1
00:00:07,830 --> 00:00:10,560
Debra Pascali-Bonaro:: Welcome
to the Orgasmic Birth Podcast,
2
00:00:10,560 --> 00:00:14,310
where we explore ways to make
your birth and parenting
3
00:00:14,310 --> 00:00:19,500
experience positive, empowering
and uniquely yours. I'm Debra
4
00:00:19,500 --> 00:00:23,700
Pascali-Bonaro, your host. And
today, I want to dive into
5
00:00:23,700 --> 00:00:25,890
something close and dear to my
heart.
6
00:00:25,980 --> 00:00:29,580
People hear me talk all the time
about orgasmic birth, and they
7
00:00:29,580 --> 00:00:33,570
think that's for someone else.
That's only for people that are
8
00:00:33,570 --> 00:00:37,920
birthing at home and in birth
centers. And yes, home birth and
9
00:00:37,920 --> 00:00:41,520
birth centers do create an
environment that is more
10
00:00:41,520 --> 00:00:45,210
conducive to a pleasurable
birth, but you can have a
11
00:00:45,210 --> 00:00:48,030
pleasurable birth in a hospital
setting too.
12
00:00:48,660 --> 00:00:51,510
I want to talk to you today,
whether you're a first time
13
00:00:51,510 --> 00:00:54,690
parent or you're planning
another birth, I want you to
14
00:00:54,690 --> 00:01:00,330
have my five tips to help you
navigate a hospital environment,
15
00:01:00,480 --> 00:01:05,520
and ensure that you feel safe,
private, in control, supported
16
00:01:05,550 --> 00:01:10,410
and at peace so you can have a
pleasurable, orgasmic birth as
17
00:01:10,410 --> 00:01:15,540
well. So my first tip is
PREPARE. Prepare. Prepare. If
18
00:01:15,540 --> 00:01:18,900
you've been listening to our
podcast and you hear so many
19
00:01:18,900 --> 00:01:22,860
people share their story, they
either, if they had a first
20
00:01:22,860 --> 00:01:27,570
birth that was very joyful,
pleasurable, challenging and
21
00:01:27,600 --> 00:01:31,230
amazing, they did a lot of
preparation. And when they're
22
00:01:31,230 --> 00:01:35,490
coming back and joining us after
baby two, three or four, and
23
00:01:35,490 --> 00:01:39,870
they really look back, and they
always say, I wish I knew what I
24
00:01:39,870 --> 00:01:45,300
learned now before, and they
usually advocate for education
25
00:01:45,330 --> 00:01:49,920
its power. So I say one of the
first things to do is create a
26
00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:53,190
birth plan, or what I call birth
preferences.
27
00:01:53,000 --> 00:02:03,350
What other things will you want
on your comfort kit? I know, as
28
00:01:53,000 --> 00:02:29,897
And if you look in the notes,
I'm giving you a free template.
29
00:02:12,410 --> 00:03:04,040
a doula trainer, I do a lot of
teaching around how to use birth
30
00:02:30,502 --> 00:03:08,005
You can use our guide. You can
go in, choose your preferences,
31
00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:08,420
balls, peanut balls, the cub,
which stands for comfortable
32
00:03:08,450 --> 00:03:14,390
upright birth rebozo, showers,
tubs, touch, affirmations,
33
00:03:08,610 --> 00:03:43,693
print it out and have it as your
own tool. But it's really
34
00:03:14,390 --> 00:03:19,520
movement, dancing, all the ways
that you can bring comfort and
35
00:03:19,520 --> 00:03:24,020
pleasure too. And if you've been
listening to many podcasts, and
36
00:03:24,020 --> 00:03:27,470
we're going to be getting a lot
more into it, we have the
37
00:03:27,470 --> 00:03:32,960
science to really say that,
whether it's intimacy, kissing,
38
00:03:32,990 --> 00:03:37,100
self pleasure, nipple
stimulation, they're all great
39
00:03:37,100 --> 00:03:42,740
ways to reduce discomfort and
create more relaxation and ease.
40
00:03:42,950 --> 00:03:46,250
But you have to be able to
communicate whatever your
41
00:03:44,298 --> 00:04:18,777
important that whatever you use,
you clearly outline your
42
00:03:46,250 --> 00:03:50,810
preferences are to your birth
team. And so really taking the
43
00:03:50,810 --> 00:03:56,900
time to both write it down, but
also call ahead, ask for extra
44
00:03:56,900 --> 00:04:00,500
time at your next visit to say
that you'd like to go over this
45
00:04:00,500 --> 00:04:05,000
with them, and make sure that
they feel comfortable, that what
46
00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:09,260
you're desiring is a part of
what their practice is. This may
47
00:04:09,260 --> 00:04:14,570
include laboring out of bed a
lot, which we know creates more
48
00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:19,820
shorter, more comfortable, less
painful labors. And talk about
49
00:04:19,382 --> 00:04:55,675
preferences in a positive way,
what you want versus what you
50
00:04:19,850 --> 00:04:24,650
stand up and give birth. Don't
let anybody put you down.
51
00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:29,040
I say a lot of making sure that
upright birth positions are
52
00:04:29,040 --> 00:04:33,330
there. But I also say, you never
know what birth is going to ask
53
00:04:33,330 --> 00:04:36,870
of you, and you only get half
the equation. Your baby gets the
54
00:04:36,870 --> 00:04:40,440
other half. Sometimes, they take
the scenic route. They want to
55
00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:44,520
tore your pelvis sometimes for
their safety or well being, or
56
00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:48,930
your own. You might need some of
the assistance that medical care
57
00:04:48,930 --> 00:04:54,120
can give, maybe even epidural
cesarean birth, nitrous oxide,
58
00:04:54,300 --> 00:04:59,730
IV, intravenous drips, synthetic
oxytocin. There are many things.
59
00:04:56,280 --> 00:05:30,758
don't want. Too often, I see
people write things, I don't
60
00:05:00,030 --> 00:05:03,090
I would encourage you to go
through those as well, talk with
61
00:05:03,090 --> 00:05:06,810
your caregivers when they're
used, how they're used, and to
62
00:05:06,810 --> 00:05:11,400
make sure that you have a voice
and a choice in it. It's really
63
00:05:11,400 --> 00:05:14,520
important. We know that people
that look back and have birth
64
00:05:14,520 --> 00:05:19,800
trauma often had things done to
them without having the time to
65
00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:23,520
understand it, without having
the opportunity to either
66
00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:29,250
consent or refuse. And so this
tool of creating preferences is
67
00:05:29,250 --> 00:05:33,300
to kind of do your ideal birth,
what would you like? But if
68
00:05:31,363 --> 00:06:07,656
want this, I don't want that.
And already, that's putting it
69
00:05:33,300 --> 00:05:37,020
birth takes a different path,
every birth has the ability to
70
00:05:37,020 --> 00:05:41,160
be positive, and a big part of
that is you feel supported, you
71
00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:44,850
feel respected. You're a part of
decision making, and you have
72
00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:49,680
good communication with your
entire birth team. So put some
73
00:05:49,680 --> 00:05:53,670
time into creating your
preferences, and they may modify
74
00:05:53,700 --> 00:05:58,410
over time. But definitely
important to have and keep them
75
00:05:58,410 --> 00:05:59,310
flexible.
76
00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:04,490
Next is really tour your place
of birth. If this is a hospital,
77
00:06:04,700 --> 00:06:08,270
you really want to familiarize
yourself with the environment.
78
00:06:08,261 --> 00:06:46,368
in the negative. And we wonder
why so many caregivers are like,
79
00:06:08,390 --> 00:06:12,830
Most hospitals offer prenatal
tours, and you may have to call
80
00:06:12,830 --> 00:06:17,300
or go to the website and sign up
ahead of time. You really want
81
00:06:17,300 --> 00:06:20,930
to see the labor rooms. What are
they like? How do you feel when
82
00:06:20,930 --> 00:06:25,160
you enter them? Meet the staff.
Ask them questions about those
83
00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:28,580
policies. So laboring in
different positions. Can you be
84
00:06:28,580 --> 00:06:33,110
in the shower? Do they have
tubs? Do they allow you to labor
85
00:06:33,140 --> 00:06:37,850
and birth in the tub? How do
they feel about elements of
86
00:06:37,850 --> 00:06:41,180
pleasure? Will you have the
ability to have the privacy that
87
00:06:41,180 --> 00:06:45,560
you may desire for just love,
connection and intimacy with
88
00:06:45,560 --> 00:06:50,480
yourself or your partner? So
really to get a feel. And I
89
00:06:46,973 --> 00:07:26,291
oh, no, not another long list of
things people don't want. Really
90
00:06:50,480 --> 00:06:53,270
always say to people, if the
first place you see gives you
91
00:06:53,270 --> 00:06:59,300
hesitation, imagine this is like
a really sexy date, and if you
92
00:06:59,300 --> 00:07:02,210
thought you were going to a
place and this is where you are
93
00:07:02,210 --> 00:07:05,660
going to be the most vulnerable
and the most intimate, and you
94
00:07:05,660 --> 00:07:08,960
walk in and you're like, not
here. Most people would say,
95
00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:12,170
okay, we're finding another
location. Well, your birth
96
00:07:12,170 --> 00:07:16,850
deserves that same thing you've
heard us talk about. That the
97
00:07:16,850 --> 00:07:21,530
hormones of birth, the energy
that we bring to birth is very
98
00:07:21,530 --> 00:07:27,110
similar to the energy of
intimacy. So if you get that not
99
00:07:26,896 --> 00:08:05,608
important, think about what you
do want. Take responsibility for
100
00:07:27,110 --> 00:07:31,310
here feeling, you may want to
explore other places. So
101
00:07:31,310 --> 00:07:35,300
ideally, visit several different
birth sites and visit early
102
00:07:35,300 --> 00:07:39,200
enough in your pregnancy that
you can choose providers that
103
00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:43,880
are at the site that gives you a
sense of safety of giving you
104
00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:48,800
that privacy, and a place that
you know you could be intimate
105
00:07:48,860 --> 00:07:54,890
with yourself and your partner.
