.
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This isn't not about what's right or what is wrong.
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This is about choices and the reactions and consequences of your choices.
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And a lot I know when we hear consequences, we think, okay, something bad.
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Consequence is not something, it's just the aftermath.
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Yeah.
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And that aftermath it can be anything, it can be good or it can be bad and or negative and positive.
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Have you ever known anybody that oh yeah, oh baby?
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You said that's so fast.
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So absolutely, absolutely who did you know?
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So, one thing in particular, I remember a uh young lady we were cool in in in college, and I remember she Y'all were cool in college again.
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No, no, no.
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I this this is actually a story of of a bit.
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Well, I'll save that story for later.
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But no, I want to hear it.
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Well, this is this kind of goes to a different issue.
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Okay.
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But for all of the degrees, for all of the education, for all of the accomplishments, she was a beautiful young woman, but it was about access to athletes, stars, prominent business persons, and she always came in at a level of fulfilling the sexual needs.
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You know, if you start day one with these guys, because I I'm I I got to connect to it.
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I need to, I hear everything you're saying, but for me to make the connection, like what did she do?
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Who what what who did she do?
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What like what what happened?
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So so she was a person who again very accomplished at that point.
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You know, she had multiple degrees, 20-something years old, but you're dating this guy that is very much much older.
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And at that point, he was uh an NFL coach, and it was just interesting to watch because it's like, what do y'all have in common?
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I mean, y'all in two, you got about four.
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This man has about 40, at least 30 years on you.
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What do you all have in common?
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But it's the lifestyle of the perks, it's the ability to be able to get all kinds of financial support, be flown here or there to uh at that point because everybody loves to get fluid out of private jet life and things like that, access to these celebrities.
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I remember one time you told me a story about this was many, as you like to say, many, many moons ago.
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You were in this like toxic I was in a toxic relationship relationship with this uh young lady.
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Yeah, she was it, and she was and she was the person who could not commit to a real monogamous relationship because she needed attention from anybody with some stardom and celebrity.
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But I remember one particular instance that you told me about, and she slept with, you know, the yeah, she slept with a a uh at that point a major, major, major celebrity.
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And I remember asking her, it was and I'll say it, it was well, I won't even say it, but I'll say it.
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She slept with the Michael Jordan.
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And so, and at that point, I mean, we not talking about Michael Jordan when post-retirement Michael Jordan.
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No, we're talking about we talking about MJ doubles Michael Jordan, right?
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Yeah, and I was like, Well, how was that?
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And she was like, Well, he was just one where you know he didn't give up no money, no, no, no perks, no nothing.
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Why would he?
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Because he felt that her exact words was he felt that he was the prize, and so he was like, she felt that he thought that she should be grateful for the opportunity to be with him.
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Baby, not grateful, yeah, yeah.
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And I was like, wow, wow, yeah, wow, grateful, grateful, yeah.
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So, and and I think that's the reality of this stuff, of I think that my God, that our culture right now, well, our culture right now is all about, so I'll say this us, our culture when we were like, I'll say 15, 20, 25 years ago, we were about finding love.
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We were about, you know, some of us, I won't say all of us, but some of us was were truly about, you know, finding love.
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Um, now I feel like we are in a culture where it's about finding a lifestyle.
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Finding a life that does.
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Especially a lifestyle that looks good online.
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Yeah.
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We're so the culture has kind of shifted.
00:21:54.400 --> 00:22:18.400
Um, there not there are still some people out there really and truly trying to find love, but there are a lot of People out there that are searching for their lifestyle, and one way to find their lifestyle is to try to get access right to some of these people, but it's a way you got to go about doing it because as you stated a second ago, think about a person like MJ.
00:22:18.720 --> 00:22:27.119
First of all, you know, I don't know his timeline when he got married, when he wasn't married, but I don't know anything about that.
00:22:27.279 --> 00:22:30.880
But when you slept with him, what did that do for you?
00:22:30.960 --> 00:22:34.640
Did he come back and say, girl, you I want to court you?
00:22:34.960 --> 00:22:37.119
I want to court you, I want to date you.
00:22:37.279 --> 00:22:37.599
Absolutely.
00:22:37.920 --> 00:22:38.480
I love you.
00:22:39.039 --> 00:22:42.559
No, he met you in that place, and guess what he left you at?
00:22:42.799 --> 00:22:43.759
In that place.
00:22:44.799 --> 00:22:46.480
And that place left you right there.
00:22:46.640 --> 00:22:47.839
Yeah, yeah.
00:22:48.160 --> 00:22:54.160
And and with that, you know, it just continued from person to person of celebrity to celebrity.
00:22:54.319 --> 00:22:56.160
And it's like, what are you trying to find?
00:22:56.240 --> 00:22:56.720
I don't know.
00:22:56.799 --> 00:22:58.000
I guess I was just the person.
00:22:58.079 --> 00:23:12.240
I and I remember saying this in college as a 17, 18, 19 year old, and I said, I want to be the person who is invited to the party to the event.
00:23:12.880 --> 00:23:13.839
I don't want to be the plus one.
00:23:14.319 --> 00:23:14.880
Plus one.
00:23:15.039 --> 00:23:15.359
Yeah.
00:23:15.599 --> 00:23:18.799
Not you so-and-souls uh Absolutely not.
