Finding Your Extra: Friendship, Confidence & the Invisible Load of Parenting feat. Danielle Dox — presenter, upcycler & godmother

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You know, when you get to the point in the road where you're like, shit, there's a hole.
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Am I gonna turn?
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And I've been turning back and going the other way.
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It's like, no, I'm getting over this hole.
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Yeah.
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I'm not going back anymore.
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I'm not going around.
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I'm going over this hole.
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So I'm building the ladders that I've got to build no matter how long it takes, but I'm going this way.
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This is my journey.
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This is my route.
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I've taken all the other routes before.
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You were a parent before me, so I was the friend that didn't have kids.
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Yeah.
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So what does that look what did that look like for you?
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Because like some of them school mum friends, like they could turn into enemies real quick.
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The parent playbook.
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Hey everyone, and welcome to another episode of the Parent Playbook.
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If you're new here, welcome.
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And if you're one of my regulars, then girl, thank you for having my back.
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Um, so today we're gonna be getting into another podcast edition, and here's some rules of the podcast just to make sure you're in the right place.
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If you don't like swearing, probably turn off for now.
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If you don't like honest conversation about how hard it is being a motherfucking parent, maybe, you know, find another podcast.
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Because today we're not talking about the highlight reel, we're talking about the real authentic, honest challenges that we go through as parents, especially career-driven, dream-chasing parents like me.
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Um, but without further ado, I'm gonna introduce to you a very, very, very special guest.
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And if you followed my journey, you've probably seen her because she is not only Kizzy's godmother and the first person that ever done my makeup, she is just an all-round sensation in anything and everything that she does.
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I'd like to introduce to you, Miss Danny Dort, presenter, host, upcycling, extraordinaire, and my best friend makes a move! Have fun.
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Normally I say to the guest, okay, so now introduce yourself, but I I I had to I had to take the show, you know, and obviously serving body body body body body body body body body.
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Pit stop.
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Just a little bit, just just a little bit, just a little bit.
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Now, thank you so much for joining me today.
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Thank you for having me.
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Um it's been a journey.
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It has indeed.
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It has been a labour of love, um, probably a labour of a lot of tears.
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Oh, absolutely.
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Um, and a real, a real energy of movement.
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Yeah, and I say movement because of how much we have moved over the last, I would say what, 20-something years.
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Is it 30 years?
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It's giving.
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It's giving.
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It's not giving it to you.
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It's giving around 30 years.
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It's giving 30 years.
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So, okay, let's start.
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We're gonna start things a bit different today.
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And I really want to talk to you about what friendship means to you as a parent.
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Having a friendship group when you are single and just doing up life is very different to when you become a parent.
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Yeah.
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You know, and you were a parent before me, so I was the friend that didn't have kids.
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Yeah.
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So what does that what did that look like for you?
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What between you and I?
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I just think like in general.
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Um, so like just having a friendship group as a parent, it really is that place where you kind of your community is built around your children.
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Yeah.
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So like obviously, when you have your friends before children, they're just there.
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Like they become the godparents and the aunties and the extended family, and it's all good and good.
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But then it's like, depending on how old your kids are, you actually make friends around your kids, and they can be friends for a lifetime after that.
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I'm thinking, do I have any?
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Um yeah, we're not gonna get there.
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Yeah, because like some of them school mum friends, like they could turn into enemies real quick.
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We're not gonna go there, they're not gonna go there.
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That's a different podcast.
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Yeah, but I feel like even touching upon that, it's like you've just explained that it's like you have the friends that you already had, right?
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And then you have the friends that you pick up along the way, which might not be school, they might not be the school mum friends, but they're just friends that have children that are around the same age as your child.
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And then you do have the school mums as well.
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And I think that the school mums are really important.
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They are the mums that will grab your kid after school if you're late.
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Oh, yeah, they're lifesavers, you know, the ones that are saying, you know, like I have Kizzy's in a new school now.
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One of the parents said to me, if you ever need to drop Kizzy off early in the morning because you've got something to do, then please feel free.
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And I'm just like, what is this?
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Yeah.
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You because they're becoming my tribe.
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Yeah, you know, and I think that people that don't have children don't understand the dynamic of when you do have a child.
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Yeah.
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Like, um, so my cousin, your friend, Shani, yeah, um, she has now got twins.
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And she was coming to my house the other day, and she'd made this big arrangement, she's gonna meet me at in my head.
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I just moved, I knew the whole morning was colassed.
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You've got twins.
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Yeah, there's no impossible for you to get here for the arranged time because you have hurdles ahead of you that you don't even know about.
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And that is only something a mum can relate to.
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Yeah.
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You know, if it's only you by yourself, you can get there.
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Yeah.
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And it's that, it's also that understanding of you know, when someone says, I actually can't make it, it's cool.
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It's absolutely fine.
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It's not gonna happen.
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And I learned that even with like with my children's parties, I had so many parties where there's friends at lastminute.com haven't even told me they can't come.
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It's cool.
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It's cool.
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As long as the understanding's understanding on the side.
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Yeah.
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Like, my one of my one of my family members, they hardly turn up to anything.
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Be like, I'm on my way, never to be seen again.
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Until the next party.
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Until the next party.
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It's cool, it's always cool because babes, I understand life is life here.
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Life is life, and I think mum lifing is different to the average person.
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Absolutely, yeah.
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There's so many things that you have to consider before even stepping out, or you know.
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So, okay, so your kids are a bit older now, yeah.
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Um sorry, I was watching one parent do school run today, and I you're in that.
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And I'm I can stick my finger up at you right now, honestly, because this morning I struggled.
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This morning I had to take Kizzy to Breakfast Club.
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Life begins at like 5:30, 6 o'clock.
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100%.
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I was at the house at 5 to 7 this morning, and I didn't get to hear until like just before nine.
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And it wasn't even just before nine, I think it was nine.
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Yeah.
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Um, it is the school run, is a is it's it's a milestone that will be happily forgotten at some stage.
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You know?
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Um, one of my one of our other friends in our um in our group, Charlene, she messaged me.
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I think I sent her a picture of me on the train with Kizzy, and she was like, oh, the PTSD of the school run.
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Oh yeah.
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I'm like, girl, keep that shit to yourself.
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I the other day it was pissing down with rain, and I don't even feel no way that my kids gotta go out in the rain.
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But I feel I feel way for the mums that have got to go out in the rain to take their kids to school, and I'm like, I mean, obviously it helps in my studio is around the corner from my house as well.
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So I'm like, damn.
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Yeah, no.
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I remember when I had to do that.
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So it's all to me about like some times where there might have been some, I don't know, like something uncomfortable in terms of your friends not understanding like the parent journey.
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Like, do you have any of those relationships where they just don't get it because you know I do know what I actually feel like I can't think of anything off the top of my head.
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There probably is, there probably is something.
