Embracing Instinctual Wisdom and Healing Through Dark Feminine Energy - Rimsha Warda

Speaker 1:
0:07
Hey there, beautiful souls, and welcome to Pleasure Principles, the podcast where we unpack the art, science and the magic of living a more pleasurable, connected and deliberated life. I'm your host, avik, and today I am absolutely thrilled to drive into a story of profound transformation, reclamation and divine empowerment, because joining us is the extraordinary Vrimsa Vartasahedda. So welcome to the show Vrimsa.

Speaker 2:
0:39
Thank you so much for having me and for the beautiful intro. I'm so stoked to be here.

Speaker 1:
0:45
Lovely, lovely, definitely. So before we start our conversation, I'd quickly love to introduce you to all the listeners. Dear listeners, vimsa is a former aerospace engineer and US Marine Corps officer, turned holistic intimacy and the relationship coach. Yes, heard that right? Yeah, she's chartered a path from uh, from the position of rockets to the wild and primal wisdom to the divine feminine, so her journey is nothing sort of breathtaking, yeah. So through her creation, the jaguar medicine, she empowers women to reconnect with their cycles, embrace their primal power and awaken their dark feminine energy.

Speaker 1:
1:34
And we are about to go deep into the beautiful intersection of the sacred sexuality, feminine shamanism and the leadership. So if you are ready to explore what it truly means to reclaim your power and cultivate the authentic joy, then you are in the right place. So let's start with a quick question about everyone who is listening. Like this is just for all of you. I mean, you can definitely share your comment in the comment section, or maybe you can email us as well. So when was the last time you gave yourself permission to truly, or maybe unapologetically, feel, to honor your instincts and the cycles without your judgment? So do let us know. Yeah, and welcome to the show again, dimsa.

Speaker 2:
2:38
Yeah, for sure, thank you. And was that question for me or was that for all the viewers?

Speaker 1:
2:43
For everyone, definitely. You can, definitely, you can also, you can also share as well yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 2:
2:50
I guess I think actually this is a profound question because right before this episode, um, so I had food poisoning last night and I'm in pakistan and I arrived here after 16 years I live abroad now in US, and trying to transition back to the middle, you know, to this part of the world, and I had finally I was like, oh my gosh, I'm going so strong for three months and I finally got my food poisoning and I also started my bleed on that same day, and it was so beautiful to witness that none of those things were a coincidence. It was this profound time for me to purge a lot of things that were coming through, because, as I was puking and feeling weak to my bone, everything was inviting in this deep sense of desire to have a masculine support. And I felt my father in my bed as I was crying, just holding me, nurturing me. I felt him almost like holding my head to his chest and loving me. And so when you surrender to what is happening without the victim and you allow yourself to drop into it, so because I was purging, I was shedding on all levels and I had food poisoning and I'm puking and I'm in this much weakness, I really allowed every part of my being to come alive, rather than get distracted. I didn't try to sleep it off I didn't, of course, rest is necessary but I went deeper and deeper into my body on like what am I purging? What is this? What is this body on? Like what am I purging? What is this? What is this? How can this become an intimate experience for me?

Speaker 2:
4:28
And it became about, you know, healing this father wound that I had in my body and learning to receive this nurturance from this masculine support.

Speaker 2:
4:36
And I started to actually like, as in bed, I started to say all the things that my you know, in all the ways my father had hurt me, and then I started to say all the ways he had given me gift of this life and the gratitude that I had.

Speaker 2:
4:49
And I went into celebration and you know, I'm sharing this to say that these cycles that we go through, you know, and especially for feminine beings on this planet, we go through this 28, 29 29-day cycle every month. This is an invitation for us to continue to descend deeper into our body and to see what wants to be liberated, what wants to bring wisdom to the surface, because we are the wisdom keepers. We are the source of power of this planet and if we can't own it, who will do it for us? So that actually just happened happened few hours ago, before this podcast that I was in this deep initiation of just like holding myself as if my father was there next to me and working with that energy to invite in my own inner masculine to hold space for myself that's really amazing and and it's really feel uh great to hear uh someone who shares about this.

Speaker 1:
5:51
So, the listeners, why don't you share? Do share about your thoughts as well. I'd love to uh hear from you all. So, so, rimsa like um, you have journeyed from the kind of rigidity of aerospace engineering and the military discipline to following the rhythms of feminine cycles and the instincts, and what was the turning point that made you leave that structured world for this more intuitive and sacred path?

