WEBVTT
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Vegans have mental illness.
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It's a mental illness.
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It is a mental illness.
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And I said, don't pretend like you give a damn about what happened to a potato.
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Listen, I'm losing the argument, okay?
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I'm losing badge.
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I don't like, what are we even talking about?
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So I said, okay, Billy.
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What are atoms made of?
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We're talking about quarks and muons now.
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I said, are you questioning God?
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God's not even good enough.
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Oh, I ain't got a smellbox for cancer.
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No one knows.
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I don't need perfect.
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If I give you on the game, I'm gonna do it.
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Stay conscious.
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Stay with your eyes.
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Date conscious.
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Welcome back to another amazing episode of Date Conscious.
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And I'm your host, Billy Carson.
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And I'm your co-host, Beatrice Foster.
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So we're coming back again for episode number two.
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Yeah.
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And episode number one was phenomenal.
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Yeah.
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We had so many great comments, right?
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Yeah.
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So from the first episode, um, I saw so many great, incredible comments.
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People were really vibing with what we said.
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There were a lot of synchronicities.
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People loved our love story, right?
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I saw people saying that they, you know, they were crying or they had choked up.
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What comments stood out to you the most?
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Well, the one that stuck out to me the most was a young lady that basically stated that she had been having problems in love and she was ready to give up on love.
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And then our podcast came on and she was able to watch it, and she really resonated with us in regards to the timeline dating and meeting the same people basically in different bodies.
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And helping, we helped her identify that those timelines, dating on her timeline, and she was really excited about hearing more.
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So that was the message I wanted to get across.
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Beautiful, yeah.
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I saw so many people going, wow, it makes so much sense dating your timeline.
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Yeah.
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It almost seemed like this awakening was happening within them as if they were beginning to realize, wow, if you date your timeline, we could possibly have better success.
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Yeah.
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And it really seemed from what I saw in the comments from that first podcast and the responses were uh it seemed as if people really don't want to give up on love.
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Yeah.
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They really want to be in love, they really want to be loved, feel loved, and also love someone in a way that's very nurturing.
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Yes.
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And uh and that could last for a long time.
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I think people are, uh, from what I saw, uh a little frustrated, right?
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Some people had kind of felt like they were gonna give up.
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Yeah.
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And so hopefully, if they're, you know, feeling that way and they come across our podcast, yeah, that they change their mind.
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Because I didn't give up, and neither did you.
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Yeah, no.
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No, we gave up.
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You know, I I believe that basically if you become what you expect, you'll attract it.
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If you exist, then your counterpart has to, whatever that looks like for you.
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And the key is first recognizing who you are, really doing a deep dive into yourself, the things you like, the things you enjoy.
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Not showing up for other people, but showing up for yourself and what that looks like for you.
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And then you'll be able to identify easier who's more in alignment with you, and you won't continue to try to force misalignment.
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Exactly.
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I agree.
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Um, you know, because one of the things that we had so much we could have kept talking about from episode one, which is why we're doing episode number two again without any special guests.
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We will have guests on.
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We will be having some guests, okay?
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But right now the story is still so large.
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We wanted to kind of just recap a little bit and obviously go into topic number two, which is really, really important.
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Yeah.
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Um, you know, which is you know, understanding if you're sleeping with the enemy.
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Yes.
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You know, and that's something that um that a lot of us do without even realizing it.
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Without even realizing it.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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And that was the scariest thing is when you I think you've met the the one and everything is amazing.
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The beginning most obviously we're not gonna choose someone that shows us that they're a little bit of a psychopath in the beginning.
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You know, they're not gonna show us that, oh yeah, they're gonna be stalking you at 2 a.m.
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in the morning because you didn't answer your phone.
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Yeah.
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You know, they're not gonna show you that while they have several other people on the side that they didn't tell you about, and they're not gonna show you that in the beginning.
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They're gonna show you the best of who they are.
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And I did notice some other things in another comment where a young lady said, How do we know if we're dating our timeline?
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How do we know?
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Right.
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And so that's why I think this is very important to recognize that you're dating someone on your timeline.
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Yeah.
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But sometimes not only are you dating someone off of your timeline, you're literally sleeping with the enemy, someone that doesn't have your best interest.
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And it's a something that was very hard for me to deal with uh many years ago.
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When you wake up and you realize, wow, this person really doesn't like me.
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This person does not have my best interest at heart.
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And there were so many times that they showed who they were, and I just didn't believe them.
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Yeah, no.
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I mean, it was because we see the world as we are, yeah, not as it is, and and that takes off the um glasses, not even for your mate, but everyone, you know.
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You look at these situations and you're like, wow, how could how could someone be so cruel?
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How could someone be so evil?
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It just can't be real.
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Yeah, you know, and you said it in the last podcast that we want to see the best in everybody.
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But first, to see the best in everybody, we just have to accept that not everybody is the best for ourselves, each other, or humanity.
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Yeah, you know, as we can see what's going on in in the world.
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And so, so yeah, so that's why I thought it was very important for us to uh discuss that and highlight that.
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There were a lot of comments asking like, how do you know, how do you recognize?
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Yeah.
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Yeah, we have to tap into that because um recognizing is like the key, right?
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Awareness.
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Nothing can transform in your life without awareness.
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Yeah.
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And so how I ended up in several relationships.
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I haven't been in many, you know.
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Sometimes people try, you know, they try to comment on social media as if I'm some type of jiggler or something.
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I had less than 10, less than 10 women in my entire life.
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And I'm 55 years old, you know.
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But if you show up with three women online in 15 years, yeah, you know, it's like you got a lot of women, really.
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Yeah, yeah.
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Well, damn, okay.
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Well, but but but anyway, to say that to say that's a little funny, but that to say that uh, you know, the awareness, right?
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And so nothing to put any shade on any of them, yeah, not not to make them uh talk negative about them, it's just that um we do see the world as we are.
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Yeah.
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And so I saw myself in them, you know, there's an old Mayan saying in Quechua's called Inla Kek Alakin, and that means I am another you.
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What is it?
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Inla kek ala kin.
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In the click, in a click a kin.
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In the click.
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Inla kekek ala kin.
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In a kick.
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In a click.
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No.
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I can't even say all the moment.
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I would call him Mount Picchu.
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Mount what is it?
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Mount Machu Machu Pichu.
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Machu Picchu.
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I'm learning so much with Billy Carson.
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Yeah.
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Which is okay.
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I am it when I don't know.
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We're out of the financial realm now.
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We're getting into the esoteric.
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Okay, the esoteric, yeah.
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Right.
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So it's okay.
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Okay.
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But uh Okay, let's repeat it.
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So though.
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In Lakek Alakin.
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Inlakek alakin.
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Right.
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I am another you.
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I am another.
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And it means that, you know, I see the world, I see you as I see myself, right?
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I see myself inside of you.
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And because we want to see that best in other people, um, and we do kind of I don't hate to use the word victim, but more like we fall prey to their agenda.
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Yeah.
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Sometimes people do have an agenda, right?
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Um, I had been with people in the past that had definitely had an agenda.
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Yeah.
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They they sought me out, they they love bomb me.
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Uh, and then it was all an agenda to get on the inside and then manipulate, you know, move things around and do certain things or whatever.
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Um, and so we have to become aware.
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Awareness is the absolute key.
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And how do you become aware?
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We know that the love vibration or that love frequency, right?
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That initial stage is so overwhelming that we kind of become blind, right?
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We become blind to everything going on.
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And the red flags present themselves, but we just ignore them.
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Yeah.
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Uh, and the first thing we have to do is we have to become more a little bit more vigilant and we have to discern more.
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And, you know, one thing I did after my last uh situation where I ended up filing for a divorce and winning the divorce, I realized that uh through studying on relationships and self-improvement and understanding more about myself and why I, me, put myself in these situations because you can never blame the other person.
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It's always us that puts ourselves there.
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I began to realize that I didn't have awareness of these red flags.
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I didn't have awareness of situations that weren't on my timeline.
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Now, those red flags might be perfectly good.
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They might be green flags for somebody else.
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They might be golden green flags.
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Yeah.
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But for my timeline, they weren't in alignment with who I am and the path that I was on.
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And so when you when you ignore those red flags because of your love blindness, uh, it then tugs you away from your timeline and forces you onto theirs.
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And unfortunately, once that happens, sometimes those people will utilize that energy in a different way than it was meant to be used.
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So we have to be careful, we have to be aware.
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When a red flag shows up, we have to see them.
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After I um, you know, was divorced and I started dating.
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I dated a few people, just a couple, and I saw red flags.
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Not initially, but within the first few weeks, and I said, I see it.
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And this was the first time in my life I actually saw it before.
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The old Billy would have been like, let's go, right?
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I got on the what they call it, rose-colored glasses or something like that.
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What's that old saying?
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Yeah, it's the rose.
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Yeah, you know, and everything is great.
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Oh, that's nothing, that's no big deal, and I can work around that or I can change that.
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No, you can't change that.
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No, you can't work around that.
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If it's not serving your greater good, if it's not something that is uh gonna be a part of your timeline for you to be the best version of yourself, it has to go and you gotta walk away.
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And so that's exactly what I did.
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I did the moon walk out of there really quick.
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I was like, MJ.
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I was like, Annie, are you okay?
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Are you okay?
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Annie, listen, I was out of there.
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But why?
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Because I finally saw it before, forget about it.
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I ain't seen nothing.
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I was blind, but this time I actually saw it.
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So it's a step-by-step process.
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So what I'm saying to the to is this for people who have been going through the similar situations over and over and hadn't seen these red flags, they need to understand don't kick yourself, don't be down on yourself, don't be depressed, don't be angry.
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Just now start fresh and start anew and begin to recognize these red flags for what they really are.
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Because what I've learned through now my 55 years on this planet, a leopard never changes its spots.
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Oh, that's neat.
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Yeah.
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So like I I absolutely agree with that.
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Um having the strength to leave, you know, that's and get out of there.
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I don't care what they have, what it looks like they can offer you.
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Um, I don't care how strong the chemistry is, just look at it and say, no, but how do you get there?
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So it took me a while, all right, because I was not, I'm telling you, I literally am happy I love music.
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If you make me laugh, oh you got me.
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You know, it was just great.
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And so what ended up happening was one of my good friends and business partners, he started calling me an habitual first dater because I'd be at dinner with someone, and they literally, like I remember one person was eating and food like dropped out of his mouth while he was eating.
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Okay.
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And it wasn't, I and it wasn't his fault, right?
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I must say we were talking, but while he was eating or whatever, and I was like, nah, see, he don't pay attention, you know.
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I just started overdoing it.
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And then I went out with another gentleman, and he was, you know, he was super nice, super kind, you know, and all that stuff.
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But then in the um middle of the conversation, you know, he was like asking me about, you know, being vegan, and and he asked me in a hypothetical situation, like, if all we had to eat was a deer, would I eat the deer?
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You know, and I said, no, I'll just eat what the deer eats because once the deer is gone, we're not gonna have anything.
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And he got really upset.
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He was like, you would just let your family die and not eat the deer.
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He went so far off the deep end.
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Right, right, right.
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So I'm gonna do it.
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So this is the first date.
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So, you know, um, so we got in this huge debate, you know, about this deer, you know, and I'm like, listen, I'm not that vegan, okay?
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I'm like vegan, but I'm not this vegan where I'm trying to have this huge argument, you know.
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We're arguing about a hypothetical situation that hasn't even existed.
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So I like saw like that that that so raven show where she kind of gets projected into the future, and I'm like, here I am.
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Yeah, it's like apocalyptic.
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He was the most apocalyptic thoughts.
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He was like dystopia, like the geez.
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So other women like might be like, well, that's not that bad.
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You just got that.
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He's really great, he's got a great job.
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He makes, you know, six, seven figures.
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He does this, he's gorgeous.
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And you just you don't want to date him because you had a hypothetical argument.
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And I said, Yes.
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We had a hypothetical argument.
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That's crazy.
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That's crazy on a first date.
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So those are the red flags we're talking about that seem subtle, right?
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They seem innocent and fun and playful.
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He wouldn't playful.
00:16:18.129 --> 00:16:20.049
He was serious about me eating this deer.
00:16:20.289 --> 00:16:25.409
And so I got out of deer.
00:16:26.689 --> 00:16:27.969
So you got out of deer?
00:16:28.129 --> 00:16:28.929
I got out of deer.
00:16:31.169 --> 00:16:32.449
You're so funny though.
00:16:32.529 --> 00:16:34.129
Like, that's really good.
00:16:34.289 --> 00:16:36.609
But anyway, yeah, I got out of deer.
00:16:37.569 --> 00:16:39.250
Such a dad joke.
00:16:40.769 --> 00:16:49.329
But anyway, so I'm just saying, so we're not, so some people say, oh, this is so small, or this is that, but then there's a thing that'll happen where you just everything's great.
00:16:49.409 --> 00:16:51.329
You don't get in one argument at all.
00:16:51.490 --> 00:16:55.729
And then after two months, I always for me, it was always like that 60 day mark.
00:16:56.209 --> 00:17:01.889
You know, something will happen out of the blue, and you'll think about all the other things, you just ignore it, right?
00:17:01.969 --> 00:17:03.809
But it's it's a red flag.
00:17:04.210 --> 00:17:08.769
And um, and for me, red, you're not like looking for it.
00:17:08.930 --> 00:17:17.250
Before you, what I'd say a red flag is for you, because everyone's is different, is your standards, because you can't expect perfection from people, right?
00:17:17.410 --> 00:17:20.370
Okay, you have to have certain standards, right?
00:17:20.529 --> 00:17:27.730
Things that you want to deal with, like how I want to be spoken to, you know, um, how do I want a guy to open the door or not open the door?
00:17:27.809 --> 00:17:29.089
Do I care about those different things?
00:17:29.250 --> 00:17:37.569
I'm not big on those things, but um, you know, how how are you, you know, with that, whatever your standards are, no judgment, be real with yourself.
00:17:37.650 --> 00:17:38.609
Don't negotiate it.
00:17:38.690 --> 00:17:39.569
What are your standards?
00:17:39.730 --> 00:17:41.410
Do you want to date someone with kids?
00:17:41.650 --> 00:17:45.329
My requirement was I wanted to be with someone with kids because I had kids.
00:17:45.650 --> 00:17:48.609
Um, when I went away from that, it was a challenge.
00:17:48.690 --> 00:17:49.730
You know, it was a challenge.
00:17:49.809 --> 00:17:52.609
It was always a challenge when it came to me choosing them.
00:17:53.170 --> 00:17:55.089
So that is another timeline thing.
00:17:55.250 --> 00:18:01.170
Not saying that dating a person without kids is a bad thing, but that was just something that I needed, right?
00:18:01.569 --> 00:18:12.690
So when you keep making those adjustments, like, okay, well, I really like this person, but my huge, you know, deal breaker is kids or having kids or someone that has kids you don't want to date.
00:18:12.849 --> 00:18:22.609
And you go and do it, and then the things start coming up later, you know, that's when I'm not saying blame yourself, but that's when you have to be, like you said, very self-aware.
00:18:22.930 --> 00:18:24.369
Like, what is it I want?
00:18:24.529 --> 00:18:28.369
What do what do I want my everyday to feel like with this person?
00:18:28.609 --> 00:18:31.970
So, first, the most important thing is your everyday with yourself.
00:18:32.129 --> 00:18:34.210
How does every day with yourself feel like?
00:18:34.450 --> 00:18:41.009
And if you can really enjoy every day with yourself, then you'll understand how that other person fits in or how you fit into their life.
00:18:41.169 --> 00:18:43.569
And then you can start recognizing the red flags.
00:18:43.649 --> 00:18:46.210
Then you can start recognizing are we on the same timeline?
00:18:46.369 --> 00:18:47.089
Are we aligned?
00:18:47.169 --> 00:18:48.529
What are my routines every day?
00:18:48.690 --> 00:18:52.289
If they don't have a routine, nine times out of ten, they're gonna get you off of your routine.
00:18:52.849 --> 00:18:59.089
If you want someone, like Billy told me that it was very because I asked him, I said, What do you want out of a relationship?
00:18:59.250 --> 00:19:02.930
He says, Very important that my mate is healthy.
00:19:03.009 --> 00:19:07.889
Yeah, you know, I just really want her to be healthy, and I was like, Oh, this is great.
00:19:08.129 --> 00:19:24.849
I it's very important for my mate to be healthy because I lost my stepfather, and my mother was a young widow, and you know, and I saw the pain that it caused her, you know, and I just didn't want to deal with that pain.
00:19:24.930 --> 00:19:30.129
I'm like, oh my gosh, I don't want to, you know, watch the person I love suffer unnecessarily.
00:19:30.289 --> 00:19:38.529
Not saying that that won't happen, you know, but I want someone that's, hey, at our age, we have to, you know, we're living, but it's it's very important.
00:19:38.690 --> 00:19:39.409
You can't help.
00:19:39.490 --> 00:19:41.329
There's no such thing as wealth without health.
00:19:41.730 --> 00:19:44.049
You know, it's it's not to me, health is wealth.
00:19:44.129 --> 00:19:44.529
Yeah, right.
00:19:44.609 --> 00:19:45.889
And that's something that's big to me.
00:19:45.970 --> 00:19:48.289
And it doesn't have to be big to everyone else, right?
00:19:48.529 --> 00:19:55.009
But you don't want to be with someone where they don't work, you're working out six days a week and you look at them, they don't work out six times a year.
00:19:55.169 --> 00:19:56.930
You know what you're gonna start doing to that person?
00:19:57.089 --> 00:19:59.250
You're gonna start worrying about that person.
00:19:59.329 --> 00:20:03.809
Hey, trying to be their coach, let me bring you over here, bring you to my side, and that's gonna cause friction.
00:20:03.889 --> 00:20:06.369
And then they're gonna be like, gosh, why do you have to work out all the time?
00:20:06.450 --> 00:20:07.649
Why you gotta get up at four in the morning?
00:20:07.809 --> 00:20:08.690
Why do you gotta do that?
00:20:08.849 --> 00:20:10.049
And that can cause a problem.
00:20:10.129 --> 00:20:21.250
It's very rare that those things, and I'm not saying it never happens, but it's very rare that you meet people, you know, on such different dynamics that can cohabitate with each other.
00:20:21.490 --> 00:20:30.369
So not necessarily a red flag, but just a flag that you can say, hey, this doesn't align with what my future looks like.
00:20:30.690 --> 00:20:31.730
Yeah, yeah, I agree.
00:20:31.889 --> 00:20:39.169
Yeah, it's just not on the timeline because you know, uh, it makes a lot of sense if you're if you're a person that goes to the gym three, four times a week and the other person doesn't go at all.
00:20:39.409 --> 00:20:46.289
Not only will you try to pull them in, but and then when you when they don't, then you're gonna be frustrated, you're gonna get angry, you're gonna have resentment.
00:20:46.450 --> 00:20:48.369
Yeah, the resentment continues to build.
00:20:48.529 --> 00:20:58.129
Uh I even see in a relationship that tried to work like that, where then the woman was fat shaming the guy, yeah, and that would trigger more arguments, and so it was just turning into this cycle.
00:20:58.210 --> 00:20:58.690
But you're right.
00:20:58.849 --> 00:21:01.730
So, and everything is a little bit different, you know, different for everyone.
00:21:01.809 --> 00:21:10.529
Like, for example, you were saying, like, for you, when you were dating with kids, you wanted a man that had kids so he can relate, so he can understand that vibration, that frequency, right?
00:21:10.609 --> 00:21:21.169
That family nature, uh, versus someone who didn't have it, because then it would be like, you know, I got this other man's seed, and I gotta, you know, and you know, I know the mindset, right?
00:21:21.409 --> 00:21:29.889
And so, and then also you were on a date with someone who started a hypothetical, pessimistic argument, right?
00:21:30.129 --> 00:21:40.210
But now a lot of women would have been analyzing, well, I know he's starting this crazy scenario, but he got good money and a good job and benefits and a house and a nice car.
00:21:40.369 --> 00:21:40.609
Yeah.
00:21:40.769 --> 00:21:43.329
And they would have been like, I'm on work with this one.
00:21:43.490 --> 00:21:43.730
Yeah.
00:21:43.889 --> 00:21:44.129
Right?
00:21:44.289 --> 00:21:44.450
Yeah.
00:21:44.609 --> 00:21:46.849
And they've been in a very toxic relationship.
00:21:46.930 --> 00:21:50.769
Because if you're arguing on date number one, yeah, that's your future.
00:21:51.009 --> 00:21:51.250
Yeah.
00:21:51.649 --> 00:21:56.049
You're predicting the whole outcome of the whole thing, arguing all the time over stuff that didn't even happen yet.
00:21:56.289 --> 00:21:57.490
Didn't even happen yet.
00:21:57.889 --> 00:21:59.889
I think, like, really, sir.
00:22:00.609 --> 00:22:03.169
What if World War 10 happened tomorrow?
00:22:03.490 --> 00:22:04.369
I mean, come on.
00:22:04.609 --> 00:22:04.849
Right?
00:22:05.009 --> 00:22:05.169
Right.
00:22:05.329 --> 00:22:08.210
But there's people like that, very pessimistic people exist.
00:22:08.529 --> 00:22:19.009
I know a few of them, and they're always focused on the worst outcome, and they're always saying the worst horrible things in situations that aren't even close to developing.
00:22:19.089 --> 00:22:19.329
Yeah.
00:22:19.490 --> 00:22:19.730
Right?
00:22:19.889 --> 00:22:29.490
So, but again, the women, they would a lot of them, not all, but a lot of them would have been like, hmm, good job, good money, nice car, good house, stable income, benefits, I'm in.
00:22:29.730 --> 00:22:31.569
And then try to make it work, right?
00:22:31.730 --> 00:22:33.809
So, this is what we're talking about dating your time.
00:22:33.970 --> 00:22:41.009
And obviously, clearly, if you can now, if you can put up with the toxicity, if you're codependent on toxic arguments, but that's not healthy.
00:22:41.250 --> 00:22:41.649
You know?
00:22:41.889 --> 00:22:48.609
Over time, those arguments they create dis-ease in the body, and that dis-ease turns into disease.
00:22:48.690 --> 00:22:48.930
Yeah.
00:22:49.089 --> 00:22:50.609
And then you're pushing up daisies.
00:22:50.690 --> 00:22:50.769
Yeah.
00:22:53.009 --> 00:22:53.730
We're bars.
00:22:53.970 --> 00:22:55.889
You've been doing good too lately with your birds.
00:22:56.049 --> 00:22:58.690
I've been listening to all of his music.
00:22:59.009 --> 00:22:59.730
So sleep.
00:23:00.369 --> 00:23:00.849
With the enemy.
00:23:00.930 --> 00:23:01.169
Yeah.
00:23:01.409 --> 00:23:01.889
All right.
00:23:02.210 --> 00:23:11.169
So when I realized I was sleeping with the enemy, it was um, it was definitely sobering.
00:23:12.769 --> 00:23:20.210
You know, and I was with this person for a good amount of time.
00:23:20.529 --> 00:23:30.369
Um, and I looked back, we were together for years, and I ended up looking back on the progression of the toxicity.
00:23:30.930 --> 00:23:35.089
And I always made excuses like, oh, he was just having a bad day.
00:23:35.490 --> 00:23:36.849
You know, I was having a bad day.
00:23:36.930 --> 00:23:38.529
Maybe I could have responded better.
00:23:38.609 --> 00:23:38.769
Yeah.
00:23:39.009 --> 00:23:39.409
You know?
00:23:39.649 --> 00:23:41.490
Um blame ourselves.