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But I feel like with I've got groups of friends that fit into the parent category.
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So there's the ones, my son is 19, as you know.
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So that was more for for you lots.
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Because you'll be like, oh my god, my son's 19.
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I'm like, How dare you 19-year-old.
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But yeah, so my son is 19, gonna be 20 this year.
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So I have my friend, my old school friends that have friends that age, and then Callie being 12, there's the friends that have friends around that age.
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Okay.
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And so I feel like I've been I've been in a great position where they all understand.
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Um, I think it more comes from a place of, you know, when when I had my small stint on dating, it was, you know, kind of like, oh, let's meet up here.
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And I'm like, yeah, I've got kids.
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Okay.
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Like my child is still too young that I can't just leave her if my oldest one's not there.
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Like Caden thinking that he could just go off to America, which I'm really happy about.
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Congratulations to Kay, by the way.
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Congratulations to Kay.
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My little basketball player is gonna bring in a schmone hand.
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Um, but okay, okay, sorry, sorry, sorry.
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Um he when he No, can I just say something though?
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Okay, so basically.
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Sorry, the reason why Danielle done the pause, right?
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I'm just gonna be really frankly honest here.
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Where we're filming at the moment, and I said this earlier on today, we are filming, and there is a lovely gentleman that walks around and he cleans the windows.
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Um and when we record in, there's a sign outside the media room that says recording in progress, please be quiet.
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And he cleans the windows.
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He likes to just come in.
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He just likes to click come in and clean.
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And this is what you just done is massive disruption.
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So I was like, is he gonna come in?
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Is he gonna come in and this?
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Nah.
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Anyway, um But yeah, so Caden, Caden going to America, and I think like that weekend after he went, I was like, hang on, wait, I'm supposed to be out this weekend.
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Who's gonna babysit my child?
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Did you know?
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I'm not gonna lie, I thought you were gonna say, like, wow, I can't believe this.
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My son is all in that across the trans, what's it, transatlantic, he's across the ocean, and like he's away from me, and it's the feeling no, you're talking about your babysitter's gone.
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My babysitter's gone.
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And I messaged your mom's like, wow, you're living your best life because uh Cali.
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Okay, so we've done, you've done a lot of things in your lifetime, Danielle.
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Makeup artist, yeah, designer, what is it?
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What haven't I done?
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Taylor, yeah.
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I mean, it's giving, it's giving what haven't you done.
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Yeah.
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Um, but we're up to the stage now where you have, you're about to launch a new service.
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Yeah.
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Um, and yeah, talk to me a little bit about the why.
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So, what is the why for this new leg, a new arm, new new plate to spin, new level of inspiration to hit everybody with?
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When, when did you realize that you wanted to share?
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Sorry, can I get my phone?
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I need my chat GPT.
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Okay, okay, okay, okay.
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No, honestly, so I don't, this is full feels like it's nothing new.
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It's just, I'm really just going for it now.
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Because at the end of the day, it's like at this point, if not me, then who?
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It doesn't mean that no one else is doing it, but it's like, you know, you're just like, I've got nothing left.
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Like, I literally need to do the thing.
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I just need to do it.
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Um, there's just no, I can't put the pauses on anymore because I feel like I've been trying to build this community thing for a long time and trying, but just not.
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It's like you get you, you know, you get to the point in the road where you're like, shit, there's a hole.
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Am I gonna turn?
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And I've been turning back and going the other way.
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It's like, no, I'm getting over this hole.
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Yeah, yeah.
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I'm not going back anymore.
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I'm not going around, I'm going over this hole.
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So I'm building the ladders that I gotta build no matter how long it takes, but I'm going this way.
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This is my journey, this is my route.
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I've taken all the other routes before.
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Okay, so all right, let's okay, so the listeners, like obviously, we take food, we feel like everybody should just know us and our entire story.
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And like, just know who we are.
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But the reality is somebody's listening to this and has no idea who Daddy Dorks is, and right now they're thinking, okay, so she's son's playing doing something in America.
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She doesn't have a babysitter for her daughter no more, even though her daughter's in secondary, she don't need one no more anyway.
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Um, she's at this crossroads of holding on and not holding on and launching and just throwing everything at it.
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What were we throwing everything at?
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Um, talk to let everybody know about the the your butterfly effect.
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Okay.
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Yeah?
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Like when did it start?
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Like when, how, how you were before how you are now.
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So I feel like, and this is not me saying that everyone should do what I did, but I definitely feel like um, well, barley being one of them.
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Bali was the beginning of the cocoon with.
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And why did you go to Bali?
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I went to Bali.
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I actually went to Bali for a mindset um group.
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My friends used to call it a cult, but it was like a mindset group.
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But what it was giving cult energy, but what it was supposed to be, I was supposed to go there with my partner at the time, and just kind of, you know, it was a mindset thing and reset.
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But finances meant that I couldn't go with the group, okay.
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But I'd already bought my ticket, so I was like, I guess I'm gonna go on my own then.
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Okay, and so on going on my own, it allowed me to be for two weeks with my own thoughts and trusting myself instead of leaning on the leader of the group that says, right, guys, I've put this, I put that, this is where we're staying.
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When I would when I went, and I was trying to traveling over, I only had my first accommodation and one of my last accommodations.
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In between that, I didn't know where I was staying.
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I had to figure it all out on my own and I did it.
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And you know, coming back, I was I looked at stuff a little bit different, like, yeah, don't need that, don't need that, don't need that.
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What is this really doing?
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Where am I going?
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What's happening?
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Um, a couple months later, I did end my relationship because that was one of the things that I was like, I don't understand.
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Okay.
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Um, did you did you feel like going to Bali?
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You came back and you started to identify what was serving you, yeah, but what was not serving you.
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Yeah, and the what was not serving was so it was loud.
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It was louder than what was serving me.
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Because it felt like it was a lot of stuff holding me back.
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Um, and just then it was like, who am I?
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Is she?
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I had to figure out who I was, and that point of figuring out who I was, and not even necessarily all the way who I was, because something comes every day it can change, but who I want to be, yeah, and what what's going on that came about, that came about after the after the split, but also during lockdown, because lockdown was a great time for me to really find myself, and that's when the master of cycler was born, that's when the workshop facilitator was born, that's when the speaker was really born because that was something I wanted to do before, but I never had those chances to get on stage and speak.
00:13:22.399 --> 00:13:24.879
And I remember just before the pandemic, we had two events.
00:13:24.960 --> 00:13:32.080
So we'd done the fashion show, um, the Bingis Boutique Fashion Show, and then we had done a an event.
00:13:32.159 --> 00:13:45.679
I can't even remember the name of the event, but it was at the Cake Tell Club, and it was about you was doing uh, you was presenting us, you presented, you hosted the event, yeah, and then you also done a segment on how to love yourself in front of your camera.