00:23:18.960 --> 00:23:22.480
You so-and-souls girl, or oh, that's no.
00:23:22.960 --> 00:23:23.839
Absolutely not.
00:23:24.079 --> 00:23:28.240
Is I'll be on the invitation list, but I will not be a plus one.
00:23:28.480 --> 00:23:28.880
Right.
00:23:29.200 --> 00:23:32.799
And conducting myself in that way.
00:23:33.039 --> 00:23:46.640
I remember literally being on the campus of UF, Turlington Plaza, and those guys being like, nah, you uh we not gonna mess with you because you wifey material.
00:23:46.960 --> 00:23:54.400
Because day 17, 18, 19, they they just want, you know, the sexual stuff and to be moving on.
00:23:54.480 --> 00:23:58.000
They weren't at that place of wanting to cuff up or link up or anything like that.
00:23:58.319 --> 00:23:58.799
Cough and see.
00:23:59.519 --> 00:24:02.480
They they this was about just having fun.
00:24:02.640 --> 00:24:11.920
And but you see, even in that moment, there was a distinction between how I carried myself and then how they looked at me.
00:24:12.480 --> 00:24:17.440
Because as opposed to the old reliables, or the jump-off.
00:24:17.680 --> 00:24:21.759
Or the jump-offs, you know, who were just like, I'm down for whatever.
00:24:22.000 --> 00:24:23.119
And the treatment was different.
00:24:23.279 --> 00:24:31.519
So let me when we talk about this, you know, invitation, because you were talking about like, you know, you want to be the person that's invited, not the plus one.
00:24:32.160 --> 00:24:40.640
I always think about when these girls are invited and they're the plus one, do you really know what that invitation means?
00:24:40.960 --> 00:24:43.519
Do you know what it comes with?
00:24:43.839 --> 00:24:50.480
Uh, are you going there with the expectation that it's gonna come with, you know, A, B, C, X, Y, Z?
00:24:50.880 --> 00:24:52.319
Like, what is it?
00:24:52.559 --> 00:24:56.960
Well, I don't think that those girls are not the ones that are invited in the spotlight.
00:24:57.119 --> 00:25:03.119
You know, those are the girls who, those are not the girls who go who are on the red carpet.
00:25:04.160 --> 00:25:11.119
The ones who are on the red carpet typically are the wives, you know, um, very serious relationships.
00:25:11.759 --> 00:25:15.279
Um, those are the girls who are in the hotel lobby.
00:25:15.519 --> 00:25:17.279
Now, but now let me say this though.
00:25:18.559 --> 00:25:19.519
No disrespect.
00:25:19.680 --> 00:25:26.880
No, but in all honesty and all fairness, I will say, um, because you and I have been in positions before.
00:25:26.960 --> 00:25:28.559
We've been backstage.
00:25:28.880 --> 00:25:31.519
Um Yeah, but we together.
00:25:34.000 --> 00:25:36.559
I mean, come on now, right?
00:25:36.640 --> 00:25:38.160
But listen to what I'm saying.
00:25:38.319 --> 00:25:39.440
There is networking.
00:25:39.680 --> 00:25:41.279
We were invited to the party.
00:25:41.680 --> 00:25:50.400
There is networking that goes on, um, genuine networking, genuine friendship, genuine, genuine attraction.
00:25:50.640 --> 00:25:51.440
Stop it.
00:25:51.839 --> 00:25:52.720
She don't stop it.
00:25:52.960 --> 00:25:53.759
She don't even like it.
00:25:53.839 --> 00:25:54.880
Yeah, she don't even like it.
00:25:55.039 --> 00:25:56.559
You mad and upset.
00:25:57.440 --> 00:26:00.880
Um, yeah, but there's curiosity back there.
00:26:01.440 --> 00:26:02.880
Absolutely it is.
00:26:03.119 --> 00:26:06.480
There's a desire for sexual attention back there.
00:26:06.640 --> 00:26:08.079
Absolutely it is.
00:26:08.319 --> 00:26:17.279
But for all, what I'm saying is, for all that most people probably think it is, there is some genuine things that do occur.
00:26:18.000 --> 00:26:21.200
The genuine networking, the genuine friendship, the genuine connections.
00:26:21.519 --> 00:26:21.599
Right.
00:26:21.920 --> 00:26:25.359
Um, but it's in how people treat you and how you viewed.
00:26:25.519 --> 00:26:33.920
You know, when we back there, we doing handshake and greeting, picture taking, interviews.
00:26:34.480 --> 00:26:48.000
But some people are back there honestly, just to really just experience again, back to just wanting to experience the lifestyle, the desire to want to be included in what's going on.
00:26:48.319 --> 00:26:52.640
Everybody is not back there like, oh, I want to get with him, but we want to get to go home.
00:26:52.880 --> 00:26:53.680
But we're not saying that.
00:26:54.000 --> 00:26:54.319
Yeah, yeah.
00:26:54.559 --> 00:26:54.880
I know.
00:26:54.960 --> 00:26:56.640
I'm just I'm just clearing it up.
00:26:56.799 --> 00:26:58.640
I'm just, you know, we're not saying that.
00:26:58.880 --> 00:27:06.000
Or for clarity, like there's a lot that goes on back there that is, you know, good in a sense.