Speaker 2:
6:25
that structured world for this more intuitive and sacred path Definitely my divorce. I went through a very cathartic divorce and I'm sure, for those of you listening, if you've gone through you probably know the initiation that happens when you choose to part from a relationship you deeply love. And I feel like, you know, our first relationship is almost always a karmic relationship, something that is here to teach us and show us our shadows, and it certainly was, and it made me realize that, you know, I wasn't just married to a pathological liar, I was living a lie. I was living a life of a pathological lie. You know it was a life that wasn't truthful to myself. I realized that it was the conditioning and wanting to be accepted in an islamic, you know, family and abiding by their rules and systems in order to be continuously accepted and having success right. So there's. There was like people pleasing on all levels like how can I be accepted in the United States community in a highly go, go, go, accomplishing day society and also in a very be quiet, be gentle, be soft and in a very Muslim community. And I got to the point like, when I was going through the divorce, I wanted to break everything and I wanted to break everything that was inside of me, to see what is in here, what is my truth, beyond the condition, beyond the structures, beyond the systems that are structured around us. That isn't our truth and that kind of led me to the path of the wild, primal, feminine self and which allowed me to realize that our brains are wired by our nervous system. Our brains are wired by these, these structures around us, but it's not our truth. And so if we listen to the depth, to the wisdom of our bodies, we can find the god there, we can find the goddess there and we can be led by what is needed at the moment. So you're going present moment to present moment, rather than going being in the past or being people pleasing or or sourcing anything outside of you.

Speaker 2:
8:28
So it helped me, like, truly fall in love with myself. I mean, I can easily say I, I love myself more than anything in the world and I can love myself without the productivity, without my business, without the service, without making difference in other people's life. I love myself for simply existing. Because I was able to, I have been able to, beautifully journey, you know, within, and also, like you know, we have this concept that that we start a healing journey and then there's an end to it, like, no, no, no, this is this is life. Right, this is life.

Speaker 2:
9:04
Like how, how much can right this is life. Like how, how much can you shed right? Like, how much can you peel away everything that you're not, that you were born into, to find that god-like substance within you that is just pure innocence. Play like a childlike play, and that's kind of what I sourced and within that I realized when you're playing, there's the archetypal play, right, you see children like playing all sorts of different roles and like they're now confined to a certain identity. And that's when all my structures work through, like, oh, I don't need to fit into a certain box, I can change moment to moment and be who I am moment to moment that is very important as well.

Speaker 1:
9:41
Thanks for sharing this and um also on this. Like um. How did the discipline like from your past help, or maybe the challenge that you embrace of sacred sexuality and the feminine power?

Speaker 2:
9:58
Yeah, the discipline piece, I think, is I'm so glad for my journey in the military and then also as an engineer and maybe for those of you who have tech background you needed some level of devotion and discipline to get through that really tough path and sharpening of the brain that's required. So, as you are, you know there's a reason why people don't want to look at their traumas in their past right, or their pain body, or they don't want to travel below their heads. They want to stay in their mind because it's hard, it's really hard, it's painful, it's painful, it's painful. I mean, when I've led men's circles, or even actually two days ago I led a women's circle. Grief and rage is something so hard for people to access, it's so taboo, it's so scary to be vulnerable. So it requires discipline and devotion, it requires saying I will continue to go into the darkness, no matter how hard it gets. So that discipline actually like wasn't necessary for me because for especially for my secret sexuality journey for two years straight, every single night, the moment sunset, I let the shadows come through and I allowed myself I would have a big mirror in front of me and I said I will face myself here every single night I will meet my child self. I will meet my also darkness. I will meet the evils inside of me. I will meet everything that is alive here the betrayal, the wound, everything, the joy, the eroticism, the desires, everything and I will bring it to light. So that requires a level of self-devotion and discipline and saying that, no matter how hard it gets, I will be there right. So that's a it's a huge discipline path, for sure.

Speaker 2:
11:39
And even in sexuality, there's a reason why people are addicts or pornography or also masturbation without the sacredness of it because it's easy, it's fast and quick and and they don't want to look into what is really their bodies are desiring. They don't want to listen to their genitals, the wisdom of their body of like, oh, this is what I'm desiring, oh, I'm running towards pornography because I'm actually running away from something else and my body is like surfacing right, like, oh, there's pain, body waking up and I want to run away, so I go towards that. So this is why I preach and really teach, like listening to the truth of the body through the sensations, and that will teach you how to be intimate with yourself and then from there you can create sacredness in every part of your experience, including your sexuality.

Speaker 1:
12:30
Wow, I mean it's really a profound shift, definitely Great. And also about like your work integrates tantra, shamanism and emotional alchemy. So for someone who is unfamiliar, like what does it mean to reconnect with our primal instincts?