00:13:45.919 --> 00:13:47.200
Yeah, you're so nervous.
00:13:47.519 --> 00:13:49.679
And and this was your this is what I want to do.
00:13:49.759 --> 00:13:54.799
And then obviously the pandemic happened, and you started doing whatever you could do from your house.
00:13:54.960 --> 00:13:55.279
Yeah.
00:13:55.519 --> 00:14:03.200
It's one like Nice said, I was shaking, I was shivering, I remember my voice was, you know, it's like speak even when your voice is shaking.
00:14:03.519 --> 00:14:08.559
I remember that feeling in my chest of just like tensing up.
00:14:08.639 --> 00:14:09.600
It's like try me now.
00:14:09.759 --> 00:14:10.960
Get me, let's go back.
00:14:11.360 --> 00:14:16.639
But it's it's amazing to look back at that and think back at that of how I was then, and I wanted it so bad then.
00:14:16.879 --> 00:14:17.120
So bad.
00:14:17.200 --> 00:14:18.879
Yeah, I can see you doing it.
00:14:18.960 --> 00:14:20.879
Like, I hope I can find the footage because I want to put it in.
00:14:20.960 --> 00:14:22.080
I'd love to put that little bit in.
00:14:22.320 --> 00:14:23.519
But I remember my palms sweating.
00:14:24.000 --> 00:14:24.799
My palms would sweat.
00:14:24.879 --> 00:14:26.480
Every time I would speak, my palms would sweat.
00:14:26.559 --> 00:14:29.200
But I was like, I want to do this, this is cool, I can do this.
00:14:29.440 --> 00:14:35.600
Like, but so you got to the pandemic, yeah, and you're doing your your up cycles.
00:14:36.000 --> 00:14:41.840
Um, the the famous IKEA outfit obviously went viral, and so many other of your stuff has gone viral now as well.
00:14:41.919 --> 00:14:53.519
Yeah, and you kind of showcased yourself online as this person that takes anything like a curtain, uh IKEA bag, um, whatever it is, and turn it into an absolute masterpiece.
00:14:53.600 --> 00:14:56.159
Um, obviously, you've done a lot of masterpieces for me.
00:14:56.320 --> 00:15:00.159
We have um some Lou Vuitton corsets, MCM outfits.
00:15:00.320 --> 00:15:03.759
Um, Danielle has taken my bags apart and done some raisings.
00:15:04.240 --> 00:15:04.960
Your trailers that fell off.
00:15:05.279 --> 00:15:10.960
The Jordans, yeah, like really just showing that something old can come back with some pizzazz, which is fantastic.
00:15:11.200 --> 00:15:11.759
Amazing.
00:15:11.919 --> 00:15:14.080
But since then, we've evolved even more.
00:15:15.039 --> 00:15:15.759
We've evolved again.
00:15:15.919 --> 00:15:31.840
And I've realized that what it is is I've my confidence has been built through the upcycling, it's been built through creativity, and it's been built through that just daring to stand out and look different and be confident.
00:15:32.080 --> 00:15:49.679
And so I feel like now I'm on this journey of building confidence through creativity and through uniqueness because everyone is a lot of the time you can go out and you can see a good few people in the same outfit because it's just what's out there and it's what they know.
00:15:49.759 --> 00:15:51.759
But it's like, how about you take that one thing you got?
00:15:51.840 --> 00:16:00.320
And not everything is about drawing on it or cutting it up and adding pieces, it could be restyling it, learning to restyle stuff, but just trusting in yourself.
00:16:00.399 --> 00:16:03.360
It really is that trust to say, I don't care what anyone thinks.
00:16:03.440 --> 00:16:05.600
And sometimes we don't care, but we do care.
00:16:05.679 --> 00:16:06.320
Yeah, but we don't.
00:16:06.799 --> 00:16:07.759
I don't care, but I care.
00:16:08.399 --> 00:16:10.399
I don't care about what did they think?
00:16:10.879 --> 00:16:12.879
But it's that it's delusional.
00:16:12.960 --> 00:16:20.000
Like, be delusional enough that actually I don't care because when you stop caring enough, eventually you really genuinely stop caring.
00:16:20.320 --> 00:16:22.559
So, so you're doing is it a course?
00:16:22.720 --> 00:16:23.279
I'm doing a course.
00:16:23.519 --> 00:16:24.080
You're doing a course.
00:16:24.159 --> 00:16:24.879
I'm building a community.
00:16:24.960 --> 00:16:26.639
So you're building a community and you're building a course.
00:16:26.720 --> 00:16:30.080
So what if somebody was listening and they're like, okay, that sounds really cool.
00:16:30.159 --> 00:16:30.320
Yeah.
00:16:30.480 --> 00:16:31.919
I really want my confidence back.
00:16:32.000 --> 00:16:34.879
Um, I have a little bit of creativity but don't know how to tap into it.
00:16:34.960 --> 00:16:35.120
Yeah.
00:16:35.279 --> 00:16:39.360
Like, what is the idle person that comes and does the Danny course?
00:16:39.440 --> 00:16:40.080
Is there a name?
00:16:40.240 --> 00:16:40.960
Do we have a name yet?
00:16:41.279 --> 00:16:43.360
It's the find your extra, find your extra at the beginning.
00:16:43.440 --> 00:16:46.720
We're going back to the beginning because that's the most important bit.
00:16:46.879 --> 00:16:49.200
That's the important bit because where where was it lost?
00:16:49.360 --> 00:16:50.399
Where did you lose that?
00:16:50.480 --> 00:16:52.240
Where do you think you lost that confidence?
00:16:52.480 --> 00:17:00.720
Um, and just when we were children, we had the we look at our own children, we realise, oh, they got to that stage of when there's like, oh I don't do that.
00:17:00.799 --> 00:17:01.600
They started to be aware.
00:17:02.000 --> 00:17:02.159
Yeah.
00:17:02.559 --> 00:17:03.679
They start to get that awareness.
00:17:04.000 --> 00:17:04.640
How did that come?
00:17:04.799 --> 00:17:05.599
Where did that come from?
00:17:05.680 --> 00:17:05.839
Yeah.
00:17:06.000 --> 00:17:10.000
Um, so we're going back to the beginning, however, the beginning, the beginning is different for everyone.
00:17:10.160 --> 00:17:14.640
And it's maybe that I feel like maybe mums would really gravitate to this.
00:17:15.359 --> 00:17:17.839
Maybe you lost your confidence after having children.
00:17:18.000 --> 00:17:20.880
You realize you get to the point you're like, I'm mum to everyone.
00:17:20.960 --> 00:17:21.920
I go to school, I'm mum.
00:17:22.000 --> 00:17:23.200
I'm at the doctor's surgery, I'm mum.
00:17:23.279 --> 00:17:26.400
I'm here, it's like so-and-so's mum, all the kids, all these other people's kids.