Create a comfort kit too. So if
106
00:07:54,890 --> 00:07:58,370
that birth room, and often any
birth room doesn't make you feel
107
00:07:58,370 --> 00:08:03,080
totally safe and sexy in it? You
can actually change it.
108
00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:06,620
I've talked about creating birth
ambience. So things like aroma
109
00:08:06,213 --> 00:08:42,506
that. Consider and make sure you
learn about the hormones of
110
00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:12,200
therapy, your favorite set list,
cozy snacks, cozy socks. Sorry,
111
00:08:12,230 --> 00:08:17,840
end snacks, a soft robe, items
that make you feel good. A lot
112
00:08:17,840 --> 00:08:20,330
of people wish they could bring
their pets, but you can't do
113
00:08:20,330 --> 00:08:24,620
that in a hospital. But you
could bring pictures of them. If
114
00:08:24,620 --> 00:08:28,430
you know my birth story, if
you've listened along the way, I
115
00:08:28,430 --> 00:08:31,820
spent some time literally
locked. I locked myself in the
116
00:08:31,820 --> 00:08:35,600
bathroom for a bit because I
wanted to be alone. I felt
117
00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:39,860
safest and private. And although
my great grandmother had passed
118
00:08:39,860 --> 00:08:44,720
on, I was really calling on her
strength and her wisdom of
119
00:08:43,111 --> 00:09:17,590
childbirth. We've talked about
that in numerous episodes,
120
00:08:44,720 --> 00:08:47,810
having birthed 8 children at
home. And my mother and
121
00:08:47,810 --> 00:08:51,800
grandmother at that time, were
300 miles away, but I felt their
122
00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:55,760
love and wisdom with me. So
again, it could be pictures of
123
00:08:55,760 --> 00:08:59,300
people that might have passed
on. It could be pictures of
124
00:08:59,300 --> 00:09:03,530
people that just are not there.
Maybe they live too far away, or
125
00:09:03,530 --> 00:09:06,920
you don't want them there, but
you want their love and energy
126
00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:11,390
there. So creating a sacred
space for yourself. You can
127
00:09:11,390 --> 00:09:16,370
really change a hospital room by
changing the lights, changing
128
00:09:16,370 --> 00:09:19,940
the smells, bringing in some of
your own effects. I always say,
129
00:09:18,195 --> 00:09:55,697
including two great ones with
Dr. Sarah Buckley, that you need
130
00:09:19,940 --> 00:09:23,690
bring your own pillow too. Their
pillows usually are not that
131
00:09:23,690 --> 00:09:27,950
cozy. But when you put some of
your things around, just think
132
00:09:27,950 --> 00:09:29,840
about how you can change that.
133
00:09:30,530 --> 00:09:36,110
And lastly, take a really good
childbirth class. I think it's
134
00:09:36,110 --> 00:09:42,380
super important that you have a
class that really gives you the
135
00:09:42,380 --> 00:09:45,860
knowledge that you need. That
types you through all those pain
136
00:09:45,860 --> 00:09:49,580
coping strategies, I like to
call them comfort measures, that
137
00:09:49,580 --> 00:09:52,940
talks about all the different
medical techniques and
138
00:09:52,940 --> 00:09:56,240
technology. What are the
benefits? What are the risks?
139
00:09:56,240 --> 00:09:59,990
What are the alternatives? And
if you do choose them or not
140
00:09:56,302 --> 00:10:31,386
to feel private, safe and
unobserved. As she said, to find
141
00:09:59,990 --> 00:10:03,710
need them, how can you do them
safely where you feel honored
142
00:10:03,710 --> 00:10:07,910
and respected, and still can
make this a really positive
143
00:10:07,910 --> 00:10:13,040
special experience? So we offer
our Pleasurable Birth Essentials
144
00:10:13,040 --> 00:10:17,690
with our own special, unique
brand of pleasure. Because I do
145
00:10:17,690 --> 00:10:22,220
believe that pleasure is a
really important ingredient to
146
00:10:22,220 --> 00:10:27,320
bring into prenatal preparation,
and can be really literally
147
00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:32,090
labor changing in birth. So
check out our Pleasurable Birth
148
00:10:31,990 --> 00:10:36,830
comfort.
149
00:10:32,090 --> 00:10:33,380
Essentials, but
150
00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:50,870
My not other category two is
really, set that mood for your
151
00:10:50,870 --> 00:10:54,530
birth room when you arrive. So
we kind of talked about thinking
152
00:10:54,530 --> 00:10:57,950
about it. But when you get
there, whether it's your doula,
153
00:10:57,950 --> 00:11:02,360
your partner, have someone
that's designated to keep the
154
00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:05,870
ambience, to adjust the
lighting, to put on the music.
155
00:11:05,870 --> 00:11:09,800
And so many partners love to DJ
the birth, and I love that,
156
00:11:09,890 --> 00:11:12,590
where they can queue up
different set lists for
157
00:11:12,590 --> 00:11:18,080
different feelings, and just
make it fun at times, and use
158
00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:22,340
that aroma therapy. I don't know
anybody when I say, if you were
159
00:11:22,340 --> 00:11:26,600
planning a really romantic
evening, would hospital smell be
160
00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:31,490
a part of it? And everybody kind
of squints up and goes, no. So
161
00:11:31,490 --> 00:11:35,870
change that fate space. And as I
mentioned, bring your favorite
162
00:11:35,870 --> 00:11:39,320
things around you. So when you
get to your birth space, have
163
00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:42,680
someone designated. Because if
you're in labor, you're not
164
00:11:42,680 --> 00:11:44,330
going to be the one doing that.
165
00:11:44,360 --> 00:11:47,390
I remember a couple times that
I've done a lot of birth art
166
00:11:47,390 --> 00:11:51,380
with clients as we're preparing
for birth, and one person had
167
00:11:51,380 --> 00:11:55,550
done so much. Actually, she was
an artist too, that we couldn't
168
00:11:55,550 --> 00:11:59,690
even fit all her art in the
room. So instead, she laid it
169
00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:04,340
all out on a gallery floor. Her
husband took up, shot down at
170
00:12:04,340 --> 00:12:09,770
it, and we actually pre measured
the wall that it would fit in
171
00:12:09,770 --> 00:12:13,100
the birthing space. And one of
the first things I did as the
172
00:12:13,100 --> 00:12:17,570
doula with sticky tack is put up
this beautiful one. We
173
00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:21,770
wallpapered with all her birth
art that expressed all her
174
00:12:21,770 --> 00:12:26,510
different fears, feelings,
desires, affirmations and
175
00:12:26,510 --> 00:12:31,070
wishes. So setting this space
and having the people that are
176
00:12:31,070 --> 00:12:35,330
going to transform it for you
very quickly. So when you get in
177
00:12:35,330 --> 00:12:38,540
it, and hopefully you're
arriving at the hospital where
178
00:12:38,540 --> 00:12:41,930
you're in good, hard labor so
you're not going to be the one
179
00:12:42,230 --> 00:12:46,820
putting that aroma therapy out
there. Having that done for you,
180
00:12:46,820 --> 00:12:51,530
but having done the pre work in
pregnancy to plan for it really
181
00:12:51,530 --> 00:12:55,790
shifts. Because when the space
feels like your space, you're
182
00:12:55,820 --> 00:13:01,550
going to move literally in
different ways versus coming in
183
00:13:01,550 --> 00:13:05,690
and having it feel like another
hospital room where you might
184
00:13:05,690 --> 00:13:09,260
feel that you need to get in the
bed and you become a patient
185
00:13:09,260 --> 00:13:13,160
where things are more done to
you, this is a day to stay in
186
00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:17,810
your power. And so when you make
this space your own, you're more
187
00:13:17,810 --> 00:13:22,010
likely to then move and do
things in your way.
188
00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:27,310
My third tip is advocate for
your needs. Use your brains,
189
00:13:27,310 --> 00:13:31,630
your voice and choice matters.
So again, communicate your
190
00:13:31,630 --> 00:13:36,820
preferences prenatally to your
caregiver. But really important
191
00:13:36,820 --> 00:13:41,050
in labor, you have a way how are
you going to make sure that your
192
00:13:41,050 --> 00:13:46,030
voice and choice is always
honored. Do you have a partner
193
00:13:46,060 --> 00:13:50,920
or a doula? Or both? Doulas are
really important. I feel at
194
00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:54,640
birth, and of course, I'm a
doula trainer so I have that
195
00:13:54,640 --> 00:13:59,260
bias. But often when you're in
labor, you have trouble really
196
00:13:59,260 --> 00:14:03,070
advocating and speaking for
yourself. And sometimes, if you
197
00:14:03,070 --> 00:14:05,080
ever been in that place where
you don't even know what you
198
00:14:05,080 --> 00:14:10,270
don't know, what are your
options? And partners get really
199
00:14:10,420 --> 00:14:14,500
often too, like they don't know,
they're so concerned with
200
00:14:14,500 --> 00:14:18,070
providing the care that they
can, that the doula is that
201
00:14:18,070 --> 00:14:22,300
person that's going to see
what's happening and facilitate
202
00:14:22,300 --> 00:14:23,290
communication.