00:23:41.970 --> 00:23:42.609
Yeah, yeah.
00:23:42.769 --> 00:23:45.009
I mean, definitely blame myself, you know.
00:23:45.089 --> 00:23:45.490
You know what?
00:23:45.569 --> 00:23:52.529
I just so I have this habit of um dancing in the morning to loud music.
00:23:52.690 --> 00:23:53.089
I know.
00:23:53.329 --> 00:24:04.369
And I warned you, I was like, I really like 80s, and I start, I want to get in a state, because I listened to Tony Robbins for years, and he always talks about manifesting from a state, right?
00:24:04.450 --> 00:24:09.649
So I want to always start my day with a state, a a state of mind, right?
00:24:09.889 --> 00:24:17.009
And so the easiest way to get there is music, music from a time when I was younger and and no problems and everything.
00:24:17.649 --> 00:24:18.129
Nostalgia.
00:24:18.450 --> 00:24:19.409
Yeah, nostalgia.
00:24:19.490 --> 00:24:19.970
I like that.
00:24:20.049 --> 00:24:21.649
And the 80s, all right.
00:24:21.730 --> 00:24:34.609
So I was listening, you know, to an 80s song, and it I really, really got into it, and um he got of it and I remember I'm dancing, I'm at line eye.
00:24:36.369 --> 00:24:39.329
Turn that F and S H I T on.
00:24:39.569 --> 00:24:41.089
Wow, there's out of the blue.
00:24:41.329 --> 00:24:42.849
I'm in the bathroom, you know.
00:24:43.089 --> 00:24:49.409
I know who gets up that early in the morning is happy.
00:24:50.769 --> 00:25:02.210
Like so I turn around and I'm like, and I remember that like uh that little girl in me, like scared, like it took me back to when I was a child, like you know what I mean?
00:25:02.289 --> 00:25:03.809
Oh, I'm in trouble, you know.
00:25:04.049 --> 00:25:06.769
And it you know, broke in me.
00:25:06.849 --> 00:25:15.329
So I immediately just like tried to defuse the situation, and I'm like, oh my little angry poo-bearer.
00:25:18.210 --> 00:25:20.210
It's okay, honey, dance with me.
00:25:20.369 --> 00:25:22.769
You know, he wasn't dancing with me.
00:25:26.049 --> 00:25:29.569
So yeah, so that was how I dealt with that situation.
00:25:29.730 --> 00:25:33.250
But before that, that was like, wait a minute, where did that come from?
00:25:33.329 --> 00:25:35.730
It was the first time he had lost his temper with me.
00:25:35.970 --> 00:25:43.889
And it was, you know, and then after that, needless to say, it got to so many times to where I wasn't responding like, oh, my little toothbig.
00:25:44.129 --> 00:25:46.129
I was responding like him, you know?
00:25:46.210 --> 00:25:46.289
Yeah.
00:25:46.450 --> 00:25:49.009
And next thing you know, we're at each other's throat.
00:25:49.169 --> 00:25:54.049
And then those situations, you have those blow-ups, and then you come back to go, oh, I'm sorry, and I'm this and the other thing.
00:25:54.210 --> 00:25:56.049
You have this string of toxicity, yeah.
00:25:56.369 --> 00:25:59.569
And that ends up being the dynamic of your relationship.
00:25:59.809 --> 00:25:59.970
Right.
00:26:00.369 --> 00:26:19.329
And so a major rip lag is if you you'll know, right, if the person's not on your timeline, if you're vibing super high and they interject something, and it takes you out of that state, like almost immediately, to so low that you feel crippled, scared, and that you have to protect yourself in any type of way.
00:26:19.490 --> 00:26:19.649
Yeah.
00:26:19.889 --> 00:26:33.649
And so, you know, and so anyway, so so needs to say, um, that that's where I was able to realize, you know, when it happened again, I was laying in a bed, and you know, and I looked up and I wanted to share with him some exciting news.
00:26:33.730 --> 00:26:35.250
And I was like, hey, how you doing?
00:26:35.409 --> 00:26:42.450
And you know, like we're not arguing anything, like, you know, annoyed, just like that annoyance.
00:26:42.529 --> 00:26:50.849
And I've seen it in other couples where you do see how they talk to each other, and it's like, you know, what you're you're annoying, like you're annoying me.
00:26:50.930 --> 00:26:55.809
And I'm like, it's not about longevity, it's about the quality of the relationship while you're in there.
00:26:56.129 --> 00:27:06.849
You want to be with someone that you're happy to see, you're happy to be around, that you really like them, you can observe them in their own little innocent space, dancing, like, wow, let me dance with her.
00:27:07.490 --> 00:27:17.889
Not look at her dancing again, you know, or look at him doing his podcast and talking to this person that he knows everything.
00:27:18.049 --> 00:27:21.250
And you want a person that actually likes you.
00:27:21.409 --> 00:27:25.889
And when I realized, wow, I'm I'm really sleeping next to the enemy.
00:27:26.049 --> 00:27:28.930
And that wasn't the first relationship like that, right?
00:27:29.009 --> 00:27:39.409
It was a series of them where everything was great until they weren't, and then I stayed and tried to hold on to the mask that was introduced to me in the beginning, you know, and I fought for that.
00:27:39.569 --> 00:27:45.009
I was negotiating that, like, oh, let's do this, let's let's do that, or maybe I can be that.
00:27:45.089 --> 00:27:47.089
Or in some cases, I became them.
00:27:47.569 --> 00:27:49.009
I became the angry person.
00:27:49.169 --> 00:28:05.569
I became the fighting, and I had um someone called it reactive abuse that a lot of um people with different personality disorders will start triggering in you, and and then next thing you know, you're reacting in a way that's not in alignment of who you truly are.
00:28:05.649 --> 00:28:05.970
Yeah.
00:28:06.129 --> 00:28:08.049
And so it's and then they blame you.
00:28:08.129 --> 00:28:15.409
See what you did, see how you reacted, and they focus more on the reaction than they do the action that caused your reaction.
00:28:15.490 --> 00:28:20.289
And so you're now you're feeling that guilt, and you know, you get shame again, you know.
00:28:20.450 --> 00:28:35.009
And then you're like, I found myself in constant like relationships to where I'm trying to, I would apologize to them for being mad at them.
00:28:35.250 --> 00:28:36.049
Man, come on.
00:28:36.210 --> 00:28:37.409
Like, I would be mad at them.
00:28:38.129 --> 00:28:41.089
Next thing you know, I'm about they're mad at me for being mad at them.
00:28:41.169 --> 00:28:41.649
And you're apologizing.
00:28:41.809 --> 00:28:43.009
And then now I'm apologizing.
00:28:43.089 --> 00:28:43.490
Oh God.
00:28:43.730 --> 00:28:47.169
I'm like, oh my God, this is what's happening.
00:28:47.329 --> 00:28:49.730
So that's how you know you're sleeping with the enemy.
00:28:49.889 --> 00:28:50.210
Yeah.
00:28:50.450 --> 00:28:50.930
Facts.
00:28:51.490 --> 00:28:52.210
Facts.
00:28:52.690 --> 00:28:53.490
Goodness.
00:28:54.129 --> 00:28:56.210
It's like you just read my whole past history.
00:28:56.450 --> 00:28:57.009
Oh, yeah.
00:28:57.169 --> 00:28:59.089
You know, it's uh because we're in the same timeline.
00:28:59.169 --> 00:28:59.649
We're in the same time.
00:28:59.809 --> 00:29:00.529
That's what I was going through.
00:29:00.849 --> 00:29:01.329
Exactly.
00:29:01.490 --> 00:29:14.529
Isn't it interesting how we consistently, because I did the same thing, I consistently put myself in similar situations, with the exception of maybe one person, um, where um, you know, that was happening, right?
00:29:14.690 --> 00:29:17.809
And it's this um it's this anger.
00:29:17.889 --> 00:29:18.049
Yeah.
00:29:18.210 --> 00:29:22.450
And sometimes it almost seems like forced anger or fake anger.
00:29:22.609 --> 00:29:28.369
Um, not really under not I'm not, I wasn't really able to discern whether it was real or fake at some time, sometimes, right?
00:29:28.529 --> 00:29:28.690
Yeah.
00:29:28.849 --> 00:29:31.169
And then it was almost as if to trigger me.
00:29:31.329 --> 00:29:31.649
Yeah.
00:29:32.129 --> 00:29:38.129
And then to focus on the trigger response or the reaction versus what caused it, just like you said.
00:29:38.289 --> 00:29:38.450
Yeah.
00:29:38.690 --> 00:29:38.930
Right?
00:29:39.089 --> 00:29:42.690
It's like, are they did they go to some kind of trigger university?
00:29:43.089 --> 00:29:44.049
Is there a university?
00:29:44.129 --> 00:29:49.409
Is there a PhD in this that I didn't I didn't know about this particular class or course that exists?
00:29:49.730 --> 00:29:52.609
But they got they went to this course, right?
00:29:52.930 --> 00:29:55.009
And they mastered this course.
00:29:55.490 --> 00:30:04.369
Um, and the thing that I really um struggle with is trying to understand why.
00:30:04.609 --> 00:30:10.049
Like, you know, like it, like, why even come with the mask?
00:30:10.210 --> 00:30:12.690
Why get into the relationship?
00:30:13.009 --> 00:30:14.930
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00:30:15.169 --> 00:30:24.609
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00:30:24.849 --> 00:30:29.089
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00:30:43.730 --> 00:30:53.409
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00:30:53.649 --> 00:31:05.889
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00:31:06.049 --> 00:31:15.889
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00:31:45.329 --> 00:31:57.329
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00:31:57.490 --> 00:31:59.730
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00:32:03.809 --> 00:32:05.730
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00:32:07.089 --> 00:32:10.609
The only question is, will you be wearing yours?
00:32:11.250 --> 00:32:12.930
See you at the ball.
00:32:13.809 --> 00:32:16.849
Why become so cruel on a consistent basis?
00:32:16.930 --> 00:32:21.730
You know, the pulling away and the attitudes and the embarrassing in public and things like that.
00:32:21.889 --> 00:32:32.369
And then you I'm always just trying to cover it up, you know, and and over giving over out overdoing the accolades to make that person feel whole because I thought they just had a hole in themselves or whatever, you know?
00:32:32.450 --> 00:32:32.769
Yeah.
00:32:32.930 --> 00:32:34.930
And it still wasn't ever enough, right?
00:32:35.089 --> 00:32:38.049
And no matter what you did, the person was always jealous.
00:32:38.529 --> 00:32:42.049
I've had exes, this is plural.
00:32:42.210 --> 00:32:44.849
I've had exes tell me that they were jealous of me.
00:32:45.009 --> 00:32:45.250
Yeah.
00:32:45.490 --> 00:32:46.210
To my face.
00:32:46.450 --> 00:32:47.009
Yeah.
00:32:47.250 --> 00:32:50.129
And I'm going, how could you be jealous of me?
00:32:50.289 --> 00:32:51.649
Whatever I have, you have.
00:32:51.809 --> 00:32:52.049
Yeah.
00:32:52.289 --> 00:32:54.369
If I'm successful, you're successful.
00:32:54.690 --> 00:32:58.769
One ex was um trying to trying to blow up in one field, right?
00:32:58.849 --> 00:33:00.609
In one genre of work.
00:33:00.930 --> 00:33:03.089
And I wasn't even in that field of work yet.
00:33:03.250 --> 00:33:04.129
This was music.
00:33:04.769 --> 00:33:07.009
2015, I started producing music.
00:33:07.169 --> 00:33:09.409
A lot of people don't know I produced music.
00:33:09.569 --> 00:33:11.889
Um, and I just came out of nowhere.
00:33:12.049 --> 00:33:20.049
And I started producing a lot of music, and some of them became hits, you know, and some of them actually made it even to billboard, you know.
00:33:20.210 --> 00:33:23.970
And so my songs were playing all over the place.
00:33:24.049 --> 00:33:31.730
And so, in some way, I had kind of superseded or exceled past this person, not as a performer on stage, but still it's in music, right?
00:33:31.889 --> 00:33:43.569
Uh, and then I tried to take this person along with me and try to put this person in music and try to boost them up and give them accolades and get their first album out and make them a music video and all this stuff to say, hey, come with me.
00:33:43.649 --> 00:33:45.490
You can, you know, it's just we're together, it's a team.
00:33:45.649 --> 00:33:46.769
It still wasn't good enough.
00:33:47.089 --> 00:33:53.009
So there was always this animosity, this envy, this um this jealousy that was just there, right?
00:33:53.169 --> 00:33:55.569
And I was just like, I can't understand.
00:33:55.649 --> 00:33:57.409
I couldn't wrap my mind around it.
00:33:57.569 --> 00:34:03.169
And then I faced it again um, you know, with with someone else, and there was um another jealousy issue.
00:34:03.250 --> 00:34:18.369
Every accolade I got everything that I did, every, you know, every every every time somebody would uh recognize me, want a photo with me, uh, autograph or whatever, it was always I knew later on that day I was gonna have to deal with a very nasty attitude.
00:34:18.450 --> 00:34:18.690
Yeah.
00:34:18.849 --> 00:34:20.690
Uh, and it was just this jealousy thing.
00:34:20.769 --> 00:34:24.289
And so you're right, you could be sleeping with an enemy, you know.
00:34:24.369 --> 00:34:30.769
I faced before, and some men will never talk about this, men are victims of domestic abuse.
00:34:31.329 --> 00:34:31.650
Yeah.
00:34:32.210 --> 00:34:35.010
Spiritually, mentally, and physically.
00:34:35.329 --> 00:34:37.329
And I'm a victim of all three.
00:34:37.730 --> 00:34:42.690
And the reason why men won't talk about that is because it's very emasculating, or we feel like it's emasculating.
00:34:42.769 --> 00:34:47.090
But I'm here to say it because I think a lot of guys out there, just as big as me.
00:34:47.170 --> 00:34:47.730
I'm a big dude.
00:34:47.809 --> 00:34:50.450
I'm 230 pounds right now, six foot four.
00:34:50.690 --> 00:34:51.409
Yes, you are.
00:34:51.570 --> 00:34:52.210
Right.
00:34:55.650 --> 00:34:56.369
Continue.
00:34:56.690 --> 00:34:57.409
Sorry.
00:34:57.809 --> 00:35:00.130
So you keep making it.
00:35:00.210 --> 00:35:01.329
I'm sorry, this is a touching moment.
00:35:01.889 --> 00:35:09.010
But the point that the point that I'm making here is like I would be able, I mean, one blow, I destroy this person.
00:35:09.250 --> 00:35:09.810
One blow.
00:35:09.890 --> 00:35:10.530
I mean, you know.
00:35:10.690 --> 00:35:12.370
And so it takes a lot of restraint.
00:35:12.530 --> 00:35:16.610
And so because we show that restraint, even that restraint is taken for granted.
00:35:16.690 --> 00:35:17.090
Yeah.
00:35:17.250 --> 00:35:18.130
You know what I'm saying?
00:35:18.289 --> 00:35:25.410
To the point where um this person thinks they can continue on and it even escalates from that, that abuse even escalates.
00:35:25.650 --> 00:35:29.090
And then you kind of you kind of suffer alone, right?
00:35:29.330 --> 00:35:37.170
Because this is something that's so embarrassing and so um incredible that you you don't really want to share with many people.
00:35:37.650 --> 00:35:47.090
There's a small amount of people that know about it, you know, um, and and have witnessed it, but you try to keep it because it's like it just destroys your ego, right?
00:35:47.170 --> 00:35:48.930
It makes you feel less of a man.
00:35:49.010 --> 00:35:49.330
Yeah.
00:35:49.490 --> 00:36:00.769
Um, but men need to understand out there, well, women need to understand, and men need to understand, it's okay to talk about and express that, hey, I've been a victim of domestic violence, domestic abuse.
00:36:01.010 --> 00:36:03.170
There's three types that I consider in a category.
00:36:03.250 --> 00:36:10.850
There might be more, but those are the three that I had experienced: spiritual welfare, psychological warfare, and physical attack.
00:36:11.090 --> 00:36:18.050
Um and, you know, we need understanding, we need, we need help sometimes, right?
00:36:18.530 --> 00:36:22.370
Some of these things have driven men into suicide and many other things.
00:36:22.690 --> 00:36:23.730
Men love hard.
00:36:23.890 --> 00:36:31.650
A good man, a good man will love hard, and a good man will stay as long as he possibly can, even in some of the worst conditions.
00:36:31.890 --> 00:36:37.890
I've seen men stay through being cheated on, being dogged out, being abused, and everything else, right?
00:36:38.050 --> 00:36:40.289
I've tried to stay as long as I can.
00:36:40.370 --> 00:36:43.090
I was in a one, I was in a 20-year relationship one time.
00:36:43.250 --> 00:36:46.769
And so people out there saying I'm a jigglo, no, 20 years.
00:36:47.090 --> 00:36:48.769
I did a 20-year sentence.
00:36:49.090 --> 00:36:54.610
You know, and so but the point I'm making is the enemy could be there.
00:36:54.690 --> 00:37:08.690
And if you are so caught up that you become codependent on that toxicity and you become codependent on the abuse, it can lure you into thinking you need you need to stay.
00:37:08.850 --> 00:37:19.730
But the fact of the matter is, for our own personal sanctity, our own health, our own psychological well-being, there are some situations where you need to find the strength and the courage to walk away.
00:37:19.890 --> 00:37:20.289
Yeah.
00:37:20.530 --> 00:37:25.570
And so, you know, I've been in some relationships where I found the courage to be able to do that.
00:37:25.730 --> 00:37:28.850
The only problem was I got back with more enemies again.
00:37:29.170 --> 00:37:29.490
Yeah.
00:37:29.730 --> 00:37:30.050
You know?
00:37:30.289 --> 00:37:34.370
Well, that's why we're doing the date your timeline, because you're not gonna know in the beginning.
00:37:34.450 --> 00:37:35.410
Yeah, you know.
00:37:35.570 --> 00:37:41.010
Um you're not gonna, you're not gonna know like right away, but there's certain things you can figure out.
00:37:41.170 --> 00:37:49.650
Like, you know, um, I I recalled there was another situation, and I'm talking about, oh my gosh, it was great.
00:37:49.730 --> 00:37:51.490
This we were in alignment.
00:37:51.650 --> 00:37:55.410
I thought, you know, and I'm like, I think I'm gonna do this, you know.
00:37:55.570 --> 00:37:59.090
Uh, you know, we had been together a couple months, no problems.
00:37:59.490 --> 00:38:02.289
And then out of the blue, we weren't even arguing.
00:38:02.450 --> 00:38:16.850
Um, and they were speaking, and I didn't, I interjected, I interrupted, you know, um, interjected, and the response I got was a complete like attack.
00:38:16.930 --> 00:38:37.970
Like, how dare you interrupt me, you know, and it was so bad, and they and we were on a FaceTime, and the person like came towards me on the phone, and I looked at the phone and he was so angry, and it was so out of the blue, I just started laughing.
00:38:38.050 --> 00:38:38.769
I'm like, okay.
00:38:42.450 --> 00:38:48.450
So, but I'm on FaceTime, so because he was like, you like he's like walking towards me.
00:38:48.690 --> 00:38:49.490
I was like, What are you gonna do?
00:38:49.650 --> 00:38:50.450
Come through the phone, you know.
00:38:52.050 --> 00:39:00.450
Right, you're gonna teleport, you know, like but I was like, I'm I was like, you know what?
00:39:00.850 --> 00:39:01.650
I'm good.
00:39:01.730 --> 00:39:05.730
You know, I'm sorry I had a bad day, you know, it wasn't that wasn't me.
00:39:05.810 --> 00:39:10.850
And my problem, the problem that I had with it was that we weren't even arguing.
00:39:11.010 --> 00:39:14.850
We were having a simple conversation, and I may have interjected.
00:39:14.930 --> 00:39:24.450
And if you're that upset that you're walking towards the phone and we're miles away, thousands of miles away from each other, what could have happened in front of me?
00:39:24.769 --> 00:39:27.090
And right there, I was done.
00:39:27.330 --> 00:39:28.610
Like that's all it took.
00:39:28.690 --> 00:39:29.570
And he was so surprised.
00:39:29.810 --> 00:39:33.090
He was like, Oh my gosh, what are you a you know, passenger princess?
00:39:33.170 --> 00:39:35.970
You can't take me and yelled at, and I'm like, you know what?
00:39:36.210 --> 00:39:42.130
No, I don't want anyone that can look at me and yell at me for absolutely no reason.
00:39:42.769 --> 00:39:53.410
Like we can, I I can even understand, like, if you know, you know, emotions are up, even that, you know, you might, I'm not saying you're never gonna yell in a relationship or raise your voice, but like that.
00:39:53.730 --> 00:39:54.769
Randomly just out of the blue.
00:39:55.010 --> 00:39:58.450
Randomly out of the blue, like you're reprimanding me like a child or something.
00:39:58.610 --> 00:40:04.769
And it was crazy because that's when I was like, oh my God, I keep meeting these overly aggressive people.
00:40:04.850 --> 00:40:06.530
Like, why do they keep showing up?
00:40:07.090 --> 00:40:10.450
And I'm like, what timeline, what frequency am I on?
00:40:10.610 --> 00:40:13.890
And what I realized was they're always gonna show up.
00:40:14.050 --> 00:40:16.370
When you're a light, you're gonna attract everything.
00:40:16.930 --> 00:40:28.690
And so what we would do, and what I would do, and people like myself or you that have been in this situation, those of you that have been in this situation, you're not, it's not that you're attracting the same person, you're track, you're attracting all people.
00:40:29.170 --> 00:40:31.090
You just have to turn on your filters.
00:40:31.410 --> 00:40:33.570
And so I got to filtering them out.
00:40:33.810 --> 00:40:38.530
I'm like, yep, I don't care how much time I put into this, I don't care what it is, I'm out immediately.
00:40:38.690 --> 00:40:44.370
When my deal breaker's there, that you yell at me to that degree, I am, I am out of there.
00:40:44.530 --> 00:40:46.130
We have nothing else to talk about.
00:40:46.289 --> 00:40:51.010
I'm not gonna be sitting here trying to go to counseling with you so you can control your anger management.
00:40:51.250 --> 00:40:52.050
I'm out.
00:40:52.210 --> 00:40:53.170
That's not for me.
00:40:53.250 --> 00:40:54.690
I'm done with that timeline.
00:40:54.850 --> 00:41:02.530
And then I ended up being with someone else that had another uh vice, end up being an alcoholic, but was the most amazing person.
00:41:02.610 --> 00:41:03.650
We never argued not once.
00:41:03.730 --> 00:41:06.450
This was the most loving, caring person you could ever meet.
00:41:06.610 --> 00:41:09.730
Come to find out they're an alcoholic after a few months of being with them.
00:41:09.810 --> 00:41:10.930
I said, you know what?
00:41:11.090 --> 00:41:13.250
No matter how great it looks, I'm out.
00:41:13.410 --> 00:41:17.010
And that's what you have to do when it shows up, because it'll show up because it's familiar, right?
00:41:17.170 --> 00:41:18.130
Subconsciously.
00:41:18.289 --> 00:41:30.450
But when you see those signs that are similar, that keep showing up, those patterns, I would say, that show up in your life with different people and different bodies, then you decide to know.
00:41:30.530 --> 00:41:34.530
Because you're telling the universe, okay, I'm tired of being on this time, I'm tired of this reality.
00:41:34.690 --> 00:41:36.050
Okay, so you get that out of there.
00:41:36.130 --> 00:41:40.130
And then you start focusing, okay, what is your what are your goals in life?