00:17:26.559 --> 00:17:27.680
Oh, Callie's mum.
00:17:28.319 --> 00:17:30.079
She comes to my house, I've got a name.
00:17:30.480 --> 00:17:32.480
And it's like you're like, I'm Daniela.
00:17:32.559 --> 00:17:38.799
I'm and I I got to that point as well, with even with Caden, and then I kind of was thrown straight back in with Callie.
00:17:39.039 --> 00:17:44.319
So, would you say this this particular course would be good for maybe like empty empty nesters?
00:17:44.559 --> 00:17:53.119
Like people that have their children and now like flown the nest, like your son, he's in America now, and they're figuring out, oh my days, I am actually still here.
00:17:53.680 --> 00:17:58.880
I've done my mum, but there's so much more going for me, and there's so much more that I've just been put on the back burner.
00:17:59.119 --> 00:18:02.240
Yeah, and you don't even have to be like a lot of people think they're not creative.
00:18:02.319 --> 00:18:04.400
You don't even have to have a creative bone in your body.
00:18:04.480 --> 00:18:07.839
You just have to wanna kind of express yourself.
00:18:08.079 --> 00:18:08.640
Express yourself.
00:18:08.720 --> 00:18:10.000
It is really a form of expression.
00:18:10.160 --> 00:18:12.880
Elephants can sell a painting for two million pounds.
00:18:13.200 --> 00:18:13.839
Where?
00:18:14.640 --> 00:18:15.759
I'm gonna find it.
00:18:15.920 --> 00:18:21.279
They do there's an elephant drawing, elephants just like splash paint on something, and people are buying this painting.
00:18:21.680 --> 00:18:27.039
You don't have to be creative, that is insane, it's crazy, but you just have to wanna you have to want more.
00:18:27.359 --> 00:18:28.880
Someone out there just wants more.
00:18:29.119 --> 00:18:37.359
You don't know what that more is right now, but in the community, we're gonna help you figure out more because everyone wants the same thing to be more.
00:18:37.519 --> 00:18:41.599
Yeah, everyone wants to be seen, everyone wants to be valued.
00:18:41.839 --> 00:18:49.440
Um, and I just I don't know what that looks like for each individual person, but listen, hit me up, contact me, and let's find out.
00:18:49.680 --> 00:18:58.960
But what it is done, I think as well, and I feel like someone that is, you know, I am your friend, so I'm always gonna be like singing your praises, but I am a person that will give you your home truths as well.
00:18:59.200 --> 00:19:03.119
If I think something shit, I'm yeah, not gonna sugarcoat it.
00:19:04.480 --> 00:19:08.799
Um, and for me, I feel like you know, watching your journey as a mum has been very inspiring.
00:19:08.880 --> 00:19:22.799
Like I've seen you bring your children to the office, I've seen you create and birth a whole business in your living room, and now I've seen you go on to do some amazing things, the presenting, the hosting, and just empowering other women and other mums.
00:19:23.200 --> 00:19:27.279
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, sorry guys.
00:19:27.440 --> 00:19:28.400
It's the Kizzy alarm.
00:19:28.640 --> 00:19:30.000
The Kizzy alarm is going off.
00:19:30.160 --> 00:19:32.000
The Kizzy alarm is going off.
00:19:32.240 --> 00:19:37.200
Now the thing is, right, it's the Kizzy question.
00:19:37.519 --> 00:19:44.319
Um, every time I do podcast Kizzy, as she is the CEO of my life, um, she gives me a question to ask the host.
00:19:44.400 --> 00:19:49.359
Now, I did tell her that Danielle was gonna be on the um on the purple couch today.
00:19:49.599 --> 00:19:50.160
Oh my gosh.
00:19:50.400 --> 00:19:56.000
Yeah, so she so everyone else's question has always been the same, but your question, she definitely changed up.
00:19:56.160 --> 00:19:56.480
Okay.
00:19:56.720 --> 00:20:03.279
Um, I don't know how you're gonna answer this question, but Kizzy's question to Auntie Dan is who is your favourite goddaughter?
00:20:06.480 --> 00:20:06.799
Okay.
00:20:08.640 --> 00:20:09.680
There's only one answer.
00:20:09.839 --> 00:20:10.400
It's diploma.
00:20:10.559 --> 00:20:12.640
Let's answer this as diplomatic as we can.
00:20:13.039 --> 00:20:14.319
I love all my godchildren.
00:20:14.720 --> 00:20:14.960
Okay.
00:20:16.960 --> 00:20:22.640
Um, everyone has their own special unique uh points and qualities and everything.
00:20:23.119 --> 00:20:25.599
But for the sake of this podcast, especially.
00:20:27.119 --> 00:20:27.519
I'm good.
00:20:30.079 --> 00:20:33.839
Success! It's gonna have to be Kizzy.
00:20:34.720 --> 00:20:37.599
Let me tell you about this, my my amazing goddaughter.
00:20:39.119 --> 00:20:40.480
There's only one of this job.
00:20:40.799 --> 00:20:44.480
She's an absolute amazing, an amazing individual, and Naya.
00:20:44.960 --> 00:20:47.119
It's it really shows the type of person you are.
00:20:47.279 --> 00:20:54.960
Oh, but honestly, for the type of person Kizzy is, because to explain Kizzy to someone that doesn't know her, they'd be like, Okay, yeah.
00:20:55.119 --> 00:20:57.599
So someone's trying to sing some child's praises.
00:20:57.920 --> 00:20:59.359
I'm not a singer child's praises.
00:21:01.359 --> 00:21:08.799
But this girl, she is just I don't I don't even know if my words can explain how magnificent she is.
00:21:09.039 --> 00:21:25.440
You kind of have to like meet her and also I feel like you have to roll with her to understand she's a massive heart, a massive spirit, and she is such a credit to you, and she is gonna go so far in life.
00:21:25.599 --> 00:21:26.240
Oh, I appreciate it.
00:21:26.400 --> 00:21:26.799
Do you know what?
00:21:26.880 --> 00:21:33.599
I feel like I feel like before having Kizzy, like the idea of having a child, I was always very career-driven for them.
00:21:33.680 --> 00:21:42.799
Like, want them to do amazing things, want them to be huge or whatever it is, you know, and I feel like now watching her like do so well at fucking everything.
00:21:44.000 --> 00:21:45.359
No, actually, let me tell you something.
00:21:45.519 --> 00:21:51.200
So they have got a um chess tournament thing going on at school, and she entered herself to do the chess thing.
00:21:51.279 --> 00:21:54.480
Anyway, I got the message from school saying, Yeah, she didn't make it.
00:21:54.640 --> 00:21:56.880
She didn't make the never told her.
00:21:57.680 --> 00:21:58.799
That was chill, didn't it?
00:21:58.880 --> 00:22:04.400
I found out before the Half term started, and it's been like the whole week, and I thought she's going back to school.
