WEBVTT
00:00:03.839 --> 00:00:10.240
Welcome to The Path Beyond Binge Eating, the show for women who want to stop being pulled back into binge eating patterns.
00:00:10.400 --> 00:00:12.080
I'm your host, Molly Dyer.
00:00:12.400 --> 00:00:13.839
I am so glad you're here today.
00:00:14.000 --> 00:00:23.600
Whether you're listening in your car, out on a walk, or in a quiet moment you found just for yourself, I want you to know that you are welcome here exactly as you are.
00:00:23.839 --> 00:00:33.920
Our conversation today is an invitation, a chance to lean into curiosity about the personal and deeply rooted roles binge eating may be playing in your life.
00:00:34.159 --> 00:00:38.799
You and I both know that binge eating is so much more than a quote unquote behavior.
00:00:38.880 --> 00:00:43.920
And the reasons behind your binge patterns go way deeper than diets or restricting food.
00:00:44.079 --> 00:00:52.399
The truth is that binge eating can fill roles in your life, and those roles run deep because they've been around for a very long time.
00:00:52.719 --> 00:00:58.320
The roles binge eating fills can be social, emotional, psychological, or behavioral.
00:00:58.479 --> 00:01:06.400
And these roles are vast because the pattern that has stayed with you for a long time doesn't sit quietly in one small corner of your life.
00:01:06.560 --> 00:01:11.439
It touches many parts of your life, and maybe in ways you haven't even considered yet.
00:01:11.680 --> 00:01:21.120
As we walk through several examples of these roles, I invite you to pause, notice, take the time and space you need, and go at your own pace.
00:01:21.359 --> 00:01:26.079
If you notice something is connecting within you, just noticing is enough.
00:01:26.239 --> 00:01:31.280
It's a shift toward awareness that opens a space for choice and change.
00:01:31.519 --> 00:01:42.400
Sometimes food can feel like a friend, and when I say that, I understand it may be uncomfortable to hear, especially when this same pattern can also cause so much pain and distress.
00:01:42.640 --> 00:01:47.840
But let's consider what a friend is, because there are some general traits a friend possesses.
00:01:48.079 --> 00:01:49.680
A friend is there for you.
00:01:49.920 --> 00:02:00.239
A friend shows up when you call, every time, no matter what kind of day either of you are having, and even more so if they know you're going through something hard.
00:02:00.480 --> 00:02:05.120
A friend does not care if you show up in yesterday's clothes or haven't showered.
00:02:05.280 --> 00:02:11.280
They welcome you with open arms, a cup of tea or coffee, and you feel seen as you are.
00:02:11.599 --> 00:02:13.439
No masks required.
00:02:13.680 --> 00:02:15.360
Food can feel that way too.
00:02:15.520 --> 00:02:24.639
It can feel like a warm hug, something that wraps around you when nothing else or no one else is available, or when what is available doesn't feel safe enough to reach for.
00:02:24.800 --> 00:02:30.240
If food has felt like one thing that has never let you down, that never left, I hear you.
00:02:30.479 --> 00:02:40.639
You were looking for comfort, and you found something that reliably gave it to you, even if only for a little while, and even if the downside showed up quickly after.
00:02:40.879 --> 00:02:45.439
Binge eating patterns may also fill the role of having something you can predict.
00:02:45.680 --> 00:02:48.560
Life can feel unpredictable in so many ways.
00:02:48.879 --> 00:03:01.599
Relationships shift, our bodies age and change, jobs and money, family and health, none of it comes with guarantees, no matter how hard you try to manage it, plan it, or control it.
00:03:01.759 --> 00:03:04.639
But a binge, in its own way, is predictable.
00:03:04.800 --> 00:03:06.400
You likely know what will happen.
00:03:06.560 --> 00:03:09.919
You have an idea about how it will feel in the moment and after.
00:03:10.159 --> 00:03:21.280
And in a life that can feel like it's constantly moving under your feet, that kind of predictability can feel like solid ground, even when the ground itself may be bumpy and full of potholes.
00:03:21.439 --> 00:03:25.120
You continue to choose it because it's familiar and reliable.
00:03:25.360 --> 00:03:28.400
Food is there, available, always the same.
00:03:28.639 --> 00:03:32.560
When so much else refuses to hold still, it can feel like it's helpful.
00:03:32.719 --> 00:03:46.560
Maybe there's a lot happening in your life, maybe you have young children at home, or maybe you're in a sandwich in the sandwich generation with young adult children who need and rely on you, and aging parents who also need and rely on you.