00:41:40.530 --> 00:41:41.490
Who are you in life?
00:41:41.650 --> 00:41:49.570
And you know, and then you'll start seeing those things and merge because you can meet people that are you're not alignment that that have the same goals and focus as you.
00:41:49.890 --> 00:41:54.450
But you have to, you know, really, like I said, know yourself, assess the situation.
00:41:54.690 --> 00:41:59.570
Now, another thing I wanted to talk about, just to touch on what you said.
00:41:59.810 --> 00:42:07.330
You asked a question, and a lot of people have this question is how can a person be so cruel?
00:42:07.890 --> 00:42:17.170
How can a person intentionally seek out someone and just pretend just to finally get them and just be deplorable?
00:42:17.330 --> 00:42:26.930
Yeah, you know, like you know, just because you know you, I don't know you, I know me, but you know you have these problems, you know you have these addictions, you know you have these things.
00:42:27.090 --> 00:42:32.690
You're gonna seek out someone that doesn't even drink alcohol, and you know that you're turning up nightly, you know?
00:42:32.769 --> 00:42:32.930
Yeah.
00:42:33.250 --> 00:42:35.250
So why do you seek those people?
00:42:35.330 --> 00:42:38.289
Why do you and then I was all I had those questions too.
00:42:38.769 --> 00:42:53.570
And then I was talking to uh a client one day, and she said that she was, she was a um, I think it was a she was a um uh uh detective.
00:42:53.970 --> 00:42:59.890
And it was her first day on the, you know, her first day on the um job.
00:43:00.050 --> 00:43:05.890
And she was with another detective, and they found somebody that had gone in and like murdered their whole family.
00:43:06.050 --> 00:43:07.890
It was really horrific, right?
00:43:08.130 --> 00:43:12.930
And she because she was so like how she kept asking the detective, how could someone do this?
00:43:13.090 --> 00:43:14.050
How could someone do this?
00:43:14.210 --> 00:43:20.050
And he looked at her and said, the day that you understand is the day you become them.
00:43:20.930 --> 00:43:22.850
So it's not for you to keep asking why.
00:43:23.250 --> 00:43:27.490
It's not for you to keep asking or trying to figure out why these people are this way.
00:43:27.650 --> 00:43:28.930
Why did they come into my life?
00:43:29.090 --> 00:43:30.130
Why did these things happen?
00:43:30.289 --> 00:43:31.330
Why did they destroy my life?
00:43:31.490 --> 00:43:33.410
Why did they why are they doing these things to me?
00:43:33.570 --> 00:43:35.330
You're not at that's not for you to ask.
00:43:35.890 --> 00:43:39.410
It's for you to say, thank you, that I'm aware.
00:43:39.570 --> 00:43:40.769
Yeah, that I see it.
00:43:41.090 --> 00:43:54.289
And thank you, God, for another day to choose different, choose a different person, even if you can't in that situation and at that moment start preparing your exit, whatever that looks like for you.
00:43:54.530 --> 00:43:57.890
But recognize who's the enemy and who's for you.
00:43:57.970 --> 00:44:04.370
And I can guarantee you the person that's insulting you, the person that every time you turn around, nothing you do is good enough.
00:44:04.610 --> 00:44:14.850
No matter how much you give, no matter how much you fight, no matter how much you negotiate, no matter how many times you go to therapy, no matter how many times you hug, you hold, you give, it's not good enough.
00:44:15.650 --> 00:44:17.810
That is not the person for you.
00:44:18.050 --> 00:44:28.930
That is literally an enemy, which is an enemy to your success, an enemy of your love, an enemy of your light, an enemy of your health, an enemy of your future.
00:44:29.250 --> 00:44:38.690
And looking at that person and looking at them and understanding when you're in love, love and not limerence, you have to look up limerence, okay?
00:44:38.769 --> 00:44:44.370
Because that is not love, that is attachment and excitement and recognizing.
00:44:44.450 --> 00:44:48.450
Because remember, you're in a relationship and you'll feel like I can't live without this person.
00:44:48.610 --> 00:44:52.850
Remember that they they say that being in love is equivalent to being addicted to cocaine.
00:44:53.170 --> 00:44:57.170
It creates the same chemical in your brain and addiction to that other person.
00:44:57.490 --> 00:44:59.170
So it's not always love.
00:44:59.250 --> 00:45:01.890
Love is a The highest vibration we operate from.
00:45:02.130 --> 00:45:06.450
It's very important to be in love and find love and fall in love because that's where you manifest from.
00:45:06.530 --> 00:45:07.810
That's where we create from.
00:45:08.050 --> 00:45:09.730
And we should be in love.
00:45:09.890 --> 00:45:17.730
But when you're with someone and it's a pattern, a pattern of toxicity over and over again, that's when you know this isn't it.
00:45:18.289 --> 00:45:19.330
It's it's time to get out.
00:45:19.490 --> 00:45:20.610
I'm sleeping with the enemy.
00:45:20.850 --> 00:45:20.930
Right.
00:45:21.090 --> 00:45:21.730
It's not happening.
00:45:22.130 --> 00:45:22.930
Yeah, facts.
00:45:23.570 --> 00:45:24.450
Absolute facts.
00:45:24.690 --> 00:45:32.530
That when you begin to see that mask crack, yeah, you gotta recognize that's the beginning of the mask completely disintegrating.
00:45:32.690 --> 00:45:32.930
Yeah.
00:45:33.090 --> 00:45:36.930
You know, and uh it's unfortunate because we put so much energy into these relationships.
00:45:37.090 --> 00:45:37.250
Yeah.
00:45:37.410 --> 00:45:43.250
And when you put energy and effort in, you feel like you're giving up on all that you wasted time.
00:45:43.410 --> 00:45:43.730
Yeah.
00:45:43.970 --> 00:45:46.130
But you gotta realize you're gonna waste more time.
00:45:46.450 --> 00:45:46.930
More time.
00:45:47.250 --> 00:45:47.490
Right?
00:45:47.650 --> 00:45:47.890
Yeah.
00:45:48.050 --> 00:45:54.289
So you can stay in and you gotta say, well, look, it's only been, I don't know, six months, a year.
00:45:54.610 --> 00:45:59.330
Okay, but if I keep fighting for this, it's gonna be five, ten years of this.
00:45:59.650 --> 00:46:00.210
Ten years.
00:46:00.370 --> 00:46:00.850
Yeah.
00:46:01.090 --> 00:46:03.170
And so sometimes you just gotta cut your losses.
00:46:03.250 --> 00:46:10.530
So you gotta know when to hold them, know when to hold them, know when to walk away, and know when to run.
00:46:10.930 --> 00:46:15.410
You better count your money when you're sitting at the table.
00:46:15.730 --> 00:46:20.210
There'll be time enough for counting when the dealing's done.
00:46:25.490 --> 00:46:26.370
Anyway.
00:46:28.450 --> 00:46:29.490
That's for the old heads.
00:46:29.570 --> 00:46:30.289
They know what a power is.
00:46:32.370 --> 00:46:33.650
Super old.
00:46:35.410 --> 00:46:37.010
That's for the grandparents in the house.
00:46:37.250 --> 00:46:38.610
For the grandparents in the house.
00:46:38.930 --> 00:46:39.250
Okay.
00:46:39.730 --> 00:46:44.530
And look, grandparents, I don't care how old you are, I don't care what it is, you can still find love.
00:46:44.690 --> 00:46:45.730
It does not matter.
00:46:45.890 --> 00:46:48.210
Everything you're searching for is searching for you.
00:46:48.610 --> 00:46:52.370
Okay, let's make this world a better place and start loving each other again.
00:46:52.610 --> 00:46:53.570
Yeah, for real.
00:46:53.730 --> 00:46:54.289
Absolutely.
00:46:54.530 --> 00:47:01.250
Yeah, you know, and I I like what you said about, you know, the moment you the moment you begin to ruminate too much on the why.
00:47:01.490 --> 00:47:01.810
Yeah.
00:47:02.050 --> 00:47:08.450
You know, then you kind of take on that energy of the why and you become obsessed with that.
00:47:08.530 --> 00:47:08.690
Yeah.
00:47:08.850 --> 00:47:13.010
And it can take you over that same dark energy, that same low frequency and vibration.
00:47:13.090 --> 00:47:16.930
It can kind of transform you because you're trying to understand their energy.
00:47:17.010 --> 00:47:19.570
And the only way to understand something is to get to its level.
00:47:19.730 --> 00:47:20.210
Yeah.
00:47:20.530 --> 00:47:21.010
Right?
00:47:21.250 --> 00:47:24.050
And so you can ask it, but then just release it.
00:47:24.210 --> 00:47:26.210
Because you'll never get it.
00:47:26.370 --> 00:47:28.450
You'll never fully understand because you're not that.
00:47:28.610 --> 00:47:28.850
Not that.
00:47:29.250 --> 00:47:30.530
And that wasn't your timeline.
00:47:30.690 --> 00:47:31.010
Yeah.
00:47:31.250 --> 00:47:35.410
And so, you know, it's an it's uh such an important thing, you know.
00:47:35.570 --> 00:47:43.250
Um, there are some people that will be angry uh if your, you know, if your income is higher than theirs.
00:47:43.410 --> 00:47:43.730
Yeah.
00:47:43.970 --> 00:47:44.289
Right?
00:47:44.450 --> 00:47:45.170
That will happen.
00:47:45.330 --> 00:47:46.690
And and it happens vice versa.
00:47:46.850 --> 00:47:48.690
Man, woman, woman, man, doesn't really matter.
00:47:48.850 --> 00:47:49.250
Yeah.
00:47:49.410 --> 00:47:51.730
And some people see you as competition.
00:47:51.970 --> 00:47:52.289
Yeah.
00:47:52.450 --> 00:48:00.530
There are relationships where the spouse or the partner is in competition instead of collaboration, which doesn't make any sense.
00:48:00.930 --> 00:48:01.650
No sense.
00:48:01.890 --> 00:48:02.289
Right?
00:48:02.530 --> 00:48:10.610
And so I know that women, you know, making stronger income than um their partner, it intimidates them in some kind of weird way.
00:48:10.769 --> 00:48:11.090
Yeah.
00:48:11.250 --> 00:48:12.210
Hell, free me.
00:48:12.289 --> 00:48:13.170
I don't give a damn.
00:48:15.250 --> 00:48:17.650
Oh no, I want to say this and that.
00:48:18.130 --> 00:48:19.890
It is, yeah, it is a problem.
00:48:20.130 --> 00:48:20.690
It's a problem.
00:48:21.010 --> 00:48:23.410
You know, that brings me to one point.
00:48:23.570 --> 00:48:25.890
I don't, oh my gosh, I have this.
00:48:26.210 --> 00:48:28.050
So I I dated this guy.
00:48:28.130 --> 00:48:29.570
I was, I didn't date this guy.
00:48:29.810 --> 00:48:31.010
Okay, this one guy.
00:48:31.090 --> 00:48:38.850
And I'm saying this so people can kind of share the stories, you know, um, so people can kind of understand when you're not in alignment with the person.
00:48:39.010 --> 00:48:51.250
I had a gentleman find out how much I made, and it was a couple gentlemen, but this particular story, a gentleman found out how much I made, and he was like, I don't want to date a woman that makes more than me, you know?
00:48:51.330 --> 00:48:52.850
And I was like, okay, well, how much do you make?
00:48:52.930 --> 00:48:55.250
And he's like, I make$150,000 a year.
00:48:55.570 --> 00:48:57.010
And I was like, okay.
00:48:57.250 --> 00:48:59.250
And he was, I was like, well, why not?
00:48:59.410 --> 00:49:02.690
He was like, because I want to be the provider for our family.
00:49:02.930 --> 00:49:06.930
I want to be the one that, you know, causes shots in the house.
00:49:07.090 --> 00:49:10.210
And I was like, well, I was like, but money you think causes shots?
00:49:10.289 --> 00:49:14.289
And he was like, I'm just saying I'm supposed to be the person everyone lean leans on.
00:49:14.450 --> 00:49:17.250
So I thought it was, you know, admirable, right?
00:49:17.330 --> 00:49:19.490
So I was like, well, let's think of it a different way.
00:49:19.650 --> 00:49:23.490
I was like, okay, let's say you have an house, uh, she's a housewife, you have the kids, everything.
00:49:23.650 --> 00:49:27.810
And I'm assuming she's gonna be running a household, taking the kids to the PTO meetings and things like that.
00:49:27.890 --> 00:49:29.490
And he's like, Yeah, she's gonna handle all that.
00:49:29.730 --> 00:49:32.289
I was right, and you want her to, what other attributes?
00:49:32.370 --> 00:49:33.730
He's like, Well, I want her to be able to cook.
00:49:33.810 --> 00:49:35.730
And I was like, Yeah, you want her to be able to cook?
00:49:35.810 --> 00:49:36.370
Okay, great.
00:49:36.530 --> 00:49:39.490
I was like, and let's probably be really good at baking, right?
00:49:39.570 --> 00:49:45.970
And he's like, Yeah, he goes, Oh yeah, she definitely has to be really good at baking pound cake in particular.
00:49:46.130 --> 00:49:47.010
And I was like, okay.
00:49:47.170 --> 00:49:55.010
I was like, so let's say she's going to these PTO meetings and she's providing these, let's say, cookies, all right, these amazing cookies.
00:49:55.250 --> 00:50:01.730
And one day, you know, um, the one of the husbands of the wives are there and they try these cookies.
00:50:01.890 --> 00:50:12.370
And he's uh a uh department head at hostess, and he falls in love with these cookies, and she comes back and she's like they want to buy my recipe.
00:50:13.010 --> 00:50:15.970
And this recipe is worth two and a half million dollars.
00:50:16.769 --> 00:50:17.730
What do you do then?
00:50:17.970 --> 00:50:20.930
Yeah, and he's like, What do you mean?
00:50:21.010 --> 00:50:24.289
I didn't what I don't I don't what are you talking about?
00:50:24.370 --> 00:50:25.010
That would never happen.
00:50:25.090 --> 00:50:26.050
I'm like, but it could.
00:50:26.210 --> 00:50:32.530
I said, and the reason it could is because relationship and marriage is not about roles, okay?
00:50:33.090 --> 00:50:35.650
Our income comes from source, okay.
00:50:35.730 --> 00:50:40.289
And we understand that we go to source provides, right?
00:50:40.530 --> 00:50:45.810
If source provides and you become one with something, source is gonna find the easiest path of what your dreams are.
00:50:45.890 --> 00:50:48.050
And if it's through your mate, then it's gonna come through your mate.
00:50:48.210 --> 00:50:58.370
If it comes through you because it's for your whole family, if you say, I want my family to be this, this may not come through you, it may come through your wife, it may come through your wife's cookies, and you have to be open to that.
00:50:58.530 --> 00:51:01.010
Yeah, you know, you don't have to be, but what do you do then?
00:51:01.170 --> 00:51:06.450
Is the dynamic of your relationship gonna change because now she's the hostess with the most?
00:51:08.930 --> 00:51:12.690
You know, like what do you I just have my own little dad joke.
00:51:12.850 --> 00:51:13.170
Oh, yeah.
00:51:13.410 --> 00:51:19.890
And so anyway, so I'm just saying, and and so you know, he got quiet and he was like, you know, that's really something to think about.
00:51:20.130 --> 00:51:28.850
And so, and that's how I look at us as a whole, as humans, and where we're evolving to, and the difference, relationships are now today more partnerships than roles.
00:51:29.170 --> 00:51:33.090
And it's okay to, you know, be at home and do there's nothing wrong.
00:51:33.250 --> 00:51:43.250
We all have, you know, our contribution, but really to be honest with you, abundance is from source, you know, and being open to that and not the roles and all those things.
00:51:43.330 --> 00:51:48.130
And like you said, and then when you understand that you're not jealous, you're like, oh, this is what our household brought in.
00:51:48.370 --> 00:51:48.690
Exactly.
00:51:48.850 --> 00:51:49.090
You know?
00:51:49.330 --> 00:51:50.210
Yeah, exactly.
00:51:50.450 --> 00:51:59.410
I think when guys do that, uh, or even when women do that, if you know, because some women, the guy, some women, you know, don't want the guy to make more than them.
00:51:59.490 --> 00:52:00.930
I was in a situation like that.
00:52:01.090 --> 00:52:01.490
Yeah.
00:52:01.730 --> 00:52:04.850
Um, it has to do with power and control.
00:52:05.650 --> 00:52:05.970
Yeah.
00:52:06.210 --> 00:52:14.690
They kind of feel like, okay, you know, if you if you have kids, right, and you you buy your kids cell phones and they're on your plan, if they act up, you turn their phones off as a punishment.
00:52:14.850 --> 00:52:15.170
Yeah.
00:52:15.330 --> 00:52:17.010
They don't want to get their phones turned off.
00:52:17.410 --> 00:52:19.250
They want to be the one turning off the phone.
00:52:19.570 --> 00:52:23.970
I paid for this house, I did this, I did that, me, me, me, you know, that kind of energy.
00:52:24.289 --> 00:52:27.010
And so it comes down to more, it's not really the money.
00:52:27.090 --> 00:52:33.410
It's like, well, if this person is making X amount of money, then they're perceiving that person has more power over me.
00:52:33.810 --> 00:52:37.410
And I don't want this person to have that power over me.
00:52:37.650 --> 00:52:43.970
So I want to make more than them so I can tell them what to do and what's gonna happen, what ain't gonna happen in my house, you know, that kind of thing.
00:52:44.130 --> 00:52:45.410
That's really what it boils down to.
00:52:45.570 --> 00:52:46.769
Again, that's not your timeline.
00:52:47.010 --> 00:52:50.690
Yeah, and that that's just the opposite of what being as one means.
00:52:50.850 --> 00:52:56.850
If you're at one in everything else and you decide to get married to a person, why is it hard when it comes to finances?
00:52:57.330 --> 00:52:58.690
You know, why is it hard to see that?
00:52:58.769 --> 00:53:03.490
Why do you look at them as you know, shining a light on where you haven't gone to yet?
00:53:03.730 --> 00:53:05.490
Why can't it be a we, you know?
00:53:06.289 --> 00:53:15.810
She might uh, you know, uh she might in that particular situation, you you know, you're into you know equities and mergers and real estate and everything in development.
00:53:15.970 --> 00:53:18.769
You might show them how you could turn his hundred and fifty thousand into a million, right?
00:53:19.010 --> 00:53:19.810
Into ten million.
00:53:20.050 --> 00:53:20.370
Right.
00:53:20.530 --> 00:53:30.370
You know, but but his his uh his innate internal vibration was on control and domination to where I can call the shots.
00:53:30.530 --> 00:53:30.769
Yeah.
00:53:30.930 --> 00:53:34.210
And if I'm not the shot caller, I don't want to be the baller.
00:53:34.450 --> 00:53:35.410
And so, you know.
00:53:37.810 --> 00:53:39.650
We're on a roll today, baby.
00:53:40.210 --> 00:53:41.810
Now, we aren't perfect either.
00:53:41.890 --> 00:53:45.330
We've we've uh you know had a couple of small tips.
00:53:47.810 --> 00:53:48.930
What is that like?
00:53:49.650 --> 00:53:51.010
Our first argument.
00:53:51.250 --> 00:53:52.210
Oh my gosh.
00:53:52.530 --> 00:53:52.850
Okay.
00:53:56.130 --> 00:53:57.890
Now, okay.
00:53:58.130 --> 00:54:04.210
Years ago, I think on the last podcast, if you guys didn't watch it, go back and watch it so you can understand what I'm talking about.
00:54:04.450 --> 00:54:13.170
Many years ago when I first was watching Billy Carson and things like that, and I was looking, I ended up looking, I'm like, God, he's so smart.
00:54:13.330 --> 00:54:14.530
I was single at the time.
00:54:14.610 --> 00:54:17.890
I was like, I wonder what it'd be like to be married to him.
00:54:18.690 --> 00:54:19.970
Someone that's smart.
00:54:20.450 --> 00:54:21.570
So great.
00:54:22.930 --> 00:54:24.289
Little did I know.
00:54:25.090 --> 00:54:26.850
I was gonna find out.
00:54:27.650 --> 00:54:39.170
And so fast forward, and the within the first uh, probably like what was our like we had been dating probably like three, four months or whatever, and I'm here, maybe even longer.
00:54:39.490 --> 00:54:42.530
And we finally had our first argument.
00:54:43.490 --> 00:54:49.490
And so throughout the first few months, Billy would say little things, right?
00:54:49.650 --> 00:54:52.289
Like, oh, you're gonna eat that?
00:54:54.930 --> 00:54:56.210
You're gonna eat that?
00:54:56.530 --> 00:54:57.730
I'm like, yeah.
00:54:57.890 --> 00:55:00.210
And then I'm like in doubt, should I eat?
00:55:00.450 --> 00:55:06.450
It's like, you know, I thought, like everybody in my family around me knows that I eat super healthy and all that stuff.
00:55:06.530 --> 00:55:09.170
But I Billy knows the science behind everything.
00:55:09.410 --> 00:55:12.370
He's like, vegetables aren't just vegetables, you know.
00:55:13.810 --> 00:55:22.050
So I'm like, and so I'll be sitting there and we're just talking or eating, and I'm like, babe, they're just vegetables.
00:55:23.490 --> 00:55:26.210
So finally, one day, I just got sick of it.
00:55:26.289 --> 00:55:27.250
I'm like, dude.
00:55:30.930 --> 00:55:32.210
We're in the kitchen.
00:55:32.450 --> 00:55:39.490
I got my food and he was walking around doing his thing, you know, and he's happy, he's doing his thing, and then he says, and I'm about to eat something.
00:55:39.570 --> 00:55:45.090
He goes, Oh babe, you gonna eat that?
00:55:45.330 --> 00:55:47.970
I'm like, listen, could you not?
00:55:48.530 --> 00:55:55.330
I said, I do not converse about the decomposing course on your plate.
00:55:56.850 --> 00:55:57.410
Ever.
00:55:58.289 --> 00:56:00.769
Can you stop talking about my dead vegetables?
00:56:02.690 --> 00:56:11.890
God so he started saying no, but I'm just telling you, because just because you're vegan doesn't mean you're healthy and then you should start going on and on.
00:56:12.130 --> 00:56:19.730
And then he goes, you know, plants can feel like what?
00:56:20.690 --> 00:56:35.730
Yeah, I mean, I'm like, okay, don't pretend like you give a damn about what happened to a potato before I ate it.
00:56:36.610 --> 00:56:41.970
And so he's like, no, seriously, you, you know, so he's going on the line.
00:56:42.050 --> 00:56:45.410
So we're, you know, kind of starting, then it starts escalating, right?
00:56:45.490 --> 00:56:46.530
It's now it's escalating.
00:56:46.610 --> 00:56:49.330
Now it's a real argument because now I'm offended.
00:56:49.570 --> 00:57:02.289
Because when he said, he finally goes, he goes, it is the same, and he breaks this down and he goes, vegans have mental illness.
00:57:02.370 --> 00:57:03.490
It's a mental illness.
00:57:05.090 --> 00:57:09.410
It is a mental illness, and I said, But don't forget, I said I had it too.
00:57:09.570 --> 00:57:10.610
No, no, you didn't say that.
00:57:10.850 --> 00:57:11.250
I did say that.
00:57:11.730 --> 00:57:13.330
He was like, Vegans have mental illnesses.
00:57:14.210 --> 00:57:15.170
And I had it too.
00:57:15.330 --> 00:57:19.730
So this way down in the ancestors came up.
00:57:21.570 --> 00:57:23.410
Like, black woman rides.