00:22:04.880 --> 00:22:05.920
How can I tell her?
00:22:07.440 --> 00:22:13.440
And honestly, like, apart from swimming, anything that Kizzy tries to do, she's just amazing at.
00:22:13.519 --> 00:22:18.720
So to be able to have to explain to her, like, babes, you probably was a bit of shit.
00:22:21.519 --> 00:22:24.400
It was so hard, but I said to her, I said, Oh yeah, by the way, and I've really done it.
00:22:24.480 --> 00:22:28.799
I chatted her, I was like, by the way, um, today you know, oh yeah, that chess thing, yeah, you didn't make the cart, man.
00:22:28.960 --> 00:22:30.079
She's like, I didn't make the cut.
00:22:30.160 --> 00:22:30.720
I'm just gonna read it.
00:22:30.799 --> 00:22:32.400
I said, Oh, you didn't make it, you didn't make the team.
00:22:32.480 --> 00:22:33.359
She's like, but why?
00:22:33.519 --> 00:22:36.480
I was like, well, there was other people that were better than you that made the team.
00:22:36.559 --> 00:22:38.720
And she's like, but I've been practicing on my Duolingo.
00:22:38.799 --> 00:22:40.480
I said, listen, listen, listen.
00:22:40.640 --> 00:22:46.000
I said, clearly you're doing chess at school, yeah, and the school chess is probably not the best chess, okay?
00:22:46.160 --> 00:22:47.440
I said, It's the same when you was doing tennis.
00:22:47.519 --> 00:22:51.359
She was doing tennis, then she'd done proper tennis, and she's like, Oh, she's now she can play tennis.
00:22:51.440 --> 00:22:55.759
I said, So if you really want to learn chess, we can figure out you going to another chess club, Bob, okay?
00:22:56.160 --> 00:22:57.440
Um, but I could see it in her face.
00:22:57.519 --> 00:22:58.319
She was devastated.
00:22:58.400 --> 00:22:58.559
Yeah.
00:22:58.799 --> 00:23:00.079
Absolutely devastated.
00:23:00.319 --> 00:23:01.279
Um, but I'm glad.
00:23:01.759 --> 00:23:07.839
And the reason why I am glad is because I feel like children need to understand that you're not going to be able to do everything.
00:23:08.160 --> 00:23:10.079
And there's not enough time to do everything here.
00:23:10.559 --> 00:23:16.240
And it's okay to, you know, like excel in some areas and not excel in other areas.
00:23:16.319 --> 00:23:21.519
And also feel that feeling of disappointment and understanding that, oh man, I weren't really good enough for that.
00:23:21.599 --> 00:23:21.759
Yeah.
00:23:21.839 --> 00:23:23.119
Like, and then it's your choice now.
00:23:23.200 --> 00:23:25.759
If you really want to dig deep and get better, we can make it happen.
00:23:25.920 --> 00:23:26.240
Yeah.
00:23:26.480 --> 00:23:28.400
But maybe this isn't the thing, you know?
00:23:28.640 --> 00:23:29.279
I love that, yeah.
00:23:29.440 --> 00:23:30.160
Um, but it was tough.
00:23:30.240 --> 00:23:34.000
I'm not gonna lie, it was it was tough because she, when she went, she I was like, how did it go?
00:23:34.079 --> 00:23:34.960
She's like, Yeah, good.
00:23:35.039 --> 00:23:38.960
I I lost one, but I drew in the second one, and I thought, it's not looking good, bruv.
00:23:39.839 --> 00:23:42.160
And I don't play tennis, so I couldn't even help her.
00:23:42.240 --> 00:23:44.319
I mean, um not tennis, um chess.
00:23:44.400 --> 00:23:45.920
I'll yeah, I couldn't even help her.
00:23:46.079 --> 00:23:48.400
Um, but yeah, um, thank you for the accreditations.
00:23:48.480 --> 00:23:49.839
Let's see, let's see how it goes, man.
00:23:50.000 --> 00:24:02.079
I just hope that the kids, all of our kids, um, are able to grow to adults and enjoy life and not be as stressed out and focused on having to make cash to sustain living.
00:24:02.400 --> 00:24:09.599
And I think that a lot of our childhood and youth is always geared towards what are you gonna do, what you gonna do, what are you gonna do, what are you gonna do?
00:24:09.680 --> 00:24:13.279
And we spent so much time focusing in an area that we probably didn't even want to.
00:24:13.359 --> 00:24:15.759
I mean, I'd done sociology up at A levels.
00:24:15.920 --> 00:24:16.319
Why?
00:24:16.720 --> 00:24:21.119
Like, what would I I'd done child development when I left school in sit in sixth form?
00:24:21.279 --> 00:24:21.680
Child development.
00:24:21.920 --> 00:24:22.559
Child development.
00:24:22.799 --> 00:24:25.519
Yeah, I I don't I don't want our kids to waste time.
00:24:25.759 --> 00:24:30.160
I'd rather you just say I don't want to do anything than spend your time, like go and smell the flowers.
00:24:30.400 --> 00:24:35.599
If you want to do a pick flowers for a living, like I'd rather then do, you know, that whereas before I wasn't like that.
00:24:35.680 --> 00:24:45.279
I was very much focused on the deliverables and are they gonna be like amazing and you know, and now I'm just like, and maybe that is because I do have a daughter that excels in everything, so there's no pressure.
00:24:45.359 --> 00:24:47.920
Yeah, you know, I don't really feel the pressure for her, you know.
00:24:48.000 --> 00:24:56.480
Like one of the kids, it was her birthday, and when the guy, this little boy wrote her a card and it says two kizzy with the biggest brain, the smartest girl in my class.
00:24:56.960 --> 00:24:58.000
I'm like, what?
00:24:58.400 --> 00:24:59.519
And they all know it as well.
00:24:59.680 --> 00:25:00.319
They all know it.
00:25:00.400 --> 00:25:01.920
I'm just like, no, this is insane.
00:25:02.000 --> 00:25:04.960
Like you are so blessed to have the brain that you have, you know.
00:25:05.039 --> 00:25:07.440
Like I didn't, I don't think I kid's a genius.
00:25:07.680 --> 00:25:12.960
I struggled at academically at school, so she definitely doesn't get the academic retaining information from me.
00:25:13.119 --> 00:25:14.799
She definitely gets it like from her dad.
00:25:14.880 --> 00:25:15.039
Yeah.
00:25:15.599 --> 00:25:17.839
He just knows stuff for no no fucking reason.
00:25:18.079 --> 00:25:18.400
No reason.
00:25:18.799 --> 00:25:20.720
Did you know Bob Marley lived there for some years?
00:25:22.240 --> 00:25:23.200
Great, fantastic.
00:25:23.599 --> 00:25:23.920
Literally.