00:27:06.079 --> 00:27:12.000
And and you know, for the other people, it's good too, because it's it's what they want out of it.
00:27:12.319 --> 00:27:15.200
Hey, and the food and the drinks be good back there too.
00:27:15.519 --> 00:27:16.880
I'm just saying though.
00:27:17.200 --> 00:27:18.640
Great private chefs.
00:27:18.960 --> 00:27:33.839
But also, I think too that we, you know, not to try to minimize it, but we can't, you know, sit there and say that everybody's intentions are innocent, everybody's intentions are pure and genuine because we do know some aren't.
00:27:33.920 --> 00:27:36.720
Yeah, some are back there for you know what it is.
00:27:36.960 --> 00:27:40.400
So I I do have like a uh a question for you though.
00:27:40.640 --> 00:27:56.480
So if you have two adults, understand the situation, both willing, willingly participating, does society have the right to be able to label one person as the groupie?
00:27:56.720 --> 00:27:58.160
Because you got two people, right?
00:27:58.319 --> 00:28:10.720
Two people willingly, you know, wanting to network, wanting to genuinely talk, wanting to genuinely connect, but why only one of them is going to be labeled, you know.
00:28:11.279 --> 00:28:12.400
Well, it's a power, yeah.
00:28:13.359 --> 00:28:14.319
It's a power issue.
00:28:14.400 --> 00:28:21.680
The person who is in power is not going to be a groupie, but that's the person who is subordinate is going to be in.
00:28:21.759 --> 00:28:40.079
If it's a subordinate who is, you know, trying to claim some level of fame or attachment or attention, and sometimes that can parlay into a sexual relationship, that person is going to be labeled as a groupie.
00:28:40.400 --> 00:28:45.359
And here's why I challenge women because you know, there's nothing wrong with having standards.
00:28:45.599 --> 00:28:55.519
You can absolutely say, I want a man who is financially stable, I want somebody that's ambitious, I want somebody that's successful, who can provide.
00:28:55.920 --> 00:28:58.640
But I do ask this, and this is my challenge.
00:28:58.880 --> 00:29:06.079
Would you still, and you know where I'm going with this, would you still want him if nobody knew he had money?
00:29:06.319 --> 00:29:12.880
If nobody knew he was successful, if nobody knew, you know, would you still want to be with him?
00:29:13.200 --> 00:29:14.480
I think or her.
00:29:14.640 --> 00:29:20.559
Yeah, I think the success, the money, the lifestyle is more enticing.
00:29:21.839 --> 00:29:33.119
People can be who what people can be with whoever they want to be, but that success, that stardom, that's intoxicating.
00:29:33.759 --> 00:29:44.000
Now, that man who is, you know, collecting the trash, picking up the recycle, doing the yard work.
00:29:44.240 --> 00:29:46.160
But he's that could be successful.
00:29:46.480 --> 00:29:47.200
A good man.
00:29:47.359 --> 00:29:47.920
That's a good man.
00:29:48.000 --> 00:29:48.799
Good man, Savannah.
00:29:49.279 --> 00:29:51.359
Good man, Savannah.
00:29:54.079 --> 00:30:08.160
But committed, but not as many women maybe checking for him as opposed to the guys who are all over the world.
00:30:08.400 --> 00:30:10.880
Or all over social media.
00:30:11.039 --> 00:30:11.359
Oh, yeah.
00:30:11.599 --> 00:30:17.680
Or, you know, or or or who even have the potential to be all over.
00:30:18.640 --> 00:30:22.079
Or he has 2,000 followers, but he has 2 million followers.
00:30:22.240 --> 00:30:24.480
So I'm gonna go over here with him.
00:30:24.720 --> 00:30:33.440
So there's a difference between I want a man that's successful versus I want a man who everybody else knows that he's successful.
00:30:33.599 --> 00:30:34.160
Nobody wants to be able to do that.
00:30:34.400 --> 00:30:35.839
That's the that's the difference.
00:30:36.000 --> 00:30:41.359
Uh I will always say nobody wants anybody that nobody else don't want.
00:30:41.519 --> 00:30:42.400
Nobody else don't want.
00:30:42.480 --> 00:30:46.880
I mean, you want you want for your person to be wanted by other people.
00:30:47.680 --> 00:30:51.759
That's that's part of how we as humans are.
00:30:52.160 --> 00:30:55.200
But it'll make you look yourself in the mirror like, now why?
00:30:55.519 --> 00:30:56.319
Don't I know this person?
00:30:56.720 --> 00:30:58.559
Don't nobody else want this person.
00:30:58.799 --> 00:31:00.480
Flirt with him, do something.
00:31:00.720 --> 00:31:01.279
Nobody.
00:31:01.440 --> 00:31:02.559
Wink at him.
00:31:03.039 --> 00:31:04.000
Something.
00:31:04.640 --> 00:31:05.599
Something.
00:31:07.279 --> 00:31:07.920
Something.
00:31:09.119 --> 00:31:11.039
You know, because I always think about that.
00:31:11.119 --> 00:31:12.880
Like, would you date him if he wasn't famous?
00:31:13.039 --> 00:31:17.759
Would you date him if he was driving a uh a Honda Civic, a Honda core?
00:31:18.000 --> 00:31:25.920
You know, I think women can be very, I think women can be very, very forgiving and be very accepting.