00:57:24.769 --> 00:57:26.610
Damn, damn, damn.
00:57:28.450 --> 00:57:31.250
I said, Did you just call me crazy?
00:57:31.490 --> 00:57:34.690
Oh, never call a woman crazy, okay, guys.
00:57:35.170 --> 00:57:37.090
Oh man, here we go.
00:57:37.250 --> 00:57:38.850
I said, You just call me crazy.
00:57:39.010 --> 00:57:39.570
Oh Lord.
00:57:39.730 --> 00:57:40.610
I said, okay.
00:57:40.769 --> 00:57:46.530
I said, I'll tell you what, Miss Billy Parkinson's animals feel since you so cared about the animals' feelings.
00:57:46.769 --> 00:57:51.010
I said, are you saying that animals' feelings are equivalent to a baby calf?
00:57:52.210 --> 00:57:55.570
I was like, no, I'm just saying it's y'all vegans do this.
00:57:56.130 --> 00:57:57.250
And so he's going on and on.
00:57:57.650 --> 00:58:03.090
And then I'm like, and then he goes, Listen, the universe is made to consume.
00:58:03.250 --> 00:58:06.530
And I said, Well, could you would you consume a human baby?
00:58:06.769 --> 00:58:08.850
And so I'm going way left, right?
00:58:09.010 --> 00:58:09.810
He goes, What?
00:58:09.890 --> 00:58:10.930
I was like, exactly.
00:58:11.090 --> 00:58:12.130
It's not the same.
00:58:12.289 --> 00:58:14.769
You're not gonna consume a human baby.
00:58:15.010 --> 00:58:17.890
It's not the same as consuming a frickin' potato, Billy.
00:58:20.530 --> 00:58:21.570
And so he goes.
00:58:21.890 --> 00:58:23.250
These are the kind of arguments we had.
00:58:23.490 --> 00:58:26.690
So then he goes, he goes deeper into this argument, right?
00:58:26.769 --> 00:58:32.450
And then he goes, the something with the universe and the holographic, da-da-da-da.
00:58:32.690 --> 00:58:37.330
And if you break down everything is made of atoms, and then atoms, when you break down the atoms, and they do this.
00:58:37.730 --> 00:58:40.050
So listen, I'm losing the argument, okay?
00:58:40.289 --> 00:58:41.170
I'm losing bad.
00:58:41.650 --> 00:58:43.730
I don't, like, what are we even talking about?
00:58:43.890 --> 00:58:46.450
So I said, okay, Billy, what are atoms made of?
00:58:46.610 --> 00:58:48.289
We're talking about quarks and muons in the case.
00:58:48.450 --> 00:58:49.170
I said, all right.
00:58:49.330 --> 00:58:51.010
I said, what are atoms made of?
00:58:51.170 --> 00:58:52.289
Billy answers.
00:58:53.330 --> 00:58:57.090
And I'm like, okay, yeah, they're made of this, this, this.
00:58:57.330 --> 00:58:59.970
And I'm like, all right, what's that made of?
00:59:00.289 --> 00:59:06.850
And then he's like, oh, well, and you take that, and then it's and I'm like, I can't even pronounce these darn words.
00:59:06.930 --> 00:59:10.050
I'm still trying to pronounce the halls of Mimenti, okay?
00:59:10.289 --> 00:59:11.650
So then he goes in.
00:59:12.050 --> 00:59:14.610
And then I said, oh yeah, okay.
00:59:14.850 --> 00:59:16.050
But what's that made up?
00:59:16.210 --> 00:59:20.450
And then he goes, well, then it all goes into a black hole in the black hole.
00:59:20.530 --> 00:59:26.930
And to be honest with you, now that I think about it, I don't know who created this universe because I wouldn't have made it like this, okay?
00:59:27.010 --> 00:59:28.289
It's really made really bad.
00:59:28.370 --> 00:59:29.170
I would have just did it.
00:59:29.330 --> 00:59:32.850
I said, are you?
00:59:33.090 --> 00:59:37.970
I said, are you are you questioning God?
00:59:38.930 --> 00:59:40.050
God's not even good enough.
00:59:40.130 --> 00:59:41.490
Oh, I ain't got to smell bottles of cancer.
00:59:44.370 --> 00:59:45.970
And then I was like, I'm done.
00:59:46.130 --> 00:59:46.769
Whatever.
00:59:46.930 --> 00:59:49.650
I was like, I want to eat and pizza and I'm doing everything.
00:59:49.730 --> 00:59:52.370
So I barred, I charge upstairs, right?
00:59:52.530 --> 01:00:00.370
I'm so mad, you know, because I'm like, he just called me crazy because I'm vegan, you know, and I want some vegetables.
01:00:00.530 --> 01:00:02.850
Yeah, they're expensive, but geez.
01:00:03.250 --> 01:00:04.610
And so I'm laying in bed.
01:00:05.010 --> 01:00:09.090
So then he comes up, you know, and I'm frustrated.
01:00:09.170 --> 01:00:13.970
I'm like, rethinking, like, I don't even know, like, I can't even eat vegetables.
01:00:14.130 --> 01:00:16.610
Like, what are we doing or whatever, right?
01:00:16.690 --> 01:00:23.010
And so I'm sitting here, I'm looking around at the crystals and everything, and I'm like, whatever.
01:00:23.650 --> 01:00:24.050
Right?
01:00:24.370 --> 01:00:32.690
Billy comes up, climbs in the bed with me, and he goes, baby, I'm sorry.
01:00:33.090 --> 01:00:36.530
I had such a bad experience being vegan, and I'm projected.
01:00:37.090 --> 01:00:46.210
I projected my pain, and I realized I projected my pain and everything that I would on you, and everyone doesn't have that same experience.
01:00:47.410 --> 01:00:55.410
And I looked and I was like, I didn't tell him this, but I was like, oh my God.
01:00:57.890 --> 01:01:13.250
Never in my life have I had a man come up and take accountability and you know, and not, you know, continue on with the argument, but just kind of see himself without me having to go with 10-page text messages.
01:01:13.330 --> 01:01:16.210
Girls, you know y'all be sending them 10-page text messages, right?
01:01:17.250 --> 01:01:19.330
And I didn't have to write a letter or email.
01:01:19.570 --> 01:01:26.850
This is how I really felt, and you know, and he just came up and was like, you know, and then I and I looked at him and I said, you know what?
01:01:27.010 --> 01:01:30.610
I'm, you know, I'm sorry what you went through, and I should be more.
01:01:30.769 --> 01:01:39.090
And what I realized with him, and we talked about it, is that he wasn't judging me for eating my vegetables.
01:01:39.810 --> 01:01:46.930
What I realized with Billy is that he cares so much that he's always worrying about you.
01:01:47.250 --> 01:01:49.890
Like he wants to be the solutionist of everything.
01:01:50.130 --> 01:01:51.890
And you'll notice how he talks, you know?
01:01:52.130 --> 01:01:53.570
And you all get to know him in that way.
01:01:53.650 --> 01:01:54.930
But he's like that personally.
01:01:55.010 --> 01:01:58.289
And it's not coming from a place of disdain or looking down on me.
01:01:58.530 --> 01:02:00.690
It's because he was worried about me.
01:02:00.850 --> 01:02:06.769
He was worried about that outcome being the same as his and making sure, like, okay, and and he would.
01:02:06.930 --> 01:02:08.530
He's like, Do you have enough water?
01:02:08.690 --> 01:02:10.210
Like, do you have enough this?
01:02:10.370 --> 01:02:11.010
Do you have that?
01:02:11.250 --> 01:02:17.730
And actually, I realized, even though the argument was whatever, this is what I asked for.
01:02:17.890 --> 01:02:21.330
I wanted someone that cared about me in every single way.
01:02:21.490 --> 01:02:25.730
And that's what it looked like dating one of the most intelligent men in the freaking world.
01:02:26.050 --> 01:02:26.370
Thank you, man.
01:02:26.690 --> 01:02:27.170
Love you.
01:02:27.410 --> 01:02:27.810
Thank you.
01:02:27.970 --> 01:02:35.810
And I'll tell you real quick before we wrap this up, too, because you know, um, there was another time where we don't really, it wasn't an argument.
01:02:36.690 --> 01:02:42.050
But um I wanted to bring something up to you that I felt was important that I wanted you to understand and see.
01:02:42.130 --> 01:02:44.289
And I brought it up in a very calm way.
01:02:44.450 --> 01:02:45.570
It got you a little triggered.
01:02:45.810 --> 01:02:49.890
It didn't turn into an argument, but you definitely were a little, you know, a little spicy.
01:02:50.210 --> 01:02:53.490
Just gently spicy, not too, not too spicy, right?
01:02:53.890 --> 01:02:55.170
And I was like, oh man.
01:02:55.330 --> 01:03:01.970
Um, but what I did love about that is um not too long after you came to me and you just said, you know what?
01:03:02.130 --> 01:03:03.250
I apologize.
01:03:03.490 --> 01:03:17.650
I um I took that, it got me triggered for whatever reason, and you explained why, and um you realize that it had nothing to do with the conversation, that you I just wanted to be seen and heard and to get a certain understanding on something, and you respected that.
01:03:17.890 --> 01:03:26.210
And you were the first woman in history that I've ever been with that actually took accountability and and did that.
01:03:26.370 --> 01:03:27.970
So I was so stunned.
01:03:28.050 --> 01:03:29.170
I didn't even know what to do with myself.
01:03:29.330 --> 01:03:36.450
The rest of the day, I was walking around looking at the sun, the star, uh counting the different things, you know, looking at my fingerprints, how many fingerprints?
01:03:36.690 --> 01:03:38.050
I didn't know what the hell to do with myself.
01:03:38.289 --> 01:03:39.330
I was completely gone.
01:03:39.410 --> 01:03:40.289
Like I really was gone.
01:03:40.370 --> 01:03:41.250
So I appreciate that.
01:03:41.410 --> 01:03:45.570
It was really so so incredible to experience that.
01:03:45.810 --> 01:03:49.490
Some a woman to come and give accountability and say, I was wrong.
01:03:49.650 --> 01:03:50.610
You actually said I was wrong.
01:03:50.850 --> 01:03:56.289
I was like, I need to go get my hearing checked.
01:03:56.530 --> 01:03:58.210
I was like, what the hell happened?
01:03:58.930 --> 01:03:59.410
Am I in?
01:03:59.650 --> 01:04:02.210
I really am on a different Mandela effect.
01:04:02.289 --> 01:04:03.010
Really happened.
01:04:03.250 --> 01:04:06.930
No, but I appreciate it.
01:04:07.090 --> 01:04:07.970
That was huge for me.
01:04:08.130 --> 01:04:10.130
Like it was, I was like, I was like, yeah, I'm in the right place.
01:04:10.210 --> 01:04:11.890
I'm definitely on the right timeline.
01:04:12.130 --> 01:04:13.410
I was like, thank goodness.
01:04:13.570 --> 01:04:13.890
Yeah.
01:04:14.289 --> 01:04:24.370
Well, there's um one thing I can promise you, okay, always, is that I'm gonna piss you off a lot.
01:04:25.730 --> 01:04:28.530
But I'm a really good apologizer.
01:04:28.769 --> 01:04:33.010
You'll be looking forward to the apologies because I do accept that about myself.
01:04:33.090 --> 01:04:34.610
I'm not perfect, so yeah, yeah.
01:04:34.769 --> 01:04:37.250
But I love oh, also I'm gonna love you too.
01:04:37.810 --> 01:04:39.090
Love you too, baby.
01:04:39.410 --> 01:04:41.810
All right, well, we're gonna call that a wrap, all right?
01:04:41.890 --> 01:04:45.730
Thank you guys for tuning into this episode to update conscious.
01:04:46.130 --> 01:04:49.490
Um, we're actually getting ready to fly to Egypt right now.
01:04:49.570 --> 01:04:51.730
We have to race out of here and get on the airplane.
01:04:51.810 --> 01:04:52.930
So we will see you next time.
01:04:53.090 --> 01:04:53.570
Peace.
01:04:53.890 --> 01:04:55.730
Did you know you are a royalty?
01:04:55.970 --> 01:05:05.410
Last year I hosted a private ball for my personal friends and family, and the evening became more magical than I ever could have imagined.
01:05:05.650 --> 01:05:09.890
People danced, laughed, celebrated, and even fell in love.
01:05:10.210 --> 01:05:24.289
Couples fell more deeply in love, and new friendships were formed, and yes, one unexpected introduction even became a$5 million investment for one of my lucky guests.
01:05:24.530 --> 01:05:34.210
It reminded me that when extraordinary people gather, not just to network, but simply to enjoy life, extraordinary things can happen.
01:05:34.450 --> 01:05:46.690
So this year, I'm opening up the doors and personally inviting you to the first annual House Postor Masquerade Ball, a Bridgerton-inspired royal affair.
01:05:46.850 --> 01:05:56.690
So, this all hallows Eve, leave the ordinary behind and enter a world of mystery, elegance, romance, and joy.
01:05:56.930 --> 01:06:25.890
Arrive in your finest Regency-inspired attire, walk the royal red carpet, dine and dance beneath the chandeliers of the historic Millennium Biltmore Hotel located here in Los Angeles, and celebrate amongst an extraordinary gathering of leaders, visionaries, entrepreneurs, philanthropists, entertainers, athletes, and distinguished members of our society.
01:06:26.130 --> 01:06:38.130
And because October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, a portion of the proceeds will benefit at Nikki's House, a non-for-profit assisting victims finding a path forward.
01:06:38.289 --> 01:06:40.530
So secure your invitation today.
01:06:40.690 --> 01:06:44.370
Click the link below or visit the link in my bio.
01:06:44.610 --> 01:06:46.530
I'll be wearing my crown.
01:06:47.890 --> 01:06:51.410
The only question is will you be wearing yours?
01:06:52.050 --> 01:06:53.730
See you at the ball.
01:07:37.010 --> 01:07:38.130
I love too fast.
01:07:38.450 --> 01:07:39.410
I've stayed too long.
01:07:39.570 --> 01:07:40.690
I've called it love.
01:07:41.010 --> 01:07:41.890
When love was around.
01:07:42.130 --> 01:07:43.410
No one knows my words.
01:07:43.570 --> 01:07:44.530
I know my mind.
01:07:44.769 --> 01:07:45.810
I don't need perfect.
01:07:46.210 --> 01:07:47.250
I need a line.
01:07:47.490 --> 01:07:48.610
No more, maybe.
01:07:50.050 --> 01:07:50.610
No more.
01:07:51.490 --> 01:07:55.730
If I give you my heart, I'll give it with purpose.
01:07:57.730 --> 01:07:58.850
Stay conscious.
01:07:59.170 --> 01:08:01.650
Love with your eyes wide open.
01:08:02.769 --> 01:08:03.650
Stay conscious.
01:08:04.210 --> 01:08:05.330
Say what you mean.
01:08:05.410 --> 01:08:06.130
Don't open.
01:08:07.170 --> 01:08:09.570
Know your heart, know your mind.
01:08:09.650 --> 01:08:10.450
Don't just fuck.
01:08:10.850 --> 01:08:12.530
Choose your timeline.
01:08:12.850 --> 01:08:13.730
Stay conscious.
01:08:13.970 --> 01:08:16.449
Love is better when you know it.
01:08:16.769 --> 01:08:18.689
Uh uh, I made mistakes.
01:08:18.850 --> 01:08:19.810
I played it cool.
01:08:19.970 --> 01:08:22.289
I've lost good love, trying not to lose.
01:08:22.449 --> 01:08:24.930
I learned that chemistry, incompatibility.
01:08:25.010 --> 01:08:27.409
I'm wanting somebody, ain't what them and that'll be.
01:08:27.649 --> 01:08:28.930
So what are you looking for?
01:08:29.170 --> 01:08:29.890
Something real.
01:08:30.050 --> 01:08:31.409
And what are you ready for?
01:08:31.649 --> 01:08:32.529
Something real.
01:08:32.769 --> 01:08:33.970
No more, maybe.
01:08:35.170 --> 01:08:35.649
No more.
01:08:36.689 --> 01:08:41.010
If we give this a chance, let's give it with purpose.
01:08:42.930 --> 01:08:43.970
Stay conscious.
01:08:44.449 --> 01:08:46.850
Love with your eyes wide open.
01:08:47.970 --> 01:08:48.930
Take conscious.
01:08:49.409 --> 01:08:51.569
Say what you mean, don't hope it.
01:08:52.449 --> 01:08:54.369
Know your heart, know your mind.
01:08:54.769 --> 01:08:57.569
Two different roads, one timeline.
01:08:58.050 --> 01:08:58.769
Take conscious.
01:08:59.090 --> 01:08:59.569
Love is better.
01:09:05.409 --> 01:09:08.210
Maybe love isn't finding someone.
01:09:08.449 --> 01:09:10.369
Maybe it's knowing yourself.
01:09:10.609 --> 01:09:13.010
Maybe timing isn't everything.
01:09:13.170 --> 01:09:15.170
But it's sure as hell, hell.
01:09:15.649 --> 01:09:17.730
So I know where I'm going.
01:09:17.970 --> 01:09:20.449
So do I together?
01:09:20.690 --> 01:09:22.930
Then maybe it's time.
01:09:45.650 --> 01:09:49.570
Take conscious love with your eyes wide open.
01:09:50.770 --> 01:09:54.369
Take conscious, no more left unspoken.
01:09:55.170 --> 01:09:57.489
Know your heart, know your mind.
01:09:57.810 --> 01:09:58.770
Choose each other.
01:09:59.090 --> 01:10:00.289
Choose your time.
01:10:00.850 --> 01:10:02.930
Take conscious love is better.
01:10:03.090 --> 01:10:04.130
When you know it.
01:10:04.449 --> 01:10:06.369
Know it, knowing, knowing.
01:10:20.930 --> 01:10:24.289
Take consciousness to your time.
00:01:14.289 --> 00:01:16.129
Vegans have mental illness.
00:01:16.209 --> 00:01:17.329
It's a mental illness.
00:01:18.929 --> 00:01:20.209
It is a mental illness.
00:01:20.289 --> 00:01:28.609
And I said, don't pretend like you give a damn about what happened to a potato.
00:01:30.049 --> 00:01:32.370
Listen, I'm losing the argument, okay?
00:01:32.609 --> 00:01:33.650
I'm losing badge.
00:01:33.969 --> 00:01:36.049
I don't like, what are we even talking about?
00:01:36.209 --> 00:01:37.810
So I said, okay, Billy.
00:01:39.489 --> 00:01:40.689
What are atoms made of?
00:01:40.930 --> 00:01:42.449
We're talking about quarks and muons now.
00:01:42.689 --> 00:01:46.049
I said, are you questioning God?
00:01:47.090 --> 00:01:48.289
God's not even good enough.
00:01:48.370 --> 00:01:49.729
Oh, I ain't got a smellbox for cancer.
00:02:00.530 --> 00:02:01.169
No one knows.
00:02:03.009 --> 00:02:04.209
I don't need perfect.
00:02:09.889 --> 00:02:15.969
If I give you on the game, I'm gonna do it.
00:02:16.289 --> 00:02:17.090
Stay conscious.
00:02:22.610 --> 00:02:26.689
Stay with your eyes.
00:02:31.250 --> 00:02:32.050
Date conscious.
00:02:36.689 --> 00:02:39.409
Welcome back to another amazing episode of Date Conscious.
00:02:39.490 --> 00:02:41.090
And I'm your host, Billy Carson.
00:02:41.250 --> 00:02:43.889
And I'm your co-host, Beatrice Foster.
00:02:44.129 --> 00:02:47.009
So we're coming back again for episode number two.
00:02:47.329 --> 00:02:47.649
Yeah.
00:02:48.289 --> 00:02:51.170
And episode number one was phenomenal.
00:02:51.329 --> 00:02:51.649
Yeah.
00:02:51.889 --> 00:02:53.889
We had so many great comments, right?
00:02:54.050 --> 00:02:54.370
Yeah.
00:02:54.610 --> 00:02:58.610
So from the first episode, um, I saw so many great, incredible comments.
00:02:58.769 --> 00:03:00.530
People were really vibing with what we said.
00:03:00.689 --> 00:03:02.370
There were a lot of synchronicities.
00:03:02.530 --> 00:03:04.769
People loved our love story, right?
00:03:05.170 --> 00:03:08.769
I saw people saying that they, you know, they were crying or they had choked up.
00:03:08.930 --> 00:03:10.850
What comments stood out to you the most?
00:03:11.170 --> 00:03:19.649
Well, the one that stuck out to me the most was a young lady that basically stated that she had been having problems in love and she was ready to give up on love.
00:03:19.730 --> 00:03:32.930
And then our podcast came on and she was able to watch it, and she really resonated with us in regards to the timeline dating and meeting the same people basically in different bodies.
00:03:33.410 --> 00:03:40.769
And helping, we helped her identify that those timelines, dating on her timeline, and she was really excited about hearing more.
00:03:40.930 --> 00:03:43.089
So that was the message I wanted to get across.
00:03:43.410 --> 00:03:44.129
Beautiful, yeah.
00:03:44.209 --> 00:03:48.290
I saw so many people going, wow, it makes so much sense dating your timeline.
00:03:48.370 --> 00:03:48.689
Yeah.
00:03:48.850 --> 00:03:56.930
It almost seemed like this awakening was happening within them as if they were beginning to realize, wow, if you date your timeline, we could possibly have better success.
00:03:57.170 --> 00:03:57.410
Yeah.
00:03:57.569 --> 00:04:07.170
And it really seemed from what I saw in the comments from that first podcast and the responses were uh it seemed as if people really don't want to give up on love.
00:04:07.329 --> 00:04:07.569
Yeah.
00:04:07.810 --> 00:04:13.410
They really want to be in love, they really want to be loved, feel loved, and also love someone in a way that's very nurturing.
00:04:13.569 --> 00:04:13.810
Yes.
00:04:13.969 --> 00:04:15.889
And uh and that could last for a long time.
00:04:16.209 --> 00:04:20.209
I think people are, uh, from what I saw, uh a little frustrated, right?
00:04:20.370 --> 00:04:22.769
Some people had kind of felt like they were gonna give up.
00:04:22.930 --> 00:04:23.250
Yeah.
00:04:23.490 --> 00:04:29.089
And so hopefully, if they're, you know, feeling that way and they come across our podcast, yeah, that they change their mind.
00:04:29.170 --> 00:04:30.610
Because I didn't give up, and neither did you.
00:04:30.850 --> 00:04:31.329
Yeah, no.
00:04:31.410 --> 00:04:32.769
No, we gave up.
00:04:32.930 --> 00:04:38.850
You know, I I believe that basically if you become what you expect, you'll attract it.
00:04:39.250 --> 00:04:44.529
If you exist, then your counterpart has to, whatever that looks like for you.
00:04:45.009 --> 00:04:54.449
And the key is first recognizing who you are, really doing a deep dive into yourself, the things you like, the things you enjoy.
00:04:54.610 --> 00:04:59.969
Not showing up for other people, but showing up for yourself and what that looks like for you.
00:05:00.370 --> 00:05:08.769
And then you'll be able to identify easier who's more in alignment with you, and you won't continue to try to force misalignment.
00:05:09.250 --> 00:05:09.730
Exactly.
00:05:09.889 --> 00:05:10.610
I agree.
00:05:10.769 --> 00:05:19.170
Um, you know, because one of the things that we had so much we could have kept talking about from episode one, which is why we're doing episode number two again without any special guests.
00:05:19.329 --> 00:05:20.610
We will have guests on.
00:05:20.689 --> 00:05:22.530
We will be having some guests, okay?