00:25:24.160 --> 00:25:24.640
No, you're right.
00:25:24.799 --> 00:25:26.319
He's retained, he can retain information.
00:25:26.720 --> 00:25:37.359
Um, so yeah, well, Dan, let's talk about, you know, what is next for Dan, what what we're doing, like, and also like we always talk about the mum's journey a lot, like we do.
00:25:37.440 --> 00:25:43.440
And it's uh, you know, we talk about the invisible load and we talk about how many things a mum has to think about.
00:25:43.839 --> 00:25:48.319
But how do you how are you managing now that you know you do have a son that is across the country?
00:25:48.559 --> 00:25:49.519
I mean not across the country.
00:25:49.759 --> 00:25:50.720
I mean across the world.
00:25:51.839 --> 00:25:53.599
Um and you have a daughter in secondary.
00:25:53.680 --> 00:25:56.000
Like, what what does that what is this looking like for you now?
00:25:56.240 --> 00:26:01.920
I mean, so when you talk about the invisible load, I feel like it's it can sometimes really be geared towards people with the younger people.
00:26:02.000 --> 00:26:07.200
Like we talk about the school run, but honestly, that load load that never unloads itself.
00:26:07.440 --> 00:26:07.759
Never.
00:26:07.920 --> 00:26:08.640
It never unloads.
00:26:08.799 --> 00:26:12.480
I feel I think even once Callie gets to 18, we're still gonna be dealing with a load.
00:26:12.640 --> 00:26:13.119
Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:26:13.200 --> 00:26:22.880
I don't feel load of I don't feel like okay, the invisible load is something that we we definitely gear towards parents, yeah.
00:26:23.200 --> 00:26:25.359
But it is it is a thing.
00:26:25.440 --> 00:26:35.599
Yeah, you know, because you we can tell you the invisible load that the parents carry for the children, yeah, but you're thinking about the invisible load that you have to carry for your own self.
00:26:35.680 --> 00:26:35.920
Yeah.
00:26:36.960 --> 00:26:43.599
And when you are an entrepreneur, I think that is even more invisible load because you are now dictating what happens in your life.
00:26:43.680 --> 00:26:45.440
Yeah, in your brain first.
00:26:45.599 --> 00:27:00.319
Because everything that you materialise and visualize and want to bring to this earth and say this is gonna be my thing, yeah, you have to first think it, and then you have to get it together in your brain and deliver it in some type of communication to the people that are gonna help you bring this to life.
00:27:00.640 --> 00:27:21.920
Because you we can't do things by ourselves, and sometimes we just don't even understand it for ourselves, and then obviously we've all we've been self-diagnosed with ADHD as well, that which also actually makes it it's a it makes it more difficult, but it actually makes it easier because the whole self-diagnosis has made me understand myself a bit more and give myself grace.
00:27:22.079 --> 00:27:33.920
Yeah, and also like I feel like understanding that you learn different, you perceive different, you deliver different, you act different, is you then understanding, oh, this isn't wrong.
00:27:34.000 --> 00:27:35.519
Yeah, it's just different.
00:27:35.920 --> 00:27:36.799
And that is okay.
00:27:36.960 --> 00:27:43.759
Like I realize that, so I have been known to book the wrong flights a lot of times.
00:27:43.920 --> 00:27:44.720
So the wrong dates.
00:27:44.960 --> 00:27:47.440
Book the wrong dates, book the wrong flights.
00:27:47.599 --> 00:27:51.519
I will, I know the tube map, yeah, like nobody's business.
00:27:51.680 --> 00:27:52.400
I can tell you, right?
00:27:52.480 --> 00:27:53.119
Are you there, right?
00:27:54.079 --> 00:27:55.599
Danielle won't go root mapper anymore.
00:27:55.680 --> 00:27:59.599
She says, Oh no, I'm trying to go here, tell me the cookie through I can figure it out.
00:27:59.839 --> 00:28:03.839
But when I'm on the tube myself, I will get on the wrong train.
00:28:03.920 --> 00:28:05.680
I got lost in bank station today.
00:28:05.839 --> 00:28:07.839
I get on the wrong train regular.
00:28:08.400 --> 00:28:12.160
I just I I just do things in a different way.
00:28:12.640 --> 00:28:15.039
And for a long time I'd say, Oh, I'm so dumb, man.
00:28:15.119 --> 00:28:16.319
And now I don't say that anymore.
00:28:16.480 --> 00:28:17.680
I'm like, nah, man, I'm different.
00:28:18.480 --> 00:28:24.240
And the way that I react and the way that I can navigate things is just different to maybe somebody else.
00:28:24.319 --> 00:28:25.680
And I used to beat myself up for that.
00:28:25.839 --> 00:28:39.359
So you explaining that understanding that you are in this brain type can allow you to deliver what you want to deliver with grace and not beat yourself up when things might not be going the way that they're meant to be going or you want them to go.
00:28:39.440 --> 00:28:39.599
Yeah.
00:28:39.759 --> 00:28:40.640
You know, it's tough.
00:28:40.799 --> 00:28:41.599
It is tough.
00:28:41.759 --> 00:28:47.119
And the one thing, the one thing I really have learned in the last few years is just don't be so hard on yourself.
00:28:47.200 --> 00:28:49.519
You remember we used to have that thing be like, don't talk to my friend like that.
00:28:49.680 --> 00:28:50.559
Don't talk about my friend like that.
00:28:50.720 --> 00:28:56.720
And I think, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, do not talk to my friend like that.
00:28:56.880 --> 00:29:02.960
Yeah, and I feel like that is like, you know, it's something that is under discussed.
00:29:03.039 --> 00:29:08.640
Yeah, you know, and I feel like for a very long time it is something that we didn't really understand that was actually happening.
00:29:08.880 --> 00:29:10.240
Um, but we glided through.
00:29:10.319 --> 00:29:10.480
Yeah.
00:29:10.640 --> 00:29:11.759
And like that's a blessing.
00:29:11.920 --> 00:29:12.240
Yeah.
00:29:12.400 --> 00:29:14.480
It's so easy to be, oh, such an idiot.
00:29:14.720 --> 00:29:15.680
Yeah, it is, it is.
00:29:15.920 --> 00:29:17.440
But I'm an amazing idiot.
00:29:19.440 --> 00:29:20.160
And I'm an abs.
00:29:20.400 --> 00:29:22.480
I'm an I'm an abs, I'm an idiot.
00:29:23.839 --> 00:29:27.920
But yeah, so I don't even think I actually answered the question you asked me.
00:29:28.079 --> 00:29:28.720
The the load.
00:29:28.880 --> 00:29:29.359
The load.
00:29:29.440 --> 00:29:30.640
The load doesn't unload.
00:29:30.880 --> 00:29:32.640
Um but then how are we tackling that?