00:31:26.160 --> 00:31:28.400
But again, that's back to that access.
00:31:28.640 --> 00:31:35.680
Would you want him if you walked into a restaurant with him and nobody knew who he who he is?
00:31:36.079 --> 00:31:37.279
Would you still want him?
00:31:37.440 --> 00:31:37.680
No.
00:31:37.759 --> 00:31:39.920
And he may be the best person for you.
00:31:40.160 --> 00:31:46.160
But I want this person over here because when I go places with him, everybody is stopping me and saying, I don't, I don't know.
00:31:46.319 --> 00:31:46.799
Oh my God.
00:31:47.039 --> 00:31:47.519
No way.
00:31:47.759 --> 00:31:51.839
I don't think that that that you wouldn't want him.
00:31:53.119 --> 00:31:54.319
You wouldn't want him in the public.
00:31:54.400 --> 00:31:56.480
You want him behind closed doors.
00:31:58.079 --> 00:31:59.920
I don't see you tonight.
00:32:00.160 --> 00:32:01.440
I don't I don't think that.
00:32:01.599 --> 00:32:11.839
I think that women team tend to be very liberal and forgiving and accepting of whatever.
00:32:12.240 --> 00:32:17.119
Because there are many women who have a need just to be connected.
00:32:18.160 --> 00:32:18.640
Absolutely.
00:32:18.960 --> 00:32:22.480
Or or what seems to feel like connection.
00:32:22.880 --> 00:32:23.039
Oh.
00:32:23.599 --> 00:32:25.039
Whether it's real or not.
00:32:25.599 --> 00:32:28.880
Or what seems to feel like companionship.
00:32:29.200 --> 00:32:30.240
Whether it's real or not.
00:32:30.319 --> 00:32:31.839
Oh, well, let me just say that one more thing.
00:32:32.000 --> 00:32:38.160
Or what seems to be partnership or support, whether it's real or not.
00:32:38.319 --> 00:32:41.759
Or we want to be part of a lifestyle.
00:32:42.000 --> 00:32:42.240
Something.
00:32:42.480 --> 00:32:43.519
Access granted.
00:32:44.000 --> 00:32:46.160
Because it's all about something.
00:32:46.640 --> 00:32:48.559
It's all about the perception.
00:32:48.960 --> 00:32:51.759
It's all about how I want to be perceived.
00:32:52.000 --> 00:32:56.079
How I want to, again, back to those emotional feelings.
00:32:56.240 --> 00:32:57.519
I want to feel powerful.
00:32:57.599 --> 00:33:00.559
I want to feel so important.
00:33:01.119 --> 00:33:01.440
Right.
00:33:01.759 --> 00:33:06.880
No one ever expects to be in a car accident, but when it happens, you need someone who stands on business.
00:33:07.039 --> 00:33:09.440
I'm Melissa Daniels, and this is my city.
00:33:09.599 --> 00:33:10.960
I fight for my people.
00:33:11.200 --> 00:33:12.640
I am your attorney.
00:33:12.799 --> 00:33:16.319
Scan below, save the number, and if ever in need, call.
00:33:16.640 --> 00:33:25.680
So to the point of that person versus the celebrity, of course they're gonna choose a celebrity every single day.
00:33:25.839 --> 00:33:28.720
Probably more than likely.
00:33:28.799 --> 00:33:31.440
It just depends on what's more important to you.
00:33:31.599 --> 00:33:45.039
And maybe a generational thing of if I if I would say uh a teenager to a 30-year-old or 40-year-old, a 15-year-old, 15 to 40, they're gonna choose that celebrity.
00:33:45.279 --> 00:33:56.319
40 plus, we may say, no, I'll just go ahead and take because I already know with this situation, there's a whole different level of problems, set of problems that's gonna come along with it.
00:33:56.559 --> 00:33:57.279
And I don't know.
00:33:57.440 --> 00:34:10.320
I have a friend of mine who literally, she and her husband were married in college, um, undergrad, and they had children at that point.
00:34:10.960 --> 00:34:18.480
And he got drafted into the NFL, and literally from that point, it became a whole problem.
00:34:18.880 --> 00:34:20.000
Are they still together?
00:34:20.320 --> 00:34:40.800
No, no, it became a whole problem because with the celebrity lifestyle of being drafted, now you're an NFL player, it was so much more access, so much more opportunity, and it just, you know, outside families, and the relationship didn't work.
00:34:41.119 --> 00:34:44.639
And that's what I mean when I say it comes with a new set of problems.
00:34:44.960 --> 00:34:45.519
It does.
00:34:45.760 --> 00:35:00.159
And I think that's what people need to, men and women need to really look at when you always positioning yourself, yourselves around famous people, celebrities, or whatever.
00:35:00.320 --> 00:35:02.880
There's two sides to that coin.
00:35:03.039 --> 00:35:05.039
Oh my god, I sound like my grandmother.
00:35:05.199 --> 00:35:07.360
There's two sides to that to that coin.
00:35:07.440 --> 00:35:09.760
There's the heads and there's the tails.
00:35:10.159 --> 00:35:17.280
And you, you know, for a while you may be on the good side, but that coin is gonna what at some point.
00:35:17.599 --> 00:35:18.480
That's a tough life.
00:35:18.559 --> 00:35:20.000
That that coin is gonna flip.