00:05:22.770 --> 00:05:25.490
But right now the story is still so large.
00:05:25.569 --> 00:05:32.770
We wanted to kind of just recap a little bit and obviously go into topic number two, which is really, really important.
00:05:33.009 --> 00:05:33.250
Yeah.
00:05:33.410 --> 00:05:37.329
Um, you know, which is you know, understanding if you're sleeping with the enemy.
00:05:37.650 --> 00:05:38.129
Yes.
00:05:38.449 --> 00:05:43.170
You know, and that's something that um that a lot of us do without even realizing it.
00:05:43.490 --> 00:05:44.689
Without even realizing it.
00:05:44.850 --> 00:05:45.090
Yeah.
00:05:45.329 --> 00:05:45.569
Yeah.
00:05:45.650 --> 00:05:54.290
And that was the scariest thing is when you I think you've met the the one and everything is amazing.
00:05:54.449 --> 00:06:01.970
The beginning most obviously we're not gonna choose someone that shows us that they're a little bit of a psychopath in the beginning.
00:06:02.449 --> 00:06:07.730
You know, they're not gonna show us that, oh yeah, they're gonna be stalking you at 2 a.m.
00:06:07.970 --> 00:06:09.650
in the morning because you didn't answer your phone.
00:06:09.810 --> 00:06:09.970
Yeah.
00:06:10.210 --> 00:06:18.449
You know, they're not gonna show you that while they have several other people on the side that they didn't tell you about, and they're not gonna show you that in the beginning.
00:06:18.530 --> 00:06:20.930
They're gonna show you the best of who they are.
00:06:21.250 --> 00:06:30.210
And I did notice some other things in another comment where a young lady said, How do we know if we're dating our timeline?
00:06:30.370 --> 00:06:31.170
How do we know?
00:06:31.410 --> 00:06:31.650
Right.
00:06:31.889 --> 00:06:37.810
And so that's why I think this is very important to recognize that you're dating someone on your timeline.
00:06:37.889 --> 00:06:38.290
Yeah.
00:06:38.610 --> 00:06:47.730
But sometimes not only are you dating someone off of your timeline, you're literally sleeping with the enemy, someone that doesn't have your best interest.
00:06:48.129 --> 00:06:52.930
And it's a something that was very hard for me to deal with uh many years ago.
00:06:53.090 --> 00:06:58.290
When you wake up and you realize, wow, this person really doesn't like me.
00:06:58.610 --> 00:07:02.530
This person does not have my best interest at heart.
00:07:03.170 --> 00:07:10.290
And there were so many times that they showed who they were, and I just didn't believe them.
00:07:15.810 --> 00:07:16.370
Yeah, no.
00:07:16.530 --> 00:07:26.129
I mean, it was because we see the world as we are, yeah, not as it is, and and that takes off the um glasses, not even for your mate, but everyone, you know.
00:07:26.210 --> 00:07:33.569
You look at these situations and you're like, wow, how could how could someone be so cruel?
00:07:33.889 --> 00:07:36.370
How could someone be so evil?
00:07:36.449 --> 00:07:37.650
It just can't be real.
00:07:37.810 --> 00:07:42.129
Yeah, you know, and you said it in the last podcast that we want to see the best in everybody.
00:07:42.449 --> 00:07:50.770
But first, to see the best in everybody, we just have to accept that not everybody is the best for ourselves, each other, or humanity.
00:07:50.930 --> 00:07:54.129
Yeah, you know, as we can see what's going on in in the world.
00:07:54.449 --> 00:07:59.490
And so, so yeah, so that's why I thought it was very important for us to uh discuss that and highlight that.
00:07:59.569 --> 00:08:03.970
There were a lot of comments asking like, how do you know, how do you recognize?
00:08:04.210 --> 00:08:04.530
Yeah.
00:08:04.930 --> 00:08:10.610
Yeah, we have to tap into that because um recognizing is like the key, right?
00:08:10.770 --> 00:08:11.410
Awareness.
00:08:11.569 --> 00:08:14.290
Nothing can transform in your life without awareness.
00:08:14.449 --> 00:08:14.770
Yeah.
00:08:15.009 --> 00:08:18.850
And so how I ended up in several relationships.
00:08:18.930 --> 00:08:20.530
I haven't been in many, you know.
00:08:20.770 --> 00:08:25.569
Sometimes people try, you know, they try to comment on social media as if I'm some type of jiggler or something.
00:08:25.889 --> 00:08:29.090
I had less than 10, less than 10 women in my entire life.
00:08:29.250 --> 00:08:31.970
And I'm 55 years old, you know.
00:08:32.129 --> 00:08:37.889
But if you show up with three women online in 15 years, yeah, you know, it's like you got a lot of women, really.
00:08:38.049 --> 00:08:38.769
Yeah, yeah.
00:08:40.049 --> 00:08:41.250
Well, damn, okay.
00:08:41.409 --> 00:08:49.090
Well, but but but anyway, to say that to say that's a little funny, but that to say that uh, you know, the awareness, right?
00:08:49.329 --> 00:08:59.970
And so nothing to put any shade on any of them, yeah, not not to make them uh talk negative about them, it's just that um we do see the world as we are.
00:09:00.129 --> 00:09:00.449
Yeah.
00:09:00.610 --> 00:09:09.329
And so I saw myself in them, you know, there's an old Mayan saying in Quechua's called Inla Kek Alakin, and that means I am another you.
00:09:09.889 --> 00:09:10.210
What is it?
00:09:10.449 --> 00:09:11.569
Inla kek ala kin.
00:09:11.730 --> 00:09:13.649
In the click, in a click a kin.
00:09:13.970 --> 00:09:14.689
In the click.
00:09:15.169 --> 00:09:16.370
Inla kekek ala kin.
00:09:16.610 --> 00:09:17.169
In a kick.
00:09:17.569 --> 00:09:18.370
In a click.
00:09:18.769 --> 00:09:19.009
No.
00:09:19.169 --> 00:09:20.689
I can't even say all the moment.
00:09:21.970 --> 00:09:23.569
I would call him Mount Picchu.
00:09:23.809 --> 00:09:24.449
Mount what is it?
00:09:24.529 --> 00:09:25.809
Mount Machu Machu Pichu.
00:09:25.889 --> 00:09:26.529
Machu Picchu.
00:09:26.689 --> 00:09:27.970
I'm learning so much with Billy Carson.
00:09:28.049 --> 00:09:28.129
Yeah.
00:09:28.610 --> 00:09:29.009
Which is okay.
00:09:29.090 --> 00:09:29.889
I am it when I don't know.
00:09:30.129 --> 00:09:31.649
We're out of the financial realm now.
00:09:31.730 --> 00:09:32.929
We're getting into the esoteric.
00:09:33.089 --> 00:09:34.289
Okay, the esoteric, yeah.
00:09:34.449 --> 00:09:34.609
Right.
00:09:34.849 --> 00:09:35.729
So it's okay.
00:09:35.969 --> 00:09:36.209
Okay.
00:09:36.370 --> 00:09:37.889
But uh Okay, let's repeat it.
00:09:37.969 --> 00:09:38.209
So though.
00:09:38.529 --> 00:09:39.809
In Lakek Alakin.
00:09:39.969 --> 00:09:41.490
Inlakek alakin.
00:09:41.809 --> 00:09:41.969
Right.
00:09:42.049 --> 00:09:42.929
I am another you.
00:09:43.009 --> 00:09:43.490
I am another.
00:09:43.809 --> 00:09:47.409
And it means that, you know, I see the world, I see you as I see myself, right?
00:09:47.569 --> 00:09:49.250
I see myself inside of you.
00:09:49.409 --> 00:10:00.370
And because we want to see that best in other people, um, and we do kind of I don't hate to use the word victim, but more like we fall prey to their agenda.
00:10:00.529 --> 00:10:00.849
Yeah.
00:10:01.009 --> 00:10:03.409
Sometimes people do have an agenda, right?
00:10:03.809 --> 00:10:07.889
Um, I had been with people in the past that had definitely had an agenda.
00:10:08.049 --> 00:10:08.370
Yeah.
00:10:08.769 --> 00:10:12.929
They they sought me out, they they love bomb me.
00:10:13.089 --> 00:10:21.009
Uh, and then it was all an agenda to get on the inside and then manipulate, you know, move things around and do certain things or whatever.
00:10:21.250 --> 00:10:23.809
Um, and so we have to become aware.
00:10:23.969 --> 00:10:25.729
Awareness is the absolute key.
00:10:25.889 --> 00:10:27.409
And how do you become aware?
00:10:27.649 --> 00:10:31.409
We know that the love vibration or that love frequency, right?
00:10:31.569 --> 00:10:36.529
That initial stage is so overwhelming that we kind of become blind, right?
00:10:36.689 --> 00:10:38.769
We become blind to everything going on.
00:10:38.929 --> 00:10:42.209
And the red flags present themselves, but we just ignore them.
00:10:42.370 --> 00:10:42.689
Yeah.
00:10:42.849 --> 00:10:48.209
Uh, and the first thing we have to do is we have to become more a little bit more vigilant and we have to discern more.
00:10:48.929 --> 00:11:07.169
And, you know, one thing I did after my last uh situation where I ended up filing for a divorce and winning the divorce, I realized that uh through studying on relationships and self-improvement and understanding more about myself and why I, me, put myself in these situations because you can never blame the other person.
00:11:07.250 --> 00:11:09.169
It's always us that puts ourselves there.
00:11:09.409 --> 00:11:13.969
I began to realize that I didn't have awareness of these red flags.
00:11:14.049 --> 00:11:17.490
I didn't have awareness of situations that weren't on my timeline.
00:11:17.889 --> 00:11:19.809
Now, those red flags might be perfectly good.
00:11:19.889 --> 00:11:22.049
They might be green flags for somebody else.
00:11:22.529 --> 00:11:25.089
They might be golden green flags.
00:11:25.169 --> 00:11:25.409
Yeah.
00:11:25.569 --> 00:11:30.289
But for my timeline, they weren't in alignment with who I am and the path that I was on.
00:11:30.609 --> 00:11:42.049
And so when you when you ignore those red flags because of your love blindness, uh, it then tugs you away from your timeline and forces you onto theirs.
00:11:42.929 --> 00:11:50.370
And unfortunately, once that happens, sometimes those people will utilize that energy in a different way than it was meant to be used.
00:11:50.529 --> 00:11:52.289
So we have to be careful, we have to be aware.
00:11:52.449 --> 00:11:54.370
When a red flag shows up, we have to see them.
00:11:54.529 --> 00:11:58.049
After I um, you know, was divorced and I started dating.
00:11:58.849 --> 00:12:02.769
I dated a few people, just a couple, and I saw red flags.
00:12:03.009 --> 00:12:08.129
Not initially, but within the first few weeks, and I said, I see it.
00:12:08.449 --> 00:12:12.289
And this was the first time in my life I actually saw it before.
00:12:12.370 --> 00:12:14.689
The old Billy would have been like, let's go, right?
00:12:14.849 --> 00:12:17.490
I got on the what they call it, rose-colored glasses or something like that.
00:12:17.569 --> 00:12:18.370
What's that old saying?
00:12:18.529 --> 00:12:19.649
Yeah, it's the rose.
00:12:19.889 --> 00:12:21.649
Yeah, you know, and everything is great.
00:12:21.809 --> 00:12:25.889
Oh, that's nothing, that's no big deal, and I can work around that or I can change that.
00:12:25.969 --> 00:12:27.569
No, you can't change that.
00:12:27.809 --> 00:12:29.569
No, you can't work around that.
00:12:29.729 --> 00:12:40.209
If it's not serving your greater good, if it's not something that is uh gonna be a part of your timeline for you to be the best version of yourself, it has to go and you gotta walk away.
00:12:40.370 --> 00:12:41.649
And so that's exactly what I did.
00:12:41.729 --> 00:12:43.569
I did the moon walk out of there really quick.
00:12:43.809 --> 00:12:45.089
I was like, MJ.
00:12:45.729 --> 00:12:49.169
I was like, Annie, are you okay?
00:12:49.329 --> 00:12:49.889
Are you okay?
00:12:50.129 --> 00:12:51.969
Annie, listen, I was out of there.
00:12:52.129 --> 00:12:52.689
But why?
00:12:52.929 --> 00:12:56.289
Because I finally saw it before, forget about it.
00:12:56.449 --> 00:12:57.169
I ain't seen nothing.
00:12:57.250 --> 00:12:59.250
I was blind, but this time I actually saw it.
00:12:59.409 --> 00:13:01.009
So it's a step-by-step process.
00:13:01.089 --> 00:13:15.490
So what I'm saying to the to is this for people who have been going through the similar situations over and over and hadn't seen these red flags, they need to understand don't kick yourself, don't be down on yourself, don't be depressed, don't be angry.
00:13:15.729 --> 00:13:20.929
Just now start fresh and start anew and begin to recognize these red flags for what they really are.
00:13:21.169 --> 00:13:27.569
Because what I've learned through now my 55 years on this planet, a leopard never changes its spots.
00:13:27.809 --> 00:13:28.849
Oh, that's neat.
00:13:29.569 --> 00:13:30.049
Yeah.
00:13:30.289 --> 00:13:32.769
So like I I absolutely agree with that.
00:13:33.009 --> 00:13:38.449
Um having the strength to leave, you know, that's and get out of there.
00:13:38.529 --> 00:13:42.449
I don't care what they have, what it looks like they can offer you.
00:13:42.609 --> 00:13:48.370
Um, I don't care how strong the chemistry is, just look at it and say, no, but how do you get there?
00:13:48.609 --> 00:13:56.609
So it took me a while, all right, because I was not, I'm telling you, I literally am happy I love music.
00:13:56.689 --> 00:14:00.049
If you make me laugh, oh you got me.
00:14:00.289 --> 00:14:02.449
You know, it was just great.
00:14:02.529 --> 00:14:23.729
And so what ended up happening was one of my good friends and business partners, he started calling me an habitual first dater because I'd be at dinner with someone, and they literally, like I remember one person was eating and food like dropped out of his mouth while he was eating.
00:14:23.889 --> 00:14:24.209
Okay.
00:14:24.370 --> 00:14:27.409
And it wasn't, I and it wasn't his fault, right?
00:14:27.569 --> 00:14:33.649
I must say we were talking, but while he was eating or whatever, and I was like, nah, see, he don't pay attention, you know.
00:14:34.049 --> 00:14:35.969
I just started overdoing it.
00:14:36.049 --> 00:14:43.169
And then I went out with another gentleman, and he was, you know, he was super nice, super kind, you know, and all that stuff.
00:14:43.329 --> 00:15:00.689
But then in the um middle of the conversation, you know, he was like asking me about, you know, being vegan, and and he asked me in a hypothetical situation, like, if all we had to eat was a deer, would I eat the deer?
00:15:00.849 --> 00:15:08.370
You know, and I said, no, I'll just eat what the deer eats because once the deer is gone, we're not gonna have anything.
00:15:08.449 --> 00:15:09.729
And he got really upset.
00:15:09.889 --> 00:15:15.649
He was like, you would just let your family die and not eat the deer.
00:15:15.969 --> 00:15:17.729
He went so far off the deep end.
00:15:18.209 --> 00:15:18.689
Right, right, right.
00:15:18.769 --> 00:15:19.889
So I'm gonna do it.
00:15:20.929 --> 00:15:22.129
So this is the first date.
00:15:22.209 --> 00:15:30.370
So, you know, um, so we got in this huge debate, you know, about this deer, you know, and I'm like, listen, I'm not that vegan, okay?
00:15:30.449 --> 00:15:34.449
I'm like vegan, but I'm not this vegan where I'm trying to have this huge argument, you know.
00:15:34.689 --> 00:15:38.129
We're arguing about a hypothetical situation that hasn't even existed.
00:15:38.289 --> 00:15:45.089
So I like saw like that that that so raven show where she kind of gets projected into the future, and I'm like, here I am.
00:15:45.329 --> 00:15:46.689
Yeah, it's like apocalyptic.
00:15:46.849 --> 00:15:49.250
He was the most apocalyptic thoughts.
00:15:49.329 --> 00:15:51.729
He was like dystopia, like the geez.
00:15:52.049 --> 00:15:55.089
So other women like might be like, well, that's not that bad.
00:15:55.169 --> 00:15:55.729
You just got that.
00:15:55.809 --> 00:15:57.250
He's really great, he's got a great job.
00:15:57.409 --> 00:15:59.490
He makes, you know, six, seven figures.
00:15:59.569 --> 00:16:00.849
He does this, he's gorgeous.
00:16:00.929 --> 00:16:04.049
And you just you don't want to date him because you had a hypothetical argument.
00:16:04.209 --> 00:16:05.089
And I said, Yes.
00:16:05.569 --> 00:16:07.490
We had a hypothetical argument.
00:16:07.729 --> 00:16:08.289
That's crazy.
00:16:08.449 --> 00:16:10.209
That's crazy on a first date.
00:16:10.370 --> 00:16:13.649
So those are the red flags we're talking about that seem subtle, right?
00:16:14.129 --> 00:16:16.769
They seem innocent and fun and playful.
00:16:16.929 --> 00:16:18.049
He wouldn't playful.
00:16:18.129 --> 00:16:20.049
He was serious about me eating this deer.
00:16:20.289 --> 00:16:25.409
And so I got out of deer.
00:16:26.689 --> 00:16:27.969
So you got out of deer?
00:16:28.129 --> 00:16:28.929
I got out of deer.
00:16:31.169 --> 00:16:32.449
You're so funny though.
00:16:32.529 --> 00:16:34.129
Like, that's really good.
00:16:34.289 --> 00:16:36.609
But anyway, yeah, I got out of deer.
00:16:37.569 --> 00:16:39.250
Such a dad joke.
00:16:40.769 --> 00:16:49.329
But anyway, so I'm just saying, so we're not, so some people say, oh, this is so small, or this is that, but then there's a thing that'll happen where you just everything's great.
00:16:49.409 --> 00:16:51.329
You don't get in one argument at all.
00:16:51.490 --> 00:16:55.729
And then after two months, I always for me, it was always like that 60 day mark.
00:16:56.209 --> 00:17:01.889
You know, something will happen out of the blue, and you'll think about all the other things, you just ignore it, right?
00:17:01.969 --> 00:17:03.809
But it's it's a red flag.
00:17:04.210 --> 00:17:08.769
And um, and for me, red, you're not like looking for it.
00:17:08.930 --> 00:17:17.250
Before you, what I'd say a red flag is for you, because everyone's is different, is your standards, because you can't expect perfection from people, right?
00:17:17.410 --> 00:17:20.370
Okay, you have to have certain standards, right?
00:17:20.529 --> 00:17:27.730
Things that you want to deal with, like how I want to be spoken to, you know, um, how do I want a guy to open the door or not open the door?
00:17:27.809 --> 00:17:29.089
Do I care about those different things?
00:17:29.250 --> 00:17:37.569
I'm not big on those things, but um, you know, how how are you, you know, with that, whatever your standards are, no judgment, be real with yourself.
00:17:37.650 --> 00:17:38.609
Don't negotiate it.
00:17:38.690 --> 00:17:39.569
What are your standards?
00:17:39.730 --> 00:17:41.410
Do you want to date someone with kids?
00:17:41.650 --> 00:17:45.329
My requirement was I wanted to be with someone with kids because I had kids.
00:17:45.650 --> 00:17:48.609
Um, when I went away from that, it was a challenge.
00:17:48.690 --> 00:17:49.730
You know, it was a challenge.
00:17:49.809 --> 00:17:52.609
It was always a challenge when it came to me choosing them.
00:17:53.170 --> 00:17:55.089
So that is another timeline thing.
00:17:55.250 --> 00:18:01.170
Not saying that dating a person without kids is a bad thing, but that was just something that I needed, right?
00:18:01.569 --> 00:18:12.690
So when you keep making those adjustments, like, okay, well, I really like this person, but my huge, you know, deal breaker is kids or having kids or someone that has kids you don't want to date.
00:18:12.849 --> 00:18:22.609
And you go and do it, and then the things start coming up later, you know, that's when I'm not saying blame yourself, but that's when you have to be, like you said, very self-aware.
00:18:22.930 --> 00:18:24.369
Like, what is it I want?
00:18:24.529 --> 00:18:28.369
What do what do I want my everyday to feel like with this person?
00:18:28.609 --> 00:18:31.970
So, first, the most important thing is your everyday with yourself.
00:18:32.129 --> 00:18:34.210
How does every day with yourself feel like?
00:18:34.450 --> 00:18:41.009
And if you can really enjoy every day with yourself, then you'll understand how that other person fits in or how you fit into their life.
00:18:41.169 --> 00:18:43.569
And then you can start recognizing the red flags.
00:18:43.649 --> 00:18:46.210
Then you can start recognizing are we on the same timeline?
00:18:46.369 --> 00:18:47.089
Are we aligned?
00:18:47.169 --> 00:18:48.529
What are my routines every day?
00:18:48.690 --> 00:18:52.289
If they don't have a routine, nine times out of ten, they're gonna get you off of your routine.
00:18:52.849 --> 00:18:59.089
If you want someone, like Billy told me that it was very because I asked him, I said, What do you want out of a relationship?
00:18:59.250 --> 00:19:02.930
He says, Very important that my mate is healthy.
00:19:03.009 --> 00:19:07.889
Yeah, you know, I just really want her to be healthy, and I was like, Oh, this is great.
00:19:08.129 --> 00:19:24.849
I it's very important for my mate to be healthy because I lost my stepfather, and my mother was a young widow, and you know, and I saw the pain that it caused her, you know, and I just didn't want to deal with that pain.
00:19:24.930 --> 00:19:30.129
I'm like, oh my gosh, I don't want to, you know, watch the person I love suffer unnecessarily.
00:19:30.289 --> 00:19:38.529
Not saying that that won't happen, you know, but I want someone that's, hey, at our age, we have to, you know, we're living, but it's it's very important.
00:19:38.690 --> 00:19:39.409
You can't help.
00:19:39.490 --> 00:19:41.329
There's no such thing as wealth without health.
00:19:41.730 --> 00:19:44.049
You know, it's it's not to me, health is wealth.
00:19:44.129 --> 00:19:44.529
Yeah, right.
00:19:44.609 --> 00:19:45.889
And that's something that's big to me.
00:19:45.970 --> 00:19:48.289
And it doesn't have to be big to everyone else, right?
00:19:48.529 --> 00:19:55.009
But you don't want to be with someone where they don't work, you're working out six days a week and you look at them, they don't work out six times a year.
00:19:55.169 --> 00:19:56.930
You know what you're gonna start doing to that person?
00:19:57.089 --> 00:19:59.250
You're gonna start worrying about that person.
00:19:59.329 --> 00:20:03.809
Hey, trying to be their coach, let me bring you over here, bring you to my side, and that's gonna cause friction.
00:20:03.889 --> 00:20:06.369
And then they're gonna be like, gosh, why do you have to work out all the time?
00:20:06.450 --> 00:20:07.649
Why you gotta get up at four in the morning?
00:20:07.809 --> 00:20:08.690
Why do you gotta do that?
00:20:08.849 --> 00:20:10.049
And that can cause a problem.
00:20:10.129 --> 00:20:21.250
It's very rare that those things, and I'm not saying it never happens, but it's very rare that you meet people, you know, on such different dynamics that can cohabitate with each other.
00:20:21.490 --> 00:20:30.369
So not necessarily a red flag, but just a flag that you can say, hey, this doesn't align with what my future looks like.
00:20:30.690 --> 00:20:31.730
Yeah, yeah, I agree.