00:03:46.719 --> 00:03:50.800
Maybe your career, marriage, or relationship is in a season of change.
00:03:51.039 --> 00:03:57.759
When the parts of your life that orient yourself of who you are feel in flux, it's reasonable to want something to anchor to.
00:03:58.000 --> 00:04:07.120
When faced with change, whether good or not, it's a natural response to reach for something familiar, something comforting, predictable, because it feels safe.
00:04:07.360 --> 00:04:14.479
Food or a binge may be something that you hold on to because it may be one of the few spaces that you feel like is truly yours.
00:04:14.639 --> 00:04:18.959
The space that doesn't require you to explain yourself or perform for anyone else.
00:04:19.279 --> 00:04:22.720
Binge eating in secret can become that space.
00:04:23.040 --> 00:04:29.199
No permission needed, no one else's needs to manage, just you, food, and a closed door.
00:04:29.439 --> 00:04:34.959
And since two things can be true at the same time, you may resent it and rely on it just the same.
00:04:35.120 --> 00:04:39.360
You may want it to be gone and feel afraid of what your life would look like without it.
00:04:39.519 --> 00:04:46.240
You might finish a binge already planning tomorrow's restriction, knowing that ultimately it results in another binge.
00:04:46.480 --> 00:04:49.040
That push-pull isn't confusion on your part.
00:04:49.199 --> 00:04:52.480
It's what happens when something has played a role in your life.
00:04:52.639 --> 00:05:00.879
The role I believe is important to mention is the way food and binging can contribute to numbing, tuning out, and disconnecting from yourself.
00:05:01.040 --> 00:05:02.560
So let's walk through this.
00:05:02.800 --> 00:05:03.839
You start eating.
00:05:04.000 --> 00:05:22.240
There's a brief few seconds where you taste the food, maybe a few bites, and your brain releases the feel good chemicals, dopamine, serotonin, and your parasympathetic nervous system is activated and everything calms down and you slowly go into disconnection.
00:05:22.480 --> 00:05:28.560
It may have functioned that way for you, to disconnect and tune out of what may feel like too much.
00:05:28.720 --> 00:05:33.040
And it's okay to need a break when things feel like they're too much.
00:05:33.279 --> 00:05:46.240
This matters because you cannot simply remove something from your life that has been playing a role like a friend or comfort or predictability, stability, and leave nothing left in its place.
00:05:46.480 --> 00:05:58.639
If we only focus on stopping the behavior, we leave the role empty, and an empty role tends to get filled again, often the same way, because the need underneath it never actually left.
00:05:58.879 --> 00:06:03.439
Noticing and naming the role food plays is about understanding what you need.
00:06:03.600 --> 00:06:15.120
So healing can be about building new sources of comfort, new forms of predictability, new kinds of stability, new kinds of connection, and new ways to take a break when you need it.
00:06:15.360 --> 00:06:19.839
You deserve to have those needs met by something that doesn't cost you afterward.
00:06:20.079 --> 00:06:22.240
I'd like to invite you into a practice.
00:06:22.480 --> 00:06:28.720
But as always, you choose whether you practice or not, what works for you or doesn't.
00:06:28.879 --> 00:06:30.879
It is completely up to you.
00:06:31.120 --> 00:06:39.040
So I invite you to gently ask yourself, in curiosity without judgment, is there a role that binge eating has played for you?
00:06:39.199 --> 00:06:42.399
Has food been a friend, a source of predictability?
00:06:42.560 --> 00:06:46.639
Has it helped you to disconnect from a world that felt like too much?
00:06:47.040 --> 00:06:49.279
Maybe it's been several of these things.
00:06:49.600 --> 00:06:53.120
Maybe it's one or many things at different times.
00:06:53.360 --> 00:06:57.120
And it may be something else entirely that we haven't named today.
00:06:57.759 --> 00:07:00.959
Remember, you don't have to answer this with certainty.
00:07:01.199 --> 00:07:05.199
This is about being curious and open to what you notice.
00:07:05.360 --> 00:07:09.839
And if what you notice surprises you or moves you, that's okay.
00:07:10.079 --> 00:07:14.399
That's what the beginning of understanding through awareness is.
00:07:15.279 --> 00:07:16.560
Thanks for listening.
00:07:16.720 --> 00:07:23.199
Be sure to follow the path beyond binge eating on your favorite podcast player so you don't miss any future episodes.
00:07:23.439 --> 00:07:27.439
If today's conversation resonated with you, I'd love to hear about it.
00:07:27.600 --> 00:07:32.240
I'm Molly Dyer, and I'll see you next week on the Path Beyond Ben Cheating.