00:35:20.079 --> 00:35:23.920
And when it flips, that's a tough life.
00:35:24.159 --> 00:35:29.760
And and everybody wanna be around, you know, the celebrities because guess what?
00:35:30.400 --> 00:35:33.840
From the outside looking in, they have an amazing life.
00:35:34.000 --> 00:35:47.920
They got the money, they got the fame, they got all the access, they have other celebrity friends, and you know, I could go here and I can go there, I can do this, I could spend this, and this person is gonna like me, and this person is gonna adore me.
00:35:48.079 --> 00:35:52.639
And everybody, you know, wants to be around me because now I'm the it person.
00:35:52.719 --> 00:36:00.079
They know I have the access, but behind closed doors, I mean, we just saw an incident just this week.
00:36:00.400 --> 00:36:05.679
Just this week, where everybody is looking at, and you know, and we're right here in Florida.
00:36:06.000 --> 00:36:09.679
We love us some some Rick Ross.
00:36:09.920 --> 00:36:21.760
Love Rick Ross, but you know, even now, this week, this week, he's been in the news on the headlines of stuff happening behind closed doors.
00:36:22.079 --> 00:36:28.480
First and foremost, I'm totally innocent of these fabricated allegations made against me.
00:36:28.719 --> 00:36:29.440
Tell me what happened.
00:36:29.679 --> 00:36:38.320
I repeat, I'm totally innocent of these fabricated allegations made against me.
00:36:38.559 --> 00:36:40.239
Are you saying she's making it now?
00:36:41.599 --> 00:36:43.679
I have an amazing team.
00:36:44.000 --> 00:36:45.519
Such an amazing team.
00:36:45.840 --> 00:36:46.800
Is she making it up?
00:36:46.880 --> 00:36:47.360
Yes or no?
00:36:47.519 --> 00:36:48.800
I'm looking at somebody asking me.
00:36:50.559 --> 00:36:51.440
Yeah, she's making it up.
00:36:51.840 --> 00:36:54.880
Of course, it's totally fabricated, my brother.
00:36:55.360 --> 00:36:56.320
Let me hear your side.
00:36:56.559 --> 00:37:08.159
What my weekend looks like, I'll be in Dubai tomorrow, Paris Saturday, and I plan on having a bowl of rigatoni with heavy marinara Sunday.
00:37:08.400 --> 00:37:13.199
And of course, he's saying, you know what, allegedly none of that occurred.
00:37:13.440 --> 00:37:21.679
He is innocent, but we don't know what type of life behind closed doors that she was living.
00:37:22.079 --> 00:37:22.880
Oh yeah.
00:37:23.119 --> 00:37:25.440
And and that kind of stuff, it happens.
00:37:26.320 --> 00:37:28.079
Oh yeah, you lose your peace.
00:37:28.239 --> 00:37:32.400
Oh everything comes with some level of sacrifice and a cost.
00:37:32.639 --> 00:37:43.920
Yeah, and and and that's not to say if you're not if you're in a relationship with someone who is not a multimillionaire, uh, that domestic violence doesn't come with it.
00:37:44.159 --> 00:37:49.280
But you know, but there's a perception that people give you too when you like that.
00:37:49.360 --> 00:37:51.920
You know, so it depends on how people are looking at it.
00:37:52.079 --> 00:38:01.679
Some people may be looking at it and saying, oh man, you know, every time I see them, they're around uh celebrities, and some may say, oh, they're networking.
00:38:01.840 --> 00:38:03.440
They're okay, boo.
00:38:03.519 --> 00:38:04.880
I don't know what's on my hand.
00:38:05.039 --> 00:38:10.639
Some people may say, oh, you know, they're networking, they're connected, they're social, they're living a life.
00:38:10.800 --> 00:38:25.119
Some people may look at that same behavior and be like, oh, that's a um, you know, she's an opportunist, or oh, she's attention seeking, oh, she has a, you know, a desire to be associated with fame.
00:38:25.599 --> 00:38:28.800
Oh, like it just depends on who's looking at it.
00:38:28.960 --> 00:38:33.360
And that's the part that I think that sometimes can be unfair because it's very unfair.
00:38:33.840 --> 00:38:40.159
At the end of the day, whatever that person wants or whatever that woman is seeking, that's on them.
00:38:40.559 --> 00:38:42.320
But that's on them.
00:38:42.639 --> 00:38:51.760
Yeah, yeah, because you know, we live in a day and age now where women, we don't have to be, we uh we are sexually free.
00:38:52.079 --> 00:39:14.159
So whatever you choose to do as far as your sexuality and who you choose to do with it, is go have at it, enjoy yourself, but know that there are going to be a sect of people who are sitting judging, and they're also gonna be a sect of people of if you come to a celebrity like this, you may never move out of that position.
00:39:14.480 --> 00:39:15.840
But that's the uncomfortable part.
00:39:15.920 --> 00:39:23.920
The uncomfortable part is is that you don't always get to control the story people create from your behavior, right?
00:39:24.079 --> 00:39:28.480
You can't control that you may be in their phone as jump off instead of as your name.
00:39:28.800 --> 00:39:34.400
Or or not only that, your your co-workers start, you know, to look at you differently.
00:39:34.559 --> 00:39:35.039
Oh, I'm sorry.