00:20:31.889 --> 00:20:39.169
Yeah, it's just not on the timeline because you know, uh, it makes a lot of sense if you're if you're a person that goes to the gym three, four times a week and the other person doesn't go at all.
00:20:39.409 --> 00:20:46.289
Not only will you try to pull them in, but and then when you when they don't, then you're gonna be frustrated, you're gonna get angry, you're gonna have resentment.
00:20:46.450 --> 00:20:48.369
Yeah, the resentment continues to build.
00:20:48.529 --> 00:20:58.129
Uh I even see in a relationship that tried to work like that, where then the woman was fat shaming the guy, yeah, and that would trigger more arguments, and so it was just turning into this cycle.
00:20:58.210 --> 00:20:58.690
But you're right.
00:20:58.849 --> 00:21:01.730
So, and everything is a little bit different, you know, different for everyone.
00:21:01.809 --> 00:21:10.529
Like, for example, you were saying, like, for you, when you were dating with kids, you wanted a man that had kids so he can relate, so he can understand that vibration, that frequency, right?
00:21:10.609 --> 00:21:21.169
That family nature, uh, versus someone who didn't have it, because then it would be like, you know, I got this other man's seed, and I gotta, you know, and you know, I know the mindset, right?
00:21:21.409 --> 00:21:29.889
And so, and then also you were on a date with someone who started a hypothetical, pessimistic argument, right?
00:21:30.129 --> 00:21:40.210
But now a lot of women would have been analyzing, well, I know he's starting this crazy scenario, but he got good money and a good job and benefits and a house and a nice car.
00:21:40.369 --> 00:21:40.609
Yeah.
00:21:40.769 --> 00:21:43.329
And they would have been like, I'm on work with this one.
00:21:43.490 --> 00:21:43.730
Yeah.
00:21:43.889 --> 00:21:44.129
Right?
00:21:44.289 --> 00:21:44.450
Yeah.
00:21:44.609 --> 00:21:46.849
And they've been in a very toxic relationship.
00:21:46.930 --> 00:21:50.769
Because if you're arguing on date number one, yeah, that's your future.
00:21:51.009 --> 00:21:51.250
Yeah.
00:21:51.649 --> 00:21:56.049
You're predicting the whole outcome of the whole thing, arguing all the time over stuff that didn't even happen yet.
00:21:56.289 --> 00:21:57.490
Didn't even happen yet.
00:21:57.889 --> 00:21:59.889
I think, like, really, sir.
00:22:00.609 --> 00:22:03.169
What if World War 10 happened tomorrow?
00:22:03.490 --> 00:22:04.369
I mean, come on.
00:22:04.609 --> 00:22:04.849
Right?
00:22:05.009 --> 00:22:05.169
Right.
00:22:05.329 --> 00:22:08.210
But there's people like that, very pessimistic people exist.
00:22:08.529 --> 00:22:19.009
I know a few of them, and they're always focused on the worst outcome, and they're always saying the worst horrible things in situations that aren't even close to developing.
00:22:19.089 --> 00:22:19.329
Yeah.
00:22:19.490 --> 00:22:19.730
Right?
00:22:19.889 --> 00:22:29.490
So, but again, the women, they would a lot of them, not all, but a lot of them would have been like, hmm, good job, good money, nice car, good house, stable income, benefits, I'm in.
00:22:29.730 --> 00:22:31.569
And then try to make it work, right?
00:22:31.730 --> 00:22:33.809
So, this is what we're talking about dating your time.
00:22:33.970 --> 00:22:41.009
And obviously, clearly, if you can now, if you can put up with the toxicity, if you're codependent on toxic arguments, but that's not healthy.
00:22:41.250 --> 00:22:41.649
You know?
00:22:41.889 --> 00:22:48.609
Over time, those arguments they create dis-ease in the body, and that dis-ease turns into disease.
00:22:48.690 --> 00:22:48.930
Yeah.
00:22:49.089 --> 00:22:50.609
And then you're pushing up daisies.
00:22:50.690 --> 00:22:50.769
Yeah.
00:22:53.009 --> 00:22:53.730
We're bars.
00:22:53.970 --> 00:22:55.889
You've been doing good too lately with your birds.
00:22:56.049 --> 00:22:58.690
I've been listening to all of his music.
00:22:59.009 --> 00:22:59.730
So sleep.
00:23:00.369 --> 00:23:00.849
With the enemy.
00:23:00.930 --> 00:23:01.169
Yeah.
00:23:01.409 --> 00:23:01.889
All right.
00:23:02.210 --> 00:23:11.169
So when I realized I was sleeping with the enemy, it was um, it was definitely sobering.
00:23:12.769 --> 00:23:20.210
You know, and I was with this person for a good amount of time.
00:23:20.529 --> 00:23:30.369
Um, and I looked back, we were together for years, and I ended up looking back on the progression of the toxicity.
00:23:30.930 --> 00:23:35.089
And I always made excuses like, oh, he was just having a bad day.
00:23:35.490 --> 00:23:36.849
You know, I was having a bad day.
00:23:36.930 --> 00:23:38.529
Maybe I could have responded better.
00:23:38.609 --> 00:23:38.769
Yeah.
00:23:39.009 --> 00:23:39.409
You know?
00:23:39.649 --> 00:23:41.490
Um blame ourselves.
00:23:41.970 --> 00:23:42.609
Yeah, yeah.
00:23:42.769 --> 00:23:45.009
I mean, definitely blame myself, you know.
00:23:45.089 --> 00:23:45.490
You know what?
00:23:45.569 --> 00:23:52.529
I just so I have this habit of um dancing in the morning to loud music.
00:23:52.690 --> 00:23:53.089
I know.
00:23:53.329 --> 00:24:04.369
And I warned you, I was like, I really like 80s, and I start, I want to get in a state, because I listened to Tony Robbins for years, and he always talks about manifesting from a state, right?
00:24:04.450 --> 00:24:09.649
So I want to always start my day with a state, a a state of mind, right?
00:24:09.889 --> 00:24:17.009
And so the easiest way to get there is music, music from a time when I was younger and and no problems and everything.
00:24:17.649 --> 00:24:18.129
Nostalgia.
00:24:18.450 --> 00:24:19.409
Yeah, nostalgia.
00:24:19.490 --> 00:24:19.970
I like that.
00:24:20.049 --> 00:24:21.649
And the 80s, all right.
00:24:21.730 --> 00:24:34.609
So I was listening, you know, to an 80s song, and it I really, really got into it, and um he got of it and I remember I'm dancing, I'm at line eye.
00:24:36.369 --> 00:24:39.329
Turn that F and S H I T on.
00:24:39.569 --> 00:24:41.089
Wow, there's out of the blue.
00:24:41.329 --> 00:24:42.849
I'm in the bathroom, you know.
00:24:43.089 --> 00:24:49.409
I know who gets up that early in the morning is happy.
00:24:50.769 --> 00:25:02.210
Like so I turn around and I'm like, and I remember that like uh that little girl in me, like scared, like it took me back to when I was a child, like you know what I mean?
00:25:02.289 --> 00:25:03.809
Oh, I'm in trouble, you know.
00:25:04.049 --> 00:25:06.769
And it you know, broke in me.
00:25:06.849 --> 00:25:15.329
So I immediately just like tried to defuse the situation, and I'm like, oh my little angry poo-bearer.
00:25:18.210 --> 00:25:20.210
It's okay, honey, dance with me.
00:25:20.369 --> 00:25:22.769
You know, he wasn't dancing with me.
00:25:26.049 --> 00:25:29.569
So yeah, so that was how I dealt with that situation.
00:25:29.730 --> 00:25:33.250
But before that, that was like, wait a minute, where did that come from?
00:25:33.329 --> 00:25:35.730
It was the first time he had lost his temper with me.
00:25:35.970 --> 00:25:43.889
And it was, you know, and then after that, needless to say, it got to so many times to where I wasn't responding like, oh, my little toothbig.
00:25:44.129 --> 00:25:46.129
I was responding like him, you know?
00:25:46.210 --> 00:25:46.289
Yeah.
00:25:46.450 --> 00:25:49.009
And next thing you know, we're at each other's throat.
00:25:49.169 --> 00:25:54.049
And then those situations, you have those blow-ups, and then you come back to go, oh, I'm sorry, and I'm this and the other thing.
00:25:54.210 --> 00:25:56.049
You have this string of toxicity, yeah.
00:25:56.369 --> 00:25:59.569
And that ends up being the dynamic of your relationship.
00:25:59.809 --> 00:25:59.970
Right.
00:26:00.369 --> 00:26:19.329
And so a major rip lag is if you you'll know, right, if the person's not on your timeline, if you're vibing super high and they interject something, and it takes you out of that state, like almost immediately, to so low that you feel crippled, scared, and that you have to protect yourself in any type of way.
00:26:19.490 --> 00:26:19.649
Yeah.
00:26:19.889 --> 00:26:33.649
And so, you know, and so anyway, so so needs to say, um, that that's where I was able to realize, you know, when it happened again, I was laying in a bed, and you know, and I looked up and I wanted to share with him some exciting news.
00:26:33.730 --> 00:26:35.250
And I was like, hey, how you doing?
00:26:35.409 --> 00:26:42.450
And you know, like we're not arguing anything, like, you know, annoyed, just like that annoyance.
00:26:42.529 --> 00:26:50.849
And I've seen it in other couples where you do see how they talk to each other, and it's like, you know, what you're you're annoying, like you're annoying me.
00:26:50.930 --> 00:26:55.809
And I'm like, it's not about longevity, it's about the quality of the relationship while you're in there.
00:26:56.129 --> 00:27:06.849
You want to be with someone that you're happy to see, you're happy to be around, that you really like them, you can observe them in their own little innocent space, dancing, like, wow, let me dance with her.
00:27:07.490 --> 00:27:17.889
Not look at her dancing again, you know, or look at him doing his podcast and talking to this person that he knows everything.
00:27:18.049 --> 00:27:21.250
And you want a person that actually likes you.
00:27:21.409 --> 00:27:25.889
And when I realized, wow, I'm I'm really sleeping next to the enemy.
00:27:26.049 --> 00:27:28.930
And that wasn't the first relationship like that, right?
00:27:29.009 --> 00:27:39.409
It was a series of them where everything was great until they weren't, and then I stayed and tried to hold on to the mask that was introduced to me in the beginning, you know, and I fought for that.
00:27:39.569 --> 00:27:45.009
I was negotiating that, like, oh, let's do this, let's let's do that, or maybe I can be that.
00:27:45.089 --> 00:27:47.089
Or in some cases, I became them.
00:27:47.569 --> 00:27:49.009
I became the angry person.
00:27:49.169 --> 00:28:05.569
I became the fighting, and I had um someone called it reactive abuse that a lot of um people with different personality disorders will start triggering in you, and and then next thing you know, you're reacting in a way that's not in alignment of who you truly are.
00:28:05.649 --> 00:28:05.970
Yeah.
00:28:06.129 --> 00:28:08.049
And so it's and then they blame you.
00:28:08.129 --> 00:28:15.409
See what you did, see how you reacted, and they focus more on the reaction than they do the action that caused your reaction.
00:28:15.490 --> 00:28:20.289
And so you're now you're feeling that guilt, and you know, you get shame again, you know.
00:28:20.450 --> 00:28:35.009
And then you're like, I found myself in constant like relationships to where I'm trying to, I would apologize to them for being mad at them.
00:28:35.250 --> 00:28:36.049
Man, come on.
00:28:36.210 --> 00:28:37.409
Like, I would be mad at them.
00:28:38.129 --> 00:28:41.089
Next thing you know, I'm about they're mad at me for being mad at them.
00:28:41.169 --> 00:28:41.649
And you're apologizing.
00:28:41.809 --> 00:28:43.009
And then now I'm apologizing.
00:28:43.089 --> 00:28:43.490
Oh God.
00:28:43.730 --> 00:28:47.169
I'm like, oh my God, this is what's happening.
00:28:47.329 --> 00:28:49.730
So that's how you know you're sleeping with the enemy.
00:28:49.889 --> 00:28:50.210
Yeah.
00:28:50.450 --> 00:28:50.930
Facts.
00:28:51.490 --> 00:28:52.210
Facts.
00:28:52.690 --> 00:28:53.490
Goodness.
00:28:54.129 --> 00:28:56.210
It's like you just read my whole past history.
00:28:56.450 --> 00:28:57.009
Oh, yeah.
00:28:57.169 --> 00:28:59.089
You know, it's uh because we're in the same timeline.
00:28:59.169 --> 00:28:59.649
We're in the same time.
00:28:59.809 --> 00:29:00.529
That's what I was going through.
00:29:00.849 --> 00:29:01.329
Exactly.
00:29:01.490 --> 00:29:14.529
Isn't it interesting how we consistently, because I did the same thing, I consistently put myself in similar situations, with the exception of maybe one person, um, where um, you know, that was happening, right?
00:29:14.690 --> 00:29:17.809
And it's this um it's this anger.
00:29:17.889 --> 00:29:18.049
Yeah.
00:29:18.210 --> 00:29:22.450
And sometimes it almost seems like forced anger or fake anger.
00:29:22.609 --> 00:29:28.369
Um, not really under not I'm not, I wasn't really able to discern whether it was real or fake at some time, sometimes, right?
00:29:28.529 --> 00:29:28.690
Yeah.
00:29:28.849 --> 00:29:31.169
And then it was almost as if to trigger me.
00:29:31.329 --> 00:29:31.649
Yeah.
00:29:32.129 --> 00:29:38.129
And then to focus on the trigger response or the reaction versus what caused it, just like you said.
00:29:38.289 --> 00:29:38.450
Yeah.
00:29:38.690 --> 00:29:38.930
Right?
00:29:39.089 --> 00:29:42.690
It's like, are they did they go to some kind of trigger university?
00:29:43.089 --> 00:29:44.049
Is there a university?
00:29:44.129 --> 00:29:49.409
Is there a PhD in this that I didn't I didn't know about this particular class or course that exists?
00:29:49.730 --> 00:29:52.609
But they got they went to this course, right?
00:29:52.930 --> 00:29:55.009
And they mastered this course.
00:29:55.490 --> 00:30:04.369
Um, and the thing that I really um struggle with is trying to understand why.
00:30:04.609 --> 00:30:10.049
Like, you know, like it, like, why even come with the mask?
00:30:10.210 --> 00:30:12.690
Why get into the relationship?
00:30:13.009 --> 00:30:14.930
Did you know you are a royalty?
00:30:15.169 --> 00:30:24.609
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00:30:24.849 --> 00:30:29.089
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Couples fell more deeply in love, and new friendships were formed, and yes, one unexpected introduction even became a$5 million investment for one of my lucky guests.
00:30:43.730 --> 00:30:53.409
It reminded me that when extraordinary people gather, not just to network, but simply to enjoy life, extraordinary things can happen.
00:30:53.649 --> 00:31:05.889
So this year, I'm opening up the doors and personally inviting you to the first annual House Postor Masquerade Ball, a Bridgerton-inspired royal affair.
00:31:06.049 --> 00:31:15.889
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00:31:16.129 --> 00:31:45.089
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00:31:45.329 --> 00:31:57.329
And because October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, a portion of the proceeds will benefit at Nikki's House, a non-for-profit assisting victims finding a path forward.
00:31:57.490 --> 00:31:59.730
So secure your invitation today.
00:31:59.889 --> 00:32:03.569
Click the link below or visit the link in my bio.
00:32:03.809 --> 00:32:05.730
I'll be wearing my crown.
00:32:07.089 --> 00:32:10.609
The only question is, will you be wearing yours?
00:32:11.250 --> 00:32:12.930
See you at the ball.
00:32:13.809 --> 00:32:16.849
Why become so cruel on a consistent basis?
00:32:16.930 --> 00:32:21.730
You know, the pulling away and the attitudes and the embarrassing in public and things like that.
00:32:21.889 --> 00:32:32.369
And then you I'm always just trying to cover it up, you know, and and over giving over out overdoing the accolades to make that person feel whole because I thought they just had a hole in themselves or whatever, you know?
00:32:32.450 --> 00:32:32.769
Yeah.
00:32:32.930 --> 00:32:34.930
And it still wasn't ever enough, right?
00:32:35.089 --> 00:32:38.049
And no matter what you did, the person was always jealous.
00:32:38.529 --> 00:32:42.049
I've had exes, this is plural.
00:32:42.210 --> 00:32:44.849
I've had exes tell me that they were jealous of me.
00:32:45.009 --> 00:32:45.250
Yeah.
00:32:45.490 --> 00:32:46.210
To my face.
00:32:46.450 --> 00:32:47.009
Yeah.
00:32:47.250 --> 00:32:50.129
And I'm going, how could you be jealous of me?
00:32:50.289 --> 00:32:51.649
Whatever I have, you have.
00:32:51.809 --> 00:32:52.049
Yeah.
00:32:52.289 --> 00:32:54.369
If I'm successful, you're successful.
00:32:54.690 --> 00:32:58.769
One ex was um trying to trying to blow up in one field, right?
00:32:58.849 --> 00:33:00.609
In one genre of work.
00:33:00.930 --> 00:33:03.089
And I wasn't even in that field of work yet.
00:33:03.250 --> 00:33:04.129
This was music.
00:33:04.769 --> 00:33:07.009
2015, I started producing music.
00:33:07.169 --> 00:33:09.409
A lot of people don't know I produced music.
00:33:09.569 --> 00:33:11.889
Um, and I just came out of nowhere.
00:33:12.049 --> 00:33:20.049
And I started producing a lot of music, and some of them became hits, you know, and some of them actually made it even to billboard, you know.
00:33:20.210 --> 00:33:23.970
And so my songs were playing all over the place.
00:33:24.049 --> 00:33:31.730
And so, in some way, I had kind of superseded or exceled past this person, not as a performer on stage, but still it's in music, right?
00:33:31.889 --> 00:33:43.569
Uh, and then I tried to take this person along with me and try to put this person in music and try to boost them up and give them accolades and get their first album out and make them a music video and all this stuff to say, hey, come with me.
00:33:43.649 --> 00:33:45.490
You can, you know, it's just we're together, it's a team.
00:33:45.649 --> 00:33:46.769
It still wasn't good enough.
00:33:47.089 --> 00:33:53.009
So there was always this animosity, this envy, this um this jealousy that was just there, right?
00:33:53.169 --> 00:33:55.569
And I was just like, I can't understand.
00:33:55.649 --> 00:33:57.409
I couldn't wrap my mind around it.
00:33:57.569 --> 00:34:03.169
And then I faced it again um, you know, with with someone else, and there was um another jealousy issue.
00:34:03.250 --> 00:34:18.369
Every accolade I got everything that I did, every, you know, every every every time somebody would uh recognize me, want a photo with me, uh, autograph or whatever, it was always I knew later on that day I was gonna have to deal with a very nasty attitude.
00:34:18.450 --> 00:34:18.690
Yeah.
00:34:18.849 --> 00:34:20.690
Uh, and it was just this jealousy thing.
00:34:20.769 --> 00:34:24.289
And so you're right, you could be sleeping with an enemy, you know.
00:34:24.369 --> 00:34:30.769
I faced before, and some men will never talk about this, men are victims of domestic abuse.
00:34:31.329 --> 00:34:31.650
Yeah.
00:34:32.210 --> 00:34:35.010
Spiritually, mentally, and physically.
00:34:35.329 --> 00:34:37.329
And I'm a victim of all three.
00:34:37.730 --> 00:34:42.690
And the reason why men won't talk about that is because it's very emasculating, or we feel like it's emasculating.
00:34:42.769 --> 00:34:47.090
But I'm here to say it because I think a lot of guys out there, just as big as me.
00:34:47.170 --> 00:34:47.730
I'm a big dude.
00:34:47.809 --> 00:34:50.450
I'm 230 pounds right now, six foot four.
00:34:50.690 --> 00:34:51.409
Yes, you are.
00:34:51.570 --> 00:34:52.210
Right.
00:34:55.650 --> 00:34:56.369
Continue.
00:34:56.690 --> 00:34:57.409
Sorry.
00:34:57.809 --> 00:35:00.130
So you keep making it.
00:35:00.210 --> 00:35:01.329
I'm sorry, this is a touching moment.
00:35:01.889 --> 00:35:09.010
But the point that the point that I'm making here is like I would be able, I mean, one blow, I destroy this person.
00:35:09.250 --> 00:35:09.810
One blow.
00:35:09.890 --> 00:35:10.530
I mean, you know.
00:35:10.690 --> 00:35:12.370
And so it takes a lot of restraint.
00:35:12.530 --> 00:35:16.610
And so because we show that restraint, even that restraint is taken for granted.
00:35:16.690 --> 00:35:17.090
Yeah.
00:35:17.250 --> 00:35:18.130
You know what I'm saying?
00:35:18.289 --> 00:35:25.410
To the point where um this person thinks they can continue on and it even escalates from that, that abuse even escalates.
00:35:25.650 --> 00:35:29.090
And then you kind of you kind of suffer alone, right?
00:35:29.330 --> 00:35:37.170
Because this is something that's so embarrassing and so um incredible that you you don't really want to share with many people.
00:35:37.650 --> 00:35:47.090
There's a small amount of people that know about it, you know, um, and and have witnessed it, but you try to keep it because it's like it just destroys your ego, right?
00:35:47.170 --> 00:35:48.930
It makes you feel less of a man.
00:35:49.010 --> 00:35:49.330
Yeah.
00:35:49.490 --> 00:36:00.769
Um, but men need to understand out there, well, women need to understand, and men need to understand, it's okay to talk about and express that, hey, I've been a victim of domestic violence, domestic abuse.
00:36:01.010 --> 00:36:03.170
There's three types that I consider in a category.
00:36:03.250 --> 00:36:10.850
There might be more, but those are the three that I had experienced: spiritual welfare, psychological warfare, and physical attack.
00:36:11.090 --> 00:36:18.050
Um and, you know, we need understanding, we need, we need help sometimes, right?
00:36:18.530 --> 00:36:22.370
Some of these things have driven men into suicide and many other things.
00:36:22.690 --> 00:36:23.730
Men love hard.
00:36:23.890 --> 00:36:31.650
A good man, a good man will love hard, and a good man will stay as long as he possibly can, even in some of the worst conditions.
00:36:31.890 --> 00:36:37.890
I've seen men stay through being cheated on, being dogged out, being abused, and everything else, right?
00:36:38.050 --> 00:36:40.289
I've tried to stay as long as I can.
00:36:40.370 --> 00:36:43.090
I was in a one, I was in a 20-year relationship one time.
00:36:43.250 --> 00:36:46.769
And so people out there saying I'm a jigglo, no, 20 years.
00:36:47.090 --> 00:36:48.769
I did a 20-year sentence.
00:36:49.090 --> 00:36:54.610
You know, and so but the point I'm making is the enemy could be there.
00:36:54.690 --> 00:37:08.690
And if you are so caught up that you become codependent on that toxicity and you become codependent on the abuse, it can lure you into thinking you need you need to stay.
00:37:08.850 --> 00:37:19.730
But the fact of the matter is, for our own personal sanctity, our own health, our own psychological well-being, there are some situations where you need to find the strength and the courage to walk away.
00:37:19.890 --> 00:37:20.289
Yeah.
00:37:20.530 --> 00:37:25.570
And so, you know, I've been in some relationships where I found the courage to be able to do that.
00:37:25.730 --> 00:37:28.850
The only problem was I got back with more enemies again.
00:37:29.170 --> 00:37:29.490
Yeah.
00:37:29.730 --> 00:37:30.050
You know?
00:37:30.289 --> 00:37:34.370
Well, that's why we're doing the date your timeline, because you're not gonna know in the beginning.