00:00:03.839 --> 00:00:10.240
Welcome to The Path Beyond Binge Eating, the show for women who want to stop being pulled back into binge eating patterns.
00:00:10.400 --> 00:00:12.080
I'm your host, Molly Dyer.
00:00:12.400 --> 00:00:13.839
I am so glad you're here today.
00:00:14.000 --> 00:00:23.600
Whether you're listening in your car, out on a walk, or in a quiet moment you found just for yourself, I want you to know that you are welcome here exactly as you are.
00:00:23.839 --> 00:00:33.920
Our conversation today is an invitation, a chance to lean into curiosity about the personal and deeply rooted roles binge eating may be playing in your life.
00:00:34.159 --> 00:00:38.799
You and I both know that binge eating is so much more than a quote unquote behavior.
00:00:38.880 --> 00:00:43.920
And the reasons behind your binge patterns go way deeper than diets or restricting food.
00:00:44.079 --> 00:00:52.399
The truth is that binge eating can fill roles in your life, and those roles run deep because they've been around for a very long time.
00:00:52.719 --> 00:00:58.320
The roles binge eating fills can be social, emotional, psychological, or behavioral.
00:00:58.479 --> 00:01:06.400
And these roles are vast because the pattern that has stayed with you for a long time doesn't sit quietly in one small corner of your life.
00:01:06.560 --> 00:01:11.439
It touches many parts of your life, and maybe in ways you haven't even considered yet.
00:01:11.680 --> 00:01:21.120
As we walk through several examples of these roles, I invite you to pause, notice, take the time and space you need, and go at your own pace.
00:01:21.359 --> 00:01:26.079
If you notice something is connecting within you, just noticing is enough.
00:01:26.239 --> 00:01:31.280
It's a shift toward awareness that opens a space for choice and change.
00:01:31.519 --> 00:01:42.400
Sometimes food can feel like a friend, and when I say that, I understand it may be uncomfortable to hear, especially when this same pattern can also cause so much pain and distress.
00:01:42.640 --> 00:01:47.840
But let's consider what a friend is, because there are some general traits a friend possesses.
00:01:48.079 --> 00:01:49.680
A friend is there for you.
00:01:49.920 --> 00:02:00.239
A friend shows up when you call, every time, no matter what kind of day either of you are having, and even more so if they know you're going through something hard.
00:02:00.480 --> 00:02:05.120
A friend does not care if you show up in yesterday's clothes or haven't showered.
00:02:05.280 --> 00:02:11.280
They welcome you with open arms, a cup of tea or coffee, and you feel seen as you are.
00:02:11.599 --> 00:02:13.439
No masks required.
00:02:13.680 --> 00:02:15.360
Food can feel that way too.
00:02:15.520 --> 00:02:24.639
It can feel like a warm hug, something that wraps around you when nothing else or no one else is available, or when what is available doesn't feel safe enough to reach for.
00:02:24.800 --> 00:02:30.240
If food has felt like one thing that has never let you down, that never left, I hear you.
00:02:30.479 --> 00:02:40.639
You were looking for comfort, and you found something that reliably gave it to you, even if only for a little while, and even if the downside showed up quickly after.
00:02:40.879 --> 00:02:45.439
Binge eating patterns may also fill the role of having something you can predict.
00:02:45.680 --> 00:02:48.560
Life can feel unpredictable in so many ways.
00:02:48.879 --> 00:03:01.599
Relationships shift, our bodies age and change, jobs and money, family and health, none of it comes with guarantees, no matter how hard you try to manage it, plan it, or control it.
00:03:01.759 --> 00:03:04.639
But a binge, in its own way, is predictable.
00:03:04.800 --> 00:03:06.400
You likely know what will happen.
00:03:06.560 --> 00:03:09.919
You have an idea about how it will feel in the moment and after.
00:03:10.159 --> 00:03:21.280
And in a life that can feel like it's constantly moving under your feet, that kind of predictability can feel like solid ground, even when the ground itself may be bumpy and full of potholes.
00:03:21.439 --> 00:03:25.120
You continue to choose it because it's familiar and reliable.
00:03:25.360 --> 00:03:28.400
Food is there, available, always the same.
00:03:28.639 --> 00:03:32.560
When so much else refuses to hold still, it can feel like it's helpful.
00:03:32.719 --> 00:03:46.560
Maybe there's a lot happening in your life, maybe you have young children at home, or maybe you're in a sandwich in the sandwich generation with young adult children who need and rely on you, and aging parents who also need and rely on you.
00:03:46.719 --> 00:03:50.800
Maybe your career, marriage, or relationship is in a season of change.