Speaker 2:
12:52
So, if you can share a bit, yeah, what does it mean to connect with your primal instincts? Yeah, yeah, especially shamanism and tantric traditions. They're heavily elemental and energy-based practices, right, they allow you to wake up your energy body and you're meeting the subatomic particle of yourself. And I'll use an example Even those who dance right, we're in the dancing world. Or music world. We're like curated art forms. These are all choreographed.

Speaker 2:
13:27
But what happens if you play a piece of music and you just let your body move, let your energy body do what it wants to do, you notice that there's an animal aspect of ourselves. That's what I believe the primal instincts are that there is so sharp, it's so body-based that there is no thinking involved, that it connects directly to your higher self, directly to your energy body, and that's where the play starts to happen. So when I, for me, like, studying shamanism allowed me to connect with earth element, air element, fire element. So you're constantly moving with what is around you, you're listening to the deeper intelligence of the elements within you. Right, we are made of fire, air, earth, all the same elements. So, communing with ourselves through those elemental wisdom, that is something no one can teach you. That takes practice. Same with tantra. Someone can sit here and teach you what tantra is. But the primal wisdom is something you are constantly studying, especially for women, through your cycles, your everyday communing with what is happening inside of you. What earth element are you playing with? Where is your grounded energy? Where is your fire, your passion, your aliveness, where your airy, ascending higher consciousness traveling from? So you're working with different elemental wisdom and then you find that you know, one of the gifts of animals on this planet is to show us these instinctual self. So when I work with the jaguar, the way it became alive in my own body was this motherly grown energy, like this daddy, like energy of. I have lived through this wisdom and now I get to show up as this mother archetype, as a daddy archetype, grown archetype. And the jaguar, medicine for me, has allowed me to play in these different archetypal roles without being a 60, 70 year old woman, right. So you are really learning to be fluid. That's the primal instinct.

Speaker 2:
15:32
You see animals, they don't just stay in one form, they're actually continuously evolving as the environment demands itself. So you learn to like dance with the chaos, learn to dance with the elements. So that's what it is. It's like. Even if you talk to soldiers in combat right. Their trainings are thrown out the window, they become primal, they become instinctual, and that's what sex is too.

Speaker 2:
15:56
It's like no matter what knowledge, you can't teach sex. Of course, if you're an addict to pornography, you're going to have that impact through your brain. But even sexuality is like if there's love, deep love, present. What does love create in that sacred space? What happens with our bodies and our energy systems when there's deep, deep awareness through this energy body within us? So that's what it is.

Speaker 2:
16:21
It's allowing ourselves to be without the thinking mind.

Speaker 2:
16:24
You let go of the thinking mind and I would even advise like if, if you are curious to explore this, breath work is a good place to start, and like, not just any breath work, but like you do breath work to you know, turn off the part of your thinking brain and then put music on and dance, let your body move, watch yourself how your body wants to move and be curious in exploration without proper choreography, and then you learn the art of living in creativity that, wow, I can create so many businesses, I can create so many pieces of art and music and dance and real estate, and this and this and this.

Speaker 2:
17:02
Then you get to co-create with life without being in this fixed box. And this is actually something that men can work with too, because you have inner feminine as well right, feminine, primal instincts as well. So being able to tap into that can allow you to be in that creative zone of genius and create businesses and create wealth. And tap into this part of you that can get you out of the box, out of the thinking space and really create this magnetizing product in this world that serves the highest good of all. So it's so, it's so powerful to work with this energy, with myself wow, that's, that's really lovely one.

Speaker 1:
17:42
And um, also like, um dark feminine energy can sound intimidating to some people also. So, um, what it means, I mean, I mean if you can share some, uh, how embracing this energy can lead to the authentic joy and pleasure.

Speaker 2:
18:04
Yeah, so absolutely, the dark feminine. Especially on social media and Instagram and the Western world particularly, it's very whitewashed concept of dark feminine and it shows us to be like, essentially the negative connotation to Kalima when we don't understand right. So we were seeing like, oh, oh, she's just like wants to burn everything. Well, yes, of course the dark woman is the destroyer. However, why is she the destroyer? What is she destroying? What is the purpose of the destroyer? So, in simple terms, the dark feminine is all the aspects of yourself that flows through you that hasn't seen light, that hasn't been witnessed by you. It's very simple. It's not right. There's collective dark feminine shadow. So the taboo-ness of wealth, the taboo-ness of sexuality, but I wouldn't focus on that because that collective impact from patriarchy is existing within individual bodies, bodies. So, focusing it on where is the dark feminine alive within me, and going into places that hasn't seen the light, and going there, journeying into that, and you'll find that you have this primal part of you that has the capacity to face death, to face evil, to face standing up for your truth, that has the capacity to build very strong boundaries, that has built a sharp tongue right for, especially, women in India, pakistan, like this part of the world, arab women. We don't have sharp tongues anymore when we used to, even Tawai if I was just studying the courtesans of our culture where women had, you know, their beauty was celebrated, their dance was celebrated, their expression was celebrated by masculine and feminine. It wasn't this thing that was dirty, it was a highly high form of art and you know, because of colonization, what has happened to that? And a lot of women have lost it and have become so masculine and I wouldn't even say masculine, like more toxic masculine. So so the dark. So maybe I'll speak specifically to my case. Then that can give you the invitation to, for those of you listening of where your divine, your divine dark mother might be and dark feminine might be.