00:37:34.450 --> 00:37:35.410
Yeah, you know.
00:37:35.570 --> 00:37:41.010
Um you're not gonna, you're not gonna know like right away, but there's certain things you can figure out.
00:37:41.170 --> 00:37:49.650
Like, you know, um, I I recalled there was another situation, and I'm talking about, oh my gosh, it was great.
00:37:49.730 --> 00:37:51.490
This we were in alignment.
00:37:51.650 --> 00:37:55.410
I thought, you know, and I'm like, I think I'm gonna do this, you know.
00:37:55.570 --> 00:37:59.090
Uh, you know, we had been together a couple months, no problems.
00:37:59.490 --> 00:38:02.289
And then out of the blue, we weren't even arguing.
00:38:02.450 --> 00:38:16.850
Um, and they were speaking, and I didn't, I interjected, I interrupted, you know, um, interjected, and the response I got was a complete like attack.
00:38:16.930 --> 00:38:37.970
Like, how dare you interrupt me, you know, and it was so bad, and they and we were on a FaceTime, and the person like came towards me on the phone, and I looked at the phone and he was so angry, and it was so out of the blue, I just started laughing.
00:38:38.050 --> 00:38:38.769
I'm like, okay.
00:38:42.450 --> 00:38:48.450
So, but I'm on FaceTime, so because he was like, you like he's like walking towards me.
00:38:48.690 --> 00:38:49.490
I was like, What are you gonna do?
00:38:49.650 --> 00:38:50.450
Come through the phone, you know.
00:38:52.050 --> 00:39:00.450
Right, you're gonna teleport, you know, like but I was like, I'm I was like, you know what?
00:39:00.850 --> 00:39:01.650
I'm good.
00:39:01.730 --> 00:39:05.730
You know, I'm sorry I had a bad day, you know, it wasn't that wasn't me.
00:39:05.810 --> 00:39:10.850
And my problem, the problem that I had with it was that we weren't even arguing.
00:39:11.010 --> 00:39:14.850
We were having a simple conversation, and I may have interjected.
00:39:14.930 --> 00:39:24.450
And if you're that upset that you're walking towards the phone and we're miles away, thousands of miles away from each other, what could have happened in front of me?
00:39:24.769 --> 00:39:27.090
And right there, I was done.
00:39:27.330 --> 00:39:28.610
Like that's all it took.
00:39:28.690 --> 00:39:29.570
And he was so surprised.
00:39:29.810 --> 00:39:33.090
He was like, Oh my gosh, what are you a you know, passenger princess?
00:39:33.170 --> 00:39:35.970
You can't take me and yelled at, and I'm like, you know what?
00:39:36.210 --> 00:39:42.130
No, I don't want anyone that can look at me and yell at me for absolutely no reason.
00:39:42.769 --> 00:39:53.410
Like we can, I I can even understand, like, if you know, you know, emotions are up, even that, you know, you might, I'm not saying you're never gonna yell in a relationship or raise your voice, but like that.
00:39:53.730 --> 00:39:54.769
Randomly just out of the blue.
00:39:55.010 --> 00:39:58.450
Randomly out of the blue, like you're reprimanding me like a child or something.
00:39:58.610 --> 00:40:04.769
And it was crazy because that's when I was like, oh my God, I keep meeting these overly aggressive people.
00:40:04.850 --> 00:40:06.530
Like, why do they keep showing up?
00:40:07.090 --> 00:40:10.450
And I'm like, what timeline, what frequency am I on?
00:40:10.610 --> 00:40:13.890
And what I realized was they're always gonna show up.
00:40:14.050 --> 00:40:16.370
When you're a light, you're gonna attract everything.
00:40:16.930 --> 00:40:28.690
And so what we would do, and what I would do, and people like myself or you that have been in this situation, those of you that have been in this situation, you're not, it's not that you're attracting the same person, you're track, you're attracting all people.
00:40:29.170 --> 00:40:31.090
You just have to turn on your filters.
00:40:31.410 --> 00:40:33.570
And so I got to filtering them out.
00:40:33.810 --> 00:40:38.530
I'm like, yep, I don't care how much time I put into this, I don't care what it is, I'm out immediately.
00:40:38.690 --> 00:40:44.370
When my deal breaker's there, that you yell at me to that degree, I am, I am out of there.
00:40:44.530 --> 00:40:46.130
We have nothing else to talk about.
00:40:46.289 --> 00:40:51.010
I'm not gonna be sitting here trying to go to counseling with you so you can control your anger management.
00:40:51.250 --> 00:40:52.050
I'm out.
00:40:52.210 --> 00:40:53.170
That's not for me.
00:40:53.250 --> 00:40:54.690
I'm done with that timeline.
00:40:54.850 --> 00:41:02.530
And then I ended up being with someone else that had another uh vice, end up being an alcoholic, but was the most amazing person.
00:41:02.610 --> 00:41:03.650
We never argued not once.
00:41:03.730 --> 00:41:06.450
This was the most loving, caring person you could ever meet.
00:41:06.610 --> 00:41:09.730
Come to find out they're an alcoholic after a few months of being with them.
00:41:09.810 --> 00:41:10.930
I said, you know what?
00:41:11.090 --> 00:41:13.250
No matter how great it looks, I'm out.
00:41:13.410 --> 00:41:17.010
And that's what you have to do when it shows up, because it'll show up because it's familiar, right?
00:41:17.170 --> 00:41:18.130
Subconsciously.
00:41:18.289 --> 00:41:30.450
But when you see those signs that are similar, that keep showing up, those patterns, I would say, that show up in your life with different people and different bodies, then you decide to know.
00:41:30.530 --> 00:41:34.530
Because you're telling the universe, okay, I'm tired of being on this time, I'm tired of this reality.
00:41:34.690 --> 00:41:36.050
Okay, so you get that out of there.
00:41:36.130 --> 00:41:40.130
And then you start focusing, okay, what is your what are your goals in life?
00:41:40.530 --> 00:41:41.490
Who are you in life?
00:41:41.650 --> 00:41:49.570
And you know, and then you'll start seeing those things and merge because you can meet people that are you're not alignment that that have the same goals and focus as you.
00:41:49.890 --> 00:41:54.450
But you have to, you know, really, like I said, know yourself, assess the situation.
00:41:54.690 --> 00:41:59.570
Now, another thing I wanted to talk about, just to touch on what you said.
00:41:59.810 --> 00:42:07.330
You asked a question, and a lot of people have this question is how can a person be so cruel?
00:42:07.890 --> 00:42:17.170
How can a person intentionally seek out someone and just pretend just to finally get them and just be deplorable?
00:42:17.330 --> 00:42:26.930
Yeah, you know, like you know, just because you know you, I don't know you, I know me, but you know you have these problems, you know you have these addictions, you know you have these things.
00:42:27.090 --> 00:42:32.690
You're gonna seek out someone that doesn't even drink alcohol, and you know that you're turning up nightly, you know?
00:42:32.769 --> 00:42:32.930
Yeah.
00:42:33.250 --> 00:42:35.250
So why do you seek those people?
00:42:35.330 --> 00:42:38.289
Why do you and then I was all I had those questions too.
00:42:38.769 --> 00:42:53.570
And then I was talking to uh a client one day, and she said that she was, she was a um, I think it was a she was a um uh uh detective.
00:42:53.970 --> 00:42:59.890
And it was her first day on the, you know, her first day on the um job.
00:43:00.050 --> 00:43:05.890
And she was with another detective, and they found somebody that had gone in and like murdered their whole family.
00:43:06.050 --> 00:43:07.890
It was really horrific, right?
00:43:08.130 --> 00:43:12.930
And she because she was so like how she kept asking the detective, how could someone do this?
00:43:13.090 --> 00:43:14.050
How could someone do this?
00:43:14.210 --> 00:43:20.050
And he looked at her and said, the day that you understand is the day you become them.
00:43:20.930 --> 00:43:22.850
So it's not for you to keep asking why.
00:43:23.250 --> 00:43:27.490
It's not for you to keep asking or trying to figure out why these people are this way.
00:43:27.650 --> 00:43:28.930
Why did they come into my life?
00:43:29.090 --> 00:43:30.130
Why did these things happen?
00:43:30.289 --> 00:43:31.330
Why did they destroy my life?
00:43:31.490 --> 00:43:33.410
Why did they why are they doing these things to me?
00:43:33.570 --> 00:43:35.330
You're not at that's not for you to ask.
00:43:35.890 --> 00:43:39.410
It's for you to say, thank you, that I'm aware.
00:43:39.570 --> 00:43:40.769
Yeah, that I see it.
00:43:41.090 --> 00:43:54.289
And thank you, God, for another day to choose different, choose a different person, even if you can't in that situation and at that moment start preparing your exit, whatever that looks like for you.
00:43:54.530 --> 00:43:57.890
But recognize who's the enemy and who's for you.
00:43:57.970 --> 00:44:04.370
And I can guarantee you the person that's insulting you, the person that every time you turn around, nothing you do is good enough.
00:44:04.610 --> 00:44:14.850
No matter how much you give, no matter how much you fight, no matter how much you negotiate, no matter how many times you go to therapy, no matter how many times you hug, you hold, you give, it's not good enough.
00:44:15.650 --> 00:44:17.810
That is not the person for you.
00:44:18.050 --> 00:44:28.930
That is literally an enemy, which is an enemy to your success, an enemy of your love, an enemy of your light, an enemy of your health, an enemy of your future.
00:44:29.250 --> 00:44:38.690
And looking at that person and looking at them and understanding when you're in love, love and not limerence, you have to look up limerence, okay?
00:44:38.769 --> 00:44:44.370
Because that is not love, that is attachment and excitement and recognizing.
00:44:44.450 --> 00:44:48.450
Because remember, you're in a relationship and you'll feel like I can't live without this person.
00:44:48.610 --> 00:44:52.850
Remember that they they say that being in love is equivalent to being addicted to cocaine.
00:44:53.170 --> 00:44:57.170
It creates the same chemical in your brain and addiction to that other person.
00:44:57.490 --> 00:44:59.170
So it's not always love.
00:44:59.250 --> 00:45:01.890
Love is a The highest vibration we operate from.
00:45:02.130 --> 00:45:06.450
It's very important to be in love and find love and fall in love because that's where you manifest from.
00:45:06.530 --> 00:45:07.810
That's where we create from.
00:45:08.050 --> 00:45:09.730
And we should be in love.
00:45:09.890 --> 00:45:17.730
But when you're with someone and it's a pattern, a pattern of toxicity over and over again, that's when you know this isn't it.
00:45:18.289 --> 00:45:19.330
It's it's time to get out.
00:45:19.490 --> 00:45:20.610
I'm sleeping with the enemy.
00:45:20.850 --> 00:45:20.930
Right.
00:45:21.090 --> 00:45:21.730
It's not happening.
00:45:22.130 --> 00:45:22.930
Yeah, facts.
00:45:23.570 --> 00:45:24.450
Absolute facts.
00:45:24.690 --> 00:45:32.530
That when you begin to see that mask crack, yeah, you gotta recognize that's the beginning of the mask completely disintegrating.
00:45:32.690 --> 00:45:32.930
Yeah.
00:45:33.090 --> 00:45:36.930
You know, and uh it's unfortunate because we put so much energy into these relationships.
00:45:37.090 --> 00:45:37.250
Yeah.
00:45:37.410 --> 00:45:43.250
And when you put energy and effort in, you feel like you're giving up on all that you wasted time.
00:45:43.410 --> 00:45:43.730
Yeah.
00:45:43.970 --> 00:45:46.130
But you gotta realize you're gonna waste more time.
00:45:46.450 --> 00:45:46.930
More time.
00:45:47.250 --> 00:45:47.490
Right?
00:45:47.650 --> 00:45:47.890
Yeah.
00:45:48.050 --> 00:45:54.289
So you can stay in and you gotta say, well, look, it's only been, I don't know, six months, a year.
00:45:54.610 --> 00:45:59.330
Okay, but if I keep fighting for this, it's gonna be five, ten years of this.
00:45:59.650 --> 00:46:00.210
Ten years.
00:46:00.370 --> 00:46:00.850
Yeah.
00:46:01.090 --> 00:46:03.170
And so sometimes you just gotta cut your losses.
00:46:03.250 --> 00:46:10.530
So you gotta know when to hold them, know when to hold them, know when to walk away, and know when to run.
00:46:10.930 --> 00:46:15.410
You better count your money when you're sitting at the table.
00:46:15.730 --> 00:46:20.210
There'll be time enough for counting when the dealing's done.
00:46:25.490 --> 00:46:26.370
Anyway.
00:46:28.450 --> 00:46:29.490
That's for the old heads.
00:46:29.570 --> 00:46:30.289
They know what a power is.
00:46:32.370 --> 00:46:33.650
Super old.
00:46:35.410 --> 00:46:37.010
That's for the grandparents in the house.
00:46:37.250 --> 00:46:38.610
For the grandparents in the house.
00:46:38.930 --> 00:46:39.250
Okay.
00:46:39.730 --> 00:46:44.530
And look, grandparents, I don't care how old you are, I don't care what it is, you can still find love.
00:46:44.690 --> 00:46:45.730
It does not matter.
00:46:45.890 --> 00:46:48.210
Everything you're searching for is searching for you.
00:46:48.610 --> 00:46:52.370
Okay, let's make this world a better place and start loving each other again.
00:46:52.610 --> 00:46:53.570
Yeah, for real.
00:46:53.730 --> 00:46:54.289
Absolutely.
00:46:54.530 --> 00:47:01.250
Yeah, you know, and I I like what you said about, you know, the moment you the moment you begin to ruminate too much on the why.
00:47:01.490 --> 00:47:01.810
Yeah.
00:47:02.050 --> 00:47:08.450
You know, then you kind of take on that energy of the why and you become obsessed with that.
00:47:08.530 --> 00:47:08.690
Yeah.
00:47:08.850 --> 00:47:13.010
And it can take you over that same dark energy, that same low frequency and vibration.
00:47:13.090 --> 00:47:16.930
It can kind of transform you because you're trying to understand their energy.
00:47:17.010 --> 00:47:19.570
And the only way to understand something is to get to its level.
00:47:19.730 --> 00:47:20.210
Yeah.
00:47:20.530 --> 00:47:21.010
Right?
00:47:21.250 --> 00:47:24.050
And so you can ask it, but then just release it.
00:47:24.210 --> 00:47:26.210
Because you'll never get it.
00:47:26.370 --> 00:47:28.450
You'll never fully understand because you're not that.
00:47:28.610 --> 00:47:28.850
Not that.
00:47:29.250 --> 00:47:30.530
And that wasn't your timeline.
00:47:30.690 --> 00:47:31.010
Yeah.
00:47:31.250 --> 00:47:35.410
And so, you know, it's an it's uh such an important thing, you know.
00:47:35.570 --> 00:47:43.250
Um, there are some people that will be angry uh if your, you know, if your income is higher than theirs.
00:47:43.410 --> 00:47:43.730
Yeah.
00:47:43.970 --> 00:47:44.289
Right?
00:47:44.450 --> 00:47:45.170
That will happen.
00:47:45.330 --> 00:47:46.690
And and it happens vice versa.
00:47:46.850 --> 00:47:48.690
Man, woman, woman, man, doesn't really matter.
00:47:48.850 --> 00:47:49.250
Yeah.
00:47:49.410 --> 00:47:51.730
And some people see you as competition.
00:47:51.970 --> 00:47:52.289
Yeah.
00:47:52.450 --> 00:48:00.530
There are relationships where the spouse or the partner is in competition instead of collaboration, which doesn't make any sense.
00:48:00.930 --> 00:48:01.650
No sense.
00:48:01.890 --> 00:48:02.289
Right?
00:48:02.530 --> 00:48:10.610
And so I know that women, you know, making stronger income than um their partner, it intimidates them in some kind of weird way.
00:48:10.769 --> 00:48:11.090
Yeah.
00:48:11.250 --> 00:48:12.210
Hell, free me.
00:48:12.289 --> 00:48:13.170
I don't give a damn.
00:48:15.250 --> 00:48:17.650
Oh no, I want to say this and that.
00:48:18.130 --> 00:48:19.890
It is, yeah, it is a problem.
00:48:20.130 --> 00:48:20.690
It's a problem.
00:48:21.010 --> 00:48:23.410
You know, that brings me to one point.
00:48:23.570 --> 00:48:25.890
I don't, oh my gosh, I have this.
00:48:26.210 --> 00:48:28.050
So I I dated this guy.
00:48:28.130 --> 00:48:29.570
I was, I didn't date this guy.
00:48:29.810 --> 00:48:31.010
Okay, this one guy.
00:48:31.090 --> 00:48:38.850
And I'm saying this so people can kind of share the stories, you know, um, so people can kind of understand when you're not in alignment with the person.
00:48:39.010 --> 00:48:51.250
I had a gentleman find out how much I made, and it was a couple gentlemen, but this particular story, a gentleman found out how much I made, and he was like, I don't want to date a woman that makes more than me, you know?
00:48:51.330 --> 00:48:52.850
And I was like, okay, well, how much do you make?
00:48:52.930 --> 00:48:55.250
And he's like, I make$150,000 a year.
00:48:55.570 --> 00:48:57.010
And I was like, okay.
00:48:57.250 --> 00:48:59.250
And he was, I was like, well, why not?
00:48:59.410 --> 00:49:02.690
He was like, because I want to be the provider for our family.
00:49:02.930 --> 00:49:06.930
I want to be the one that, you know, causes shots in the house.
00:49:07.090 --> 00:49:10.210
And I was like, well, I was like, but money you think causes shots?
00:49:10.289 --> 00:49:14.289
And he was like, I'm just saying I'm supposed to be the person everyone lean leans on.
00:49:14.450 --> 00:49:17.250
So I thought it was, you know, admirable, right?
00:49:17.330 --> 00:49:19.490
So I was like, well, let's think of it a different way.
00:49:19.650 --> 00:49:23.490
I was like, okay, let's say you have an house, uh, she's a housewife, you have the kids, everything.
00:49:23.650 --> 00:49:27.810
And I'm assuming she's gonna be running a household, taking the kids to the PTO meetings and things like that.
00:49:27.890 --> 00:49:29.490
And he's like, Yeah, she's gonna handle all that.
00:49:29.730 --> 00:49:32.289
I was right, and you want her to, what other attributes?
00:49:32.370 --> 00:49:33.730
He's like, Well, I want her to be able to cook.
00:49:33.810 --> 00:49:35.730
And I was like, Yeah, you want her to be able to cook?
00:49:35.810 --> 00:49:36.370
Okay, great.
00:49:36.530 --> 00:49:39.490
I was like, and let's probably be really good at baking, right?
00:49:39.570 --> 00:49:45.970
And he's like, Yeah, he goes, Oh yeah, she definitely has to be really good at baking pound cake in particular.
00:49:46.130 --> 00:49:47.010
And I was like, okay.
00:49:47.170 --> 00:49:55.010
I was like, so let's say she's going to these PTO meetings and she's providing these, let's say, cookies, all right, these amazing cookies.
00:49:55.250 --> 00:50:01.730
And one day, you know, um, the one of the husbands of the wives are there and they try these cookies.
00:50:01.890 --> 00:50:12.370
And he's uh a uh department head at hostess, and he falls in love with these cookies, and she comes back and she's like they want to buy my recipe.
00:50:13.010 --> 00:50:15.970
And this recipe is worth two and a half million dollars.
00:50:16.769 --> 00:50:17.730
What do you do then?
00:50:17.970 --> 00:50:20.930
Yeah, and he's like, What do you mean?
00:50:21.010 --> 00:50:24.289
I didn't what I don't I don't what are you talking about?
00:50:24.370 --> 00:50:25.010
That would never happen.
00:50:25.090 --> 00:50:26.050
I'm like, but it could.
00:50:26.210 --> 00:50:32.530
I said, and the reason it could is because relationship and marriage is not about roles, okay?
00:50:33.090 --> 00:50:35.650
Our income comes from source, okay.
00:50:35.730 --> 00:50:40.289
And we understand that we go to source provides, right?
00:50:40.530 --> 00:50:45.810
If source provides and you become one with something, source is gonna find the easiest path of what your dreams are.
00:50:45.890 --> 00:50:48.050
And if it's through your mate, then it's gonna come through your mate.
00:50:48.210 --> 00:50:58.370
If it comes through you because it's for your whole family, if you say, I want my family to be this, this may not come through you, it may come through your wife, it may come through your wife's cookies, and you have to be open to that.
00:50:58.530 --> 00:51:01.010
Yeah, you know, you don't have to be, but what do you do then?
00:51:01.170 --> 00:51:06.450
Is the dynamic of your relationship gonna change because now she's the hostess with the most?
00:51:08.930 --> 00:51:12.690
You know, like what do you I just have my own little dad joke.
00:51:12.850 --> 00:51:13.170
Oh, yeah.
00:51:13.410 --> 00:51:19.890
And so anyway, so I'm just saying, and and so you know, he got quiet and he was like, you know, that's really something to think about.
00:51:20.130 --> 00:51:28.850
And so, and that's how I look at us as a whole, as humans, and where we're evolving to, and the difference, relationships are now today more partnerships than roles.
00:51:29.170 --> 00:51:33.090
And it's okay to, you know, be at home and do there's nothing wrong.
00:51:33.250 --> 00:51:43.250
We all have, you know, our contribution, but really to be honest with you, abundance is from source, you know, and being open to that and not the roles and all those things.
00:51:43.330 --> 00:51:48.130
And like you said, and then when you understand that you're not jealous, you're like, oh, this is what our household brought in.
00:51:48.370 --> 00:51:48.690
Exactly.
00:51:48.850 --> 00:51:49.090
You know?
00:51:49.330 --> 00:51:50.210
Yeah, exactly.
00:51:50.450 --> 00:51:59.410
I think when guys do that, uh, or even when women do that, if you know, because some women, the guy, some women, you know, don't want the guy to make more than them.
00:51:59.490 --> 00:52:00.930
I was in a situation like that.
00:52:01.090 --> 00:52:01.490
Yeah.
00:52:01.730 --> 00:52:04.850
Um, it has to do with power and control.
00:52:05.650 --> 00:52:05.970
Yeah.
00:52:06.210 --> 00:52:14.690
They kind of feel like, okay, you know, if you if you have kids, right, and you you buy your kids cell phones and they're on your plan, if they act up, you turn their phones off as a punishment.
00:52:14.850 --> 00:52:15.170
Yeah.
00:52:15.330 --> 00:52:17.010
They don't want to get their phones turned off.
00:52:17.410 --> 00:52:19.250
They want to be the one turning off the phone.
00:52:19.570 --> 00:52:23.970
I paid for this house, I did this, I did that, me, me, me, you know, that kind of energy.
00:52:24.289 --> 00:52:27.010
And so it comes down to more, it's not really the money.
00:52:27.090 --> 00:52:33.410
It's like, well, if this person is making X amount of money, then they're perceiving that person has more power over me.
00:52:33.810 --> 00:52:37.410
And I don't want this person to have that power over me.
00:52:37.650 --> 00:52:43.970
So I want to make more than them so I can tell them what to do and what's gonna happen, what ain't gonna happen in my house, you know, that kind of thing.
00:52:44.130 --> 00:52:45.410
That's really what it boils down to.
00:52:45.570 --> 00:52:46.769
Again, that's not your timeline.
00:52:47.010 --> 00:52:50.690
Yeah, and that that's just the opposite of what being as one means.
00:52:50.850 --> 00:52:56.850
If you're at one in everything else and you decide to get married to a person, why is it hard when it comes to finances?