00:03:51.039 --> 00:03:57.759
When the parts of your life that orient yourself of who you are feel in flux, it's reasonable to want something to anchor to.
00:03:58.000 --> 00:04:07.120
When faced with change, whether good or not, it's a natural response to reach for something familiar, something comforting, predictable, because it feels safe.
00:04:07.360 --> 00:04:14.479
Food or a binge may be something that you hold on to because it may be one of the few spaces that you feel like is truly yours.
00:04:14.639 --> 00:04:18.959
The space that doesn't require you to explain yourself or perform for anyone else.
00:04:19.279 --> 00:04:22.720
Binge eating in secret can become that space.
00:04:23.040 --> 00:04:29.199
No permission needed, no one else's needs to manage, just you, food, and a closed door.
00:04:29.439 --> 00:04:34.959
And since two things can be true at the same time, you may resent it and rely on it just the same.
00:04:35.120 --> 00:04:39.360
You may want it to be gone and feel afraid of what your life would look like without it.
00:04:39.519 --> 00:04:46.240
You might finish a binge already planning tomorrow's restriction, knowing that ultimately it results in another binge.
00:04:46.480 --> 00:04:49.040
That push-pull isn't confusion on your part.
00:04:49.199 --> 00:04:52.480
It's what happens when something has played a role in your life.
00:04:52.639 --> 00:05:00.879
The role I believe is important to mention is the way food and binging can contribute to numbing, tuning out, and disconnecting from yourself.
00:05:01.040 --> 00:05:02.560
So let's walk through this.
00:05:02.800 --> 00:05:03.839
You start eating.
00:05:04.000 --> 00:05:22.240
There's a brief few seconds where you taste the food, maybe a few bites, and your brain releases the feel good chemicals, dopamine, serotonin, and your parasympathetic nervous system is activated and everything calms down and you slowly go into disconnection.
00:05:22.480 --> 00:05:28.560
It may have functioned that way for you, to disconnect and tune out of what may feel like too much.
00:05:28.720 --> 00:05:33.040
And it's okay to need a break when things feel like they're too much.
00:05:33.279 --> 00:05:46.240
This matters because you cannot simply remove something from your life that has been playing a role like a friend or comfort or predictability, stability, and leave nothing left in its place.
00:05:46.480 --> 00:05:58.639
If we only focus on stopping the behavior, we leave the role empty, and an empty role tends to get filled again, often the same way, because the need underneath it never actually left.
00:05:58.879 --> 00:06:03.439
Noticing and naming the role food plays is about understanding what you need.
00:06:03.600 --> 00:06:15.120
So healing can be about building new sources of comfort, new forms of predictability, new kinds of stability, new kinds of connection, and new ways to take a break when you need it.
00:06:15.360 --> 00:06:19.839
You deserve to have those needs met by something that doesn't cost you afterward.
00:06:20.079 --> 00:06:22.240
I'd like to invite you into a practice.
00:06:22.480 --> 00:06:28.720
But as always, you choose whether you practice or not, what works for you or doesn't.
00:06:28.879 --> 00:06:30.879
It is completely up to you.
00:06:31.120 --> 00:06:39.040
So I invite you to gently ask yourself, in curiosity without judgment, is there a role that binge eating has played for you?
00:06:39.199 --> 00:06:42.399
Has food been a friend, a source of predictability?
00:06:42.560 --> 00:06:46.639
Has it helped you to disconnect from a world that felt like too much?
00:06:47.040 --> 00:06:49.279
Maybe it's been several of these things.
00:06:49.600 --> 00:06:53.120
Maybe it's one or many things at different times.
00:06:53.360 --> 00:06:57.120
And it may be something else entirely that we haven't named today.
00:06:57.759 --> 00:07:00.959
Remember, you don't have to answer this with certainty.
00:07:01.199 --> 00:07:05.199
This is about being curious and open to what you notice.
00:07:05.360 --> 00:07:09.839
And if what you notice surprises you or moves you, that's okay.
00:07:10.079 --> 00:07:14.399
That's what the beginning of understanding through awareness is.
00:07:15.279 --> 00:07:16.560
Thanks for listening.
00:07:16.720 --> 00:07:23.199
Be sure to follow the path beyond binge eating on your favorite podcast player so you don't miss any future episodes.
00:07:23.439 --> 00:07:27.439
If today's conversation resonated with you, I'd love to hear about it.
00:07:27.600 --> 00:07:32.240
I'm Molly Dyer, and I'll see you next week on the Path Beyond Ben Cheating.