00:29:32.880 --> 00:29:34.559
Because it can't be a forever load.
00:29:34.799 --> 00:29:43.279
I mean, I guess it's like at the age that my kids are, it is part of them learning about themselves.
00:29:43.359 --> 00:29:56.079
Because now, you know, Caden is off doing his thing, yeah, and it's me knowing and hoping that I've installed enough sense into him to trust to trust him, but still also being worried.
00:29:56.160 --> 00:30:01.519
Like the other day he said, Oh mum, because when he was home, he said, Oh, my friend's coming to pick me up and we're just gonna drive around.
00:30:02.720 --> 00:30:03.039
Why?
00:30:03.279 --> 00:30:04.079
Drive around where?
00:30:04.160 --> 00:30:05.279
What do you mean?
00:30:05.440 --> 00:30:07.759
He said, Oh, I'll probably just go and get something to eat.
00:30:08.240 --> 00:30:09.039
Who's driving?
00:30:09.279 --> 00:30:10.559
So he told me you met them for.
00:30:10.720 --> 00:30:12.079
I was like, it doesn't matter.
00:30:12.160 --> 00:30:13.680
Like, how long have they had their license?
00:30:13.759 --> 00:30:14.799
Well, are they drinking?
00:30:14.960 --> 00:30:16.000
I hope no one's drinking.
00:30:16.880 --> 00:30:17.920
Wow, yeah, it's a lot.
00:30:18.000 --> 00:30:19.359
And I was going crazy.
00:30:19.440 --> 00:30:21.119
And then the next day he said, We're driving again.
00:30:21.200 --> 00:30:22.480
And I was like, But this is what they do.
00:30:24.079 --> 00:30:25.279
But he is sensible.
00:30:25.359 --> 00:30:30.000
He said, Oh, I told my friend, the next day when he outside that I told him, my mum said, You better drive safe.
00:30:30.400 --> 00:30:32.319
I was like, And again, at least.
00:30:32.720 --> 00:30:45.119
At least, but it's again with Callie, like just hoping that as she as she keeps getting older, I'm just installing some some sense into her because then we were kids, we done dumb shit a lot.
00:30:45.440 --> 00:30:54.160
And if I could prevent her from doing as much dumb shit as I done, or just understanding this is dumb shit, let me be careful within my dumb shit.
00:30:54.240 --> 00:30:54.319
Yeah.
00:30:55.839 --> 00:30:56.880
They're gonna do some dumb shit.
00:30:56.960 --> 00:31:02.319
So and I think that's the that is the answer, is like not trying not to compare what they're doing with what we done.
00:31:02.400 --> 00:31:02.559
Yeah.
00:31:02.720 --> 00:31:06.480
It's different, different times, different like we're just it's not the same anymore.
00:31:06.720 --> 00:31:07.519
It is very, very different.
00:31:07.599 --> 00:31:12.960
And trust in the fact that that you've built them up enough that they can figure it out, yeah.
00:31:13.119 --> 00:31:14.960
You know, and make the right decisions.
00:31:15.039 --> 00:31:15.200
Yeah.
00:31:15.519 --> 00:31:23.279
Because, you know, there is there's the the left and the right, you know, but you just have to hope and pray and say, Well, okay, cool, this is your journey now, babes.
00:31:23.440 --> 00:31:25.759
And I'm here to support you whatever decision that you make.
00:31:26.079 --> 00:31:27.119
Always gonna be here.
00:31:28.160 --> 00:31:29.279
But and you know what?
00:31:29.759 --> 00:31:33.839
I'm at this age with Callie, I'm really just making sure she trusts me.
00:31:34.000 --> 00:31:35.519
Yeah, I just really want them to try.
00:31:35.599 --> 00:31:41.119
I know Caden does, but like we have conversations and stuff, and I'm like, I'm so glad you're having any conversations with me.
00:31:41.680 --> 00:31:44.559
I didn't have certain conversations with my mum, and I'm like, Callie, tell me everything.
00:31:44.720 --> 00:31:46.480
Ask me, maybe you can ask me.
00:31:46.720 --> 00:31:49.680
So it's just letting her know I'm here, I'm not your enemy.
00:31:49.759 --> 00:31:56.720
So and so I've had to have that conversation with her because when she wants to like the neck is rolling a bit, I'm like, babes, babes, babes, hang on a second.
00:31:56.960 --> 00:31:58.160
I'm not your enemy.
00:31:58.319 --> 00:31:59.200
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:31:59.440 --> 00:32:05.359
Like, I'm your friend, and I want to be like your good friend, but I also want to like tell you about yourself.
00:32:05.519 --> 00:32:05.759
Yeah, yeah.
00:32:06.000 --> 00:32:07.680
But don't treat me like I'm your enemy.
00:32:07.920 --> 00:32:08.319
So yeah.
00:32:08.559 --> 00:32:11.440
Yeah, so you're at that age now, so it's teenage life, right?
00:32:11.599 --> 00:32:12.000
How does that?
00:32:12.319 --> 00:32:13.440
I don't even know what I'm doing.
00:32:14.000 --> 00:32:23.680
Dan, I don't think we're I I love the way that you said that because I think it's cut we've come to an exceptional segment of the podcast, and that is that nobody knows what they're doing.
00:32:23.759 --> 00:32:26.640
We're all winging it and we're all hoping for an amazing outcome.
00:32:26.880 --> 00:32:36.079
And all we can do is learn from each other, yeah, learn from our previous mistakes, and not place judgment on our kids for just being themselves and understanding that it's not perfect.
00:32:36.480 --> 00:32:40.240
Life is not perfect, the environment's not perfect, and perfect is never it.
00:32:40.559 --> 00:32:43.599
There is a high and there is a low, and it's feeling good and it's feeling bad.
00:32:43.759 --> 00:32:50.160
I was talking to Kizzy, she wanted to come home from her nans, and I was at a wedding, and she really got really upset.
00:32:50.240 --> 00:32:53.599
Um, and she took a picture of herself crying and sent it to me on an iPad.
00:32:53.680 --> 00:32:54.720
And I had to draw the line.
00:32:54.799 --> 00:33:02.799
I said, listen, if you are not emotionally able enough to have an iPad without crying and taking a photo of yourself and sending it to me, you're gonna have to lose the iPad.
00:33:02.880 --> 00:33:03.680
She snapped out of that.
00:33:04.240 --> 00:33:05.599
Oh no, don't take my iPad.
00:33:05.839 --> 00:33:10.960
So it's like, and then I spoke to her when she got home and I said, What you have to understand is you look distressed.
00:33:11.039 --> 00:33:11.200
Yeah.
00:33:11.359 --> 00:33:13.039
And that gets mummy very worried.
00:33:13.200 --> 00:33:17.200
And if you are distressed, I'm coming to get you and I'm coming to save you.
00:33:17.440 --> 00:33:18.960
But there was no need to save you in that moment.