203
00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:28,750
A doula will never speak for
you, but a doula will amplify
204
00:14:28,750 --> 00:14:33,370
your voice, will create the
space to say, do we want to take
205
00:14:33,370 --> 00:14:37,840
a minute here to really
understand what your choices and
206
00:14:37,840 --> 00:14:41,920
options are. To facilitate that
positive communication when
207
00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:45,970
caregivers are speaking to thank
them and honor them. And then
208
00:14:45,970 --> 00:14:48,760
check with you, did you
understand that? Do you need
209
00:14:48,760 --> 00:14:52,750
them to restate it? Do you have
questions? Do you want to know
210
00:14:52,750 --> 00:14:57,190
more? Do you need a little time
and space to take that all in
211
00:14:57,190 --> 00:15:01,240
because you're in labor? To
really make a decision if that's
212
00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:05,500
the right next step for you. So
of course, there are moments
213
00:15:05,500 --> 00:15:08,860
where things are more urgent,
and we don't have the time. But
214
00:15:08,860 --> 00:15:14,260
in labor, 99% of decisions have
the time and space for you to
215
00:15:14,260 --> 00:15:18,310
make sure your voice and choice
are in it, and a doula is really
216
00:15:18,310 --> 00:15:22,150
great at facilitating that. And
then making sure, even if you
217
00:15:22,150 --> 00:15:27,070
only have one word, a yes or a
no, that that is heard. Did you
218
00:15:27,070 --> 00:15:32,770
hear that that person just said
yes or that person said no? So
219
00:15:32,770 --> 00:15:37,990
we're really good at that. And I
said the brains at the top,
220
00:15:38,080 --> 00:15:41,440
again, I've done other podcasts
on this, but that stands for
221
00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:44,860
really understanding the
benefits, risks, alternatives,
222
00:15:45,130 --> 00:15:48,700
what does your intuition say? Or
how do you feel about it?
223
00:15:49,860 --> 00:15:56,370
Not now. I need more time. Or
maybe it's a no, not at all. And
224
00:15:56,370 --> 00:16:00,120
the S is that whatever you
decide that you feel safe and
225
00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:04,950
how the process goes. And I add
sexy because the hormones of
226
00:16:04,950 --> 00:16:08,790
birth are the hormones of
intimacy. And if you have
227
00:16:08,790 --> 00:16:12,270
certain choices that are
interventions, they can
228
00:16:12,270 --> 00:16:16,920
sometimes create hormonal gaps.
And again, Dr. Buckley talked
229
00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:20,730
about that in our earlier
podcast. And so how can you
230
00:16:20,730 --> 00:16:25,350
safely fill those gaps? I call
them your personal pleasure
231
00:16:25,350 --> 00:16:28,320
tools, or oxytocin enhancers.
232
00:16:29,110 --> 00:16:34,180
And my four is really, I hope
you're going to dive deep into
233
00:16:34,180 --> 00:16:39,490
this, is comfort and pleasure.
What are your coping with labor
234
00:16:39,490 --> 00:16:44,320
sensations? So I hope through
your preferences as we started,
235
00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:48,190
you've really put these down,
and you've talked with staff
236
00:16:48,190 --> 00:16:52,210
that this is part of what they
encourage and support to staying
237
00:16:52,210 --> 00:16:57,940
mobile. How much of the time do
they monitor you? And do they
238
00:16:57,940 --> 00:17:02,890
have wireless monitoring? And
more facilities do kind of like
239
00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:05,830
a cell phone. You can walk
anywhere and talk, well, that
240
00:17:05,830 --> 00:17:09,790
technology can be with fetal
monitors too. If you're still
241
00:17:09,790 --> 00:17:12,940
going to a place where you have
to stay close to the machine and
242
00:17:12,940 --> 00:17:16,690
it's plugged in, that's like
years ago when that phone was in
243
00:17:16,690 --> 00:17:20,170
the kitchen, if any of you
remember, on a cord, and you
244
00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:24,370
only could get as far away as
the cord took you. So you really
245
00:17:24,370 --> 00:17:28,690
want to know what those options
are. Do they provide birth
246
00:17:28,690 --> 00:17:33,160
balls, peanut balls, birthing
stools, squat bars, upright
247
00:17:33,190 --> 00:17:37,810
birth things? Do they provide
tubs? Is there a shower
248
00:17:37,810 --> 00:17:42,610
available in every room? Can you
labor and birth in the tub?
249
00:17:42,750 --> 00:17:47,520
Because we know that water, many
call the aquadural, and again,
250
00:17:47,520 --> 00:17:52,020
we had an episode with Barbara
Harper, our water birth guru, on
251
00:17:52,020 --> 00:17:56,010
the many benefits of laboring
and birthing in water. I've been
252
00:17:56,010 --> 00:17:59,730
at many water births, and people
said it was better than the
253
00:17:59,730 --> 00:18:04,500
epidural. It gave them so much
relief, but without all the
254
00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:09,240
wiring and the risks that do
come with epidurals. Are you
255
00:18:09,360 --> 00:18:13,050
working on breathing? Do you
have tools that you're bringing
256
00:18:13,050 --> 00:18:18,450
for relaxation? I talk a lot in
my workshops about Penny
257
00:18:18,450 --> 00:18:24,540
Simpkin's three Rs, Relaxation,
Rhythm and Ritual. So how are
258
00:18:24,540 --> 00:18:29,130
you doing that? How is breath a
part of bringing you that
259
00:18:29,130 --> 00:18:32,880
relaxation? And then, when you
think about comfort, measures,
260
00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:36,810
right? Make yourself a list.
There's not a one size fit all
261
00:18:36,810 --> 00:18:40,440
approach. And often you don't
know ahead of time which are the
262
00:18:40,440 --> 00:18:44,340
things that are going to work
for you. And of course, no one
263
00:18:44,340 --> 00:18:47,880
should suffer in childbirth.
There's a time and a place for
264
00:18:47,880 --> 00:18:52,620
epidurals, for nitrous oxide,
for other things that are more
265
00:18:52,620 --> 00:18:56,880
pharmacological to provide you
comfort. But you need to know
266
00:18:57,120 --> 00:19:00,540
what exists. where you're going
birth? What are their options?
267
00:19:00,630 --> 00:19:04,950
What do they do? First line,
which we often say, are the non
268
00:19:04,950 --> 00:19:09,030
pharmacological. All those
movement, touch, massage, water,
269
00:19:09,030 --> 00:19:12,810
dancing, singing in that. And
then, do they have nitrous
270
00:19:12,810 --> 00:19:17,280
oxide, laughing gas? What are
the other steps?
271
00:19:17,360 --> 00:19:21,830
So definitely, the other thing I
want to add to comfort measures
272
00:19:21,830 --> 00:19:26,360
and be listening, because we
have a lot of podcasts coming up
273
00:19:26,360 --> 00:19:31,130
for you about people that used
self pleasure and had some
274
00:19:31,130 --> 00:19:36,020
really wonderful self pleasure
tools that made all the
275
00:19:36,020 --> 00:19:41,450
difference, and they really are
saying that they felt a lot less
276
00:19:41,450 --> 00:19:48,260
pain, it created much more ease,
relaxation, even opening less
277
00:19:48,260 --> 00:19:53,030
tearing. There's a lot of
stories coming. And I think that
278
00:19:53,030 --> 00:19:58,700
too often, based on shame and
stigma, we haven't connected how
279
00:19:58,700 --> 00:20:02,660
much pleasure, especially self
pleasure, can play a role in
280
00:20:02,660 --> 00:20:07,610
birth, and we're starting to get
the data and the stories that
281
00:20:07,610 --> 00:20:11,900
really talk about the benefits.
So again, if that's something
282
00:20:11,900 --> 00:20:14,780
you want to learn more of, stay
tuned. We're going to be
283
00:20:14,780 --> 00:20:18,230
offering you a lot more in the
coming days. But it's also
284
00:20:18,230 --> 00:20:20,990
something you want to really
consider, can you talk with your
285
00:20:20,990 --> 00:20:27,260
care team? Because having your
full pleasure treasure chest of
286
00:20:27,260 --> 00:20:30,950
coping mechanisms and
understanding what they are and
287
00:20:30,950 --> 00:20:33,830
how they can be used is really
important.
288
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:37,801
And my fifth tip is, there's two
of you. What about the baby? And
289
00:20:37,875 --> 00:20:41,791
so every birth story is unique.
Your baby, it's their
290
00:20:41,864 --> 00:20:45,780
experience, it's your
experience. And sometimes, your
291
00:20:45,854 --> 00:20:49,843
birth story is going to be
different than you may have
292
00:20:49,917 --> 00:20:54,645
desired or envisioned. But what
a gift to maybe make that change
293
00:20:52,710 --> 00:21:55,200
When a baby's skin to skin,
they're also in this beautiful
294
00:20:54,719 --> 00:20:59,003
for your baby's safety to
welcome them. But once that baby
295
00:20:59,077 --> 00:21:03,214
is there, you have a real
opportunity to make this first
296
00:21:03,288 --> 00:21:07,499
hour or two very special. So
really important to put that
297
00:21:07,573 --> 00:21:12,301
baby skin to skin. We know skin
to skin care actually regulates.