00:39:35.199 --> 00:39:44.239
Your your family start to look at you differently, jump off one, uh jump off Jax, a jump off Chicago, a jump off Charlotte.
00:39:44.400 --> 00:39:47.840
I mean, it it's that's just the unreliable New York.
00:39:50.559 --> 00:39:52.960
Good knees, uh, Chattanooga.
00:39:56.239 --> 00:40:00.639
So does perception uh matter?
00:40:01.679 --> 00:40:04.639
Um because you just said something.
00:40:04.719 --> 00:40:07.119
You say, you know, that's on that person, that's what they want.
00:40:07.199 --> 00:40:11.199
But does the perception matter if you know what your intentions are?
00:40:11.519 --> 00:40:14.400
Like if if if it's me, I'll be like, you know what?
00:40:14.559 --> 00:40:21.280
I know what my intentions are, I know that I'm back there, you know, networking, making business connections, blah, blah, blah.
00:40:21.440 --> 00:40:22.880
I don't care what everybody else thinks.
00:40:22.960 --> 00:40:25.199
That's their you know perception of me.
00:40:25.440 --> 00:40:30.880
But a lot of people do say, I don't care what other people think, I don't care how much, but yes, you do.
00:40:31.280 --> 00:40:31.599
Yeah, they do.
00:40:31.920 --> 00:40:32.400
Yes, you do.
00:40:32.480 --> 00:40:38.000
It will hurt your feelings if you knew some of the stuff that people were saying about you.
00:40:38.159 --> 00:40:44.880
And people will put you in this box, and when they put you in that box, they lock it and they throw away the key.
00:40:45.119 --> 00:40:45.920
That's the label, yeah.
00:40:46.239 --> 00:40:48.400
That's your label, that is it.
00:40:49.440 --> 00:40:50.000
That's it.
00:40:50.079 --> 00:40:51.599
You locked in that box.
00:40:52.400 --> 00:40:59.199
Honestly, I think that so many of our 20-somethings and 30-somethings, and they just don't even care.
00:40:59.360 --> 00:41:10.239
Is that kind of stuff being called a being treated or called out like we're promiscuous, that would have hurt our feelings.
00:41:10.400 --> 00:41:10.880
Oh, yeah.
00:41:11.119 --> 00:41:16.800
For them, body count, body count is a badge of honor.
00:41:17.039 --> 00:41:20.239
Well, you know, with us, we kept everything private.
00:41:20.320 --> 00:41:25.920
Like, we didn't want people to know that, you know, I slept with this person, I slept with this person, I slept with this person.
00:41:26.079 --> 00:41:30.800
And that's what I feel like sometimes when I think about the new generation.
00:41:31.039 --> 00:41:37.360
The new generation, they are very, how do you say it, sexually free.
00:41:37.840 --> 00:41:40.159
Body counts doesn't matter to them.
00:41:40.239 --> 00:41:43.360
It's like uh, like you stated, it's a badge of honor.
00:41:43.599 --> 00:41:50.800
For us, it came with a source of embarrassment, shame, shame of like, oh my god, loose woman.
00:41:51.039 --> 00:42:12.079
I don't want nobody to know I slept with him, like uh then, but now you know, and and sometimes I do uh feel as though so I think about the 60s, 50s, 60s, women took pride in wanting to be somebody's wife.
00:42:12.239 --> 00:42:17.280
That was like, you know, I'm I'm I'm working hard to be this person's spouse.
00:42:17.840 --> 00:42:22.000
Um, you know, he's the breadwinner.
00:42:22.239 --> 00:42:26.559
I can just be the stay-at-home mom, whatever.
00:42:26.800 --> 00:42:30.079
Then we moved into like because you know, we're 70s babies.
00:42:30.159 --> 00:42:32.639
We moved into the 70s, 80s, and 90s.
00:42:32.880 --> 00:42:38.639
The 70s, 80s, and 90s was kind of like, okay, um that's when we were working.
00:42:38.880 --> 00:42:40.159
We're we're working women now.
00:42:40.559 --> 00:42:42.239
We can help carry the household.
00:42:42.400 --> 00:42:46.320
I'm not just your spouse, but I'm also your helpmate.
00:42:46.559 --> 00:42:46.719
Right.
00:42:46.880 --> 00:42:52.480
So with that being your help mate, it's like I'm not relying on you to take care of me.
00:42:52.559 --> 00:42:55.280
I'm not relying on you to pay all of the bills.
00:42:55.599 --> 00:43:01.119
Um, we have a lifestyle, but it's a lifestyle that we built built together.
00:43:01.360 --> 00:43:06.559
Now we fast forward to the 2000-ish.
00:43:07.360 --> 00:43:13.920
The 2000-ish is like, baby, I want that lifestyle today.
00:43:14.320 --> 00:43:14.880
Today.
00:43:15.519 --> 00:43:20.159
And I'm gonna do whatever it takes to get that lifestyle right now, right?
00:43:20.320 --> 00:43:20.800
Today.
00:43:21.199 --> 00:43:34.400
So it kind of almost feels like we have gone backwards a little bit because we prided ourselves on being executives, all the women who presidents over, you know, colleges and universities.
00:43:35.199 --> 00:43:42.880
Yeah, it was that's what we pride, those were our anthems, yeah, and now is spin that shit.