00:52:57.330 --> 00:52:58.690
You know, why is it hard to see that?
00:52:58.769 --> 00:53:03.490
Why do you look at them as you know, shining a light on where you haven't gone to yet?
00:53:03.730 --> 00:53:05.490
Why can't it be a we, you know?
00:53:06.289 --> 00:53:15.810
She might uh, you know, uh she might in that particular situation, you you know, you're into you know equities and mergers and real estate and everything in development.
00:53:15.970 --> 00:53:18.769
You might show them how you could turn his hundred and fifty thousand into a million, right?
00:53:19.010 --> 00:53:19.810
Into ten million.
00:53:20.050 --> 00:53:20.370
Right.
00:53:20.530 --> 00:53:30.370
You know, but but his his uh his innate internal vibration was on control and domination to where I can call the shots.
00:53:30.530 --> 00:53:30.769
Yeah.
00:53:30.930 --> 00:53:34.210
And if I'm not the shot caller, I don't want to be the baller.
00:53:34.450 --> 00:53:35.410
And so, you know.
00:53:37.810 --> 00:53:39.650
We're on a roll today, baby.
00:53:40.210 --> 00:53:41.810
Now, we aren't perfect either.
00:53:41.890 --> 00:53:45.330
We've we've uh you know had a couple of small tips.
00:53:47.810 --> 00:53:48.930
What is that like?
00:53:49.650 --> 00:53:51.010
Our first argument.
00:53:51.250 --> 00:53:52.210
Oh my gosh.
00:53:52.530 --> 00:53:52.850
Okay.
00:53:56.130 --> 00:53:57.890
Now, okay.
00:53:58.130 --> 00:54:04.210
Years ago, I think on the last podcast, if you guys didn't watch it, go back and watch it so you can understand what I'm talking about.
00:54:04.450 --> 00:54:13.170
Many years ago when I first was watching Billy Carson and things like that, and I was looking, I ended up looking, I'm like, God, he's so smart.
00:54:13.330 --> 00:54:14.530
I was single at the time.
00:54:14.610 --> 00:54:17.890
I was like, I wonder what it'd be like to be married to him.
00:54:18.690 --> 00:54:19.970
Someone that's smart.
00:54:20.450 --> 00:54:21.570
So great.
00:54:22.930 --> 00:54:24.289
Little did I know.
00:54:25.090 --> 00:54:26.850
I was gonna find out.
00:54:27.650 --> 00:54:39.170
And so fast forward, and the within the first uh, probably like what was our like we had been dating probably like three, four months or whatever, and I'm here, maybe even longer.
00:54:39.490 --> 00:54:42.530
And we finally had our first argument.
00:54:43.490 --> 00:54:49.490
And so throughout the first few months, Billy would say little things, right?
00:54:49.650 --> 00:54:52.289
Like, oh, you're gonna eat that?
00:54:54.930 --> 00:54:56.210
You're gonna eat that?
00:54:56.530 --> 00:54:57.730
I'm like, yeah.
00:54:57.890 --> 00:55:00.210
And then I'm like in doubt, should I eat?
00:55:00.450 --> 00:55:06.450
It's like, you know, I thought, like everybody in my family around me knows that I eat super healthy and all that stuff.
00:55:06.530 --> 00:55:09.170
But I Billy knows the science behind everything.
00:55:09.410 --> 00:55:12.370
He's like, vegetables aren't just vegetables, you know.
00:55:13.810 --> 00:55:22.050
So I'm like, and so I'll be sitting there and we're just talking or eating, and I'm like, babe, they're just vegetables.
00:55:23.490 --> 00:55:26.210
So finally, one day, I just got sick of it.
00:55:26.289 --> 00:55:27.250
I'm like, dude.
00:55:30.930 --> 00:55:32.210
We're in the kitchen.
00:55:32.450 --> 00:55:39.490
I got my food and he was walking around doing his thing, you know, and he's happy, he's doing his thing, and then he says, and I'm about to eat something.
00:55:39.570 --> 00:55:45.090
He goes, Oh babe, you gonna eat that?
00:55:45.330 --> 00:55:47.970
I'm like, listen, could you not?
00:55:48.530 --> 00:55:55.330
I said, I do not converse about the decomposing course on your plate.
00:55:56.850 --> 00:55:57.410
Ever.
00:55:58.289 --> 00:56:00.769
Can you stop talking about my dead vegetables?
00:56:02.690 --> 00:56:11.890
God so he started saying no, but I'm just telling you, because just because you're vegan doesn't mean you're healthy and then you should start going on and on.
00:56:12.130 --> 00:56:19.730
And then he goes, you know, plants can feel like what?
00:56:20.690 --> 00:56:35.730
Yeah, I mean, I'm like, okay, don't pretend like you give a damn about what happened to a potato before I ate it.
00:56:36.610 --> 00:56:41.970
And so he's like, no, seriously, you, you know, so he's going on the line.
00:56:42.050 --> 00:56:45.410
So we're, you know, kind of starting, then it starts escalating, right?
00:56:45.490 --> 00:56:46.530
It's now it's escalating.
00:56:46.610 --> 00:56:49.330
Now it's a real argument because now I'm offended.
00:56:49.570 --> 00:57:02.289
Because when he said, he finally goes, he goes, it is the same, and he breaks this down and he goes, vegans have mental illness.
00:57:02.370 --> 00:57:03.490
It's a mental illness.
00:57:05.090 --> 00:57:09.410
It is a mental illness, and I said, But don't forget, I said I had it too.
00:57:09.570 --> 00:57:10.610
No, no, you didn't say that.
00:57:10.850 --> 00:57:11.250
I did say that.
00:57:11.730 --> 00:57:13.330
He was like, Vegans have mental illnesses.
00:57:14.210 --> 00:57:15.170
And I had it too.
00:57:15.330 --> 00:57:19.730
So this way down in the ancestors came up.
00:57:21.570 --> 00:57:23.410
Like, black woman rides.
00:57:24.769 --> 00:57:26.610
Damn, damn, damn.
00:57:28.450 --> 00:57:31.250
I said, Did you just call me crazy?
00:57:31.490 --> 00:57:34.690
Oh, never call a woman crazy, okay, guys.
00:57:35.170 --> 00:57:37.090
Oh man, here we go.
00:57:37.250 --> 00:57:38.850
I said, You just call me crazy.
00:57:39.010 --> 00:57:39.570
Oh Lord.
00:57:39.730 --> 00:57:40.610
I said, okay.
00:57:40.769 --> 00:57:46.530
I said, I'll tell you what, Miss Billy Parkinson's animals feel since you so cared about the animals' feelings.
00:57:46.769 --> 00:57:51.010
I said, are you saying that animals' feelings are equivalent to a baby calf?
00:57:52.210 --> 00:57:55.570
I was like, no, I'm just saying it's y'all vegans do this.
00:57:56.130 --> 00:57:57.250
And so he's going on and on.
00:57:57.650 --> 00:58:03.090
And then I'm like, and then he goes, Listen, the universe is made to consume.
00:58:03.250 --> 00:58:06.530
And I said, Well, could you would you consume a human baby?
00:58:06.769 --> 00:58:08.850
And so I'm going way left, right?
00:58:09.010 --> 00:58:09.810
He goes, What?
00:58:09.890 --> 00:58:10.930
I was like, exactly.
00:58:11.090 --> 00:58:12.130
It's not the same.
00:58:12.289 --> 00:58:14.769
You're not gonna consume a human baby.
00:58:15.010 --> 00:58:17.890
It's not the same as consuming a frickin' potato, Billy.
00:58:20.530 --> 00:58:21.570
And so he goes.
00:58:21.890 --> 00:58:23.250
These are the kind of arguments we had.
00:58:23.490 --> 00:58:26.690
So then he goes, he goes deeper into this argument, right?
00:58:26.769 --> 00:58:32.450
And then he goes, the something with the universe and the holographic, da-da-da-da.
00:58:32.690 --> 00:58:37.330
And if you break down everything is made of atoms, and then atoms, when you break down the atoms, and they do this.
00:58:37.730 --> 00:58:40.050
So listen, I'm losing the argument, okay?
00:58:40.289 --> 00:58:41.170
I'm losing bad.
00:58:41.650 --> 00:58:43.730
I don't, like, what are we even talking about?
00:58:43.890 --> 00:58:46.450
So I said, okay, Billy, what are atoms made of?
00:58:46.610 --> 00:58:48.289
We're talking about quarks and muons in the case.
00:58:48.450 --> 00:58:49.170
I said, all right.
00:58:49.330 --> 00:58:51.010
I said, what are atoms made of?
00:58:51.170 --> 00:58:52.289
Billy answers.
00:58:53.330 --> 00:58:57.090
And I'm like, okay, yeah, they're made of this, this, this.
00:58:57.330 --> 00:58:59.970
And I'm like, all right, what's that made of?
00:59:00.289 --> 00:59:06.850
And then he's like, oh, well, and you take that, and then it's and I'm like, I can't even pronounce these darn words.
00:59:06.930 --> 00:59:10.050
I'm still trying to pronounce the halls of Mimenti, okay?
00:59:10.289 --> 00:59:11.650
So then he goes in.
00:59:12.050 --> 00:59:14.610
And then I said, oh yeah, okay.
00:59:14.850 --> 00:59:16.050
But what's that made up?
00:59:16.210 --> 00:59:20.450
And then he goes, well, then it all goes into a black hole in the black hole.
00:59:20.530 --> 00:59:26.930
And to be honest with you, now that I think about it, I don't know who created this universe because I wouldn't have made it like this, okay?
00:59:27.010 --> 00:59:28.289
It's really made really bad.
00:59:28.370 --> 00:59:29.170
I would have just did it.
00:59:29.330 --> 00:59:32.850
I said, are you?
00:59:33.090 --> 00:59:37.970
I said, are you are you questioning God?
00:59:38.930 --> 00:59:40.050
God's not even good enough.
00:59:40.130 --> 00:59:41.490
Oh, I ain't got to smell bottles of cancer.
00:59:44.370 --> 00:59:45.970
And then I was like, I'm done.
00:59:46.130 --> 00:59:46.769
Whatever.
00:59:46.930 --> 00:59:49.650
I was like, I want to eat and pizza and I'm doing everything.
00:59:49.730 --> 00:59:52.370
So I barred, I charge upstairs, right?
00:59:52.530 --> 01:00:00.370
I'm so mad, you know, because I'm like, he just called me crazy because I'm vegan, you know, and I want some vegetables.
01:00:00.530 --> 01:00:02.850
Yeah, they're expensive, but geez.
01:00:03.250 --> 01:00:04.610
And so I'm laying in bed.
01:00:05.010 --> 01:00:09.090
So then he comes up, you know, and I'm frustrated.
01:00:09.170 --> 01:00:13.970
I'm like, rethinking, like, I don't even know, like, I can't even eat vegetables.
01:00:14.130 --> 01:00:16.610
Like, what are we doing or whatever, right?
01:00:16.690 --> 01:00:23.010
And so I'm sitting here, I'm looking around at the crystals and everything, and I'm like, whatever.
01:00:23.650 --> 01:00:24.050
Right?
01:00:24.370 --> 01:00:32.690
Billy comes up, climbs in the bed with me, and he goes, baby, I'm sorry.
01:00:33.090 --> 01:00:36.530
I had such a bad experience being vegan, and I'm projected.
01:00:37.090 --> 01:00:46.210
I projected my pain, and I realized I projected my pain and everything that I would on you, and everyone doesn't have that same experience.
01:00:47.410 --> 01:00:55.410
And I looked and I was like, I didn't tell him this, but I was like, oh my God.
01:00:57.890 --> 01:01:13.250
Never in my life have I had a man come up and take accountability and you know, and not, you know, continue on with the argument, but just kind of see himself without me having to go with 10-page text messages.
01:01:13.330 --> 01:01:16.210
Girls, you know y'all be sending them 10-page text messages, right?
01:01:17.250 --> 01:01:19.330
And I didn't have to write a letter or email.
01:01:19.570 --> 01:01:26.850
This is how I really felt, and you know, and he just came up and was like, you know, and then I and I looked at him and I said, you know what?
01:01:27.010 --> 01:01:30.610
I'm, you know, I'm sorry what you went through, and I should be more.
01:01:30.769 --> 01:01:39.090
And what I realized with him, and we talked about it, is that he wasn't judging me for eating my vegetables.
01:01:39.810 --> 01:01:46.930
What I realized with Billy is that he cares so much that he's always worrying about you.
01:01:47.250 --> 01:01:49.890
Like he wants to be the solutionist of everything.
01:01:50.130 --> 01:01:51.890
And you'll notice how he talks, you know?
01:01:52.130 --> 01:01:53.570
And you all get to know him in that way.
01:01:53.650 --> 01:01:54.930
But he's like that personally.
01:01:55.010 --> 01:01:58.289
And it's not coming from a place of disdain or looking down on me.
01:01:58.530 --> 01:02:00.690
It's because he was worried about me.
01:02:00.850 --> 01:02:06.769
He was worried about that outcome being the same as his and making sure, like, okay, and and he would.
01:02:06.930 --> 01:02:08.530
He's like, Do you have enough water?
01:02:08.690 --> 01:02:10.210
Like, do you have enough this?
01:02:10.370 --> 01:02:11.010
Do you have that?
01:02:11.250 --> 01:02:17.730
And actually, I realized, even though the argument was whatever, this is what I asked for.
01:02:17.890 --> 01:02:21.330
I wanted someone that cared about me in every single way.
01:02:21.490 --> 01:02:25.730
And that's what it looked like dating one of the most intelligent men in the freaking world.
01:02:26.050 --> 01:02:26.370
Thank you, man.
01:02:26.690 --> 01:02:27.170
Love you.
01:02:27.410 --> 01:02:27.810
Thank you.
01:02:27.970 --> 01:02:35.810
And I'll tell you real quick before we wrap this up, too, because you know, um, there was another time where we don't really, it wasn't an argument.
01:02:36.690 --> 01:02:42.050
But um I wanted to bring something up to you that I felt was important that I wanted you to understand and see.
01:02:42.130 --> 01:02:44.289
And I brought it up in a very calm way.
01:02:44.450 --> 01:02:45.570
It got you a little triggered.
01:02:45.810 --> 01:02:49.890
It didn't turn into an argument, but you definitely were a little, you know, a little spicy.
01:02:50.210 --> 01:02:53.490
Just gently spicy, not too, not too spicy, right?
01:02:53.890 --> 01:02:55.170
And I was like, oh man.
01:02:55.330 --> 01:03:01.970
Um, but what I did love about that is um not too long after you came to me and you just said, you know what?
01:03:02.130 --> 01:03:03.250
I apologize.
01:03:03.490 --> 01:03:17.650
I um I took that, it got me triggered for whatever reason, and you explained why, and um you realize that it had nothing to do with the conversation, that you I just wanted to be seen and heard and to get a certain understanding on something, and you respected that.
01:03:17.890 --> 01:03:26.210
And you were the first woman in history that I've ever been with that actually took accountability and and did that.
01:03:26.370 --> 01:03:27.970
So I was so stunned.
01:03:28.050 --> 01:03:29.170
I didn't even know what to do with myself.
01:03:29.330 --> 01:03:36.450
The rest of the day, I was walking around looking at the sun, the star, uh counting the different things, you know, looking at my fingerprints, how many fingerprints?
01:03:36.690 --> 01:03:38.050
I didn't know what the hell to do with myself.
01:03:38.289 --> 01:03:39.330
I was completely gone.
01:03:39.410 --> 01:03:40.289
Like I really was gone.
01:03:40.370 --> 01:03:41.250
So I appreciate that.
01:03:41.410 --> 01:03:45.570
It was really so so incredible to experience that.
01:03:45.810 --> 01:03:49.490
Some a woman to come and give accountability and say, I was wrong.
01:03:49.650 --> 01:03:50.610
You actually said I was wrong.
01:03:50.850 --> 01:03:56.289
I was like, I need to go get my hearing checked.
01:03:56.530 --> 01:03:58.210
I was like, what the hell happened?
01:03:58.930 --> 01:03:59.410
Am I in?
01:03:59.650 --> 01:04:02.210
I really am on a different Mandela effect.
01:04:02.289 --> 01:04:03.010
Really happened.
01:04:03.250 --> 01:04:06.930
No, but I appreciate it.
01:04:07.090 --> 01:04:07.970
That was huge for me.
01:04:08.130 --> 01:04:10.130
Like it was, I was like, I was like, yeah, I'm in the right place.
01:04:10.210 --> 01:04:11.890
I'm definitely on the right timeline.
01:04:12.130 --> 01:04:13.410
I was like, thank goodness.
01:04:13.570 --> 01:04:13.890
Yeah.
01:04:14.289 --> 01:04:24.370
Well, there's um one thing I can promise you, okay, always, is that I'm gonna piss you off a lot.
01:04:25.730 --> 01:04:28.530
But I'm a really good apologizer.
01:04:28.769 --> 01:04:33.010
You'll be looking forward to the apologies because I do accept that about myself.
01:04:33.090 --> 01:04:34.610
I'm not perfect, so yeah, yeah.
01:04:34.769 --> 01:04:37.250
But I love oh, also I'm gonna love you too.
01:04:37.810 --> 01:04:39.090
Love you too, baby.
01:04:39.410 --> 01:04:41.810
All right, well, we're gonna call that a wrap, all right?
01:04:41.890 --> 01:04:45.730
Thank you guys for tuning into this episode to update conscious.
01:04:46.130 --> 01:04:49.490
Um, we're actually getting ready to fly to Egypt right now.
01:04:49.570 --> 01:04:51.730
We have to race out of here and get on the airplane.
01:04:51.810 --> 01:04:52.930
So we will see you next time.
01:04:53.090 --> 01:04:53.570
Peace.
01:04:53.890 --> 01:04:55.730
Did you know you are a royalty?
01:04:55.970 --> 01:05:05.410
Last year I hosted a private ball for my personal friends and family, and the evening became more magical than I ever could have imagined.
01:05:05.650 --> 01:05:09.890
People danced, laughed, celebrated, and even fell in love.
01:05:10.210 --> 01:05:24.289
Couples fell more deeply in love, and new friendships were formed, and yes, one unexpected introduction even became a$5 million investment for one of my lucky guests.
01:05:24.530 --> 01:05:34.210
It reminded me that when extraordinary people gather, not just to network, but simply to enjoy life, extraordinary things can happen.
01:05:34.450 --> 01:05:46.690
So this year, I'm opening up the doors and personally inviting you to the first annual House Postor Masquerade Ball, a Bridgerton-inspired royal affair.
01:05:46.850 --> 01:05:56.690
So, this all hallows Eve, leave the ordinary behind and enter a world of mystery, elegance, romance, and joy.
01:05:56.930 --> 01:06:25.890
Arrive in your finest Regency-inspired attire, walk the royal red carpet, dine and dance beneath the chandeliers of the historic Millennium Biltmore Hotel located here in Los Angeles, and celebrate amongst an extraordinary gathering of leaders, visionaries, entrepreneurs, philanthropists, entertainers, athletes, and distinguished members of our society.
01:06:26.130 --> 01:06:38.130
And because October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, a portion of the proceeds will benefit at Nikki's House, a non-for-profit assisting victims finding a path forward.
01:06:38.289 --> 01:06:40.530
So secure your invitation today.
01:06:40.690 --> 01:06:44.370
Click the link below or visit the link in my bio.
01:06:44.610 --> 01:06:46.530
I'll be wearing my crown.
01:06:47.890 --> 01:06:51.410
The only question is will you be wearing yours?
01:06:52.050 --> 01:06:53.730
See you at the ball.
01:07:37.010 --> 01:07:38.130
I love too fast.
01:07:38.450 --> 01:07:39.410
I've stayed too long.
01:07:39.570 --> 01:07:40.690
I've called it love.
01:07:41.010 --> 01:07:41.890
When love was around.
01:07:42.130 --> 01:07:43.410
No one knows my words.
01:07:43.570 --> 01:07:44.530
I know my mind.
01:07:44.769 --> 01:07:45.810
I don't need perfect.
01:07:46.210 --> 01:07:47.250
I need a line.
01:07:47.490 --> 01:07:48.610
No more, maybe.
01:07:50.050 --> 01:07:50.610
No more.
01:07:51.490 --> 01:07:55.730
If I give you my heart, I'll give it with purpose.
01:07:57.730 --> 01:07:58.850
Stay conscious.
01:07:59.170 --> 01:08:01.650
Love with your eyes wide open.
01:08:02.769 --> 01:08:03.650
Stay conscious.
01:08:04.210 --> 01:08:05.330
Say what you mean.
01:08:05.410 --> 01:08:06.130
Don't open.
01:08:07.170 --> 01:08:09.570
Know your heart, know your mind.
01:08:09.650 --> 01:08:10.450
Don't just fuck.
01:08:10.850 --> 01:08:12.530
Choose your timeline.
01:08:12.850 --> 01:08:13.730
Stay conscious.
01:08:13.970 --> 01:08:16.449
Love is better when you know it.
01:08:16.769 --> 01:08:18.689
Uh uh, I made mistakes.
01:08:18.850 --> 01:08:19.810
I played it cool.
01:08:19.970 --> 01:08:22.289
I've lost good love, trying not to lose.
01:08:22.449 --> 01:08:24.930
I learned that chemistry, incompatibility.
01:08:25.010 --> 01:08:27.409
I'm wanting somebody, ain't what them and that'll be.
01:08:27.649 --> 01:08:28.930
So what are you looking for?
01:08:29.170 --> 01:08:29.890
Something real.
01:08:30.050 --> 01:08:31.409
And what are you ready for?
01:08:31.649 --> 01:08:32.529
Something real.
01:08:32.769 --> 01:08:33.970
No more, maybe.
01:08:35.170 --> 01:08:35.649
No more.
01:08:36.689 --> 01:08:41.010
If we give this a chance, let's give it with purpose.
01:08:42.930 --> 01:08:43.970
Stay conscious.
01:08:44.449 --> 01:08:46.850
Love with your eyes wide open.
01:08:47.970 --> 01:08:48.930
Take conscious.
01:08:49.409 --> 01:08:51.569
Say what you mean, don't hope it.
01:08:52.449 --> 01:08:54.369
Know your heart, know your mind.
01:08:54.769 --> 01:08:57.569
Two different roads, one timeline.
01:08:58.050 --> 01:08:58.769
Take conscious.
01:08:59.090 --> 01:08:59.569
Love is better.
01:09:05.409 --> 01:09:08.210
Maybe love isn't finding someone.
01:09:08.449 --> 01:09:10.369
Maybe it's knowing yourself.
01:09:10.609 --> 01:09:13.010
Maybe timing isn't everything.
01:09:13.170 --> 01:09:15.170
But it's sure as hell, hell.
01:09:15.649 --> 01:09:17.730
So I know where I'm going.
01:09:17.970 --> 01:09:20.449
So do I together?
01:09:20.690 --> 01:09:22.930
Then maybe it's time.
01:09:45.650 --> 01:09:49.570
Take conscious love with your eyes wide open.
01:09:50.770 --> 01:09:54.369
Take conscious, no more left unspoken.
01:09:55.170 --> 01:09:57.489
Know your heart, know your mind.
01:09:57.810 --> 01:09:58.770
Choose each other.
01:09:59.090 --> 01:10:00.289
Choose your time.
01:10:00.850 --> 01:10:02.930
Take conscious love is better.
01:10:03.090 --> 01:10:04.130
When you know it.
01:10:04.449 --> 01:10:06.369
Know it, knowing, knowing.
01:10:20.930 --> 01:10:24.289
Take consciousness to your time.