298
00:21:12,375 --> 00:21:16,807
The birthing body regulates the
baby's temperature up to two
299
00:21:16,881 --> 00:21:21,461
degrees or down one degree. That
regulation is far better than
300
00:21:21,535 --> 00:21:25,746
any warmer. I always joke that
those warmers are good for
301
00:21:25,820 --> 00:21:29,883
french fries, but not for
babies. We know that not only
302
00:21:29,957 --> 00:21:34,315
will they stay warmer skin to
skin, they're getting all the
303
00:21:34,389 --> 00:21:38,674
wonderful microbiome. They're
seeding their gut intestine.
304
00:21:38,748 --> 00:21:43,328
They need to get that birthing
person. And later, if there's a
305
00:21:43,402 --> 00:21:47,687
partner, partners skin to skin
with that baby, but it also
306
00:21:47,761 --> 00:21:50,790
regulates their heart rate and breathing.
307
00:21:55,230 --> 00:22:00,870
oxytocin, the love hormone
bubble after birth, and that's
308
00:22:00,870 --> 00:22:04,980
helping them to stay calm and
connected, and it's what helps
309
00:22:04,980 --> 00:22:10,650
you fall in love to really get
to know each other and just be
310
00:22:10,650 --> 00:22:14,580
together. When a baby is
separated, they have response
311
00:22:14,580 --> 00:22:19,020
called protest, despair. A baby
that's separated over on that
312
00:22:19,020 --> 00:22:24,120
warmer will cry, that's protest.
And babies only stop crying of
313
00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:28,260
two reasons. They either get
back to their mother and then
314
00:22:28,260 --> 00:22:31,830
they're where they want to be,
or they go into despair when
315
00:22:31,830 --> 00:22:36,570
they're too tired to carry on
protesting. Babies in despair
316
00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:40,290
have very high levels of stress
hormones, adrenaline and
317
00:22:40,290 --> 00:22:44,850
cortisol, which will lower their
core body temperature, and more
318
00:22:44,850 --> 00:22:49,320
likely throw their breathing and
their heart rate off. So too
319
00:22:49,320 --> 00:22:52,890
often, we separate a baby and
then say that they have to stay
320
00:22:52,890 --> 00:22:55,620
separated because they're not
warm enough for their breathing
321
00:22:55,620 --> 00:22:59,250
or their heart is off when
that's all an artifact of
322
00:22:59,250 --> 00:23:01,560
separation, protest, despair.
323
00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:06,330
So really, doing a preference. I
always say one page about your
324
00:23:06,330 --> 00:23:10,230
first hour or two with your
baby, and even babies with many
325
00:23:10,230 --> 00:23:14,340
special needs do better. If
they're skin to skin, we can
326
00:23:14,340 --> 00:23:18,420
still have pediatrics there.
They can be getting oxygen.
327
00:23:18,540 --> 00:23:23,250
Babies that need extra care can
get it, but the best incubator
328
00:23:23,280 --> 00:23:27,930
is the birthing body. So really,
talk about that. There's a lot
329
00:23:27,930 --> 00:23:32,100
of research now on delayed cord
clamping, that that cord is
330
00:23:32,100 --> 00:23:36,690
still pulsing. It's bringing
that really rich, oxygenated
331
00:23:36,690 --> 00:23:41,790
blood to the baby. And if that
cord is cut before the blood has
332
00:23:41,790 --> 00:23:46,890
settled, the baby can lose up to
1/3 of their blood volume. Yes,
333
00:23:46,920 --> 00:23:51,750
1/3. Think about that. If you
lost a 30 year blood today, how
334
00:23:51,750 --> 00:23:55,650
would you feel? And those poor
babies can't let us know, but
335
00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:59,670
they must not feel good for
quite some time to be able to
336
00:23:59,670 --> 00:24:04,080
bring back that volume of blood.
And some research says it can
337
00:24:04,080 --> 00:24:07,050
actually weaken their immune
system. I read one study that
338
00:24:07,050 --> 00:25:38,310
even went out four to six
months. So this first hour is
339
00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:12,356
So back to our first one,
really, knowing your
340
00:24:12,363 --> 00:24:12,851
preferences, and not only what
you desire in labor, but writing
341
00:24:12,859 --> 00:24:13,316
a separate one, because staff
could be changing at the time
342
00:24:13,323 --> 00:24:13,788
you're giving birth. Having
something short and simple where
343
00:24:13,796 --> 00:24:14,268
you can talk about your desires
to stay connected, to be with
344
00:24:14,276 --> 00:24:14,880
your baby in that first hour or
two. And this also will support breastfeeding.
345
00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:20,534
Now, I do want to say, once
you're settled in a day, two or
346
00:24:20,630 --> 00:24:26,477
three, whenever you're in your
own bed and you have the time,
347
00:24:26,572 --> 00:24:32,611
it's really important to reflect
on birth. As doulas, it's part
348
00:24:32,706 --> 00:24:38,074
of our postpartum visit. We call
it processing the birth
349
00:24:38,170 --> 00:24:43,728
experience or debriefing, but
it's so important for you to
350
00:24:43,824 --> 00:24:49,575
acknowledge your strengths.
Birth often asks more of us than
351
00:24:49,671 --> 00:24:55,709
we could have imagined, and it's
discovering that there is this
352
00:24:55,805 --> 00:25:01,843
well within us that you're going
to find. That you'll bring not
353
00:25:01,939 --> 00:25:07,881
only into motherhood, but you'll
bring it into every aspect of
354
00:25:07,977 --> 00:25:13,536
your life. So taking time with
the people at your birth to
355
00:25:13,632 --> 00:25:19,574
really share your feelings and
for things that went different,
356
00:25:19,670 --> 00:25:25,325
to talk about how that felt,
that it went different. Did it
357
00:25:25,420 --> 00:25:31,171
go in a way that you still felt
safe, honored, respected and
358
00:25:31,267 --> 00:25:37,305
part of decision making? And if
not, what would you have liked?
359
00:25:37,401 --> 00:25:39,510
It's really important.
360
00:25:38,310 --> 00:25:38,970
really important.
361
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:43,389
Healing begins as you start
really honoring every aspect of
362
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:48,870
I hope these tips, especially in
a hospital. Taking the time to
363
00:25:43,463 --> 00:25:47,704
your birth story and celebrate
your wins. No one fails in
364
00:25:47,778 --> 00:25:52,391
birth. I always feel when people
say, I didn't have this, or I
365
00:25:49,170 --> 00:25:57,090
prepare ahead. Have a good class
that really prepares you. Visit
366
00:25:52,465 --> 00:25:57,152
didn't have that, but you gave
birth. And so again, every birth
367
00:25:57,227 --> 00:26:01,468
is unique. Every birth is
different. Every birth deserves
368
00:25:58,290 --> 00:26:05,400
your hospital, write your
preferences, communicate them
369
00:26:01,542 --> 00:26:06,378
to be celebrated. Sometimes, you
had to dig deeper into that well
370
00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:22,800
ahead with your care team.
Because if you're hoping for one
371
00:26:06,452 --> 00:26:11,214
of strength than you ever would
have imagined prior. But this is
372
00:26:11,288 --> 00:26:15,677
something to take pride in. If
you've watched our film, our
373
00:26:15,752 --> 00:26:19,993
documentary Orgasmic Birth,
there's a scene I always love
374
00:26:20,067 --> 00:26:24,456
where Trisha is just holding
that newborn and says, I'm not
375
00:26:22,800 --> 00:27:11,340
thing, and that's not what they
give you, that's going to be
376
00:26:24,531 --> 00:26:28,995
afraid to tell the whole world
how proud I am of myself. And
377
00:26:29,069 --> 00:26:33,384
when we show the film in public,
and I get to look around,
378
00:26:33,458 --> 00:26:38,294
there's often quite a few cheers
in the audience. Because I think
379
00:26:38,369 --> 00:26:42,684
that we don't say enough how
proud we are of ourselves for
380
00:26:42,758 --> 00:26:47,594
birthing our babies, for being a
part of this process wherever it
381
00:26:47,668 --> 00:26:51,240
is. I know that you can do it
with pleasure too.
382
00:27:11,340 --> 00:27:14,610
part of the disconnect that
you'll feel in birth. So knowing
383
00:27:14,610 --> 00:27:18,840
ahead, are you in the right
place? Do you feel safe, private
384
00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:22,950
and unobserved? And do you feel
safe to talk with them about
385
00:27:22,950 --> 00:27:27,120
your pleasure? Can you bring
that in? Can you transform the
386
00:27:27,120 --> 00:27:33,000
space into one that's your space
so that you stay in your power?
387
00:27:33,210 --> 00:27:37,290
You've got this, and I look
forward to hearing from you. I
388
00:27:37,290 --> 00:27:41,400
hope these tips have supported
you with some ideas to write
389
00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:46,320
down how you can have a
pleasurable, and I say, yes,
390
00:27:46,440 --> 00:27:48,810
orgasmic hospital birth.