00:43:43.039 --> 00:43:55.039
Spin that shit right, and I I mean, I love the song, I love to spin it, but yeah, but you spin in what yeah, you work for and what you earn.
00:43:55.199 --> 00:43:59.760
I ain't no booster, and and when you go into those.
00:44:00.239 --> 00:44:17.280
Type of relationships you go in already at a deficit, you go in just kind of like uh you know, this person at some point they don't show they behind and treat me any kind of way because the respect is not there, and all of this, all of my life has depended on them.
00:44:17.840 --> 00:44:22.480
All of my life that sounds like somebody from the 1950s.
00:44:23.440 --> 00:44:36.960
Not not what we've gone to college and worked for and received several degrees, and no, no, because I you know I say this all the time, and we locked in.
00:44:37.199 --> 00:44:38.159
I love you.
00:44:38.719 --> 00:44:50.800
But come hella high water today, tomorrow, next year, the next five years, the next 10 years, you know, I got to know that I I can take care of me.
00:44:52.239 --> 00:44:57.679
Oh yeah, and for me, for both of us, we are nobody's plus one.
00:44:59.280 --> 00:45:11.599
So maybe the combo isn't about you know, rappers or athletes or the concert, the after-party, the hotel lobby, the studio.
00:45:12.079 --> 00:45:14.239
Maybe it's about validation.
00:45:14.400 --> 00:45:19.039
All of this is coming because people need to feel validated.
00:45:19.280 --> 00:45:27.760
People want to feel validated, they want to feel powerful, they want to feel good about themselves, they want to be connected, they want to have the access.
00:45:28.239 --> 00:45:34.400
So, wanting to feel special, chosen, um, wanting proof that you're attractive.
00:45:34.719 --> 00:45:38.320
Because clearly, if I got back here, I look good.
00:45:39.679 --> 00:45:43.840
He wouldn't have chosen me if he didn't feel like I was attractive.
00:45:44.079 --> 00:45:49.599
Um, proof that you're desirable, wanting to escape financial struggle.
00:45:49.679 --> 00:45:52.239
Because some people think he's about to be my come-up.
00:45:52.400 --> 00:45:57.280
Look at him, and he likes me, and he thinks I look good, baby.
00:45:57.519 --> 00:46:01.679
Comparing yourself to other women because now you back there, you eyeing.
00:46:01.920 --> 00:46:03.679
Okay, who I'm finna get back there?
00:46:03.840 --> 00:46:05.440
Is he gonna let her back there?
00:46:05.679 --> 00:46:07.519
Uh, look at what she got on.
00:46:07.679 --> 00:46:08.880
Is he looking for this?
00:46:09.119 --> 00:46:10.960
You start comparing yourself.
00:46:11.119 --> 00:46:18.880
All of that to me is is like I said in the beginning, wanting the access is about validation.
00:46:19.119 --> 00:46:20.719
I want to be in the room.
00:46:20.880 --> 00:46:27.360
And I know we have sat here and made this somewhat about women, but let's not forget the men.
00:46:27.519 --> 00:46:29.840
There are men that want to be validated too.
00:46:30.079 --> 00:46:38.800
There are men that want to be in the room, there are men that are jealous of other men that are in spaces and with certain people that that they can't be with.
00:46:38.960 --> 00:46:40.559
So we're not gonna make this.
00:46:40.719 --> 00:46:41.119
Oh no.
00:46:41.679 --> 00:46:45.199
We're not gonna make this a gender thing because it's the men too.
00:46:46.400 --> 00:46:48.000
They want to be validated.
00:46:48.239 --> 00:46:54.239
Everybody wanna feel like they're entering um like a different social class.
00:46:54.800 --> 00:46:56.480
I've been upgraded.
00:46:56.719 --> 00:46:59.199
I'm not down here with you all anymore.
00:46:59.440 --> 00:47:01.119
I'm in the room.
00:47:03.280 --> 00:47:05.039
That's how they want to feel.
00:47:05.679 --> 00:47:07.519
So, hmm.
00:47:07.840 --> 00:47:09.280
Validation is big.
00:47:09.440 --> 00:47:10.079
So what?
00:47:10.239 --> 00:47:11.599
But what happens after that?
00:47:11.760 --> 00:47:14.880
What happens after all of that?
00:47:15.119 --> 00:47:17.199
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:47:17.440 --> 00:47:21.440
It's it's time for dope and dope or no.
00:47:22.000 --> 00:47:22.960
Dope or nope.
00:47:23.039 --> 00:47:26.000
You know the code for yes, nope, nope.
00:47:27.599 --> 00:47:36.639
Dope or nope, you get invited to an after party where you don't know anybody except for the celebrity.
00:47:39.039 --> 00:47:40.880
It's the long stare for me.
00:47:42.079 --> 00:47:43.280
It's the long stare.
00:47:43.599 --> 00:47:44.320
Blink twice.
00:47:44.559 --> 00:47:45.280
Blink twice.
00:47:45.440 --> 00:47:46.320
Hell no.
00:47:46.880 --> 00:47:47.519
I don't know.
00:47:47.679 --> 00:47:48.800
I I nah.
00:47:48.960 --> 00:47:51.519
I just too many things can happen.
00:47:51.599 --> 00:47:56.800
I I just baby, you be in there with baby oil, you be in there painted with baby law on you.