Speaker 2:
20:36
For me, it lied in the rage I had so much rage in my pain, body of, in all the places I was abused and didn't, couldn't stand up for myself. I always felt like I had chains around my throat, like I can't, I can't, and so when, every time I would have sleep, paralysis or all of that, I would, I would like, I would be like screaming in my dreams and like not being able to have a sound. So my dark feminine light and my inability to speak my truth. And now I do it right. Once I brought light to it, I can have this. You know I can speak about. You know I'm in Pakistan right now and I can talk about blood and I can talk about sex and I can talk about money, and people get freaked out for the first 10 seconds and immediately they release that, they like become relaxed around it because I have brought light to something that is dark in their life, because they don't want to talk about it, they're not ready for it.

Speaker 2:
21:28
And then for me also, it was grief. I had so much sadness and I still carry a lot of sadness in my body and we have this idea that women that, oh, we can't live a happy life if we have sadness. No, no, we can co-create with our, with our pain, body. We can co-create with the grief. You know, grief is not a bad thing and because of what I've gone through and my current relation with my family and and essentially what I'm saying is that we divided negative emotions and positive emotions, when everything is just energy in motion, that's it so, co-creating with that, then you can bring light to it.

Speaker 2:
22:06
So for me, rage, grief, this desire for um, exploring my own sexuality in a way that's sacred to me. All of those were shining light in places that hadn't seen light, so it's going to be different for everybody, but, of course, collectively we have um. You know we're seeing the feminine rise that's happening, that we have. You know we're seeing the feminine rise that's happening, that we have a collective rage, we have a collective voice. We're speaking about the same thing and we're all standing up for our truth and taking up our rightful spaces and also allowing our masculine men around us to rise as leaders in a way that's sacred to their hearts, right Like heart-led leaders, in a way that's sacred to their hearts, right Like heart-led leaders. So things are changing and Kalima is very much present on the globe right now and she's cutting through a lot of bullshit. We're watching the structures of the societies fall in place and we're seeing how it's not working. We're seeing United States, their colors show up. So this is a collective, dark feminine that is rising right now yeah, that's so lovely.

Speaker 1:
23:11
Yeah and uh. One more thing I end up to ask you, like, uh, you have lived through, uh, such a unique blend of experiences, um, like from the battlefield to the sacred feminine. If you could give one piece of advice to your younger self and and for the listeners also definitely what would it be?

Speaker 2:
23:39
yeah, let me feel into that one. Yeah, yeah. Create art with everything that is happening inside. Externalize it. Yeah, we're all artists in this world and create beautiful art. Create art with your grief. Create art with your rage. Create our heart art with your betrayal wound. Create art with everything that's happening in this world. It will help you to cope with life itself, because then you're engaging with life and giving it life itself. Um so, yeah, that would be my advice wow, that's lovely, great, that's a great advice.

Speaker 1:
24:27
It feels like a mantra we could all carry with us. Definitely so, uh, rimsa, this conversation has been nothing sort of transformative, I'd say so. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom, your journey and your heart. So, for all the listeners I'd love to mention like today's episode inspires you, uh, to reconnect with the wisdom of your own body and the cycles, and if you have loved this episode, make sure to subscribe to pleasure principles and share it with someone who needs this message. Definitely so. And also do not forget to check out rimsa's work at unbinary kundancom I'll also put this into the show notes for all of your reference, and definitely her insights are life-changing. Yeah, and also remember that cultivating pleasure isn't just about the indulgence. It's all about reclaiming your power, honoring your truth and also showing up for the life that you deserve. Am I correct, right, rimsha?

Speaker 2:
25:39
Yes, 100%.

Speaker 1:
25:41
Love us Great, so great. Dear listeners, until next time, keep leaning into the pleasure and living authentically. So thank you so much.