00:33:19.200 --> 00:33:22.559
You were safe, you was with Nanny, you just had enough and wanted to come home.
00:33:22.720 --> 00:33:25.279
And that is not the way that you act.
00:33:25.359 --> 00:33:28.799
But you're entitled to feel the way that you want to feel and communicate.
00:33:28.880 --> 00:33:29.359
Yeah.
00:33:29.599 --> 00:33:33.200
But you have to know when to be like that and when not.
00:33:33.279 --> 00:33:35.039
And like that is for an emergency.
00:33:35.200 --> 00:33:37.680
Because you could do that again, and I'd say she's just messing around.
00:33:37.920 --> 00:33:41.839
The boy who cried wolf, the boy who cried wolf, and then all of a sudden you're in a bad situation.
00:33:42.000 --> 00:33:42.079
Yeah.
00:33:42.240 --> 00:33:45.039
And then I'm talking to you, and I'm thinking, okay, but you're only fucking nine years old.
00:33:45.200 --> 00:33:46.559
You would understand what I'm saying.
00:33:47.839 --> 00:33:49.359
Is this falling on deaf ears?
00:33:49.440 --> 00:33:51.759
And going back to what you said, nobody knows what they're doing.
00:33:51.839 --> 00:33:52.000
Yeah.
00:33:52.160 --> 00:33:53.200
We're just kind of winging it.
00:33:53.279 --> 00:33:54.880
We are literally winging it as parents.
00:33:54.960 --> 00:33:59.920
Um, I mean, I'd love to see the parent that absolutely does have the playbook and knows exactly what's going on.
00:34:00.240 --> 00:34:00.720
Yeah, that's fine.
00:34:00.799 --> 00:34:02.480
Go on Instagram, there's better Instagram highlights.
00:34:02.640 --> 00:34:02.960
You can go.
00:34:03.039 --> 00:34:05.519
They're not going to show you the shit in their toilet, but you'll see the perfect perfect.
00:34:06.079 --> 00:34:08.559
Perfect house, everything's done, the cleaning's done.
00:34:08.719 --> 00:34:10.880
Let's go to let's go to pan to that corner.
00:34:11.039 --> 00:34:11.840
To panter the left.
00:34:12.400 --> 00:34:19.280
So, what's your last bit of advice for anybody or a tip that you can share, you know, to find your extra.
00:34:19.440 --> 00:34:23.519
Like, what would be your what would be your first tip if someone's listening and they're like, you know what?
00:34:23.760 --> 00:34:25.519
I am I don't have no confidence.
00:34:25.599 --> 00:34:28.239
I'm very like, I've been a mum for the last 20 years.
00:34:28.320 --> 00:34:28.480
Yeah.
00:34:28.719 --> 00:34:33.840
My kids are finally in college and I'm finally getting my free time, but I don't even know where to start.
00:34:34.000 --> 00:34:36.239
Like, what is the advice to that woman?
00:34:36.559 --> 00:34:43.199
My advice to that woman is really hone in, sit down and think about the things that you genuinely love to do.
00:34:43.360 --> 00:34:45.679
Like, what do you enjoy doing and do more of those?
00:34:45.760 --> 00:34:48.000
And sometimes then things will be on your own.
00:34:48.239 --> 00:34:52.320
You know, they talk about people say, go on a date, take yourself on a date, go cinema.
00:34:52.400 --> 00:34:57.440
Like, if you want to do something, do not let the lack of people doing it with you hold you back.
00:34:57.519 --> 00:34:58.159
Just go and do it.
00:34:58.239 --> 00:34:58.719
Don't wait around.
00:34:59.519 --> 00:35:03.679
Whether that is a holiday, whether that is going shopping, I used to love going shopping by myself.
00:35:03.760 --> 00:35:06.559
Like, I don't need anyone to come with me, and I've been doing that for years.
00:35:06.719 --> 00:35:09.920
But it's just them things dance more, sing more.
00:35:10.559 --> 00:35:12.400
Who gives a shit if you can sing or not?
00:35:12.559 --> 00:35:13.840
I can't sing, but I love singing.
00:35:14.239 --> 00:35:22.320
We can say but do just really hone into those things that you love doing, and then after that, maybe find the community.
00:35:22.480 --> 00:35:24.800
Where is the community that's doing those things?
00:35:25.039 --> 00:35:28.960
Um, and come to a workshop as well as well as building my community.
00:35:29.039 --> 00:35:30.480
I also do upcycle workshops.
00:35:30.559 --> 00:35:33.119
The upcycle workshops are like a girls' night in.
00:35:33.199 --> 00:35:34.880
Um, sometimes there can be guys there.
00:35:34.960 --> 00:35:38.800
You can come with your partner, you can do whatever the hell you want, but they're fun.
00:35:38.960 --> 00:35:44.079
I bring just fun and realness and rawness and reality to my workshops.
00:35:44.159 --> 00:35:47.039
And like I said, people come, they're like, oh my god, I'm not creative.
00:35:47.199 --> 00:35:52.960
And when they go, they've got this masterpiece and this, I did that, I done that, I made this, I'm amazing.
00:35:53.119 --> 00:35:54.480
So pour into yourself.
00:35:54.639 --> 00:35:58.960
Do all the things that you can do to pour into yourself and start building your confidence.
00:35:59.119 --> 00:36:07.599
Yeah, and I think I to add to that, I would say that if you're feeling feeling like you don't know how to start to even pour into yourself, then just find the community.
00:36:07.760 --> 00:36:18.400
Find the community because that is where you're gonna see other people doing it and learn and get tips and really find your your own power to be able to get to the next destination that you really want to get to.
00:36:18.719 --> 00:36:19.199
Let's not waste time.
00:36:19.360 --> 00:36:19.840
Let's not waste time.
00:36:20.000 --> 00:36:20.880
But Danielle, you've been amazing.
00:36:21.360 --> 00:36:22.000
Absolutely amazing.
00:36:22.159 --> 00:36:23.920
Thank you so much for for coming.
00:36:24.079 --> 00:36:26.559
So that is the end of the parent playbook.
00:36:26.639 --> 00:36:27.440
I cannot believe that.
00:36:27.679 --> 00:36:29.760
Another episode, done and dusted.
00:36:29.840 --> 00:36:38.400
And today I really feel enlightened to understand what it's probably gonna look like when your kids get older and start flying the nest.
00:36:38.639 --> 00:36:42.639
Um, so yeah, if you want to find Danielle, I'll put all of her details in the description.
00:36:42.800 --> 00:36:45.840
If you want to find your extra, you have been listening to the right podcast.
00:36:46.239 --> 00:36:47.760
Um, but yeah, until next time.
00:36:48.079 --> 00:36:48.559
Bye.
00:36:49.360 --> 00:37:03.360
The parent play book, the parent play book.