00:47:56.880 --> 00:47:58.400
I watched too many movies.
00:47:59.440 --> 00:47:59.920
Yeah.
00:48:00.639 --> 00:48:02.320
Yeah, I've watched too many movies.
00:48:02.400 --> 00:48:05.599
I'm thinking about one in particular where they was putting it in the lipstick.
00:48:05.920 --> 00:48:08.639
And the women would wake up the next morning not even knowing.
00:48:09.119 --> 00:48:09.599
What had happened?
00:48:09.760 --> 00:48:10.559
First dress.
00:48:10.719 --> 00:48:11.440
What do you mean?
00:48:11.599 --> 00:48:12.159
What do you mean?
00:48:12.320 --> 00:48:13.039
What do I mean?
00:48:13.280 --> 00:48:19.360
Just okay.
00:48:20.159 --> 00:48:20.400
Okay.
00:48:21.440 --> 00:48:22.639
You don't look so good.
00:48:22.719 --> 00:48:23.360
What's wrong?
00:48:23.519 --> 00:48:24.559
Yeah, what's wrong?
00:48:25.920 --> 00:48:26.559
First chest.
00:48:26.719 --> 00:48:26.960
Huh?
00:48:27.039 --> 00:48:27.199
What?
00:48:27.679 --> 00:48:29.360
My friend, that was in the room next to mine.
00:48:30.000 --> 00:48:30.960
The storage room?
00:48:31.119 --> 00:48:32.960
Hey, we're not you're on vacation.
00:48:56.239 --> 00:48:57.360
Just what's a hero.
00:48:57.840 --> 00:48:58.960
Just what's a hero.
00:49:00.239 --> 00:49:02.960
She said, she said there was something wrong with this place.
00:49:03.280 --> 00:49:03.840
I hear you.
00:49:03.920 --> 00:49:06.559
There was like this whole other person here, you know.
00:49:06.719 --> 00:49:08.079
I know it doesn't make any sense.
00:49:08.239 --> 00:49:12.960
It doesn't make any sense, but I feel like I feel like we're forgetting like a lot of stuff.
00:49:13.199 --> 00:49:16.480
How do we feel about putting down the knife?
00:49:16.719 --> 00:49:17.920
No, I'm sorry.
00:49:18.880 --> 00:49:19.519
I'm sorry.
00:49:20.000 --> 00:49:21.039
I'm sorry.
00:49:22.320 --> 00:49:23.840
What had happened to them?
00:49:24.079 --> 00:49:27.119
So um, it's definitely a note for me.
00:49:27.280 --> 00:49:31.440
I've always been the person, I'm gonna go with a group and that sounds like a setup.
00:49:31.679 --> 00:49:34.880
If we came together, we leave together.
00:49:35.199 --> 00:49:38.159
Leave nobody those are old school rules behind.
00:49:38.320 --> 00:49:39.920
Well, baby, bring them to new school.
00:49:40.079 --> 00:49:42.079
Those are rules that went out in the 2000s.
00:49:42.320 --> 00:49:43.199
And guess what?
00:49:43.440 --> 00:49:46.639
We protected each other and we're here.
00:49:48.239 --> 00:49:54.480
Dope or nope, you intentionally go to events because you know that wealthy men are going to be there.
00:49:54.800 --> 00:49:56.480
Well, that that doesn't apply to us.
00:49:56.800 --> 00:50:09.280
Not applicable in a dope or nope, you intentionally go to events because you know wealthy men will be there.
00:50:09.440 --> 00:50:12.719
I would say, you know, of no.
00:50:13.760 --> 00:50:17.920
No, but there are people that do.
00:50:18.239 --> 00:50:23.679
There are people that uh go to certain restaurants because they know a certain class of people are gonna be there.
00:50:23.760 --> 00:50:28.559
Because again, it's about the validation, the access.
00:50:29.039 --> 00:50:32.639
Listen, if we're gonna network, it's cool, but yeah.
00:50:33.360 --> 00:50:38.719
Networking is cool, but other than that, no thank you.
00:50:40.639 --> 00:50:45.760
Wanting a man who can provide isn't the problem.
00:50:46.400 --> 00:50:57.280
Wanting to go to a concert, meeting somebody famous, attendance, attending the after party, just having fun isn't automatically a problem either.
00:50:57.440 --> 00:51:00.800
The question is, what are you really chasing?
00:51:01.519 --> 00:51:02.800
Is it the person?
00:51:03.280 --> 00:51:04.639
Is it the lifestyle?
00:51:04.800 --> 00:51:06.320
Is it validation?
00:51:06.639 --> 00:51:07.840
Is it access?
00:51:09.039 --> 00:51:15.119
Money, or is it just, I don't know, is it just the story that that you want to tell?
00:51:15.280 --> 00:51:19.840
You just may want to wake up next morning and have a good a good story to tell.
00:51:20.079 --> 00:51:25.679
Or is it the feeling of being chosen by somebody who everybody else wants?
00:51:26.159 --> 00:51:36.559
The most important question is if the money, the fame, the followers, the access disappeared, would you still want that person and would you still be okay?
00:51:37.039 --> 00:51:46.559
Because there's a difference between being attracted to success and being attracted to what success can do for you.
00:51:48.079 --> 00:51:48.800
Stay dope.