00:00:07,830 --> 00:00:10,560
Debra Pascali-Bonaro:: Welcome
to the Orgasmic Birth Podcast,
2
00:00:10,560 --> 00:00:14,310
where we explore ways to make
your birth and parenting
3
00:00:14,310 --> 00:00:19,500
experience positive, empowering
and uniquely yours. I'm Debra
4
00:00:19,500 --> 00:00:23,700
Pascali-Bonaro, your host. And
today, I want to dive into
5
00:00:23,700 --> 00:00:25,890
something close and dear to my
heart.
6
00:00:25,980 --> 00:00:29,580
People hear me talk all the time
about orgasmic birth, and they
7
00:00:29,580 --> 00:00:33,570
think that's for someone else.
That's only for people that are
8
00:00:33,570 --> 00:00:37,920
birthing at home and in birth
centers. And yes, home birth and
9
00:00:37,920 --> 00:00:41,520
birth centers do create an
environment that is more
10
00:00:41,520 --> 00:00:45,210
conducive to a pleasurable
birth, but you can have a
11
00:00:45,210 --> 00:00:48,030
pleasurable birth in a hospital
setting too.
12
00:00:48,660 --> 00:00:51,510
I want to talk to you today,
whether you're a first time
13
00:00:51,510 --> 00:00:54,690
parent or you're planning
another birth, I want you to
14
00:00:54,690 --> 00:01:00,330
have my five tips to help you
navigate a hospital environment,
15
00:01:00,480 --> 00:01:05,520
and ensure that you feel safe,
private, in control, supported
16
00:01:05,550 --> 00:01:10,410
and at peace so you can have a
pleasurable, orgasmic birth as
17
00:01:10,410 --> 00:01:15,540
well. So my first tip is
PREPARE. Prepare. Prepare. If
18
00:01:15,540 --> 00:01:18,900
you've been listening to our
podcast and you hear so many
19
00:01:18,900 --> 00:01:22,860
people share their story, they
either, if they had a first
20
00:01:22,860 --> 00:01:27,570
birth that was very joyful,
pleasurable, challenging and
21
00:01:27,600 --> 00:01:31,230
amazing, they did a lot of
preparation. And when they're
22
00:01:31,230 --> 00:01:35,490
coming back and joining us after
baby two, three or four, and
23
00:01:35,490 --> 00:01:39,870
they really look back, and they
always say, I wish I knew what I
24
00:01:39,870 --> 00:01:45,300
learned now before, and they
usually advocate for education
25
00:01:45,330 --> 00:01:49,920
its power. So I say one of the
first things to do is create a
26
00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:53,190
birth plan, or what I call birth
preferences.
27
00:01:53,000 --> 00:02:03,350
What other things will you want
on your comfort kit? I know, as
28
00:01:53,000 --> 00:02:29,897
And if you look in the notes,
I'm giving you a free template.
29
00:02:12,410 --> 00:03:04,040
a doula trainer, I do a lot of
teaching around how to use birth
30
00:02:30,502 --> 00:03:08,005
You can use our guide. You can
go in, choose your preferences,
31
00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:08,420
balls, peanut balls, the cub,
which stands for comfortable
32
00:03:08,450 --> 00:03:14,390
upright birth rebozo, showers,
tubs, touch, affirmations,
33
00:03:08,610 --> 00:03:43,693
print it out and have it as your
own tool. But it's really
34
00:03:14,390 --> 00:03:19,520
movement, dancing, all the ways
that you can bring comfort and
35
00:03:19,520 --> 00:03:24,020
pleasure too. And if you've been
listening to many podcasts, and
36
00:03:24,020 --> 00:03:27,470
we're going to be getting a lot
more into it, we have the
37
00:03:27,470 --> 00:03:32,960
science to really say that,
whether it's intimacy, kissing,
38
00:03:32,990 --> 00:03:37,100
self pleasure, nipple
stimulation, they're all great
39
00:03:37,100 --> 00:03:42,740
ways to reduce discomfort and
create more relaxation and ease.
40
00:03:42,950 --> 00:03:46,250
But you have to be able to
communicate whatever your
41
00:03:44,298 --> 00:04:18,777
important that whatever you use,
you clearly outline your
42
00:03:46,250 --> 00:03:50,810
preferences are to your birth
team. And so really taking the
43
00:03:50,810 --> 00:03:56,900
time to both write it down, but
also call ahead, ask for extra
44
00:03:56,900 --> 00:04:00,500
time at your next visit to say
that you'd like to go over this
45
00:04:00,500 --> 00:04:05,000
with them, and make sure that
they feel comfortable, that what
46
00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:09,260
you're desiring is a part of
what their practice is. This may
47
00:04:09,260 --> 00:04:14,570
include laboring out of bed a
lot, which we know creates more
48
00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:19,820
shorter, more comfortable, less
painful labors. And talk about
49
00:04:19,382 --> 00:04:55,675
preferences in a positive way,
what you want versus what you
50
00:04:19,850 --> 00:04:24,650
stand up and give birth. Don't
let anybody put you down.
51
00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:29,040
I say a lot of making sure that
upright birth positions are
52
00:04:29,040 --> 00:04:33,330
there. But I also say, you never
know what birth is going to ask
53
00:04:33,330 --> 00:04:36,870
of you, and you only get half
the equation. Your baby gets the
54
00:04:36,870 --> 00:04:40,440
other half. Sometimes, they take
the scenic route. They want to
55
00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:44,520
tore your pelvis sometimes for
their safety or well being, or
56
00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:48,930
your own. You might need some of
the assistance that medical care
57
00:04:48,930 --> 00:04:54,120
can give, maybe even epidural
cesarean birth, nitrous oxide,
58
00:04:54,300 --> 00:04:59,730
IV, intravenous drips, synthetic
oxytocin. There are many things.
59
00:04:56,280 --> 00:05:30,758
don't want. Too often, I see
people write things, I don't
60
00:05:00,030 --> 00:05:03,090
I would encourage you to go
through those as well, talk with
61
00:05:03,090 --> 00:05:06,810
your caregivers when they're
used, how they're used, and to
62
00:05:06,810 --> 00:05:11,400
make sure that you have a voice
and a choice in it. It's really
63
00:05:11,400 --> 00:05:14,520
important. We know that people
that look back and have birth
64
00:05:14,520 --> 00:05:19,800
trauma often had things done to
them without having the time to
65
00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:23,520
understand it, without having
the opportunity to either
66
00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:29,250
consent or refuse. And so this
tool of creating preferences is
67
00:05:29,250 --> 00:05:33,300
to kind of do your ideal birth,
what would you like? But if
68
00:05:31,363 --> 00:06:07,656
want this, I don't want that.
And already, that's putting it
69
00:05:33,300 --> 00:05:37,020
birth takes a different path,
every birth has the ability to
70
00:05:37,020 --> 00:05:41,160
be positive, and a big part of
that is you feel supported, you
71
00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:44,850
feel respected. You're a part of
decision making, and you have
72
00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:49,680
good communication with your
entire birth team. So put some
73
00:05:49,680 --> 00:05:53,670
time into creating your
preferences, and they may modify
74
00:05:53,700 --> 00:05:58,410
over time. But definitely
important to have and keep them
75
00:05:58,410 --> 00:05:59,310
flexible.
76
00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:04,490
Next is really tour your place
of birth. If this is a hospital,
77
00:06:04,700 --> 00:06:08,270
you really want to familiarize
yourself with the environment.
78
00:06:08,261 --> 00:06:46,368
in the negative. And we wonder
why so many caregivers are like,
79
00:06:08,390 --> 00:06:12,830
Most hospitals offer prenatal
tours, and you may have to call
80
00:06:12,830 --> 00:06:17,300
or go to the website and sign up
ahead of time. You really want
81
00:06:17,300 --> 00:06:20,930
to see the labor rooms. What are
they like? How do you feel when
82
00:06:20,930 --> 00:06:25,160
you enter them? Meet the staff.
Ask them questions about those
83
00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:28,580
policies. So laboring in
different positions. Can you be
84
00:06:28,580 --> 00:06:33,110
in the shower? Do they have
tubs? Do they allow you to labor
85
00:06:33,140 --> 00:06:37,850
and birth in the tub? How do
they feel about elements of
86
00:06:37,850 --> 00:06:41,180
pleasure? Will you have the
ability to have the privacy that
87
00:06:41,180 --> 00:06:45,560
you may desire for just love,
connection and intimacy with
88
00:06:45,560 --> 00:06:50,480
yourself or your partner? So
really to get a feel. And I
89
00:06:46,973 --> 00:07:26,291
oh, no, not another long list of
things people don't want. Really
90
00:06:50,480 --> 00:06:53,270
always say to people, if the
first place you see gives you
91
00:06:53,270 --> 00:06:59,300
hesitation, imagine this is like
a really sexy date, and if you
92
00:06:59,300 --> 00:07:02,210
thought you were going to a
place and this is where you are
93
00:07:02,210 --> 00:07:05,660
going to be the most vulnerable
and the most intimate, and you
94
00:07:05,660 --> 00:07:08,960
walk in and you're like, not
here. Most people would say,
95
00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:12,170
okay, we're finding another
location. Well, your birth
96
00:07:12,170 --> 00:07:16,850
deserves that same thing you've
heard us talk about. That the
97
00:07:16,850 --> 00:07:21,530
hormones of birth, the energy
that we bring to birth is very
98
00:07:21,530 --> 00:07:27,110
similar to the energy of
intimacy. So if you get that not
99
00:07:26,896 --> 00:08:05,608
important, think about what you
do want. Take responsibility for
100
00:07:27,110 --> 00:07:31,310
here feeling, you may want to
explore other places. So
101
00:07:31,310 --> 00:07:35,300
ideally, visit several different
birth sites and visit early
102
00:07:35,300 --> 00:07:39,200
enough in your pregnancy that
you can choose providers that
103
00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:43,880
are at the site that gives you a
sense of safety of giving you
104
00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:48,800
that privacy, and a place that
you know you could be intimate
105
00:07:48,860 --> 00:07:54,890
with yourself and your partner.
Create a comfort kit too. So if
106
00:07:54,890 --> 00:07:58,370
that birth room, and often any
birth room doesn't make you feel
107
00:07:58,370 --> 00:08:03,080
totally safe and sexy in it? You
can actually change it.
108
00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:06,620
I've talked about creating birth
ambience. So things like aroma
109
00:08:06,213 --> 00:08:42,506
that. Consider and make sure you
learn about the hormones of
110
00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:12,200
therapy, your favorite set list,
cozy snacks, cozy socks. Sorry,
111
00:08:12,230 --> 00:08:17,840
end snacks, a soft robe, items
that make you feel good. A lot
112
00:08:17,840 --> 00:08:20,330
of people wish they could bring
their pets, but you can't do
113
00:08:20,330 --> 00:08:24,620
that in a hospital. But you
could bring pictures of them. If
114
00:08:24,620 --> 00:08:28,430
you know my birth story, if
you've listened along the way, I
115
00:08:28,430 --> 00:08:31,820
spent some time literally
locked. I locked myself in the
116
00:08:31,820 --> 00:08:35,600
bathroom for a bit because I
wanted to be alone. I felt
117
00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:39,860
safest and private. And although
my great grandmother had passed
118
00:08:39,860 --> 00:08:44,720
on, I was really calling on her
strength and her wisdom of
119
00:08:43,111 --> 00:09:17,590
childbirth. We've talked about
that in numerous episodes,
120
00:08:44,720 --> 00:08:47,810
having birthed 8 children at
home. And my mother and
121
00:08:47,810 --> 00:08:51,800
grandmother at that time, were
300 miles away, but I felt their
122
00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:55,760
love and wisdom with me. So
again, it could be pictures of
123
00:08:55,760 --> 00:08:59,300
people that might have passed
on. It could be pictures of
124
00:08:59,300 --> 00:09:03,530
people that just are not there.
Maybe they live too far away, or
125
00:09:03,530 --> 00:09:06,920
you don't want them there, but
you want their love and energy
126
00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:11,390
there. So creating a sacred
space for yourself. You can
127
00:09:11,390 --> 00:09:16,370
really change a hospital room by
changing the lights, changing
128
00:09:16,370 --> 00:09:19,940
the smells, bringing in some of
your own effects. I always say,
129
00:09:18,195 --> 00:09:55,697
including two great ones with
Dr. Sarah Buckley, that you need
130
00:09:19,940 --> 00:09:23,690
bring your own pillow too. Their
pillows usually are not that
131
00:09:23,690 --> 00:09:27,950
cozy. But when you put some of
your things around, just think
132
00:09:27,950 --> 00:09:29,840
about how you can change that.
133
00:09:30,530 --> 00:09:36,110
And lastly, take a really good
childbirth class. I think it's
134
00:09:36,110 --> 00:09:42,380
super important that you have a
class that really gives you the
135
00:09:42,380 --> 00:09:45,860
knowledge that you need. That
types you through all those pain
136
00:09:45,860 --> 00:09:49,580
coping strategies, I like to
call them comfort measures, that
137
00:09:49,580 --> 00:09:52,940
talks about all the different
medical techniques and
138
00:09:52,940 --> 00:09:56,240
technology. What are the
benefits? What are the risks?
139
00:09:56,240 --> 00:09:59,990
What are the alternatives? And
if you do choose them or not
140
00:09:56,302 --> 00:10:31,386
to feel private, safe and
unobserved. As she said, to find
141
00:09:59,990 --> 00:10:03,710
need them, how can you do them
safely where you feel honored
142
00:10:03,710 --> 00:10:07,910
and respected, and still can
make this a really positive
143
00:10:07,910 --> 00:10:13,040
special experience? So we offer
our Pleasurable Birth Essentials
144
00:10:13,040 --> 00:10:17,690
with our own special, unique
brand of pleasure. Because I do
145
00:10:17,690 --> 00:10:22,220
believe that pleasure is a
really important ingredient to
146
00:10:22,220 --> 00:10:27,320
bring into prenatal preparation,
and can be really literally
147
00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:32,090
labor changing in birth. So
check out our Pleasurable Birth
148
00:10:31,990 --> 00:10:36,830
comfort.
149
00:10:32,090 --> 00:10:33,380
Essentials, but
150
00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:50,870
My not other category two is
really, set that mood for your
151
00:10:50,870 --> 00:10:54,530
birth room when you arrive. So
we kind of talked about thinking
152
00:10:54,530 --> 00:10:57,950
about it. But when you get
there, whether it's your doula,
153
00:10:57,950 --> 00:11:02,360
your partner, have someone
that's designated to keep the
154
00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:05,870
ambience, to adjust the
lighting, to put on the music.
155
00:11:05,870 --> 00:11:09,800
And so many partners love to DJ
the birth, and I love that,
156
00:11:09,890 --> 00:11:12,590
where they can queue up
different set lists for
157
00:11:12,590 --> 00:11:18,080
different feelings, and just
make it fun at times, and use
158
00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:22,340
that aroma therapy. I don't know
anybody when I say, if you were
159
00:11:22,340 --> 00:11:26,600
planning a really romantic
evening, would hospital smell be
160
00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:31,490
a part of it? And everybody kind
of squints up and goes, no. So
161
00:11:31,490 --> 00:11:35,870
change that fate space. And as I
mentioned, bring your favorite
162
00:11:35,870 --> 00:11:39,320
things around you. So when you
get to your birth space, have
163
00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:42,680
someone designated. Because if
you're in labor, you're not
164
00:11:42,680 --> 00:11:44,330
going to be the one doing that.
165
00:11:44,360 --> 00:11:47,390
I remember a couple times that
I've done a lot of birth art
166
00:11:47,390 --> 00:11:51,380
with clients as we're preparing
for birth, and one person had
167
00:11:51,380 --> 00:11:55,550
done so much. Actually, she was
an artist too, that we couldn't
168
00:11:55,550 --> 00:11:59,690
even fit all her art in the
room. So instead, she laid it
169
00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:04,340
all out on a gallery floor. Her
husband took up, shot down at
170
00:12:04,340 --> 00:12:09,770
it, and we actually pre measured
the wall that it would fit in
171
00:12:09,770 --> 00:12:13,100
the birthing space. And one of
the first things I did as the
172
00:12:13,100 --> 00:12:17,570
doula with sticky tack is put up
this beautiful one. We
173
00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:21,770
wallpapered with all her birth
art that expressed all her
174
00:12:21,770 --> 00:12:26,510
different fears, feelings,
desires, affirmations and
175
00:12:26,510 --> 00:12:31,070
wishes. So setting this space
and having the people that are
176
00:12:31,070 --> 00:12:35,330
going to transform it for you
very quickly. So when you get in
177
00:12:35,330 --> 00:12:38,540
it, and hopefully you're
arriving at the hospital where
178
00:12:38,540 --> 00:12:41,930
you're in good, hard labor so
you're not going to be the one
179
00:12:42,230 --> 00:12:46,820
putting that aroma therapy out
there. Having that done for you,
180
00:12:46,820 --> 00:12:51,530
but having done the pre work in
pregnancy to plan for it really
181
00:12:51,530 --> 00:12:55,790
shifts. Because when the space
feels like your space, you're
182
00:12:55,820 --> 00:13:01,550
going to move literally in
different ways versus coming in
183
00:13:01,550 --> 00:13:05,690
and having it feel like another
hospital room where you might
184
00:13:05,690 --> 00:13:09,260
feel that you need to get in the
bed and you become a patient
185
00:13:09,260 --> 00:13:13,160
where things are more done to
you, this is a day to stay in
186
00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:17,810
your power. And so when you make
this space your own, you're more
187
00:13:17,810 --> 00:13:22,010
likely to then move and do
things in your way.
188
00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:27,310
My third tip is advocate for
your needs. Use your brains,
189
00:13:27,310 --> 00:13:31,630
your voice and choice matters.
So again, communicate your
190
00:13:31,630 --> 00:13:36,820
preferences prenatally to your
caregiver. But really important
191
00:13:36,820 --> 00:13:41,050
in labor, you have a way how are
you going to make sure that your
192
00:13:41,050 --> 00:13:46,030
voice and choice is always
honored. Do you have a partner
193
00:13:46,060 --> 00:13:50,920
or a doula? Or both? Doulas are
really important. I feel at
194
00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:54,640
birth, and of course, I'm a
doula trainer so I have that
195
00:13:54,640 --> 00:13:59,260
bias. But often when you're in
labor, you have trouble really
196
00:13:59,260 --> 00:14:03,070
advocating and speaking for
yourself. And sometimes, if you
197
00:14:03,070 --> 00:14:05,080
ever been in that place where
you don't even know what you
198
00:14:05,080 --> 00:14:10,270
don't know, what are your
options? And partners get really
199
00:14:10,420 --> 00:14:14,500
often too, like they don't know,
they're so concerned with
200
00:14:14,500 --> 00:14:18,070
providing the care that they
can, that the doula is that
201
00:14:18,070 --> 00:14:22,300
person that's going to see
what's happening and facilitate
202
00:14:22,300 --> 00:14:23,290
communication.
203
00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:28,750
A doula will never speak for
you, but a doula will amplify
204
00:14:28,750 --> 00:14:33,370
your voice, will create the
space to say, do we want to take
205
00:14:33,370 --> 00:14:37,840
a minute here to really
understand what your choices and
206
00:14:37,840 --> 00:14:41,920
options are. To facilitate that
positive communication when
207
00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:45,970
caregivers are speaking to thank
them and honor them. And then
208
00:14:45,970 --> 00:14:48,760
check with you, did you
understand that? Do you need
209
00:14:48,760 --> 00:14:52,750
them to restate it? Do you have
questions? Do you want to know
210
00:14:52,750 --> 00:14:57,190
more? Do you need a little time
and space to take that all in
211
00:14:57,190 --> 00:15:01,240
because you're in labor? To
really make a decision if that's
212
00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:05,500
the right next step for you. So
of course, there are moments
213
00:15:05,500 --> 00:15:08,860
where things are more urgent,
and we don't have the time. But
214
00:15:08,860 --> 00:15:14,260
in labor, 99% of decisions have
the time and space for you to
215
00:15:14,260 --> 00:15:18,310
make sure your voice and choice
are in it, and a doula is really
216
00:15:18,310 --> 00:15:22,150
great at facilitating that. And
then making sure, even if you
217
00:15:22,150 --> 00:15:27,070
only have one word, a yes or a
no, that that is heard. Did you
218
00:15:27,070 --> 00:15:32,770
hear that that person just said
yes or that person said no? So
219
00:15:32,770 --> 00:15:37,990
we're really good at that. And I
said the brains at the top,
220
00:15:38,080 --> 00:15:41,440
again, I've done other podcasts
on this, but that stands for
221
00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:44,860
really understanding the
benefits, risks, alternatives,
222
00:15:45,130 --> 00:15:48,700
what does your intuition say? Or
how do you feel about it?
223
00:15:49,860 --> 00:15:56,370
Not now. I need more time. Or
maybe it's a no, not at all. And
224
00:15:56,370 --> 00:16:00,120
the S is that whatever you
decide that you feel safe and
225
00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:04,950
how the process goes. And I add
sexy because the hormones of
226
00:16:04,950 --> 00:16:08,790
birth are the hormones of
intimacy. And if you have
227
00:16:08,790 --> 00:16:12,270
certain choices that are
interventions, they can
228
00:16:12,270 --> 00:16:16,920
sometimes create hormonal gaps.
And again, Dr. Buckley talked
229
00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:20,730
about that in our earlier
podcast. And so how can you
230
00:16:20,730 --> 00:16:25,350
safely fill those gaps? I call
them your personal pleasure
231
00:16:25,350 --> 00:16:28,320
tools, or oxytocin enhancers.
232
00:16:29,110 --> 00:16:34,180
And my four is really, I hope
you're going to dive deep into
233
00:16:34,180 --> 00:16:39,490
this, is comfort and pleasure.
What are your coping with labor
234
00:16:39,490 --> 00:16:44,320
sensations? So I hope through
your preferences as we started,
235
00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:48,190
you've really put these down,
and you've talked with staff
236
00:16:48,190 --> 00:16:52,210
that this is part of what they
encourage and support to staying
237
00:16:52,210 --> 00:16:57,940
mobile. How much of the time do
they monitor you? And do they
238
00:16:57,940 --> 00:17:02,890
have wireless monitoring? And
more facilities do kind of like
239
00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:05,830
a cell phone. You can walk
anywhere and talk, well, that
240
00:17:05,830 --> 00:17:09,790
technology can be with fetal
monitors too. If you're still
241
00:17:09,790 --> 00:17:12,940
going to a place where you have
to stay close to the machine and
242
00:17:12,940 --> 00:17:16,690
it's plugged in, that's like
years ago when that phone was in
243
00:17:16,690 --> 00:17:20,170
the kitchen, if any of you
remember, on a cord, and you
244
00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:24,370
only could get as far away as
the cord took you. So you really
245
00:17:24,370 --> 00:17:28,690
want to know what those options
are. Do they provide birth
246
00:17:28,690 --> 00:17:33,160
balls, peanut balls, birthing
stools, squat bars, upright
247
00:17:33,190 --> 00:17:37,810
birth things? Do they provide
tubs? Is there a shower
248
00:17:37,810 --> 00:17:42,610
available in every room? Can you
labor and birth in the tub?
249
00:17:42,750 --> 00:17:47,520
Because we know that water, many
call the aquadural, and again,
250
00:17:47,520 --> 00:17:52,020
we had an episode with Barbara
Harper, our water birth guru, on
251
00:17:52,020 --> 00:17:56,010
the many benefits of laboring
and birthing in water. I've been
252
00:17:56,010 --> 00:17:59,730
at many water births, and people
said it was better than the
253
00:17:59,730 --> 00:18:04,500
epidural. It gave them so much
relief, but without all the
254
00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:09,240
wiring and the risks that do
come with epidurals. Are you
255
00:18:09,360 --> 00:18:13,050
working on breathing? Do you
have tools that you're bringing
256
00:18:13,050 --> 00:18:18,450
for relaxation? I talk a lot in
my workshops about Penny
257
00:18:18,450 --> 00:18:24,540
Simpkin's three Rs, Relaxation,
Rhythm and Ritual. So how are
258
00:18:24,540 --> 00:18:29,130
you doing that? How is breath a
part of bringing you that
259
00:18:29,130 --> 00:18:32,880
relaxation? And then, when you
think about comfort, measures,
260
00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:36,810
right? Make yourself a list.
There's not a one size fit all
261
00:18:36,810 --> 00:18:40,440
approach. And often you don't
know ahead of time which are the
262
00:18:40,440 --> 00:18:44,340
things that are going to work
for you. And of course, no one
263
00:18:44,340 --> 00:18:47,880
should suffer in childbirth.
There's a time and a place for
264
00:18:47,880 --> 00:18:52,620
epidurals, for nitrous oxide,
for other things that are more
265
00:18:52,620 --> 00:18:56,880
pharmacological to provide you
comfort. But you need to know
266
00:18:57,120 --> 00:19:00,540
what exists. where you're going
birth? What are their options?
267
00:19:00,630 --> 00:19:04,950
What do they do? First line,
which we often say, are the non
268
00:19:04,950 --> 00:19:09,030
pharmacological. All those
movement, touch, massage, water,
269
00:19:09,030 --> 00:19:12,810
dancing, singing in that. And
then, do they have nitrous
270
00:19:12,810 --> 00:19:17,280
oxide, laughing gas? What are
the other steps?
271
00:19:17,360 --> 00:19:21,830
So definitely, the other thing I
want to add to comfort measures
272
00:19:21,830 --> 00:19:26,360
and be listening, because we
have a lot of podcasts coming up
273
00:19:26,360 --> 00:19:31,130
for you about people that used
self pleasure and had some
274
00:19:31,130 --> 00:19:36,020
really wonderful self pleasure
tools that made all the
275
00:19:36,020 --> 00:19:41,450
difference, and they really are
saying that they felt a lot less
276
00:19:41,450 --> 00:19:48,260
pain, it created much more ease,
relaxation, even opening less
277
00:19:48,260 --> 00:19:53,030
tearing. There's a lot of
stories coming. And I think that
278
00:19:53,030 --> 00:19:58,700
too often, based on shame and
stigma, we haven't connected how
279
00:19:58,700 --> 00:20:02,660
much pleasure, especially self
pleasure, can play a role in
280
00:20:02,660 --> 00:20:07,610
birth, and we're starting to get
the data and the stories that
281
00:20:07,610 --> 00:20:11,900
really talk about the benefits.
So again, if that's something
282
00:20:11,900 --> 00:20:14,780
you want to learn more of, stay
tuned. We're going to be
283
00:20:14,780 --> 00:20:18,230
offering you a lot more in the
coming days. But it's also
284
00:20:18,230 --> 00:20:20,990
something you want to really
consider, can you talk with your
285
00:20:20,990 --> 00:20:27,260
care team? Because having your
full pleasure treasure chest of
286
00:20:27,260 --> 00:20:30,950
coping mechanisms and
understanding what they are and
287
00:20:30,950 --> 00:20:33,830
how they can be used is really
important.
288
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:37,801
And my fifth tip is, there's two
of you. What about the baby? And
289
00:20:37,875 --> 00:20:41,791
so every birth story is unique.
Your baby, it's their
290
00:20:41,864 --> 00:20:45,780
experience, it's your
experience. And sometimes, your
291
00:20:45,854 --> 00:20:49,843
birth story is going to be
different than you may have
292
00:20:49,917 --> 00:20:54,645
desired or envisioned. But what
a gift to maybe make that change
293
00:20:52,710 --> 00:21:55,200
When a baby's skin to skin,
they're also in this beautiful
294
00:20:54,719 --> 00:20:59,003
for your baby's safety to
welcome them. But once that baby
295
00:20:59,077 --> 00:21:03,214
is there, you have a real
opportunity to make this first
296
00:21:03,288 --> 00:21:07,499
hour or two very special. So
really important to put that
297
00:21:07,573 --> 00:21:12,301
baby skin to skin. We know skin
to skin care actually regulates.
298
00:21:12,375 --> 00:21:16,807
The birthing body regulates the
baby's temperature up to two
299
00:21:16,881 --> 00:21:21,461
degrees or down one degree. That
regulation is far better than
300
00:21:21,535 --> 00:21:25,746
any warmer. I always joke that
those warmers are good for
301
00:21:25,820 --> 00:21:29,883
french fries, but not for
babies. We know that not only
302
00:21:29,957 --> 00:21:34,315
will they stay warmer skin to
skin, they're getting all the
303
00:21:34,389 --> 00:21:38,674
wonderful microbiome. They're
seeding their gut intestine.
304
00:21:38,748 --> 00:21:43,328
They need to get that birthing
person. And later, if there's a
305
00:21:43,402 --> 00:21:47,687
partner, partners skin to skin
with that baby, but it also
306
00:21:47,761 --> 00:21:50,790
regulates their heart rate and breathing.
307
00:21:55,230 --> 00:22:00,870
oxytocin, the love hormone
bubble after birth, and that's
308
00:22:00,870 --> 00:22:04,980
helping them to stay calm and
connected, and it's what helps
309
00:22:04,980 --> 00:22:10,650
you fall in love to really get
to know each other and just be
310
00:22:10,650 --> 00:22:14,580
together. When a baby is
separated, they have response
311
00:22:14,580 --> 00:22:19,020
called protest, despair. A baby
that's separated over on that
312
00:22:19,020 --> 00:22:24,120
warmer will cry, that's protest.
And babies only stop crying of
313
00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:28,260
two reasons. They either get
back to their mother and then
314
00:22:28,260 --> 00:22:31,830
they're where they want to be,
or they go into despair when
315
00:22:31,830 --> 00:22:36,570
they're too tired to carry on
protesting. Babies in despair
316
00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:40,290
have very high levels of stress
hormones, adrenaline and
317
00:22:40,290 --> 00:22:44,850
cortisol, which will lower their
core body temperature, and more
318
00:22:44,850 --> 00:22:49,320
likely throw their breathing and
their heart rate off. So too
319
00:22:49,320 --> 00:22:52,890
often, we separate a baby and
then say that they have to stay
320
00:22:52,890 --> 00:22:55,620
separated because they're not
warm enough for their breathing
321
00:22:55,620 --> 00:22:59,250
or their heart is off when
that's all an artifact of
322
00:22:59,250 --> 00:23:01,560
separation, protest, despair.
323
00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:06,330
So really, doing a preference. I
always say one page about your
324
00:23:06,330 --> 00:23:10,230
first hour or two with your
baby, and even babies with many
325
00:23:10,230 --> 00:23:14,340
special needs do better. If
they're skin to skin, we can
326
00:23:14,340 --> 00:23:18,420
still have pediatrics there.
They can be getting oxygen.
327
00:23:18,540 --> 00:23:23,250
Babies that need extra care can
get it, but the best incubator
328
00:23:23,280 --> 00:23:27,930
is the birthing body. So really,
talk about that. There's a lot
329
00:23:27,930 --> 00:23:32,100
of research now on delayed cord
clamping, that that cord is
330
00:23:32,100 --> 00:23:36,690
still pulsing. It's bringing
that really rich, oxygenated
331
00:23:36,690 --> 00:23:41,790
blood to the baby. And if that
cord is cut before the blood has
332
00:23:41,790 --> 00:23:46,890
settled, the baby can lose up to
1/3 of their blood volume. Yes,
333
00:23:46,920 --> 00:23:51,750
1/3. Think about that. If you
lost a 30 year blood today, how
334
00:23:51,750 --> 00:23:55,650
would you feel? And those poor
babies can't let us know, but
335
00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:59,670
they must not feel good for
quite some time to be able to
336
00:23:59,670 --> 00:24:04,080
bring back that volume of blood.
And some research says it can
337
00:24:04,080 --> 00:24:07,050
actually weaken their immune
system. I read one study that
338
00:24:07,050 --> 00:25:38,310
even went out four to six
months. So this first hour is
339
00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:12,356
So back to our first one,
really, knowing your
340
00:24:12,363 --> 00:24:12,851
preferences, and not only what
you desire in labor, but writing
341
00:24:12,859 --> 00:24:13,316
a separate one, because staff
could be changing at the time
342
00:24:13,323 --> 00:24:13,788
you're giving birth. Having
something short and simple where
343
00:24:13,796 --> 00:24:14,268
you can talk about your desires
to stay connected, to be with
344
00:24:14,276 --> 00:24:14,880
your baby in that first hour or
two. And this also will support breastfeeding.
345
00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:20,534
Now, I do want to say, once
you're settled in a day, two or
346
00:24:20,630 --> 00:24:26,477
three, whenever you're in your
own bed and you have the time,
347
00:24:26,572 --> 00:24:32,611
it's really important to reflect
on birth. As doulas, it's part
348
00:24:32,706 --> 00:24:38,074
of our postpartum visit. We call
it processing the birth
349
00:24:38,170 --> 00:24:43,728
experience or debriefing, but
it's so important for you to
350
00:24:43,824 --> 00:24:49,575
acknowledge your strengths.
Birth often asks more of us than
351
00:24:49,671 --> 00:24:55,709
we could have imagined, and it's
discovering that there is this
352
00:24:55,805 --> 00:25:01,843
well within us that you're going
to find. That you'll bring not
353
00:25:01,939 --> 00:25:07,881
only into motherhood, but you'll
bring it into every aspect of
354
00:25:07,977 --> 00:25:13,536
your life. So taking time with
the people at your birth to
355
00:25:13,632 --> 00:25:19,574
really share your feelings and
for things that went different,
356
00:25:19,670 --> 00:25:25,325
to talk about how that felt,
that it went different. Did it
357
00:25:25,420 --> 00:25:31,171
go in a way that you still felt
safe, honored, respected and
358
00:25:31,267 --> 00:25:37,305
part of decision making? And if
not, what would you have liked?
359
00:25:37,401 --> 00:25:39,510
It's really important.
360
00:25:38,310 --> 00:25:38,970
really important.
361
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:43,389
Healing begins as you start
really honoring every aspect of
362
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:48,870
I hope these tips, especially in
a hospital. Taking the time to
363
00:25:43,463 --> 00:25:47,704
your birth story and celebrate
your wins. No one fails in
364
00:25:47,778 --> 00:25:52,391
birth. I always feel when people
say, I didn't have this, or I
365
00:25:49,170 --> 00:25:57,090
prepare ahead. Have a good class
that really prepares you. Visit
366
00:25:52,465 --> 00:25:57,152
didn't have that, but you gave
birth. And so again, every birth
367
00:25:57,227 --> 00:26:01,468
is unique. Every birth is
different. Every birth deserves
368
00:25:58,290 --> 00:26:05,400
your hospital, write your
preferences, communicate them
369
00:26:01,542 --> 00:26:06,378
to be celebrated. Sometimes, you
had to dig deeper into that well
370
00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:22,800
ahead with your care team.
Because if you're hoping for one
371
00:26:06,452 --> 00:26:11,214
of strength than you ever would
have imagined prior. But this is
372
00:26:11,288 --> 00:26:15,677
something to take pride in. If
you've watched our film, our
373
00:26:15,752 --> 00:26:19,993
documentary Orgasmic Birth,
there's a scene I always love
374
00:26:20,067 --> 00:26:24,456
where Trisha is just holding
that newborn and says, I'm not
375
00:26:22,800 --> 00:27:11,340
thing, and that's not what they
give you, that's going to be
376
00:26:24,531 --> 00:26:28,995
afraid to tell the whole world
how proud I am of myself. And
377
00:26:29,069 --> 00:26:33,384
when we show the film in public,
and I get to look around,
378
00:26:33,458 --> 00:26:38,294
there's often quite a few cheers
in the audience. Because I think
379
00:26:38,369 --> 00:26:42,684
that we don't say enough how
proud we are of ourselves for
380
00:26:42,758 --> 00:26:47,594
birthing our babies, for being a
part of this process wherever it
381
00:26:47,668 --> 00:26:51,240
is. I know that you can do it
with pleasure too.
382
00:27:11,340 --> 00:27:14,610
part of the disconnect that
you'll feel in birth. So knowing
383
00:27:14,610 --> 00:27:18,840
ahead, are you in the right
place? Do you feel safe, private
384
00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:22,950
and unobserved? And do you feel
safe to talk with them about
385
00:27:22,950 --> 00:27:27,120
your pleasure? Can you bring
that in? Can you transform the
386
00:27:27,120 --> 00:27:33,000
space into one that's your space
so that you stay in your power?
387
00:27:33,210 --> 00:27:37,290
You've got this, and I look
forward to hearing from you. I
388
00:27:37,290 --> 00:27:41,400
hope these tips have supported
you with some ideas to write
389
00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:46,320
down how you can have a
pleasurable, and I say, yes,
390
00:27:46,440 --> 00:27:48,810
orgasmic hospital birth.
